Never Again
by pattsylove
Summary: Bella and Jasper, life long friends move to NYC looking to start a fresh chapter in their lives. Can tattoo artist Edward show Bella that she is meant to be loved and that her dark past is behind her?
1. Chapter 1

NEVER AGAIN-Prologue

I had a craving. I knew I shouldn't have gone out by myself, especially at one in the morning on a Friday night, but Jasper was sleeping and Edward and Emmett were working upstairs on a new song. I _needed_ ice cream and the store down the block was open all night.

After I found what I was looking for, I made my purchase, thanked the cashier, grabbed my quart and left.

As I walked, I could feel someone behind me. At first I didn't think anything of it, probably psyching myself out for no good reason. It was just my imagination playing games with me.

But, as I kept walking, I realized it wasn't _just_ my imagination.

My heart rate picked up, my palms started to sweat as I tried to make my feet move faster with anxiety sinking in over who was behind me.

I heard the clicking of their shoes and the loudness of their breathing. There were no streetlights and it was dark, but I could see shadows of the form that followed me.

I started walking faster realizing that I wasn't just paranoid, there really _was_ someone following me. The faster I walked, the faster the footsteps moved. I began to panic, knowing that I had put myself in a very dangerous situation. _I should never have gone out by myself! What was I thinking_? _How hard would it have been to go up and get Edward or Emmett to take a walk?_ God I was so stupid!

I grabbed my cell out of my pocket and dialed Edward's number praying to God he would pick up as I kept moving as fast as my legs allowed. At least he would know where I was if something happened, which by the feeling in the pit of my stomach, there was _definitely_ something about to happen. My fingers were clammy, shaking with every button I pushed, knowing that someone was indeed behind me and that we were all _alone_.

As my shaky thumb pushed send, I felt arms wrap around my waist, fingers digging deep into my hips, jerking me into the dark alley. I cried out, dropping my bag and cell phone on the sidewalk as a large hand clamped over my mouth to silence my screams as my attacker pulled me further into the darkness. I tried to kick my legs and shift my body out of his grasp but he was too strong, and I wasn't going anywhere.

My back was to my attacker, so I couldn't see who it was. My entire body trembled not knowing who it was or what they were going to do to me. I hit my head back against him, hoping that if I hurt him he would release me, but I only made contact with something hard, his chest. He was tall and I did no damage.

I was thrown hard against the brick wall of my apartment building, knocking the wind out of me. As I tried to catch my breath, I looked up to meet _his_ eyes. I felt myself backing up into the building wall, obviously unable to go anywhere, but so terrified I was willing to try. His eyes glared back at me, full of repulsion and disgust.

"Where's your boys now, _Isabella_?" He screamed at me tightening his fingers over my throat. "I'm going to make you pay for every time you sicked your dogs on me. It was you!" he yelled shaking me with force. "_You_ brought this all on yourself, and now you're going to pay!"

He slapped me again and my head crashed into the building once more. I could feel something warm seeping into my eyes, and I closed them so I wouldn't have to see his face any longer. I felt my shirt ripping, his hands feeling my chest, pulling and squeezing as he went along. It hurt and I was sobbing with pain, but knew the sooner he did it, the sooner he would leave. He kissed my lips and along my now exposed collarbone before making his way down my chest.

Numbness crept over my exposed body.

I swore to myself this would never again happen, and here I was, back where it all started.

I felt him going for my pants and knew it was almost over.

I kept my eyes shut and waited.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So here is the first official chapter. Let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: SM's characters.**

**Chapter 2: Green Eyed Angel**

BPOV

"Jazzy seriously, can't you just move this shit by yourself? I'm not cut out for manual labor. It's our first day in the city, and I want to go out and _see_ things, not be stuck hauling our crap in all day!" Sure, I sounded a bit bitchy, but hell, I was sweating to beat sixty and we'd just drove non-stop from Texas. I was tired!

"Bell, come on. A few more boxes and the truck's completely empty. Just be thankful we decided not to bring the big stuff with us. But I swear if I didn't know any better, I would've thought you were a _girl _with all the clothes and shit you brought." Jasper probably wanted me to quit my bitching, but really, the '_you're a girl card'_? Come on!

Ok, so I was being bitchy, oh well.

"Yeah yeah, maybe that's because _I am a girl_, and honestly Jazz, maybe you don't see me as one since we've known each other _forever_, but really I am. I do enjoy more than t-shirts and jeans every day. I do have _some _style." I re-did my ponytail and wiped the line of sweat off my forehead. _Very lady like I'm sure._ "Okay, so the furniture company is gonna be here in an hour and I'd like to look presentable, so let's get this unloading business over with. I can't wait to see everything we picked out!" I clapped my hands excitedly while Jasper looked at me like I had one too many shots of espresso this morning. _So maybe I did, what's the big deal?_

A few weeks ago Jasper and I came to pick out furnishings for our new apartment deciding that it would just be easier to start fresh than to haul all of our hand-me-downs cross country. This was a new beginning for both of us, why not start out that way?

Jasper rolled his eyes at me but kept working. He knew that the only way the unloading was actually going to get done was if he finished it himself.

_That's right Jazz, after all these years of us living together, you should know better than to ask me to do something involving manual labor without bitching for the next 5 days. Come on!_

Jasper left me to go get another box from the truck as I looked around our new home with the biggest smile on my face. _Our new home!_

Today was our first official day in New York City. Jasper, who I've known since I was 8 years old was my best friend and brother for all intended purposes. He's been my rock and shoulder to lean on for the last 18 years, moving with me after my first book was published and became a hit across the country. We've been inseparable since middle school back in Texas, and at the golden age of 18, we moved away from everything we knew so I could attend college in Chicago and he could work with his first love, tattooing at a small shop just a few minutes from our apartment.

That of course was not the only reason for our move, but nevertheless it was the one we gave people. No need to lay _all _my dirty laundry for everyone out to see.

I started writing in college and two years ago when I started my book I never imagined I could really be living the dream of getting my work published. I'd been on the road much of the last year, flying to and from New York to meet with my editor and for book signings. Jasper, being the loyal friend he is, had accompanied me on every one of my many trips, and gave up his chair at the shop in Chicago.

Jasper never let me go anywhere alone in the last few years and I was grateful for his friendship. During our travels, he would work from time to time freelance, but mostly helped me with the book signings, standing as my manager and bodyguard when needed.

Jasper was _very_ protective of me for good reason. My love life hadn't gone so well, and I was a target for douche bags wherever I went.

It's taken me years to get where I am today, and I wasn't looking back.

My past was my past, and there was no changing history. I know now that I can only move forward. The counselor that I paid oober amounts of money to told me that, and eventually it stuck in my thick brain.

My book was a best seller and I made quite a profit from it. We decided that it was going to be easier to set up shop in New York and start the next chapter in our lives. Jasper and I were inseparable so we made the decision together. We'd always been family to one another and made sure that both parties involved approved every decision that was made. My father passed away when I was 16 and my mother was never in the picture. Jasper's Mama lived back in Texas and kept in touch with us both through weekly phone calls.

Jasper and I were both excited and overwhelmed with the move. I couldn't wait to start on my next book, and Jasper really wanted to get working again, knowing that I wouldn't be too far away. _Like he would LET me be farther than a 5-mile radius from him at all times._ Funny.

After all the short business trips that we'd taken over the past year, there was nowhere else either of us wanted to be. We loved the city and all that it had to offer. We'd done a good amount of sight seeing on our many little trips and wanted to live this life.

We were ready for this move and what was to come.

It was now 3:30 pm on a Friday afternoon in late August. Jasper had just finished with the last of the boxes and was laying face down on the carpet in our new living room, looking like a truck had hit him. _Poor Jazz._

Thank God he didn't complain about all the moving like me, or we would've never gotten anything accomplished. _Did I mention I hate moving, unpacking, boxes, getting dirty for anything other than sexual purpose, etc.?_

I freshened up a bit and after searching through several suitcases, found something clean to put on. I heard a knock at the door and ran to it giddy with anticipation for our new furniture.

Jasper slowly pulled himself off of the floor so that the delivery men wouldn't trample him.

_Smart man._

The movers were fast, moving the couch, love seat and coffee tables into the living room quickly. The brown leather looked awesome with the beige carpet. The entertainment center and flat screen were being delivered tomorrow and our living room would be complete. Jasper's and my bed sets were assembled quickly, and within an hour it looked like we actually lived here. We thanked the movers, and they left as soon as the last item was brought in.

Jasper decided to run to the deli down the block to get us some supper, so I started unpacking. I figured since he did all of the heavy lifting, the least I could do was unpack. I was a good Suzy Homemaker when I wanted to be_. Or when I needed to suck up for being a bitch._

I lost track of time and, when the last box was unpacked, I realized it had been three hours since Jasper left to get supper. Apparently, I was really lost in thought while unpacking, as the only reason I'd even noticed that Jasper wasn't back was because my stomach rumbled making itself known. _Great friend was I._

I started to worry, thinking the worst because that's where my mind _always_ goes. I called his cell but he didn't pick up. I began to pace, worrying that something terrible happened. I decided to send him a text when he didn't answer his cell to see where the hell he was.

First day in the city and I already lost Jasper.

_Good going, Swan!_

EPOV

I swear to _God_, if I have to put another damn tramp stamp on another 18 year old yatch this week, I'm gonna freak. I know, I know, it's money coming in to the shop, but seriously, do girls actually _think_ they're hot when they get the tramp stamp?

Think about the words you put on your skin, so when you're 80 and wrinkly, you can remember again why the word "Bitch" is written in perfect cursive just above your ass.

Okay, so maybe I'm a _little_ cranky. We've been down an artist for about a month now since my buddy Alex decided to get married and move to LA to open his own shop.

_The little bitch._

I was having a hard time filling the position, wanting to find someone that would mix well with my style and my brother Emmett who was my right hand man, and of course Alice would have to approve as well. That pixie wouldn't let me live to see another day if she didn't approve of who I was hiring, even though I believe _MY_ name was on the lease of this building, and _MY _name was next to 'owner' for "City Limits", _MY_ ink shop.

Sure, we had tons of artists who stopped in to check out the 'help wanted' sign in the window, but none of them felt right. I always found excuses for leaving the chair open. Emmett didn't complain about the extra work, so I figured I would just keep waiting for the right man to come by.

So, yeah, I was a little cranky for working so many damn hours. My hands needed a break and I was in dire need of a drink for my own sanity and probably everyone else's. _Pull the corncob out of your ass Cullen and grow some balls. _

I started drawing up the design for my 6:00 pm appointment when a tall lanky shaggy blonde haired guy walked into the shop. From first appearances, I could tell he was chill. He seemed pretty laid back and from the tattoos that were visible, had nice style.

"Hey man, what can I do for you?" I asked, looking up from my drawing and shaking his hand.

"Hey." He gave me the guy head nod. "You still have an opening for a new artist? I saw the sign in the window while I was walking past and thought I'd stop in." Blondie kept talking the entire time we shook hands.

"Yeah. It's open. Haven't found the right artist yet. My buddy decided to move out to Cali with the new wife a month ago and opened his own shop. I'm Edward by the way. This is my shop." Not sure why I felt I should give this guy the whole story all at once. Usually I made prospective newbies give me their dibs first. This guy was really relaxed and in turn chilled me out.

"I'm Jasper. Just moved from Chicago," he said, again with a smirk on his face, but not the type I would usually feel the need to wipe off for him. Just laid back and cool. "I worked in a shop there for about 6 years, then worked freelance for the last year or so. My buddy and I just moved to the city literally today, and I would love to get back into my art."

Again, I'm not sure why I felt I should give this guy a chance right off the bat, but what the hell. _Here goes nothing._

Then Alice walked in with a file in her hand.

"Hey Edw--" Alice looked up towards blondie and ran smack dab into my chest. The corners of her mouth pulled up and she did this flirtatious smile thing at him that made me want to vomit.

_Ugh…this is my baby sister. I don't want to watch this shit._

"Alice, this is Jasper. Jasper this is my sister Alice. She does the bookkeeping and piercing for the shop." This time it wasn't just Alice with the smirk; I looked over at Jasper who now had a shit-eating grin full across his face.

I watched as he took her hand and shook it, holding it for a few extra seconds, _which in my eyes felt like hours._ I thought Jasper was chill, but if he kept this shit up, I might have to wipe that smile off his face for him.

"Ok, yeah, Jasper." I ran my hand through my hair feeling _really_ uncomfortable with the present way my baby sister was ogling this guy. "Um...well if you want to show me some of your work, I would love to see it. I like your vibe, and think you could be a good addition. I have an appointment that should be here any minute -- you wanna give the design a try? It could be like your interview or something." _God I hope he's decent. I_ was letting him ink one of my regulars, so it better turn out good or I was going to spending a lot of time making up for it.

Jasper's eyes got wide. "Yeah, sure man. That would be awesome. I should call my roommate." He fidgeted with his phone before stuffing it back in his pocket. "Aw hell. It'll be fine. What do ya got for me?"

I had Jasper come around to where I was standing behind the counter and showed him the small piece I was working on that was a tribal symbol to add to Jameson's sleeve on his left arm. Jasper took a look at the piece. He could see where I was having difficulty fusing the symbol with other work that was on Jameson's arm, and took over. He was good. Either that or I was just too tired for my mind to think creatively. He was able to mold the two designs together within a few minutes like it was a peice of cake.

_I must be too crabby for this shit. Who the hell knows._

The whole time Jasper and I worked, Alice decided that she needed to work on the books at the counter as well, even though we had an _office_ in the back that she usually worked out of. I caught her stealing glances at him from time to time. The smile on her face was permanently plastered there.

So yeah, she's a grown adult. But come on, I like this guy and don't want to have to hurt him later on.

Jameson was on time and after I explained who Jasper was and that he was going to take over this piece, he was cool with it. I sat back and watched Jasper work. He was pretty good. He knew his designs and tools. Jasper gave me a little history on himself while he worked on the tat. He was originally from some small town in Texas where he went to high school, then moved with his friend to Chicago, where he worked as an artist at a little shop. He made a pretty good living off of it, but then decided to do some free lance work across the country saying he needed a change of scenery. Now he was in NYC and ready to settle down a bit.

Emmett came strolling in mid way through Jasper's session and gave me a _'what the fuck?'_ look, to which I just nodded a _'he's cool man, he's cool.'_

Jasper finished his piece on Jameson and it turned out pretty sweet. Jameson was pleased, and of course I didn't charge him for it since I didn't do the work myself. Jameson left, and I gave Jasper a man pat on the back while he was cleaning up the station. _Huh, he even cleans up after himself. Emmett could really take a lesson from him._

"You're alright Whitlock. That was some pretty sweet work. I like your style bro. You got any designs that you brought with that I could take a look at?" I liked his work and would like to see more, _even though I already made my decision._

"Yeah. I just live about a block away. I can run up and get my portfolio if you want." Jasper was ready to go right now, although I was tired and ready to get my drink on.

"What are you doing tonight Jasper? Emmett, his wife Rose, Alice and I are going out to Eclipse after we close for some drinks. You're welcome to come with so we can hang out and get to know each other a bit more. If you _did_ work here, I would want to make sure that everyone's cool with each other. " With that, I could see Alice's cheeks turn pink, and a smile creep along her lips.

_Yeah, I'm screwed._

"Let me talk to my buddy. Is it alright if I bring my roommate along?" I nodded telling him it was cool. Jasper then looked down at his phone and had a worried look on his face. "Shit man, sorry I gotta go. I've been gone for 3 hours. I told my buddy that I was just going down to get us some supper. What time you want to meet up?" _I like Jasper, but the way he worries about his 'buddy' had me a bit worried._

"How does 10 sound?" Alice answered for me. I think she was just a bit more excited to spend some time with newby than me.

"Yeah that sounds good. Hey listen, I really gotta fly, but I'll catch you guys in a bit." Alice gave him some directions and we both said good-bye. Emmett was with another customer and didn't really have a chance for a formal introduction, but nodded telling me he was cool with him. Five seconds after Jasper was out the door, Alice fell onto the couch we had by the front door grinning from ear to ear with her hand over her heart.

"Oh my _GOD,_ Edward!! You have got to hire him. He's my dream man, and I just _know_ he's going to be a great addition!" Alice was fucked. Head over heals for a guy she didn't even know yet.

"Alice sweetie," I knelt down next to my little sister and grabbed her hand, "you don't even know him yet. What if he's a major perv? Don't get your hopes up yet."

Alice slapped my hand playfully away. "Eddie, seriously. You know that I have intuition about these things. Jasper's going to work out great. And I think I _love_ him!"

I heard a loud clank on the floor behind me as Emmett stood up. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Allie honey, come on, you just met this fool," Emmett said while he picked up the tool he _'_accidentally' dropped. "Let us get to know him just a bit more, before you go giving me a heart attack back here!"

"Yeah and I don't want to have to have a reason for beating the shit out of my new artist," I said with a laugh. I was only kind of kidding…

Alice got up off the couch and started towards the office. "Okay, boys. I'll give it some time. Just know that he's the man I'm going to marry someday!"

Emmett and I looked at each other rolling our eyes, ready to lecture her a bit more, but she just shrugged her shoulders and sauntered off to the office. _We are so totally fucked._

My next appointment came in the door and I got to work on their design.

Just a few more hours before I could relax with my family and get to know this Jasper character a bit more.

BPOV

_JASPER, WHERE ARE YOU? I'M GETTING WORRIED HERE!_

_-B_

I sent the text to Jazz 30 minutes ago, now frantic that he got mugged in a back alley. I threw on some shoes and a sweatshirt and was just about to go out looking for him when the door flew open, and in walked Jasper with the biggest grin on his face.

_Did he happen to get laid on the way home, and if so, damn him and his shit-eating grin!_

No food was in his hands. _Fuck, I'm really hungry_. Not sure _why_ I was thinking about my stomach when I just thought my best friend in the entire world may have been _dead_ in an alley.

"Where the fuck have you been Jazz? I was worried shitless over here!" I threw my hands in the air, glad he was back, but angry for being so worried. "I tried calling and texting with no response. I thought you were dead in an alley somewhere. And I'm hungry too, damn it!"

Jasper swept me up in a hug and kissed my cheek. "Bella, I was walking to the deli and noticed this tattoo shop with a 'help wanted' sign in the window not too far from here. Anyways, I went in and talked with the owner who was pretty chill and he liked what I had to say, and let me tattoo one of his regulars. I'm sorry, I know I should've called, but I just got so into my work." Jasper was beaming from ear to ear. "Oh, and there was this hot chick that works there that I think I might be in love with!" Jasper was kind of a manwhore and didn't usually have this kind of a reaction when it came to a girl he wanted to screw. This. Was. New.

"Whoa, Jazzy!" I pushed against his chest wanting to be let down. "Slow down and start from the beginning. Wait, where's the food? I'm starving!" I growled, looking around him trying to find the non-existent bag of food.

"Fuck the food, Bell!" Jasper yelled in excitement. "I think I may have found a job, _and_ we haven't even been here for 24 hours yet! How about I tell you all about it over supper?" Jasper held out his arm for me, which I gladly took and we went to seek some grub.

We decided to go out and get Chinese a few blocks down the street.

Jasper told me all about his meeting at _'City Limits'_. Edward who was our age was the owner, and his sister Alice was 'smokin' hot' as Jasper put it. There was another guy that worked there too, Emmett, but he didn't get a chance to talk to him but he seemed cool too.

Jasper also told me during dinner that we were meeting them all at this bar _Eclipse_ at 10pm. I scowled at Jasper for the lack of time to get ready, but dressed quickly when we got back, settling on a dark blue halter top and a pair of my favorite dark wash jeans that hugged me in all the right places. I paired the outfit with a pair of black boots, left my hair flowing around my shoulders, did my make up and was ready to go.

Jasper looked good _as usual_ in a button down plaid shirt and faded jeans, throwing on some docs to spice up the outfit. I think he was trying to impress this Alice. Usually when we went to bars, it was t-shirts and jeans for him. Jasper was hot. He usually had a swarm of girls around him everywhere we went. I'd never really seen the guy date, but he definitely had his share of 'sleep overs' as I liked to call them. To me, he was just my brother. We tried the romantic thing in high school, but there was _no_ connection. It was too much like kissing my dad.

Jasper had full sleeves of tattoos on both of his arms, a 'Whitlock' tattoo on the side of his neck along with many more that covered most of his body.

Tattoos were hot, and I had to say it was nice walking in anywhere on Jasper's arm. He'd been trying to coax me into getting a tattoo for years, but I hadn't found one that I really wanted. I kept telling him someday, which I knew would eventually happen because I was absolutely in _love_ with anything ink related. Really, I wanted one so badly that if he did get this job, then I would let him ink me, _finally_.

Eclipse was walking distance from the apartment, which was good so we could drink and not worry about how we were getting home. A little before 10, Jasper and I set out. He was bringing his portfolio with him so he could show his potential new boss over drinks. _We'll see how well that works out after several shots. _

We arrived at Eclipse and immediately went up to the bar and ordered drinks. It was our first night in the city and I wanted to celebrate. After each of us took two shots, Jasper spotted the group he was looking for. I didn't look up, as the waitress _finally_ took my order. _Little bitch took her sweet time getting to me and took the hot blond God on the end first!_

I was waiting for another round of drinks and told him I would catch up in a minute. Of course like usual, Jasper didn't want to leave me alone, but it wasn't a big place and I figured he could see me easily enough if he wanted to go look for the guy from the shop. Moments after Jasper left, I felt two hands slide around my waist venturing towards my crotch. I immediately reacted and grabbed the man's hand pulling it backwards.

"Get your hands off of me douche, before I _really_ hurt you." I was still had his left hand pulled back when he cried out in pain. His other hand started to press harder on my hip, grinding me into his package when I turned quickly and kneed him in said package.

_That was going to leave a bruise._

"Bitch!" Douche yelled. "You're going to pay for that! Didn't anyone teach you any manners?" He was leaning over me and whispering in my ear. He smelled heavily of whiskey and I felt my stomach churn. "I'd be more than happy to teach you some."

I twisted myself around to face the douche and pulled his hand back tighter. His other hand had moved but still clenched tightly to my hips. His grasp was getting tighter and was really starting to hurt. I was small but had taken several self-defense classes over the past couple of years and knew what to do.

Just as I was about to chew this fucker out, the sweetest voice came from behind me.

"Get the fuck off of her!" Yeah, that was an angel's voice. I felt the pool form between my legs with those few words.

_Whoa, wait, not the time to be thinking of that! And really, getting excited from some guy's voice that I didn't even know? It's been too long, Swan._

Angel's voice then grabbed Douche and pushed him back. Douche swung to hit at Angel Voice and made contact with his face. The sound was deafening. Angel Voice didn't even flinch; he just pushed Douche a bit harder. Then one of the bouncers showed up, noticing the riff that was taking place, and escorted Douche out.

As soon as Douche let go of my hip, I brought my own hand up to massage the area where his fingers had made indents.

_Definitely will be bruised in the morning._

I bruised easily, always had, so there was no question in my mind that they would be there when I awoke.

I felt a warm hand placed on the small of my back and the angel spoke again.

"Hey, are you okay?" I turned to look at the angel, and OH. MY. GOD! _Yup, panties were now completely soaked. _Angel voice was at least 6'1 if not taller, covered in tattoos from what I could see, and had both ears and his eyebrow pierced. _Oh, and what's that? Oh yeah, the tongue is totally pierced too! Fuck me!_ His shaggy copper-colored hair was a sexy mess that just screamed 'run your hands through me', _which I will gladly do if I get the chance_.

_He's looking at me funny. Did he say something? Oh right, I think I should answer before he thinks I'm incapable or something._

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." I couldn't stop staring at him. I felt my cheeks blush and couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face. "Douche didn't have any manners."

"Douche?" Angel Voice cracked a smile, and my panties were getting uncomfortable. That was the most beautiful smile ever.

"Uh, yeah. I called him Douche. Not sure what the fucker's real name is." I started to smile and then began laughing. I was totally embarrassed for how Angel Voice must have seen me staring at him, ogling his Adonis like body.

"Hey, I'm Edward by the way." _Angel Voice has a name. Me likes! _"You want a drink?"

"Yeah. Vodka cranberry," I said, not taking my eyes off of Edward. "I'm Bella. Oh, I need a Jack and coke for Jazz too. I was getting our drinks when Douche felt the need to mark his territory."

"Jazz?" Edward looked confused.

"Yeah, Jasper's my roommate. He's here somewhere. I told him I would get us another round while he went to look for this sweet tattoo artist he met today. Potential job for him." I took a sip of my drink and looked back at Edward. "Some girl he has the hots for is with him as well, I guess."

Edward looked amused. "Well, _Jasper_ is an odd enough name that I think that I'm that _'sweet tattoo artist'_ he was meeting up with. And the girl would be my sister Alice. You must be his roommate that he was talking about earlier. Sorry I kept him for so long." Edward's eyes went up and down my body and I blushed realizing he was checking me out. "Now I know _why_ he was worried about getting home."

_Ok, this night is going well. Edward is Jasper's potential new boss? And I could potentially be around this angel daily?_ I could feel my blush heating across my face. Well, that isn't the only heat I was feeling. But that bit of information was beside the point_. Bella, you need to say something now!_

"Okay. Wow. I hope I didn't just totally embarrass Jasper or myself now. I have a way with word vomit." _Shut up Bella!_

Edward smiled again, and ran a hand through his glorious copper hair. "Word vomit?"

"Yeah, it's when I can't control what I say." Yup, embarrassed is a good word. "I'm going to stop talking now." I pulled out some money to pay for the drinks and put it up on the bar. Edward's hand grasped over the top of mine and let it linger there.

"No. Drinks are on me tonight." Edward continued to grasp my hand and I was loving the feeling. He gave the bartender a knowing glance. I'm sure he had a tab going.

I grabbed my drink and Jasper's and took a sip of mine. "Thanks!" I murmured. Edward stared at me for several seconds_. Does he like what he sees? Not sure. _I could see his eyes moving up and down my body again, and was thankful for the bit of liquid courage and the genius who invented the push-up bra.

"So, we should probably go find everyone else." Edward gave me a crooked smile that melted me to the core. I nodded in agreement unsure if I could form a coherent thought.

He grabbed his own drink and let me lead with his hand again on the small of my back. His hands on my body were like fire. _I like fire_. I had been with a few guys in my 26 years, but this felt like electricity running through me. Did he feel it too? _Taking this a bit far, aren't we Bella? You just met this guy. You don't even know if he's interested or if he has a girlfriend. Ugh!!_

We made our way to the table where Jasper was leaning in close talking to a short chick about my age with short spikey black hair and a sense of style. She had on a black tube top that showed off her beautiful art work lining her arms, matched with a black skirt, tights and a pair of chucks. She had her eyebrow, nose and lip pierced. _Some wicked style if I say so myself._ They looked like they were getting cozy.

Edward cleared his throat as we got closer, eyeing Jasper up, and they both looked up with smiles on their faces.

Jasper looked at me and then at Edward who still had his hand on my back. His face fell and I swear he even growled. I shot him a _'shut it!'_ look confusing the hell out of him. Edward noticed this and interceded.

"Some douche was trying to get on Bella at the bar, and I kindly made my presence known, then introduced myself." Edward was a bit cocky, smiling as he spoke, but I liked it.

Alice's face looked horrified as she looked at Edward's face. "What the fuck happened to your face brother?"

I hadn't realized that when Edward got hit, he was hurt. Not thinking about it, I set my drinks down and ran my hand across his cheek that was just slightly swollen from the blow. Edward leaned into my touch and I swear I heard him moan a little. I wasn't sure if it was in pain or pleasure, but I was hoping it was pleasure.

"Edward, I am so sorry. Are you hurt?" A look of panic crossed my face, knowing that if he was hurt, it was my fault. He grabbed my hand and brought it away from his face, letting our intertwined hands hang between us.

"No, I'm fine." Edward winced just a bit before smiling. "My jaw isn't made of glass. I've taken worse."

So now I was intrigued to say the least. Was Edward a fighter? Was he a bad boy? A rebel? And if so, he obviously could hold his own. I smiled to myself thinking of where my mind was going_. I liked bad boys. They need to be spanked._ I looked down and began to blush with my mind in the gutter.

Jasper, who was staring at our intertwined hands, stood up to pull out a chair for me and put his arm around the back of my chair trying to mark his territory or something. I gave him a knowing glance and sat down. Edward took the seat next to me and sadly let our hands drop.

As soon as I sat, I let out a small groan as my hip throbbed where Douche decided to mark his territory. I rubbed circles around the area trying to soothe it away. Edward looked at me with a pained expression ready to speak, but Jasper beat him to it. Jasper put his hand over my own.

"Bell, are you okay? What's wrong?" Jasper looked concerned and upset. I knew this look. I'd seen it many times before. I squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

"It's not what you think Jazz." I tried to play it off. "Douche was trying to feel me up and got a bit upset when I tried to break his hand. Don't worry. He didn't get too far."

I could see the knowing look in Jasper's eyes. The look that he's given me so many times before. The look that tells me he was sorry that he wasn't there for me.

Jasper grabbed my hand a bit tighter, which made me jump. Edward noticed this and gave Jasper an evil glance. I interceded to make things clear.

"No Edward. It's okay." I put my free hand on his chest, and he relaxed at once. Where was this confidence coming from? I didn't even know this guy. "Jasper's my buddy, and looks out for me. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. And I'm sure it won't be the last." I said the last part low, thinking only I could hear it.

Edward's face looked pained again, but he didn't say anything. I guess he heard the last part too. He didn't know me though, or anything that I had been through.

I'm not _that_ girl anymore, I kept telling myself. Jasper squeezed my hand again. We knew each other way too well.

"Sorry I wasn't there for you Bell." Jasper looked saddened. I shot him a smile and kissed his cheek. If I didn't know any better, Edward looked pissed.

_Was he jealous? Hmm...._

_Really, was I having to go back and forth between my best friend and a guy that I'd just met? What was this, a love triangle?_

"Not a big deal. I'm fine." I tried to shrug it off again. Trying to change the subject off of me, I said, "So, Jazz, this's Edward. Small world."

Jasper smiled and rubbed his hands over his face. "Yeah. This's who I met up with today. Weird how this night's turning out." _You and me both buddy. You and me both._

The pixie that had Jasper's attention gave me a smile, which I returned quickly. I noticed that I was being rude and hadn't even introduced myself yet. _Yeah, way to make points with the family Swan. Ogle the brother and totally ignore the sister._

"Hi, I'm Alice, Edward's sister, bookkeeper, piercer extraordinaire." I reached out my hand to shake hers, but she suprised me by getting up and ran around the table to hug me. I embraced her hug and laughed a little at her forwardness. "And you're Bella. Jasper was telling me about you while you were at the bar. I think we're going to be great friends."

I laughed and hugged her again. The little pixie has energy. Seems like she drank one too many Red Bulls before she came out tonight_. _Edward spoke up as he laughed and shook his head as he took a drink.

"Okay Tink. Let the girl breathe. You can do all of your friends talk later. I want to see some of my man's designs here." Yup, back to business.

As Jasper and Edward looked through his portfolio, Alice and I got to talk. She worked at the shop with her brothers Emmett and Edward, and liked fashion. I also think she had a thing for Jasper. Just a hunch that I had. The guys were very much into shop talk when Alice grabbed my hand and excused us to the bathroom. Both guys looked over with an amused expression. Edward's face however, looked concerned. _Does he think the little pixie is taking me away and never coming back?_

As soon as we got in the bathroom, we both freshened up and started our gossip.

"So, is there anything between you and Jasper, Bella? Or is he free game?" Alice was powdering her nose and waiting for an answer.

"No Alice. Jasper's my best friend, and is _'_free game'. " Alice's smile grew larger. "In fact Alice, when he got home from his meeting today with you guys, he looked pretty excited about this girl he met."

"Oh yeah, well I was pretty love struck by this guy I met today too." The little pixie was beaming from head to toe.

"Hey Alice, so what's your brother's story?" I didn't look at her, afraid to hear that he had a girlfriend or something.

"He's definitely single. Edward doesn't date much. Says he just hasn't found anyone worth wasting time on. But I swear, every girl that comes into the shop throws themselves at him." Alice was blunt, but to the point. _I'm okay with that._

"So I shouldn't waste my time then?" I asked worried again for her answer. _Please say you think that I'm worth wasting time on, please!_

"You, my dear Bella, are just what he's been looking for. I have intuition about these kinds of things." Alice beamed, looking into the mirror. "I seen the way he looks at you, and the way you both have been touching. Edward doesn't let just anyone touch him like that. Usually it takes him a long time to let anyone into his life."

With that, we made our way back to the table arm in arm like we were old friends. Edward and Jasper were no longer alone. There with them sat a big muscular bear of a man and a beautiful blonde super model. Alice and I took our seats, and I downed the rest of my drink.

_Ready for another one._

"Bella," Edward started, "this is my brother Emmett and his wife Rosalie. Guys this's Bella, Jasper's roommate."

They both shook my hand. Although Emmett was huge, he reminded me of a teddy bear. Rosalie was quiet but seemed friendly enough. All three of the guys went into more shop talk while the three of us girls went to the bar together for more drinks. The guys didn't take their eyes off of us, and were ready to pounce at anytime. I found out that Rose was a model_, go figure_, and that Emmett worked with Edward at the shop. _All in the family_. I told them about my book and the tour that I had just finished. They both seemed intrigued by the book, and I told them I would get them copies if they wanted.

We made our way back to the table in time to hear the best part of the conversation.

"So, Jasper," Edward began, "I like your style, and I would like to offer you the open chair at the shop. You can pretty much pick your own hours, and work on your designs in your free time. What do you say?" _Cha-ching!_

"That's awesome!" Jasper was grinning from ear to ear, and looked at me for approval. I smiled back in agreement. Edward noticed this and looked confused. "When can I start? And is it okay if Bell's around? We just moved to the city, and I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone for long periods of time." I kicked Jasper under the table for treating me like a child and was about to chew his ass when Edward spoke, staring intensely at me.

"Bella, of course you're welcome around the shop as well." Edward's voice melted me once again but his eyes moved back to Jasper almost immediately. "We have plenty of space to just hang out or work if you need to. And Tink would probably love the company, usually being just around us all day."

Alice gave her brother a knowing smile, and then grabbed me in another hug and started a giddy laugh. The boys finished up their shop talk, and Jasper decided he wanted to take his portfolio home so it didn't get lost at the end of the night. Alice offered to walk with Jasper back the few blocks to our apartment.

_Not too sly guys._

Of course before he left, he made sure that I was ok with him leaving me alone. Well actually, Alice told Edward and Emmett that they were responsible for me.

I got up and started towards the bar to get another drink when I felt an electricity flow through my arm. I looked back to see Edward's hand on my arm.

"Where're you going?" Edward asked, his voice dripping hot with sexiness.

"To the bar for a drink?" _Or to my bed to make sweet sweet lovin' to this Adonis in front of me. _It came out more of a question I guess. "Did you want one?"

Edward got up and walked beside me. "Yeah, I think I need a drink as well. I'll go with you."

As soon as we got up to the bar, we were both quiet.

_Awkward._

We stood there next to one another, not talking when I felt hot breath on my ear and an arm wrap around my hips, pulling me backwards. _Ugh. Not again._

_This is why I don't go to the bars, too many drunks that think they own the place!_

"Hey sexy. Wanna get outta here? You look like you want some fun, and baby, I am all about the fun," Douche 2 whispered into my ear. He smelled like rum and sweat.

_There goes my stomach_.

Edward glared at the man, and Douche 2 let go of my waist and backed away, slowly.

"Damn it Bella!" Edward looked all hot and bothered_. I liked it._ "Can you go more than a few hours without attracting douche bags?"

That pissed me off. Like I wanted this attention. "Sorry Edward, it isn't like I'm begging these fuckers to put their grubby hands all over me!"

He blew out a large breath of air, and again ran his hands through his hair. "Fuck, that isn't what I meant. Bella, you're so damn hot, and these losers can't seem to control themselves. Some guys don't have any manners. I'm not mad at you, it's just annoying, frustrating I guess." He didn't make eye contact and stared down at his glass.

I seductively put my hand on his hip and inched forward until I was whispering in his ear. "So Edward, you think I'm hot do you?" _Come on big daddy, tell me what you think… _Not sure if I was liking the person I was around Edward. One minute I was mad at him for making assumptions, the next I wanted to jump his bones.

Edward snaked his arm around my waist and roughly pulled me to him, whispering in my ear. "Bella, if I wasn't such a gentleman, we wouldn't still be standing here like this. I don't have much control, so I can't guarantee that I will stay a gentleman for long. Don't push it."

Not sure why I wore panties, they just became soaked..._again_. Edward moved my hair behind my shoulder and skimmed over the skin with his nose. I let out a small moan and moved myself closer to him. I swear I heard him groan as well when our bodies made contact.

Our drinks came and we pulled apart. I slammed mine down in one shot. Edward followed suit and did the same. We ordered up a round of shots and proceeded to take those as well. My liquid courage was now in full swing. On our way back the table, Edward wrapped his arm around my waist, and seductively whispered in my ear.

"Dance with me?" Edward asked. I nodded, afraid I wouldn't be able to speak.

Edward led me to the dance floor, as "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon came on. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me to him closer, as I wrapped mine around his neck. Edward sang verses in my ear, and I was thanking God that this man was holding me up, as I felt me knees give out.

Emmett and Rosalie joined us shortly, followed by Jasper and Alice who I didn't see snuck back in.

_I think we are going to like living in the city._ This could be a good group of friends to hang out with. And Edward, well, I didn't think I could put him into words. He was amazing, beautiful, perfect.

As the song came to an end, Jasper tapped me on the shoulder for a dance. Alice must have run to the restroom. I didn't want to give up my spot with Edward, who looked upset when Jasper put his arm around my waist, but I didn't want to hurt Jazz either.

I saw Edward make his way towards the bar then lost sight of him.

"So, Bell, what's going on with you and my new boss?" Jasper's face turned serious and I felt like a child being scolded.

"Jazz, I don't know. I don't know him. But he seems like a pretty decent guy, and I think he is _totally_ fuckable." I laughed, and Jasper rolled his eyes. "Work with him for a while and get to know him, let me know what you think."

"Okay, I can do that. He seems like a pretty chill guy." Jasper looked troubled. "I just worry about you being hurt Bell. I don't think I could watch another man hurt you. It isn't right for you to go through anything else. You've dealt with enough and deserve some happiness. And if he hurts you, I won't be afraid to fuck him up, weather I like him or not."

"I know Jazz. I'm leery too," I said. "But let's just get to know this guy first before we judge him too much. And Alice seems pretty great too."

"Yeah, I think I like her. A lot." Jasper began to blush. _I know that blush._

"Jasper, you didn't!" I knew what he did. Fuck. I smacked his chest and he just looked down, not wanting to make eye contact. _That little perv._

"I think she's my soulmate, Bell." Jasper looked guilty.

"Jasper, you fucked her after knowing her for what, only a few hours?" I asked. "Please tell me you kept it to _your_ bed. _Mine_ is still brand new, and _I_ want to be the one to christen it." _With Edward that is._

"Yes, Bell. My room. Best sex I've ever had." Jasper was now totally blushing, and a huge smile crept along his lips.

"Yeah, well hopefully her brothers, who are your new buddies, won't be too pissed. She being their little sister and all." I started laughing at the possibilities as his body went stiff.

This should be interesting.

Alice came back and we danced together for a few more songs. Edward however, didn't return. I asked if anyone knew where he went getting a few shaking heads that didn't seem too concerned. Edward looked pissed after he saw Jasper ask me to dance. But Jasper and I were just friends. I thought that was clear, and if he watched how Jasper and Alice were getting along, he'd realize that. But what did it matter anyways? I'd just met this guy a few hours ago. Not like he'd made his claim or anything.

Oh, well. I'd see him eventually I guessed. _Yeah, that isn't soon enough,_ but I had the contacts to get to him, so that was good. I can't say that I wasn't disappointed though, I really liked Edward. _Well at least what I know of him so far._

At closing time, we walked back with Alice, Emmett and Rose. I guess it was a smaller world than I thought. They all lived in the same building as us. Alice and Edward shared an apartment; Rose and Emmett another. Edward and Alice even lived on the same floor as us, just down the hall. Emmett and Rose were two floors up. Jasper gave me a piggyback ride home as my liquid courage made me less graceful than usual.

We all said good night and went our separate ways.

Jasper and I collapsed as soon as we shut the door. My new bed felt like heaven.

Our first day in the city was over. It had been a long day, but ended with happy thoughts.

I closed my eyes and began to dream of the green-eyed angel that would now be in my nightly thoughts.

**A/N: So...what do you think? **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ok, so this chapter is shorter than I wanted, but I didn't want to go into anything else yet and nothing really fit here. Hope you like it so far. Tell me what you think with a review, it will make my day, I promise!**

**Disclaimer: I own this laptop. Well actually the credit card that I bought it with does, but that's just a technicality right? SM's characters, not mine.**

Chapter 3: The Man in the Window

BPOV

The rest of the weekend was spent arranging the apartment. Everything we ordered arrived on Saturday, and the place was starting to look like a home. Jasper and I had gone out to get groceries and essentials after the last of the boxes were unpacked, and some normalcy was starting to set in. It was nice to have some food in the house so we didn't have to go out for all of our meals -- I did enough of that on book tours and was ready for a home cooked meal.

Jasper was in seventh heaven when I made him Mama's recipe for fried chicken, green bean casserole and mashed potatoes. _It was good. I am queen for the day._

Alice came over on Saturday and Sunday and helped me organize the kitchen and bathrooms. She had a knack for design and really made us feel at home fast. Her and Jasper were pretty chummy with each other, and it didn't take me long to realize that they made a good couple. And don't think for one second that I didn't notice all the times that Jasper needed her help in his bedroom. I knew exactly what he needed her _help_ with_._

Alice and I had a lot in common and I could see her becoming a great friend. I soon found out that she had a shopping fetish and had our apartment decked to the nine in a matter of days. The little pixie was seriously crack on fucking wheels with the way she shopped and found every single sale in the mall.

I didn't usually keep a lot of people close in my life, especially girlfriends. It had always been just Jazz and me. My mom left my dad and I when I was just a baby, and I haven't seen her in years. She would come around every now and then, but didn't make any effort to get to know me. So really, the only constant female figure in my life had been Mama Whitlock. She wasn't much of a shopper, but she was a great friend. My dad Charlie died in the line of fire when I was 16, and after a beautiful service for him, Mama Whitlock took me in.

Mama treated me like I was her daughter, and I finally felt like I had a mother figure. Living with Charlie for so long had made me a tomboy and I desperately needed someone to show me the ropes on how to be girly. Because living with your cop dad, there obviously weren't a whole lot of tea parties and dress up.

Charlie's passing was also the start of the dark years. I had no family left, and all I wanted was to feel loved. Jasper and I had a group of friends we hung out with in high school but lost touch with them quickly knowing that it was safer for us to not mix friends into my fucked-up life.

Unfortunately for me, I didn't see Edward for the rest of the weekend. Well, not for long at least. Alice said that he had a lot of work to do at the shop as they had been down an artist for the last month. I was hoping that one of these times he would show up at my door with Alice, but it never happened.

I began to dream about Edward nightly.

His piercing green eyes staring at me while he danced with me, singing in my ear, the way my body felt on fire when he touched me. His voice was heavenly, and he was the reason for the restful sleep I received night after night. I would wake with a smile on my face every morning. Jasper would just play it off as I was having some special 'alone time'.

_Whatever._

_Let him think what he wants, right?_

This man that I barely knew was affecting me so much that it scared the hell out of me. I couldn't remember a time when a guy affected me at all.

Past relationships led me to believe that I couldn't be loved. And something about Edward made me feel whole, special, wanted, appreciated.

I had only met him once, I kept telling myself, trying to remember that I didn't really know _him_, and he didn't know _me_. But I wanted to know him.

I wanted to let him know me.

Emmett and Rosalie stopped by on Sunday and we had dinner together. I found that they'd been married for about two years and were thinking about starting a family soon. Rose had a few more big shoots coming up that she wanted to finish before 'ruining' her body as she put it. They were high school sweethearts.

Emmett was a funny shit. He'd crack jokes left and right throughout dinner, never missing a chance to make me blush, _which really wasn't all that hard to do_. I liked him right away. He and Jasper seemed to get along pretty well too, which was good because they would be spending so much time together at the shop. Edward popped his head in to say hi, but left right away saying he was tired.

My mind begged him to stay, but I didn't want to push him.

Monday came around and I began working and doing research on my new book. Jasper went into the shop for his first day, wanting me to come with, but I didn't want to invade his space, or Edward's. Jasper pleaded with me to go with him, not wanting to leave me by myself, but I promised him I wouldn't go out and if I did I would call.

Jasper called me every hour on the hour when he was gone. I kept to my word and let him know if I was going anywhere, but that didn't mean he let up at all with the protective brother act. I thought it was sweet the first few times, but eventually got annoyed with the constant calls making me feel like I was being babysat.

The next two weeks went by just like that. I worked from home for the most part, talked to Jasper every 60 minutes and Alice stopped by when she wasn't at work to hang out.

No Edward.

Alice explained that it was hard for Edward to let anyone in. Well, I shouldn't say explain, because that was basically the entire conversation, but at least I got a little insight of who he was and why he hadn't been by. I just thought that after our time together that night at Eclipse that I was the exception.

I guess not.

Each day Jasper begged me to come with him to the shop, but I declined saying that I wanted to get used to the apartment and get things situated. He was afraid of me walking around the city by myself, but I assured him that I was a big girl and could take care of myself.

_Well in the daylight at least_. And I had my pepper spray, and learned a thing or two from my chief of police father about self defense.

I had to reason with him time and time again. This was not Texas or Chicago. There were no bad men here.

_Well, I'm sure there were thousands of them, but not the two that lurked in my dreams_.

I met with my editor Angela several times to get things ready for my next book signing, but otherwise kept to myself. Jasper worked a lot, wanting to pull his share of the weight, which left me to my own doings for most of the time.

I had to admit I was getting lonely, and even though Alice spent what time she had available with me, I really needed to start getting out.

I needed _something_ more to do. I came to the city to live a little and so far had onlyseen a whole lot of the 4 walls that I called my home.

Jasper and I decided to do some sight seeing the second weekend we were in town. Alice of course came with us, deciding that she could be our personal tour guide. She knew the city like the back of her hand. We took a ferry to the Statue of Liberty, shopped on 5th Avenue, and ended the day going to Central Park. I loved Central Park and hoped that some day I would get married here, horse drawn carriage and all. It had been a dream of mine since I was a little girl.

Jazz and Alice wanted to take a carriage ride and urged me to go with. I declined, not wanting to be the odd man out. I chose instead to meet up with them afterwards and walked down the block to a coffee shop.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and pushed myself down into a comfy chair near the front window with my tattered copy of _Wuthering Heights._ I'd read the thing at least a hundred times and knew it by heart, but continued reading it over and over again as it was my favorite book of all time. It was comforting.

I had been reading for about half an hour when I got the feeling I was being watched. I didn't know why, but I did.

I could feel eyes on me and, at first, I thought maybe I was just being ridiculous, but the feeling didn't go way. My stomach churned at the thought that someone was watching me.

Nervously I looked up to see a man glaring at me from outside the window. I blinked my eyes a few times, thinking that my mind was playing games with me.

Unfortunately, they weren't.

There stood a tall, buff man with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail that I would recognize anywhere.

Then I met his eyes.

Those _familiar_ eyes.

_It can't be James, _I told myself. He hadn't attempted contact in at least a year.

_My mind must be playing tricks on me_, I thought. He didn't know about our move to New York.

No one knew of our move.

In fact the only people that knew about us relocating were Mama Whitlock and my editor. We kept our phones unlisted and didn't make a big show of moving. That was another reason why we didn't bring much with us. Just in case we were spotted.

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes trying to relieve them of the fog that was settling in and glanced back out the window at the man to see if it was all just a dream. I didn't want to see his eyes glaring at me again, but I had to know for sure if what I was seeing was true.

When I looked up, he was gone.

My heart rate picked up and I could feel my stomach drop.

_It's all in your head Bella._ I repeated that sentence over and over again, hoping that I would finally start to believe the words. _James doesn't know where you are, and you're safe._

For the next hour I sat trying to convince myself that I wasn't the seventeen-year-old little girl that he remembered.

I was stronger now. _Four years of counseling _**_made_**_ me stronger._

He was never going to hurt me again.

I hadn't realized that I pulled myself into a ball until the boy behind the counter came over and placed his hand on my shoulder, most likely to make sure that I was all right. I reacted like I always did when someone touched me and slapped his hand away.

_By the way he looked at me, it was a little harder of a slap than I thought._

I silently said I was sorry hoping that I didn't look too crazed.

The poor boy couldn't have been more than sixteen and was just trying to see if I was okay. I left a generous tip on the table in front of me, disposed of my trash and nervously left the coffee shop.

I didn't know where to go or what to do, it had gotten dark and I didn't know my way around the city yet. I wondered if he was still out here. I looked around in each direction but saw no one.

I glanced down at my phone and realized that I had ten missed calls. Peeking at the time, I saw that it had been more than an hour that I spaced out.

It was now close to 10pm, and Alice and Jasper left me at 6pm.

I picked up my phone and dialed Jasper knowing that he was probably freaking out over my absence.

He picked up on the first ring.

"Bell!" He let out a big breath of air. "Where the HELL are you? I've been calling you for the past couple of hours and you haven't picked up your damn phone! I'm going insane over here!"

"Jazz, calm down. I'm fine," I said trying to convince myself too. "I got caught up reading a book at the coffee shop by the park, and I guess I lost track of time. I'm on my way home right now."

"No!" he yelled. "Stay where you are and I'll come and get you. I'll be there in a few minutes. You're not walking home alone in the dark. Tell me where you're at and I'll come get you."

"Jasper, really, I can just walk home. I think it's only a few blocks." I looked around at my surroundings and realized I didn't know exactly where home was now that the adrenaline had worn off a little.

And it was dark.

Not my favorite time to be walking home.

"Okay, never mind. Come and get me." I told him the name of the coffee shop and I could hear Alice in the background giving him directions.

10 minutes later Jasper and Alice pulled up in his truck and we made our way home. I apologized for being a flake and excused myself saying I was tired and went for my room before anything could be said.

Jasper gave me a glance silently telling me he knew something more was going on, but didn't push it. I think that Alice had something to do with his calmness, as usually I would have gotten quite a lecture for just disappearing for so long.

As strong as I had felt over the past few years, I suddenly felt like I was that seventeen-year-old girl living in Texas, watching, waiting to see what I had done wrong this time and how he was going to 'handle' it.

That was the only time I left by myself for the next week, even though there was nothing to do at the apartment. Jasper and Alice had to work and I wasn't going to become an inconvenience in their lives.

The apartment was huge, but I started to feel like I was suffocating with no way out.

I had to get over this fear so that I could start living my life.

**A/N: So the next chapter is Bella and Edward. And maybe a taste of future lemonade. I'm still going strong pumping out the chapters. Plan to update VERY soon. R&R please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Two chapters in one night is something isn't it? This one has something for everyone. Well over the age of 18 that is. Brownies, tattoos, piercings, and....some lemonade. (Just a little though)**

**Disclaimer: My cat Snickers thinks I am its owner...**

Chapter 4: I Love Brownies

BPOV

By Friday night I was bored out of my fucking mind so I started baking. Baking is what I did when I was bored, anxious, or anytime that I had to have _something_ to do with my hands.

Midway through my brownies, I realized I didn't have any butter. _Damn it, Jasper and his fucking popcorn that he insisted on drowning in butter._

Thinking that I would just run across the hall to Alice's, I didn't bother putting anything on, I just stayed in my boy shorts and tank top not even stopping for shoes. I'd been home alone all evening and didn't think anything of the outfit I had on. And Alice seeing me like this wasn't gonna be any skin off my back. _She has the same parts, so what's the dif?_

To my surprise, and probably his, Alice was _not_ who opened the door when I knocked.

Edward stood in the open doorway staring at me, looking my body up and down, with a slight smile playing across his lips.

_You like what you see, Cullen? _

The more he stared, the more I became self-conscious and crossed my arms over my chest realizing I hadn't bothered to put a bra on in my quick attempt to get some much needed butter.

_Smart one, Swan._

Edward stood there in a sleeveless t-shirt, showing off all his glorious muscles, and navy blue running shorts. Tattoos ran up his legs as well as his arms.

_Fuck me, I will say it again._

_This man is like walking sex._

_And that body, ugh...._

Edward hadn't made his presence known lately, and I couldn't believe the way my body was reacting to the God, probably from all my _alone time_ thinking about this Angel standing in front of me.

"Hey." Edward ran his fingers through his hair as he leaned against the doorframe, beer in hand, and he gave me a crooked smile that melted me. A pool was forming in my thin shorts, and I was ready to blow the whistle and tell the kids that break time was over; the pool was full.

"Hey," I said in return. I couldn't think of anything further to say, trying to hard to hide my stare.

_I came here for a reason right?_

"So, you want to come in or something? It's...kind of drafty in the hall." Edward was openly staring at my chest with a big grin across his lips.

_Yep, no bra on as I was home alone and only expecting to see Alice._

It was cold to say the least.

"Oh, uh, sure." I walked passed him into his apartment, which looked a lot like ours.

Except for the cloud of smoke lingering in the living room.

Edward went and sat down on the couch, picked up his lit cigarette and continued to smoke. He motioned for me to have a seat next to him. I sat down, crossing my legs underneath myself unsure of what to say. Edward picked up his beer and silently asked me if I wanted one. I nodded yes and he went to the kitchen, brought back another, and opened it before passing it over.

"So, do you always knock on your neighbor's door looking like..._that_?" Edward asked with a smirk, eyeing my chest.

_Keep staring buddy, I know you like what you see. The bulge in your damn shorts gives you away in a BIG way._

"Oh." I looked down at my appearance. "No, I thought Alice would be here, and it didn't really matter what she saw me in." I thought about what I said and took a drink of my beer and thought some more. "Not that I didn't _want_ to see you. I mean I _wanted_ to see you. But you haven't been around, and I figured you wouldn't be here...okay, here I go with the word vomit again." I rushed the last part and looked down at my beer bottle knowing I was rambling like the fool I was.

"You _wanted_ to see me?" Edward laughed, took another pull from his smoke and exhaled.

_Um, duh?_

"Yeah, I guess I did." I took a sip from my beer and leaned forward to put it on his coffee table. As I moved, my tank top rode up and showed the almost healed bruised flesh of my hip.

Edward set his beer down, and to my surprise rubbed his hand over my bruises. That same electricity that I felt at the bar shot through me where he touched.

"Bella, is this from that night at the bar?" Edward left his hand on my hip. The warmth almost brought me over the edge.

_Would you like if I lied and said no? I have a blood disorder?_

An angered expression passed over his face.

"Yeah. It's fine though. Almost healed. _Not like I haven't had much worse._" The last part I said low, mumbling to myself.

"What did you say?" Edward asked_. _Apparently he has the ears of a dog.

"I fall a lot. Get bruised easy." I looked down at the hem of my shirt.

_Yeah, that's a good cover up. Now I sound like a battered wife who is in denial._

_Great._

"Hmm." Edward picked up his beer and offered me mine.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence we fell into easy conversation, changing the subject away from my bruises. Edward asked what brought me to the city, and I told him about my writing. He seemed truly interested in it. Either that, or he was the world's best liar_. _Edward told me more about the shop, and sounded down when he asked why I hadn't been in yet. I was honest and told him that I didn't think that he was interested, and wanted to keep my distance. To that, he just laughed.

_Cryptic much?_

"Edward, why did you leave the bar the other night?" It had been bothering me for the past two weeks and now was as good of a time to ask as any.

"Oh." He looked like he was trying to figure out what to say to me. "I got in a fight with a friend and felt like getting fucked up by myself. So I walked home, stopped at the liquor store first, got a bottle of Jack, and drank myself until I passed out."

_Hmm_, I thought. I didn't see him talking to anyone at the bar, and I really didn't think that was the reason he left, but wanted to hear him try to make an excuse. "Well, I had a fun time with you that night, and was bummed when I lost my drinking buddy." I gave him a smile as his piercing green eyes met mine.

Edward smiled at this and took another drink of his beer, so I followed suit. Something was on his mind that he didn't want to talk about, and I wasn't going to push.

"So Bella," Edward started, ripping the label off his bottle with fidgety hands. "What's with you and Jasper? Is he your boyfriend or something?" He almost mumbled the last part.

_I guess he did want to talk about it after all._

"Um, definitely not. Jasper and I have been friends since we were eight. He's been there for me through some really hard times. He's a great guy, but we've been through too much to be romantically involved. I practically think of him as my brother. And besides, haven't you noticed how much time he's been spending with Alice?" Edward didn't seem like a dense guy, but if he couldn't see what was going on between Alice and Jasper, I was going to have to rethink that.

"Yeah, I just wanted to be sure. You guys live with each other and shit, and...I just didn't know." Edward looked down as he spoke, unsure of himself.

_This jealous thing is actually kind of cute._

"Edward, what's it to you even if we are together?" I knew I was getting pissy, but I wanted to know what it was that Edward was getting at. The jealousy was cute, but we needed to get a few things straight.

I _wanted_ it to bother him, just so I knew that he had feelings for me too.

"Just wondering what my chances are to getting to know you I guess, I don't fucking know," Edward replied not wanting to make eye contact and peeling the label off his bottle.

"And since you're wondering if you can get to know me, what are you going to do about it?" I asked, starting to get a little heated. "Because you haven't been around for the last two weeks. You could get to know me if you wanted too."

_You REALLY could've gotten to know me if you'd played your cards right buddy._

"Bella...." Edward looked broken. "I want to get to know you, but...I have a hard time letting people in. I'm complicated, and shit." He ran his hands through his hair again. "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not good at this."

_Believe me when I say that I'm complicated and shit, too._

I hadn't noticed myself getting closer, but now our knees were touching and I was leaning forward towards Edward. "Edward, I want to get to know you too. Will you let me in?" My hand ran lightly over his left cheek. His eyes shut as he leaned into my touch.

Much to my liking, Edward didn't respond with words. Instead he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his lap so that I was straddling him. I leaned forward into him as he pulled my mouth in for a kiss. This wasn't a soft kiss. This kiss had urgency behind it. It was hard, and hot, and sexy, and God it was amazing.

_God I love this kiss. It's like nothing I've experienced before._

My experiences made me believe that I wasn't worthy of a kiss like this.

But maybe there was hope for me after all. Maybe Edward could be the guy that showed me what love really was. I'd be willing to give him a chance at trying at least.

Edward deepened the kiss and soon his hands were all over my body, under my shirt, grabbing my ass, running up my sides and fingering through my hair. I grabbed onto his arms and was enveloped by his muscles hardening under my touch, holding me in place.

After a few heated moments, we had to break free from each other to breathe. Both of us were panting like we'd been running.

_I'd do marathons with you any day of the week. ANY day of the week._

I continued to sit in Edward's lap as we stared into each other's eyes when we began talking.

"So, what exactly did you come over here for again? Not that I'm complaining, just enjoying this outfit you have on." Edward rubbed his hand over my thin tank top, which caused me to shiver at his touch. "And if it wasn't for me then--"

I cut Edward off. "I was making brownies and I didn't have any butter. I needed some butter." My words came out a little more rushed than I meant. "Oh, and by the way," I whispered into his ear, "this," I grabbed his hand and placed it on my chest -- apparently bold Bella was out to play -- "outfit is for you. I love Alice, but I was hoping you would be here." I really hoped that he was going to be home, and the no bra thing was really working to my advantage.

Hearing Edward moan made me moan as he began hungrily kissing me starting at my lips, and working his way down my neck and collarbone.

_Dear Lord and baby Jesus that feels so fucking good. _

Edward moved down toward my chest, licking at the thin fabric above my tank top. He nuzzled his nose underneath the fabric of my shirt searching for and finding the top of my left breast. His lips opened and he began sucking on the sensitive skin, making my entire body tingle in pleasure.

In the two relationships that I'd had, foreplay had never been about me. It was about him, and his needs. So in theory, this was virgin territory for me and I loved it. A guy that I cared about was actually spending time trying to make _me_ feel good.

Edward's head moved further into my shirt and before I knew it, he'd taken my hardened nipple in his mouth. I was straddling his thighs and the heat coming from my core was radiating through those thin shorts.

He had to have felt what he did to me. Hell, the couch probably felt what he did to me.

I felt him harden beneath me as he began nuzzling his nose to the other side, where he took my right nipple in his mouth and began the same torturously amazing movements causing me to moan loudly over and over again.

My back arched as Edward pulled my body closer to him, taking more and more of my breast with each suckle. Although Edward was working my body over like never before, I needed to say something, end this before things went too far. I mean, I barely knew him and should make him wait a few dates for it, or something.

I'm not a slut by any means, and this was not something that I'd ever done before_._

I pulled back from his grasp thinking he would get the hint, but he just pulled me tighter against him.

"Edward," I pushed against his chest again hoping that I didn't need to use my karate nunchuck skills on his fuckhot body. He continued to suck and nibble down my chest making me moan at how his lips and tongue felt on me. He wasn't getting the clue because I was_ obviously_ sending mixed signals. Although he didn't loosen his grip, I wasn't afraid of him hurting me. Edward wouldn't hurt me. I knew this without knowing him. "Edward!" I yelled a little louder.

This time he stopped sucking and looked up at me. "Bella? Do you not want this?" He looked sad like I stole his puppy from underneath his eyes. I could feel his prominent hard-on beneath me, and felt bad for giving him a wicked case of blue balls. "Shit Bella, I'm sorry. That was way out of line."

"No, it's not that, Edward." I tried to reason with him, there was no reason that he needed to beat himself up over something that I obviously wanted just as bad as he did. "I do want this. You have no idea what you do to me." I rubbed myself into him a little more so he knew exactly how much I wanted him. _Yeah, why don't you make a nice stain on his shorts? That'll be a good reminder._

Edward apparently took this as a sign to continue on, rubbing my clit through my thin shorts, causing my hips to buck into his hand with every swipe of his fingers. "Bella, I think I'm quite _aware_ of what I do to you."

As much as I wanted to continue our impromptu make out session, we both stopped, his hands resting on my ass as we cooled off enough to act like rational adults again.

Yeah, I wanted more too, but he didn't understand. I wasn't used to feeling like this. And it was going to take some time to help me figure out that Edward was real and genuine.

A little more time.

I needed to get to know him, and the kind of person he was.

"Edward," I put my hand on his cheek so that I could see he was looking at me. "I've had some bad relationships in my past, and I need to get to know who you are before things go any further. I've gotta look out for myself a little more than I have."

"Okay." He looked hurt but understanding, his eyes showing that he was deep in thought. "Look Bella, this isn't something that I typically do. You're the first girl that's been in my apartment with me. But if you talked to my brother or buddies, they'd tell you I'm some type of womanizer. Totally not the case. As I told you, and probably my blabbermouth of a sister has too, I don't let people into my life easily. But you, I don't know how to say it, you're so different, and I think that's why I've stayed away from you the past couple of weeks. I'm afraid of what I'm feeling, and not sure what to do. I swear I dreamt about you every night for the past two weeks wondering when I would get the balls up to see you again. And when you didn't come to the shop, I figured I waited too long and you weren't interested. I'm such a pansy sometimes!"

_Is he telepathic or something? Cuz we are totally on the same wavelength._

"I feel it too, Edward. From the first time you touched me at the bar, I felt as if there was electricity running through me." I kissed his nose, and ran my hand through his hair as he nuzzled his way into the crook of my neck. _Oh my, I've wanted to do that for so long_. I let out a small moan knowing that it wasn't helping my case of slowing things down one bit. His hair just turned me on further if that were even possible.

"Bella," Edward looked sad again and wrapped his arms around my waist, "when those guys were touching you at the bar the other night, I...I wanted to rip their heads off. I didn't even know who you were, but I couldn't help myself. All I could think about was that I didn't want them to touch MY Bella. You looked like you were holding your own, but it hurt to see someone else with their hands on my angel."

_Claiming me as his own? Am I really this lucky? Pinch yourself biotch -- make sure you're not having a dream. A wet dream at that._

"_Your_ Bella?" This interested me. He thought of me as an angel too? That's what led me to him. Him and his angel voice that melted right through my soul. I was having a hard time comprehending the fact that he thought about me like I had him over the past few weeks. Was this even real? Was I even sitting on his lap right now, having made out with him just minutes ago?

"Yeah." Edward was blushing trying to look away from my eyes, and there was that smile again. This hard-core artist was blushing and it was adorable. "Sorry, I hope that doesn't freak you out. I want to you to be _my_ Bella."

If my filter wouldn't have been working, I would have told Edward to take me then and there, but I had to hold on to some dignity tonight.

"Like, as a girlfriend?" I asked. I couldn't help the smile that was playing across my face as I pulled a piece of hair away from his eyes.

"Yeah, if you want to use those terms, I mean, we're not kids anymore, but yeah, I guess that's what I'm asking." Edward blushed again. "Damn it! I'm not good with all of this pussy shit!"

"It's okay. Why don't we get to know each other better, and then we can determine labels for one another? But I don't mind being _your _Bella, just so you know." I grinned at him again. His beautiful smile returned mine as I felt his arms around me tighten.

We sat there like that for a few minutes just holding each other, enjoying this newfound relationship that was quickly forming.

"So, about those brownies. I have butter. Can I help you make them?" Edward shyly asked, trying to change the subject that he was clearly embarrassed to talk about. "I really like brownies."

Edward had a soft spot. This hard man with all of the tattoos had a soft spot_. For brownies. Huh._

This man wanted me to be his in some capacity, and I was happy and shocked all at the same time. I would make him brownies as often as he wanted to see him like this.

_Hell, I would make him cakes and donuts too._

Edward and I walked back to my apartment after he got some butter.

I ran to my bedroom and came out with a pair of shorts to put on thinking that I tested the limits enough for one night.

Edward stopped me as I was pulling them up my legs and placed his fingers at the hem of my panties.

_Dear Lord, look at those fingers. So long, and slender, and…damn it! Get your mind out of the fucking gutter already!_

"I would rather you not do that." He said with a grin spread across his face rubbing his fingers along my smooth stomach. "I think you're perfect the way you are." _Might want to move your fingers before the torrential rain starts and they get wet. _

"Okay, smart ass. But you explain it to Jazz when he gets home and I'm walking around in my underwear in front of a guy I met a few weeks ago. He has a history of not liking it when guys are too close, if you haven't noticed. Do you want to see the police reports?" That shut him up. And I wasn't joking. There were a few run-ins with the police.

"He does seem very protective of you," Edward said. A questioning look crossed his face. "I know it's none of my business, but can I ask why? Now that we got a few things straight, he sounds like he's more of a brother figure to you, but usually there's a reason _why_ someone is that protective."

"Someday I might tell you, but for now, can we not go there?" This conversation would be hard for me and I didn't want to get into it tonight. I only met this guy two weeks ago, and I knew I was falling hard for him, but I also didn't want to scare him away either.

He would need to find out eventually if we were going to try and see where this would go. _Eventually, as in later._

Edward kissed my lips and nodded in agreement. We made brownies together, getting to know each other more as the night went on, along with enjoying some brownie batter that _accidentally_ landed on a few parts of one another's bodies. Edward's favorite color was blue and he obviously liked piercings and tattoos. He also liked to draw for fun and entered some of his work in contests here and there. I vowed to go clothes shopping tomorrow -- items on my list would include ANYTHING blue.

I was curious to find out if he had the peen pierced, but figured I could find out for myself some day and not _ask_ that awkward question. _I crossed my fingers hoping and praying that I would find a special surprise._

Edward asked about my family, I explained that I was an only child, and that my father had passed away when I was sixteen and my mother was never in the picture. I told him how I lived with Jasper and his mom after my father passed away, and that's when Jasper and I really grew together.

I wasn't ready to tell him _how_ or _why_ we'd grown so close during those years.

Edward had lived his whole life in New York. He was twenty-six, and opened his shop six years ago with some of the inheritance he was left from his grandfather. Emmett was two years older than Edward, and Alice was two years younger. Their parents lived about two hours outside of the city, his father being a surgeon and his mother an interior designer. They had a condo here in the city as well that they stayed at while his father worked. Edward said that he had a pretty descent relationship with his parents, but you could tell there was more he wasn't telling.

But I guess that discussion was for another time. We all had skeletons in our closets.

_I knew that better than most._

Edward was curious about the book I had written, and I ran to my office and got him a copy, telling him repeatedly that he didn't need to read it. I didn't think it was his type of read. Edward surprised me with his knowledge of authors and books that I too enjoyed.

_I guess you can't judge a tattooed book by its cover_.

Edward talked to me about his fascination with tattooing and piercings, and started to explain some of them.

"What about this one?" I pointed to the tribal tattoo that took up most of his right arm.

"The symbol represents strength and courage. My grandfather and I were very close. And after he passed away, I wanted something to remember him by. He influenced me, and showed me that I was a stronger person than I gave myself credit for," he replied, staring at the art.

On his upper right arm he had a dragon with chains broken in its hands made of barbed wire. "This one?" I asked lightly running my fingers over it.

"My past. Esme and Carlisle aren't my real parents. They adopted me when I was six," he started. "Elizabeth and Edward were my birth parents. I haven't seen them in twenty years. I was left on the Cullens' doorstep when I was six and they adopted me shortly after. I don't know much about my birth parents, just that they were alcoholics that didn't give a damn about their only child. They've never tried making contact with me over the years and it really messed me up for a while. I wanted something to show that I was breaking the chains that bound me to them. I'm not the same guy I used to be, and I won't dip that low ever again. Not because of them." His voice was low with a hint of remorse. He was really opening up to me, more than I expected, and I appreciated the fact that he trusted me with this information.

He had the word CULLEN up his left bicep, with barbed wire snaked through the letters. He had some miscellaneous designs up his right arm that he didn't go into detail about saying they weren't important.

When he got nervous talking about something, I noticed he would clank his tongue ring against his teeth. It was hot and really got me going for reasons I couldn't explain. But we were just trying to get to know each other, not jump each other.

_Not tonight anyway._

I asked to see more tattoos and he took off his shirt displaying his glorious chest in all its buffed, panty-dropping glory. I also noticed that he had both nipples pierced with small barbells through each. I wanted nothing more than to touch them, but thought that would get us into another situation I wasn't entirely ready for.

_Well, my body was ready, but my mind, not so much._

I traced the word "Masen" across his stomach as he shivered under my touch.

"My birth father's last name. I didn't keep it after the adoption, but I wanted to have some remembrance of the family I came from. My grandfather Masen was a big part of my life and I held a shit load of respect for him, even though my father turned out to be a douche." I wasn't expecting that.

I pointed to one over his right shoulder. A crest of some sort. "The Cullen family crest. All three of us have it on us. Emmett's is on his shoulder, and Alice's is on her hipbone. It ties us all together and reminds us what we stand for." Again, not what I expected to hear from him.

Maybe someday he would be inking _me_ with the Cullen Crest._ Whoa! Getting ahead of ourselves now, aren't we?_

He had several Chinese symbols on his chest, and various other tattoos covering his legs. He said in time he would go into more. Then he asked me if I had any work done.

"I've wanted to get one forever, but always worried about the permanent part. Jasper's been bugging me since I was sixteen." With that I laughed as I thought of all the times he begged me to let him ink me.

"I want to ink you Bella. I would love to put my mark on you," Edward said as he grabbed my hand and stared into my eyes. "Fuck, I don't know what it is about you but, when I talk in front of you, I sound like such a pansy."

I laughed and squeezed his hand. "What do you want to do to me?"

_Was I really asking him this?_ From the look in his eyes, there were many things he wanted to do to me, but I was talking tattoos, not sex. _Okay, maybe I was thinking about sex, but I meant ink_. Jasper had been begging me forever and I couldn't believe I was giving in so easily.

"I want to put something right here." Edward brushed his hand against my hipbone and pulled down my shorts so that he could show me the exact spot. I think he just really wanted to feel my skin and see how far I would let him get._ I was okay with either/or._ "Something feminine and dainty, just like you."

"Oh Cullen," I started with a laugh. "I'm not dainty, and I'm not breakable. Jasper treats me like that though, so I could see where you would think it. I think I want something here," I lifted my hair and pointed to the back on my neck. "Like a Chinese symbol or something. But I like your idea of the hip too. I want a swan."

"A swan?" he asked with a questioning look. Then he got it. "Okay, to symbolize your family name. And what do you want on your neck?"

"I'll tell you, but you can't ask questions about it right now, okay?" He nodded. "'Never Again.' That's what I want on my neck in a Chinese symbol." I looked down when I said those two words, thinking about the meaning behind them.

They were the two words that I'd lived by for the past couple of years, and that had made me who I am today. I'm not the weak little girl who took that shit like I used to be. With time and therapy, I was a strong woman who could fight for herself and what she wanted. _Oh, and a lot of money to my therapist, who is probably off in Cabo spending it._

"I can do that. When do you want to start?" Edward was anxious to touch my skin. He looked like if I said 'right now,' he would grab my hand and lead me to the shop, even though I knew it was late. _He does own the shop -- throw on a sweatshirt and go._

"Uh...when do you have available?" I asked.

_Seriously, I was really doing this?_

"Tomorrow morning?" hasked hopeful that I would say yes.

"Okay," I said. "I'll be there when you open."

"I can't wait to ink you Bella." He smiled and rubbed his hand across my upper thigh. He leaned in for a kiss, which I gladly gave, but leaned back when I heard the front door open.

Jasper and Alice came in and plopped down on the love seat. They looked hammered, and had probably been out at the bar after work.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Jasper asked with a smile on his face. Trying to act fatherly I suppose. He tried to be serious, but he liked Edward and was willing to give him a chance, so the tough act wasn't working.

"What's it look like we're doing, fucker?" Edward joked back. He wrapped his arm around me and rubbed my arm. "I was just about to kiss my girl. You got a problem with that Whitlock?"

_Ugh... melting me as we speak with that sexy voice of his._ I loved the cockiness and hoped that he would actually follow through with those plans..._someday. _

Then I remembered who he was saying this too, and I started to get a little nervous. First of all, Jasper knew nothing of what had happened between us and, second of all, hearing a man wanting to do anything physical with me probably wasn't all that kosher in his book.

"_Your_ girl?" Jasper asked looking confused.

"We have no problems with that at all, Eddie!" Alice squeaked putting her little hand over Jasper's mouth before he could say anything further. She had a knowing look and was grinning from ear to ear_. _

_Poor Edward is going to get an earful from the little pixie tonight, I'm sure._

"Alice, I _hate_ that nickname. If I didn't love you so damn much, I would smack that shit-eating grin off your face, you little pixie!" Edward came back with a chuckle.

"Well, I think that's enough for tonight. I think I'm calling it a night, too much information from all parties involved," Jasper said standing up with his hands over his ears.

It was almost 2am and I hadn't realized how tired I was getting. We walked Alice and Edward to the door and both said goodnight. Edward gave me a kiss and grabbed my ass for good measure when Jasper was caught up with Alice. He may have sounded like he was tough, but I think Jasper scared him just a little. I guess I could give him that much. _I'm sure I gave him at least one set of blue balls this evening._

And it's not like I didn't enjoy it_. _He would be the reason for my sweet dreams tonight.

I hadn't thought about the incident with the man in the window at all this evening. My guess was that Edward had occupied all the thoughts that my brain allowed me to have for the night.

I felt safe when I was with him.

After they left, Jasper wondered what had happened with Edward, so we sat up eating brownies and ice cream while I told him about my evening down to my wardrobe malfunctions. He laughed and kissed my head after rolling his eyes with disapproval for my clothing choices. He told me about him and Alice as they continued to get _closer_ as time went on. She practically spent the night here on a regular basis, so I would say that they were getting _closer_ indeed.

We were really starting to enjoy our time in the city.

I went to bed a few hours later, again dreaming about my green-eyed angel, but woke to a pounding on the door at 10am.

**A/N: So...who's pounding on the door? And how was the lemonade? Sweet enough or a little tart? I know it was only minor, but come on they can't be slutting it up right away. That is just not ok.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Another chapter for the lucky ladies that are reading this! Thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate them!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. The all belong to the one and only SM. Darn!**

Chapter 5: Hoodies and Carriages

BPOV

Around 10am, I heard a knock on the door. After going to bed just a few hours prior, it was way too damn early to be up.

I rolled out of bed in only a wife beater and some short pajama shorts, hoping I could just open the door slightly and tell whomever it was to fuck off and go away. _Bitchy Bella was in full force when she was tired._

No such luck.

It was Edward, dressed for the day, in light blue jeans and a fitted black t-shirt. I couldn't help but ogle the man at my door. _Well ogle was one word. Eye fuck him would be more like it, but that would just be a little fast. But not wrong my mind told me. Ugh!! I've got to quit having these internal conversations with myself! I don't think it's healthy. If Jasper knew about it, he'd be on the phone with my therapist scheduling my next appointment immediately._

Like last night, Edward stared my body up and down as I opened the door for him to come in. He kissed my cheek as he walked past me saying something along the lines of _'good morning beautiful' _as he pulled himself up on the counter in the kitchen and motioned me to come over to where he was seated. Of course I did, like a dog being called to its master. _Really, this is Edward fucking Cullen here, he snaps his fingers, I move. Plain and simple._

He spread his legs motioning for me to stand in between them as I wrapped my arms around his waist, totally enveloped in his scent. He kissed me on the nose, making me blush fiercely.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" I said trying my best to cover myself up as his penetrating stare seemed be zoning in on my cold chest. "Sorry about this.... I just got up."

The crooked smile that I liked to call 'the panty dropping smile' was full across his face as he ran a hand through his hair.

"B, don't _ever_ say you're sorry for what you wear or don't wear around me." His hands ran up and down my sides as I moaned at the sensations his touch were causing. " Now, if someone else answered the door, I'd be in total beat down mode right now, making sure that douche didn't look at you ever again. If this's what you're wearing to bed, then I think I might have to come by unnaounced more often!" The smile couldn't have gotten any bigger on his face even if he tried. "Spot checks you know." _Yeah, spot checks, right._

He was too cute for his own good, and it was time to have some fun with him.

"Nope, this isn't usually what I wear to bed." His face sunk _probably thinking that I wore granny jammies or something;_ I got up on my tippy toes and whispered in his ear as seductively as I could. "This's covered up compared to what I _usually_ wear." The groan that came from his mouth made my entire body tingle. My _Entire_ body.

"Fuck. Me!" His voice came as only a whisper as he jumped down, grabbed a hold of my waist lifting me up as I wrapped my legs around him, holding us tightly together. He leaned forward to kiss me and I should have known that was where this was headed, but I put a finger up to his mouth to stop him. He gave me a confusing look of _why_ I stopped him.

"Sorry, morning breath! I'll just be a minute." He smiled and nodded releasing his hold me as I ran down the hallway. I heard the fridge open and figured he was searching to see if I had anything to eat. _Wow, he's easily deterred. Food and lovin' I guess were all that were on his mind. In that order too, apparently. _

The poor fool actually thought that I had food in the house. _He really didn't know me too well._ Well, we did for the first week, but that would mean I'd have to drag my lazy ass out and go to the store if I wanted to keep a fully stocked fridge. That would _also_ mean that I would have to borrow Jasper's truck, and load and unload all of the heavy bags. _Man, I really was a whiner wasn't I_? Ok, enough internal conversations.

They seemed to be happening more and more while Edward was around. Hmmm? I Connection maybe?

I ran back to my room, and put on a pair of khaki colored capris and a pink tube top. It was supposed to be close to 100 degrees today and I didn't want to smolder. I ran into the bathroom, washed my face, brushed my teeth and put my hair up in a clip. I put on a bit of make up and sprayed some perfume then went out to the kitchen where Edward was standing over the stove, staring at the brownies, drool basically falling from his pouty lips.

He obviously didn't find any food. Poor fool thinking his woman cooked_._ _His_ woman?

I came up behind him and put my arms around his waist, nuzzling my nose into his back.

"Hey." My hands moved on their own accord as they ventured up and down his chiseled sides. "What's got your attention, sexy?"

"The brownies." He looked like a kid staring through the window at a shiny new truck. " I didn't get any last night. Can I have some now?"

"Are we still taking about the brownies, or are you getting kinky on me?" I was ballsy this morning, apparently. Usually something like that wouldn't have left my mouth.

"Swan, you're gonna to be the death of me, you know that right?" Edward turned around and wrapped his arms around my waist, then kissed my neck just below my ear. "Umm.... how do I answer that question? I want both, but will settle for brownies I guess. And if you keep talking about being kinky, I'm gonna have to go take _another_ cold shower before we go."

"_Another_ cold shower, huh..." _My blue balls theory was right._ "Well let's take these with for you then." I put a cover on the pan, grabbed my purse and was ready to go. "Maybe everyone else will want some too." I winked at him, giving my doe eyes with full force.

"Are we still talking about the brownies? Cuz if we're talking about sharing you, I'm not game. But come to think about it, I'm not willing to share the brownies either." He quickly laughed, then stopped, looking like he may have put his foot in his mouth.

I thought he was funny.

"Good. Because I don't _want_ to be shared. And I'm not willing to share you either, just so you know." I reached up and kissed the corner of his mouth. "And really Edward, you're going to need to work on sharing. Didn't anyone teach you that when you were younger?" He looked at me quizzically. "I meant about the brownies you dirty bastard!" He laughed and rolled his eyes at me. "Get your mind out of the gutter Cullen."

I finished up getting the brownies ready to go as he fidgeted with his phone.

"Will you stay around the shop today, or do you have somewhere you need to be?" He was looking down at his feet. Nervous maybe? _Cute._

"Um, if you want me there, I can stay. Just let me grab my laptop." _Now, where was this guy two weeks ago?_ I would have been at the shop _every_ day if I knew he wanted me there.

Writing I was good at. Guys, not so much.

I would gladly have gone anywhere with him, but being able to watch him work all day was icing on the cake. There was something erotic about watching someone get tattooed.

_OK, I'm kinky, I know it. Can't help it._

"Bella, yes I want you there. I wanted you there the last two weeks to, just to let you know." He leaned down and kissed the side of my throat making me lose my train of thought and why I was confused by his statement. "I was just too much of a pansy to tell you so."

I stared at him for a minute thinking about what we could have already accomplished in the last two weeks and where we _could_ already be. After a few moments, I nodded at him, remembering that we can't change the past at this point, only move forward.

With that, I left a note on the counter letting Jasper know where I was and grabbed my laptop which Edward insisted on carrying for me and headed off to the shop with our hands interlaced swinging between us as we walked. I hadn't been there yet, so I didn't realize how close it was to home. Just a block away. _Very convenient, if I do say so myself._

We stopped at a coffee shop along the way and got some muffins and coffee for when Emmett and Jasper made their presence known. Apparently Emmett had been out drinking as well last night, so I would assume they would need the coffee. Edward opened the shop but didn't have an appointment until 1pm. Jasper rolled in about 11am followed by Emmett. They both seemed excited for breakfast, something I'm sure Edward didn't usually do for them on a regular basis.

Emmett passed by me grabbing a muffin and a cup of coffee, then came back and kissed my cheek before walking to his station. Edward looked up but just smirked at the gesture.

Edward got to work on my s_wan_ design he was planning on doing this morning. Jasper looked at me suspiciously, and I watched as his face fell when he saw that I was letting _Edward_ ink me. I promised that he could do one as well in the near future and that seemed to pacify him.

I myself, still couldn't believe after Jasper had _begged_ me for the last 10 years, I was letting Edward do it after just 2 weeks. _And barely any contact in those two weeks_. What had gotten into me?

Jasper was busy working on a piece for Emmett that he was putting on his back. It seemed to distract him for the time being, and I appreciated not being grilled. I knew he was upset, probably more hurt than anything, but when we were alone later, I would apologize and try to explain myself. Jasper just wanted to see me happy so I didn't think he would hold it against me.

He never held anything against me.

Edward came over to where I was working on the couch with my laptop and sat down next to me, design in hand. It was a beautiful white swan with blue water surrounding it, and a few pieces of grass poking out of the water.

"Edward!" I yelled in excitement. "I love it! Lets do it!" I stood abruptly, pulling him up with me wanting to get it then and now. I had wanted this tattoo for quite a while. Although it was a bit cheesy, it was a way for me to have some kind of Charlie on my body. Edward placed a chaste kiss on my lips and led me over to his station, smiling all the way.

Edward went to work preparing his station, then helped me up on the table. He advised me that I would need to lower my pants below the hipbone. His voice was low as he spoke, it was a bad idea to look up at him. I found the most intense green eyes staring back at me, looking at the zipper of my capris.

_Thank God I shaved or he would really be getting an eyesight._

The lower my pants went, the bigger his eyes got. I caught him staring at my red lace panties and blushed a deep crimson knowing what he was staring at. I heard him clink his tongue ring against his teeth. With that sounds alone, my body tingled with excitement. _Is it possible to have an orgasm from someone jus staring at you?_

When he put the towel in the inside of my panties so that ink wouldn't get on them, I felt his fingers linger above my center a little longer than necessary. My hips buck at the contact involuntarily and I had to remember we were in public, _and in the same room as my over protective best friend that had a needle in his hand._

_Not_ a good combination when you think about where Edward's hand was.

"So do you touch _all_ of your clients like that, E?" I asked joking. "If so, then I should tell you now Cullen that your chances of getting to know me are going to be slim to none."

Edward began to laugh, then ran his hand through those luscious locks of his. "No Swan, I can't help myself with you." He then leaned down and whispered in my ear. "That" he said fingering right above my core along my pant line "is the motherland that I am _dying_ to get to know better. No one else's really holds any interest to me."

I could feel my cheeks blushing, the heat going through my entire body. _If he only knew how badly I wanted him to get to know that region of my body better._

Edward prepared my hip to be inked, sanitizing and shaving the fine hairs off my body, then looked at me for the silent Ok to get started. I nodded in agreement, and he went to work on the outline. Yeah it stung, but it also was erotic to have Edward being the one to permanently mark my body like that.

_Was it a bad thing to be turned on by pain?_

The whole thing took about an hour, and when I was done, he helped me up and walked me to a mirror so I could check out his work. I loved it and stayed there in front of the mirror for several minutes admiring the colorful addition to my pale skin. He stood behind me rubbing soothing circles over my sides. I watched us in the mirror as he leaned forward and kissed the corner of my mouth. Leaning into his chest, his arms around me, we stood there staring at our reflection.

_Damn we looked good together!_

"So what do I owe you?" I was tying my pants back up, trying to make myself presentable.

"Swan, your money is no good here, but nice try." Edward smiled as he continued to watch me finish with my pants. He was paying special attention as the last button was closed. _And if I wasn't mistaken, his face fell a little in the process._

"Well if you're not going to let me pay with money," I said suggestively. "How else can I _repay_ you?"

There went the clinking of the tongue ring again, and I know I heard a low moan from him. I also saw Edward shift his pants ever so slightly.

_Poor guy, at least I can hide my arousal._

Must be rough to be a guy.

"Swan, you aren't playing very nice." Edward's face twisted in torture, or at least what I thought was torture. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead, then whispered in my ear. "You have no idea what you do to me."

I grabbed his package ever so slightly and whispered back. "Oh, I think I have _some_ idea." Edward leaned into my hand and humped me ever so slightly.

_God I hope Emmett and Jasper are busy with something else!_

"If you really want to repay me, you can give me more of last night, and maybe some more brownies too!" His smirk grew larger and larger. I knew _exactly _what he was talking about.

Little did he know that I had plans for giving him more of last night even without him having to ask for it. I leaned in to deepen the kiss when I heard Jasper cough from behind me reminding us that we were in deed not alone.

Alice walked in smiling at our embrace and gave me a wink. She set her things down, went over to Jasper to kiss him good morning, then Emmett and finally Edward. Edward had a client he needed to get ready for, and slapped my ass _hard_ as I walked back to the couch. I giggled and bit down on my bottom lip staring at him trying to will my perverted thoughts away.

"Ok seriously, Bella, you're like my sister. None of that!" Jasper yelled, looking up from his work then looking back down shaking his head. The big burly guy that he was working on was laughing, trying not to get caught.

"Bella Barbie, I'm beginning to look at you like a sister, and I can't watch my brother smacking my sisters ass! There's just something not right about it!" Emmett's burly voice came across the room, a smile across his face leaning back in his chair.

"Sorry guys." Both Edward and I said at the same time smiling at each other. _I felt like a kindergartener that was just told to stop eating the paste._

Alice came over and sat with me on the couch bouncing, unable to sit still. I lowered my eyes from my laptop I was working on as she seemed to want something.

"So Bella, do you have any piercings?" The biggest grin across her little face appeared as she waited for my answer. Edward didn't look up from what he was doing, but had his ear tilted in our direction.

"Uh, my ears?" I said like it was a question. I saw Edward smiling from where he was standing, totally amused by my innocense.

"Bella, we're going to have so much fun!" The little pixie yelled jumping off the couch dragging me by the hand back to the piercing room. All three guys had their jaws dropped as we walked by them.

_Hmm... I could get used to that stare from Edward_. It was fucking sexy as all hell.

What happened next was quite painful, but in the end would be worth it. Alice pierced my right nipple. It hurt like a mofo, but she said she had both of hers done and that it was quite pleasurable in the end.

Alice proceeded to show me hers. Pink barbells with diamonds on them.

Mine was emerald green with a diamond on the end. _Go figure why I picked the color._

When we walked back out 20 minutes later, all eyes were on me. Emmett and Jasper had curious smiles across their faces with thoughts of what happened; Edward's face looked like he was trying to figure out the toughest algabraic equation.

_Hmm... He would just have to wait and see that at a later time._

"We're doing your nose next Bella." Alice said smiling from ear to ear. She wanted to play with Edward a little, and I was game. "But there's no pleasure in _that_ piercing, and it isn't quite as painful as what I just did to you."

The pen Edward had in his mouth dropped to the counter with a loud clank; he stood behind the counter with his jaw open for several seconds eye fucking my body before Alice went over and shut it for him.

"Trying to catch flies, Eddie?" She asked laughing.

Emmett came over and clapped Edward hard on the back whispering something in his ear, which made him grin like a Cheshire cat. Edward shook his head looking back down at his design trying to focus on what he was drawing.

I talked to him about my next tattoo and the symbols he would use. He said that next week would be a good time to do it, after my hip healed. I agreed and was prepared to wait anxiously for it.

If things kept up like this, I would be here every day anyways. And if Alice had her way, I would have something different pierced each day. I don't know if I had that many places on my body that need extra holes. But I guess I would just wait and find out what the little pixie had up her sleeves.

I continued to work on my laptop throughout the day, stealing glances with Edward while he worked on clients. He was quiet as he worked, very diligent; making sure the piece had the best possible outcome. There were several girls that came in as the day went on, all needing tattoo's that were in their hips, inner thighs, above their ass, you get the picture. It was annoying, to say the least. Looking over at Alice, she just gave me a look that said, 'this kind of shit happens all the time, don't worry about it.' Some were gorgeous and others were so so. Of course I notice, and as much as I didn't want to act jealous, a few made me want to tear their hair out.

There was one in particular name Tanya that wanted a tattoo right above her clit; had no problem dropping her pants right in front of all the boys and the clients they were working on. Edward suggested he use the back room for her privacy, but my jealousy flared and I didn't want him in a room alone with that slut. Jasper could sense my disapproval and suggested that Edward do the tattoo out here.

_God Bless you Jazz._

So, he did the flames, _yes I said flames_, leading out of her crotch right there in front of all the guys. No other clients were in the shop by the time her pants dropped. _Thank God._

Although she was pretty, long blonde hair, nice tan, and gigantic yonkers, I don't think any of the guys went for her. Not after thinking about the fire crotch below.

She flirted with _MY_ Edward the entire time. _Yes, I said MY Edward!_

He would smile and shrug it off, probably because he got this kind of attention all the time. I was thankful when two hours later she was done and gone. I noticed she slipped a paper to Edward, but he took his gum out, wrapped it in the paper and threw it away not giving the whore another glance.

_Thank you to whomever was listening to that prayer._

After she was gone, I went over to the counter and stood in front of Edward. He looked back at me with a smirk on his face lifting me up so I was seated on the counter placing his arms around my waist.

"So, _'fire crotch'_ sound like a good name for that hoochie, right?" I tried but failed at holding back my laughter.

Edward laughed along with me kissing below my jawline, his stubble making me squirm as I was a bit ticklish. "Does she really think some guy is gonna want to fuck that shit with flames coming out of her poon?" _Did he really just say poon? Dear Lord._

"Yeah, not so much. I don't think she's going to get very far with that one. And can you imagine 30 years down the road or more when she really regrets _that_ decision? I'm sure there are many that she'll regret, but I would assume this would make the top 20." We both started laughing, Emmett and Jasper joining in.

"Bella Barbie, I'm starving," Emmett whined like a child as Alice yelled _'when are you not starving?'_ I guess that was the new nickname I had picked up. _Could be worse_. "Will you go get me some lunch so I can prep for my next appointment?"

I hopped off the counter and tried to scoot passed Edward, but he wasn't having it, putting his arms around my waist pulling me close to kiss my neck, then tickling me. Edward didn't know how ticklish I was and I was close to peeing my pants.

"Sure Emmett, if this _jerk_ gets his hands off me, I'll go get you some food. Jazz you want anything?" Edward still had me in a tight hold, and I gave up trying to get away. Let him exert more energy, I'll just wait until he gets tired.

"Yeah Bell. I want a cheeseburger, ooh and a chocolate shake. Oh and one of those apple thingy's" _Typical hangover foods._

I took orders from Emmett and Alice and grabbed my purse to leave, when Edward grabbed my hand.

"I don't have a client for another hour or so, mind if I join you?" He gave me the crooked smile I loved that went straight to my crotch.

"You don't ever have to ask." I grabbed his hand and we were out the door.

We walked down to this mom and pop cafe about 3 blocks down the road that Edward knew of and placed our orders. We sat and talked while we waited for our food. Edward got a few weird looks, probably for all the ink he displayed and the piercings, but I thought he was perfect.

_He was MY Edward and I wouldn't have him any other way._

I would be happy for all the looks we got, as long as there was a _WE_ when the staring occured.

We returned with the food and everyone ate when they had time. It felt comfortable being with the group. I found my place easily and for the first time in years was content with letting more than just Jasper into my life.

The rest of the evening passed uneventful with everyone meeting up at our apartment to drink and play cards after the shop closed. Rose met up with us and we decided to get some Guitar Hero going on the Wii. Us girls schooled the boys. I was on vocals, Rose on the drums and little Alice on the guitar_. Lets just say I owe my nights glory to Roxanne and her wonderful lyrics. _The guys started battling hard core and us girls finally backed out letting the boys compete on their own.

Edward insisted on checking on my tattoo every chance he got for the next couple of days pulling my shorts down low on my hip to rub his fingers over it. _I don't know a whole lot about tattoos but I don't think you need to have the artist personally check a tattoo like that so often, if at all. _I played along though, as I wanted his hands on me just as bad as he wanted to touch me. I made sure to wear all of my sexy panties so that he would be pleased with my selections.

The small groans I'd hear let me know that I had good taste and that Victoria's Secret was no longer that.

I couldn't wear a bra for the next couple of days because of my new piercing, the rubbing was just too much to handle. Edward took notice of the bouncing twins, staring at them non-stop when we were together. I was pretty sure that he had figured it out by now, but I didn't say anything to him. I wanted to keep him guessing.

One time, he even got brave enough to lightly rub his thumb across my nipple, but sadly it was the un-pierced one and he didn't get what he wanted.

I went with to the shop every day after the day he did my swan ink, _which was healing nicely_ and I couldn't wait to have his hands on me like that again. I could see why tattoos were addicting. _I was definitely addicted after only one._

I was working on my laptop not distracted at all by the guys in the shop. My second book was starting to take shape, and I honestly think it was because of the move and our new surroundings. I'd been so much more relaxed since we left Chicago. I kept the night I seen James out of my mind and enjoyed the time that I was getting to know Edward. Each day he opened up to me more and more, and I could feel his wall slowly coming down. His birth parents not giving a fuck about him really messed him up. All I wanted was to be able to take the hurt away for him. We talked and talked and just enjoyed each other's company getting to really know one another.

Alice insisted on piercing my nose on Tuesday, placing a small diamond in my left nostril. Edward shook his head when I again came out of the piercing room. This one was visible though so I couldn't torture him at all.

_Bummer for Alice and me. We had so much fun with him the other day._

Rose hung out at the shop with us while she wasn't working and I grew to love her just as much as Emmett. She was a little bitchy at times, but she had character. And the bitchiness wasn't directed at me, mostly at Emmett. _Poor guy._

Edward looked happy, and I felt like our little family was complete. _Yeah, I know it had only been a few weeks, but I quickly fell into step with my new life and friends that were accepting me with open arms._

Edward asked me out on a date on Thursday night which I gladly accepted. He let the guys close the shop and we walked back to our building to get ready. He told me to dress warm, as the September weather was chilly at night. I kissed him on the cheek then went to get ready. He said he would be back in an hour.

Plenty of time to get ready.

I took a quick shower making sure I shaved thoroughly, never knowing how the night might play out. I wrapped myself in a towel and dried my hair then did make-up. I pulled on jeans, and long sleeved light blue shirt. I matched the outfit with a pair of brown Ugg boots and was ready to go.

Edward was at my door right on time, and smirked at me while he held his hand out for me. I locked the door on my way out and stuck my keys in my pocket not taking a purse, as I would most likely just leave it somewhere like I always did.

Edward was dressed in worn blue jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt with the name CULLEN across the back. The sweatshirt had the family crest on the front right side over his chest. _He was sexy as all hell and I knew I would need to control the animal in me if I had any hopes of taking things slow._

We walked outside, a cool breeze sent a chill right through me. It was 8pm and just starting to get dark. The wind was a bit stronger than when we walked home just a bit ago. Edward saw me shiver and pulled his sweatshirt off offering it to me. He was left in a long sleeved white shirt with some art on the front.

_Yeah, keep stripping and we'll see where that gets us._

"Thank you, but you should keep it. You'll get cold." I said. He glared at me, so I put the damn sweatshirt on to make him happy. Really, I wanted nothing more than to put the sweatshirt on, but wanted to play hardball.

He lead me around to the parking garage to a shiny silver Volvo, unlocked it and pulled out a gray sweatshirt.

"So, now I won't get cold." He smirked as he put the sweatshirt over his head. He looked me up and down and a low moan slipped through his mouth. "And you _need _to wear that. I love seeing you in my clothes, especially ones with my name on your back." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the side of my neck. I fell into his chest, overwhelmed with his sex voice and the smell that surrounded me enveloped in his sweatshirt.

_It was heavenly. It was Edward._

"Where exactly are we going E?" I asked as I grabbed his hand and we began walking down the block.

"Well, first I thought we could go get a drink," He said as he lit a cigarette passing it to me, and then lighting his own. "then I thought we could go on a carriage ride in the park."

My eyes lit up as he smiled at my excitement. "Alice told me about the night they went on one and you didn't go. So now it's your turn." I went to kiss his cheek, but he turned his head last second and I ended up kissing him square on the lips. I melted at the touch of his lips on mine. Edward ran his free hand through his hair while shaking his head. A slight blush went across his face. _Probably not something he was used too, I knew I wasn't. _

We stopped for a drink at Eclipse. _Go figure_, then made our way down to the park. Edward found us a waiting carriage and helped me inside. I seen him slip the guy an extra $50 and asked him to take us around another time. Edward and I cuddled and enjoyed one another as the ride went by.

It was beautiful and relaxing, and in all honesty, the first time a guy had taken time to figure me out enough to find something _I _wanted to do on a date. Sure, Jake took me on a few dates here and there, but they weren't anything like this. We went to movies, _ones that he wanted to see_, and he would just try to grope me up the entire time. It felt wrong and uncomfortable.

_Now if Edward wanted to pull a move like that, I wouldn't hesitate._ He was becoming more important to me every day, and I felt myself letting go with him. Something I hadn't done with anyone. Ever. Except with Jasper.

Edward held me close during our ride as I nestled my head into his chest. I could feel his breath on my forehead as he spoke.

"Bella, I wanted to ask you something." He said with a nervous undertone. I looked up at him and nodded for him to go on. "Now that you know me a little better, will you be _MY_ Bella? Officially?"

I continued to stare into his beautiful green eyes as I kissed him on the cheek. "Of course E. I'm yours. As long as you want me."

"As I'm yours." He lifted my chin to place a soft kiss on my lips. "And just so you know, I'm going to want you always. So I hope you're prepared for me and all that comes with me." The last part came out as more of a mumble and I squeezed his hand to know that I was here.

"I want all of you E. You're also stuck with all of me you know." I smiled at him as he did the same. _If he only knew what he was getting himself into._

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He said those words with so much love and compassion; I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with emotion.

I laid my head back on his should as he rubbed my shoulder with soothing circles.

I could get used to this, I thought to myself. Used to a life with Edward.

After our ride was over, Edward got us a cab and we drove down to Time Square. There was some band playing there tonight. We later found that it was up and coming _'Jet Black Stare'_ and stood listening to the music. Edward stood behind me with his arms around my waist in the pocket of his hoodie rubbing over my stomach. We swayed together enjoying the concert.

Edward bought me the CD afterwards at a little stand they had set up even though I insisted I had my own money. He rolled his eyes and kissed my lips lightly. We even got to meet the band, and had them sign my CD.

These guys were awesome, and I could tell they were going to be huge.

We got another cab and headed back to my apartment after the concert was over. It was after midnight by this point and I was exhausted. Alice and Jasper were at her apartment, which meant we had the place to ourselves. Edward and I snuggled on the couch while watching a movie where I fell fast asleep.

I woke in the morning still on the couch with Edward spooning me from behind. I rolled over to look at him and was surprised to see his green eyes open staring at me; a smile playing across his lips.

"Hey you" I murmered to him, placing a kiss on his cheek. He tightened his grip around my waist and leaned in for a kiss. _He didn't seem to mind the morning breath, so I let it go._

"Hey." He replied with that sexy smirk.

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

"Best I ever have." He nuzzled his nose into my neck. "Best for a couch that is. I think it had something to do with you being my pillow that I clung to all night." He squeezed me tighter.

"Mmm" Was all I could say in reply. I rolled over to kiss him, when the door opened and Jasper, Alice, Rose and Emmett came in.

Jasper ran over and jumped on us, landing in between Edward and I making me fall off the couch. I sat on the floor looking up at Edward who was now spooning Jasper and tried hard not to piss myself laughing at the kanoodling that took place.

The rest of the gang joined in and Edward and Jasper turned beat red. Edward pushed Jasper off the couch, making Jasper fall on top of me with a loud thump. This just made me laugh harder as he rolled off of me and Edward helped me to my feet. He glared at me obviously embarrassed, which only made me laugh more.

I finally calmed myself enough to go take a shower so we could leave for the day. Every once in a while, I would get in a giggling fit over the two of the spooning, but I tried to keep it to a minimum so crabby pants didn't get upset.

The next week came and went.

I took a liking to working at the shop. I mostly sat at the counter or the couch working on my laptop, or back in their office for some privacy. Edward and I were officially an item, which Jasper just rolled his eyes at saying we were an _'item'_ quite a long time ago. We continued to spend as much time together as possible and would find new things to talk about daily.

Only one conversation was off limits, and I had to give the guy credit for not bringing it up. Not even once. Edward was such a gentleman, and was taking our relationship slow. Although we both wanted to move forward, we knew that we wanted to make this relationship work, and moving too fast would end in disaster.

We had many heavy make out sessions, but I didn't want him to find my nipple ring until it was fully healed. That meant we were back in high school, Edward taking cold showers on a nightly basis and my extensive buying of batteries.

The poor fool was going to explode one of these days from all of the blue balls I was giving him.

My piercing was healing up nicely and I actually started thinking about getting the other one done. Edward wanted me to tell him what I had pierced, but I rather liked the game we were playing full of suspense. _He was so cute when he pouted._

Alice continued to talk me into piercings, and by the end of the week, I had two new piercings in each ear. _Better than it could have been_. I wasn't even thinking about what else could be pierced on my body still.

But I could think of someone else who had it on their minds.

**A/N: So how do you think their relationship is progressing? A bit of drama in the next chapter. Jasper spills some of the beans of Bella's past.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter is a bit deep. Jasper spills some of the beans about Bella's past. Hope you enjoy! Oh, and don't get too mad at him, he's a good guy!**

**Disclaimer: I own the coffee table my laptop is currently sitting on, oh and my 2002 Ford Focus too. SM owns everything else and is amazing.**

Chapter 6-Jack Daniels and Punched Walls

BPOV

Friday was the day Edward said he would do my next tattoo next. He hadn't asked me about the words yet and I was grateful that he wasn't a nosey bugger.

Jasper nodded in agreement when he realized what I was getting, he understood. No questions asked.

It was now Friday evening and I was ready to get my ink. This tattoo meant a lot to me. It was something for _me _and represented my past and what I wasn't going to _be _anymore. I wasn't the scared little girl that let guys walk all over her to feel loved. I knew what love felt like, and even though Edward and I hadn't gotten to that level of saying it yet, I knew it was there.

I would never let another man treat me that way ever again.

Edward suggested we do my tattoo in the back room so we could have some privacy from everyone else. I agreed. _Some alone time with Edward was too good to pass up. _Over the last week or so, Edward and I spent a lot of time together but never really alone. _Well, that was a lie, we did go out on date night and spent a fare amount of time making out in the back room but I couldn't get enough of him._

We were always with the whole group, which I didn't really mind as I got to know Emmett, Rosalie and Alice even better, but it was Edward that I _really _wanted to get to know. _Get to know ALL of him, if you know what I mean._

I situated myself in his chair with my forehead leaning against the chair rest so he could work on my neck. I put my hair in a high ponytail so it was out of the way and ready for him. Edward was sanitizing the area, getting ready to start, when I felt his hands begin to massage my neck, under my hairline and then down to my shoulder blades. He didn't have his gloves on yet so I knew he wanted to play a little first.

_I was so fine with that idea._

His hands on my neck felt so fucking amazing. I leaned into his touch as a low moan came from me unnanounced. That just encouraged Edward to keep going, which thank heavens he did.

"So, again Cullen, do you take _all _the girls back here to massage before their latest ink?" I asked playfully as his hand stopped all movement.

"No Swan. Only ones that are as beautiful as you, and are _MINE._ And that last bit I can only say about one person." He placed a chaste kiss on my collarbone from behind as his hands moved lower on my back. "And the only beautiful ones would be you. _Just _you."

Before I knew it, Edward was sitting on the table behind me straddling it like I was and massaged my back wrapping his arms around me to rub my stomach from behind. _His hands felt like fire on my skin. So good. So fucking good._

"I don't know what it is about you letting me ink you, but it's such a damn turn on." He whispered in my ear.

_Yup, that about done it. We would need to sanitize the table where I was sitting after this._

He massaged up my stomach and went under my shirt massaging up my sides, rubbing his fingers under my breasts. After a few minutes of this torture, he finally lifted the bra cups up and exposed my breasts. He was finally going to find what Alice had done.

_It only took him a week or so. Not bad._

Edward began massaging my left breast with one hand rubbing just above my clit through my pants with his right. _And oh did it feel good_. He switched and had just cupped my right breast in his hand, when his breathing hitched and he let out the hottest moan I'd ever heard.

"I fucking knew it! I knew you got your tit pierced!" He yelled. "That little pixie said it was your belly button, but I knew you were more of a sex kitten than that!" He kissed my neck and collar bone as I leaned more towards him.

"And do you like my new piercing, Mr. Cullen?" I asked pushing myself into his back realizing just exactly _what _that piercing did to him. He twisted the barbell around in his fingers as he pinched my nipple. _Wow that felt ten times better than when I did it._

Edward grabbed my arms turning my body as fast as he could so I was now facing him, straddling the table in front of him. He pushed me back so I was leaning against the headrest. With my bra still pushed up he sat there and stared at my chest, licking his lips as if there were brownies plastered there.

_Did I mention that my man liked him some brownies?_

Edward took my piercing between his thumb and finger twisting it while he stared into my eyes. His were dark with lust. I cried out in pleasure as he fondled my other breast at the same time. He leaned forward and took the nipple ring in his mouth pulling on it just a little, which made me moan louder that I wanted too. Edward sucked on my nipples one at time, going back and forth making sure to pay them each the same amount of attention. Then he stopped and sat back to stare at me again.

He looked at me like he was the hunter and I was the prey. Rrr.. Is all I had to say to that. _Game on!_

"You're getting the other one done too." He said with finality. Not a question but a demand. "Tonight, when I'm done with your neck. And I'm going to do it for you."

_I wanted to stand and salute him, obeying his every command. _

"Oh, and you do piercings too, Mr. Cullen? Aren't you just a multi talented man now." I wanted to get the other one done, but wanted to see how this one went first.

He nodded his head up and down as I started laughing. The more I laughed the more intense his stare became, probably because my laughing caused my chest to bounce no doubt. _His eyes were glued to the twins as if he'd never seen a pair in his life._ I knew better than that.

I mean come on, look at the man. He pretty much _screams _sex. I have no doubt in my mind he's had his fair of titties to stare at before I came along.

Edward kissed each nipple once more then pulled my bra and shirt to cover me once again, making me wonder what the fuck was going on in that head of his. As fast as he turned on the heat, he turned it off.

Not sure if I was ready for that to be over._ My crotch said the same thing._

I knew that we should just stop and get on with my tattoo, but now I had a pain between my legs that I would surely have to take care of when I got home. _Alone._

_A few times._

_Better stop for batteries on the way._

I leaned in to kiss him before I turned around and strattled the table with my head leaning against the head rest.

Edward did the outline on my neck showing me in the mirror the two symbols that would represent who I am for the rest of my life. It was perfect. I leaned my head down again and Edward got to work.

The sound of his needle made me jump but I was immediately calmed by his hand that was resting on my neck. The first prick hurt but I found that I _welcomed _the pain, knowing the outcome I would be receiving when all was said and done.

"Bella, if you don't want to talk about it right now that's fine," he started. I wasn't sure if I was ready to have this conversation, knowing exactly what he was getting at. "But I really want to know what this tattoo symbolizes." He rubbed his gloved fingers over my neck trying to relax my tense muscles.

I thought about it for a minute realizing that this was eventually going to come out, why not now?

"My past, Edward." I took a deep breath knowing that little bit of an explanation wasn't going to be good enough. " I had two relationships before I met you and neither turned out well for me. Lets just say I was more of a piece of meat or punching bag to those guys than someone to love. I'm ready to put it all behind me and move on. I moved here to start a new chapter in my life and I intend to do so. These symbols will help me do that. I hated what those guys did to me, I still do. How they treated me. And I'm never letting that happen to me again." I caught the few traitor tears that made themselves present before Edward could notice.

I felt his hands clench up and heard what sounded like a growl being released from deep in his chest. He had a right to know_, some of it at least._ If he wanted to have any kind of a relationship with me he needed to know what he was in for and how damaged I really was.

I was broken in more ways than one and if we had any chance of making things work, I knew that he'd eventually be asking these questions and I'd have to answer them. Whether I was ready or not.

Edward was quiet for several moments. I almost started to wonder if he was going to continue. Or if he _could _continue.

I laid some heavy shit on him without giving much detail. I could only imagine what was going through his mind.

I felt him kiss my collarbone, my neck relaxing with his touch. He nodded his head and got started. We made small talk during my session never mentioning what I'd just spilled, but I could tell he was upset and was trying hard to control himself.

After my tattoo was in place, I decided to head home. I figured that my fucked up little statement, my past, may have been a little too much for him to handle right now. He probably needed some space to absorb things. And I needed some space too.

I told Edward that we'd do the piercing another time, which he looked sad about but nodded in agreement. I kissed his cheek and grabbed my stuff. I said good-bye to the guys and made my way home.

I definitely needed a drink, or something.

EPOV

Bella was coming in for her neck tattoo today. As excited as I was to place my art on her again, I was also very curious as to what the symbols stood for.

So I asked.

"...Lets just say I was more of a piece of meat or punching bag to those guys than someone to love. And I'm never going to let that happen again." That was the answer she had given me.

She wasn't telling me the whole story, which made my mind go into overdrive. What had she been through? What wasn't she telling me? _Was it too personal or did she think I couldn't handle it?_

What ever it was, I knew I wouldn't look at her any different. God knows my past was full of skeletons as well. And eventually they were going to make themselves know and we would be in this same place.

_Would she accept me for who I was? Fuck._

I could feel my grip tighten on my tools and I think I growled. Knowing more about this girl was intriguing and hard at the same time. She had a dark past and even though I knew I wouldn't like what I was going to hear, I wanted to know everything about her.

The thought of someone hurting my beautiful Bella made me want to lose my shit.

At first it bothered the fuck out of me how close Jasper was to her. I wondered if there was anything romantic between them. I guess that was a main reason that I kept my distance those first few weeks. But after hearing what she now said, I could understand _why _they were so close. He'd been there for her in more ways than I knew and I found myself becoming grateful that Jasper was in her life. To protect her from what I didn't yet know about. She obviously trusted Jasper. _I needed her to trust me too._

Time I guess, is what it will take for her to trust me with her past. _I guess trust is what was going to take me to spill about my past too._

After the little internal battle that I had with myself I got to work on her ink. We talked a little here and there while I worked, but I never brought up the subject again. I know she thinks I didn't see it, but she was crying when she told me. I didn't want to see my beautiful Bella cry. So I let it drop.

As I continued to work on her art, I found myself grow angrier. Not at Bella_. God not at Bella._ But at the fuckers that thought it was Ok to treat a lady the way she'd been treated.

I silently vowed to myself that if I ever had the chance, I'd get payback for her.

Bella abruptly left after her tattoo was finished. I wanted to pierce her other tit tonight, but nodded when she said we would do it another time. I could tell by the way she wouldn't look at me that she was having an internal battle of her own. This was probably something that she hadn't discussed with many people.

_Not a subject you bring up on a first date or when out for coffee. So I let it go._

I let her leave knowing that if I gave her some time to think about things a little she would let me in.

Even though this wasn't the time to be thinking about this, my dick had been twitching ever since Bella had gone into the piercing room with Alice the first time. I was baffled when I couldn't see what she had pierced, but I let my imagination run wild. I knew that it was her tit she got pierced the other day with Alice. _That little vixen_. I made a mental note to thank my pixie of a sister for the fun I was going to have with it.

OK, I needed to stop thinking with my dick and remember what Bella had told me about.

_Yup, that made me go limp fast._

After Bella left I couldn't control the anger I was feeling about what she told me. I paced the room letting my mind replay over and over what she said. I punched the wall not giving a damn about the blood that was trailing down my hand. I welcomed the pain. The pain was almost the high that I was looking for.

Back in the day, I _welcomed _pain any chance I got.

I had to remember that I wasn't _that _guy anymore and if I went around punching holes in walls I wasn't going to get Bella to trust me. _And I would have Emmett on my ass yet again, and I sure as hell didn't want that._

I looked over at the wall and saw a nice dent about the size of my hand, crimson around the edges from my blood. _Yeah that wasn't going to go un-noticed. Great! Now I was going to have to fix the wall now too._

Alice must have heard, and sooner rather than later, the door swung open, she was standing there with her hands on her hips staring down at my hand.

"What the fuck E?" Alice ran over to me trying to cradle my bloody hand in hers but I didn't want her sympathy. I quickly pulled away from her touch telling her I could take care of it myself. "What happened with you and Bella? You didn't hurt her Edward, did you?"

_How the fuck could Alice think I hurt her?_ That was the last thing I ever thought about doing to my Angel, especially after what I heard tonight.

"Fuck Alice! No I didn't hurt her! She told me what the tattoo I did today meant, and I'm having a hard time dealing with it, ok?" I ran my hand under the water and cleaning it off the best I could. I sat down in a chair and rested my head in my hands. "She's been hurt in the past Alice. By guys. That's all I Know."

Alice nodded in agreement, but didn't pry. "I thought something might have happened. I asked Jazz about their closeness, but he didn't go into to much detail either. Just that he feels the need to protect her."

"I need to talk to him. Maybe he'll let me in so I can help her." I got up and started pacing the little room. "Damnit Allie! The thought of her being hurt just makes me want to, I don't know, kick the shit out of something or someone! I need a fucking drink!"

I reached in the fridge and grabbed the bottle of Jack and took a big swig from the bottle. Alice sat with me for a few minutes rubbing my leg before I bolted up and made my way past her going back into the shop. I downed half the bottle of Jack before dragging my ass out, knowing that if Jasper did tell me anything, I needed padding to get me through. I sat in the chair next to Jasper who'd just finished with his last client of the day and was getting ready to close up. I handed him the bottle and he took a swig, handing it back to me, with no question as to _why _he was drinking with me.

He stared at me with wide eyes. _He knew I knew something._

"What happened to B, Jasper?" I asked looking down at the bottle of Jack.

He was silent for a long time, staring at the floor, then at Alice, and finally at me.

"Bro, it's not my story to tell. If she wants you to know, then she'll tell you." Jasper replied standing up to finish cleaning up his station.

"She said that she was treated like a piece of meat and a punching bag, and would never let it happen again." I took another swig then lit up a cigarette not giving a flying fuck that we were indoors and I really shouldn't have been smoking in here.

I threw the lighter at Jasper. He lit his own cigarette and took a long pull.

Jasper ran his hands over his face then stuck them in his pockets after he put out his cigarette. He was silent for a minute before he sunk into his chair and leaned back closing his eyes.

He stuck his hand out for the bottle of Jack and I willingly gave it up. Alice and Emmett were in earshot trying to look busy but both wanted to know as bad as I did.

"Fuck Cullen." He took another swig from the bottle before handing it back. "I can't believe I'm telling you this. But since she gave a shitty excuse for what happened, I suppose you deserve to know more of the story, before you go punching anything else."

Jasper eyed up my bloody knuckles and gave me a head nod.

"It started when she was 16. Charlie had just been killed," Jasper started to explain. "Her and this loud mouth Lauren went to a college party in Houston, thinking they were hot shit being invited. But seriously, who in their fucking right mind invites 16 year old girls to a party like that?" He took another swig and continued. For as much as we both had downed by this point, we should have been drunk, or at least buzzed, but I'd never felt more sober in all my life. "That was the night she met James."

" James was a tall mofo and she thought he was handsome or some shit, and oh yeah, he was 20. She fell for him immediately and looked at him like he was the best thing in life. Her mother was never around and she craved for someone to love her. I loved Bell. But not the way she needed to be. He gave her a lot of attention and told her she was beautiful. She fell for him hard thinking that he loved her. I tried to tell her what a fool he was, but she didn't want to hear it. She was young and naive and wanted to spend all her time with him. She was living with me after Charlie past away and would tell Mama that she was staying with Lauren on the weekends and drive up to Houston to stay at his apartment. My Mama didn't even think twice about letting her go thinking she needed some _'girl time'_. Bell would say things were going great but never gave too much detail. She would come home stoned and looked tired as all hell...and then the bruises started to appear."

He lit another cigarette and threw me the lighter. I lit one as well and threw the lighter to Emmett, who was now sitting with us listening intently. "She would always shy away from it and say that she fell when she was high. He got her started on drugs and they were her excuse for everything I questioned her on. But when you could literally pick out the long fingers that were wrapped around her arms in blue and purple, I knew there was more going on than she was letting on. The more I pushed her to talk to me about what was going on, the more she pulled away. She started to wear long sleeved shirts in the middle of summer and covering her neck. We used to lie together at night talking, but when I would rub her back, she'd flinch. One night I got enough balls up to peak at her back in the middle of the night while she was sleeping. There, covering her beautiful skin, were the darkest slashes I'd ever seen. I cried for her. _I actually fucking cried_ and am not ashamed to admit it. I didn't even have ask her about them that time, because I already knew." Jasper became tense thinking of the memory that I'm sure haunted him.

Alice came to sit in his lap and rubbed the back of his neck trying to comfort him. Emmett got up and switched the closed sign on and locked the doors before sitting down next to me again. I took another swig from the bottle and handed it back to Jasper who did the same before continuing.

"About 6 months into their relationship, I went up with her for the weekend wanting to see what this fool was about. But more so because I wanted to make sure she was OK. She was reluctant about me being there, but finally agreed knowing that I wasn't going to back down. James apparently didn't know that I was coming and got really pissed. As soon as he seen us walk through his door, he hit her square in the face right in front of me and yelled at her for being a whore. I pulled Bella behind me and got in his face but being 16 and not having the experience he had, I got the shit beaten out of me after the first swing. His friend was there and laughed the whole fucking time like he was enjoying the show in front of him. I grabbed Bell and I got us the hell out of his apartment afraid of what he might do to her if I was unconscious. Bell and I left and drove home in silence. She was mad at me at first for dragging her out of there, saying that it was her fault for bringing me. But I think she was finally starting to see what he really was. She admitted to me that it wasn't the first time James had done something like that and that she didn't want to have to deal with it anymore. But for some fucked up reason, she thought he loved her. He called her for weeks begging for her to talk to him, but I didn't _let _her talk to him."

I bent over letting my elbows rest on my knees as I ran my hand through my hair. "On her 17th birthday, a bunch of us went out to celebrate when James showed up. He begged Bella to talk to him, and she stupidly agreed getting in the car with him and leaving. I will never forgive myself for letting her leave with him." Jasper looked torn up. He was trying to collect his thoughts before he spoke again. I could feel my jaw clenching, my hands tightening around the bottle of Jack.

" She never told me exactly what happened to her that night, but when she came home around 4am, clothes in tatters, face swollen and bloody along with the rest of her body I knew it wasn't good. I wrapped my coat around her exposed body as she fell into my arms. She was such a mess that she couldn't even stand. He'd left her out in the middle of the fucking country without shoes and she'd walked for hours to get home. She didn't want to go to the doctor saying she was too embarrassed. We left that night and spent the next three weeks in a hotel while she healed so that no one knew what happened to her. Mama thought we had snuck away together as boyfriend/girlfriend and grounded me for a month after. It was worth it to take care of her and know that she was safe. We both had to take summer school that year to make up for our absence. Bell cried herself to sleep for months, and all I could do was hold her and tell her it was over and he was gone. Unfortunately I was wrong."

Jasper shook his head as he kissed Alice's shoulder. I felt nauseous with every word he spoke. "He came back for her a few months later. But this time I was ready for him. I never left her alone after that night, so when he came for her, apologizing, saying it would never happen again, I beat him with a baseball bat until a neighbor called the cops. Bella didn't want anyone knowing what had happened, so no charges were pressed against him, but I spent the next month in Juvie, praying every day that she was Ok. He never came back, and as soon as we graduated high school we moved to Chicago so that he couldn't find her."

Everyone was silent for a long time. So silent, that a pin being dropped could be heard.

"Wow," Alice said as she rubbed his cheek. "I don't know what to say Jasper." She hugged him tightly around the neck as he wrapped his arms around her, holding them together in a tight hug.

"That isn't even the end of it." He said. My stomach dropped and I thought I was literally going to be sick. After hearing what he'd just shared about Bella's past, I didn't even know if I wanted to hear anything else. I was pissed and wanted to break something or someone. This James was going to pay for what he'd done to my Bella. I took a few calming breaths knowing that I needed to relax if Jasper was going to continue. He stared at me wanting the Ok to continue. I nodded in his direction and sat back in my chair.

"Bella was in her second year of college when she met Jake. He was Charlie's friend Billy's son and she'd known him when they were younger but hadn't seen him in years. They started off as friends, and she brought him around the apartment. We all began hanging out and I thought he was chill. About 6 months after they started dating, she called me in tears saying that she had fallen and broke her arm. _Bella is clumsy_, so I figured she really had fallen and went to pick her up from Jake's to take her to the ER to get it set. When I got to Jake's, I wondered why he hadn't offered to take her; he just sat there and continued to smoke his bong. Bella played it off as he was too stoned to drive. It ate at me, but again, the more that I mentioned it, the more she pulled away."

" 2 months later, Bella was walking around in a tank top and I seen the bruises on her back. _'I fell again'_ is what she said. _'I drank too much and fell down the stairs'_. I didn't believe it, but she begged me to let it go. I asked her not go over to Jake's alone anymore claiming that I was lonely at home by myself. Really I just wanted to keep any eye on her. She agreed probably to pacify me, but whatever. One night Jake was over, and they were both hammered. He got really upset with her and pushed her into the glass coffee table shattering it below her with his force, the glass cutting deeply into her hands and back. Bella asked me to let it go, but I was done. I promised her she was never going to be hurt again, and I broke my promise. I beat the shit out of him and threw him out. Bella had to have hundreds of stitches after that. I convinced her to talk to a therapist whom she started going to and eventually began to get stronger. She saw herself as weak for so long, but not anymore. Jake had made himself present here and there, but didn't attempt to get near her when I was around. Bella took all of her classes online after that and spent all of her time at the shop with me. Paul and Embry kept an eye on her if I wasn't around. Jake did try to get her a few more times. And that was when I decided I needed a change. After she wrote her book, he followed her to her book signings. I quit working at the shop and took up her manager/body guard position full time. He and James pop up here and there, although the last time was nearly a year ago. We haven't seen either in the past couple of months. I don't think they realized she moved." Jasper looked up at me to see what my reaction was.

" So now you know most of it. If Bell feels comfortable enough, she'll tell you the rest. It really isn't my place. I've probably said too much already. And if you ever wonder why I'm so protective of her, I think you can figure it out now."

Jasper took another swig from the almost empty bottle of Jack and then pushed the bottle hard into my chest. "And Edward man.... if you _ever _lay one finger on her, I won't hold back, and I won't apologize. You got it?"

"Whitlock," I took another swig. "If I ever hurt her, I would _ask _you not to hold back."

"I got your back Whitlock. I'd even help you kick the shit out of my little brother." Emmett said playfully trying to lighten the mood. _Wouldn't be the first time._

"Jasper, when was the last time Bella saw James?" I asked, not really wanting to know, but curiosity was killing me.

"He followed her to a book signing about a year ago when were in St. Louis. Me and another guy kicked him out. I made her promise me that if he ever came near her again, she'd finally let me get a restraining order on the fucker. She agreed." He said looking relieved. "And Jake, well, he comes around every once in a while, but he'd never try anything with me around. And I suppose with either of you." He looked at both Emmett and I as we nodded our heads in agreement.

I ran my hands through my hair thinking about everything he'd said and looked up to see Bella standing in the doorway. She must have used the key that I'd given her.

Her eyes were full of tears. Her face panicked and worried.

I'm not sure how much she heard, but she new we'd been talking about her.

My eyes locked on hers as she looked as if she was about to have a panic attack. I didn't want her to think we were talking about her behind her back, but I had to fucking know and Jasper was willing to give me information that she wasn't.

Bella stared at me through her tear soaked eyes. I would've given anything to know what she was thinking, and prayed that this wouldn't push her away.

**A/N: So what do you think is running through Bella's mind? Is she going to take a step back and regress? **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: See the note at the end of the chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I own the water bottle I'm currently drinking. SM owns everything else.**

Chapter 7: My Best Friend

BPOV

I went home and drank myself stupid. _It sounded like a good idea at the time_.

I didn't want to talk about this right now.

I knew it was going to come out at some point or another but I was hoping for the later.

Memories started to flood my mind the more I drank.

Memories that I hadn't allowed myself to think about in years.

My therapist made me talk about them in my sessions despite the agony they put me through. I felt I had my own way of dealing with my past. She agreed with my idea, and over time I began to heal and grow. The only problem was that every time I dug deeper into my past to move forward, I moved two steps back thinking of the pain that I went through, and the pain that I caused.

_6 years ago..._

"_Jake!" He didn't respond as I stood in front of him with my arms crossed over my chest. "Jake!" I said a little bit louder. He was bombed. He wasn't even listening to me._

_I kicked his leg and his eyes popped open. He glared at me with glossy eyes. Jake reached out for my leg and I quickly moved out of the way._

"_Fuck off Bella!" He yelled as he took another hit on his bong. "Don't ever fucking kick me again, you got it?"_

_Jake had been stoned on the couch for most of the night. I wanted to go out. Do something. All we did lately was sit around his apartment and get stoned. _

_I grabbed his arm trying to pull him up when he took a swing at my face. I ducked out of the way before he made contact. I let his arm drop and backed away knowing that this wasn't going to end well._

"_I said Fuck. Off. Bella!" He screamed as he launched himself on me and wrapped his huge hands around my arms shaking me._

_I could feel his grip tightening as I stood there with my eyes shut. Don't cry Bella. This isn't the time to let him see you cry._

"_Look at me!" He became more aggressive as the second ticked by. I continued to close my eyes. I was scared. Scared of what was to come. "I said fucking look at me!"_

_I looked up at the man I thought I loved. There was no love in his eyes, only hate. He pressed his mouth hard on mine trying to open it to allow his tongue entrance. I stood there like a statue, not wanting the contact. Not when he was like this. I knew this wasn't Jake. He did love me. But not when he was stoned. _

_He grew impatient and pressed me hard against his chest. I could feel his dick against my stomach harden his kisses grew deeper and deeper._

_He cupped my breast too much and I screamed out in pain. He took it as a scream of passion and tightened his hold._

_I tried to pull away but went nowhere. It was a comparison of David in Goliath._

_"Stop it Jake! You're scaring me!" I continued to try and pull away with no luck. He was easily twice my size._

"_Bella stop trying to run when I know you want it." He cupped my sex and pressed his fingers on me through my jeans. I flinched at the contact and tried to back away. "You know you fucking want it!"_

_He wasn't taking no for an answer and began unzipping my jeans. I couldn't have sex with him like this. It would hurt. I knew that pain. He didn't know when enough was enough when he was like this._

_He removed his hands from me to unzip his own pants. I found my window and took it. I pushed away when I had the chance and ran for the door. He grabbed me as I was half way through and slammed it shut on my arm. _

_I heard the sickening sound of the bone crack. I felt the pain shoot through my arm. He didn't care. He had his eye on the prize._

_My pants fell to the floor as he pulled them off of me and there was nothing I could do. _

_*******_

_When it was over, Jake passed out. All I could think was Thank God he passed out!_

_I took the opportunity to clean myself up and catch my breath before calling Jazz. He answered on the first ring. _

_I told him about my arm. He screamed into the phone, just like I knew he would._

"_I fell. You know how clumsy I am." I tried to laugh it off. He would be here in a few minutes and I had to compose myself. _

_I slowly got dressed and ignored my throbbing body and arm, which was now twice the size it usually was. Jazz would never stop if he really knew everything that had happened in the last 20 minutes._

_This wasn't Jake. He was just stoned. _

_He would never intentionally hurt me._

I shut my journal and laughed at that last thought.

God Damn I was stupid!

I drank the last bottle of beer that I had and realized I was out of alcohol.

_Thinking of my past was going to turn me into a drunk._

I went for my smokes and realized they too, were empty.

I paced around my apartment unsure of what to do next.

I decided that I didn't want to be alone anymore. If Edward wanted to be with me, he had to know all of me.

_I knew I had to put my big girl pants on at some point in my life and hold my head high._

I took a few deep breaths trying to convince myself that I could do this.

That I actually _could _do this.

After my inner battle was suppressed, I made my way out of the apartment.

I walked back over to the shop, pepper spray in hand as it had gotten dark while I was drinking. When I got to the shop, I noticed the shades were down and the door was locked. I used the key Edward had given me, and let myself in. I could hear people talking and froze in the doorway listening.

No one noticed my entrance.

They were talking about me.

Jasper was upset. He was talking about my past.

My personal moments I hadn't told anyone about accept him. And my therapist.

Fuck.

Shit.

I was coming back here to explain things but apparently I was a few minutes too late. _Now what would he think?_

Fuck.

"And Edward man, if you ever lay one finger on her, I won't hold back and I won't apologize, you got it?" Jasper was threatening Edward.

A thousand different thoughts came to mind all at once. I felt my head spinning as I tried to keep my emotions in check. But my mind took over.

Run. Flee. Escape. Bolt.

My feet didn't move. My body frozen as I stood there. My fingers clenching and un-clenching.

I don't want to deal with this, I told myself. They know. Or at least they knew as much as Jasper would tell.

I knew he wouldn't tell all of the gory details.

He wouldn't do that to me. Not even with these guys.

As much as I wanted to hate Jasper in that very moment, I couldn't. He wasn't doing this to be malicious to me. Jasper did love me.

If I was sure of one thing in this world, I was sure of his love.

Edward ran his hands through his hair. His face was distraught. I noticed his knuckles were bloody as my eyes moved up his body to meet his eyes. He was still looking down as I stared at him. The moment he realized that I had been standing there, his body tensed, jaw slacked as if he was going to say something.

I immediately looked away, not wanting to see the look on his face any longer.

Tears fell down my face. _Damn traitor tears_. I wanted to run. Not deal with this shit. But my body wasn't listening to me once again.

I saw the empty bottle of Jack in his hand. His knuckles were bloody and kept clenching, I could tell he was tense and trying to keep himself in check.

_Could he deal with this? _Maybe this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have come back.

I turned around and tried to get away, tears running down my cheeks. Jasper grabbed me from behind and instinctively I tried to hit him. He held my arms tighter and wrapped me in a hug from behind. He turned me around so I was now facing him and pulled me into a tight hug. I buried my face into his chest as he rubbed my back. I faintly heard him whispering _'I'm sorry'_, over and over in my ear.

Alice stood up and placed her hand on my shoulder and Emmett came over and wrapped his arms around all of us. They all held me like that for a few minutes until I pulled myself together.

I wanted to slap myself for crying like a baby. I think I was more embarrassed than anything that I walked in on their conversation.

Jasper let go when he saw that I had composed myself a little, and grabbed my hand walking me over to his chair. He was about to pull me in his lap, when another hand grabbed me.

Edward hadn't moved from his chair since I came in. I finally made eye contact with him and saw his eyes were wet with tears.

They were also blood shot.

He took my hand and pulled me onto his lap holding me tight as I cuddled into his warm embrace.

He kissed my cheek once, twice, three times.

"I will _never _hurt you, B." He whispered into my ear. I cried again at that statement, knowing that it was true.

Edward rubbed me soothingly across my back and arms never loosening his hold. "I'm sorry we were talking about you, but I had to know. You left me hanging and I couldn't deal with it."

"I understand. That's actually why I came back. I just wasn't expecting to walk in on _that_." I said, then grabbed his bloody hand in mine. "Edward, what the hell happened to your hand?"

Edward looked down and didn't answer for a few moments.

I placed my other hand on his cheek and willed him to look at me.

"I was mad Bella. Furious. After you left I couldn't help it. I was so torn up that someone could treat you the way they did. And now after what Jasper told us," His grip tightened and Jasper shot him a knowing glance that said _'control yourself fucker'_. Edward loosened his grip slightly but didn't let me go. "I'm sorry Bella. But the thought of the pain you've been through is/was making me insane."

"I know E, but you gotta let it go." I said running my hand through his hair. I got my emotions in check before I continued. "If you want this, us, to work you need to know what you're dealing with. Me. I'm broken, and I've been through a lot. But I'm strong. I'm not that girl anymore. And I trust you. _Jasper _trusts you."

I looked over at Jasper and gave him a weak smile. I had to let him know that I wasn't mad at him. I looked back at Edward who sat with his eyes closed. A single tear made its way down his cheek and I reached out to wipe it away.

Edward placed a chaste kiss on my lips and leaned his forehead against mine. "Bella, I'm so sorry for those assholes who ever laid a hand on you. I will protect you, and you'll never be hurt again."

Emmett placed his hand on my back warmly. "Bella, none of us will let you get hurt. We love you."

"Thanks guys. I love you all too." I said with a half smile looking down at Edward's bloody hand. I swallowed the knot in my throat and focused on not crying.

This was a little much to deal with and I had to get the attention off of me. "OK, enough about me. Anyone ready for a drink or smoke? I know I could go for one." _Or five..._

Alice grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek as she pulled me towards the door. I grabbed the lighter out of Edward's pocket and he passed me a cigarette. The smooth taste of nicotine was just what I needed.

The guys all trailed behind us as we made our way out the door. Emmett called Rose and we walked past the apartment to pick her up. We headed over to Eclipse where we sat at the bar and took turns buying rounds.

Alice and I were going shot for shot until I finally called uncle. _The little pixie sure could hold her liquor._

Edward's eyes never left me, he kept me close to him the entire night.

I felt as if part of the weight had been lifted with what Jasper had shared. Edward knew, well mostly knew about my past, as well as the rest of them. And I didn't feel like there was much more to hide. _Other than the fact that James was indeed in the city and stared at me through a window. But maybe I was just over reacting._

Jasper took me aside and briefed me on what he'd told them. I nodded not making eye contact. They knew the jist of it. Of course they didn't know everything. It was too painful for them to know. Someday, maybe, I would be brave enough with the rest.

Edward and I danced and held each other through the night. He sang to me and I relaxed into his touch. I realized in that moment that although Edward was torn up about what he had found out, he wasn't going anywhere. He was still here. Holding me. Comforting me.

Nothing more was sad about what he found out. Now wasn't the time.

At closing, we all walked home. _Well more like stumbled, but we made it home._

We said our good nights and Jasper and I headed down to our apartment.

I could tell that Edward didn't want to leave me, and I didn't want to leave him. But we had only been together for a few weeks, and I was trying to take it slow.

_This slow shit wasn't going to last much longer, but I was trying._

And tonight was not the night for us to further our relationship. Tonight I needed to get my head back on track.

As Edward kissed me goodnight, I knew things were going to be ok. He understood that I needed this time with Jazz to figure my head out. We agreed to talk in the morning. We would be fine.

"Bella," Jasper said, leaning against the bathroom door while I brushed my teeth. He was standing in his boxers leaning more against the door for support than necessary.

" Please don't be mad at me for telling them. I didn't tell them everything, but Cullen, he was so messed up after you left and had a right to know. And Emmett and Alice love you."

I rinsed my mouth drying it off then leaped into Jasper's arms. He pulled me into a bone-crushing hug and held me there for several minutes. "I'm not mad at you Jazz. It's ok, they're our friends, and that's actually why I was coming back anyways. I must say that I was a little shocked though. Especially since I walked in on you ready to beat Edwards ass, but he had a right to know. And I'll fill him in later about the rest." Jasper looked at my eyes as if I was lying. "I will!"

Jasper hugged me tighter as we stood there in each other's arms.

"Bell." His voice was shaky. "It was so hard to tell them about your past but at the same time it felt good. It's eaten me up inside for years, not being able to talk to anyone about it. Would it be wrong to say that I actually felt relieved to finally talk to someone?"

"Of course not Jazz. I knew you should've gone to counseling with me. I never realized how much it affected you though." I stared into his eyes, which were now filled with tears.

"How much it affected me Bell?" He actually looked pissed. "You didn't realize how much the last 9 years have affected me?"

I was crying now with him. Jasper had never really talked about this before.

"Bell? Do you know what it was like watching you go week after week to stay with James while I knew that he was beating the shit out of you every chance he got? And when you would come home you would say it was nothing? Do you want to even know what was going through my head all those months that you were with him?" I wiped away the tears that had fallen on his cheeks.

"I'm sorry Jazz. I can't imagine how that must have been for you. I was so selfish to put you through all of that. I'm sorry. I only thought about myself and how much I needed you." I cried into his chest. I was a selfish bastard for making him go through all of that with me.

He rubbed my back soothingly. "That's not what I meant Bell. I was never mad at you. Well, the only reason I was mad was because you were so fucking stubborn. You refused to let me in, even when you were hurting. Every time I would try to talk to you about anything, you would pull away. It got to the point that I didn't even push anymore. I didn't want you to pull away so much that I pushed you into his arms."

"God, what did I do to you Jazz? For so long, all I cared about was trying to heal myself. You were always there. Supporting me. Making sure that I felt loved and was safe." I looked into his eyes as I spoke. "But what kind of a friend was I to you? I allowed myself to go through all of that torture and expected you to just stand by me. I was so fucking stupid Jazz. So fucking stupid!"

"Bell. I am going to say this once. And only once. You were and still are the best fucking friend I could have ever asked for. You're my sister for all intended purposes. My other half. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be right now. I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't be here."

"But if it weren't for me, you would've been able to have a normal life. The life you lived with me was anything but normal." I pushed away from him, but he only held me tighter.

"I wouldn't take it back for a second. I beat myself up every day for letting you get in that car with the fucker, but I know now that I can't change the past. We grew together Bell. I won't ever forgive myself for letting you get hurt, but I know that it's over now. It's behind us and I have to move on." Jasper sniffled back another round of tears.

If he only knew that it wasn't over. James was here. In the city. And it wasn't over. Deep down I knew that it was _never _going to be over.

With that we both went to bed. I was emotionally drained. I asked Jasper to cuddle with me for a while because I needed him.

I needed him just like I used too. He agreed and held me in his arms until I started to drift off.

_9 years ago..._

"_Jazz.... you gotta let me go. I love James. He loves me. I fell. I'm clumsy and I fell!" I pointed to the newest bruises on my arms. _

_From the way that Jazz looked at me, I knew he didn't believe me._

"_Fucking Christ Bell. You didn't fucking fall!" He grabbed my arm directly over the bruises and matched his fingers along them. "Why do you let him do this to you? Why?"_

"_It was my fault Jazz. I asked for it. I should have just shut my mouth like he told me too. We both know I don't shut my mouth when I should." I was trying to hold back the traitor tears, but they betrayed me._

_Jazz pulled me into a tight hug as I cried on his shoulder._

"_You didn't deserve this sweetheart. You don't ever deserve to be hurt. If he really loved you like you think, he wouldn't have ever touched you in the first place."_

_I knew Jazz was right. But deep down I thought James loved me. He told me all the time. It was usually while he was unzipping my jeans or hiking up my skirt, but I believed it nonetheless._

"_I gotta go Jazz. He's expecting me in an hour. I gotta go, or he's gonna be mad." I knew what was coming, but I couldn't help my compulsiveness to please James. He would make me 'pay' if I didn't get there when I said I would. _

_I started to walk away towards my car when Jazz grabbed my hand to pull me back._

"_Let me come with you Bell. Please. Let me come. I can't let you go alone. Not after all of this." He said pointing to my arms._

"_N-No Jazz! You can't come! He won't be happy that you'll be there! You can't Jazz. You just can't!" Please Jazz, I thought, you gotta let this go. If you know what's good for me, you'll let me go._

"_I'm tired of this Bell. Enough is enough. I'm going with you whether you like it or not." He grabbed my keys and got in the drivers seat of my car._

_We made out way to Houston. My stomach churned the entire time we drove. _

_I knew what was coming, and I knew what James would think. _

_I told him about where I lived due to my dad passing away. He had called me a whore on more than one occasion, but I shrugged it off knowing that it wasn't true. _

_As we walked up to the apartment I felt myself getting sicker by the second. _

_There on the other side of the door was James. _

_He glared at me. I knew that look. Nothing good ever came from that look. _

_I felt myself start to shake and was scared. _

_Scared not only for myself but also for my best friend standing beside me. _

I awoke from my nightmare screaming. Jasper, who was still lying next to me, wrapped me in his arms trying to comfort me. The more I remembered about my nightmare, the more I realized it wasn't a nightmare. It was real. It really did happen. And my mind woke me up before I could think about the rest.

After taking in deep breaths, I was able to relax back into Jasper's arms. The safe arms that had held me like this so many times before. He kissed my head as I started to relax.

I thought about the new symbols on my neck and what they meant to me, and my future.

Never again would I allow a man to hurt me. Nor would I feel bad for not being enough.

I was enough, and I would be loved.

I slowly drifted off again not having any further nightmares.

I was enough.

I was strong.

**A/N: So...what do ya'll think? Bella doesn't hate Jasper. How could she? He was only trying to help. What a good friend.**

**I would like to try a little experiment, and if you could help me out, I'd really appreciate it. My story has gotten almost 2,000 hits in the 9 days it's been out which is so awesome, but not very many reviews. **

**So, if everyone that checks out this chapter could hit the review button for me, even if you want to just say hi, I'd really appreciate it! My reviews make me smile and feel loved! **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This chapter is lemony just so you are warned. Although I think we all like the lemons, so maybe it is more of a warning that excitement is coming!**

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed. Your comments make me smile!!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns everything Twilight. I own two cats.**

Chapter 8: Lips of an Angel

The next few days went by like usual, or what I was finding out to be usual. No one talked about my breakdown, which I was internally grateful for. It was now out in the open, and I hadn't scared anyone away.

Yet.

I spent most of my time at the shop when I wasn't meeting with my editor to go over the details of my schedule and projects that I was currently working on. Angela wanted me to do some extra work on another project I had going, which I made very clear wouldn't be happening until I got back. I'm not super woman!

I was leaving on Thursday for a book signing in L.A., and had a lot of prepping to do beforehand. This would be the last one for quite a while and was thankful for that. I was ready to settle down a bit after the last few years. And the idea of being away from Edward was not fathomable because I was a lovesick fool.

Jasper wanted to go with me on the trip, but instead I thought it would be a good chance for Alice and I to spend some time together. When I asked her to go, she all but tackled me to the ground in excitement. It just so happened that Rose was going to L.A. for a photo shoot as well, so we decided to make a girls weekend out of it. Her modeling agency was putting her up in a suite that was big enough for the three of us, and also providing a driver for the entire trip.

It pays to know a model.

Of course, none of the guys were happy with the three of us going without them, but we had power in numbers on our side. I believe Rose threatened no sex for a week or something ridiculous and convinced Edward and Jasper that we'd be fine to go on our own.I _loved_ Emmett. Reluctantly, they gave in. They didn't really have a choice in the matter to begin with, but if it makes them feel better to let them _think _they were _letting _us go, whatever. I don't know what they were worried about.

_Well, other than the fact that they are now aware of my past and that I am prone to attracting bad company_.

But the three of us could hold our own, and it's not like we were going out on the prowl for new guys or anything.

Edward, Emmett and Jasper were going to have some kind of "guy weekend", play paintball, smoke cigars, and get piss ass drunk_. _If you ask me, they did the same shit when the girls were there, so I don't really know how you could call it _guy_ time. Add in a little Alice, Rose and Bella and you get our daily life.

I never told Jasper about the day I saw James, or _thought _I saw James, outside of the coffee shop. If he'd known, he would've never agreed to this trip. He would've gone off just like I thought and I figured there was no reason to get him worked up over nothing.

Although I was scared shitless that he was in the city, I wasn't going to acknowledge it, in fear of putting myself over the edge.

And then there was Edward. He had a hard time keeping a handle on things after finding out about the bits and pieces he knew of my past. If he knew James was here, I don't even want to think about what would happen.

Edward in jail?

Edward beaten to a pulp?

Edward was strong, but so was James. I wasn't sure who would win if it came to a fight, which knowing Edward, it would. And I wasn't willing to find out at this time.

Edward and I were growing closer every day. All of our time was spent together. When we weren't at the shop we were hanging out at Eclipse, or one of our apartments. Our relationship was progressing nicely, and I knew I wanted to take things to the next level.

He was ready for it too. His poor man down below was standing at attention the majority of the time we were together, and seriously, that's gotto be uncomfortable after a while.

I swear, if there was an award for how many times you could give a guy blue balls in a week, my name would be labeled in gold.

_'And the award goes to....'_

Edward had even given me a new nickname that I melted over. He called me _'B'_. I loved that only he called me that, just like Jazz and Mama Whitlock were the only people that called me _'Bell'._

Edward and I talked the next morning after my meltdown. Not once did he bring the subject up again, or question me on why he couldn't stay with me that night. He knew the answers to his questions and didn't push or pry.

He was so good to me. Sometimes I thought better than I deserved. But I knew better now. And I _did_ deserve Edward.

Wednesday, Alice decided that we needed to go shopping for our upcoming trip. We spent five hours going through rack after rack of clothing, trying to find the right outfit for my book signing.

Alice also decided, after going through my underwear drawer one night when I was at Edward's watching a movie, that I could use some help in that department.

The little hussy actually had the audacity to go through my personables!

I let her drag me into a few lingerie stores, and by the time we were done I had all new matching bra and panty sets. She, of course, wanted to pick a few things out for Jasper, which I didn't want to even think about. But whatever makes them happy I guess.

I secretly wanted to get a few things for Edward, but our relationship had not progressed to _that_ level yet. Sure there were a few heavy make out sessions and heavy petting, but no sex yet.

Believe me when I say that sex with Edward was on my mind every second of the day.

_Every_second of the day.

But, we were taking things slow. Well, as slow as we could. The sexual tension was beginning to peak.

And the fires were getting harder to put out, if you know what I mean.

I found myself daydreaming about him constantly. The way his brow furrowed when he was hard at work, the clinking of his tongue ring on his teeth when he was deep in thought, or nervous. His sex hair that I ran my hands through every chance I got. His bare tattooed chest with his nipple rings. They _screamed_ at me to twist them. His muscular arms and his six pack abs. _Ungh...._

I found myself constantly buying more AA batteries to get me through the day…and night.

We were walking to our next destination when I ran smack dab into a guy walking in the other direction. My Edward induced haze was even messing with my sight apparently. I apologized as I kept looking ahead. I was embarrassed enough that I ran into someone while dream fucking my boyfriend's hot body that I couldn't look at the man.

_People like me should not be allowed to walk in public!_

"He's cute Bella!" Alice whispered in my ear as she looked over her shoulder at the guy I ran into.

I grabbed her arm to make her keep walking forward as I didn't need to cause anymore attention than there already was to us, but she stopped me. The little she-devil wasn't budging.

I looked over my shoulder to glance at the direction she was looking at. The guy I had run into had his back to us, and from the back he didn't look half bad. Nice build, tight ass, muscular back...and then he turned around and I saw his face.

Those same eyes from the coffee shop window pierced into mine. He glared at me with a menacing smile across his face. My stomach immediately dropped and I felt the need to vomit.

We needed to move and we needed to move _now._

"N-not my type Tink. Let's go." I grabbed her arm tightly and pushed us along.

_Please trust me on this, just this once._

"What's your problem?" she yelled as she removed my arm from hers.

_Well, my problem would consist of the guy that you think is 'cute' but in reality haunted my nightly dreams because of the years of torture he put me through._

I needed to act cool so she didn't suspect anything. The last thing I needed was for her to freak out. And then Jasper would find out, and we would never be going on this trip.

I gave her a half smile. "Sorry. You've had me shopping all fucking day and I'm a little crabby I guess. I just want to get this over with already!"

_Yeah, use Bitchy Bella, that works every time._

She rolled her eyes and let it drop. _Thank you God!_ Her attention was brought to the next store where she pulled me in so we could try on sunglasses. The girl already had twenty pairs, but hell, why not a few more.

I watched my surroundings, but tried to look interested in the sunglasses. I kept looking up and after twenty minutes realized that he was gone.

We finished up shopping and met with Rose for a few last minute things then headed to the shop where Jasper, Emmett and Edward were. When we walked in, Jasper was working on a client. I put the thoughts of James in the back of my mind not wanting them to ruin my time with Edward now, or my weekend with the girls.

I asked where Edward was and was told that he was in the private room working on inventory. Alice went back to the office to finish up some files before we left and I made my way to the back room. I snuck in behind Edward and threw myself onto the couch that was in there. I dramatically laid my arm over my forehead and let out a low groan. I was dead tired from shopping with Alice all day.

And seeing James was wearing on me just a little too.

Edward put down the tool he was cleaning and came to lay beside me on the couch. He wrapped his arms around my waist as he laid a sloppy kiss on my lips. He looked around and saw all the bags that I'd been carrying and looked curious.

One bag in particular caught his attention. I knew_ exactly _what he was looking at.

"What's in the bags, B?" Edward asked with a sexy grin as he peppered my collarbone with wet kisses.

"Alice thought I needed some new panties," I said nonchalantly as I rolled myself off the couch and stood in front of him. "What do you think?"

_Yeah taking things slow is NOT working. I need to spice things up a little._

I pulled down my jeans just a bit so he could see the hem of the purple silk I was wearing. He sat up and tried to touch them, but I backed up. He grunted in frustration so I moved in closer.

_I like the grunting..._

He unzipped my jeans further and stuck his finger in the belt loop pulling them down a bit staring at my crotch.

"I think these are hot, B," he said smirking, running the tips of his fingers over the hem. "But I would be interested in knowing what's in the bag too. Just for good measure."

_J__ust for good measure my ass!_

"Well, apparently Tink was snooping through my drawers and didn't think that my panties were suitable," I said teasing him.

He let out a low moan and darted for the bag. I slapped his hand away and pushed him back into the couch. I picked up one of the bags and sat, straddling his lap…. and I _might_ have humped his crotch in the process. His arms wrapped around my waist as he grabbed my ass. _Hard_. I pulled out a pair of navy blue panties and threw them at his chest. He picked them up with a smirk across his face and brought them to his nose, inhaling them as his eyes shut.

I leaned in kissing the side of his neck and whispered in his ear, "Aren't you supposed to that _after_ you take them off of me, baby?"

He dropped the panties and wrapped his arms around me grabbing my ass once again. He nuzzled into the crook of my neck kissing and sucking on the exposed flesh. I let out a low moan, which only made him suck harder. After a few seconds, I pushed his face back so that I wouldn't have a hickey for my book signing.

Not that I didn't _want _him to continue, but knew that it would look unprofessional.

He looked at me and nodded in understanding. I grabbed his head and pulled it toward my face, taking his bottom lip in between mine. He opened his mouth allowing me access that I gladly took, our tongues colliding, both of us moaning at the taste of mint and nicotine. His tongue battled with mine for dominance before he started to push my hips down into his hardness. _Dear Lord what the fuck is in his pants? Steel? _I moaned in pleasure once again as I pushed back.

"Edward, we can't do this in here." I didn't really _want _to stop, but also didn't want to make an ass out myself. I was a moaner, and I knew it wouldn't go un-noticed. "You have customers out there and they might here us. And Jasper and Alice!" I know I didn't sound to convincing seeing that I ground my center into his semi over and over, but I had to try.

He pulled me off his lap and stood me up with him as he went to the door, giving me a cocky smile as he turned the lock. Then he went over and turned on his iPod so the music was blaring through the speakers.

He smiled at me once again with the cocky smile I loved, knowing that I didn't have anything else that could stop him now. _Not that I wanted him to stop in the first place..._

Hinder was playing and I wanted him to sing to me again. As if he didn't turn me on enough just by existing, that voice of his went right to the spot between my legs that burned for his attention.

Edward came over to me again and grabbed my ass with both hands lifting me as I wrapped my legs around his waist. His lips moved along mine, then down my neck and across my chest. I felt the heat spread across my body with each touch, wanting so much more.

"Sing to me E?" I moaned, silently begging him with my eyes. He smiled and kissed my neck right below my ear as he put his lips up to my ear and the sweetest sounds slipped from his lips.

_I can handle all the baggage that you're carrying  
You wear me out  
But it's all right now  
Let's go home and get stoned  
We could end up makin' love instead of misery  
Go home and get stoned  
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me  
You wear me out (We could end up makin' love instead of misery)  
But it's alright now  
Lets go home and get stoned  
We could end up makin' love instead of misery  
Go home and get stoned  
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me  
Go home and get stoned  
We could end up makin' love instead of misery  
Go home and get stoned  
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me  
You wear me out  
(We could end up makin' love instead of misery)  
But it's all right now  
(Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me) _

When the song was done, he took my ear lobe in his mouth and sucked it as I twisted his nipple ring through his shirt. This elicited the most beautiful moan from my Angel. I almost melted, knowing that he had the same thing on his mind as I did. He leaned me up against the wall and I immediately felt his hardness pressing against my core, _right_ where I wanted it.

I needed some friction. I had to have something. _Anything_.

My blue ball award is being handed off to some other poor fool._ Now._

_Right _now_._

My hips bucked into his as his hands went across my back and over my bra. I lifted my arms, giving him the okay to take off my shirt. He stopped kissing me and I immediately missed his contact_._ I think I even whimpered. He whipped my shirt off and threw it on the couch. His eyes were stuck on my dark purple bra. I watched as he licked his lips, his barbell making itself present.

_Oh, the things I wanted that tongue to do._

He kissed my barbell that was pressing through my bra while he kneaded my other breast with his spare hand.

He reached back and unclasped my bra, slipping it off my arms as I tightened my legs around his waist. I couldn't get close enough to him but sure as hell was willing to try. He stared at my piercing once again, and then took it in his mouth sucking on it gently. I arched my back at the feeling that was flowing through my body. It was heavenly to have his mouth on _any _part of me. The heat was making its way south as I ground my core harder into his manhood.

_So much better than my vibrator._

"B?" His lust filled eyes stared into mine as he played with my piercing. "Can I pierce the other one?" Edward asked as he twisted my barbell.

I ran my hands through his hair as I watched his eyes roll back. "Sure baby. Whatever you want."

"Right now," he said with urgency. It wasn't a question. It was a demand.

"I said whatever you want, E." He took my breast into his mouth and rolled his tongue over my hardened nipple. I moaned at the contact, unable to control the volume my voice was coming out at.

"And I want to pierce this too," he said as his hand made its way down to my core, staring deep into my eyes. They were no longer green but black with lust.

_MotherofGodinallthatsholy!_

"Again, I said what ever you want E, but... can we do that when I get back? I don't want to be in pain all weekend. Do my tit now, but... I don't think you'll be able to match the barbells."

He smiled and placed a chaste kiss on my lips as he reached into his pocket and held out a little bag with a matching green barbell. "I've been thinking about piercing the other one for a while."

I smirked at him and his dirty mind.

_God_ _how I love that dirty mind of his. And you have to give the man credit for thinking ahead._

Edward set me up on the table and gently pushed me back as he stared at my naked chest. He put on a pair of gloves and got his tool ready. He sat and hovered over me sucking on my nipple before sanitizing the area. He then proceeded to pierce it, which hurt like a bitch but was so erotic knowing that it was Edward's hands on my body. _Now if those hands would go just a little lower…_

When Edward meant that he wanted to do the piercing now, he really meant _now_.

When he was done, he threw his gloves away and lifted me up bridal style, throwing me on the couch as I giggled at his playfulness. He placed kisses all down my chest and stomach ending just above my pants which were still unzipped from before. Edward looked up at me for the okay, which I nodded to, and pulled them off adding to the pile of discarded clothes. He kneeled on the couch in between my legs staring at my crotch. He slid his fingers over my entrance, making me wetter than I already was, which I _know _he felt through the thin fabric. He groaned at the contact as I bucked my hips into his touch.

He pulled the purple silk off my hips and brought them to his face to smell. His eyes rolled back in his head as he moaned again. I blushed as he stuck my panties in his pocket.

_Thank God I'm an avid crotch cleaner, or I would be just a little embarrassed. _

His eyes grew large as he stared at my naked body, and let out the sexiest growl I've ever heard. _Yup, he growled_. And it only turned me on further if that was possible.

"B...." He started, barely able to control his voice. "You're bare. I knew it! I mean I thought you were, but…Fuck. Me."

_Soon, E. Soon. _I thought as he said those last words.

I couldn't help but groan at the way he took my body in. It was like a kid at Christmas that got the latest version of Mario Brothers or some shit like that. I laughed and ran my hands down his chest.

"I thought you would have gotten a good look from all those times that you had to _'check'_ my tattoo. Come on E, I knew what you were doing." I ran my hands up his muscular arms.

_Not that I minded, but come on, did you really think I was that clueless?_

"Yeah, but fuck. I mean, I love it, but why?" he asked, waiting for my answer.

I reached out for him and pulled him against my bare chest and whispered in his ear. "Because I like to feel how smooth my pussy is when I'm down there."

Edward attacked me with kisses, his tongue demanding entrance to my mouth, which I willingly gave. Edward's hands were everywhere, well everywhere but my new piercing, as he knew that area was tender.

"B. I want to taste you. I bet you taste so fucking good." His eyes were pleading as the drool was practically falling from his open mouth.

_Do you want me to grab you a paper towel to mop up the pool?_

"As long as I get to taste you, E." His eyes couldn't have been bigger in that moment. I'd wanted to go down on him since the night I met him, and was finally going to get my chance_._

He moved his body slowly down mine kissing as he went. He kissed the insides of my thighs before tracing my slit with his long fingers. He slid one finger in, both of us groaned at the contact.

_Fuck me six ways from Sunday, that felt so damn fucking awesome!_

"You are so fucking tight, B. And wet. I feel like an animal thinking about the things I want to do to you and your fuckhot body." He stared down at my entrance and watched his finger slide in and out faster and faster with each movement. He then added another finger, and began moving deeper in me. He kept his eyes on me as he lowered his head to my clit and pulled out his long tongue, circling my swollen nub with his piercing. I bucked my hips in response letting out a few groans of my own at the sensation.

My vibrator was_ so_ going in the trash now that Edward's tongue and fingers had arrived in my life.

His tongue ring circled my clit over and over again as I felt myself losing all sense of reality.

"Holy Shiitt E!" I moaned over and over again as my hand moved up my chest, pinching my hardened nipple while my other arm lay propped behind my head.

He watched as I played with myself, working his fingers harder and faster as my hips bucked against him wanting more, always wanting more.

He continued massaging my clit with his tongue ring while his fingers worked me until I felt the pressure in my stomach start to build. I closed my eyes, not giving a damn who heard my moans of pleasure. Edward's free hand came up and cupped my cheek making me open my eyes to stare at him.

"Open your eyes baby. I want your eyes on me when you cum." His voice was dripping with sex, and a few more licks of his tongue I was cumming hard on his hand. Edward's eyes never left mine as I rode out my orgasm. He dipped his tongue into my core, lapping up all my juices greedily. As soon as he was happy, he pulled his fingers to his mouth sucking them clean. He brought them to my mouth to tease me. To his surprise, and my own, I opened my mouth and sucked my taste off of them. His face looked heavenly as he let out a silent _'Fuck. Me'_

"Oh my fucking God, B. I didn't think you would actually do that. You're so fucking awesome. Where have you been all my life?"

_I think you are sadly mistaken, where have YOU been all MY life?_

I laughed at his compliment and at myself. I'd never done anything like that before. But I'd watched my fair share of videos and knew that it made guys go over the edge. _Fast._

I pushed him back so that he was sitting on the couch as I got down on my knees in front of him. He rubbed his hand over his dick, obviously needing the friction.

_Patience my dear friend. Good things come to those who wait. _

I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down for a kiss as I licked his lips with my tongue, still tasting myself on him. He groaned even louder.

"You couldn't turn me on anymore than I already am, B," he said, kissing me again.

_Oh yes I could!_

His eyes looked urgent, needing his own release. I let go of his shirt and moved my hands down to his belt buckle where I undid it as fast as I could, unbuttoning his jeans, then moved for the zipper. His hand stopped mine.

I looked up at him in surprise.

_Uh buddy, by the way your hips are humping my hand, I'm thinking you don't really want me to stop this._

"B you don't have to do this. I mean I want it, God do I fucking _want _it, but you don't have to," he said, but his eyes totally begged me to proceed.

"E. I told you I wanted to taste you. Did _I_ taste good baby?" Another groan.

_Score another for Bella._

"Bella, you tasted so fucking delicious." He ran his fingers over my mouth again, which I greedily sucked. And… _another_ groan from my man. "Didn't you?"

"Uh-huh. Now I want to taste you. I bet you taste just as fucking good." My voice dripped sex, wanting to see and taste Edward more and more as the seconds passed.

He moved his hand and I undid his zipper. He lifted his hips as I pulled his pants and boxers down to his ankles in one move.

I looked down to the massive erection in front of me. And oh dear Lord, I know I just had the best orgasm of my life, but I was wet.

_Again._

The peen was pierced. The choirs from up above sang and the heat was back.

I reached out and twisted it between my fingers while he let out a loud moan.

"I knew it! I'd been wondering about this since the first night we met at Eclipse." My face almost hurt from how fucking hard I was smiling. "Didn't it hurt?"

"Yeah, but the outcome is well worth it. And I bet you'll like it too," he said, running his hand through his hair. He reached down and took his dick in his own hand stroking it from head to the base. I was obviously going too slowly, and he needed to be touched. The sight of him stroking himself was almost more than I could handle. It turned me on like no other.

I felt my hand going for my heated center needing to relieve some of my own friction that he was making. I made him drop his hand and brought his beautiful engorged member to my mouth, licking the bit of precum that was there. I opened my mouth wide and took in as much as I could. _Holy shit batman! _What I couldn't fit, which was a lot as he was_ huge_, I began to stroke fiercely with my hand. The harder I sucked the more he moaned. The more he moaned, the harder I sucked. It was a good system.

His hand was in my hair massaging my scalp, then began to push my head where he wanted it, never breaking our eye contact. I sucked and worked my way up and down his shaft, paying special attention to his piercing, which I realized made him moan louder than anything else I did. And within minutes I felt him start to pulse as he spilled into the back of my throat. I greedily sucked all of him down, and continued sucking his member until he went limp.

I leaned back a little and took in his post-orgasmic face as I licked my lips, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. He stared at me with a relaxed expression then held out his arms for me. I got up and sat in his lap as he wrapped me in a tight hug.

"E?" I said, looking down.

"What is it baby? That was fucking amazing by the way," he said, kissing the top of my head while still trying to catch his breath.

"That was a first for me. I mean I've had sex before. But.... no one's ever done _that_ for me before. I can't put into words what you made me feel like." I lowered my head to rest on his chest so I didn't have to look at him. He pulled me back and placed his hand under my chin forcing me to look at him.

"B, I won't say I'm sorry that you never had _that_ done before, because I'm glad that I've been the only one to do that. But I do feel bad that a guy never put your needs first. The fuckers. You make me so fucking happy, and to know that I can please you like that is so...hot."

He wrapped me into another tight hug and we sat there like that for a while as our breathing slowed.

Then I heard the doorknob twist.

I immediately shot up and grabbed for the pile of clothes. The door was locked so I knew no one could get in, but we obviously were caught. That much was obvious when Emmett started pounding on the door.

"Bella Barbie, I know you're in there. I can _HEAR _you!" Emmett chuckled.

"Fuck off, Emmett!" Edward yelled. He handed me my pants which I slid on quickly, then grabbed my bra and my shirt. I ran my hands through my hair and decided I was too hot and put it up in a ponytail. Edward ran his hand over the back of my neck where my tattoo sat and massaged the area.

"Hey E? Can I have my panties back? Or are you making me go commando?" I asked with a sexy smirk.

He patted the pocket they were in and smiled back at me. "Nope. These are mine. They'll be my reminder of you until you're home from Cali."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him.

I knew we had to go out there, but I felt like I was doing the walk of shame. Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a kiss.

"Don't worry about it. I've caught Emmett and Rose, _and _Jasper and Alice more than I would like to admit." He scratched at his head and looked down as he blushed.

Edward unlocked the door and led us out into the shop. No clients were there, but Alice, Jasper, and Emmett sat together with huge grins on their faces.

Jasper was _blushing._

This was new for me. I was no virgin, but I don't think I'd ever been so happy after some play time and sure as hell was not used to an audience.

Emmett stood up and grabbed his pack of smokes handing each of us one, which we eagerly took. Edward pulled out his lighter and lit mine as I took a huge pull and exhaled as I closed my eyes.

"That good, huh B?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"Mmmm," was all I could reply.

"Ugh... Bell, I'm happy for you guys and all, but I'm having a hard time stomaching this all right now." Jasper said. _My poor brother._

"Shut it Jazz. I think they're cute!" Saved by the pixie. "I'm assuming you found the barbell?" Her right eyebrow went up, as the smirk on her face grew wider.

"Seriously Tink. That's your brother!" I said with a look of exaggerate shock. "And yes, I surely did."

_If you want details, I got details for you sister!_

Jasper and Alice rolled their eyes while Emmett slapped his head a look of disgust across his face.

"Bella, with all that moaning, I'd think you were killing chickens in there. Did everything come out okay?" Emmett asked.

Edward shot him a glance saying _'fuck off', _but I wanted to have some fun with him. I dropped Edward's hand and strode over to Emmett, where I leaned up against him close to his ear.

"Everything _came _out quite alright big brother," I said, then stepped back so his eyes met mine and licked my lips.

Edward and Jasper burst out laughing as Emmett's face dropped. Alice grasped me into a tight hug and I groaned in pain as she pushed up against my chest. Alice pulled back.

"Bella are you okay?" she asked looking concerned.

Edward threw me a glance and I shrugged them both away.

I ran my hand over my newly pierced nipple, which made Jasper and Emmett's eyes bug out of their heads. I realized that I had an audience and dropped my hand, blushing the deepest red I had.

"So…that was a bit inappropriate," I said. "Sorry. Forgot I had an audience. Edward decided that I needed to be evened out."

"No no, Bella Barbie. Feel free to be _inappropriate _all you want sweetie," Emmett said staring at my chest.

Edward threw a pen at Emmett that bounced off his head. We all began laughing as his eyes went back up to meet mine.

_Good boy. Right where they belonged._

"Oh, my God Em. You're married to a supermodel for Christ's sake!" I said shaking my head.

Jasper and Edward were again laughing, and Alice rolled her eyes at her big brother.

Alice demanded to see Edward's new art, and took me back in the office. All three of the boys followed, but Alice gave them the evil eye and they stepped back. When Edward realized that Jasper and Emmett had followed to get a glance at his goods, he hit Emmett in the gut and gave Jasper a purple nurple.

Alice approved of Edward's work, and we made our way back out in the shop. Well, after she decided she had to get the details of my moaning session.

The guys decided to close up and we all went to Eclipse for a drink before heading home to pack. Jasper was staying with Alice so they could get a _'proper'_ goodbye in. Edward helped me pack, paying special attention to my new clothing I had acquired. He said that he would take care of packing all my panties and bras. And I saw him pocketing a few of them.

_Little pervert!_

When I was all set, it was nearly midnight. I was tired. Edward was laying on my bed, looking like the sex God he was when I decided to change into a tank top and shorts for bed. Edwards jaw fell and he sprung up. I turned to look at him and smiled.

"Like something you see Cullen?"

"Uh huh." He nodded his head up and down.

"Stay with me tonight?"

"I've been praying for you to ask me that forever," he said as he got off the bed and wrapped his arms around me from behind.

I looked down at his fully clothed body. "You don't sleep in that do you?"

He looked down and blushed. "Boxers actually. But I can run back and grab some shorts or something if you're uncomfortable."

I went for his zipper and started to take off his pants. "E, after what happened this afternoon, what you did to me, I don't think I could ever be uncomfortable around you."

He smiled at that and let me strip him down to his boxers. I stared at his muscular chest and had to wipe the small amount of drool off my chin that seeped out. I jumped into bed and pulled Edward in with me. He kissed me on the lips before pulling me in to spoon with him.

If I had a picture of what heaven would be like, this would be it. Wrapped in the arms of the man that I loved was a high that I never thought I would get to feel.

Yes I loved Edward. I was just too chicken shit to have told him yet.

But I would.

As soon as I got back I would let Edward in on that little secret.

I drifted off into blissful sleep held in the arms of my Angel.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I had fun writing it. Now...all you have to do is hit the little review button and say hi!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Who's ready for sunny California? This chapter has a bit of heavy stuff, you are forwarned. Oh and I couldn't help but add two characters for a brief moment. Hehe...**

**Disclaimer: I own a grill. And the meat on it. SM owns all things Twilight.**

Chapter 9: Californication

The next morning I silently cursed my alarm clock when it went off at the ass crack of dawn. I guess it really wasn't even dawn yet, the fucking sun was still hiding, and in my book, that means so should I. Hiding under my covers with my man, enjoying him in my bed just a little longer.

But I'm Bella Swan, and had no such luck_._

The text I got from Alice reminded me who I was going with and that we were on a 'schedule'.

_Her _schedule, that is.

Edward loaded my luggage while I was in the shower, and I was ready to go within a half hour. We tried to get in a little lovin' time before we had to go, but leave it to Alice to make her presence known and walk in when things were getting good.

_Fucking Pixie!_

The airport was sad to say the least. We kissed like two love struck teenagers saying goodbye. _You'd think that he was being shipped to Iraq and I was never gonna see him or something, the way we were saying good-bye. _As much as I didn't want to leave him, by the look on his face, he was hurting just as bad. I was starting to think he was feeling the same way about me, as I was him. _Could it really be true? I mean, this is me we're talking about here._

Edward held me in a tight hug in the drop off area until someone started honking their horn for him to move his car. I cursed the fucker who made me stop kissing my Edward.

I declared that he was either a prick or wasn't getting any from the wifey at home.

I kissed Edward once more, then grabbed my bags and went to check in giving him once last glance as he and Jasper pulled away in the Volvo.

After passing through security and explaining that no, there was not a _knife _between my tits, and that they were pierced to the male officer, I felt my pant pocket vibrate.

I pulled out my phone to see a text from Edward.

_I'm holding you to your promise when you get home. I have the perfect ring_

_to put in that sweet pussy of yours. Have a safe flight._

_-E_

I blushed internally thinking about my next piercing I would be receiving as a homecoming present. I was so bad to have left Edward for the next three nights with no action especially with everything that went down last night. I could at least let him know what I would be bringing home with me...

_I'll make good on my promise in just a few days. That sweet pussy you_

_speak of is also very... wet at the moment. Only for you, E._

_-B_

Ok, I know that it wasn't the nicest thing to do to him but come on, he can't say something like that and expect me to just say, _'Uh-huh, yup see you in a few days. Have fun with the blue balls, and I'll enjoy my carpal tunnel thinking of you.'_ Right.

My phone vibrated again.

_You're killing me, B. Looks like a cold shower is in order, or _

_maybe I'll pay a visit to lefty. Talk to you soon._

_-E_

I tucked my phone back in my pocket trying to shake the thought of Edward getting himself off and followed Alice to our gate. I was tempted to make a side trip to the bathroom for my own action, but decided against it thinking of how disgusting public bathrooms were.

And I didn't want to get stuck in a compromising situation with the foot tapping thing and all. You never know who's in the stall next to you.

Our flight was uneventful an boring. I went over some notes of things to speak about at my signing tomorrow afternoon and listened to Hinder on my I-Pod, which only made me think of Edward and the back room at the shop. I noticed there was some new music on there as well and would have to thank Edward for stealing my I-Pod.

Alice was online looking for places for us to shop, giggling to herself unable to hide her excitement for a good shopping trip.

_Go figure._

Rose would be meeting us at the airport in LA as she'd left last night for an early shoot this morning. Her next photo shoot happened to be during my signing so she'd be busy all day and Alice decided to work with her while I did my thing.

We landed, collected our luggage and made our way out to the loading area. Rose was there standing next to a shiny black Sedan, a large man with a bald head standing next to her. He took our luggage for us and we made our way into the car. Rose said her Agency provided the car for her time here and we were free to use it as well. It was nice being treated to this kind of life style. Although my book has earned me a good amount of money, my trips were not extravagant.

We took a lot of taxis.

It was early afternoon at this point and we were all starving and ready to catch up on each other, as Rose had been here alone for a day already.

We decided to eat at a cafe near the hotel and midway through our meal we spotted people that even in my wildest dreams I never thought I'd meet. There, sitting at the table across from us were Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. I couldn't help but stare at the two of them as they cozily brushed fingers here and there and leaned in close to one another talking. I had read tabloids about the two dating, but didn't want to read much into the gossip. _But I was so ready to start a little gossip of my own, I mean between Rob and I that is._

Oh and those tabloids, yeah, they presented me some pretty sweet pictures of Mr. Pattinson; gave me some _very_ nice happy time with my vibrator.

We didn't want to bother either of them or invade their privacy, but couldn't help but act like 16-year-old girls wanting to get some kind of proof that we actually saw them in real life.

Although I think we were a lot subtler about it.

Alice, Rose and I made our way over to the table Rob and Kristen were at. They looked at the camera in Rose's hand and I swear he groaned.

I literally felt the heat pool between my legs._ Grunt again. Please!_

We didn't want to be rude, but we couldn't help ourselves with wanting to have some kind of proof that we saw the celebrities. I nervously asked for a picture as Alice complimented them both on their awesome movies as they stood for the picture. A waiter took it for us; we each smiled like Cheshire fucking cats. We thanked them and went on our way.

_What a first impression of Cali. if I do say so myself._

LA was awesome. It was warm, bright and sunny. I was glad we decided to do this as a girl's weekend, although, I felt a slight pain that Jasper wasn't here. I think he thoroughly enjoyed our trips across the country and the time we spent together and this was the first one that I've taken in which he was with.

But I needed this. _We _needed this. I'd never really had too many girlfriends in my life and needed to get to know Alice and Rose better.

That thought reminded me of the reason _why _I didn't have many girlfriends in my life_. James_. I never wanted him to look at any of them the way he did me. I never wanted them to be in danger because of my fucked up past and now I was starting to question if I was putting Rose and Alice in any danger being with me now.

I put those thoughts aside wanting to enjoy my time with the girls. This weekend was about _fun_, and that definitely was what was going to happen if I had a say in it.

We ended up shopping, and the term 'shop till you drop?', well that was invented by Alice and Rose. I was grateful that I'd brought my extra large suitcase so my purchases could make their way home with me. _Alice's idea of course_. Rose and Alice were shopaholics. I swear if they had a counseling group for that sort of thing, those two would be the leaders. _Hi, my name is Rose…and I'm a shopaholic. 'Welcome Rose.'_

After dinner in the hotel restaurant, we ended up back in the room with a few glasses of wine. _Or bottles, but who's counting, right? _Alice and I were jet lagged and I wanted to be fresh for my signing in the morning. I talked with Edward and Jazz before falling asleep telling them about our first day. Jasper's call was quick as he was more interested in talking to Alice than me, which I could relate with.

Edward seemed truly interested in our trip so far, but his voice sounded far away. I realized more and more that he depended on me just as I did him. I went to sleep that night dreaming of coming home to Edward, his hands on my body just like they had been that night at the shop.

_Blissful sleep._

Too bad I was sharing a king size bed with my two best girlfriends, and was unable to have any _'happy time'_ thinking of my man.

_Soon_, I told myself.

I knew that our relationship was moving fast, but it just felt so natural. So right. _And who was I to go against nature?_

The next morning I woke to Alice jumping on the bed telling me it was time for me to get up. Who the fuck has that much energy in the morning?

_Oh, that's right; Pixies have that much fucking energy in the mornings!_

Apparently her and Rose wanted to help me get ready before they left for the day. They thought they had more style than me. I flicked them off and tried to go back to bed. _It was true, I knew it, but I felt like being a bitch._

Reluctantly, I pulled my tired ass in the shower and when the water ran cold, I decided it was a good time to get out. I pulled on the soft white hotel robe and sat myself in a chair. _'Do what you want with me,'_ were my exact words.

The ladies went to town.

Alice picked out a black skirt that fell just above my knees with stilettos and a white off the shoulder short sleeved blouse. Rose decided that my hair would look best pulled up to show off my collarbone and placed a diamond necklace around my neck. _To borrow, of course._ Alice did my make- up and when I looked in the mirror, I actually liked what I saw. Not that I was ugly or anything, but it was just nice to get dressed up here and there, instead of the usual jeans and t-shirts I was accustomed to.

I guess it paid to take Alice with me; Jazz never had style like this. Nor did I want him to.

_That would just be weird._

Alice decided to take a picture to send to Edward so that he knew what he was missing. I believe the title 'Am I fuckable?' was what Alice added. I rolled my eyes and waited for his reply.

He texted me a few minutes later.

_I plan on fucking you when you get home. Just to answer your question._

_You said I could do anything._

_-E_

I couldn't wait for Sunday morning when I could make him pay up. I don't think you could find two people more ready to jump in the sack. We'd taken our relationship as slow as possible up until now.

I was comfortable with Edward. There's not many people in this world that I can say that about. I wanted to be with him, and from the sounds of things, he wanted to be with me. I let him into my life, more than pretty much anyone else that surrounded me. Even though I knew Jasper was the one that said most of it, Edward was in my life, into my secrets one way or another.

Alice and Rose left around noon, and the car that my editor had arranged came for me at 1pm. My signing was located across town at a small bookstore and when I got there I saw people lined up around the block to see me. I was taken around back where I met with the owner. She set me up with my table and books and I took the quiet time to get my thoughts in order.

At 2pm the doors opened and people swarmed in. My editor hired a bodyguard that kept people at bay so that I wasn't bomarded all at once. _Or at least that's what he was being paid to do. _This way usually Jasper's job, it felt eerie without him here. I should have brought him. I should have brought Edward.

Even though I had Frank, I didn't know him and I felt alone.

_Maybe I could convince Edward to start coming on these trips... I bet he'd like the alone time, and I would feel safe wherever I went._

Right now I felt vulnerable.

For the next three hours I signed copies of my book and talked with fans.

I was signing a book for a mom about my age when I heard my name whispered in a familiar voice.

"Isabella," I knew that voice. No one but my father called me Isabella. No one except for _him_. I looked up to see the same blond haired man that was looking at me through the window at the coffee shop not so long ago staring back at me.

"James," I started. I looked over at Frank who was staring off into space. _He was going to be no help. Fucker. _Trying to keep my cool so that I wouldn't scare anyone, I found my voice. "Wh-what are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay away." As much as I didn't want to panic, to show him how utterly terrified he made me, I also knew that Jasper wasn't here to protect me. Hell, I was practically alone with the way that Frank was doing his job. _Or not doing his job._

James looked around to see if anyone was paying an attention to him and then placed his grimy hand on top of mine hard as he bent down so his face was directly in front of mine. "Where's Jasper, baby? Did he throw you to the curb finally?" My stomach fell and my body shook listening to his familiar voice.

Memories flooded my mind of the last time he touched me like this, what he did to me, what Jasper did. I was going to be sick.

"James, I think you need to leave. I have people to see and I don't want to deal with you." My voice sounded weak. I felt alone even though there was an entire store full of people looking on. To anyone around us, we looked like two friends talking in low tones. James had a way about him that made him look like a good guy, when I knew all too well that it was just an image he potrayed to everyone but his victims. I looked up at Frank but he was now talking to some leggy blonde with fake tits. _Fucking useless!_

James apparently didn't like the tone I took with him, his hand pressing harder into my own. "Don't be a little bitch, Isabella." He leaned in closer, smelling of whiskey and weed. "I came all this way to see you, don't _make_ me regret my decision."

The pressure on my hand increased as I let out a shreik at the pain he was causing. James only smiled at my distress, a menacing smile that I remembered all too well.

Frank finally looked in my direction, must have heard me or became observant finally. His large body moved towards us until he was towering over James. James let go of my hand and started walking away, not seeming to be the least bit intimidated by Frank.

"See you later, Isabella." He had the audacity to wink at me as I swallowed back the vomit in my throat.

I watched as James left the store trying to compose myself so I didn't cause anymore gossip than I already had. I glared at Frank for being such a useless piece of shit, and was definitely going to be talking to Angela when I got back about hiring me a descent bodyguards if I ever came on one of these things without one of my guys again, although I knew that wouldn't be happening. _Not after today._

The signing ended an hour later and I'd never been so thankful for one to be over. Usually I enjoyed these types of things, but knowing that James was lurking out there somewhere close, made me want to run and not deal with anything.

I took hundreds of photos with readers and signed I don't know how many copies of my book. I even had several people share their stories with me, saying that my book really impacted them and made them _want _to talk about what happened in their own lives. I was reminded once again _why _I wrote the book in the first place. People always wanted to know who my book was based on. My simple answer, which I have stuck to since I wrote the book, was that it was about a dear friend of mine that wanted to remain nameless. Most people were fine with that answer.

Frank dropped me off at the hotel entrance, and after thoroughly checking out who was standing by the front door and not seeing James, I made my way out of the car, and quickly up to my room. I didn't give Frank a second glance, too upset for his uncapable ass. _If _Edward, Jasper or even Emmett heard about this, I could kiss my chances of going anywhere by myself ever again goodbye.

I locked the door, knowing that only Rose and Alice had access to the room, and I think we were one of the only ones on the floor. I wondered where James was and if he was plotting anything. Knowing James, he was always plotting _something_. I just prayed that I wasn't alone if he decided to attack. The last time I'd come face to face with him was about a year ago. Jasper and I were still in Chicago and I was meeting my editor for a late supper. James had been following me and pushed his way into my apartment. Jasper had gone to an art show thinking that I was with my editor.

I never made it to the meeting.

James was obsessed. He didn't know how to move on with his life and still saw me as the 17 year old he could control. I was strong that night and as he attempted to rape me, I clawed at his eyes and kicked him in the crotch. He hit me several times in the process but I was able to get away from him and that's when Jasper came home. He'd heard from Angela that I never made it for the meeting as she was concerned and called him, and he rushed home to check on me. I begged Jasper not to go to the police not wanting to make a bigger deal out of things than it already was, and after pacing silently for what felt like hours he agreed but made me promise this was the last time he'd let him get away with something.

The last time he would cover for me. I could tell it was eating him alive with guilt that he couldn't turn this guy in but I didn't want to be exposed.

I didn't want to be the victim.

James showed up at one more signing after that and then all was quiet. We were doing a lot of book tours and weren't in one place for very long, which worked in our advantage. Living on the road made it hard for James to track us but that life got old fast. We were growing up, and I know I was ready to settle down a little more. Jasper wanted to start working again, and I wanted to live a real life.

The incident in Chicago was also the final nail in the coffin for us to move and start fresh. So when my big stream of tours came to an end, we packed up and left. We hadn't heard from James in months, and taking that as a good sign, New York looked like a good place to try out.

I laid on the bed trying to sleep. I didn't want to think about James or this afternoon, but it was all that flooded my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about him and when I did finally fall asleep, my dreams, _or nightmares actually_, all surrounded him.

I woke when I heard the door open, immediatly I was panicked not knowing who was at the door, but when Alice and Rose's voices filtered through the room I calmed and felt my tension ease. They were talking about the photo shoot and all the clothes Rose modeled. The girls plopped themselves on the bed next to me, both tired from the long day. They asked about the book signing and I told them how well it went. They both seemed interested so I went into as much detail as I could.

Except for the part that included James.

_Fucker_.

Apparently Alice is a mind reader and said that my eyes gave me away.

"Bella, you're and awful liar. What happened?" She cornered me when the door closed and Rose turned on the shower. I waited a few minutes until I thought Rose was definitely in the shower before groaning in defeat.

"If you promise not to freak out, I'll tell you." I mumbled, staring intently into her eyes.

This hiding shit was eating me up. My stomach had been churning for weeks and I needed to finally spill it to someone.

"Promise. Whatever you say to me is just between us, sweetie." Alice rubbed up and down my arm, trying to comfort me, maybe ease my dirty secrets out of me.

I was clenching the blanket over my legs looking down at the hem realizing that I was actually going to tell her.

"I saw James today. He was at the book store."

"Oh my gosh Bella! What did he do? Where was Frank? What the fuck was he doing there?" Alice's questions came out rushed, her face looking pissed, scared, upset.

"He didn't do anything really. He just got real close and touched my hand. _Hard_. And said a few things, but that's it. And Frank, well he was too busy staring at some blond. James said he'd see me later." I looked up to judge her expression. She nodded at what I told her with a solemn look.

"Bella, I don't think this is the kind of secret we should keep from the guys. I mean, this guy's dangerous, right?" She went back to rubbing my arm making me feel better little by little.

"Yes. He's dangerous. But I don't need Jasper or Edward getting their panties in a bunch for something that didn't really even happen. Nothing happened. Why ruin our weekend or theirs?" I knew I was lying just a little, but I didn't want to leave and I didn't want Jasper to find out and get that restraining order. Alice had no idea how hard it was for me to say anything to her in the first place. This was a big enough step telling her about it, much less _doing _something about it.

"Something doesn't feel right about this Bella. I think you need to call Edward. At least tell him so that he knows what's going on." Alice shook her head from side to side as her voice shook.

"No Alice! You said that whatever I told you stayed between us. Come on, help me out here. Please?" I found myself begging her now, pleading with my eyes.

She didn't respond for several minutes, contemplating what she was going to decide.

"Look Alice, I don't trust too many people with my history, you know that. This is a big step for me to even tell you. You don't know what its been like holding it in that he's been in the city, and..." Alice cut me off.

"You what? You saw him in the city? When? Why the _FUCK _doesn't Jasper know about this Bella!" She yelled at me. _Shit, this was just going to make things worse, telling her the other times I saw him._

"Keep your voice down. I don't need Rose knowing about this too." I tried calming her down, convincing her that this wasn't really even an issue for us to be concerned with. "It was no big deal. He didn't even talk to me. That night that you and Jazz went on the carriage ride in the park when I was at the coffee shop, I felt someone staring at me and looked up and saw James through the window. Nothing happened, that's why I didn't say anything." I was a coward and acting childish not wanting Jasper to actually turn him in an make me tell my story to the cops_._

"For fucks sake Bella!" Alice got up and started to pace. I ignored her yelling, stuck in my own trance.

"And then I saw him when we went shopping the other day. He... he was the guy I ran into and you made me check out." Her eyes bugged out of her skin. "You thought he was hot."

Alice didn't say anything again for a long while. She continued to pace and chew her nails. Finally she looked up and I waited patiently for her answer, knowing that it would either allow us to continue on with our weekend, or land us on a flight back home.

"Alright Bella. I'll keep your secret for this weekend. _This weekend only_. And when we get home, you _WILL_ tell Edward and Jasper. I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt. I couldn't handle it." She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug as I held her close to me.

"Thank you, Tink. I really appreciate it. And if it makes you feel better, I will tell them about all of it, when we get home. And I'm sorry for getting you into this fucked up mess. I just really needed to talk to someone. Lets not let this ruin our weekend. I'm looking forward to the rest of our girl time and I know you and Rose are too."

She nodded at me and shot me a smile. I knew she wasn't happy about my decision to keep quiet and I felt horrible to put her in the middle of it, but didn't want to blow this out of proportion. Nothing had happened.

_Nothing yet._

Rose's shoot from earlier today was running behind schedule and she would need to finish up tomorrow. Alice and I were invited to go with and I was told that we would even get to check out the new D&B line. Alice rambled on and on about her day and was stoked to head back again. I have to admit that I too, was just a little excited thinking that we could maybe model some of the clothing and get a few freebies in the process.

Alice being Alice booked our schedules out for us for the whole trip, and we had 6:00pm massages and pedicures downstairs at the spa. We quickly ate our room service and made our way down to the spa. After dressing in the softest robe I had ever imagined, we started with pedicures. _Throw in the complimentary champagne and I was on cloud 9_. When we were finished there, we had full body massages completed by three of the hottest guys, although after telling Jonah about Edward, he wanted to see a picture of him, and then became more interested in looking at my 'pretty boy' than working on my sore back.

I was really feeling relaxed by this point and was forgetting about my earlier troubles.

After we were done at the spa it was close to 10pm and it was time to hit up the clubs. The three of us got ready together making me feel like I was back in high school all over again. Living with your male best friend for your adult years didn't give you a whole lot of dress up time. The last time I remember doing something like this was before I met James and actually had _friends_.

We bought a ton of new clothes on our earlier shopping trips, and were ready to show them off for our night out on the town.

Alice decided on a strapless dress with stilettos that showed off her beautiful artwork. It was deep blue and looked sexy as hell on her. Rose had on a blood red spaghetti strapped dress with a plunging neckline; one of the freebies from today's shoot with matching red 'fuck me' heels. And finally it was down to me. I chose to go with a green halter-top dress with a plunging neckline, which showed most of my back and ended several inches above my knees. I paired it with a short set of heels so I wouldn't kill myself. I was clumsy enough that I didn't need to add heels to the mix. I decided to wear my hair up, curling it first then pulling it into a clip.

_If we were dancing I would get hot and sweaty._

Rose called her driver, Tiny, to pick us up and we were out the door by 11pm. We decided to go to _"Midnight Sky"_ which had people lined up around the building to get in. The car drove right up to the front doors and we were escorted in, no waiting in line. Apparently the bouncer recognized Rose from the last Sports Illustrated that she had done the cover for.

There were several girls bitching about us cutting in line but we just shrugged them off.

_Skanks!_

Inside we were granted access to the VIP lounge thanks to our friend Rose, and the drinks began to freely flow. Alice, Rose and I stayed linked to each other the whole night. We had guys back home and weren't interested in dancing with any sleaze tonight.

By midnight I was feeling pretty good. Grey Goose had my mind flowing free as a bird. The three of us were getting pretty bold and were taking provocative pictures with our phones and sending them to the boys wanting to see who could get the best texts back from their man.

Apparently they were all over at Emmett's playing poker with his friends Seth and Conner so they were looking at the pictures together. Because of the free flowing alcohol, most of the pictures were provocative with lots of groping and boob touching.

Some guy paid Rose and I $100 to make out with each other after watching us from the sidelines for a while, which we gladly did.

_Come on, we were friends, why not have some fun with it?_ Alice being the devil she is, recorded the whole thing and sent it to the boys. Rose spent the next half hour texting Emmett. She looked hot and bothered every time she looked up and I could only imagine what pervy things were coming from Emmett.

Edward sent me _MANY _texts indicating what he would be doing to me when I got home which only made the pain in my panties a little more unbearable.

_Did I say I was ready for Sunday morning yet?_

By 2am, we were getting tired and decided on one last dance before calling it a night. Rose called Tiny and he was waiting out front already. _'Man Eater'_ by Nelly came on and that song gets me going every time so I pulled the girls out to dance one last song.

I always wanted to have sex to that song. I imagined it hard-core. Lord knows my vibrator had gotten a good work out to it a time or two in the past. _Ok who am I kidding? My vibrator had to be rewired because of that song!_

The three of us were grinding on one another when I felt a pair of hands wrap around my waist moving their way up my chest and all the way down to my core. His sweaty forehead rested in the crook of my neck as he kissed near my ear.

"You look hot, Isabella." James. _What the fuck?_

I tried to remove his hands from my waist but he pulled tighter backing me into his hardness. He was drunk and when he's drunk he's violent. He was always violent, but I was scared shitless of him when he was drunk because he didn't know his limits. He didn't realize the pain he caused with just a simple touch.

He grasped onto me a bit harder as I tried to get away from him grinding his fingers into my hipbones. He moved his hands to my upper arms and turned me around slamming me into his chest. The grasp he had on my arms was sure to leave bruises and hurt like hell.

"James, you're hurting me!" I yelled, again trying to squirm my way out of his grasp. "Let me go or so help me God..." I was angry and not going to let him do this to me again.

His grip on my arms tightened if that was even possible as I cried out in pain.

"Isabella, when are you going to _finally _realize that I'm not going anywhere? I've been waiting a long time for you baby. Why would I give up now? Not when I have you alone." His smile made me sick to the stomach, along with the heavy smell of cheap whiskey on his breath.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm not alone James. _WE_ are not alone." I yelled at him.

He shook me jerking my body towards him, making me rub against his body even more. "Fuck Isabella! You're turning me on so much with the feistiness. Keep that up and when we get back to your hotel, I won't last very long." He leaned in to kiss my neck as my knee lifted hitting him in the crotch. His grip loosened slightly.

I felt like this had all been happening in slow motion, but really it had only been a minute or two since he'd come over to me. Rose and Alice were too caught up in grinding with each other to notice that something was wrong. After I kneed James and he got his bearings back, he lunged for me. Rose stepped in front of me and pushed James back, her long red nails against his chest.

"Beat it buddy. She's got a guy. Go fuck off!" She yelled at him, pointing a finger in his chest.

"Isabella, who's the blond? She could come in handy later." James gave Rose his menacing smile as he licked his lips and grabbed for my arm.

The more I tried to pull away, the tighter his grasp was becoming. Rose pushed James making him burst out laughing. She pushed him again and I could tell he was getting annoyed with her. I wanted to scream at Rose to back away, she didn't know who she was dealing with, but she just kept getting in his face pissing him off further.

Alice disappeared and the next thing I knew there was a bouncer pulling James off of me away from us. _God Bless Alice and how fast she moved._

James was dragged out of the club, his eyes never leaving me, shooting daggers the entire way.

"Who the _fuck _was that, Bella?" Rose asked, as she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bathroom. Alice was on my other side holding my hand.

"_That _was James." That's all I had to say. Alice shot me a knowing glance, as did Rose. I assumed that Emmett had told her what he knew because she didn't even question it.

Alice's face fell, she looked as if she was going to cry. _Stupid Bella for getting her involved!_

Once we were in the lounge outside of the bathroom, Alice pulled me to the couch and into her side. She was rubbing along my arm as I sat there in a daze. I wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to get to me like that.

She rubbed my upper arm and I flinched in pain. Rose, who was kneeling on the floor in front of us gasped.

"Shit Bella!" She put her hand over her mouth. "Look at your arms baby!"

I looked down to see bruises in bands forming over my left arm. I looked over at the right one and sure enough bruises were beginning to form. I got up and ran into the bathroom, both of them following behind, Rose locking the door.

I pulled my dress down and looked in the mirror at the bruises beginning to form on my hips. There was no way I was going to be able to hide this from Jasper or Edward.

Edward.

How was he going to deal with this shit?

They weren't going to let this go, and Jasper made me promise him that I'd do something about it this time.

Damn it!

Alice had tears in her eyes as she looked at my almost naked form in the mirror.

Rose looked pissed. She was not the type of person you would want to mess with. She stood up to James and didn't back down. Part of me was proud of her for being so brave. But, she also didn't know what he was capable of and I prayed she never did.

Alice grabbed my dress from the floor and slowly pulled it up my body as I stood there in a trance. I gave her a weak smile and thanked her for her help.

As soon as I could compose myself enough, hand in hand we made our way to the entrance not wanting to take our chances anymore tonight.

Our car had to circle the block as we had taken so long, so there we stood at 2:30 in the morning on the sidewalk. Alice and Rose never left my side as we waited. I grabbed a smoke and inhaled as much as my lungs would allow, letting the nicotine calm me.

Just as the car showed up I caught James in the corner of my eye. He made his way towards me and before I had a chance to move, he pushed me up against the building behind us as I was tugged away from Alice and Rose. His hand wrapped tightly around my neck. I could feel the scratchy brick digging into my raw skin, burning with each new cut. I gasped for breath as his hand was constricting my airway and I was starting to get light headed.

"Isabella, I'm tired of the games. You're going to pay for that little stunt back there!" He said, never loosening his grip. His eyes were dark, the look so familiar. The look that haunted my dreams for so many years. "Do you remember how to _pay _me?" His eyes were menacing, glaring down at my chest. _Yes James, I don't think I will ever forget how you made me PAY, you sick fuck!_

I closed my eyes and took the lit cigarette that was in my hand and pushed it into his arm. He loosened his grip grabbing at his arm, and I slipped away as he screamed profanities my way. He went for me again when Tiny, our driver pulled him off of me and slammed him up against the building.

I backed away out of his reach as Rose and Alice pulled me into the car with them, locking the door when we were all safely inside. From the window I could see our driver punching him dead on in the face, nose, stomach and ribs. He was screaming at him about how to treat a lady and that if he followed us, he would regret it. Minutes later the car was taking off and we were heading towards the hotel.

I was sitting in Rose's lap, _that was how I was pulled into the car_, with her arms around me holding me tightly. Alice's hand was rubbing my thigh as she sat at my side. They both gave me their love without words as no one had the right words to say. My hands were wrapped around my throat as I rubbed at the pain.

I couldn't talk to them right now. If I talked, I would cry, and I wasn't ready to open those wounds yet.

When we got back to the hotel, the driver opened the door and helped us out. When he grabbed for my hand to help me, I kept his a little longer and thanked him for his help.

"Don't worry about it miss. No _real _man lays a hand on a lady. That fucker needed to be taught a lesson. Please excuse my French." His name was Tiny, although he didn't live up to the name_. At all._

"You sound just like my boyfriend Edward. Thank you for what you did, I'm sure he'll be happy you were around tonight." I said trying to hold my emotions in.

He enveloped me in a hug that I wasn't expecting, but gladly accepted. I needed to feel his big arms around me. I felt safe.

Rose told him she would add in an extra $2,000.00 if he spent the night at the hotel with us. He gladly accepted the job, but said he didn't need to be paid. Never the less, _I_ made my way over to the ATM and withdrew the money shoving it at him. Rose tried to stop me saying she would pay for it, but this was my fight and I wasn't going to let someone else deal with the mess_ I _created.

Tiny would be staying with us, and it made me able to relax just a bit. The last thing I needed was to worry that my friends were now in jeopardy because of me.

At 3 in the morning, we made our way back to the hotel room. Alice, Rose and I would share the king sized bed as we did the previous night, and Tiny would sleep on the pull out couch. He told us about his wife and kids and that when he called his wife to tell her where he would be, she praised him for being such a gentleman. _That was one understanding wife._ Letting her hulk of a husband shack up with three girls for the night.

Alice decided to call Jasper when we got back and the loud mouth told him everything that happened. _I loved her but seriously, loud mouth fucking Pixie was all that was going through my mind at the moment._

I could hear him yelling from the other side of the room where I was trying to clean myself up. I knew he would kick himself for this. He always did. It had never been Jasper's fault but it was just his way to take the brunt of it all.

My phone was ringing non-stop.

Edward.

Of course it was Edward.

I finally decided to answer after the 16th time, and give him the best face I could. I still hadn't cried and didn't plan on it.

I was in the bathroom changing into my robe, careful not to get blood on the white fabric, when I answered.

"E." I said as calmly as I could. I could hear Jasper yelling in the background and Emmett swearing up a shit storm. Edward took a big gasp and then started in just like I knew he would.

"B, what the _FUCK_ is going on? Alice told Jasper that James was at the club?" He was mad, his screams echoing off the walls. _He was mad at me?_

"E, please don't be mad. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. He found me at the book signing and I kindly told him to fuck off, and then he was there tonight. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me." I slid myself down the wall cradling my knees to my chest with my arm wrapped around them, trying to comfort myself. My back hurt like hell but I didn't care.

"Baby, baby. I'm not mad at you. I'm irate that I'm not there, but I could never be mad at you, B. This isn't your fault. I knew I should've gone with you, or at least Jasper! Damn it!" I heard glass shattering and everything went silent on his end.

"What was that?" I asked, chewing on my nails, worried that it was something expensive.

"Ugh...A vase? I don't know." He said _'I'll buy her a new one'_ to someone. Probably Emmett. It was Rose's. "Baby, did...did he hurt you?"

I was silent for a long time. I couldn't deal with this right now. I know I was acting immature but I just couldn't.

Edward took my silence as a yes, and I heard more glass breaking. "Edward stop! Breaking Rose's things isn't going to change anything. What's done is done. Go to my apartment if you want to break something." I was trying to lighten the mood knowing that anything else that he broke was only going to cause a more shit to happen. "I really hate those glass figurines on top of the entertainment center. Go for those."

I heard him chuckle lightly before taking a deep breath.

"Bella,... what did he... do?" His voice was more serious, all the calmness gone.

"It's nothing, E. A few bruises... and that's it." I said, as I rubbed my throat, trying to down play it so Rose didn't break _HIM_ when we got home.

From the other side of the door I heard Alice yell, _'a few bruises my ass!'_ I got up and opened the door to see her laying down in front of it, with Rose's head in her lap. They didn't even try to get up when I opened the door.

_The little sneaks were spying!_

"What did Alice just say?" Edward asked, his voice angry once again. _God I swear this man had ears of a dog!_

"Nothing. She was just talking about going for a smoke, which is a great idea. So listen, Edward. I. Am. Fine. No need to worry. I'll be back in your arms on Sunday. Tiny is here and we paid him to stay with us over night. So don't worry. Ok?"

Alice told Jasper about Tiny, and apparently he had his phone on speaker. _Thank God I didn't have to explain to my jealous boyfriend why there was a guy staying with us._

"Put him on the phone." Edward said point blank. _Yes sir._

I tried to reason with him thinking that he was going to play the jealous boyfriend card, but there was no doing that. Reluctantly, I moved my way over to the couch and gave Tiny my phone. Edward was having a very serious conversation with our driver. That much was apparent by the look on Tiny's face.

After 10 minutes of talking, Tiny handed me the phone and I said goodnight to Edward. He sounded a lot calmer and I silently thanked Tiny for whatever he said. I told Edward I'd call him in the morning and we hung up. He pleaded with me to come home saying that he was checking flights right now but I refused to let this ruin our time here in Cali.

_And maybe I was just a little scared to go home right now too._

Alice hung up with Jasper who'd been giving her and Rose a play by play with my conversation with Edward.

Was nothing sacred?

_Not with these people, no._

I guess we were all in this together at this point. Or at least that's what I was being told. They knew what they were getting into when they became my friends. And after tonight, they were still here. _I kept telling myself that, thinking that I would somehow finally believe it_.

It was now close to 5am, Rose and Alice were still awake with me, even though we had to be at Rose's photo shoot in 3 hours.

Alice and I never talked about the fact that I made her keep quiet. I saw it eating her up and was upset with myself for getting her involved.

_I was selfish to put her in the middle of this._

After much prying from Tiny, I realized what had made Edward so calm. Tiny was now our official bodyguard until he personally dropped us off at the airport on Sunday morning. Edward offered him $5,000 for the remainder of the weekend. Tiny accepted and wasn't leaving our side.

I sent Edward a text _'you are soooo dead'_ and went to crawl in bed with my girls. We all lay there in our robes together. I was lying down on my side with my head on Rose's stomach and Alice's head was on Rose's knees. They wanted to know about James. I hadn't ever told anyone my full story with James. I tried to drop it and we talked more about the hot night we had. _Up until James entered the picture_.

We talked for the next few hours before getting up to take showers.

We stopped by Tiny's house after so he could grab some clothes and we got to meet his wife who was sweet just as we thought. We then proceeded to the photo shoot for Rose.

Alice and I were deadbeat, and instead of trying on all of the freebie clothes that we planned on, we lay on a couch together and watched as Rose strutted her stuff. _Thank God for make-up as the bags under her eyes from no sleep were easy to see miles away._

The photo shoot lasted until 5pm, poor Rose could barely keep her eyes open. Tiny drove us back to our hotel where we decided to crash for the evening. We had our fill of the city for now and didn't want to test the waters again.

Tiny or no Tiny, our trip to LA was done.

Sunday morning, we packed up and headed to the airport. Although Edward bribed him to stay, I paid Tiny the money that was owed to him and thanked him for all of his help. _Not only was this the longest weekend of my life, it was also the most expensive. _He hugged us all good-bye and we boarded our plane.

Only a few days ago I was looking forward to going home.

To my Edward.

Now, with bruises up my arms, hips and around my throat, and deep scratches covering my back, I was scared to face the boys.

**A/N: So...James is trying to pry his way back into B's life. What did you think? He's a bit possessive over our dear Bella. Next chapter Bella and Edward have a heart to heart about her past. It's a bit intense!**

**Now, push the little review button and say hello!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Bella's home and is ready to talk with Edward and Jazz about what went down in Cali. Are you ready? I know I am. **

**Keep in mind that Edward and Jazz only want the best for Bella when you're reading this. Jazz has had to deal with Bella keeping quiet for too many years.**

**Bella gets into her past a bit more, and it's heavy. There's talk of abuse and rape in this chapter. And if it makes you uncomfortable, I'm sorry, but it is what it is. It's not fun. It's not sweet. It's not lovey dovey. But it's something that many females have gone through and I felt the strong need to acknowledge it. So, no negative comments please...it was hard enough to write as it is!**

**Thanks to all who reviewed so far. I am pleasantly surprised by how my story is affecting my readers. I've had several personal stories come through that have touched my heart. Thank you for trusting me and sharing!**

**Keep sharing your love.... it only prompts me to post sooner!**

**Disclaimer: I own my wedding ring. SM owns all things Twilight.**

Chapter 10: Facing The Boys

Shortly after 1pm, our plane touched down in NYC. I slept for most of the flight and was somewhat refreshed when we descended. Rose and Alice seemed just as tired as I was and were ready to get home to their men.

Although it was great to have some quality girl time, we were ready to get back to normal life and to put this weekend behind us.

_Well I knew I was._

I was thanking the high heavens it was getting a bit chilly as October rolled in and pulled my sweatshirt on before leaving the plane. I'd taken it off for the flight as the plane was stuffy and uncomfortable, but was quick to put it on now that we would be seeing the guys.

The flight attendant gawked at my bruised neck when she asked what I wanted to drink and I cringed at the glares. I knew what she was looking at, her eyes practically bugging out of her head as they took in the black and blue that covered my flesh. I was actually suprised that she didn't alert any of the other staff to my presence.

With my sweatshirt covering as much as it could, I took a deep breath knowing that what waited for me was not going to be good.

If Edward and Jasper saw all the gory details immediately, we were going to have trouble right here in the middle of the airport with a crowd of people. If I could at least get home first, then no one else would have to be involved. _Like airport security for example._

I'd put Rose and Alice through enough hell this weekend, and they didn't need to share in what was to come when Edward and Jasper were ready to get down to business.

As we walked to the baggage claim I took a deep breath knowing what was facing me. My stomach twisted in knots and I felt like I was going to be ill. I saw Edward sitting in a chair, head in his hands, his arms resting on his knees.

I also noticed his crazed hair sticking up all over the place, and the 'Cullen' sweatshirt I loved so much pulled over his muscular chest. He wore a pair of dark jeans and docs, and a small part of me reveled in his appearance and how much I missed him.

That small part was pushed deep down as we got closer and I got a better look of how worn out and tired he looked.

Jasper was on his phone next to Edward and Emmett was reading a magazine.

_Cosmo _to be exact_._

He seemed pretty interested in what he was reading and didn't notice us at first. _Emmett reading Cosmo could come in handy later_.

As we got closer, I heard Jasper on the phone talking with Angela. Alice had told him about Frank and his lack of attention and I believe _Frank _was now losing his job. I wasn't usually a complainer, _that much was apparent_, but when I felt alone and unprotected that was another story. Jasper was in over protective over drive. His hair was disheveled and his face was scrunched up in an angry grin. He was letting her have it.

_Poor Angela._

Edward looked, up our eyes meeting. The dark circles under his eyes made him look like he hadn't slept in days.

My heart ached at just the sight of him, knowing that _I_ was the reason for his appearance.

Immediately upon seeing me, Edward stood and walked over to where I had stopped dead in my tracks. My feet apparently were frozen and I wasn't moving like I wanted to. He stood in front of me waiting for me to make the first move.

I dropped my carry-ons and leaned into his chest as he hugged me tightly to his body. I would assume that Rose and Alice were greeting their men in the same fashion, but everything else around me faded away when I was in Edward's arms. His grip was so tight I cringed at how hard he was holding me and my injured back. I'd spent most of the morning before we left cleaning what I could reach of the scrapes. Rose and Alice offered to help, but I wanted to do it on my own.

The less that others had to see of me the better it was. I didn't need the stares of what they thought about my hideous scars.

The pain meds I'd taken this morning had long worn off and I needed something stronger than Tylenol to mask the burning and soreness.

Edward pulled back a bit, a tortured expression spread across his face. He knew that he was holding too tight but I could tell he didn't want to let me go. Instinctively I pulled back as well trying to comprehend his emotions and what they meant.

"I know about your back, B. Don't even try to hide it." He ran soothing circles up my sides relaxing me with his touch. I tried to move myself a bit further away from him but he wrapped his arms around my waist keeping me firmly at his side. "And I talked to Jasper. I know your pattern. Don't you dare try to pull away from me now. I won't let you." Edward kissed my forehead once as I bowed my head into his chest.

I glared at Jasper but he was looking down at his phone, not wanting to make eye contact with me. Every time something had happened like this I wanted to be by myself, have some space until I was ready and Jasper never allowed it.

_But I always tried._

And apparently Edward wasn't letting me get away with it either.

I nodded up at him as he kissed me softly on the lips and cupped my cheeks. The only visible bruises were on my neck, which were hidden pretty well by my sweatshirt, but as he kissed me, his hands instinctively went to cup under my ears, which led his eyes to that vicinity, his eyes glaring at the bruises that he could see.

I saw the look of hurt in his eyes but tried to think of something, anything else to not cry. Seeing Edward hurt was the last thing I wanted.

I could see the words on the tip of his tongue, he wanted to ask me what happened, but realized by the look in my eyes that I wasn't having this conversation here and offered to get my luggage from the carousel knowing that the sooner we got out of here, the sooner we'd talk. This was something he was probably looking forward to, I on the other hand, would rather have stayed in the airport a bit longer.

Jasper grabbed me as soon as Edward let go, hugging me tightly. Again I flinched at the initial contact but tried to shrug it off as nothing.

Before Jasper could even speak, I knew what he was going to say. What he always said. This wasn't the first time we'd had this conversation.

"I'm fine Jasper. And no, I don't want to talk about it." His eyes were disapproving egging me on to continue. "But I won't argue with you ever again about James. I won't go on another trip without one of you again. Not ever. Ok? Does that make you happy?" I tried to beat him to the punch line accentuating my words a bit more than necessary so that he knew that I was serious. I'd made mistakes in my life, and not taking one of the guys with me was a big one. One that I was sure not to make again.

Jasper stared into my eyes for several minutes before speaking. He took a deep breath and started as I waited like a child that was being scolded.

"Bell, I'm not happy right now, but that does make it a little better. I should've been there. You should've _let_ me come. I missed you, and am glad that you're home...in one piece." He said as he kissed my temple. "Come on, lets go home and we can talk about what happened over this weekend as I'm sure you are just _dying_ to tell me."

Jasper nudged my shoulder, a small grin forming on his lips. I knew he was upset, hell, I could see it in his eyes, but he was trying to lighten the mood like he always did.

I rolled my eyes and nudged him as we waited for the guys.

The rest of the gang came back luggage in hand a few minutes later. We all piled into Emmett's jeep to go home. Why he had a jeep like that in the city was beyond me. It was the kind that you take off roading, and if I wasn't mistaken, we were in the city and would not be doing anything of the sorts anytime in the near future_._ Edward lifted me into the back seat as the jeep was high off the ground, Jasper did the same for Alice and Rose pulled herself in the front seat and we were off.

Emmett and Rose were up front talking about her shoot lost in conversation with one another, Alice was telling Jasper about her new purchases. Edward and I were in the back seat; me cuddled tightly to his side. He was quiet for the entire ride home with his arm around me but not making an attempt at further contact or conversation. All I wanted was for him to kiss me, tell me things were fine, but he apparently didn't want to hurt me further, or he was too upset about what happened.

I had no idea what was going through his mind. And I would guess that he was going to bombard me with questions as soon as we were alone since he hadn't said anything yet.

I wasn't scared of Edward physically but rather mentally, as I couldn't predict what was going to happen. We hadn't had a fight yet, and I didn't know how he dealt with things when he was upset. Well actually that's a lie, he breaks things when he's mad. I'm sure he owes Rose a bit of money for the damage he did to their place the other night.

I had no worries that Edward would hurt me, but I knew that he had anger issues and the silence was painful.

Yes, he would bombard me with questions when it was just the two of us. That much I knew just from the silent treatment he was giving me now. Even though I didn't see the point in that with the group of nosy bitches we called our friends and family.

After we brought all of our luggage up to our apartments and Emmett gave me a reassuring hug, he and Rose parted ways, then Alice went back to her apartment not wanting to face the wrath that was mine.

I didn't blame her. It was my mess, and I needed to clean it up.

I made my way into my apartment with two men hot on my trail. I put my stuff down and waited for it all to begin.

I was left alone with Edward and Jasper, who were standing in front of me with their arms crossed as I looked in the fridge for something to eat trying to distract them. I looked up at Jasper and glared at him. I felt the anger I had for James boil in the pit of my stomach. Having Jasper and Edward staring at me like that was making me paranoid and made the anger and the guilt build.

I knew _why _they were mad. Jasper didn't think I would do anything about it this time, just like every other time, and was ready for a full battle to make me see his side of things. But that wasn't the case this time, and I was tired of being treated like a child. I was finally ready to do something about James.

"What the fuck do you want to me to say, Jasper?" I yelled. I didn't mean to yell. Not like that. But I couldn't control the way I was feeling. I hadn't allowed myself to think much about what had happened and I knew I was going to boil over soon. Both Jasper and Edward jumped at my voice, both probably not expecting me to react like that.

Jasper stepped forward and slammed the fridge door shut. _Fuck_. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug. I flinched at the contact as my arms and back were killing me, but I wasn't going to push him away. I needed some aspirin and a good nap so I could deal with the shit going on in my head. As much as I wanted his comforting arms around me, he was too angry. It wasn't loving. It wasn't a normal Jasper hug. I pulled back and as soon as I made eye contact with him I regretted it immediatly.

His eyes were furious, tortured.

"Fuck Bell! You made me a promise that the next time something like this happened, because deep down I _knew _it wasn't over, you'd press charges! And I'm done! I won't hide this shit any longer! I don't care if you don't want to be seen as the victim! I don't give a fuck about anything else other than the fact that you're ok, because I don't want to be at your funeral because you were too fucking stupid to do anything about it! Fuck!" He yelled throwing his hands up over his head and started pacing the floor. This wasn't Jasper. He never acted like this. Sure, he got mad at me for not wanting to turn James in, in the past, but never blew up like this.

"Fine." I said looking down at my feet. I gave up. I threw in the white flag. I was done. The look on his face was too much to handle, and I felt my control slipping. The anger was dying down, my emotions were on the verge of making themselves known. It was the last thing I wanted.

"What?" Jasper looked highly confused. His voice cracked as he stared at me trying to understand what I just said, like it was a foreign language.

But now he was going to make me repeat myself and it was too much to handle. My anger returned because I fucking knew he heard what I said and was making me repeat myself knowing that it would piss me off more than I already was.

"Are you fucking deaf? I said fine! Go do your detective work and get a restraining order!" I screamed at him, not wanting to, but also not able to control what was happening. I had tears in my eyes. _Traitor tears_. "I can't do this anymore." I sunk down to the floor on my knees and wrapped my arms around myself. "I am so sick and fucking tired of feeling afraid to be by myself, not knowing where James is going to show up next, or what he's going to do. I want to live a normal life!"

Edward who'd been silent through this all, was now kneeling next to me within seconds and wrapped his arms around me. He was careful over my back this time wanting to comfort me. My head fell on his shoulder as I greedily took him in, needing to feel his warmth, his love.

I needed him more than I wanted to admit.

I was feeling bipolar for a few minutes not sure which emotions were which. I was hurt. I was angry. I was sad.

I was mad.

I was mad that I was crying. I was mad that James could ever make me feel like this again. I was mad that I felt like that 17-year-old girl he took advantage of over and over again.

I'd spent thousands of dollars and years in therapy to make me not feel like this. And here I was _again._

I pounded my fists on the floor below me trying to release some of the pain. I welcomed the pain that I felt, knowing that if I felt pain, I didn't feel the hurt he caused. It didn't last long, two hands wrapped around my own. Edward grabbed my wrists to stop me from hurting myself and when he saw that I was starting to calm, he released me placing his hand under my chin making me look at him.

His eyes were wet with tears and he was crying.

I made my angel cry.

That was the last thing I wanted to happen.

I was an awful person.

Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me up harshly, pulling me away from Edward. Edward looked at him confused as did I, but I had no control as he was stronger than me.

He tugged at the hem of my sweatshirt and my hands immediately stopped him and pulled it back into place.

"What. The. Fuck. Jazz?" I said each word with clarity.

I knew what he was doing.

He'd done this all before.

He had to see for himself.

I never knew why, seeing that it only made him angrier when he saw the proof.

"Don't play stupid with me, you know what I'm fucking doing. I need to see Bell. I have to see what the fucker did to you." He was getting angrier by the second. His eyes glared at my sweatshirt. " And I'm taking pictures for the police report that we are filing first thing in the fucking morning."

He went for the hem of my sweatshirt again. Edward didn't say anything about what he was doing. _I suppose because he was just as curious_.

I fought with his fingers for a few more seconds before I slapped his hand away and pushed him back.

"Fine!" I yelled. I pulled at my sweatshirt and threw it over my head, landing on the floor. I ignored the pain in my arms and kept going. "You want to see? I'll do it myself. I'm not incapable!" I pulled my t-shirt off too, so I was left with only my white sports bra. I felt exposed and embarrassed for what that fucker did to me. "Are you happy now? Are you?" Tears fell down my cheeks as I stared him deep in the eyes not wanting to see Edward's just yet.

Jasper's face turned red, from my side view, I noticed that Edward looked as if he was going to be sick. Both men had wet eyes signifying that tears were to follow.

The bruises around my upper arms were dark blue and purple along with my neck. I knew how bad they looked. I'd stared at them quite a bit in the last few days and had time to adjust to them. I unzipped my jeans and pulled them down below my hips and displayed the bruises over my hipbones. They too were dark purple and blue and fucking painful as all hell.

Every bruise on my body was long and shaped like a finger. Edward reached over Jasper and traced one of the bruises on my hip matching it up to the length of his finger, then pulled back and ran his fingers through his hair unsure of what to do or say.

"Are you happy now?" I asked again knowing that I was on the verge of totally loosing it. I screamed, throwing my hands up in the air, which did nothing for the pain my achy body was feeling. "Are you guys fucking happy now? Oh wait. You haven't seen _everything_."

I turned around and rolled my bra up so they could see the deep gashes across my back from being thrown up against the building.

For a second Edward looked pissed at my strip act in front of Jasper and glared at him. Jasper put his hand over his shoulder to calm him.

"It's fine, E. Not like I haven't seen this all before." He waved his hand in front of me. That just made Edward angrier. " Chill man. Not like that. I've known the girl forever."

He calmed a little and gave me my shirt back. I slid it on over my head and stood there with my arms around myself.

"Are you guys done with the probing? Can I go unpack or would you like to dwell on my body and its bruises a bit more?" I knew neither of them deserved the bitch act, but I couldn't help it.

I needed to get out of there.

I grabbed a cigarette from Edward as he lit it for me. I'd taken up more and more smoking to release the tension.

Niether of them said anything as I pushed by and to my room. I slammed the door behind me as I slid down the wall.

Now I could cry for real. I was by myself, and there was no one to watch me come undone.

I could hear them talking out there. Jasper was going to call one of our friends Ben from Chicago and see what kind of information he could get on James. Ben was a detective and could get access to his records.

I didn't even think to ask if he _had _any records.

I knew better than that.

I finished my cigarette quickly, then crawled over to my nightstand where I pulled out a joint lighting it up. I wasn't usually into drugs but I needed to _not _feel right now. I couldn't. It was too much to bear.

I shakily lit the joint as I began to cry.

Here it was.

I'd been waiting since Saturday morning to just be alone and let myself wallow.

By _myself_.

I took hit after hit until I started to feel numb. I sat there on the floor next to my bed with my knees pulled into my chest.

Crying.

I was empty.

Jasper protected me from James over the last couple of years as much as he could. I didn't feel afraid because I knew he was always there.

I was now afraid once more. And I hated feeling like this. It wasn't normal.

_What if James had gotten me alone? Would I even be hear right now? Would he have raped me?_

I cried harder and pulled out another joint lighting it quickly taking pull after pull.

I heard the front door close loudly, then a soft knock on my door. When I didn't answer the knock, the door opened, and Edward walked in and sat down next to me on the floor. He put his arm around my shoulders and leaned his head back on the bed. I handed him the joint as he stared at me curiously for a few seconds before taking a hit and passing it back to me. No questions asked. _Well not about what was between my lips anyways._

"B, you have to talk to me. What the hell happened in Cali?" He looked deeply into my eyes. The torture in his only made me cry harder. I leaned my chin against my knee and began to tell him about the book signing.

"I didn't think I'd see him. I mean Cali.'s huge, what are the chances? Then he told me he'd been following me. And when he grabbed me at the club...I did everything I could to get away from him. But he wasn't having it. I don't want to go into details, but he put his hands on me. And he choked me, obviously by the bruises you could tell that much. He told me I'd pay for what I did to him. And I remembered how I paid him in the past. Damn it!" I yelled throwing my hands up in the air, kicking the nightstand. "I felt like that little girl all over again, E!"

"Bella, I know there's more that you haven't told everyone about your past. Let me in. Please. I'm not going anywhere no matter what you tell me, I can promise you that." I chanced a look at his face, which read that his statement was true and sincere.

"Where do you want me to start? " My response came out as nothing more than a whisper. This was it, I was finally going to let the man I loved completely in to my fucked up world once and for all.

"From the beginning." He brushed a piece of hair from my face tucking it behind my ear.

I took a few more hits and leaned my head back against the bed as he held my hand. I took a deep breath and started the conversation I knew I would eventually have to have, but hoped it was in the distant future.

Not right now.

"My dad...he'd just died. He was killed while patrolling this old abandoned factory. Apparently there was some suspicious activity and he was called. He snuck up on some druggie and was shot point blank in the chest. He died at the scene, and I never got to say goodbye. I felt broken and alone. My mom had never been in my life and my dad was all I had for family. Jasper's mom took me in and I lived with her and Jasper for the rest of high school. I needed for my dad to be there, but he wasn't, so I started looking for an alternative. I wanted to feel loved, or _something_. Lauren, this girl I knew back in high school was invited to a party at the campus in Houston. We decided to go together thinking we were hot shit for being invited. We were only 16." I giggled at the thought.

"The first night I met him, we were sitting around some guys dining room table getting high and drunk playing a game of quarters. He stared at me from across the room smoking a bong. He made conversation with me, told me I was beautiful. He was a gentleman. At first anyway. We stayed in Houston for the weekend, I spent a lot of time just hanging out with James and his roommate. We exchanged numbers and he started calling every night. I couldn't have been happier. This 20 year old was interested in me. Plain old Bella Swan. We started going up to Houston every weekend. Lauren was interested in some other guy and would stay with him while I was with James. He didn't try anything for a few weeks. But then we'd make out, and he'd feel me up. I wasn't a virgin, but this was all new to me, so I'd push his advances away. He was fine with it at first, saying that he was falling in love with me and he'd wait. I believed him. 3 months into our relationship, I was still seeing him every weekend, getting high and partying like no 16 year old should ever do. One Saturday night when I was with him, I was high as fuck when he started taking off my pants. I pushed away from him, I wasn't ready for _that _part of our relationship. He grabbed my hands and held them up over my head and told me to stop fighting what I knew I wanted. I begged him to stop... but... he was so hammered that he wasn't listening." I involuntarily shivered at the memory. Edward put his arm around my shoulders and rubbed circles comforting me, wanting me to continue.

"He was groping and touching me and pulling all of my clothes off. I tried to stop him, but the more I tried, the harder he held my arms. He finally got what he wanted. It hurt like hell. Then he slammed me up against the wall, threw my clothes at me and told me to get the hell out saying he was tired and didn't want me sleeping in his bed. I went home to Jasper, who by the way was not a fan of James. He questioned me non-stop about what happened to me. My wrists were covered in bruises from him holding too tight and my back was sore. I lied through my teeth and told him I fell because I was so high. I started to fall behind in school, so tired from my weekends with James and emotionally drained from the arguing that we did over the phone on the weekdays. Although I knew that something wasn't right about our relationship, I couldn't help but feel drawn to him, looking for reassurance that my father could no longer give me. The next few months went by like that first weekend. Only I didn't try to pull away as much, as I knew it would only cause me more pain. I gave in, and let him rape me. At the time I didn't think it was rape but I know better now. Most weekends it was only 3 or 4 times. But sometimes when he was in a really bad mood it was more than 6. But he said that he loved me, and I believed him."

I paused to look at Edward, who remained calm even though I was telling him about my most inner secret that I hadn't talked to anyone about, except for Jasper. He continued to rub soothing circles over my shoulder blades and silently told me to continue.

"One weekend, Jasper had enough. He said that he was coming with me, I couldn't stop him. He' been harping on me for months about James and I knew that there was no stopping him. When we got to James's apartment, he was not happy. He was stoned of course, and punched me square in the face basically as soon as I walked in the door, then threw me up against the wall and called me a whore. I tried to explain to him who Jasper was but he'd already decided at that point and wasn't listening. Jasper was pissed. He threw me behind him and attempted to hit James. Jasper had nothing on James, being 17 and lanky compared to James who spent every day in the gym. James beat the shit out of Jasper within a few minutes and threw us out the door. I didn't see James for a long time after that. Jasper was right about him. I was starting to see he was bad news."

B?" Edward spoke, getting up and going over to my desk. He came back and sat down with a copy of my book in hand. "This book is your story, isn't it?"

I nodded not ever having admitted that to someone before. "Fuck." was all he said. He'd read the book. He knew what had happened to me. He knew all my dirty secrets. He finally put two and two together just like I figured he'd someday do.

I started to cry again. I hadn't cried like that in years. I was embarrassed that he knew, but I cried because I was _happy _that he knew. Finally knew what the hell I'd been going through and why I was so fucked up.

I pulled myself away from him and tried to get up and leave.

Run. Like I always did, but his arms wrapped around me and held me in place.

"Don't do this. I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you." He held me close kissing the side of my cheek.

"It's really fucking hard to talk about, E. I'm having a hard time over here. If you've read my book you know what happened next." I looked in his eyes and watched as a single tear fell to his cheek.

I grabbed the book from the floor and pushed it into his chest. "Start at page 259. Then see if you still want to be here."

The tears flowed freely. I didn't even try to hold them back anymore.

This was it.

The time that I was actually sharing _MY_ story.

Really for the first time as I'd always been sharing _'Janes'_ story. Or at least that's what everyone thought.

He started to say something and I put my hand out to stop him. "Just read it. Out loud. And then we'll talk." _If you're still here, that is._

He took a deep breath and nodded, opening the book to the right page.

_Tonight was my 17th birthday. My friends were taking me out to supper at my favorite Italian restaurant. John hadn't left my side since that night when Jimmy hit me in front of him. Although I knew it wasn't the first time that it happened, nor was it was the worst, he couldn't handle it and never let me go anywhere alone. John and I met up with our friends Kate, Tanya, Mitch and Scott for supper and had a great time. We laughed and joked about normal teenage things. I hadn't laughed in so long it felt like a part of me wasn't there anymore. John and I hadn't been out in a long time. It was easier to steer clear of Jimmy if we stayed at home._

_As we were saying good night to the rest of the gang in the parking lot of the restaurant, I saw Jimmy standing next to Jasper's car. His arms folded over his chest, hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. His eye bored into my own, and he looked sad. I hadn't talked to him in months, and didn't know what to say. John looked at me and grabbed my hand as we made our way over to the car. I tried to open my door, but Jimmy pushed it shut._

"_Jimmy! Please, just leave me alone! It's over! It's been for a long time." Tears streamed down my face. He grabbed my hand and brought it up to his face to kiss. _

_John growled at him and pulled me back. _

"_Jane. It's not worth it. Lets just go in and wait 'till he leaves." John whispered in my ear._

"_Jane. Please. I'm sorry. And I promise never to hurt you like that again. That wasn't me, and you know it." Jimmy was pleading with me. My stupid 17-year-old self started to break down the barrier I had held for so long. "Please Jane, just take a ride and talk with me." _

_John tried to tighten the grip on my hand but I pulled it free. My mind was telling me to hear Jimmy out. I stared up into Johns angered eyes when I'd made my decision. _

"_Don't do this Jane. Don't allow him to do this to you. You're stronger than this." He glared at me pleading with his eyes for me not to even consider Jimmy's request. I was dumb, but I still loved him, or at least I thought I did._

"_It's ok, John. Wait for me at home. This won't take very long." I looked at John. He stared at me with sad eyes as I walked towards Jimmy as he led me to his car. _

_I didn't turn around again, I didn't want to see John's face. I knew it would've looked tortured and I couldn't take that right now. I wanted to hear Jimmy out. Although he hurt me, I still had feelings for him._

_Jimmy opened the car door for me and I got in. He slammed it loudly making me jump. I watched as he smirked at John and flicked him off. As he got in the car, he kissed me on the side of the neck and I pushed him off. _

"_Jimmy, I said I'd talk to you. That's all." I leaned my head against the window and looked at John as we drove away. I started to regret my decision to get in the car at that moment. _

_Jimmy's hand crept up my thigh and started to make its way under my skirt when I slapped it away. He looked up at me with anger._

"_Fucking A, Jane! Loosen up. I missed you and wanna have some fun." He stared back at me with lust filled eyes, not paying any attention to the road. _

_He leaned in close trying to kiss my lips. I pulled back as my stomach churned at the heavy smell of whiskey on his breath. He was drunk. _

_I realized I was in trouble._

"_Jimmy. I think I need to get going home. I don't feel so well. Can we do this another night?" No, I wasn't going to do this another night, but I needed to get out of this situation. Now. _

_He looked over at me again and smiled. Then he reached over me to the glove box and pulled out a bottle of Windsor and took a huge shot. I curled myself up into a ball as far away from him as the little car would allow as he sped up out on the country roads. I didn't know where we were going, but I did know that it was dark and there weren't any house for miles. _

_He stopped the car in the middle of a forested area; shut it off taking another swig from the almost empty bottle. I reached for the door handle to try to make my escape. He caught site of what I was attempting and pushed the locks down. _

_I was stuck._

_He lifted up the center counsel and pulled me harshly into his lap. He began kissing me painfully hard on the lips while his hands worked their way up and under my skirt until he was grasping my bottom. _

"_Stop Jimmy! I'm not doing this anymore!" I pushed away from his chest trying to get loose. This just upset him more as he pulled on my panties._

"_Shut the fuck up Jane. Just take it. I know you want it. You stupid little whore. Living with Johnny boy these days I see, you're such a slut. And my girl doesn't fuck around with other guys." He said, glaring into my eyes._

_I pushed away as hard as I could, but I weighed a measly 100 pounds and he was at least double my weight. He pulled my hips towards him harshly from under my skirt. "Jimmy, you're hurting me! Please stop!" _

"_Are you gonna beg now Janie? Do you beg John like this? Do you beg him when he fucks you like the slut you are?" He ripped off my panties pulling the shreds from underneath me and throwing the discards in the back seat._

"_I'm not f-fucking anybody Jimmy. I just don't want to do this. I'm not yours anymore and I'm not a slut!" I slapped him in the face. _

_His angry eyes bored into mine and I started to tremble. _

_He released my hips and brought his hand up to cup my cheek. He moved his hand down around my throat and began choking me. _

_I couldn't breathe. _

_I was gasping for breath and was starting to get light headed in a matter of seconds._

"_You are mine, Janie. You are mine. And you always will be. You don't belong to anyone else but me!" He tightened his hold on my neck his eyes boring into my own. "Say it Janie. Say that I own you. You little bitch!"_

"_You own me!" I whispered out. He released his hold on my neck as I took a deep breath coughing as the air burned my lungs. He didn't give me anytime to recover grabbing the back of my head pulling it towards his own. He kissed me hard. He was trying to pry my mouth open to get access but I denied him scared of what he was doing to me. He bit down on my bottom lip making me scream out in pain. The blood was seeping into my mouth and I became nauseated. _

"_Ungh... Janie. Listening to you scream like that turns me on. I love to listen to you scream." He groaned in my mouth._

_I was shaking I'd been crying so hard. I knew what was happening and what was about to happen and I couldn't do anything about it. The sooner I let him, the sooner he'd let me go. I stopped trying and sat there. With my skirt up above my waist leaving my most sensitive areas exposed against his engorged self. _

"B...." I don't have to read this. I... don't know if I can continue." Edward looked at me eyes were completely distraught. He looked as if he was going to be ill any second.

"You wanted to know so keep going." I said coldly. He stared at me for a minute, nodded his head and continued on.

_Jimmy began rubbing himself on me, chaffing me in the process from his jeans that were still in place. He continued kissing my mouth, my neck and down my chest. He removed his hands from behind my head, grabbing my breasts twisting my nipples through my shirt. I screeched out in pain, as he just laughed and twisted harder. The tears streamed down my face as I tried to close my eyes and pray for a miracle. _

_But my miracle wasn't coming today. _

_I wasn't worth a miracle. _

_Jimmy ran his hands up my breast then latched them onto the collar of my blouse ripping it straight down the middle until it was in shreds. He threw the remains to the side and fondled me through my bra, which he ripped off of me a minute later. He stared at my bare chest and took my left nipple in his mouth sucking and nibbling on it until it bleed._

_He slapped me across the face for bleeding, like I could help what happened. He moved his grimy hands up and down my chest before going for my skirt, which was already up my waist. He reached for it and raised it over my head. _

_He stared at me. Cold and naked, bruised and battered. _

_Jimmy grabbed a hold of my waist and began rocking me into himself. _

_He pulled me off of him and threw me to the back seat. I landed with a loud thud, trying not to scream in pain. I lay there not knowing what to do. I couldn't do anything. It was a two-door car and I couldn't make it out. I lay there while he threw his shirt off and began to unbuckle his pants. He crawled into the back seat with me and pulled me to kneel down on the floor. He pushed my head into his crotch and when I didn't open my mouth, he punched me in the eye. My eye puffed up within minutes and I couldn't see straight, my vision blurry. He pulled at my hair ripping it from my scalp._

"_If you know what's good for you Jane, you'll do as I say." He said as he pushed my head back into his lap._

"You don't have to read the next few paragraphs. I don't think I can stomach it." I said clenching my arms around my waist. I pointed to where I wanted him to continue.

I didn't make eye contact with Edward but by the sounds of the sniffles and his cracking voice, he couldn't take much more either.

I knew the feeling.

_As soon as he pulled out, he pushed me to the side where I slammed into the window. I pulled my knees to my chin trying to cover my bruised and bloody body. Blood splattered across his seat from the harshness he took on me during his moment of passion. I sat their crying trying not to make a sound so he'd leave me alone for a second. He pulled his pants back up and found his shirt. Jimmy glared at my naked form then pulled himself to the front seat, opened the door and got out. He stood at the door and moved the front seat forward staring at me._

"_Get the fuck out of my car, you dirty whore! You got blood all over the fucking place!" I reached for my skirt and torn shirt before he pulled me from the car and threw me to the cold ground. He looked at me for a second before he started laughing then got in and drove away. I quickly pulled my skirt on and covered my chest as much as possible with my torn shirt. _

_I didn't even have shoes. _

_I stood there for a moment trying to take in my surroundings. My adrenaline kicked in and as bad as my body hurt, I knew I needed to get out of there fast. I had an idea of where I was and began to run. I ran as fast as my body would take me, afraid that he'd come back. I ran through the forest as I didn't think he could find me there. When I got tired of running I walked as fast as I could. My feet were bloody and scratched from the lack of shoes. I kept walking. I don't know how much time had gone by or how far I'd gone, but finally I saw the outskirts of town, houses and lights. I felt embarrassed for my appearance and stayed off the main roads while I made my way to John's. _

_I walked up towards the house where I saw John sitting on the porch with his head between his knees. He looked like he saw a ghost when his eyes landed on me. I stopped on the lawn and collapsed to my knees. My feet had dragged me all the way here and I couldn't move any further. John ran for me and caught me in his arms. _

_I was shaking so hard I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I was cold and hurt. My throat burned, my body ached._

_I had my arms so tightly wrapped around my stomach that it was hard to breathe. _

_I was home. _

_I was safe._

_I was with John. _

_He was crying taking in my appearance. The sadness turned to anger as he stood us up. I couldn't stand, too bruised and tired that my feet wouldn't take it. He caught me in his arms and lifted me bridal style holding me with all his strength._

"_I told you Janie! Why didn't you listen to me? You could've died tonight!" He yelled, "We're going to the hospital to get you checked out." He started towards the house, and I pushed against his chest to stop._

"_NO! We can't! I can't! I can't let anyone know! I'm so embarrassed John. I can't. Please I'm begging you. I can't. I'm fine. I'm fine!" I screamed the last part._

"_You're not fucking fine Janie! Look at you. Do you even know what you look like? For fucks sake! He nearly beat you to death. It's four in the fucking morning and you walked here from where? Where did he leave you?" He was crying again, and I couldn't help myself. I sobbed with him._

"_Out in the fucking country. I've been walking for hours. I... I was such a fool, John. I was such a fucking fool. Please. You can't tell anyone about this. We have to keep this a secret."_

_He ran his finger over my swollen eye, then my lip. " Jane, there's no way to keep this a secret. Do you even know what you look like?" He took off his coat and slipped it over me. I was grateful for the warmth and the cover up._

"_What am I gonna do?" I cried into my hands._

"_WE are going to get out of here. I have some money saved up. We can find a hotel. Stay there until you're face is at least healed." I nodded in agreement. _

_He took me over to his car and set me inside. I locked the doors behind him as he told me he was going to put a bag of clothes together for each of us and grab some money. He came back a few minutes later with a huge duffel bag and a blanket for me. He left a note for his mom who was working an over night at the hospital and we were off. _

_For the next month we stayed in a small motel in New Mexico. I didn't leave the room, not once. John left to get us food a few times a week, otherwise never left my side. He held me and comforted me while my body healed. _

_Emotionally I was a wreck, but physically I began to heal._

I grabbed the book from him and closed it. "I think that's enough. Jasper was in so much trouble when we got back. His Mama grounded him forever. But he did it for me. He was, and is the best friend I could ever ask for." I said, trying to not look at the green eyes that I knew were staring at me.

Edward pulled me into his lap and held onto me tightly. I groaned as his grip was too tight against my bruises and he let up slightly. "I'm so sorry, B. I'm so fucking sorry that he hurt you like that. I wish I could take all of your pain away baby." Tears streamed down his cheeks.

I rubbed the side of his cheek comforting him like he did for me. "I know E. I know. But it was a long time ago. I went to counseling for many years to know that it wasn't my fault and to not blame myself. I'm stronger today than I've been. Seeing James in California definitely triggered my emotions though, and even though I'm stronger, I'm not stupid. I'd never fall for his shit again. I won't _ever _fall for his shit again."

Edward kissed me on the lips as we leaned our foreheads together. "B, thank you for sharing your past with me. I can't even imagine how hard that was for you. I bet your writing has really been a good release for you."

"Yes it's been my form of healing. But like I said, I'm stronger now, and don't feel as though I need to heal anymore. Well until this weekend happened. But I don't look at it as a step back. I will move forward, because this, " I motioned between us. "us, is too important to me. I'm willing to work on us if... that is, if you are."

"B, I know this is really shitty timing and all. And please don't think I'm saying this because of what happened." He stared into my eyes. "B, I love you. I fucking love you and have since the first time I saw you in the bar. I fucking love everything about you, and I'm not going anywhere."

I wrapped my arms around his neck as he nuzzled into my chest. "I fucking love you too, E. I mean I love you. I wanted to tell you for so long now, but didn't want to rush things. I fucking love you baby."

I kissed him hard on the lips as he kissed me back. His hands made their way across my body, letting me feel the love I'd been missing, not feeling any of the pain from my sore body, when Jasper walked in and lay down on my bed behind us. _Bad fucking time Jazz. Shoo! Go find Allie and WELCOME her home._

"Don't let me interrupt anything." We kept kissing, ignoring Jasper, enjoying our moment together. "Ok, I didn't mean that so literally. Edward if you could stop mauling Bell for a minute so I don't vomit on the two of you?"

We released each other from the chokehold we were in and looked back at Jasper, who was laying on his side staring at us with a smirk on his face.

"Bell, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jasper asked, and I knew he meant _alone_.

Edward stared at me for assurance that I was ok. I nodded and he lifted me off his lap, stood us up and kissed me on the forehead. He looked at Jasper before walking out of my bedroom and shutting the door.

**A/N: So the truth is out there. Edward was a trooper to sit through it and realize it was Bella in her book. The next chapter is the second part of 'the talk' with Edward and Jasper, and it gets heated... stay tuned to find out.**

**Also, I'm not stupid, and I know that you need to be at least 18 to rent a hotel room, but for the sake of the story, and rebels with fake I.D.'s, Jasper was able to get a room for him and B at the ripe old age of 17.**

**Edward's POV is next because I'm sure you're all dying to find out what's going on in that sexy mind of his after finding out so much about his Love.**

**Now...push the Review button and say hello!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So here's the second part of the conversation. Jazz and E get a bit heated...**

**Thanks for sticking with me through the last chapter. I heard from several people that it was hard to read, but in all honesty, when is rape and abuse on a female not hard to read? I'm the real deal ladies, and I'm not about to skim over something uncomfortable like that. If I'm going to do this story thing, I'm not going to do it half ass.**

**Thanks again to everyone who's reviewed. We've got a little following, but a good one. I appreciate every one of you! Remember, the more reviews, the faster I update. I am already up to Chapter 29 in writing, so...it's up to you guys how fast I post.**

Chapter 11: Comfort in Whiskey and Rum

EPOV

Bella's book was her story_. It was her fucking story!_ I was nauseated to say the least when she nodded her head in agreement. My beautiful angel had gone through more in her short lifetime than most people do all together.

No one should _ever _have to go through..._that._

She made me read _out loud_ from her book. My stomach churned just a little more with each word spoken knowing that it was _her _in that situation, not just some girl that was faceless and nameless to me.

Those passages in particular were ones that I had only read over once, as they were too painful to stay in my mind. And now I had to read them again, _to her_. To the person that this all happened to. Bella lived this life. It wasn't just a fictional story, it was hers, and she was strong enough to share it with me.

Bella stared down at her hands, which were in her lap silently crying as I read. My voice was shaky as shit and I had to keep swallowing the fucking knot in my throat that was threatening to make itself known. If there was ever a time in my life that I didn't want my pansy ass to make itself known, it was right fucking now. I didn't need to make this worse on her.

I begged Bella not to make me continue. I was so uncomfortable, and felt like if I read the words out loud that it would make them true. _Hell, I already knew they were true._ From the things that Jasper told us at the shop that night, I put two and two together and knew it was my Bella in the book before tonight, but didn't want to admit it to myself.

I felt physically ill reading about her past. He raped her repeatedly. That piece of shit beat her.

_My _Angel.

I _hate _that fucker!

James, just thinking his name made my insides boil with desire to kill the asstard that touched her.

How the fuck did Jasper deal with this shit for so fucking long? And my mind asks me why he didn't go behind her back and turn the fucker in, but Bella had her powers over him as she does me. I would do fucking anything for that girl.

Jasper would too.

And that's why he kept her story silent.

This shit must've surely fucked him up inside and out.

No wonder Jasper's been attached at the hip to B all their lives. It makes total fucking sense why he's been with her through all the book tours, moves, everything. _How has it taken me this long to figure this shit out?_

I swear to God today was like I had an epiphany, and was finally starting figure things out. _Well more than I already was,_ but today just solidified the evidence that I had.

I sat on the couch in Bella's living room while Jasper talked to her. I lit a cigarette and took pull after pull trying to find a little release, something to calm my nerves.

_And what was with the weed before?_ I hadn't known my girl that long, but she'd never said anything about weed. I was no saint that was for fucking sure, but I didn't like the idea of her smoking it up.

Call me a hypocrite for my past, but fuck, I wanted better for her.

I leaned my head into my hands and rested them on my knee's. The thought of not wanting to be 'us' was almost as painful as reading those filthy words that filled her book. Of course I wanted to be with Bella. I wanted it with everything in my body. Little did she know that she quickly became the only thing that I truly cared about anymore.

The entire time she was in Cali. I couldn't focus, I couldn't really even breathe.

She told me her story, she _trusted_ me with her story, and I was so taken back by that trust. I tried to wrap my mind around everything that she had told me and was overwhelmed with my rage to fuck James up.

Bella was right though. She was strong, _we_ were strong, and we would get through this together.

I'd never let Bella leave my side again. _That sounds a bit possessive for a new relationship, shit!_

Not on another damn trip at least.

I knew exactly _why _Jasper was the way he was with her, and was never happier to know that another man was taking care of my baby.

I think that's the only time that I will ever say that_. Ever._

If it weren't Jasper, my jealous side would be making an appearance. The mad man would be released and there would be hell to pay. I laughed to myself thinking about the possibilities. Any other man, well other than my brother, would've paid a huge price for the way they were with Bella. I was a possessive fool, but only because I loved her like I did.

I leaned back against the couch and let my head fall back. My mind was over flowing with information about my girl. I was hurt and pissed and scared for her.

Too many emotions at once.

I closed my eyes thinking about all the shit that was thrown at me, when I heard Jasper yell from Bella's bedroom. I looked over, practically jumping of the couch from the door slamming against the wall to see Bella moving past Jasper as he pushed the door open to follow her out.

I jumped up like a fucking cat ready to attack the fucker for making my girl cry as she cuddled into my chest right where she belonged.

"What do you mean you saw _him _here in the city? When?" Jasper was screaming at her from behind. She was crying again. She looked scared. I wrapped my arms around her loosely, kissing her forehead and rubbing circles on her back trying not to cause her any pain.

"What the hell's going on, Whitlock?" I asked angrily, not taking my eyes off my girl. I leave him alone with her for two seconds and she comes out crying, not cool at all.

"Tell him Bell. Cause if I didn't fucking know, you sure as hell didn't tell him!" Jasper yelled while throwing his hands in the air.

Bella looked down again. I pulled her chin up with my finger so she was looking at me. She didn't say anything for several minutes and I swear I was ready to go ape shit on something waiting for her to explain whatever the fuck it was she needed to say.

"James. I saw him a few weeks ago. I was reading at a coffee shop while Jasper and Alice were at the park. He just stood outside staring at me through the window. Never came in. And when I looked up again, he was gone." Her voice was shaky as she spoke, scared of my reaction. I knew my eyes gave me away. They always did.

I pulled her tightly into my side and brought us over to the couch trying with my best effort to keep my cool. Jasper followed and sat across from us in a chair.

I tried to be comforting. I tried to be relaxed. But the mad man was coming out and I was losing my grip. I didn't want to scare her, but my anger took over. James, the man that repeatedly beat and raped her was here in the city, for how long, I wasn't sure, but he was here and she didn't feel the need to tell anyone. _That's seriously fucked up._

"Are you fucking serious? What the fuck, B? Why the fuck didn't you tell us?" I didn't mean it to come out so harshly, but I was so pissed that she was keeping secrets, especially after all the shit that went down. _And damn it, I wanted to know!_

"I wasn't thinking." She said as she looked down at her hands. Her voice was barely a whisper. She was not the confidant woman that I was in love with when she was like this.

"Bell. Fucking Christ! This is it! I'm done with this shit! I called Ben and he's doing some research for us. He should be getting back to me in the next week or so. And when we find James, YOU. ARE. PRESSING. CHARGES. You got it?" Jasper was fucking livid and having a hard time controlling his own anger. His hands clenched and unclenched into fists.

He had every right to be pissed. He'd watched Bella go through this too many times. I don't know how he kept sane this long. I was about to go off any second with the thought of that fucker anywhere near _my _Bella.

Alice knocked on the door and let herself in. She could see the fight brewing and sat next to Jasper trying to calm him down.

"Yes Jazz. I got it. I'm done. I throw in the towel." Her shoulders slumped over as the tears spilled down her cheeks. "I was so embarrassed as a kid that he did this to me, but... I can't go on like this. I mean, mentally I'm fine. Or at least I will be. I don't feel like I used too, but I can't be afraid that he's going to find me wherever I go. I want to live." She looked over at me, and took my hand in hers. "I want _us_ to live."

I smiled at her letting her tears soften me as I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "We will baby. We will." My voice had calmed and I tried to control my reaction for her knowing that my anger issues were only going to make things worse.

"Until he's in jail Bell, you are not to go _ANYWHERE_ without Edward, me or Emmett. Not alone with the girls not what so ever." Bella nodded in agreement. Jasper was over protective as shit, but I didn't mind. Not this time. He was looking out for her best interest and I knew that.

"He saw Rose and Alice too." Bella said in that small voice again. _Well fuck me, of course he saw them too, damn it!_

"They won't be out of eye sight either." I assured her. She nodded in agreement and stood up.

"I'm so sorry for dragging you into this Alice!" Bella looked at Alice. Both of them crying and having an unspoken conversation. "I should've never put you in the middle of all this. I should've never told you."

This confused me. "What to do you mean, _told her_? Told her what?"

I shot a glance at my sister wondering what the fuck else I didn't know. This was getting rediculous already.

Alice looked at the ground as she spoke. "I knew about James being in California and the coffee shop..._and the mall_." She said it in barely a whisper knowing that shit was about to hit the fan.

Bella shot her a glance. _One more thing we didn't know about I guess_. My hands tightened into fists ready to hit or break something.

Jasper pulled away from Alice, standing abruptly and slamming his fist into the wall. I stood and was ready to calm him if he needed it, but what I really wanted to do was join in the destruction, not giving a flying fuck what I was hitting or destroying.

"What the fuck Alice? You fucking knew and you didn't tell anyone? Are you fucking kidding me?" Jasper was screaming at my little sister, and I was _not_ comfortable for her to be treated like that.

I made my way over to him and put my hand on his chest giving him a glare telling him that he'd said enough.

"Calm down, Whitlock." I stared at him in the eyes so he would get my drift. He pushed my hand back as he paced.

I placed myself in between him and the girls. They were both scared and upset, shaking with tears. Alice cried while Bella held her in her arms as they sat together in the recliner.

Jasper wasn't going to hurt either of them; I knew that for a fact, but he was fucking angry as all hell, and I didn't want his anger to scare the girls any more than it already had.

"I won't fucking calm down Cullen, and neither should you! Are you fucking kidding me? Alice? Come on! You knew what was going on and you still didn't say shit!" He was screaming at her. Alice jumped at the sound of his voice yelling at her, I could tell that she was really starting to get scared.

"Back _off_ Whitlock. I'm serious! Calm the fuck down bro." I yelled in his direction. He wouldn't make eye contact with me, and I was about two seconds away from _making _him look at me.

"I'm sorry Jazz! Bella told me not to tell, that it was no big deal. I didn't want to betray her trust!" Alice cried harder while Bella looked guilty as fuck.

I knelt down in front of Alice rubbing her knee trying to comfort my baby sister.

"Sweetie, there are things you keep a secret, and things you don't, you should have told us." I looked at Bella angrily for putting Alice in this situation. "_You_ shouldn't have made her promise."

Bella was crying, but I couldn't find it in myself to lighten my tone. I was pissed that she put Alice in the middle of all of this and she was going to know it. "You don't think I know that? I feel awful for putting her in the middle of this fucked up mess! I fucked up! Jazz, you should be mad at me, not Alice."

"Oh, I am mad at you Bell! Don't you worry your pretty little head about that, but Alice knows better than this! She knew about your past and that you aren't safe when it comes to fucking James!" He stared at Alice, and seen the hurt look on her face. He started to lose the angry edge seeing how much Alice was hurting. _About fucking time!_

I was just as pissed about Alice knowing and not telling anyone, but knew it wasn't going to do anyone any good for me to go off. Alice continued to cry into Bella's chest as Jasper continued to pace trying to calm himself down.

I got up after rubbing her arm and started towards Jasper's direction.

"J, you gotta settle. It isn't going to do any of us any good at this point to get all hot headed and say things we're gonna regret. You're not really mad at Alice and B. You're mad at James. That's who we're going to take this out on. Come on. Lets get a shot and chill." I stared into his eyes until he nodded his head in agreement.

"You're wrong, E. I'm fucking pissed as hell at the two of them." He pointed a finger in there direction as he ran his hand through his hair. He took a deep breath as calmness was starting to settle in. "But you're right to, it's James that's got me on fire."

I went to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of Jack and didn't even bother grabbing a glass. I took a huge swig and passed it to Jasper. He took several drinks before passing it back. He stood there for several seconds letting the alcohol settle in his system. After several minutes, a cigarette and a few more shots, Jasper visibly looked calmer.

Jasper knelt down in front of Alice and rubbed her legs. His demeanor had relaxed greatly and he looked as if he was ready to come to terms with his actions.

"Allie, I'm so sorry sweetie! I didn't mean to get so mad. Please say you can forgive me." He put his head in her lap like a lost puppy. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm sorry!"

Alice put her hands in his hair and kissed the top of his head as she held him there. They sat like that for several minutes before speaking again.

Bella was standing in the corner of the room biting on her nails and I took to pacing again.

"Y-yeah Jazzy. I forgive you. But please don't yell at me like that ever again. You scared the fuck out of me. And I am sorry baby, I really am." She looked at Bella. "We won't do something like this ever again."

"Promise." Alice and Bella said together as they looked at one another.

If I didn't know Jasper, I would've gone off the fucking handle for treating my sister the way he did. But I knew _why _he was pissed and also that he wouldn't hurt her. After watching Bella go through what she did, he'd never lay a hand on a woman.

Jasper and Alice remained in each other's arms as they came down from the awful high they were on. I pulled a cigarette out, lit it, throwing the pack on the table for everyone else, which was then passed the circle. The bottle of Jack was passed around as well until it was empty. _And I was flying high._

Jasper was beating himself up for the way he treated Alice. Part of me thought the fucker _should _be beating himself up for the way he went off, but the other part of me knew why he did what he did and felt bad for him.

I threw myself into a recliner taking pull after pull on my cig thinking about the things that Bella felt she needed to keep secret from me. Why was she keeping more secrets? _What the fuck was she thinking?_

Once Jasper was done apologizing to Alice, he made his way to Bella.

Jasper grabbed her in a hug and whispered _'I'm sorry'_ over and over to her as they rocked with one another. I knew this was a personal moment, but I couldn't leave her. Nor would I ever leave her again. Bella was mine. And I say that not as she's my property, but that I love her, and no one would ever fuck with her again. She would never be hurt again. I would make damn sure of it.

Alice and I sat and waited as they held each other and figured their shit out. I hugged my baby sister and comforted her while she finished with her tears.

Alice left shortly after saying she needed some room to breath. _I didn't blame her._

Bella was being standoffish and I needed to make things right between us. _Yeah, I was pissed as all hell that she hid that shit from me, but I needed her to know that I still loved her._

"B?" I was still sitting in the recliner and signaled for her to come sit on my lap. She slowly walked over and stood in front of me unsure of what to do. I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to my lap.

She placed her hands on my chest looking down at them. She was no longer crying but had a solemn expression across her face.

"I'm sorry, E. I don't know why I didn't tell you guys. I just figured nothing had happened yet and I didn't want you to get upset over nothing."

I placed my finger under her chin so that she was looking at me.

"Baby, I'm pissed that you didn't tell me, and even more pissed that you put Alice in the middle of it, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you. We're gonna fight. It's what couples do." I kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear. "Besides, we can't have angry make up sex if we don't fight, and I'm not wanting to miss out on that, or any kind of sex with you for that matter." _Really Cullen? Haven't even had sex yet, and already letting her know what you want. Good one._

I kissed her forehead as she leaned into my chest as she giggled at my innuendos. I could feel her body relaxing inch by inch.

"I know. I won't be that stupid again. If I see him, you'll be the first to know. Ok?"

I nodded in agreement and held her there for a while. We were both fucking spent from all of the emotions that had come out today, and on top of it, she was probably jet lagged and still trying to recoup from the weekend.

Later that evening after things had calmed, Jasper and I convinced Bella that we needed to take pictures for evidence. Although the thought of another guy seeing my girl half clothed made me burn inside, I knew that Jasper probably saw her entirely naked several times throughout the course of their friendship_. I had to bury the mad man deep down so he wouldn't make his presence known._

Bella took off her shirt and was standing in a white sports bra. Jasper looked down with a smile playing across his lips, he was blushing. _Seriously Whitlock? You act like you've never seen a pair of tits before._

"It's not like you haven't seen this all before." Bella said to him tight lipped motioning with her hand to her chest.

Jasper looked up at her with a small smile. "Yeah, but I swear you didn't have _those_ the last time I saw you like this." He motioned with his hand towards her chest like she just did. He was talking about the piercings that were quite visible through the thin fabric. _Perv._

Bella smiled and looked at me. I looked back at her with a comforting smile. She wrapped her arms over her chest clearly embarrassed. I wrapped her in a hug and whispered in her ear.

"Don't be embarrassed, love. I'm not. I fucking love them." I kissed below her ear as she blushed and looked down at her feet.

"It doesn't bother you at all that Jasper's staring at my chest?" She teased back.

"At first it did, but I figured with you guys being friends so long, that it probably wasn't the first time." I kissed her cheek and neck. "Besides, if he doesn't stop, then I'll just poke his eyes out, because really, you don't need your eyes to work, right?" I looked up at Jasper who only shook his head as he laughed off my comment, his middle finger coming up slowly aimed directly at me, before it was put down again.

"Come on Bell. Alice has hers done to. Nothing to be embarrassed about." Jasper was playing with the camera trying not to stare anymore than necessary. _Smart man_.

I knew Alice had several piercings, but the thought of another man seeing them was making me nauseous. I was about to ream Jasper out when Bella surprised me once again.

"I know. She showed me the day she did my first one." Bella spoke up literally knocking the shit out of me.

I swear I heard Jasper moan, and even though it was my sister, the thought of Bella seeing another girl's tits, probably when hers were out too, was such a turn on. Jasper shifted himself and I had to laugh at the poor bastard.

"So, were you both topless, and like feeling each other up?" Bella looked at him like he was a pervert. He was such a pervert. "cuz that's what I have in my head right now. But just the thought of Alice touching your tit is enough for me."

Bella threw a fork at him, he ducked just in the nick of time. Poor fool. Why would you talk about it in front of the girl?

_Come on, that's shoptalk when they aren't around._

_What a child._

"Ok, ok. Sorry. That image just got me all hot and bothered Bell." Jasper said as Bella began to blush a deep red.

"You and me both buddy. You and me both." I barely whispered the words, but apparently not low enough. Bella jabbed me in the side, as Jasper let out a loud laugh.

"Ok, so now that the children in this room have arrived," She looked over at both of us. "Can we get this show on the road?"

She was nervous. I could tell this wasn't something that she wanted to do, but I was so grateful that she was finally giving in. I can't even imagine how torn up Jasper must've been for the last 10 years. I rubbed her back gently, trying not to put pressure on her scratches noticing more now than I ever had before the scars that she had across her back. I had asked her about them one other time, but she simply stated _'Jake'_ as her answer.

Jasper nodded for us to get started.

He took pictures starting with her neck. The bruises were still blue, but were starting to turn brown/yellow. You could clearly make out the long fingers that held her so harshly. Then we moved down to her arms and took pictures from several angles. Again, you could literally make out the hand that held her there. Bella closed her eyes and unzipped her pants, letting them sit low on her hips so Jasper could get the bruises that were prominent over her hipbone.

Normally having my girl stripped down like this would be such a turn on, but this was not a normal case. _'Little E' _stayed silent in my pants where he belonged.

I was a limp as a dead fish, not wanting to think about how those bruises got there.

Bella turned away from Jasper towards me and slipped off her bra so that he could get all of her back. She held her chest securely while I lifted her hair so he could get the entire thing. Her breasts were less than an inch from my chest. _Her bare breasts._

When he was done, she put her shirt back on, minus the bra. _Yeah, I'm a guy and would notice that kind of shit._

She said she wanted to take a bath. I kissed her softly before she walked out and I heard the bath water start.

I pulled myself up onto the counter and stared at Jasper who was sitting on the counter across from me. He lit a cigarette then threw me his pack.

"What the fuck are we gonna to do, Whitlock?" I asked taking a hard pull.

"I don't know man. I do know, however, that he's going down this time. I've told her so many times that I'd keep her safe and that this would never happen again, and look what the fuck happened." His eyes were glossy with unshed tears trying to hold them back. "I wasn't there for her. I knew I should've gone with her. But he hadn't been around in the last year, and I thought we were safe. I fucked up, and I should've gone with."

"You can't put this on yourself. As much as it kills me to say this, what happened, happened, and there isn't anything that we can do about it. We can't go back and change anything. She's strong and we'll get her through this. But what the fuck are we gonna do? I'm not just going to sit back and allow some cocksucker to mess my girl up like that. We gotta do something man!" I was trying to control my voice not wanting Bella to over hear.

"My buddy Ben is digging up some shit on him. He's a detective back in Chicago and has access to his files. And I _know _he has files. I'm sure Bella isn't his only victim." Jasper leaned his head back against the cupboard and banged it there a few times.

"I need to see pictures of him Jasper. I need to know what I'm up against. If that fucker ever touches her again, or even looks at her, I will kill him. I won't hold back." I clenched my fists together in anger, before flicking a glass off the counter, listening to it shatter while it hit the ground. "Sorry." Jasper just nodded at me seeming to not care about my little 'accident'.

We both stared at the glass not making any attempt to clean it up.

"I know man. I'm right there with you. Here's the plan. Until we hear back from my buddy, those girls don't go anywhere by themselves. I was talking to Emmett about this while you and Bell were _proclaiming your love _for each other." He rolled his eyes at me.

"Yeah, we were and it was fucking awesome." I didn't even blush, as I wasn't ashamed of that shit. "But that was after she told me about her past. God. Fuck Jasper! How the fuck could someone do that to her?" My mind raced with everything that she had told me.

"I don't know E. I don't know. But I'm glad she told you. I knew that night at the shop I couldn't tell you everything, it wasn't my story to tell." He took another pull. "So anyways, I talked to Emmett, and Rose has a photo shoot this week out in Cali. again. He got that guy Tiny to work again. He'll be with her the entire time. From what the girls said, no one would fuck with this guy. And Alice and Bell will be with us. Between the three of us, they'll be more than safe."

"He was here. In New York. I can't believe she didn't tell us that she saw him. Well, I can believe it, I just don't understand _why _she feels she needs to hide this shit." I ran both of my hands through my hair before grabbing another smoke.

"Yeah. I knew there was something wrong that night. Alice and I were at the park, and we were supposed to meet up with her like an hour later, and after I left her 10 messages, she called me back 4 hours later, dazed and confused." Jasper hopped down and pulled out a bottle of rum and took a swig, then passed me the bottle. "And as far as telling people, she's always been embarrassed to be used that way. She was only a kid when all this shit started and felt she brought it on herself. I tried to tell her for years that it wasn't her fault. And she doesn't want to be the victim. After years of dragging her to counseling, and I mean _dragging_, she started to open up and trust herself. I'm the only one she's ever let in."

"What about her friends back home?" Jasper shook his head no. "Didn't she have any girlfriends she hung out with? College friends?"

"Back in elementary and high school we had a close group of friends, but after James came along, she cut everyone out. She felt that it was too dangerous to get anyone involved. She didn't want James knowing any other females that he could go after. When we moved after high school to Chicago it was just the two of us. That was the way it always was, until she met Jake. Because he was an old family friend it didn't take long for her to trust him, but you know how that one turned out. So no, she's never let anyone else in like she did you tonight. Whenever anyone asks about who the book is about, she says with the straightest face ever 'a very close friend that doesn't want to be identified.' Consider yourself one fucking lucky fool."

"I know how lucky I am." All the alcohol was starting to sink into my system, and I felt a knot in my throat that didn't want to be pushed down. I looked down at my swinging legs knowing how fucking lucky I was to have Bella in my life. And I wasn't going to fuck it up.

I wasn't the fucked up mess that I used to be, and I was going to be whatever she needed me to be. I know we'd only known eachother for a little over two months, but she was my life now, and I was ready to put her up on the pedestal she belonged on.

"E, man, I gotta tell you. If you fuck around with her, I won't hold back. I will fuck you up." Jasper said while taking another swig. "I love you like a brother, but she comes first. She will always come first. I can't break my promise to her again. I won't let her get hurt... again."

"If I do fuck it up with her, which I won't, you have my permission to do whatever you feel necessary." I said with a smile on my face. "But really bro, I can see how my sister looks at you, and if you feel half for her as what she feels about you, you need to put her first in your life and let me take care of my girl like I should."

"Without a doubt, I love Allie with all my heart. I almost feel torn between my two girls. One is not above the other, but I won't turn my back on Bell either. She's always been my life, and I know I have to get used to someone being her knight, but I won't ever stop trying to protect her." Jasper had tears in his eyes. I could tell this shit had been eating him up for the past 10 years and he was finally getting some kind of release from the pain.

I jumped off the counter and walked over the glass to him and placed my hand on his shoulder. I waited for a second before I spoke, wanting to make my words clear.

"Jasper, I'm asking this as your friend and bro. Take care of my sister, and I'll take care of yours. I'm not trying to take your place in B's life; I hope that you'll always be around to protect her. Although she doesn't think she needs it, she does. And I think it makes her feel safer to know that she has a protector. But let me take care of her. She's my life now. I'll do whatever I have to, to show both you and Bella that I'm not going anywhere."

"Deal." Jasper held out his hand and we shook on it.

"But seriously, you gotta fucking control that temper of yours. You were two seconds away from being knocked on your ass for the way you yelled at my girl and sister. Watch it!" The last part I tried to joke with him about, I'd had enough of this serious shit for one day.

"From what I've seen and heard from Allie, you gotta a temper of your own. Tell you what; I'll keep mine in check if you do. Ok?"

I nodded in agreement. I did have a temper. If he only knew how bad it really was.

Jasper's eyes were blood shot as he looked up at me trying to push out a smile. He grabbed my other arm and pulled me into a hug just as Emmett walked in the door. He didn't knock, which was typical of him, and stood in the doorway staring at our arms around each other.

"What the fuck is this? I didn't come down here for a dick party, fuckers." He said with a smile on his face, as we pulled apart. "I hope you already got the blow jobs out of the way, because as much as I love you fools, I will have no part in that."

The three of us broke out laughing, as Emmett came over to us and wrapped his arms around Jasper and I for a two second guy hug, saying something about feeling left out under his breath. My big ass brother covered in tattoos that could pass for hulk was a fucking sap. _But I loved him for it, and so did the girls._

The six of us were becoming a family. _And I felt_ whole. I felt that I was finally finding the missing piece to my life. Not only was Bella the missing piece, but also Jasper made Alice whole, which in turn relaxed the shit out of me.

At 26 I'd never found love, well that was up until Bella walked in my life. And I'm happy as fuck to admit she's my first true love, and my last if I had anything to say about it.

Emmett broke up my self-talk by grabbing the bottle of rum I had in my hand.

"Where's Rose and Tink?" I asked worried realizing the blonde he always had on his shoulder didn't follow him.

First day on the job and we were already leaving the girls alone. _Well aren't we the almighty protectors!_

"They're at your place. Rose wanted to talk to Alice about the weekend. To make sure everything was ok and while you and Bella Barbie were proclaiming yourselves to each other," _There were no fucking secrets anymore!_ I punched Emmett in the arm as he ruffled my hair. "the rest of us were busy getting some history from Jasper about Bella."

I looked over at Jasper with an evil eye knowing he gave them dirt on Bella's history. _Not his story to tell huh?_

"Hey man," He said with his arms in front of him blocking me from pounding him. "I only told them to look closer at her book and they made their own assumptions. They had a right to know, and you know it. We're all here for Bell. You are not her only protector E."

There really are no secrets with these nosy bitches around.

Emmett clapped me on the back. "E. She's my sister too, you know. I love her. And no one's going to touch her." Emmett was now smiling. "Do you think a guy would try anything with me around? And if he knew your past, I don't think he'd even try."

"Yeah yeah." I said shaking my head. My past. "I know."

"Just to let you guys know, he won't try anything while you're around. He wants to get her alone. He thinks she's weaker that way. But from what Rose and Allie said about their own experience with him, Bell was strong and stood up to him. She isn't as weak as I sometimes think." Jasper looked over at Emmett. "And your Rose man, She's a feisty one isn't she? Allie said she got right in his face."

"Yeah, that's my baby alright. Not scared of anything. She's never had to be." Emmett said smiling, and then his face turned down. "I'll talk to her about that though. In any other circumstance, I'd tell her to fuck up a guy if needed, but she obviously didn't know what this fuck was capable of. I don't know what I would do if it was my girl in this case."

I nodded in agreement. I looked over at Jasper who had the same expression on his face. Bella was both our girls, only in two different lights. Their relationship was not romantic, but family, and I wasn't about to stand in the way of the only family she had.

My eyes felt tired as fuck. Looking at the microwave behind me, I saw that it was close to midnight. I heard the water draining in the tub and finished the last pull on my smoke. Emmett and Jasper took off giving us some privacy. Jasper was staying over at my place with Allie. I cleaned up the glass on the floor and mentally added new glasses to the list of shit I needed to replace when I went shopping this weekend.

I shut off the lights in the kitchen after locking the front door and made my way over to Bella's room and laid on her bed waiting. A few minutes later she emerged in just a bath towel looking startled to see me lying there.

As much as I should have looked away so that she didn't feel uncomfortable, I couldn't. My dick twitched at the naked sight of her, and then my heart literally hurt seeing the bruises lining her perfect body.

_I am such a fucker._

"Sorry to scare you. I thought I could sleep over, if it's ok with you?" I asked praying she wouldn't send me away. She smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"You never have to ask E. My bed is yours." She came over to the side of the bed and sat down next to me and kissed my lips. "And only yours."

I smiled up at her, rubbing my hand across her waist. The pervert in me came out and I snuck my fingers in the opening of her towel. I kept my eyes on hers getting the silent ok. The last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable after her shitty weekend and the fucker that had his hands on her.

I wanted to comfort her and love her.

_Oh who the fuck was I kidding, I wanted to fuck the shit out of her. Bruises and all._

Bastard was I.

But I wasn't going to do that. My cock would remain in my pants where it belonged, because I loved Bella, and was going to think with my head for once instead of the man down below.

She stood up and dropped the towel to the floor and stood before me, staring down at my bulging pants with a smile on her face. I tried to be a gentleman and not stare at her beautiful pierced nipples in front of me, but I couldn't help it.

_I was the fucking devil._

I held out my arms for her and she sat on my lap straddling me naked as the day she was born.

_She had to have felt my dick twitch underneath her as I told it to calm the fuck down._

My mind took over from my body and I just held her there, lightly rubbing her back as she fell deeper into my arms.

I kissed her neck and arms over her bruised skin. I rubbed her back lightly over the scratches, massaging her hips eliciting the hottest moans ever from her.

My dick continued to twitch asking me when it could come out and play.

_I would need to have a talk with him later and remind him of manners._

"I love you B. I hope you know that." I said kissing her bare shoulder.

"As I love you. And I do know, but it's still nice to hear. And just to ease your mind, I'm not going to pull away and I'm not going anywhere. I heard a good amount of your conversation with Jasper and I'm done running from James. He's going to pay for what he did to me. And I'm ready to take ownership to my book. It's my story, and I'm proud of where I've come from." She stared at me smiling, a few tears streaming down her cheeks that I caught with my fingers.

"B. You are my life now, and I won't ever leave you. I know it's only been a few months, but I've never felt this strongly about anything in my life. We need each other and we both know it. I love you and you're my Bella. Just as I'm yours." I said kissing her neck. She stared at me for a second before I felt her shiver. I stood her up with me and led her to her dresser. "Come on, find something to wear before my dick comes out and mauls you. I'm exhausted, and if I am, you must be a zombie."

She smiled at me before picking out a tank top and boy shorts to wear to bed.

_Ugh... she really was going to be the death of me_. The shorts, if you even wanted to call them that were navy blue and hugged her ass so tight in all the right places.

_She was the devil._

Good thing I was becoming used to my daily cold showers, and my left hand.

Oh, and lotion.

_Never thought I would love Jergens so much._

I stripped down to my boxers and crawled into bed, patting the space next to me for her. Bella lay down in my arms, where she stayed tightly clung to me all night. I didn't fall asleep until she did and held her, enjoying the warmth I had been missing.

Bella was safe with me.

She was home.

James was going to pay for what he did to my girl.

**A/N: So...Allie and Jazz had a bit of a confrontation, but he really is a good guy and we all know it.**

**I don't know about you, but angry Edward is such a turn on!!!**

**Remember, I like when the lurkers come out and say hi. I've had several people do just that. Keep it up; it puts a crooked smile on my face, just like Edwards!**

**All you have to do is push the little button now...**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Here's chapter 12, and I have to say it wasn't my favorite chapter to write, but I promise I make up for it in the next chapter.**

**Thanks to all who have reviewed!! I respond to each and every one, so please don't be shy!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns everything Twilight. I on the other hand, own two copies of Twilight, because I couldn't wait for the first copy to be shipped, and went out and bought it, and then the one I ordered showed up the next day. Go figure...**

Chapter 12: Shattered Glass

BPOV

The next morning I woke in Edward's arms. My body was sore, but nothing I couldn't handle. A few pills and I would be good to go for the day.

Edward was still sleeping; so I just laid there watching him, smile full across his face. Even in his sleep he looked like an Angel. _My Angel_. His steel hard erection was pressed tightly against my stomach and I couldn't be happier for the effect I had on him. He was beautiful, handsome, caring, and the best was that he loved me.

And he _obviously_ wanted me.

My first instinct had always been to run and bury the feelings I had down deep, but after my years of counseling, I learned that I would only fall back if I kept that behavior up, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

I wanted my life to move forward.

With Edward.

I gave in, and agreed that I would press charges on James. The tricky part now was that we needed to find him. We had never attempted to seek out where James was as I wasn't ready to deal with going public for the shit that he did to me.

But I was ready now. The last straw for me was what went down last night with Jasper, Edward and Alice. I don't ever want to have to go through something like that again, or put someone in the middle like I did.

I felt like utter and total shit for not telling the guys about seeing James and for getting Alice involved. I struggled with those thoughts the entire time Edward and Jasper chewed us out. I felt like a monster for the way that Jasper yelled at Alice knowing that it was me he should have been yelling at.

It was my fault he was so angry with her.

I had never seen Jasper that made in my entire life. Sure he yelled at me from time to time about the stupid shit I've done, but never had I seen his temper boil over like that. But I guess after dealing with me and all my shit for so many years he reached his breaking point. Deep down I knew that it wasn't Jasper talking, he was upset with the two of us yes, but his rage came from James and his games. I was scared being yelled at, but Jasper was my best friend and would never hurt me.

And Edward... well fuck me, if I wasn't the stupidest broad to have ever walked this planet. I knew how upset he was, and kicked myself over and over again for the way I acted.

One word sums it up. _Childish_.

I wasn't thinking about anyone except myself.

When I told Alice that I had seen James again, I just wanted to get it off my chest and take some of the pressure off _myself._ I never took into consideration that I was putting her in the middle of the damn circus. And with Edward and Jasper, I didn't want them getting mad or violent for no reason.

If I could go back just, I would have done things completely different. One thing about me is that I learn from my mistakes and will _never_ make this one again.

That morning after apologizing to Edward as much as he would allow, we dressed and met Jasper to go down to the police department to file my charge. It took a bit of coaxing and self talk to keep to my decision, but eventually we made it out the door.

Emmett went with Alice and Rose to open the shop and we were going to meet them there later. Filling out the police report felt embarrassing as I knew it would be, but also felt like the brick that had been on my chest for so long was being lifted. Edward never left my side and was my constant support.

Never would I replace Jazz from my life, but Edward was becoming more to me everyday. Jazz would always be there, but we both had people in our lives now that we had to take care of. It wasn't just the two of us anymore, but to tell you the truth, I was happy with that. We both had found people that made us feel content and complete.

_And they just so happen to be in the same family._

Rose left for her shoot on Wednesday, and wouldn't return until Sunday. Tiny was meeting her at the airport and staying with her the entire time. That relaxed Emmett and the rest of the guys for that matter. James was insane and God knows what he was capable of. I didn't know if he would go after Rose, but we were going to make damn sure that she was protected.

Emmett apparently was paying a God-awful amount of money for his services, which I didn't understand. They were tattoo artists, and I didn't think there was that much money in the industry. But I later found out that the Cullen's had a lot of money, and it was never an issue. On top of Carlisle being one of the most well respected surgeons in the city, Grandpa Mason had left Edward a nice trust fund. _A big trust fund_. The Cullen's grand parents had also been well off, owning Cullen Industries, a pharmaceutical company that closed several years ago. So no, money was not an issue. They just didn't flaunt what they had, except for Alice's weekly shopping sprees of course.

I spent all my time with the group over the next few days.

I wasn't left alone.

_At all._

And usually that would bother the piss out of me, but I understood why. I wasn't going to fight it. Fighting it would only make it worse. I knew why the guys were the way they were and there was no reason to fall back and act childish once again.

When Edward was busy, Emmett or Jasper would take me out for things I needed, or to go see my editor and I got to know Emmett even better with our time alone.

He was one funny fucker.

My police report had been filed on Monday, and it was now Friday. They were unable to track down James yet to serve him the papers, so we were left waiting. Jasper said that we should be hearing something soon from Ben.

We waited. It was kind of like watching a pot of water boil. Nothing happened for a long ass time. And the more I obsessed about finding him, the longer the time seemed to drag on.

Rose returned on Sunday and we had a family dinner together at our place. The 6 of us had turned into our own little family quickly. Add in several bottles of wine and it was one hell of a good time. It was unconventional, and a little like the Osbornes at times, but we were family.

And a family was something I had so little of; I soaked up all I could.

Rose brought home with her the portfolio they took from her shoot, and all the guys ogled over the swimsuits she had modeled. Alice and I were impressed with the rest of the line as well. _And maybe just a little annoyed that our men were drooling all over the pictures of Emmett's wife with us all present._

Then Rose pulled out a bag of swimwear that they let her take from the shoot and threw us each a few pieces. Edward's eyes went large at some of the skimpy bikinis, and I was mentally kicking New York weather for turning chilly in October.

_Why couldn't it be sunny and 80 year round?_

I wanted to make my man happy. And those swim suits definitely made him happy from the way his semi brushed against my thigh as I leaned into his chest. Yup, he stared at the pictures of Rose half naked, then had skimpy swimsuits thrown at him, and was harder than a fucking rock.

Not sure if that was a good thing or not, considering that it all stemmed from the pictures of his sister in law.

The next week went by with no word from Ben, and even less from the NYPD. James hadn't attempted further contact with me, and I was thankful that my bruises and scratches were healing. They were all but gone.

Thank God.

Edward hadn't tried anything with me since I got home and I was silently berating James any chance I got for taking away my happy time with my Edward. I guess I wouldn't have wanted anything intimate either if he looked like I had but I was craving some serious attention to the nether regions, and needed it soon.

I tried to please Edward as often as he would allow me, but he never gave into my requests saying that he didn't want to hurt me. Blowjobs had become my specialty, and I was more than willing to get on my knees and do some praying in front of him, but most of the time he said he was fine and didn't want me to go down on him if I couldn't get anything in return.

_I bought him a large bottle of Jergens at Sams Club and called it even._

Edward and I slept together every night either at his place or mine. Jasper and Alice were always together as well. I started to think that we should either all move in together or swap roommates. It was just a thought though. I didn't want to rush anything that he wasn't comfortable with.

And surprising enough, I couldn't believe I was comfortable with how fast things were going. But it all just felt right. The pieces of the puzzle were all starting to fall into place.

First time I could say that for myself.

Friday night we all decided to go out and party it up a little. The guys had all been busy with work and needed some time to just chill. And us ladies were totally ready to get our dance on. And alcohol mixed with us girls dancing together could potentially lead me in the right direction to get Edward to loosen up about getting down a dirty. I was all for going out for a drink.

_Hell, I'm always for drinking!_

Halloween was next Saturday, and we wanted to make some plans. Edward's friends Kris and Sam were going to be in town for the weekend and we decided to have a small party at his and Alice's apartment. His friend Alex who used to work at the shop was also flying in and I was excited to meet the guy I had heard so much about.

I was no prude, but I hadn't been to a house party in a long time. I was looking forward to letting loose and relaxing. And dressing up on top of things, was just icing on the cake.

After several drinks and dances with the girls, Edward pulled me out for a dance, wrapping his arms low on my waist as I wrapped mine around his neck. He kissed me passionately not caring that so many people surrounded us. I forgot everyone else in the room when he was like this. I ran my hands through his hair as he kissed my collarbone and up my neck as he sang in my ear.

_Melting me verse by verse._

He was singing to 'Let Me Be Myself' by Three Doors Down as he stared intently into my eyes. By the end of the song, he was wiping tears away from my cheeks. His voice was beautiful. My angel. I pulled him in for a chaste kiss, which he chose to deepen as he grabbed my ass.

_Yeah, there were people around, but he didn't seem to care, so neither did I._

I felt his pants start to vibrate over my center and I became instantly aroused.

"Did you bring something for me baby?" I cupped his front pocket that was still vibrating, giving him a playful smile. He kissed my cheek before reaching into his pocket and grabbing his phone to show me with a big smirk on his face.

"No, but now that you mention it, that isn't a bad idea." I laughed and kissed his neck and listened to him quietly moan at the contact.

He looked down at his phone again; a worried look across his face, then grabbed my hand to talk in a quieter place. He hands clenched around the phone and his expression was livid as he listened to the voice mail.

"Baby what's wrong?" I rubbed my hand across his cheek as my other arm snaked around his stomach to rub his rock hard abs.

"The shop. Someone threw something at the shop and the front window is shattered." He grabbed my hand and we walked towards the exit. I followed waiting for more of the story not sure what the hell was going on.

"Are the police there?"

"Yeah. That was the alarm company. It must have just happened. We need to go." He called Emmett's phone as we walked.

Well more like he pulled me and I had to run to keep up with his long legs. But what's the difference? The rest of the guys were leaving the bar and were making their way to meet us at the shop.

Edward and I made it the few blocks to the shop to see two cop cars out front with their lights flashing. Edward identified himself as the owner and we made our way inside and turned on the lights and disarmed the alarm. The whole front window was shattered, glass was all over the chairs couch and counter top. There was a brick lying on the floor with a scrap of cloth wrapped around it with a rubber band.

Edward bent down to pick it up, and I recognized what it was immediately. I froze where I was standing unable to move.

I covered my mouth with my hand and gasped. "It was James." That's all I had.

"B. What? You look like you just seen a ghost." Edward had begun rubbing up my arm. His face turning angry. He clenched the brick in his hand at the mention of James and I was for sure for shit that it was going to be thrown in the next few seconds if I didn't get it away from him.

Jasper walked in, trailed by Alice, Rose, and Emmett being careful to step over the glass. Jasper seen the brick in Edward's hand, and stared at the white piece with brown specs all over it. He took my hand and gripped it realizing right away what it was.

"Bell. That's yours. I can't believe he fucking kept it all these years. He's such a fucking perv!" Jasper grabbed me into a tight hug kissing my forehead and running his hand through my hair.

Typical Jasper fashion.

The weird thing was, I didn't feel like crying, or being scared. I was mad. I was pissed at what James had done to Edward.

"What's he talking about B?" Edward held the offensive brick still in his hand. I picked it up and unwrapped the piece of cloth and held it up. My old dried blood was prominent all over the tattered piece of fabric.

"This is mine. It was part of a shirt. I was wearing it the night...the night that..." I was cut off with Edwards nod. He didn't need to hear anymore.

"How do you know it yours?" His eyes told me he was serious and a bit clueless if I might add.

_Was he really asking this question?_

Did he think I could forget _any_ detail of that night? The night that James raped and beat me nearly to death?

Jasper looked up at Edward with a 'don't fuck with me look' and rubbed my back with soothing circles as I tried to figure out how Edward could be so dense. _For someone so hot, and smart, he could be so clueless._

"How the fuck do you think she could forget it E? Hell, I won't ever forget what I saw her wearing that night when she walked up to me at 4 in the fucking morning! Or should I say what was left of what she was wearing. Fucking stupid bro! Damn it!" I rubbed Jasper's arm to calm him down.

The last thing we needed was for the two of them to get in a fight. Not over something stupid like this.

Watching Edward's eyes, you could tell he got it. Almost like a light had gone on and he realized what a dumb fuck he had been. _I'm just going to say it was because of the drinks at the bar. That's a good excuse right?_

Edward looked at me with sadness in his eyes. "I'm so fucking stupid. That was the dumbest thing I could have ever said B. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking" He held his hand out for me, which I gladly accepted.

"Its OK Don't worry about it. I'm fine but Jazz is right. I will never forget what I was wearing that night. Or what was left of it anyway." I found myself laughing at the memory that came to mind. "Jasper took everything that I'd been wearing and burned it in the waste basket at the motel we stayed at. The front desk called to tell us about smoke that was coming from one of the rooms and told us to evacuate for a possible fire. Little did she know we were the ones with the fire."

Edward looked up at Jasper and gave him an apologetic smile. He reached out for his hand, which Jasper took. "Sorry man, I wasn't thinking straight. Long night."

"Don't worry about it. It just brought up a bad memory is all." Alice led Jasper over to the couch where they sat for a minute. Jasper was not a violent man, but the last couple of weeks were really catching up to him.

While Edward and I talked to the cops and filled out another police report and explained my past once again, Emmett and Jasper got to work with cleaning up the glass.

Luckily, none of the equipment was broken, just the window. Alice was on the phone with the alarm company getting a technician to come out in the morning. It was close to 2am by the time the cops left and we were all spent. Edward and Emmett found some pieces of plywood in the back and boarded up the open window best they could. Edward was going to call the glass company in the morning and get a new piece installed.

Once the mess was cleaned up, it was close to 4am, and we were all exhausted.

Edward insisted on not leaving the shop so no one would break in and demanded that the rest of us go home to get some sleep. None of us wanted to leave him alone and after bitching for a while, he finally gave up. His face showed that he was stressed, and I knew it wasn't just because of the shop. James was really getting under his skin. He didn't need to say it for me to realize it. It was written all over his face.

We camped out on the couches that were out front and in the back room and fell asleep shortly.

_Well, everyone except for Edward. _He sat on the couch as I slept with my head in his lap. Any time that I woke and looked up at him, he was just staring off into space with an aggravated look across his face, like he was really trying to control his anger. I didn't know what to say. I knew he was upset about what happened. Not because of the broken window, but because James was here. But I thought of it as a good thing, because we knew that he was in the city.

Now I just needed to figure out how to get him to come out so we could get pay back. Well we needed him to come out. The guys wouldn't allow me to have anything to do with him that I was sure of.

In the morning, Edward called the glass company, and they had an installer there by noon. He closed up the shop for the day, as after the glass was installed and the alarm company had come out we were all even more drained. Edward was also getting a chain gait installed the next morning that would go over the window so if this happened again the shop would still be protected.

By 3pm, we made our way home still in the same clothes we had gone to the bar in the night before. We all said good-bye and parted ways trying to get to our beds as fast as possible. Alice and Jasper crashed at our place and Edward and I at theirs.

Edward and I took a quick shower, and for once I was OK with nothing romantic going down. _I was too tired to even think of that shit._ He threw me a shirt to sleep in, and we crawled into bed. I tried to apologize for what had happened, but Edward wouldn't allow it. He said that was what insurance was for and not to worry.

It wasn't my fault and I knew it, but if it hadn't been for me, then James wouldn't have found Edward. James was obviously in town and following us, otherwise he wouldn't have even known about Edward in the first place.

Eventually sleep won, and I cuddled into Edward's side and fell into a deep sleep.

I woke up noticing that it was dark out. We had apparently slept all day. It felt like only minutes. I reached over to cuddle Edward and found only sheets and pillows. His side of the bed was cold, so I knew he had gotten up a while ago. I rolled onto my side and glanced up at the clock and noticed it was almost 10pm.

I heard voices in the kitchen. I could hear yelling on the other side of the closed bedroom door. It was Edward. I sat there and listened not sure if I should interrupt, curious at what was going on.

"I can't do this Emm. He's fucking here, and he's playing games!" Edward yelled.

'Bro. You gotta calm down. You're gonna freak Bella out and she doesn't need that right now. As soon as we find out more shit on this freak we'll take him down. The fucker isn't getting away with what he did to her, and for your shop." Emmett was trying to calm him down _if that were at all possible._

"Jesus. Emm. You didn't see the bruises and scratches covering her body! It fucking tore me up. It still does. And to think this wasn't the first time that this happened or even the second, I'm about to fucking lose my mind!" I could just picture him smoke in hand, running his free hand through his hair as he paced the floor. I heard a loud thud and realized something had either gotten punched or thrown. "I cant loose her Emm."

My heart sunk. He really thought that something more was going to happen to me. _I don't know how, seeing as though I have 3 guard dogs with me at all times._

I wanted to go to him. Comfort him. But he needed to get this out.

"E. Nothing's going to happen to her. We'll make damn sure of it. And when we do find the fucker he wont be walking when we're done with him." Emmett was laughing.

They were looking forward to fucking around with James. I am not a violent person, but the thought of James getting a taste of his own medicine was enticing.

"When I see him, I don't think I'll be able to keep my cool. I don't want to kill the guy, not totally anyways, I think going to prison and getting ass raped is a better punishment, but he will know that he answers to me for the fucked up things he's done." I laughed to myself at the ass raping comment.

"E you'll be fine. Jasper and I will be there to make sure it doesn't go to far. We won't let you. I know what you're thinking, and you're not that guy anymore."

What the fuck was Emmett talking about? I found myself leaning closer to the door so that I could hear better.

"I'll never forgive myself for the way I acted Emm. I can't believe Carlisle and Esme ever wanted to keep me after I fucked up so badly." Edward was crying. I could hear how choked up he was and fought the knot that was forming in my own throat.

"It was a long time ago E. And do you remember the fucked up shit you were on? I thank God every fucking day that you're clean now man. You weren't yourself when you used to fight. We all knew that. And no one holds it against you either." _So Edward did fight. My assumptions were right._

"I have no idea why I let Aron talk me into that shit in the first place. I was fucking stupid. And so naive Yeah, the drugs were my fault, I did that. But the other shit. God. What was I thinking? I could have killed some of those guys."

"Dude. Aron got you into fighting because you were a stoner with pent up rage. You would fucking go ape shit any time anyone mentioned anything about Edward or Elizabeth. You were easy money, and Aron only saw dollar signs when he looked at you. But that isn't you anymore. And again, we'll be there to back you up. You've got nothing to worry about bro."

"Yeah well you better be. I can't guarantee I will leave him alive if it's just me alone with the piece of shit. And its just me Emm, you and Jasper are there for support and to make sure I don't kill this fucker. Jasper had his chance with him, and I don't need Rose and Alice down my back for dragging you guys down with me. You got it? I have pretty good control over my rage now, and I've never let Bella see what I used to be like, and I'm not planning on showing it to her anytime soon, but I cant guarantee that I would be able to keep my cool." Edward finished taking a deep breath.

" The last thing Bella needs is for you to end up in jail. How do you think she would deal with that? Besides, It sounds like Jasper has already gone that route, several times for her, and I don't think she needs it on her shoulders if you were next. And how would it look on your record? I know you want to move forward with Bella, so you gotta keep you rage to a minimum. Well unless it's in bed." Edward started laughing and Emmett continued. I felt my cheeks burning with blush. "Come on bro. I know how you are. Kinky and shit. I bet she wouldn't mind some of that rage coming out in that room over there. How long has it been anyways?"

"A _long_ fucking time. And I don't want to hurt Bella you fucking freak. I want to love her and let her know what a fucking Goddess I think she is." I about creamed myself at that moment.

"Oh cut the fucking pansy ass shit. You're turning into a fucking girl. Did you want me to get you a skirt?" Emmett was laughing hysterically. "Bella wants to be fucked hardcore. OK OK, made LOVE too hard-core. I see the way you guys are together. I do have to say I'm a little surprised you guys haven't sealed the deal yet little bro."

"I'm taking it at her pace. And when it happens, it will be perfect. God, I am sounding like a fucking girl. Yes I want to fuck her. I want to fuck her 6 ways from Sunday. I want to do things to her that I'm not proud of. Ugh! Get me a beer bitch! I'm gonna go wake up Bella. Oh and order a pizza while your at it, I'm fucking starved."

Edward opened the door and saw me standing there in the dark. I stretched my arms up to make it look like I had just gotten up. Edward wrapped me into a tight hug and kissed me passionately.

"Hey beautiful. You're up!" He continued to kiss my neck as he ran his hands over my naked thighs.

"Yeah. I was sad though when I woke and you weren't there." I leaned into his chest and sucked lightly on his neck.

"Emmett was pounding on the door about an hour ago and I didn't want him to wake you so I got up and told him to fuck off. Are you hungry? He's ordering pizza." Edward continued to kiss my neck and rub my back.

"Mmm. I am hungry." I said staring into his eyes. His lips on me were too much to handle and I wanted to play. "But I think I want some sausage on my pizza."

That was all it took.

He hardened almost immediately with my words and began kissing me all over. His hands were under the shirt I was wearing and skimming up and down my thighs and onto my silk covered ass. I kneeled down in front of him and pulled down the boxers he was wearing and took his hardened length in my hand. I stroked up and down it eliciting heavy panting from my man. I then took him in my mouth and began to suck and lick all that I could. Edward placed his hands in my hair and massaged my head as it bobbed up and down.

"You taste fucking awesome baby." I said bringing him back in my mouth. I paid special attention to his piercing making him moan loudly.

"B. You're so fucking good at that. I fucking love you and your lips. How the fuck did you get so good at this? Wait.... maybe I don't want to know." He moaned as I speed up my talents.

"Well, I'm glad that my boyfriend thinks I'm a slut, but that's not that case." I said as he rolled his eyes at me. I sucked him once more before continuing. "I read Cosmo, and have watched my fair share of porn living with Jasper for so long."

"Porn and Cosmo huh?" He asked. I nodded my head and continued to work my magic. "I am so getting you a fucking subscription to Cosmo if you keep this up. Wonder what else you could learn?" He laughed and I just kept going. "And porn, well, I can't tell you what a turn on that is knowing that you have a bit of a fetish. Would you watch it with me sometime?" _And act out a few scenes? Hell to the yeah!_

I nodded and continued to suck and pump for several minutes before he started to twitch then filled my mouth. I sucked and swallowed all that I could, before pulling his boxers back up and standing before him. He wrapped me in a tight hug once again.

"Thank you baby. Did you still want sausage on your pizza? Or did you get your fill?" The smirk on his face was a mile long. _Yup, I put that there._

"No I think I got my fill. I am starved though." I looked around the floor attempting to find some clothes I had left here when Edward grabbed my heated center from behind, massaging it through my thin panties.

As good as his hands on me felt, I had to talk to him about what I heard. _What? Seriously? _

"E? I have to tell you something." He looked at me questioning me as he gripped waist. "I was listening to part of your conversation with Emm. What was he talking about with the fighting? I'm sorry for ease dropping, I couldn't help myself."

He ran his hands in his hair before wrapping his arms around my waist once again "Its OK It's all in my past. I'm not that person any more. I guess I used the excuse of my parents fucking me up as a reason to fuck myself up. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, drugs, stealing, using women, fighting." He looked up at me to judge my face of what he just said.

"How many girls have you been with?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer to this, but I couldn't help but ask. _Please for the love of God let it be under 50! But seeing as he is walking sex, it was probably higher._

He stared at me for a second before continuing. "When I was in high school, I guess you could have called me a male whore. I never dated any of those girls, but found that you didn't need to date them to fuck them. I'm not proud of it Bella. I used them." I looked at him and nodded for him to continue. "I would say somewhere around 15-20. I never loved any of them. They were just toys to me. Some girls have no self worth, and it was easy to take advantage of them. So I did. I know I'm a fucker for what I had done." He looked sad.

I kissed him fiercely bringing him out of his self-pity. "I don't think of you any differently. You're still my E. I don't care what you did with other girls in your past. Well, I do, but I'll get over it. As long as none of them meant what I do to you." _I want the name and number of every single one of those bitches so I can hunt them down dead._

He kissed me back and wrapped me in his arms tighter. " I haven't done anything like that in years though, I mean years. None of them hold a candle to you B. You are my love, my life. I wont ever use you for meaningless sex. You mean so much more to me than that. And I kick myself everyday knowing what you had gone through. James used you. Just like I used those girls."

"You. Are. Not. James." He tried to look away from me, but I pushed his chin up so he was staring into my eyes. "And those girls sound like they were just as willing to get their fix as much as you were. And who can blame them, looking like the God you are. And I know you E. You didn't do anything remotely close to what James did. You didn't beat them every time you were with them, make them have sex with you when you felt like it even though they were bruised and battered. You didn't force yourself on them every chance you got. You didn't rape them." I said the last part looking down. I didn't want to see his face. His grip tightened around my waist.

"Your right. I'm not like James. I didn't do any of that shit. And I would never do any of that shit. I wont ever hurt you Bella. You don't have to feel afraid. And I wont ever force you into anything that you aren't ready for. I will wait for you. As long as it takes." He kissed my nose.

"Thank you. And I know you aren't like him. I just don't want you beating yourself up for things you can't control. And I'm not afraid of you. I feel so safe when I'm with you, and I feel like I can actually breath. That isn't something I've been able to do in a long time."

"So, can I ask you how many guys you've been with?" Edward stared at me questioningly.

"3." He looked up at me with a confused look on his face. He knew about James and Jake. And I'm assuming as soon as I told him about the third he was going to shit a brick. "Jazz and I were each others first. But like I said it didn't work out. We're too good of friends." He surprised me by laughing.

"I kind of assumed it would be Jasper. And as much as I don't want to think of the two of you engaging in that kind of.... situation, I guess it's better him than some other guy. I can't imagine it was anything spectacular." He kissed me softly as I rolled my eyes. "Too bad I have to go kick his ass for fucking with my girl." He was still smiling so I knew he wasn't serious.

"Speaking of fighting...can we get back to my original question?" He nodded and took a deep breath.

"This guy I met when I was 17, his name was Aron. He was 22 and I hung out with his crowd during my drug days. He seen me beating the shit out a fucker one day, when Alice decided to hang out with us and was being eye fucked by the douche. She was 15 and he was 20. Anyways, he said he liked my style and wanted me to enter in some fights for him. They were literally chicken fights. They were held in abandoned buildings and people would put money on the winner. I in return got endless supplies of my favorite comforts. Coke, pot, pills, you name it. So I fought, and I always won. Aron knew about my birth parents not giving a fuck about me, and he used it to his advantage. He would get me riled up and then get me fighting. I did that shit for almost 2 years."

I stared at him waiting for him to continue. " Esme was distraught that I didn't want to go to school after I graduated, she thought I had so much potential with my art, but I had a job, and my trust fund to live off of. Emmett was my right hand man, making sure that I never got to out of hand, and supported me. One night I was totally fucked up, I snorted to many lines of coke and was out of my mind. The guy I was fighting said something about me being a fuck up and that was why my parents abandoned me and I lost it. I almost killed the guy Bella. Emmett got me out of there before the police showed up and I stopped fighting. Aron was pissed for a long time, threatening me and shit, but really he was fucking stupid to be threatening me. The guy who won every fucking fight I was entered in. He eventually gave up and found himself another fighter. With the help of my family, I got clean. Emmett took some time off from his dead end job and traveled with me while we both worked on our art. When we got back, I opened up the shop and the rest you already know." He kissed me on the forehead as we stood there in silence for several minutes. "You've heard a lot tonight. I obviously have some anger issues, and even though they're nothing like they used to be, I'm still dealing with them. Do you think you can still accept me as is? I've never opened up to someone like this, other than Alice and Emmett. I've never trusted anyone with this information."

I kissed him before speaking. "You love me as is. And I'm broken. I love you as is. Always. No matter what you would tell me about your past, I'm not going anywhere E. I'm yours. Your Bella."

He smiled at me and rubbed my back. "Just as I'm yours. And you're not broken. We both have some fucked up pasts, but we're here, together now. And we can only move forward."

"I heard you talking about wanting to face James. Although I can't say I'm 100% comfortable with the idea, I think you can hold your own. It actually turns me on just a little to know that you want to defend my honor like that." I rubbed my self on him as I spoke. _My lower half was the one speaking now._

"Oh yeah, and you don't think I'm doing this because I'm furious over my shop?" I pushed his chest. "I'm kidding. Its for you B. Its all for you."

"Speaking of things that turn me on. I got my fill of you, but...." He kissed me not letting me finish my sentence.

"I don't think I got mine though." He pulled me towards the bed ravishing my neck. He continued to rub me and just as he was about to pull my panties down, Emmett came barging in the room with a huge smile on his face.

"Pizza's here fuckers!"

Talk about a cock block.

**A/N: All right all you lurkers, yup, I'm calling you out. The last chapter had over 1,000 hits and about 10 reviews. I know you're out there. Don't be shy. I really don't bite, unless I am in the middle of a hard-core make out session with Edward. Then I'm all for the biting bit.**

**I PROMISE you all that the next chapter is a big one. There is..........some fighting...and some lemons...I won't let you down.**

**So, show me some lovin' and hit that little review button.**

**The more reviews, the more inspiration comes to me, and the faster I will post the next chapter.**

**Reviews are better than sausage on an Edward pizza!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: OK guys, this was my favorite chapter to write thus far. I know a lot of you are feeling some sexual frustration because E and B haven't sealed the deal yet. Remember what your mother always told you, 'good things come to those who wait'.**

**Well I just have one thing to say...........the wait is over!!!**

**I hope I don't disappoint. I thought the lemons were pretty juicy myself. And I know how we all like sweet sweet lemonade!**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! I found out that we all love us some Edward Pizza, and that James is in dire need of a beat down. Or several.**

**I dedicate this chapter to MiisMeyer, I better not hear any whining, love!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own a slice of Edward Pizza.**

Chapter 13:Love Bunnies

EPOV

Halloween was on Friday. My buddies Kris and Sam were coming up for the weekend, and we were throwing a small party. Emmett and Rose, Alice and Jasper, Bella and I and were the hosts. Rose said she was inviting some of her model friends that were in town for a shoot which Kris and Sam would be ecstatic over. _Fresh meat!_ And Jasper's cop friend was coming up with some information on James. Our friend Alex who moved to Cali. to open his new shop was also coming home for the weekend. I couldn't wait to see him. We had been friends since we were kids and I missed the fuck out of him.

We were all stoked to just chill for a while. There was so much drama that had occurred lately that I felt I was on the verge of loosing my cool.

When I got the call about my shop being broken into, I was pissed to say the least. We were in a good part of the city; so random brick throwers weren't something I was accustomed too. But when I heard that it was fucking James, I found it hard to control my temper. I stayed up that night thinking about him being so fucking close to her. I tried to keep quiet, knowing that if I talked about it, shit would just get worse and eat at me.

This fucker had no idea what he was getting himself into. Who he was messing with. I would do anything for Bella.

And I would get her revenge on him.

Telling Bella about my past was the hardest thing I had to do but the most gratifying. She finally knew about me. All of me. I was a fucked up mess those years, between the drugs, girls, and the fighting, I can't believe I still have family to back me. But Bella knew now and she was still by my side where she belonged.

We were both broken, but together we were whole.

She knew all about everything, and although I wasn't proud of the way that I used all of those girls for my own pleasure, I knew I was nothing like the fucking freak that James was. Those girls were all over me as much as I was them. I never once pushed any of them to do anything with me. I would never do that to someone. And it bothered me just a little more to think that James had his hands anywhere near my Bella.

I wasn't kidding when I told Bella it had been a long time for me. Although I have fooled around with a few girls here and there in the last couple of years, it never led to sex. Not that they weren't pushing for it, but because I didn't want to use another person for sex that I didn't care about.

It had been years. _Years!_

And my dick talked to me every time we got near Bella, asking, no _begging_ for a chance to come out and play.

I started thinking that I had a problem. I knew some people had imaginary friends as kids, but the dick-talking thing was a little weird. _Kind of like a ghost whisperer or something._

Bella and Jasper had sex. _And I was a jealous fucker_. But knowing that they were each other's first; it didn't hit me like it should have. He couldn't have been all that good. _Who is the first few times? Not saying anything about me of course. _ The only thing that made me feel better was to think he most likely was a two-pump chump and she probably had no enjoyment out of it what so ever. _I kept those thoughts in my mind to keep the mad man out_. And although I was a jealous prick, Jasper and Bella were together before I entered the picture, and that was something I was not willing to make the prick come out about. It wasn't my place to get pissed.

But, any other guy, yeah, that was another story. I seen the way that guys ogled my Bella, and I cant say that it didn't bother the piss out of me.

But I was the one that she went home with every night.

_Eat that shit fuckers!_

Bella and I hadn't slept away from each other since she returned from Cali. And even though I was dying to get my dick in her, I gave her time. I knew she wanted me just as bad as I wanted her. But to look at her with all those fucking bruises and scratches made me fucking sick. They were barely visible now and I was ready to move to the next level. I know Bella was too, after all the worshiping on her knees she had done. And when she would bring my hand down to rub against her wet slit, I knew she wanted me too.

I had plans.

And it was going to happen soon.

_I hate those damn cold showers. And lefty just wasn't doing it for me anymore._

_Not when I had Bella's warm body sleeping next to me night after night._

And then there was the bottle of Jergens that was slowly emptying. And it wasn't because my girl was lubing up every night, she had the softest skin without lotion. _Sadly, it was for the man screaming in my pants._

It was now Thursday, the day before Halloween, and Ben was coming into town this afternoon to go over with us what he had found out about James. Jasper and I decided to meet him for drinks while Emmett went costume shopping with the girls. Apparently there was a couples theme. Poor Emmett was the fool that got to go with and check out costumes.

_Although, he would also get to watch the girls as they modeled. …...._

Lucky fucker.

It was 6pm, and Jasper and I had just closed up shop. We made our way down to 'Midnight Sun', which was on the other side of the city to meet up with Ben. I smoked like a fucking chimney on the way there waiting for the news I wanted to hear. Jasper and I made our way inside and found Ben sitting at a table, looking over some files in hand. We made our way over in silence.

"Ben!" Jasper grabbed him in a man hug. "How the fuck are ya man? Thanks for coming, we're going to have a blast tomorrow night!"

Ben returned the hug and sat down with us. "Hey. J. Glad to come. Looking forward to meeting your girl. I got the files you were looking for."

I sat down wanting to rip the papers from his hands finding that I was growing more impatient as the seconds went by. "This is Edward Cullen, Bella's boyfriend. Edward this is Ben McCarty."

I shook his hand and nodded at the files. " I don't mean to be a prick or anything, but I need to know what you know. I'm fucking dying over here."

"No harm done. If I were you, I would feel the same way." The waitress took our drink orders as he sorted through the papers. "So this is what I've been able to find."

He pushed the files towards us. The first one was James's most recent mug shot. _I fucking knew it! I knew he had a record, the fucking douche._ As I read, it was for aggravated assault. As sad as it was, I knew that Bella wasn't the only one. There were pictures of the victim, named Victoria that was badly bruised from the beating he gave.

"I could get in so much shit for showing these to you guys." Ben took a big swig from his drink as he ran his hand through his hair.

I reached for my wallet and tapped it with a shit grin across my face. "Don't worry Ben. I got you covered, and no one will ever know that you were involved with any of this."

"Thanks for the offer man, but I don't want your money. I just want the fucker taken off the streets once and for all. Bella may have been his first, or one of his firsts, but she sure as hell wasn't his last. This fuck gets off on listening to girls scream as he beats the shit out of them while they perform on him. It makes me sick just to think about it."

My stomach became nauseous as I thought back to the passage I read in Bella's book. He was a sick fuck. We all knew it. Now it was time to do something about it.

"So start explaining. What are we looking at man?" I read through his first rap sheet trying to understand what all the legal mumbo jumbo meant.

"James moved from Houston to outside of Chicago about 7 years ago. He had a permanent residence there, living with a girl named Leah until he was arrested for theft, and then later for domestic abuse. She pressed charges and he did 6 months in lock up. When he got out, his record continued, he got in a few bar fights and spent a few over nighters at county, then in 2004 he was arrested for burglary and second degree assault to an elderly lady who owned a jewelry store. She barely survived. He then spent the next 2 years in lock up. When he got out, he stayed in various locations, no permanent address on file. He stayed out of jail until last year. He was picked up for stalking a 16 year old named Victoria." He pointed to the picture of the beaten girl. "This is Victoria. He was back in jail again, and was released about 2 months ago. No permanent address on file. He has to check in with his probation officer once a week, but other than that, no place to pin point him."

"Last year. That explains things a little. He found us last year when we were still in Chicago. He found the building we were living in. He tried to get Bella alone, but I wasn't letting that happen. He was around for almost two weeks, popping up everywhere we were before he got her alone. Of course Bella didn't want to do anything so we let it go, and then out of nowhere he was gone. And before that, he would show up, then disappear for long spurts of time." Jasper sat back in his chair and rubbed his hands over his eyes. "This all makes fucking sense now. He was locked up whenever he wasn't trying to get at Bella. Fucking freak."

I nodded and took in what he said. I thought about what Ben had said. All those poor girls. And Victoria, being only 16 years old. James was what, 30_? The fucking pervert_. But the police report didn't say anything about rape, just aggravated assault. I had no doubt in my mind that there was a rape involved.

"Well, as you know" I started, taking a drink of my whiskey, and calling for the waitress for another round. "he got to Bella when she was in Cali." I pushed the pictures over to Ben. He cringed at her bruised body. "And he's here in the city. He broke into my shop last week. He knows who I am and our crowd."

"And what are you going to do Edward?" Ben glared at me, waiting for my answer.

"I'm going to make him pay for what he did to Bella. And my shop. And every other girl he ever fucking touched! He's going to answer to me, and my fists, and anything else I choose to use. Why, are you going to stop me?" I gave him a menacing look. I did not want to be fucked with right now.

Ben just laughed and took another drink. "No. Absolutely not. He deserves everything you're going to bring. I've known Bella for several years, and I care about her too." I never heard Bella mention Ben before, but I suppose since Jasper knew him, she knew him too. "I'll stay out of anything you got planned, as long as you keep it low key. Then he's mine. Once he's prosecuted, he's done. He's had to many offenses. He'll be locked up for life."

I nodded in agreement as a slight smile played along my lips. I have a cop on my side telling me that I can fuck James up all I want, just as long as I don't pull any attention towards us.

Now, how do we get James to come out?

We would just have to wait.

XXXXXXX

Ben came back to the apartment with Jasper and I after a few more rounds of drinks and going over fuck faces file. Everyone else was already back and the girls were full of giggles. I looked at the counter and seen several half empty bottles of rum, vodka and tequila, _hence the giggling_. I looked at Emmett, and he just shook his head and blushed.

That blush meant that he was already hammered.

It wasn't even 9 yet. _I guess we were staying in._

I came up behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her waist rubbing circles under her shirt listening as she moaned at my touch. She leaned back into me as I placed kisses along her neckline under her ear and hair. She turned around to face me, and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. Vodka and Cranberry juice was heavily present on those luscious lips of hers. _Yummy._

"Hey baby." She had a goofy grin across her face, eyes glossed over.

"Hey sexy. Start with out me?" I gave her another kiss as I chugged down the rest of her drink. She pushed against my chest and began to laugh. "You're hammered aren't you?"

She responded in giggles. "I got our costumes baby. You wanna come and see?" _Hell yeah I want you to cum and see. _ I nodded my head up and down, as she took my hand and lead us out the door and towards her apartment. The guys all looked at me as we passed them, and I just smiled and flicked them off smiling the entire time. _See ya later fuckers!_

I shut the door behind me, and Bella slammed me up against it, tackling me with kisses, and rubbing me through my pants.

_Oh God I love when she drinks..._

"B." I gently grabbed her arms pulling her back from me. "As much as I love when you feel me up, we're in the hallway. Control yourself for just a few more seconds until we get to your apartment."

"Sorry. I can't help myself around you." She placed her hands on my chest and pulled on my nipple rings through my shirt. "You're so fucking hot, and I'm horny!"

My pants tightened and I had to remember that we were in a hallway and in public. The growl that came from my throat escaped without my permission. I grabbed Bella's ass and pulled her up so that she could wrap her legs around my waist as I carried her back to her place. I grabbed her keys from her and unlocked the door.

As soon as we stepped in, Bella began forcefully kissing me as I grabbed the lock behind us and locked the door.

I still wasn't over the pizza incident. _Fucking Emmett!_

I carried her to her bedroom and threw her on the bed, letting myself hover over her. She did this squeal thing and I found myself dry humping her leg like a fucking dog. _Yeah, seriously I did._ She grabbed at the hem of my shirt and tugged it up and off. The little minx was horny when she was drunk.

_I would remember that for future use._

She began kissing up my chest, and God. _Did that feel good. _I hovered over her keeping enough space between us so she could continue on. She kissed down my chest towards my belt buckle when she stopped. I quickly grabbed her and turned us so that I was lying down and she was straddling my hips grinding into her, trying to find some relief for my throbbing member.

She began pushing herself onto my hardened cock, and I almost lost it right in that moment. If I kept going at this pace, I would be worse than a two-pump chump. _I would be a no pump chump! And I would never hear the end of that one._

I placed my fingers under the hem of her shirt and threw it off of her as I ogled her naked flesh. She was wearing a dark green lacy bra. She looked fucking fabulous and perfect and all I wanted to do was suck and lick every bit of her skin that she would allow. I cupped her tit before making my way down to her jeans, which I unzipped just a little to see the top of her emerald green panties that matched her bra. I moaned in appreciation.

_I would need to thank Alice later for the lingerie shopping they had done together._

Bella grabbed my hand and trailed it down, into her pants, under her panties and to her hot and wet pussy.

_Dear Lord, I have died and gone to heaven._

"E. Touch me." She stared at me seductively while her other hand trailed over her face and she sucked on her finger. I couldn't help myself. I reached my free hand up and stuck my finger in her mouth. She began to suck it and twist her tongue around it making patterns and I couldn't take my fucking eyes off of her.

_Ungh.... if I played my cards right, that would be my dick in a matter of minutes._

"B. I fucking love that mouth of yours so damn much! I love what you do with it. My cock wants to be in it so fucking bad!" I moaned into her chest, which I was now staring at like it was made of gold.

I took my hand out of her pants and she whimpered, yes whimpered at the loss of contact. I ran my hands up her back and unclasped her bra and watched it as it fell down her arms, then threw it to the floor with our shirts. I stared at her beautiful tits, and the green barbells through her nipples. I twisted the little diamonds, which elicited the most beautiful noise to come from my angel's mouth. I then took her left nipple in my mouth and sucked and nibbled on it, as my other hand occupied her right nipple, twisting and pinching until it hardened. Bella continued to push herself onto my cock and I couldn't help but hump her in response. _She so wanted more._

"E. fucking touch me. I need your hands on me." She stood up and shed her jeans and panties in one stride, then ran her hands from her tits all the way down to her tight little pussy, freshly shaved and soft as fuck. Her fingers ran up and down over her wet slit and I watched as she plunged two of them inside her core as she moaned out in pleasure.

"Fuck. Me." I whispered as my own hand went for my cock. I needed some friction to relieve the pain. It was actual pain that I felt watching Bella get herself off_. It was the best pain I had ever felt in my miserable fucking life._

She continued to go to town on her pussy, pushing her fingers deeper in each time. I stood next to her and stripped the remainder of my own clothes off as I stood before her and stroked my hard cock.

The moans she was making went straight to my dick, and I couldn't take it any more. I got on my knees in front of her and pushed her legs apart, propping one foot up on her bed for leverage. She looked at me as I pulled out her fingers and brought them to my mouth to suck clean. She moaned again and I thought I was done for.

"Fucking delicious." I said as I sucked her fingers full of her flavor. I leaned in close and pulled her hips so she was exactly placed over my mouth. I held her there with one hand while my tongue licked up her wet folds and found her clit. She was so fucking wet. I massaged circles around her clit before plunging my tongue completely into her. She arched herself back, and I had to grab hold of her so she didn't fall backwards.

"Jesus Fuck! E!" I loved when she called me E. _Call me E again_. "I gonna fucking cum....E!" _Yea that's what I wanted to hear._ I worked my magical tongue, stroking up and down her slit and around her clit with my tongue ring, until I felt the wetness fill my mouth. I licked and sucked up all of her juices, savoring the flavor.

When she came down from her high, she dropped down on her knees in front of me so that we were eye to eye. She grabbed my face and began kissing me passionately licking and sucking her flavor from my lips and tongue. My own hand couldn't help it self. It was wrapped tightly around my engorged member trying to gain some release. Bella seen what I was after and pushed lefty out of the way. She wrapped her beautiful lips around my cock and began stroking, and sucking and flicking her tongue on my barbell. I held her hair back as she moved up and down on me, sucking and using the sweet little mouth of hers like a fucking vacuum. I moaned in pleasure and within minutes I came hard in her mouth. If she didn't love me so much I would have been embarrassed by how fast I finished. But watching her finger herself was more than I could take. I was a love struck fool. She sucked me dry until I went limp. I then pulled her into my arms and held her close until we both could speak.

"I want to fuck you E." She stared intently into my eyes. Although they were glossy, she was serious as all hell. "I'm ready for you, if you'll have me."

"Of course I'll have you. I've wanted to fuck you since the moment I met you." _Why the fuck didn't she say this 5 minutes ago? Does she not realize that the gun needs to reload?_ "But how about later, you completely drained me baby." I laughed into her hair, a bit embarrassed that I couldn't put out.

"You let me know when you're ready, and I'll give you what you're looking for." She kissed me deep and passionately. With that my dick hardened, just thinking about the promised land and how close we were to getting access, but I realized how long we had been gone and decided that it would be a good time to get dressed and join our friends.

Because I knew if we didn't get back soon, we would have all 5 of them bombarding us, naked and all. _Not what I wanted to happen with our first time. Great memories it would make._

We dressed quickly and made our way back to my apartment _after_ I readjusted Bella's shirt for her. _Apparently she thought it looked good backwards_.

The guys were playing Guitar Hero, and Emmett was going to town on the drums to some Guns 'N' Roses song. The girls were looking over some magazine and laughing at something, I'm sure I didn't even want to know.

Emmett and Jasper gave us a knowing look as we walked back in, and Ben just shook his head turning red. Alice and Rose, I was sure would beat the details out of Bella later.

"You look a little flushed Bella Barbie." Emmett smirked at me. _After the pizza debacle, I held a bit of a grudge on my big brother, and he was just making things worse by opening his fucking mouth._

"I am a little hot. Must be the vodka." Bella made her way to the kitchen to make herself another drink as she fanned her face with her hand, totally clueless to Emmett's banter.

"Or maybe it's Edwards's dick that's got you so flushed" Rose added snickering. Alice fell into her side trying to hide her giggles with her hand covering her mouth.

I looked down and shook my head as I ran my hands through my hair hoping they would cut the shit.

"No, actually it was his fucking tongue, but thanks for asking." Bella shot back as she looked at me licking her lips.

I heard the drumsticks drop as Emmett stared at my girl, along with everyone else in the room. Jaws were dropped and faces were red.

That's my girl.

_Serves you right fuckers!_

"So Bella, what did Edward think of the costumes?" Alice asked trying to change the subject.

_Hmm... We never got that far._

"Oh, that's what I was going to show you!" She yelled, looking at me like she totally couldn't remember that was the reason why we went over there in the first place. She grabbed my hand and led us towards to door. "Lets go look at the costumes." A sly smile playing across her face.

_Drunken Bella is my kind of Bella._

We almost made it out the door when Jasper stopped us. "Oh no you don't I don't need to think about why you're 'looking at costumes' if I don't have to Bell."

_Cock blocked..............again. Our friends really hate us!_

We stayed up late drinking and messing around. I schooled Emmett in Guitar Hero. He now owed me $50.00 and I was ready for him to pay up. Ben slept over at Bella's in her bed, while we headed back to my apartment for the night. I literally had to carry Bella to bed she was so hammered, so needless to say I had to sleep the entire night with my raging hard on that was pressed against her ass.

I was getting used to my cock being upright when Bella was around. It had a mind of its own, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The next day was spent at the shop. Ben had gone out with Bella and Rose to get some food and alcohol for the party tonight and we were closing the shop up by 8pm to get our drink on. Bella decided that we were going as Hugh Hefner and one of his Playboy Bunnies. She had a dark maroon smoking jacket and black silk pajamas picked out for me, minus the shirt. She said something about needing to see my chest. Whatever. I couldn't wait to see what she had picked out.

_My dick was twitching; telling me it couldn't be much._

The three of us guys closed up and made our way home. The girls were all getting ready at Bella's while us guys set up for tonight. Kris, Alex and Sam were supposed to be here by 9pm so we all went to get our costumes on. I put on the silk pants and smoking jacket and made my way out to the living room feeling really fucking comfortable. There I found Emmett in a 'batman' costume. I assumed that Rose was coming as a hot version of cat woman, and Jasper was dressed as a cowboy. Alice would be some kind of slutty cowgirl. _I already knew it._

I looked over at Emmett who was messing with his cape trying to get the tie just right. He had this fake plastic chest, and bat ears on his fucking head. I literally doubled over laughing my ass off at his big ass. _It reminded me of trick or treating 20 years ago, when he dressed up as Darth Vader._

"What the fuck are you wearing bro?" I asked laughing and pulling out a smoke. He eyed me up and down and began laughing as well.

"I should be asking you that fucking question, Mr. 'I'm as old as dirt but fuck 20 year old models with fake tits'." He ran his hand over my jacket. "And what's with the fucking jacket?"

_One word to answer his question_. "Bella." Her name made me smile, and my thoughts went back to what she would be wearing.

My dick chimed in and reminded me that the Play Boy Bunny costume consisted of a small piece of fabric that was so fucking tight that we might have a hard time getting into it.

_I reassured him I would find a way in._

My buddies got there all in the next 20 minutes, along with a few of Rose's friends. Ben had to run out on an errand but said he would be back soon. I was talking to Sam about his music when my Angel entered the room.

My dick twitched telling me she was here_. I fixed myself and gave him a light rub to let him know that I already knew._

Bella was dressed in the tightest fucking outfit that I had ever seen. It was some kind of body suit that cupped her tits and almost had them spilling out. It was dark blue with a white puffy thing on her ass. Oh right, bunny tail. _Right._ And her legs, ugh.... they went on for miles covered in fish net stalkings. She was wearing a pair of 'fuck me' heals and a bow tie and cuffs. Oh and there were bunny ears too.

_Those could be fun later._

My dick twitched in anticipation, and I felt like I would need to take him to the side pretty soon to show him first hand that we needed to wait.

I think I seen Alice walk in behind Bella wearing a cowboy hat and slutty outfit to pass as a cowgirl, and Rose wearing tight black leather showing off her curves, but all I could really see was Bella. My Bella.

My dick was asking when he could come out and play, and I had to silently scold him, and tell him for the hundredth time today that we had to wait for later.

_We had the party to attend to first._

I made my way towards her, and wrapped her into a tight hug. I couldn't help my hands; they went right for her tight ass.

_Ugh... it was going to be a long night._

"You look so fucking hot B." I kissed the side of her neck and down her exposed collarbone. Oh, and the smell. She smelled like vanilla and strawberries. I died and really did go to heaven. "Do you know what my dick wants to do to you?"

She laughed then kissed me chastely on the lips. She got up on her tiptoes and whispered in my ear. "I think I have some idea. Pretty much what my pussy has been begging for?"

Yup, it was going to be a long night. And all I wanted to do was to take her to my room and make sweet sweet love to her pussy.

_Me too fucker, don't forget about me down here!_

I think there is a problem when your dick starts having actual conversations with you.

We made our rounds talking with people. I couldn't keep my hands off of her. She was so fucking hot I couldn't help it. I caught up with Alex and got the down low on the shop he opened in Cali. It was doing well, but he missed New York. It was great hanging out and bull shitting like we used too. Sam and Kris were cool as shit and immediately took a liking to Bella. Sam, although had been a friend of mine for several years was starting to get on my nerves when he was eye fucking my Bella. _Yeah I was a jealous prick, but I couldn't stand anyone else looking at her._

Those were my goods, and was the only one allowed to play with them.

Bella was taking shots left and right, and I knew that my drunken horny Bella would be out to play soon.

My dick twitched yet again just thinking about it.

It was close to midnight when I realized that Ben still hadn't made an entrance. He left us earlier saying that he had some errands to run, but I was getting suspicious. I left Bella with the girls and made my way over to Jasper to find out what the status was. He was on his cell, so I waited patiently till he got off.

A few minutes later he snapped the phone shut with the biggest fucking smile on his face.

"Ben knows where he's at. Its game time." Jasper clapped his hands together as his smile grew wider. It took me a minute to let it sink in, and to remember who he was talking about. The vodka had been flowing freely for several hours by this point and my mind was a just a bit foggy, and only thinking about Bella and how I was going to get that thing off of her.

And then it hit me.

James.

Jasper grabbed my arm and nodded in the direction of Emmett and Alex and we all went out in the hallway to talk.

"So Ben was doing some work for us tonight. That was his little 'errand' before. He had a tracker on James and spotted his car at a bar on the south side of town. Ben is there watching him as we speak and he said that James is pretty wasted." Jasper looked up at me. "It's now or never Edward. Are you game?"

The biggest smile took over my face. "Absolutely. This fucker's going down." I started to strip my coat off as I made my way over to Bella and Jasper's apartment. I went into Bella's bedroom and the guys all followed suit. I began changing into some clothes I kept there as Jasper and Emmett did too.

Emmett grabbed some clothes from Jasper so he wouldn't have to go out in his batman costume.

_We would be the ones beaten up for that shit._

I pulled on a t-shirt and began to strategize. I had filled Alex in on all the madness a few weeks ago, so he was in the loop.

"So here's what we're gonna do. Alex, you're staying here with the girls. When you go back in there, tell them that we have a surprise and that we'll be back in an hour." He nodded in agreement and went back to the party. "Emm, Jasper, you guys are going to be there for support. I don't need Rose and Alice up my ass for taking you to with me if shit hits the fan. And so I don't rip this fuckers head off. Let me play with him a bit. You'll know when I've gone to far, and at that point we let Ben take him in. Everyone cool?"

They both nodded in agreement and I felt like we needed to yell 'break' from our little team huddle.

Once we were all dressed in street clothes we made our way to the parking garage to my Volvo speeding through town to get to the bar he was at. I knew the place, used to do some open mike nights back in the day.

The owner was cool as shit and wouldn't interfere.

We made our way in the bar, and seen Ben from a side table. He just nodded so he wouldn't be found out yet.

I looked around until I saw him.

The sack of shit was sitting at the bar hitting on some blonde that was obviously hammered. Probably his next victim.

Not tonight.

We made our way up to him as calm as possible. I plopped down on the stool next to him and Jasper the other. Emmett stood behind so he couldn't run. It took him a minute to realize who we were. The blonde walked away as she threw her hair over her shoulder.

_Good. Fewer witnesses._

I seen the bartender giving us a knowing look, but I just nodded, it was a guy named Embry that I used to know. He wasn't going to say anything. James took another drink before looking over at Jasper.

"Jasper, long time no see asshole!" He mocked punched him as Jasper shrugged him off.

"Not fucking long enough. Seen Bella lately fucker?" Jasper was trying to control his rage, but I myself was having difficulty sitting next to this piece of shit.

"Yeah, I seen her. I met up with her in LA. Still a fine piece of ass if I do say so myself." I could feel my control slipping as his lips turned up into a grin. I felt my hands clench together. It took everything in me not to attack him right there. He looked over at me and laughed. "And you must be fuckward. Sorry about your shop bro. I could give two shits about you. But Bella's my property, and she will come back to me. She just needs reminders from time to time."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I said through my teeth. I was about 2 seconds away from killing this guy. "Bella is no one's property. You treat your women like fucking trash you sick fuck! You need major fucking help for your obsession with the way you treat the female population."

"Oh Fuckward, is she not putting out for you? Some time she needs a little coaxing. Grab her by the neck, I love the fucking sounds that she makes when I do that. The little slut was always such a good fuck. So tight." He moaned thinking about _MY_ Bella.

"I think we need to step outside James." Jasper said as he stood up. I stood next as James looked at us both amused. He tried to stand up and turn to leave when he bumped into my bear of a brother Emmett.

Emmett just crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head no, a huge smile playing across his lips.

James put his hands in front of him in surrender. "Fine. Fine. I'm going. No need to be pushy fuckers."

I nodded at the bartender again, silently telling him my plan. I led the way towards the back room, which I knew lead out into the alleyway. James was behind me followed by Jasper and Emmett. I seen Ben get up from the corner of my eye but kept his distance. As soon as we got outside, I grabbed the fucker by the shirt and threw him up against the brick building and held him there by the neck.

"How does it feel to be man handled like this huh? How does it feel you sadistic fuck?" I pushed him harder into the brick wall, slamming his head back with all my force. The sound was deafening, but I felt myself smile in his pain. "You like the way Bella sounds when you grab her neck, right? Now I wanna hear the sound you make!" I gripped his neck tighter until he was gasping for breath.

I got up close to his face and laughed at the sound then released him slightly.

"For fucks sake. I don't even know you man. Mind your own God damn business you freak!" Was he really going there? Jasper and Emmett stood on either side of him to make sure he didn't run. The little pansy had no chance.

I punched him hard in the eye, then in the nose followed by the ribs and finally in the balls. "You may not know me, but I know you." I got up close and whispered in his ear as menacing as I could. "And Bella is my business. And you will never" punch to the ribs "ever" punch to the other eye "touch her again. So help me God I will kill you."

I let go of James for a minute to compose myself. If I didn't stop now I was really going to do some damage. He looked at me and the fucking cunt smiled at me as he spit blood.

"She wanted it. You should have seen her. I took her virginity with such little effort. Well, maybe she wasn't a virgin. The little whore was such a good lay. But that was really all she was good for. Girls got a mouth on her. Girls like that need to be taught a lesson."

That was it. That's all it took. Jasper and Emmett seen me going for him, and each held an arm so that James wouldn't move.

I grabbed him around the neck once again and slammed his head into the brick behind me. I then proceeded to punch and kick every place I could find on his body until he fell to the ground. I didn't stop there, and found an old 2X4 near me, picked it up and hit him in the ribs, the chest, and back. Emmett grabbed the wood and took it from my grasp as I aimed for his head.

"Enough E. Enough!" Emmett yelled as he stared into my eyes trying to break my concentration. He was right. I needed to calm down before I lost control.

I knelt down to where James was laying on the ground and grabbed a big chunk of his hair and pulled his head tightly to look up at me as I stared him down.

"You are a worthless piece of shit that should never be allowed to see the light of day again. You're going to pay for what you've done. You're a rapist, a pervert, and a woman beater. You don't even deserve to be called a man you sick fuck." I dropped his head hard to the ground as he was gasping for breath. I took the opportunity to kick him one more time in the gut before backing up.

The three of us walked out of the alley, as Ben walked in. I nodded at him and continued on to my car. He would meet up with us later and spill how the rest of the evening went down.

I got in the passenger side and threw my keys at Emmett. I was so fucking wired that there was no way that I could drive. My hands were shaking so fucking bad, I was wondering if they would ever slow.

"You did good man. You did good." Emmett said as we were driving away. I didn't get all of my rage out yet, and there was no way that we could go back.

"Drive to the peer Emm." I leaned my head against the cold window as I let out a deep breath. I flinched my hands and gasped in pain as I realized how bruised and bloodied they both were. I was sure a few knuckles were broken, but I've had a hell of a lot worse.

"What's at the peer E?" Jasper asked from the back seat.

"Nothing. It's just a place that we used to go after Edwards fights for him to unwind a bit." He answered Jasper's question for me, as I was to wound up. "You got anything to relax with brother?"

"No. Right about now is when I wish I still had my endless supply of drugs." I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

_No such luck._

"I got you covered." Jasper pulled out a few joints and handed me one. I gave him a smile and lit the fucker up and inhaled the biggest hit I had ever taken. I held it in as long as I could before blowing it out.

For the rest of the 10-minute drive, I took as many hits as possible and started to relax. I wasn't buzzed anymore from the alcohol I had previously consumed, nor was I high, I was just a little bit more relaxed than I was and didn't feel the rage to hit something as bad.

When we got to the peer, I walked down to the edge and slammed my hand into the wall, welcoming the pain that followed. I worried about what I would tell Bella if I broke my hand, but after bending my fingers realized that I was fine. I leaned up against the wall and slid down until I was seated on the cold ground, head between my knees. Emmett and Jasper slid down next to me and we all sat there in silence for a few minutes.

"Was it everything you thought it would be?" Emmett asked.

"No. I thought it would be enough, but until I know that fucker is behind bars, I wont feel like I did my job." I said as I leaned my head back and looked at the sky.

Jasper clasped his hand on my shoulder before speaking. "You did your job. You don't know how hard it was to stand back and not get a good punch in. Although I guess I had my chance way back when. Your job now is to take care of Bella and move on. Make her happy and keep her happy."

I felt my eyes burn and realized that I was crying. I did what I needed to do and now my job was to take care of my Angel. _My Bella_.

We all sat there for a few more minutes, had a few smokes then made our way back to the car. Not a word was spoken about my crying. Both of my brothers, yes I thought of Jasper as a brother, knew where I was coming from. We pulled back into the parking garage and made our way back to Bella and Jasper's to change back into our costumes.

We were all ready to go back into the party when Jasper stopped.

"Wasn't our reason for leaving to get a surprise?" Fuck, he was right.

_OK Think fast. Either we could go in there and say we were fuckers and just wanted to go out for a drink or we could make sure we all got laid tonight and come up with something. Fast._

"How about we put on a little show for the ladies?" Emmett said with a smile across his face as he tied his pansy ass cape back into place.

_How he thought that was manly or sexy was so beyond me._

For the next 20 minutes we discussed what we could do to redeem ourselves as we took shot after shot of some whiskey that was in the cupboard. Even though none of them knew where we had been, I felt guilty as all fuck.

We made our way back to the party as soon as we had a plan in place. I immediately found Bella, sitting up at the island with drink in hand. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her tattoo thinking about what it symbolized. _I kissed it again saying a silent prayer that I did the right thing._

She turned around and met my eyes with that beautiful smile. I kissed her long and hard, letting her know how much I missed her, not caring who was watching. _Well that, and how much I loved her, and was excited to have dealt with James._

"Hey sexy. How's my favorite bunny?" I asked with a sexy grin.

She leaned into my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I've been waiting for you. Edward where were you? It's almost 2am and Alex said you'd be gone for an hour. I might be drunk but I know it's been longer than an hour."

I looked around to find Emmett and Jasper doing some sweet-talking of their own to their ladies. They were whispering in their ears, then looked up at me and nodded.

I looked around the room until I saw Alex and gave him a knowing glance and nod.

"We were planning a surprise. And its show time." I said as I kissed her cheek and sat her back down in her chair.

Emmett and Jasper lead Alice and Rose to where Bella was and sat them down. I walked past Alex and gave him a nod. He gave me a look that said _'you better tell me everything later fucker'_. I nodded back.

I went to the entertainment center and popped in a CD and took my place. Emmett dimmed the lights and the three of us took our places. The music began and we started our show. It was some cheesy stripper music, but hey, it was last minute and all we could come up with. We quickly had choreographed a few moves in our short time and did some hip thrusts and shit as we made our way over to our girls. Each of us did some rendition of stripping for our girl while straddling their laps.

Emmett was fucking hilarious, shedding his cape and pointy ears, as Rose fell off her chair laughing at him. Jasper's was his cowboy hat and his holster, before Alice went for his shirt. And I stripped off my smoking jacket, which left me in only those silk pajama pants, which did nothing for hiding my obvious hard on. I pulled Bella's legs apart and made her slouch down in her chair as I worked my way in between them and began rubbing myself on her. She turned a deep red, and her breathing picked up. By the end of the routine she was panting and I couldn't help but love her just a little more. As soon as the little number was over, she groped me in front of everyone, not able to control herself any longer.

Everyone was hammered, and we didn't even get shit like usual. _Weird._

The party started to wind down shortly after, and our guests made their way home. Ben hadn't returned yet. Jasper and Alice were at Bella's and we were at my place. Alex was staying in Alice's room.

After the last of our friends left, I locked the door and picked Bella up throwing her over my shoulder. She did this cute little scream thing and I slapped her ass from behind trying to steer clear of the fucking puffy tail. She hadn't noticed my hands since I returned home and was grateful for the vodka that didn't allow her to notice my injuries.

I brought her to my room, closing the door behind me and threw her on my bed. This was it. I couldn't resist her any longer. I had so much pent up sexual frustration that I was ready to explode. After what had happened tonight with James, I needed her. I needed to feel her love and her touch.

I lay down hovered over her as she cupped my cheeks with her palms and stared into my eyes as I kissed her fiercely with all the love and emotion that I had.

"You're beautiful E. Absolutely fucking beautiful." She continued staring into my eyes as I stared into hers. A single tear escaped her eye, but I quickly kissed it away.

"Love, don't cry. What's wrong?" I asked, turmoiled to see my Angel cry. I stroked her hair out of her face.

"Nothing's wrong E. Everything's right. For once in my life, everything is right. I love you so much and it's just making me emotional." She laughed into my neck placing a wet kiss there. "God, I'm such a girl sometimes!"

"And I wouldn't have it any other way baby." I kissed her forehead, before making my way down to her neck and over the swells of her breasts that were practically falling out of her little outfit. She moaned at my touch and it only urged me on further.

"Sit up for a minute." I said taking her with me. We both sat up and I tried to figure out how the fuck to get the damn thing off of her. I reached my hand around to her back looking for the zipper but was having no such luck. _I was ready to rip it off her at this point but thought it would be nice to keep around for later._ She started laughing seeing how much difficulty I was having and pushed my hands away and stood up.

I lay back on the bed and watched as the show began. She found the zipper and slowly, and I mean fucking slowly pulled it down provocatively while she stared into my eyes. A slight smile played against her lips and I couldn't help but stroke my self through the thin silk pants I was still wearing.

God these felt good, I would have to remember to keep them around. Too bad I slept in only boxers, these would feel incredible. Light bulb! _SILK boxers._

My dick twitched for the millionth time tonight and I silently told him that good things come to those who wait. And we waited and now we get our prize. _The promise land!_

Bella continued with the zipper until it was all the way down, then began to pull the tight ass costume off of her. I have no idea how she got that thing on it was so fucking tight; they might as well sewed it on her. She pulled it off over her beautiful tits and she was not wearing a bra. Her nipples were erect and screaming out to me, 'nibble me, suck me, pull on my barbells,'.

_And I was a pleaser so of course I would listen._

She continued and wiggled her way out of the rest of the outfit and discarded it on the floor. I motioned with my fingers for her to come hither, which she did. She stood in front of me in nothing but those heels and the tiniest thong I had ever seen. Those heels that screamed 'fuck me'.

I groaned and practically creamed myself looked at the naked Goddess in front of my. She was standing in front of me now in between my legs and I was doing everything in my power to not hump the shit out her leg like a dog. She ran her hands down my chest, making circles and following the patterns of my tattoos before landing on my nipples. She twisted the barbells in her fingers, which only made me groan louder.

"Baby as much as I like those pants" She whispered in my ear. "they need to come off. Now."

_What my baby wants, my baby gets. I was out of those pants taking my boxers with before she could say another word._ She laughed at my eagerness, but seriously, I have been waiting for this moment for months.

I am a guy after all.

This is all that has been on my mind since the first time I met her.

_Yeah, I loved her and all that sappy shit, but come on; this is sex we are talking about!_

She pushed me back on the bed and I propped my head up against my arms as I watched her eye fuck my body. She kissed me chastely on the lips and moved her way down my body, kissing every plain that she could before grabbing my throbbing cock in her hand and stroking it with just enough force. I grabbed for her hair and moaned loudly. This was almost getting embarrassing how much she could make me moan. _Fuck_!

She stared at me while she moved her head down towards my dick watching as my eyes grew bigger knowing that she was going to suck me off in a matter of seconds. It took everything in my power to not push her head in the right direction, but that would not have been a good boyfriend thing to do, so I decided against it. She took all of me that she could and her warm wet mouth worked its magic. The feeling of being in Bella's mouth was indescribable.

Warm. Wet. Tight. And that tongue. Ungh... That was a whole nother story. It made me want to get into that tight pussy even more.

She continued to suck me and bob her head up and down for a few minutes before I felt that knowing tightening in my stomach. I reached down and grabbed her by the arms and brought her up to me.

She looked at me confused. "I want to blow it in your pussy baby." I smiled at her.

She made the most erotic sound I had ever heard. I knew she wanted it just as badly as I did. I rolled her over so she was laying flat on her back, stripped her of the thong as I took her hardened nipple in my mouth and sucked on it, making her moan even more. I then nibbled and pulled at her barbell making her moan even louder. I continued on with her beautiful tits as my other hand made its way down to her heated pussy. I groaned as my fingers stroked across her folds, which were dripping wet and wanting my dick. _Holyfuckinallthatsholy! The fucking promise land!_

I stuck two fingers in and worked my magic on her pussy. It was so tight and warm that my dick would have a field day in there.

_In a few minutes, I thought to myself as I let out a low chuckle._

I continued pushing my fingers in and out of her listening to her moans grow louder and deeper as I went. She was close. I rubbed her clit with my thumb and within a few strokes she came hard into my hand. I pulled out my fingers and sucked them as she watched. Her eyes were dark with lust, want, need.

I positioned myself over her and let my dick graze across her pussy toying with her just a bit, loving how she was squirming with angst below me.

I never seen her taking any kind of pill daily and felt sad for a second thinking I would have to put a nasty condom on. I wanted to feel her, all of her.

"Are you on anything?" I asked praying she would say yes. I didn't even have any condoms it had been so long that they would have expired even if I did have anything.

"Covered." She moaned into my ear. That's all I needed to here as I pushed into her slowly.

Her breath caught in her throat and I gave her a second to adjust to my size. She was so tight; I literally lost it at that second.

_That would have totally been embarrassing. She would think I was a minuteman._

But I held it together and waited until her face grew soft and she smiled. I pushed the rest of the way into her and watched as she writhed below me. My pumps were slow at first, but I wanted more. Needed more. They picked up as I heard her moans growing deeper. Her voice was husky.

"Harder baby." She moaned. I pumped into her hard and fast and continued on. I reached down and found her clit rubbing my thumb over it as she bucked her hips into me.

"Ungh. Oh Fuck! Fuck!" She yelled between moans. She opened her eyes and stared at me as I continued to pump into her with all that I had. I felt my stomach tightening.

"B. Cum with me baby. I love to watch your face when you cum. It is by far the hottest thing I have ever fucking seen." I kissed her neck and then took her nipple into my mouth and bit down hard.

She screamed in passion and I felt her cum all over my dick. That was all it took and I was gone with the next stroke. I stayed there, hovered over her for several minutes still joined together while we both caught our breath. _Best experience of my life! Hands down._

"That. Was fucking amazing E." She said breathless.

I kissed her neck then stared into her eyes.

"You were fucking unbelievable B. I love you so fucking much." I kissed her lips softly and watched her as she watched me.

"I love you too baby. So fucking much. Thank you." She kissed me hard on the lips, licking along my bottom lip wanting entrance to my mouth. My tongue came out and we kissed letting them play for dominance.

We lay there connected for some time making out and letting our hands travel. I was so fucking tired and hammered that I sadly had to end this.

When I finally pulled out, I heard her whimper at the loss, but I just smiled at her as I made my way to my bathroom.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower. You coming?" I asked playfully.

"Baby I just did, twice." She said as she jumped out of bed and onto my back.

I brought us into the bathroom where we showered, washing each other and enjoying each other's bodies. No shower sex tonight, we were both to fucking tired and drunk for that shit, but I kept the thought in my mind for the future.

After we showered, we made our way back into bed. I slipped on a pair of clean boxers, and Bella found one of my t-shirts to sleep in. We cuddled in bed for a while before she fell into a peaceful sleep. I followed shortly after with my Angel in my arms. The way that I would always want it.

If luck was on my side, James was now sitting in jail, with a guy named Tiger eye fucking him awaiting trial.

I hoped and prayed that I made the right decision, and my Bella would now be safe.

**A/N: So...they finally sealed the deal. Thank the Lord right?**

**Just a side note. I have no clue how sentencing actually goes for the crimes that James committed, I just took a guess and it went along with the time line of the story. So please no nasty comments about the legal system. I'm an office manager in real life, not a cop.**

**Long ass chapter, but there was no good place to cut things off, so this is what you get!**

**Question for you all.........The other night I woke up at 1am out of dead sleep and asked my husband if he thought vampires jizzed. He about lost it, thinking I had gone crazy, but seriously in the book, their bodies are supposedly kind of like rock, and are stuck never changing. So if blood doesn't run through their veins, how do other secretions flow???? Weird question right? But I was wondering if anyone else had any insight.**

**And why I was thinking about this in the middle of the night is beyond me. If I ever had the chance to meet SM, I think I would have to pull out a notebook of all the perverted questions I wanted to ask her. **

**Reviews are better than Edward's dick twitching in anticipation for the Promised Land, and James getting the shit beat out of him.**

**Now push the button...you know what to do!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I know I usually update more than once a week, but it has been a hectic one to say the least. I am the proud auntie to a baby girl born earlier this week! Yeah me!**

**I have been having a lot of trouble with this chapter. I have edited, and re-edited more times than I would like to admit, and it still doesn't sound right, but this is what you're gonna get.**

**So...from the last chapter, how many of you are going to be bunnies for Halloween? I got several replies saying that was the costume of choice this year!**

**A big thanks to Sam for all the help getting this chapter looking nicer!!**

Chapter 14: B's Right Man

The day after...

BPOV

My eyes opened and I realized it was really bright in the room. To fucking bright. First thought was that I drank way to much Vodka last night.

_The pounding in my head was solid proof of that._

I felt Edward's arms tighten around my waist as he nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. Thoughts of last night rushed back to me as I lay in his arms mesmerized by his touch.

Love. Lust. Passion. Sex.

A huge smile made its way across my face thinking about our love.

Edward and I finally had sex last night.

_Part of me felt like standing up and doing my happy dance after getting what I wanted for so damn long._

Thinking of the ways we moved together brought a smile to my face and heat traveled down to my nether region. We fit together like two missing puzzle pieces.

He was perfect. His body was perfect.

_And dear Lord was he blessed with an absolutely massive cock._

God I loved him.

I would have to remember to thank his birth mother for that if I ever met her.

I laughed at the idea, because I knew it would never happen, and even if I did ever meet her, that would be one of the last things I would want to say …. _OK, now I am totally getting off subject._

_Mind out of the gutter, Swan!_

Never had I had such intense orgasms in my life before I met Edward. In fact, none of my previous partners were ever able to help me to my release. _Not that I'm saying anything about my first time with Jasper, come on, we were like 15 or 16 and there was no pleasure in that. Poor Jazz._

I'm sure he's gotten better in time.

And then there was James and Jake...

Didn't happen with them either.

_Go figure._

It had always been my trusty rabbit that helped me on oh so many lonely nights while I listened to Nelly Fertado sing _'Man Eater'_ blaring out of my headphones.

Edward was amazing, and he loved me and he was mine. I was his. A wave of euphoria came over me and tears trickled down my cheeks. I wasn't sad. Far from it actually. I don't think I could have been happier.

I felt Edward move from behind me, so I turned to face him, placing a kiss on his lips. He opened his eyes to me staring intently at his face.

"Good morning, love." He said as he kissed me back. He saw the tears on my face, and a look of concern made its way across his face. "What's wrong B? Are you sad? Did I...hurt you last night?"

I smiled at my angel trying to let him know how silly he was. "No, I'm not sad. Actually, I couldn't be happier. I was just thinking about last night and how much it meant to me. Thank you for taking things at my pace. I had never experienced anything like that. Ever. You were amazing. And no. You didn't hurt me. Far from it actually." I looked down as I felt my blush rise thinking about what he did and could do to my body.

He grabbed my chin making me look into his eyes. "I would have waited forever for you Bella. Although I'm very grateful last night happened. I swear I was having internal fucking conversations with my dick the entire night." He laughed and started to blush. "I too had never experienced anything like this." He kissed my cheek as I leaned into his touch. "You're everything that I've been looking for baby. You make me whole. OK, now I'm feeling like a fucking girl. Ugh.... And your pussy. It was so fucking tight. God. I didn't realize sex could be that good."

He kissed my lips with passion as I allowed myself to cling to his chest. I loved hearing him talk like that. It was almost like he couldn't fully express anything that would make him feel too much like a pussy. But I loved him never the less.

And listening to him talk about my tight pussy was making me ache for his touch.

I felt him harden against my stomach as he bucked his hips into me.

_Ready for round two I see._

I rubbed my body against his, eliciting a lovely groan from him. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me down so that he was hovering on top of me. He kissed my neck and chest through my t-shirt and made his way to my stomach where he pushed the shirt up with his nose.

He stopped for a second, and let out the hottest moan I ever heard, making me quiver in anticipation, when he noticed I didn't wear any panties. After a few seconds, which really seemed to be minutes, he continued to kiss my stomach, and finally asked with a smile,

"No panties? I really am the luckiest fucker!" He kissed my tummy as he continued to talk. "No panties ever B. Not that I don't like them, but, I like this sight better." His hands moved slowly up and down my thighs as he continued to kiss and suck up my ribs to my chest.

"I'll remember that." I rolled my eyes then kissed his head and stared into his eyes.

"I want to fuck you again B. Can I do that?" I nodded my head in approval. I wanted it just as bad as he did. "I love your tight pussy. Just thinking of it puts me over the edge. I can't even explain what it felt like to be in you. I want nothing else for the rest of my life. You're it for me." He looked into my eyes. The most serious look in his eyes. "I want to be the only guy that ever touches you like this ever again." His hand lingered against my heated core and I couldn't help but buck my hips up to meet his touch.

I ran my hands through his hair and smiled at him. "You're the first guy to ever touch me like this and you'll be the last. You are it for me too. I don't want anything else." My hands were cupping his cheeks, rubbing my thumbs under his eyes.

His eyes were glossed over, as were mine and a few tears fell down my face at the realization of the words we just spoke to one another.

He wiped my tears with the pad of his thumb as I kissed his cheek where a single tear had fallen.

I know it had only been a few months, but the love I felt for Edward was what I had been searching for my whole life. I wasn't scared anymore of how fast things were moving. I knew that our love could only take us in the right direction. Together.

With my past relationships, I trusted the guys way to early on, and I knew it. But those relationships weren't like this. They were only based on sex, which had been taken a lot sooner than this. There was no connection. There was no love.

With James, I was a stupid little girl who knew nothing about love. And with Jake, I felt like I was doing our fathers a favor for being together.

Edward was in a very different league of his own. Not only did I trust and love him, but also so did Jasper.

_That right there was the deal breaker._

Jasper didn't trust a whole lot of people with me. But he knew Edward, and realized that he wasn't going to hurt me or fuck me over. I loved Edward just a little more knowing that Jasper approved.

The cockiest smile rose from my mans lips as he continued on with his exploration of my body and kissed my slit, taking one lick before coming up to my mouth and placing a wet kiss there. I tasted myself on his lips, which only turned me on more.

I don't know what it was about tasting myself on his lips that did it for me. It wasn't like it was the best taste in the world or anything, but it got him going even more to do it to me, and in return I was more turned on.

Edward shimmied his way out of his boxers, _gave himself a few good rubs_, placed himself over my entrance just like last night, and pushed into me. I was so wet for him; he didn't need to worry about hurting me.

He didn't go slow like last night, there was urgency behind our love this morning. He pushed into me, going as deep as the position would allow. It felt so good to have him inside me again. I moaned out in pleasure, as did Edward. He pushed in and out each time speeding up his pace, bringing me closer and closer to release.

Suddenly he stopped, pulled out, grabbed my waist, turned me over placing me on all fours. I loved the way he took control of the situation. I knew he wasn't going to hurt me, and it was never a worry, so I gave my body over to him completely. He spread my legs with his knees positioning himself between them.

Edward pushed in slowly, and I found a new appreciation for doggy style.

"You like that baby?" Edward asked me while sucking on my shoulder as he thrust into me.

"Fuck...yes...oh God...yes." I couldn't say anything more because he felt so damn good.

He continued fast and hard until my head was banging against the headboard. He stopped for a second before I waved him off so he would keep going_. I would gladly take the pain for the pleasure he was giving me._

He moved us down a few inches, and reached around to rub my clit with his finger and I was done for. I came hard with him following shortly after. Edward continued to thrust in and out of me while he rode his orgasm out. We were both panting; trying to catch our breath by the time he stopped.

He was so fucking awesome; I had a hard time putting together a single thought.

We lay side by side as we caught our breath.

He was caressing my cheek with the backside of his hand when I noticed the bruises and scratches. _Where the fuck had those come from, and how the hell was I just seeing them now? _I grabbed the hand to look at it more closely.

He banged his head against the pillow and let out a low groan.

How the fuck did I not notice this last night? _Oh right...vodka, and more vodka... and hot sex._

"What's going on E?" I asked as I grabbed his other hand that looked identical.

He was fighting.

With who?

"It's nothing. I'm fine B." He tried to pull his hands away. I tightened my grasp and stared into his eyes letting him know that I was serious.

I wanted details and I wanted them now.

"OK fine. You're going to find out anyways. Ben had a tracker on James and followed him to a bar here in the city. Jasper, Emmett and I made our way down there, and I" He stopped talking for a minute. He had the cockiest grin on his face. I slapped his stomach to snap him out of his thought wanting to know what the hell happened. "well, with the help of my two friends righty and lefty, made him aware that I was not OK with the life style he lives."

He fought James. I immediately took in the rest of his body looking for injuries. I knew what James was capable, and I found myself livid that Edward would put himself in that situation.

As relaxed as I had been just a few minutes ago from the second greatest sex, last night taking first place, I found myself tense and utterly pissed.

"What the fuck were you thinking E? He could have killed you! You don't know what he is capable of!" I was pissed and worried and scared all at the same time. The thought of Edward being taken away from me scared me more than any of the beatings that I took in the past.

Edward may have heard my story, and read my book, but he had no fucking idea what James was capable of and what damage he could really do to someone.

Edward began laughing hysterically until he found that I wasn't laughing with him. "B. The guy has nothing on me. I'm a better fighter. I'm sorry to have worried you, but trust me when I say that he didn't even get one punch in. My fists look like they do because of what I did to him. The dirty fucker had everything and then some coming and you know it. I didn't want to tell you where I was going because I was afraid that you would try to stop me. I had to do this B. For you. For us." Edward grabbed for my hand that was sitting on my leg. I let him take it, but let it sit there limply.

My anger quieted and I felt relieved and touched that Edward stood up for me this way. I couldn't be mad at him. Not now, knowing that he was fine and that he did what he thought was best for us.

I had to trust his decisions. That's what relationships were all about.

And if this relationship was going to work, I had to trust Edward to take the initiative and lead us in the right direction. I knew that he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize us.

I always considered James as a threat to me, because he was taller than me, and his size in comparison to mine, but he and Edward were probably close to an equal match. Edward was right, what was I worried about? He used to be a fighter that never lost.

And as far as motivation for Edward to get heated before the fight...well I suppose he had plenty of that. All he needed to do was read through my book, or look at the pictures that we took after Cali.

I bet that rage was pretty similar to what he felt when others egged him on talking about his birth parents.

I opened up my arms for Edward to lay on my chest, which he willingly did. I stroked his hair and kissed his temple as he rubbed circles over my swan tattoo and rubbed his cheek into my naked chest.

If I didn't know any better he was smiling into my chest. Happy at where his head was at the moment.

We lay there for several minutes, neither of us speaking. Then questions were starting to come to me and I needed them answered.

"Where's James now?" I asked not sure I wanted to know the shape he was in after his run in with Edwards fists.

"Ben took over as I was leaving last night. I'm hoping that he's in jail awaiting trial for his crimes." I looked up at Edward with a questioning look. "You weren't the only one B. I've his file. The last one was a 16-year-old girl. The sick fuck."

"I don't want to be on trial." I said it more of a whisper to myself but hoped that he would hear and not make me repeat myself. I knew how this all worked, and I did not want to come face to face with James.

Edward brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it before intertwining it with his own.

"You don't have to B. They have enough information, that if you don't want to, you don't have too. I'm with you on whatever you decide. You've already given your statement. If they need anymore information, they can take it down and have your lawyer present it for you're at the trial." He kissed my chest and nuzzled his ear over my heart.

I nodded in agreement knowing that I wasn't ready to face James. Just the thought of him being in the same room with me again was too much too think about. His eyes glaring at me would give me nightmares for months. And then to think about what Edward had found out about other victims, I felt physically ill.

Inside I knew that I wasn't the only one, but to know that he did this to a child made me physically sick.

The combination of all the alcohol last night and then hearing about the girl he assaulted my stomach churned. I rolled off the bed and ran for the bathroom with my hand clapped over my mouth. I emptied my stomach into the toilet while Edward held my hair back. I told him to leave me alone so I could puke in private, but he just laughed and said that he wasn't going anywhere. _Of all the fucking times that he didn't want to leave me alone…_

When I was done, I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth out in the sink. I leaned against the bathroom wall and pushed myself down to the floor with my knees against my chest, I clenched them close to my body lost in thoughts about the fight and what James had done.

"Baby. He isn't going to hurt you again. Or anyone else for that matter." Edward said as he knelt in front of me. "This is a good thing." Edward gave me a crooked smile that I loved and I was able to give him a small one back.

"I know. It's just a lot to process right now, you know? And what about you? What's going to happen to you for what you did?" I didn't want to think about the possible outcome. Being separated from Edward for any amount of time was not even a thought in my mind.

"Nothing. Ben and I had made a deal. As long as I didn't do anything in public, it's my word against James." The cocky grin was back and I had to trust that he knew what he was doing. He kissed my cheek and helped me to my feet.

"So where do we go from here?" Edward pulled me up with him and we walked back into his room. I went in the dresser to find myself a pair of his boxers to throw on along with his t-shirt so I could make us some breakfast. Edward pulled on the silk pajama pants from last night and we made our way to the kitchen.

"We need to talk to Ben, and see what happened. Then we'll go from there." Edward sat down at the island and pulled a note that was taped to the counter. He started laughing after he read it and looked up at me.

"What?" I asked coming around to stand behind him. He passed me the note and I read it out loud.

_E. I took the opportunity to open up the shop for you figuring you would be sleeping in after...last night. By the way, your room is not sound proof, and I feel fucking terrible for your poor sister if she has to listen to that shit night after night. I think I'm permanently traumatized. _

_I borrowed your key and Alice gave me the code to get in. _

_See ya later fucker!_

_-Alex_

I laughed with Edward, but blushed at the thought of him listening to me last night. I knew that I wasn't quiet, but I guess I got lost in the moment. I wanted to feel bad for the vocals he heard, but seriously, my man was packing some major heat that I was not ashamed of.

_Poor Alex._

_I think I'll bring him lunch for the torture I put him through. And some ear plugs for future use._

Edward pulled me into his side and rubbed my back as I read the note again.

"It's OK baby." He said as he kissed under my ear. "I loved everything I heard. And knowing the perv, he did too. He just has to give me a hard time about it."

"Yeah, but do you realize how much shit we're going to get? If he's anything like the rest of our little family, everyone's already filled in on the dirty deeds." I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck.

"You're right." He ran his hand through his hair and I could hear his barbell against his teeth. "Oh well. I'm not ashamed that I can make my girl scream like that." The cocky grin was back.

"Sorry that I was so loud. I want to say I don't know what came over me, but I do know. And it was fucking awesome!" I stared at him, watching the cocky grin get wider.

"B. You never have to apologize to me for how loud you get. Be as loud as you want. Always." He rubbed down my back and grabbed my ass. "But I have to ask. I know it wasn't my business before, but it kind of is now. What are you on?" He kissed my neck and went down to my collarbone before I pushed him back.

"What am I on?" I asked questioning. Was he seriously asking me about drugs after seeing me smoke weed once before I spilled my fucking story on him? " What do you mean? I mean yeah I smoke the occasional reefer, but are you serious..." I was cut off by Edwards finger over my lips.

"No, no, not that. I mean last night you told me you were covered. And I've never seen you take any pills...so..."

Oh right he wanted to talk about _that_. Another thing that I didn't want to talk about.

"E? How serious are you about wanting a long term relationship with me?" I was dead serious, but he looked at me confused.

"I thought I made myself pretty clear in that room over there." Pointing to his bedroom. "I want you forever B." He grabbed both of my hands in his own and brought them up to his mouth to kiss.

Fuck me, for finding the hottest guy alive and now I have to tell him this.

"Well then there's something else you should know." I pulled myself up on the counter in front of the stool he was sitting on. His arms were wrapped around my thighs.

I didn't want to look at him, but knew I needed to put on my big girl pants and deal with this.

"There's more?" I heard him nervously swallow. As he rubbed circles on my legs.

I nodded my head and pushed my hair behind my ears.

"James?" I nodded again.

" I never went to the Doctor that night...with James.... because I didn't want anyone to know. I knew I was hurt, but I didn't realize how badly. It wasn't something I was comfortable talking to Jazz about, so I just dealt with the pain until I healed. I didn't move hardly at all for the first month after that night while we were in the hotel, and I had a good supply of...things...to make me relax and take the pain away. Over the next few years, my periods were coming less and less frequent, but I figured it was from the stress of the situation. And I was just a kid, so I didn't know what the hell was going on with my body in the first place. When Jake and I met, I went to the Doctor to be put on birth control, but during the physical, I had to explain my history for the first time." I sighed deeply. "He told me from the harshness of the rapes, and the repeated beatings James had inflicted, and because some that were directed solely to my stomach and lower regions, there was too much damage for me to get pregnant." I shrugged in defeat. "I never told Jake that. Made him put a condom on every time. Even though my chances of getting pregnant were one in a million, I didn't need Satan's spawn from him."

Edward let his hands linger my thighs. The moment his eyes met mine, I saw the saddest look on his face I ever saw.

"So...you can't get pregnant? Ever?" His eyes were shining with unshed tears.

"The Doctor said I have a slim chance. And I really haven't had a need to think about it. To this day, I still only get my periods here and there. I haven't had sex in a long time so it hasn't been an issue, well until now." I couldn't stop the few tears that rolled down my cheeks having to explain this last bit of information to him.

"Do you want children B?" His eyes were now sincere as he circled his arms around my waist.

"Of course I do. When the time's right. I have wanted to be a mother since, well I think forever. I want to raise children and not fuck them up like my mom did me." I nudged him. "And when the right guy comes around too."

"I'm right here B. Should I get a poster and hold it up that says, 'B's right guy is here.'" We laughed together at the thought. "But seriously, I know it's only been a few months, but do you?"

"I do. Do you?" We had never talked about this.

"Yes. I want you to have my children. But there are other ways. We can always adopt. Money isn't an issue." He was dead serious.

"I know. I've thought about it myself." I said as I jumped down and kissed him. "But there is still a chance that I could get pregnant. Very slim chance, but it's up to you what you want to do."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me chastely. "I want to have lots and lots of sex with you. And if it's OK, I don't ever want to use a nasty ass condom. I want to feel you completely. There is nothing else I have ever felt in my entire life like being with you, skin on skin. So, we could just have a fuck load of unprotected sex, and see where it takes us. If your chances of getting pregnant are really so low, then we should be fine. Or if you feel more comfortable, you could go on the pill or shot or something. I don't know much about that shit."

I smiled at my sweet Angel. "And if I don't want to go on anything? If our chance arises?"

"Then we will welcome a baby with open and loving arms. Even if it happened right now, we would have 9 months to prepare. And why waste the chance of you getting pregnant? What if we weren't so lucky twice? I want you to have my children Isabella Swan. I want to raise our children just like you said, and not fuck them up for their entire lives."

I couldn't love this man anymore than I already did. He was willing to accept that I may or may not be able to carry his children and was OK with other possible choices.

He had found out about all of my dirty secrets in the last few weeks and was still beside me, and wanting to be with me.

I pushed away from him and hit his chest playfully after kissing him softly on the lips. I went to the kitchen, found some eggs and cheese, and decided to make us some omelets.

While I was cooking there was a knock on the door. Edward went to answer it.

Ben came in behind Edward and sat down at the island.

"Hey Ben. You want some breakfast?" I asked as I started beating the eggs.

"Sure. Hey, I got some information for you Edward." Ben looked at me and then at Edward silently wondering if I knew what went down.

"It's OK, she knows." Edward said as he stretched.

I couldn't help but stare at his beautiful tattooed chest praying to the almighty that drool was not running down my cheek. He caught me staring, smiled looking down at the table and ran his hands through his hair.

I snapped out of my ogling when Ben cleared his throat and Edward laughed. _Oh right, someone else was in the room._

"So anyways," Ben started, shaking his head at me. "After you left last night Edward, I called the cops and placed him under arrest. He was out cold, so when the cops arrived it was easy for me to cover for what he looked like. I said I found him that way. He had lost some bet with a guy inside and didn't pay up. No questions asked."

Edward nodded in agreement with the story. A proud grin crossed his face. I blew out a breath of air that I didn't know I had kept in.

"And..." Edward was more impatient for the results than I was.

"And when we got down to the station, he was booked on the charges that Bella raised. He will spend the next couple of days in county until his trial. Then he will be taken upstate to do his sentence. If I'm correct, he's done. This was his last offense and you wont see him again." I brought Ben a cup of coffee and he took a drink. "I will let you know when I know more."

"How long before his sentencing?" I asked.

"I don't know. It could be a few days or weeks depending on how busy they are down there. But either way, he's behind bars. I have to get going back to Chicago, but I will keep in touch." He said as he got up from the counter.

Edward and I followed him out. I gave Ben a hug, kiss, and thanked him for all he had done for us. Edward gave him a firm handshake and thanked him as well.

As soon as we closed the door, I went to go clean up the kitchen. Edward came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and hugged me tight. I turned around and buried my head into his chest.

"It's almost over baby. It's almost over." He said as he kissed my forehead.

A tear made its way down my cheek that Edward caught his finger. "I know. Then we can finally move on."

Edward held me for a while before we realized how late it was and decided it would be best for us to get dressed and make an appearance at the shop. It was almost like doing the walk of shame but only in front of all of our friends and family and it was going to work, not slipping out from a one-night stand.

Edward got dressed then we made our way back to my place so I could change. I put on a pair of worn-in jeans and a bra, and then put the t-shirt of Edwards that I slept in back on, tying it on the side to shorten it, as it went almost to my knees. I put my hair up in a ponytail, threw on some make up and was ready to go.

We walked to the shop, but stopped to buy coffee and bagels for everyone. _A peace offering was probably a good thing knowing what we were walking into._

When we walked in, Alex was working on a customer, Emmett and Jazz were at the counter talking and Rose and Alice were on the couch out front relaxing whispering to each other about something. Probably us.

As we walked past, I received catcalls from everywhere.

_Alex had definitely opened his mouth_. When I reached him, I stopped for a brief second.

"Alex," I said nodding and then took off towards the counter to put down the bagels.

Alice and Rose gave me knowing glances and couldn't keep the smiles off of their faces.

_Bitches_!

Edward made his way over to his station and looked at his schedule for the day.

Just them Emmett had to pipe up. He slapped Edward across the back with force.

"I'm glad to see that smile on your face little bro. About damn time Bella Barbie put out." Emmett was laughing hysterically followed by Jasper.

Edward just shook his head as he looked up at me as I blushed deeply.

"Yeah. Obviously she wasn't mad about your little romp last night." Jasper was laughing hysterically. "From the sounds of it, she wanted a little action of her own."

_I about died._

Everyone burst out laughing.

Rose rolled off the couch and to the floor followed by Alice.

Edward hit him in the shoulder then flicked him off.

There were no secrets anymore. These fuckers told each other everything.

_Although I didn't really know Alex, he was just as bad as the rest of them!_

I guess our sex life, or the lack of one up until last night was everyone's business, even the client that Alex was working on. Alex stopped what he was working on and looked up at me.

"From the sounds of it, Bella took the _'romp'_ well." He was trying hard not to laugh. His cheeks turned red as he continued. "I don't think it's normal for a 'romp' to last that long though E. You do some damage with that shit?"

At that everyone lost it. Emmett slammed his hands against his desk for effect, and Jasper was on the floor laughing.

I looked up at Edward who looked embarrassed as all hell. He didn't even look at me. I thought I needed to intervene.

"Well," I started clearing my throat. Everyone looked up surprised I was talking. Edwards eyes met mine wondering where I was taking this. "I have nothing to be embarrassed about. Never had a _'romp'_ like that before. I obviously enjoyed myself as all of you know" I glared at Alex. "but I can understand if your jealous of the Energizer Bunny over there" I pointed to Edward. "He keeps going, and going, and going..." I trailed off.

Edward came over to where I was standing, kissed my neck and slapped my ass hard. "And going, and going" He whispered in my ear.

Everyone heard it and began in hysterics again.

The rest of the day continued like that. Inside jokes left and right. But I didn't really care.

Edward and I shouldn't be ashamed of the love that took place last night, and this morning, and probably this afternoon and tonight_.... the list could go on and on._

When everyone calmed down, we took the opportunity to fill everyone in on what Ben had told us. Rose and Alice had already been updated about last night's events before we got there. They were both equally pissed about the fight until they heard that their men had nothing to do with it, were more bystanders than anything else. And Edward was physically OK so there was nothing to be mad about.

I could tell that Edward's hands were soar, he had to flex them a hell of a lot more than usual while he worked. But he continued to tell me he was fine, so I let it go.

Alex stayed until Sunday afternoon. We tried to keep it quiet that night so there were no future stories.

We drove him to the airport and said our good byes. He would be back in a few months and promised to bring his wife for me to meet.

The next 3 weeks flew by with no word from Ben. Edward still didn't let me out of his sight. He said that he wanted to know for sure that James was locked up before leaving me alone. I worked on my book more and more and found that I had a lot of inspiration from my new surroundings.

Edward and I experienced with our new relationship as much as possible. I learned that the peen piercing was as much for him as it was for me. The pleasure I got from that thing alone was better than my vibrator that I had for too many years.

I found myself slowly moving into Edwards place and Alice was moving into ours. I knew we would need to talk soon about our living arrangements so we weren't all going back and forth so much.

Next week is Thanksgiving. Edward asked me to sit down with him on Wednesday to talk about plans.

"So, Thanksgiving is next Thursday." He said as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair. I could hear the clinking of he tongue ring. "And Esme and Carlisle want to meet you and Jasper."

He looked up at me to chance my reaction. "And..." I probed him to continue.

"And I want you to come home with me for the day. I hope it won't be awkward for you. They will love you." His smile was all I needed to see. I would go anywhere with that man and he knew it.

"Of course I'll go. We practically live together and I haven't met your parents yet. Don't you think there is something wrong with that?" I asked. "And besides, you're coming home to meet Mama this weekend, so it would only be fare."

We had made plans to visit Mama Whitlock this weekend for Thanksgiving, and everyone was coming with us, even Emmett and Rose as Emmett said he didn't want to be left out.

"Yeah, about the practically living together thing." He grabbed my hands and stared into my eyes. "I want you to live with me. I talked to Jasper and he and Alice will take your apartment and you and I will have mine. What do you think?"

I didn't even have to think about this one. I knew my answer right away. I jumped into his lap and kissed him hard on the lips. "Of course! Of course I will move in with you." I kissed him again as he pulled me into a tight hug.

That night we started our move. Alice and Jasper were excited that we agreed. Jasper was happy that I would just be across the hallway. As much as I knew he wanted to live with Alice, he and I hadn't been apart for the last 10 years. But I knew this was for the best, as did he. And we would still be close, seeing each other all day every day at the shop and at night if we all got together.

The next day, we got the call we had been waiting for. Edward and I were at home working on supper when his cell phone went off. He answered it, and listened to the man on the other end not saying anything. He quickly said _'thank you' _and hung up the phone. I stood there waiting as Edward came over and picked me up rapping me in a tight hug. He kissed my lips over and over smiling all the while.

"Its done B. James is being taken to the state penitentiary for his sentence. From the sounds of it, he's done." Edward twirled us in a circle as we celebrated the news.

Its over, I thought to myself. He is in jail, and Ben had told Edward that he thought this was his last straw. I just prayed that Ben had his information right.

Edward and I drank and celebrated for the rest of the night. Now, if I could get through this weekend bringing him home, then meeting his parents, I would be good to go.

**A/N: Next up is meeting Mama Whitlock...lots of fun to be hand.**

**Now, hit that review button. Reviews are better than a beat down from fightward and morning after sex.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks for all the support so far. I have really great reviewers and enjoy reading every single one of them. I know the story isn't perfect, but then again, I'm not a real writer and not getting paid to post my work. But it's really fun and a good way to spend some free time. So thanks for over looking my flaws!**

**Thanks goes to Sam for the awesome double-checking for me, I greatly appreciate your help!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight.**

Chapter 15: Southern Fried Chicken and Charmin.

Thanksgiving was going to take place at the Cullen's so the weekend prior, Jasper and I decided to pay Mama Whitlock a visit. We hadn't seen her since we moved to New York and were in dire need of some Mama time. We pretty much came home for just a few hours before packing up Jasper's truck and heading to the city. It had been months since we've seen Mama and I know that both Jasper and I were excited to see her and show off Alice and Edward.

Because of James, we hadn't been home to stay in years. He ruined so many things in my past, and I felt like it was time to start making some things right again. _If not for me, then Jasper._

And even though Jasper and I had weekly conversations with Mama, it just wasn't the same seeing her face to face.

Alice and Edward were meeting the only family Jasper and I had, and we were so excited for the trip. Emmett said he didn't want to be left behind, so he and Rose insisted on coming with saying something about being lonely without the rest of us.

Emmett seriously was such a teddy bear. He would make fun of you for pretty much anything, but would always cave in the end, not wanting to miss out on a single thing. _In the words of Edward, he was damn pansy._

The guys closed down the shop for the weekend, and on Friday morning we all caught a flight home. The flight was uneventful to say the least.

Becoming a part of the mile high club was very tempting, but had to be pushed away once we saw the size of the bathrooms.

_Edward had no say in that one._

However, that didn't stop Alice and Jasper who made their way back to their seats with huge grins from cheek to cheek.

All I could think about was the faucet that she was probably sitting on because there was so little room in those things. _Not my cup of tea to say the least._

At least the subject gave us all something to talk about until the plane landed.

I felt bad for the poor stewardess that had to clean that bathroom.

Once outside the airport, we took the shuttle to Mama's house knowing we wouldn't all fit in her old Ford. As soon as we pulled up to the large white Victorian house, memories of childhood flooded my mind. Jasper's smile grew wide as he stared back at me. The shuttle stopped, we paid the driver as the guys grabbed the luggage, the front door opened and there stood Mama. I dropped my purse to the ground and looked up to the eyes of my Mama.

She was the only person I could truly call Mama. _My Mama._

She stood there against the door with a glass of iced tea in her hand smiling. She was beautiful, her blonde hair up in a bun, scrubs still on her tiny frame, probably just off of her shift at the hospital.

Jasper looked up to meet the eyes of his Mama. The smile on his face couldn't be wiped off even if you tried.

Jasper ran up the lawn, onto the front porch towards Mama, as she set down her glass and pulled her into a hug swinging her in the air. I followed suit after him and wrapped my arms around the two of them.

"Oh! My babies! My babies are home!" She kissed and hugged us both as we basked in the warmth only one person in this entire world gave us.

"Hi Mama. I've missed you so!" Jasper said kissing his mother on the cheek.

She took his face in her hands and kissed him on the lips. "My babies are home! I'm so glad to see you both. How have you been? Oh Jasper, you got skinnier! Isn't Bell feeding you?" Her questions came out all at once, excitement overtaking her. _Seriously Mama, slow the fuck down and ease up on the Boones._

Jasper wrapped his arms around Mama. "Oh Bell is feedin' me just fine. And so is Alice." He pointed in the direction of Alice leaning against Emmett's arm.

_It was funny how Jasper's accent came out more when we were home, and around Mama._

I never really picked up the accent even though I lived there for my entire child hood. _I guess I was never meant to be a country girl._

Jasper held out his hand for Alice to join us and she ran up the lawn and took his hand. "Mama, this is Alice. Alice this is my Mama." Jasper's smile could not have gotten larger at that moment.

Jasper had never brought a girl home to meet his mama, and it was cute to watch. This was as big a moment for him as it was for Alice.

Alice held out her hand, but Mama wasn't having any of that. She scooped little Alice into a hug and kissed her cheek. _Don't break the Pixie, she's fragile!_

"It's so nice to finally meet the famous Alice." She stared at Alice with loving eyes. "I'm hoping my Jasper's takin' care of ya' darlin'."

Alice nodded. "Very much so Mrs. Whitlock, and it is so nice to meet you as well."

"Oh hun, call me Mama. That's what everyone calls me." Mama smiled at Alice as she cupped her cheek in the palm of her hand.

Mama liked her. This was a good start to the weekend.

I looked over at Edward and motioned for him, Rose and Emmett to come up. He nodded and stuck his hands in his pockets.

He was nervous. _Poor guy_.

_I could only imagine the sound of his tongue ring running across his teeth._ In all literal senses, he was meeting the only family I had left. It was so cute to see him nervous.

"And who do we have here Bell?" Mama asked as she stared my man down with a sly smile playing across her lips.

_God I couldn't believe it, she was checking him out!_

I would have to give her shit for that later.

"Mama, this is my Edward. I mean my boyfriend Edward." I looked down and brushed the hair out of my face as I stumbled over my words. _Good going Bell, give her something to use against you later!_

Edward was then hugged and kissed by Mama, _who I think held him just a little longer than necessary._

She pretty much assaulted my man, and I laughed as he stared at me with a worried look. He didn't know what to do or how to react.

But I couldn't blame her, he was fucking hot if I do say so myself. _And I do say so myself, by the way._

"My my Bell. He sure is handsome." She said smiling at him. Edward just blushed and ran a hand through his hair. "You sure do know how to pick 'em." _Yes Mama, yes I do._

We introduced her to Emmett and Rosalie and she was just as welcoming to them both. The guys brought all of our stuff up as we made our way in the house.

"Now I know times have changed, but while you're here, it will be boys in Jasper's room, and girls in Bells. You hear me?" She tried to sound stern, but it just wasn't her nature. "And I must say I am a pretty heavy sleeper, so you better not wake me." _Hint hint._

_The dirty broad._

She was practically giving us the go ahead to sneak off to our boyfriends in the middle of the night.

Part of me felt like I was 16 all over again trying to sneak my boyfriend over for the night, but the other part of me reminded me that I was a grown adult in a committed relationship, oh and that I lived with the sexy man on my right and was _'allowed'_ to have him in my room.

Charlie would be rolling in his grave if he heard the pervy things that went through my mind. _God bless my daddy_.

After we brought our stuff upstairs, Rose went to use the bathroom, and Alice decided to go check out Jasper's bedroom. As I opened my bedroom door, I was brought back 10 years in time.

I hadn't been in this room since high school. James ruined everything for me. Mama had visited us several times a year in Chicago, but we never stayed here for more than a few hours at a time for the few trips we had made home.

We didn't want James following us and giving Mama any trouble.

Although all the room held now was a bed and a dresser, my memories showed me where everything was. I went over to the dresser and wiped my hand across the top rubbing my fingers over the _J+B=4ever_ that was engraved there.

I remembered the day that Jasper had done that with his pocketknife and what hell Mama had given him for ruining her furniture. _I believe she chased him around the house with his dad's belt, but he was faster and out ran her._

She eventually got over it thinking it was _cute_ that Jasper would do that for me.

Arms were wrapped around my waist and I slumped back against the familiar body. Edward kissed the side of my neck and nuzzled his nose behind my ear.

"So this is where you lived huh?" He asked kissing down my neck.

"Yup. This is where I grew up. This was my room. And I know it doesn't look like much now, but it used to be home." _I was grinning like a fucking fool, showing my boyfriend my childhood bedroom._

I turned around to smile at him. He pulled me in for a quick kiss before I pulled away and started walking around traveling down memory lane. _Later buddy._

"I remember everything E." I pointed to the dresser. "I used to have tons of pictures of me and Jazz taped all along the sides of the mirrors. And over here," I pointed to the wall above my bed. "I had hundreds of picture of Leonardo Dicaprio, Devon Sawa, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Johnny Depp cut out from magazines plastered across the wall. God I was such a girl."

I laughed as Edward kissed me again. His eyes showed me he was enjoying this just as much as I was.

"And my bed used to seem so big" I looked at the twin size bed and cringed. "Now it looks so small. It used to have a dark purple comforter on it, and the walls were purple too." I looked at the now white walls.

Edward grabbed my hand and brought us over to sit on the bed. "I think we could fit. That is if we snuggle." Edward leaned back and I followed, leaning on his chest as we lay there for a few minutes talking about my little bed and what we could do with it. "I think we could make it work. You want me to sneak in here tonight so that we can fool around?"

I hit him in the chest giggling to myself as he looked at me and said, _'what_?' _Yes, yes I did want him to sneak in tonight, but didn't want him to be without a dick come tomorrow morning when Mama found him. I liked the man downstairs!_

I got up and went over to the closet and opened the door. There inside were markers of Jasper's heights and mine since we were 8 years old. This had been a storage room before I moved in and Mama made it my bedroom.

I ran my hands over the markings letting my fingers graze the subtle notches in the wood. "Every year on Jasper's birthday, we would come in here and mark our current heights." I ran my hands over the markings again, taking it all in. I had forgotten about them until I came in here.

"And Jasper and I would play games on the floor as kids thinking this was our _'special'_ play room, and hide under the sheets and old furniture Mama had in here. And we would play dragons and knights. Jasper was always the knight that rescued me from the dragon, because I was the princess."

Edward laughed giving me my favorite crooked smile. "And who was the dragon?" _Could he get any frickin cuter?_

"Well Mama of course. Who else?" I asked laughing. "Mama used to get down on all fours and crawl around with us chasing after me until Jasper would get her with his cardboard sword."

Edward wrapped his arms around me again so that I was facing his chest.

"You are so adorable talking about your childhood B. I don't think I've heard you say this much about it ever. And you're so happy." He kissed the tip of my nose as I closed my eyes enjoying his touch.

"I _was_ happy. This place makes me happy. This was always my safe haven from James. He rarely came here. And when he did, he wasn't allowed in. Mama didn't like him. Thought he was a bad egg. So I always felt safe here...after.... everything happened." I looked down, not wanting to meet his eyes.

He tilted my chin up so he could look into my eyes. "Sounds like Mama knew what she was talking about when she said James was a bad egg. I like her already."

"I think she likes you too. In fact from the way she was ogling you earlier, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't have a little crush on you." I hit his shoulder playfully.

"B. Are you jealous of the 50 something year old mom who has the hots for me?" He kissed my collarbone and let his lips linger. "Jealousy is hot B. _Fucking hot_."

"Edward!" I pushed him away as his hands traveled down my body as they found my ass. "There are too many people in the house." I pulled away from him. "But later, you better come find me."

I ran off as he smacked my ass. I giggled as he ran after me.

The smell of fried chicken stopped me dead in my tracks as I took in the familiar aroma. Edward ran into me pushing us both to the floor. We fell with a big thump and laid there laughing while everyone ran to see what happened.

"What the fuck Bell?" Jasper asked as he held out his hand to help me up.

Mama was standing behind him and smacked him on the back of his head.

"Jasper, don't use that fowl language in my house." She glared at him, trying not to crack a smile. "That shit just isn't right!"

We all burst out laughing, including Mama and Jasper.

Mama had a mouth on her and never cared too much if we swore as long as it wasn't in a fight with each other.

"Sorry Mama." Jasper said as he helped me up and then Edward. "Just trying to watch out for Bell like you taught me." He gave her the sheep eyes.

_Still a fucking Mama's boy I see._

"Damn right. I taught you to respect the ladies. Does he respect you Alice?" Alice stared up at Jasper with a shit-eating grin. _Fuck my life. Whatever was gonna come from the little Pixie's mouth was not going to be good._

"Oh Mama, he respects me alright. _Every night_." I burst into giggles again as Rose fell into Emmett's side.

"Good then. Now on with some supper. Who's ready for some fried chicken?" Mama made her way back towards the kitchen.

All the boys raised their hands like they were in elementary school and we all burst out laughing again.

My sides were killing me from all the laughs, and tears were streaming down my cheeks. I looked around to see everyone looked the same. _God I loved these fools._

We made our way into the kitchen following the smells of my past. It was great to be home, even if it was only for a few days.

Mama grabbed a gunnysack of corn and put it in Edward's arms. He looked at her quizzically like he didn't know what the fuck to do. _My poor baby was such a city boy._

"You boys go out and husk some corn for us." She said smiling at him then getting back to work.

Edward nodded his head; he looked at me with a questioning look on his face. If I were to guess, Edward had never husked corn in his life. _Probably bought it in the frozen isle at the grocery store in neat little chunks._

Jasper smacked him on the back making him fall forward before he caught himself.

"Come on E. I'll go show you how it's done." Jasper led the way and the boys went outside. Emmett followed like a lost puppy.

Mama was standing over the stove wearing an apron, a big frying pan full of grease in front of her. I went to work on cleaning the chicken; while Rose and Alice stood there like the city girls I knew and loved.

I rolled my eyes and went to work on the chicken while they took seats at the table to watch us.

"So girls, you always lived in the city?" Mama wasn't one to shy away from getting answers. They weren't your average farm girls, that much was obvious from the heals they wore, and the name brand clothing, that obviously didn't come from Walmart or Tom Thumb.

"Yes. Born and raised in New York." Alice said pulling at her nails. My little Alice was nervous in front of her boyfriend's mom.

_Cute_.

Mama snickered at Alice and went back to prepping supper.

"Oh come on Tink, this is Mama. No need to be nervous around her. Loosen up. Go grab a beer. That'll help." Alice glared at me for a second before taking my advice and went to the fridge.

"Mama, you don't have nearly enough beer to suppress these boys. We'll run out within an hour with the way your son drinks!" Alice stared in the fridge and laughed at her own joke.

Mama wiped her hands on her apron and went to get her purse. She came back with a set of keys and threw them at Alice.

"I would suggest you go and re-stock then, '_Tink'_." Mama looked at me and I laughed. "I like the nickname Bell. She does kinda resemble a fairy doesn't she?" Rose snickered in the corner trying to hide her laugh. "You going with her Blondie? Or did you want to help out with supper?" She never did beat around the bush and seemed to have nicknames for the people she liked.

Rose nodded then jumped up and grabbed Alice's arm leading the way to the door. _Go figure. Rose wasn't one to get her hands dirty._

"Oh, and pick me up some Boone's Farm. I'm in the mood to relax." Mama called as they were leaving.

"Boones Farm?" Rose asked with a raised eyebrow. "Mama, that shit is so nasty. We used to drink that back in high school when it was the only thing we could get."

"Call it what you want Blondie, but I like it!" Mama went back to work over the stove as the girls left.

It was just the two of us now working side by side in the kitchen. Just like we used too. Despite what Edward knew I was actually a great cook. Everything I knew I learned from Mama. However, I rarely cooked. Not that I didn't want to, but it was more '_our'_ thing to do together when we were home.

_OK, so I was lazy too, but that's beside the point, right?_

"So you and the tattooed guy, huh?" She asked as she breaded the chicken. _That doesn't say much…_

I snickered. "Which one? They all were the last time I checked." She rolled her eyes at me.

"The one that has the eyebrow piercing, and his tongue too from the way it sounds. And the one that who's drop dead gorgeous." Mama's cheeks turned red and I thought I even heard her moan. _Do you need a moment? I mean, I could step out if that's what you need._

"Are you blushing Mama? Over my boyfriend?" I couldn't help but hold back a laugh.

"Well, it doesn't hurt anything to look, am I right Bell? I am a single lady you know!" Mama was grinning ear-to-ear thinking about my man.

"Absolutely not. You look all you want. I know which bed he sleeps in at the end of the night." She swatted my butt, which only made me laugh harder.

_Messing with her was too much fun._

"OK missy, point taken. He's yours, blah blah blah." She turned the chicken in the pan and jumped back when the grease popped. He face grew solemn as she looked down at the pan. "Just, tell me he is treating you well."

"He's treating me just fine Mama. Better than any man _ever_ has. Except Jasper that is. He always did treat me like a princess. Still does, although I've stepped aside so he could put Alice as queen where she belongs."

Mama stopped with the chicken and took my hands in hers. "You deserve to be happy darlin'. That's all I ever wanted for you. All Charlie ever wanted too. If Edward treats you well, then that's all I ask." She pulled me into a hug as I rubbed her back.

"The best Mama. He treats me the best." I kissed her cheek as we smiled at each other.

We held each other for a few minutes in silence. Mama's hugs were worth a million bucks, and I had been craving one for quite some time, especially after everything I went through with James.

Mama never knew what happened with Jake or James. _Well she knew something happened, but never full details anyways. _Jasper's father was never in the picture from what I remember, but she did have a few bad boyfriends here and there that drank too much and pushed her around. Although she never said it, I knew she knew I had my own dark past.

I kissed her cheek again and went back to work.

I looked towards the screen door to see the guys standing there, and leave it to Emmett to ruin the moment.

"Have I died and gone to heaven? Did I just see you two kissing?" Jasper elbowed him in the ribs, and Edward rolled his eyes. A slight blush crept along his cheeks. _How does it feel to be the one blushing, Adonis?_

"Leave it to you Emm." I rolled my eyes at him as Mama got back to cooking. "Yes, that is exactly what you walked in on. We secretly have a thing on the side."

"Always have had a thing for my Bell." Mama added as she smacked my ass playfully.

Emmett and Edward burst out laughing. _Jasper looked mortified_.

"Seriously Mama. None of that shit. I already have to deal with these two everyday" He motioned between Edward and I. "And I don't think I can take anymore. I would actually like to enjoy your cookin' rather than sitting over the toilet emptying my stomach with these thoughts."

"Jazz, seriously. A little over dramatic don't you think?" She asked him. "Now come over here and give your mama a kiss."

_Jasper did as his mama told him and gave her a kiss on the cheek._

Mama motioned for Edward to come over with the corn he was holding. She grabbed a hold of his upper arm and gave it a squeeze. _For the love of all things holy. He was going to get molested before the weekend was over._

"My my, Edward. You sure do have some fine arms on you boy." Edward turned beat red. I just laughed as Mama felt him up.

Edward kissed her cheek and leaned towards her. "You can thank B for them."

Oh my God.

_Did he really just say that?_

I didn't realize that everyone would be so comfortable with each other so soon, but then again at least we were all being ourselves.

_No show here. That's for sure._

Mama gave me a knowing smile and directed Edward to a big pot of boiling water and he threw the corn in.

"Where are Rose and Allie?" Emmett asked as he looked through the fridge pulling out beers for all the guys, then handing one to Mama and me.

"Well big guy, Tink made a comment about how much you guys drink and thought it would be a good idea to stock my fridge."

Edward looked at me when Mama called Alice _Tink_. I just nodded and took a pull from my beer.

Alice and Rose returned a few minutes later, several bottles of Boones Farm in hand. The guys went out and unloaded the truck carrying in case after case of beer. I laughed at how much they had bought, and then remembered who they were buying for. _Can you say, lush?_

We sat down for supper a few minutes later, each of us with a beer. Mama with a large glass of Boones.

Mama said grace and we all dug in. Good thing it was Mama saying grace. I don't want to even think about what would have come from any of our mouths, especially Emmett's.

'_Dear Lord. Thanks for giving me a smokin' hot wife to go home to every night and __**'respect'**__, and a kick ass job. Oh, and God bless baby Jesus, and stilettos too.'_

Something like that would definitely have made its way out.

After dinner, the boys washed dishes while us girls went out and sat on the porch talking about random shit. A while later, the guys came out to join us. Edward was carrying a case of beer with him and sat down next to me on the floor.

I looked at the case and then up at him with a questioning look.

"What? So we don't have to keep going in every 5 minutes." He kissed my cheek and grabbed me a new bottle.

"It just feels so old school. We used to do this back in high school when someone was having a party out in a barn. Remember that Jazz?" I took a long pull from my beer.

Jasper took a drink and nodded. "Yeah I remember." He took another drink, then smiled looking down at his bottle. "God that was a long time ago. We were what 15, 16 Bell?" I nodded and looked down at my bottle playing with the label.

We stopped going out after I met James. No more barn parties or out with our friends. It was in that moment that I was reminded how much Jazz had given up for me in his life. He never left me alone after James and really missed out on being a kid, doing normal things.

I wiped a tear away from my eye before anyone noticed. I looked up at Jasper to see the same look on his face. He knew me better than anyone, and had to know what was going through my mind.

Mama broke the air when she saw the exchange between Jazz and I, and got us talking about the city. She was very interested in Edwards shop, _paying special attention to every word he said_, and even more interested that all the guys worked together. She snickered after finding out that Rose was a model, saying something like _'well of course Blondie is a model_.' Rose went over and sat with Mama, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

_It was all in fun, and she knew it._

Mama and Alice got along well. Alice was no longer nervous, and the little pixie that I knew and loved was talking about piercing Mamas nose, which she utterly refused to do.

We sat around all night, getting hammered off case after case of beer that we drank. Mama turned in around midnight and we sat out on the porch continuing on.

"Bell? Do you remember when we TP'd Banners house after he gave us a D on that project for Biology?" Jasper asked as he stroked Alice's hair as she lay in his lap.

Edward choked on his beer and stared at me.

"TP'd?" _He is so not with me._

What a city boy.

Who didn't know what TP'd was?

"Toilet papered baby." I said as I kissed his cheek. "We toilet papered his house and trees, and car. He was so unfair. I thought our project rocked. He just didn't like us." _For no good reason of course._

"Maybe that's because we came to class hung over every other day Bell." I nodded as everyone broke out laughing. "And it probably didn't help that we were constantly hitting each other to stay awake because his lectures were so fucking boring." _Ok, maybe he had a little bit of reason not to like us._

Emmett stood up with a cocky grin. _Nothing good ever came from that grin._

"We should do it!" He said as he pulled Rose up with him.

"What are you talking about Emm?" She asked as he smacked her ass. _Oh here we go._

"Toilet papering. We should go toilet paper a house." _I knew it!_

Edward and Jasper were standing at this point pulling Alice and I up.

The guys had a wicked look in their glossed over eyes. _Now the beer starts talking, and our guys have moved to the wayside to let it have its say._

"Do you remember where Banner lives Bell?" Jasper looked like his eyes were on fire.

He clapped his hands together like a little kid.

"Of course I do. How could I forget?" _We're we really going to do this?_

As if he heard my question Jasper answered. "Yes Bell. We really are going to do this."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I finished off my beer. _I guess this could be fun. I mean it was the last time, but that was like what, 10 years ago?_

"OK Well we need some supplies. Mama is going to kill us if she finds out again Jazz."

I thought about the last time we were caught. Jasper was grounded for weeks, and I was stuck on kitchen duty for a month. But that was the trade off for her not ratting us out. The only reason she knew in the first place was because her stocked closet was greatly depleted, and then the rumors started about a house being TP'd. It was a good time, and I don't regret it!

I led the way into the house to the supply closet she had at the end of the hallway.

_God bless Mama for shopping at Sam's Club. We had more than enough supplies._

Jasper stole the keys to Mama's truck and we made our way outside. We were all shit faced, but decided that Jasper would be the best fit to drive as it was his Mama's truck and if we got in trouble he could take the blame.

_What a fool for being talked into that one._

Jasper, Alice and Rose got in the front, while Emmett jumped in the bed of the truck grabbing another case of beer from Edward. Edward jumped up and held out his hands to help me in.

I kinda felt like we were kids again. Stealing trucks, booze cruising, toilet papering houses and riding in back of the big diesel Mama had for the last 15 years. _I swear the thing was on its last leg._

We sped off down the road in the dark of night towards Banners house. Jasper parked the truck a few blocks down and we got out sneaking across his neighbors lawns.

Everyone was asleep, as it had to be close to two in the morning by this time. But we didn't want to get caught, so we tried to be as quiet as possible.

_That only lasted so long._

We were all drunk and kept tumbling over each other laughing at one another as we fell to the ground. The only nice thing was when I fell, _which was often_; I fell on the rolls of soft TP that were in my hands.

_God Bless Charmin._

After a quick lesson on how to properly toilet paper a tree, _because yes, there was a technique,_ we all got to work on his trees, deck, car and flower bushes. I made sure his post box was nicely covered and shoved wet TP inside for him to find later. _It was wet from the puddle on the ground, don't be a perv!_

30 minutes later we were running back to the truck, jumped in, and sped off towards home.

We were all laughing so hard at what we had just done that I really did almost piss myself. _No seriously, I thought about going back for some of the TP, but thought against it._

Edward held me close in between his legs, as we let the hot Texas wind blow over us.

"I can't remember when I had that much fun B." Edward kissed my cheek. "Thank you for letting me come home with you."

"Of course E. I'm glad you got to meet Mama. Although I think she has the hots for you." _I don't think it, I knew it. Edward was most likely the star of her dreams tonight. Ah! Mental pictures!_

"Of course she does. Have you looked at me lately?" _Every chance I get! _ I hit him in the shoulder as he tightened his hold on me.

I looked up at him and wiped a line of sweat off his forehead.

"Yeah actually I have looked at you, every chance I get. And I don't blame her. I have the hots for you too. Just thought you'd like to know." I kissed him on the lips quickly, but he had other plans. He took my head in his hands and kissed me long and hard.

Emmett cleared his throat reminding us we weren't alone. _Fucking cockblocker, come on, for once in my life, just let us be!_

"OK, seriously, enough of that shit little bro. Stomach full of beer, cant handle the PDA right now." He banged on the window to get Jasper's attention. "Speaking of which, I need to take a piss."

Jasper pulled over on the dark road, and all three guys jumped out, standing side by side to relieve themselves. I sat in the back leaning through the window talking to the girls when we heard the guys talking to each other.

They were seeing who could spell their girls name the best with their aim. The three of us just stared laughing and waiting for the results.

Emmett won.

_Not sure if it is something to be proud of, but he did indeed win._

The guys got back in and we headed for home.

For being as hammered as he was, Jasper got us home in one piece, not even a scratch on the truck.

_That takes practice!_

The girls took off towards my room and the guys towards Jasper's. We each had ideas to swap rooms, but were just too tired to actually try. Mama had laid out sleeping bags for us and we crashed for the night.

The next morning, I awoke to the smell of bacon. Alice and Rose were still sleeping off their hangovers as I made my way downstairs and saw Mama cooking away.

I kissed her cheek before pulling myself up on the counter to sit and talk while it was still quiet. Jasper made his way down moments later and it was the three of us.

_Just like it used to be._

Mama went into 20 questions about our new lives, my book, Jasper's art, you name it. It was peaceful and relaxing just like it used to be on a Saturday morning.

Slowly, everyone else started to trail in looking like shit ran over. Mama made us eggs and bacon while we sipped on coffee.

No one was moving to fast, all hung-over from the previous night's activities. We relaxed through out the afternoon and evening catching up with Mama.

Everyone loved Mama and her sense of humor just like I knew they would.

The rest of our weekend flew by fast just as I knew it would. On Saturday night we got brave and swapped rooms. Jasper and Alice were in his room, and Rose and Emmett took mine. Edward and I decided on the front porch swing.

Edward decided that it was play time and decided to strip me naked right there on the porch as he took me over the swing, the stairs and finally against the front door. I was scared someone was going to see us, but was thankful Mama didn't have to many neighbors that were around, and it was 3 in the morning, and no one was awake. _But the cows across the road got a good show, that's for sure. _ When Edward decided he had enough playtime for the night, we lay out across the swing, me cuddled into his side. I couldn't have been happier sleeping side by side with him outside, enjoying the hot Texas breeze.

The only damper on the night was listening to Jasper and Alice's giggles, _and_ the squeak of my bed coming from the second floor.

_Those noises will forever be engrained in my brain._ I now know how Emmett and Jasper felt after hearing us in the back room at the shop.

I would try to consider their feelings next time. _Maybe._

Mama found us out there early in the morning, and snickered waking us both up.

Sunday morning we said our goodbyes and boarded the plain to go home. We made plans to come back closer to Christmas. She insisted Rose and Emmett come home too.

_They were now honorary members of the family._

Mama was all I had left for family. She and Charlie were very close before he was killed. I always thought they had something going on, but didn't feel it was my place to ask.

Mama never asked questions when we up and moved after high school. She knew something had gone on and that it was a subject that was not going to be talked about. So she let us go. We stayed in good contact over the years, and when we moved from Chicago to the city, she was the only one outside of my editor that knew. Again, she never asked questions, and she never pried.

It wasn't her way.

And I loved her even more for that.

I didn't want her to know what had happened to me. I didn't want her to have to go through the pain of knowing.

As the shuttle pulled away from her house I watched as she stood in the door way waving. I felt my eyes tear up, and Edwards arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders. I knew we would be back soon, but still sad to leave.

A few minutes into the drive, my phone beeped with an incoming message. I heard Jasper's do the same.

I looked down and read it as I heard him laughing.

_I seem to missing some rolls of toilet paper kids. Am I going to hear about Banners house again? I'm not covering for you this time! Some kids never learn. But I love you both never the less. –Mama_

I new exactly what I was getting her for Christmas this year.

A year's supply of toilet paper.

And not the cheap stuff.

Only the best for my Mama.

**A/N: Have you ever been TP'ing before? If not, you have really missed out on a good time. Just don't get caught.**

**Oh, and for the record, I don't condone drinking and driving. But it just fit here.**

**Push the review and send me some luv.**

**Reviews are better than listening to the bed squeaking in Bella's room!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Bella and the gang head out for Thanksgiving at the Cullen's. Who's ready for some turkey? Oh, and a little smut here and there too. What would a holiday be without a little of that?**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I however, own me a nice slice or Edward pizza that I like to enjoy as often as possible!**

Chapter 16: Meet The Parents

BPOV

"I don't know what you're so damn nervous about, B." Edward hugged me in close to his side rubbing my shoulder as he kissed my head. _Was he serious? I was meeting his parent for the first fucking time and I wasn't supposed to be nervous? Puh-lease!_

"Not nervous." A small giggle escaped my mouth as I spoke. _Yeah I was nervous, but I wasn't going to admit it._ I mean I was just meeting the parents of the man I loved for the first time. What's there to be nervous about? Right? "It'll be fun!" I gave him as much enthusiasm I had knowing that he would see through me and how fake it was.

Edward gave me the crooked smile I loved so much as he rolled his eyes at me, then looked out the window dropping the subject.

It was Thanksgiving morning and we were on our way to the Cullen's. They lived upstate and it was about a 2-hour drive from the city. _This however, was only one of their houses._ They had a penthouse here in the city too where they stayed on weekdays while Carlisle worked, but enjoyed as much time out at the estate as they could. _Two house, and we lived in an apartment. Hm… We may need to look into this situation a little further._

I wondered why I hadn't met them earlier, but Edward explained that they were very busy with their work and high society life. _High society life meets tattoo city? Hmm…. how does that work out?_

All six of us piled into Emmett's jeep around 10am and away we went. Edward whispered that we were almost there when he noticed me fidgeting more as the time went on. My nails were torn to shit and my legs were bouncing in anticipation. I found myself staring out the window at all of the gated mansions we were passing, thinking we were so not in Kansas anymore, Toto. These people obviously had a shit load of money. _No shit, what gave it away genius?_

I looked down at what I was wearing for the hundredth time today and pulled at my skirt, hoping it wasn't to short. Edward had said that I looked hot when I got dressed this morning, but _'hot'_ really wasn't what I was going for, meeting the parents for the first time and all. Sophisticated, intelligent, worthy of dating your son was more of what I was hoping to present. I know I didn't look like a hoochy or anything; I was pretty much covered but still felt a little self-conscious. I had on a v-neck baby blue sweater with a black skirt that was a few inches above my knees. So even though I knew I didn't look too slutty, I still didn't want to come off that way, and my loving boyfriend would never tell me even if I did. He once told me _'the less clothes, the better'_, so he definitely was not the person to ask about appropriate _'meet the parents'_ apparel.

I was brought out of my internal rant as I felt Edward run his hand up my thigh going for my center and I clamped my legs shut on his hand, glaring at him. _What the fuck was he doing? In a car full of our friends none the less._

"Mr. Cullen, what might I ask are you doing?" I whispered in his ear so that no one would feel the need to look back and stare at us. I _tried_ to sound mad but ended up smiling mid sentence.

I knew better than anyone that I would _never _refuse anything this man had to offer to me. _And I mean never._

Edward pride my legs open with his strong hands enough to pass by, and rubbed my clit through my panties making my head fall back onto his chest. _Oh dear baby Jesus that felt good. _ I instantly felt myself getting turned on and had to remember we were in a vehicle with 4 other people. We were in the back seat with Jasper and Alice in front of us, Emmett and Rosalie driving. Rose had her music so loud that I hoped no one would hear us, because as everyone knew, _I was not exactly quiet._

Edward continued to rub my clit through my panties making my legs spread willingly, then got brave and pushed them to the side and slid two fingers in my wet folds. I gave him a panicked look but couldn't help but move my hips making his fingers go deeper, exactly where I needed them. Jasper was literally a foot in front of us and could turn back and watch the show at any time.

_I think that turned me on just a little more knowing that we could be caught at any second._

Edward sucked on my ear lobe and I had to swallow back a moan. He whispered in my ear as he continued his motions below. "It's OK, love. No one is going to notice. You just gotta be quiet, OK?" He kissed my neck once as I nodded and leaned further into his side.

_Why fight it, right?_ It felt to damn good to stop right now.

Edward continued to pump his fingers in and out of me, rubbing my clit with his thumb as I rubbed myself on the seat trying to keep on the same rhythm. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but let out low moans here and there. Edward would just smile and kiss my lips trying to silence me. A few more pumps and I came hard in his hand. I was on cloud nine as I rode my high out and let the feel of Edward's fingers take my entire body over. He finally pulled his hand out of my panties as soon as I looked a little more _'with it'_, and brought them to his mouth sucking them clean.

_I would never get sick of seeing him when he does that._

And I guess he needed to get them clean one way or another, seeing that he would be shaking hands with his father in a matter of minutes and probably didn't need to be giving him a taste of my pussy.

_God, that would be weird, and I'm just a little grossed out that I even thought of it!_

_I am such a perv!_

I looked up at Edward and found that he was smiling from ear to ear. He was a little smug looking, but I couldn't blame him. He got his girl off in the back seat of a loaded vehicle with his family and my overprotective best friend inches away. I would be a little smug too if I was able to pull something like this off.

_The drive home could be my turn!_

No one said anything for the remainder of the ride, so I figured we got by un-noticed. I leaned my head into Edward's chest and rode the high he had just given me, smiling like a drunk no longer staring out at the mansions we passed.

"Are you more relaxed now?" He whispered, kissing the side of my head.

I gave him a curious glance at his question. _That's why he got the sudden urge to get me off minutes from his childhood home in a vehicle filled with our family._ I rolled my eyes and nodded in appreciation.

A few minutes later, we arrived at a black rod iron gate. Emmett rolled down his window and entered a code and the gate opened. As we drove up the long drive, I was taken back by how beautiful the estate was. The property was covered in rose bushes and trees, very calming scenery. We finally made it up to the house and Emmett pulled the jeep around to the front door. Edward who helped me out so I didn't show anything with my skirt followed Alice and Jasper out. As he put me on my feet, I swayed a little before catching my footing. _I blamed it on the heels the devil Pixie insisted that I wear, but really I'm sure it was from the amazing orgasm I was just given and still coming down from_. We were standing next to the jeep for a second talking while everyone gathered their things, when Emmett broke out laughing.

"Bella Barbie, you looked a little flushed sweetie!" He said in between laughs. "Are you feeling OK?"

Jasper looked to the ground, but I could tell that he was blushing, and Alice and Rose were snickering to each other. Edward just glared at him, silently telling him to _'shut the fuck up'_.

I blushed as I always did when I was called out on my appearance, but figured that Emmett needed a taste of his own medicine.

"Oh, I'm feeling more than alright, but thanks for thinking of me big brother! I'm feeling relaxed thanks to that _incredible_ drive we had in your jeep." I shot back, looking at Edward and giving him a sexy smile. Emmett continued to laugh and Edward winked at me as we made our way up to the front door. Alice, Rose and Jasper tried to compose themselves before we actually met up with the parents.

We didn't need them asking, _'what's so funny?'_

Edward walked right in leading the rest of us through the entryway. The Cullen's house was beautiful. And I guess for a doctor and designer, you had money. Esme obviously did all of the decorating and I assumed from just how her house was arranged that her business was flourishing. Edward grabbed my hand as he led us into the kitchen.

"This is amazing Edward." I said as we walked, grabbing his arm with my free hand. "This is where you grew up?"

"Yup. This is home. My mom likes nice things." He said, noticing me looking around. The smile he had on his face thinking of his mother was sincere and breathtaking.

We made our way into the kitchen where a dark haired slim woman was working at the stove. She turned at the sound of us, and Edward brought me to his side, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Hi mom." Edward's mothers held out her arms for a hug as Edward gave her a one armed hug not wanting to let me go. He kissed her on the cheek then looked to me. "Mom, this is my Bella. Bella, this is my mother, Esme."

Esme looked at me and smiled. She opened her arms for a hug and I gladly accepted, giving her the best hug I could as Edward still had his arm tight around me. "You have a beautiful home Mrs. Cullen. It's so nice to finally meet you."

"Oh call me Esme dear. Mrs. Cullen is Carlisle's mother." I nodded in agreement thankful that she wasn't an uptight bitch. _I know, I know, with her kids outgoing as they are, I didn't really think that she would really be an uptight bitch, but life can play some cruel jokes now and then._ "It's so great to finally meet THE Bella. Edward has been waiting for you for so long dear." She stared into my eyes as she spoke those last few words, and I could tell there was so much more behind them than what she was letting on.

Esme looked up at Edward and they exchanged a glance meant for just the two of them.

Esme looked behind me and seen Jasper. "And you must be Jasper." She enveloped him in a hug similar to mine. "Alice won't shut up about you, honey." Esme looked over at her youngest daughter and gave her a knowing smile.

"It's nice to meet you to, ma'am." Jasper's southern drawl came out when he was nervous. And now would be the time that I would assume he was shitting his pants, meeting his girlfriend's parents and all. And not just any girlfriend, from what Jazz told me; she was _'the one'._

Esme hugged Alice and I heard her saying something along the lines of _'quite the gentleman'_ to her, making the little Pixie blush at the compliment.

Esme made her way to Emmett and Rose last then escorted us all to the den. She said lunch wasn't ready yet and offered us her well stocked bar.

_She knew her kids well._

I just smiled at Edward as I seen the open bar. He made his way over and began making drinks for all of us, looking like a well-trained bartender. His father Carlisle made his presence a few moments later and I could tell where Edward got his good looks.

Carlisle was a kind man, hugged me tightly like Esme, and gave Jasper a firm handshake. He was also absolutely drop dead gorgeous with blonde hair, pale skin and looking too damn young to have children in their late 20's. _He was definitely a D.I.L.F._

"Kids, why don't you show Bella and Jasper a tour of the house? Lunch won't be ready for a few more minutes." Esme yelled from the kitchen. I offered her help several times, but she said that we were guests and to go and relax. I didn't want to offend her on our first meeting, so I did what she told me and found Edward.

Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett took off, probably to find some _'alone time'_ in their parents house, and we were left on our own to do a little exploring just the two of us. I laughed at the idea, as it didn't sound half bad. Edward grabbed my hand and led me up a large staircase.

"I want to show you my room." He said with a smile on his face. I could tell he had the same idea as me. _We were already on the same wavelength_.

Edward led us up to his room, which was on the third floor. When he opened the door, I was shocked at what I saw. It had the usual bed _(king size I might add_), desk and TV, but there was also a sofa and a baby grand piano in the corner. I went immediately to the piano and ran my fingers over the keys. Nothing was dusty in his room, it had obviously been maintained. Edward came to my side and sat down at the bench patting the seat next to him and I sat down.

"You play?" I asked with a huge grin on my face. Edward had never said anything about any musical talents and I was excited to find out what else was behind my man.

"I used to. I haven't in a long time." He said as he stroked the keys doing a few scales. "I used to do open mic nights at a bar in the city, but haven't gone in forever." He started to laugh, then stopped.

"Play something for me?" I gave him my sheep eyes I knew he couldn't resist hoping they worked for me again.

He stared at me for a moment before nodding in agreement. I watched as he took a deep breath then cracked his fingers as he let them sit on the keys.

Edward began playing, and to my surprise started singing. _Yeah, he sang to me here and there, but never like this, and I was utterly turned on and emotional for him to be sharing something like this for that was obviously very personal for him. _I just sat there as I listened to him mesmerized by what he was doing. He never took his eyes off me, no need to look at sheet music as he had it all memorized.

_I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

Edward knew the meaning behind that particular song and I had never heard it done on a piano but realized hearing the radio version would never be enough for me again. The song was practically written for us. I was overcome with such emotion that he would play it for me and let the few tears that were welling up in my eyes fall to my cheeks.

When the song came to a close, he looked back at the keys with his head bowed and took a deep breath. I grabbed his chin and pulled him in for a kiss letting our lips linger together as our foreheads touched. He wiped a tear away from my cheek with the pad of his thumb and I smiled, embarrassed for crying.

"Edward, that was absolutely beautiful." I said as I kissed him again. His arms wrapped around my waist and brought me in closer. "Please tell me why we don't have a piano."

"My music has always been private to me. And I guess I don't like to share it with too many people." He said as he stared into my eyes. "That's why I stopped with the open mic nights. I didn't have the ambition to share it with anyone anymore."

"But you shared it with me." I cupped his cheeks in my hands and he closed his eyes at the touch. "Thank you E." I kissed his lips once before pulling back to look at him.

"Anything for you, love." He kissed me again, and I didn't know if it was completely appropriate, seeing how we just had this really emotional moment and all, but I was utterly and completely turned on. "And I will think about getting a piano. It would probably be a good investment."

I nodded and kissed him again letting my lips part for him. He smiled into my mouth as he realized where my thoughts were. Or maybe he was already there. I reached my hand down and rubbed him through his pants.

He was already there. _**Long**__ time ago from the way he felt._

I got down on my knees in front of him and started to unbuckle his belt, my eyes never leaving his. His eyes bulged out of his head at the recognition of what I was going to do. I bit down on my lip as I unzipped his pants listening for the light moan that would come.

_Oh, and there it was._ The biting the lip thing worked every time.

Edward lifted his hips and I pushed his pants and boxers down to his knees and took his hardened cock in my mouth pumping him with my hand as I licked and sucked all I could. I let my tongue play with his piercing, all while he ran his hands through my hair and moved my head with the same strides I was making. Within minutes he came in my mouth, and I greedily sucked and swallowed all of him down until he went soft. After grunting a few elicits, he pulled his pants back up and fixed himself just in case anyone came in. He pulled me back up to a sitting position next to him on the bench running his hands up and down my sides.

"If that's what I get for playing, I will play for you every damn day and night, and we are so getting a piano." Edward said as he kissed down my collarbone and over the exposed skin of my chest. His hand moved south groping my chest and down my ribs, moving to my thighs pulling up my skirt.

Emmett came boring through the door not bothering to knock first, trailed by Jasper, Rose and Alice.

_Cock blocked once again. Thank you Cullen's._

This was becoming a regular thing for them! And all I wanted was a little release damn it! Is that so much to ask for_? Oh right, I had it only an hour ago, but I'm a girl and girls got needs!_

"Did I hear you're getting a piano Eddie?" Edward just rolled his eyes at his sister's awful nickname for him as she sauntered into the room. To this day, she is the only one who gets away with calling him that. _Not even when I am on my hands and knees giving him head am I allowed to call him that. Is that fair? I didn't think so!_

"Hey fuckers!" Emmett eyed me up again. "I thought I heard you playing in here." He pulled him and Rose down on the couch and sprawled themselves out smiling the entire time, knowing what he walked in on. Alice and Jasper took the floor and leaned back against the couch wrapped in each other's arms. "Play some more E?"

Edward smiled and nodded, unable to resist Emmett's pouty lip. "You always did love me playing for you Emm."

"It's just that I haven't heard it in so long. The piano used to be your first love, but now I can see that place has been taken." Emmett shot me a glance while I just flicked him off.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. "My first love hasn't been replaced, she's sitting here next to me." _Did I say how much I loved the man sitting beside me?_

A small moan escaped my lips at his words and what they meant. Of course it didn't go un-noticed.

"God Bella, don't have an orgasm over there. The bench is black you know." Leave it to Rose to spoil the moment.

_Too late on the orgasm part, I thought to myself._

Edward played for us for the next half hour until Esme and Carlisle came in and told us lunch was ready. You could see the pride on their faces watching Edward play. It amazed me that no one gave Edward any shit for being able to play the piano. It didn't seem like the typical thing a tattoo artist did. Surely, Emmett or Jasper would have some snide comment to say about him being a pansy or something, but they both just listened with admiration. I think it helped that he was playing a lot of our favorite songs.

I later found out from Esme that Edward had taken classical piano lessons since he was a little boy. _That explained a lot_. Emmett had also told me he stopped playing when he got into drugs and fighting, and only heard him play from time to time in the last couple of years.

I had to say that it amazed me that this tattooed and pierced man had such a soft side to him. I was starting to think that there wasn't anything that Edward couldn't do. _Let me think about this for a second, nope. This man could do __**everything**__._

We made our way down to the formal dining room hand in hand. Edward pulled out my chair for me, and then took the one next to me. Esme had everything out on the table, and it was definitely a Thanksgiving feast. Edward and I sat next to each other, with Jasper and Alice across the table from us. Rose was next to Edward, and Emmett was next to Jasper. Carlisle and Esme were at the head of the table.

We began dishing up as Carlisle and Esme asked questions to Jasper and I about our lives and what brought us to New York. No one mentioned anything about James, which I was internally grateful for. That isn't how I wanted to meet the potential in-laws. _'Yeah by the way, I was raped and beaten repeatedly in past relationships, and now your son is out for revenge, hope you don't mind.'_ Not the first impression that I wanted to give.

You could see the love and admiration that Carlisle and Esme had for their children. It didn't matter to them that each was tattooed and pierced across their bodies. They were proud of them for the lives they lead, knowing what kind of people they raised.

Alice, Emmett and Edward were three of the best people I had ever met. Hard working, loyal, great friends, and lovers, well the last one was just for Edward, but I'm sure it ran in the family. I mean look at the size of Emmett.

_There had to be more in there than meets the eye with that man._

After dinner was over, we all sat around the table drinking wine and getting to know one another a little more. Usually wine and this crowd was not a good combination, but what the hell, go with the flow, right? _Wrong, Swan._

"It was so good to hear you play again, son." Esme said looking over at Edward with a twinkle in her eye.

"Edward sure is good with his hands, isn't he Bella?" I had just taken a sip of wine and almost spit it out when Emmett spoke, the cocky grin across his face once again. Instead I swallowed down the rest of my glass and gave him a smile.

"Edward is _VERY_ good with his hands." Edward kicked me under the table and it brought me back to the present, with his parents sitting in the same room and I began blushing reaching for the bottle of wine realizing what I had just said. _Great first impression, anything else you feel the need to talk about, such as his major dick? Or how skilled his tongue is? I bet Esme would like to know that._

Carlisle and Esme just laughed and took it in stride.

I thought it was time for some payback to my dear old Emmett.

"By the was Emm, what is it that you read Cosmo for?" I asked as his jaw dropped. The fool had been cracking jokes about me for weeks and it was payback.

Everyone was snickering around us, and I was just waiting for his come back. _Don't disappoint me now big brother._

"I-I don't know what you're talking about Bella Barbie." He said glaring me in the eyes, silently telling me to _'can it'._

"Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about. Is it the make-up tips or the 'How to impress your man in bed' that gets your attention?" I took another swallow of my wine and felt my body start to tingle. It had to be my 6th or 7th glass, but who was counting.

_Obviously not me._

Rose broke out laughing, followed by Alice and Esme. Carlisle tried to keep a straight face, but that only lasted a minute before he busted a gut. Edward was rubbing my shoulder as to say _'that's my girl'_ and Jasper was shaking his head.

The rest of the evening went on with inside jokes and snide comments. Emmett for some reason liked to talk about my sex life and I wondered many times if he realized that it was his brother that was my reason for the smiles. _Or maybe that was why he was so interested_. Who knows, it is Emmett we are talking about here after all.

Esme brought out the baby books after supper, and the guys excused themselves ever so slyly so they wouldn't have to participate in the torture. As much as I loved looking at my little copper headed angel, I was silently thanking the skies above that this would never be something that I would have to go through.

That thought also made me realize the reason I would never go through this. No mom. No dad. Grandparents had been gone for a long time, and Charlie was an only child, just like me. Mama Whitlock was the only person I could have seen as a parental figure now, and she wouldn't do something like this to me.

_Well, who am I kidding, yes she would._

And I guess if Mama felt the need to bring out the baby books at Christmas, then I would let her, because secretly, I knew the torture would be worth it to see the smiles that she would have reminiscing our youth.

Sadly, there were no baby pictures of Edward. They were from age six and up. I realized I would never see a baby picture of him and would have to wait for our own children, _if that happened,_ to see what a baby version of him would look like.

The night wore on, and it was getting late. We said our goodbyes, and were told that we were all to be here for Christmas, no exceptions. _Where else would I go?_ This was my family now, and I couldn't think of not being with Edward for our first Christmas together.

Of course we would go see Mama, or she would come here, but spending Christmas with the Cullen's only felt natural. _Maybe we could invite Mama for Christmas and have everyone together.... good plan Bella; the wine must be inspiring tonight!_

The ride home blowjob never happened because apparently the wine flowed a little to freely for me, and I was passed out for much of the trip. I woke up when I felt Edward's arms wrap underneath me to carry my out of the jeep.

We said goodbyes to everyone when we made it home and I literally passed out, tired and drained from the day.

And I lost track of the wine I drank which put me into a restful slumber.

*********

Alice had decided that we needed to have some _'girl time'_ and demanded that Rose and I get up at the ass crack of dawn, well I don't even think it was dawn yet, and go shopping on Black Friday. I could have killed the little Pixie when she darted into our bed at 4am and pounced in between Edward and I.

_I was really regretting us all having keys to each other's apartments._

I really thought that Edward was going to murder the poor Pixie. After pulling me out of bed, unwillingly I might add, we were off for a fun filled day of shopping.

_Yeah right._

I wore a worn in pair of tennis shoes, knowing that we were going to battle the crowds in as many stores as humanly possible. My only request was Caribou and I was good to go. Oh Hell, who am I kidding, I was bitchy as all get out from my wine induced hangover and I hated crowds. The little old ladies moved around the stores like professional linebackers, looking to take anyone out in their way to get to the good deal.

Edward was not happy about me going out without him, but I reminded him that James was gone and he relaxed. A little. Besides, I was with Rose and who in their right minds would go up against Rose? _I seen the way that she handled situations and I have to admit she even scared the piss out of me a time or two_.

And then there was little Alice. I never really saw her as a threat that is until we were at the Prada store and she backhanded some lady that was going for the same bag as her. I swear I seen little horns sprout out of her black hair and she even growled. I myself was a bit scared of my friend and shot out of the way to escape her wrath.

And Rose, well Rose was Rose. And as soon as the doors opened at Target, yup we were there at 5am, something about being one of the first 100 that would get a _'special gift'_. Yeah special my ass. It was a tiny little snow globe that I threw in the nearest garbage. We were down the electronics isle looking at a new I-Pod that she wanted to get for Emmett when some guy _'accidentally'_ pushed himself into her chest. Rose grabbed the guy by the junk, hard, and told him to fuck off before pushing him into a display of toilet paper. I fell to my knees crying in laughter. Alice was beside me, and we kindly were asked by the 16-year-old assistant manager to vacate the store.

_I would never look at Target the same way again._

By the time we were back in Emmett's jeep, I was fucking tired. My feet were blistered; my back hurt from carrying bags, and my two lovely girlfriends had decided that we had had enough. It was a successful day overall. Rose and Alice said that they had their Christmas shopping almost done, and I the same.

Edward's gift wasn't going to come from a store this year. I seen the way that his eyes lit up when he seen the bikini's that Rose had brought back from one of her shoots and figured we could put them to good use. _And then he would put me to good use if I played my cards right._

We returned home and hauled all of our shit up to our apartments and crashed. There was no other way to put it. I fell asleep face down on my bed still fully clothed.

When I woke, it was dark. I was snuggled under the covers in one of Edwards t-shirts with him wrapped around me. He must have helped me because there was no way I was coherent enough to strip like that.

Wonder what else he did while I was out? _Hmm....whatever it was, must have been good._

*********

Edward and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session in the piercing room late the following Thursday night. Everyone was out in the shop and he had turned the radio up to drown us out. _They got used to our daily adventures in the back room and knew better than to listen in. Emmett told me I stared in his nightmares. I think that was a bad thing._

Emmett would not let me live this down if he actually heard me. Not that he didn't know what we were doing in here, but if he heard me, that would be another story. A few minutes ago he had banged on the door, but it was locked and Edward just told him to fuck off.

"B." Edward started, as he ran his hands down my sides and cupped my ass lifting me up and sitting me on the table. "I want to pierce you again." Edward was now pulling at my shirt and lifting it over my head. I was left with my bra and jeans on. He pulled my breast out of my bra and began sucking on one of my nipple rings.

_He could do anything to me as long as he kept this up._

"Anything you want E." He bit down on my nipple hard and I moaned in the pain that was so wanted. _Oh that was good._

"Anything?" He said looking at me with that cocky grin that I loved.

"Anything." I said smiling back at him.

"I want to pierce your clit." He continued to stare me in the eyes, waiting for my reaction.

"I said anything E." His eyes fell to my crotch as he groaned.

"B. You have no idea how bad I want to fuck you right now. Knowing that you're going to let me pierce your clit makes me fucking crazy!" He kissed down my stomach and over my jean covered center. I moaned again only making him more turned on. He was already standing at attention and he had only seen a boob.

I internally laughed at that thought. _Only a boob, buddy. What are you gonna do when you see my friend?_

Edward whipped my jeans off quickly so I was lying on the table in only my bra. I knew this was going to hurt, but the result was so worth it. I had heard stories from Alice about how pleasurable the piercing could be, and how much it would turn guys on_. In my case only turning on one guy is all I needed._

I had expected Edward to prep me for the piercing, but instead he pulled me to the edge of the table so I had my legs dangling off and knelt down in front of me.

_Oh goodie! It was play time first!_

He began placing kisses on my inner thighs moving towards where I wanted him most. Edward then brought his head directly over my center and brought his tongue out licking up my wet folds with his barbell.

_Who was I to deny him this? Especially when it felt so good._ The thought of our family and friends on the other side of the door turned me on to no end knowing that we could get caught at any second.

Edward continued to lick, moving his way up to my clit sucking and biting down. I moaned in pleasure bucking my hips into his mouth pulling him to me with my hands tangled into his hair.

He added two fingers, plunging into my wet core. I let out a loud moan not able to help myself. Edward's hand shot up and covered my mouth as he laughed, sending vibrations against my clit. _'Sorry'_ I mouthed. He just sucked harder on my clit really appearing to enjoy himself. I bit down on his hand and enjoyed the pleasure he was giving me.

I came hard in his mouth, unable to stop the moans he was eliciting from me. He continued to sweep his tongue across me as I rode out my orgasm. When he was done, he got up and cleaned himself off while I layback on the table squirming around from my high.

"That was fucking awesome baby." I moaned, unable to get anything better out. _I was an incoherent mess like always._

Edward just shook his head and smiled while pulling on some gloves. "As much as I love to listen to you moan, Emm is so gonna give you shit when we go out there and you know it."

"It was so worth it, I don't even think I can be embarrassed right now." I meant it. His tongue should be given an award for _'best orgasm of the year'_ or some shit like that.

Edward shook his head at me once more and went to work prepping my crotch. I sat with my legs in stur-ups making me feel like I was at the Gyno. Edward stared at my bare pussy before him, continuing to lick his lips, turning me on again. He decided on a gold ring with a diamond on it and I nodded in agreement. _I figured he would be the one to look at it, might as well pick it out._

When he finally pierced me, it fucking hurt like hell. _Hurt like nothing I could have imagined_. But the look of lust in his eyes made it all worthwhile. I could tell how hard it was for him to be touching me like he was with gloves on. But it wouldn't have been too sanitary otherwise, and Edward I'm sure wanted this to heal as fast as possible so he could utilize his new toy.

As soon as he was cleaned up, I found myself on my knees in front of him ignoring the pain and wanting to bring some comfort to my man. His hard cock was pressed so tight against the fabric of his jeans that I thought he was going to bust through and have a secret date with my pussy.

I unzipped his jeans while he stared down at me holding my hair out of the way. The last thing I wanted was my hair to be stuck in his zipper. Nothing like trying to give good head while getting your hair pulled out. Hair pulled I was fine with, I like the kinky shit, but getting it pulled out was not so cool.

_Been there, done that._

I took him in my mouth and circled around his piercing with my tongue as I listened to him moan. His fingers tightened in my hair, bringing my head harder down on his cock.

"Fuck! Bella! Ungh!" He moaned and it only caused me to speed up my strokes bringing him over the edge within only a few minutes. I looked up at him with a questioning look.

_My man had stamina. This was not normal, nor did I want it to be normal._

"A little too excited baby?" I asked as I took one more lick as he went limp and grabbed to pull his boxers back up. His cheeks turned red. He was blushing.

_Score one for Bella!_

"Damn it B!" He said buckling his belt. I went to grab the rest of my clothes, putting my jeans on ever so gently. "After having my hands and mouth all over you, listening to you moan, and then piercing your clit, I was a bit turned on. I promise this is not the new norm. I swear."

I laughed and hit him in the chest. He cleaned up the rest of the room and we made our way out to face the rest of the guys. Now I was regretting all the moaning, _but just a little_. It had been quiet for a while, but then again with the radio so loud and me being in another world I wouldn't have heard anything anyways.

We walked out to find Emmett and Rose sitting at his station, Rose in Emmett's lap, looking like she had been crying. I went over and grabbed her hand trying to comfort her.

"Rose honey, what's wrong?" I asked trying to console her. I knelt in front of her keeping her hand in mine while my other went to my crotch and rubbed the sensitive flesh. _I know she was crying and all, but damn that shit hurt._

Emmett and Edward stared at me with their mouths hanging open like the pigs they were, and I shook them off more concerned about why Rose looked the way she did.

She just shook her head at me and looked at Emmett for him to talk. Something had happened and she couldn't get the words out which meant it was really bad.

"Emm. What's wrong? Something happened. What happened?" I was getting nervous. Jasper wasn't here and Rose and Emmett were too quiet.

Edward came up from behind me, helping me up and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to his side.

Rose got up from Emmett's lap and Emmett stood in front of me and grabbed my hands.

"Sweetie. I think you need to sit down. There's something we need to tell you." I felt the tears swell up in my eyes unsure of what the fuck was wrong.

"I don't want to sit down!" I yelled. "Fucking tell me what's going on Emm!"

Edward tightened his arm around me bracing himself if I should need him. I stared at Emmett as he tried not to make eye contact with me. When he did look at me, his eyes were blood shot.

"Where's Jasper?" I whispered, to scared from his reaction to yell. I felt myself lean into Edward who tightened his hold even more.

Something was wrong.

Something was very wrong, and no one wanted to tell me afraid of my reaction?

I felt myself fall into Edward thinking about the possibilities of what had happened and why Jasper wasn't here to tell me what was going on.

Edward held me while we waited for Emmett to speak. Rose let out a sniffle and from the corner of my eye I could see that her eyes were blood shot as well.

Something was very wrong, and my head started to spin thinking every worse case scenario about my best friend.

**A/N: Little bit of a cliffy for you. Haven't done to many of those yet, so here is your first taste. **

**I'll tell ya what, you push the review button, and I will send you a teaser for the next chapter. Lets see how many people are interested in a little extra somethin' somethin'. **

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**Reviews are like almost getting fingered on Edward's piano bench. Damn you Emmett!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: WOW. Can I just say that I love my reviewers! Holy Hell, the last chapter received double the reviews than any of my previous one's. THANK YOU!!! It seriously made my day to know that so many people came out of hiding and stopped by to say hi.**

**I won't write anymore up here, because I know exactly what you are waiting to do…. find out how Jasper is, so if you've read this far I would be amazed.**

**More at the bottom.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: SM is awesome, and owns all things Twilight. I own the snow on my front lawn that fell last night…. ungh!**

Chapter 17: It's So Hard To Say Goodbye

BPOV

"Where's Jasper?" I whispered again feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of me, uncertain what was being kept from me.

No one was answering me; Edward was holding my body upright as my knees gave out, giving Emmett a death glare looking for answers.

My mind felt foggy as I waited for someone to say something.

_Anything_.

Emmett was still holding my hands in his, gripping them tighter, probably because he seen me go pale in anticipation of what he was about to say.

"Jasper's fine honey." Emmett said the three words I had been silently praying for. I let out a deep sigh of relief so thankful that he was ok, but thought to myself that if Jasper was fine, then what else could possibly have happened for both Emmett and Rose to be so torn up?

"If Jasper's fine, then what the fuck is going on? Why are you both crying?" I heard myself shouting but it sounded muffled as the unknown scared me shitless.

"Bella, it's…" Emmett's scratchy voice was cut off as he looked away.

I heard the front door chime, and Jasper walked in trailed by Alice. Both their eyes were just as blood shot as Emmett and Rose. _Oh thank God he's all right. I have no clue what I would do without Jasper in my life. _ I wanted to run to him, leap into his arms and hold him knowing that he was fine, but my feet weren't listening to the rest of my body and I stood there frozen.

I stood there unable to move, looking at my best friend in the entire world as he wiped his eyes. I wanted to call out to him, say something, but my entire body was paralyzed with fear of why he looked so distraught.

Jasper stopped in front of me, staring in my eyes, looking for something. I didn't know what he was looking for, or what I could give him, but he needed me, and I was trying to make my body cooperate so that I could be there for him.

I felt hot tears fall down my cheeks, looking in my best friends eyes that looked so empty, so lost. Emmett released my hands and stepped back while Jasper reached out for me as he stepped closer.

I willingly fell into his chest reveling in the warmth his form had always provided me. He hugged me tight for a moment before pushing me back, holding me at arms length staring at me again.

"Jasper? What the fuck is going on? I'm not going to ask again." It came out harsher than I intended but was desperate for some damn answers already.

Edward was standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders rubbing up and down my arms trying to comfort me. From the look on his face, he knew nothing and was just as anxious as I was.

A tear fell down Jasper's cheek and I quickly wiped my fingers across his face to catch it.

Jasper was crying.

_Jasper never cried._

"Bell. It's Mama." He squeaked. I sunk back into Edward, bracing myself for what he was about to say. "Mama...she...she had an accident... and...." Jasper's face fell as he took a deep breath trying to steady himself. _No! She was the last bit of family that I had, the only family Jasper knew_. "She didn't make it Bells." His tears came freely now as he grabbed my hands tighter needing me to comfort him as much as I needed him.

I felt myself fall into Edward's chest as he held my limp body up. He wrapped his arms around my waist to comfort me, as I stood there paralyzed in shock. I looked at the grief stricken Jasper who had just lost his mom.

His Mama.

My Mama.

_This wasn't happening. It couldn't be._

I refused to think that anything bad could ever happen to her.

"No! We just saw her a few weeks ago. She was fine." Jasper tightened his grip on my hands as I yelled and I tried pushing him away. This only made him hold me to him harder, which underneath it all, I needed. "She was fine Jazz! She was fine!" My face was hot with tears, as I didn't try to hold them back any longer.

The thought of Mama no longer being with us, here on this earth was something I didn't even want to try and fathom. We had just seen her last week. She bullshitted with us like old times, and we cooked together, and she met Edward and Alice, and....this just couldn't be happening!

"She was driving to the grocery store after her shift at the hospital and was hit head dead on by a drunk driver just a few hours ago." Jasper grasped my hands harder trying to get my attention back to his face. "_In fucking daylight_, she was hit in fucking daylight by a drunk driver!" Jasper's voice shook as he told me what happened to Mama. "She was pronounced dead at the scene. I just got the call." Jasper's shoulders fell as he shook with tortured cries; he looked as if he was going to collapse.

I pushed myself into his chest and clung to him as he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. I heard Alice and Rose in the background sniffling but tried to put all my concentration on my best friend who was mourning the loss of his Mama.

In the little time they had known Mama Whitlock, Rose and Alice grew to love her, because that was just the kind of person she was. She was loving and kind, considerate and put everyone else's needs over her own.

_She was the only mother I ever knew. And now, she was gone._

Edward and Emmett comforted Alice and Rose while Jasper and I held each other, knowing that we were the only one's for one another that could be the comfort that was needed.

"I'm so sorry Jasper." I clung to him harder as he rubbed my back. "I'm sorry sweetie. Your Mama was the best and she loved you so much. She was the best Jazz." I cried into his chest harder thinking about how much I loved her, how much Jazz loved his Mama.

"She was your Mama too, Bell." His voice cracked again as he kissed my forehead. "She always thought of you like a daughter. It was always the three of us. _Our family_." He stopped, trying to control his voice. "And now she's gone. My Mama, she's gone."

If it was possible, the tears came even harder with the realization of her being gone.

Mama was gone.

_My_ Mama was gone.

My family, the only family I had left was gone.

It was just Jasper and I now.

"She was _my_ Mama. I always thought of her that way. I loved her so much, Jazz." I whispered still clinging to him for dear life.

"It's just you and me now, Bell. I always thought it was. Now we're all that's left of our family." Jasper's voice gave out as he finished speaking, letting his forehead fall to my shoulder.

Jasper and I held each other as we slid to the floor, to our knees still holding one another as if we'd suffocate without the other. We both had to come to terms with Mama and the family that was now gone.

"Your family's here, in this room." Alice spoke up in a weak voice. She bent down, and wrapped her arms around both of us as she spoke. "We're your family too. And we aren't going anywhere."

"Alice is right. We're your family too. We love you both so much." Rose wrapped her arms around our huddle, followed by Emmett and Edward.

We sat there like that for a long while, mourning for Mama Whitlock. No words needed to be spoken. It was better to just let things be the way they were.

_We needed time to let it set in that she was really gone._

Jasper and I walked home together while the rest of the guys closed up shop. We lay in his bed together for the rest of the night, holding one another as we both broke down over and over. _Kleenex box after Kleenex box was thrown to the floor, and I secretly wondered if we should by stock in the company._

Alice and Edward didn't bother us at all, knowing that we needed this time together, just the two of us. And although they didn't come in Jasper's bedroom, there was always shadows walking across the closed door, and I assumed that the two of them had taken up their positions on the other side.

We held each other, letting one another cry into the other when they needed too. We told stories of our child hood and cried some more.

Mama Whitlock was the best, and I would remember all the great things about her. The smell of biscuits and gravy in the morning, the way her southern drawl came out when she was drunk, much like Jasper, and the way she took me in when I had no family to call my own. I would remember how she let us go after high school with no questions asked, because she knew that it was what was best for us. I knew how much it killed her to see us go, but she did it, not a selfish bone in her body, because it was the best decision for her children.

I can still remember the _'talk'_ she gave me when I was getting boobs and my period. Charlie was too uncomfortable talking about that shit and shipped me off to the Whitlock's whenever I had questions. Mama said that we would learn together what all this _'girly shit'_ was and never made me feel embarrassed about it_. I laugh now, thinking of what a service she did for Charlie during that time in my life._

Jasper laughed about the way he would 'get it' for stupid shit he did back in the day, being chased around the house with Mama running behind him with a belt. But in all honesty, for the little shit he was he probably deserved it every time. Mama would never have intentionally hurt him. She loved him too much.

We laughed at the memories, good and bad, letting ourselves fall into peace with where Mama now was.

Eventually we were all cried out and fell asleep. Jasper and I had slept together so many nights, that it was just comforting to be back in his arms. There were no romantic feelings, those were for the two people on the other side of the door, but we were family, family that was always there for one another, especially in the most tragic of situations.

Alice had arranged a flight home for us so we could work on funeral arrangements and get the house ready to sell. Apparently Mama had put both Jasper and I in her Will, and I would be able to help him with the difficult decisions of closing out her affairs. I knew Jasper and I would need to make these decisions together, it would be too hard alone.

Alice and Rose were amazing. While were sleeping, they packed our suitcases and had everything ready to go when we got up. I gave them each a hug for all that they did before we left, thanking them both for making this process just a little easier on us.

The next morning we were on a flight back to Texas. Jasper and I went by ourselves knowing that this was a time that it needed to just be the two of us. Everyone understood that we needed this time together and would be joining us in a few days for the funeral.

I can't even say how amazing Edward was with letting me go. He knew I would be safe with Jasper, and also that I needed this time alone with my brother to take care of the arrangements. When he and Alice dropped us off at the airport, you could tell they didn't want to let us go alone, but did so knowing that it was just something that we needed to do.

_Just the two of us._

I knew it was going to be a rough few days, and without Edward at my side, it was only going to get harder, but I knew what needed to be done. As I kissed him goodbye, I took a deep look at his face, trying to burn it in my memory so that it was there for when I needed him.

Everything became real when our rental car pulled up to the white Victoria that we called home for so long. Even though I didn't move in until I was 16 I had spent my whole childhood at that house growing up, it was home. We sat in the car and wept some more, both of us thinking back to the memories that house held. When we were all cried out we made our way inside as Jasper took the key from under the mat and opened the door. The memories of Mama were brought back immediately and we sat in the entryway with the door wide open crying again, holding each other until we were ready to continue on.

The next few days were some of the most difficult I had ever had to face. We met with the director and arranged the funeral, the flowers, the burial sight, the head stone and the food for afterwards. _All to celebrate the life of Mama._

We met with the lawyer and signed off on the will and closed out Mama's personal affairs, and I watched as Jasper dealt with the fact that he was indeed closing out his Mama's life.

The house was left in both of our names and would be going on the market by the end of the week. We thought about keeping the house and having it to come back to, but realized that closing out this chapter in our lives made the most sense.

There was nothing left in Texas for us, and it just seemed like the most productive idea for us to move forward with our own lives.

Jasper and I worked night and day on getting the house cleaned up and ready for sale. Mama was a simple countrywoman, and didn't have a whole lot for possessions, so cleaning out and packing up her house wasn't such a chore. _Jasper wanted to get it all done and over with saying it was like a band-aid, rip it off and get it over with._

He wanted to be in and out of Texas in as little amount of time as possible, saying that it would be easier for us both to move on and get back home to Alice and Edward. I knew that he was right. We would still be together in the city, which was home now. _And we had our make shift family that was waiting for us._

Cleaning out my old room was emotional. I found myself on the floor several times crying over the thoughts of my youth and growing up. Each time Jasper joined me and we mourned together. The same routine followed when we went through his room, and from there on, we decided to go through every room together.

I know it sounds lame, but I took pictures of each and every room of the house so that we would always have it in our memories. I wanted to be able to show our future families something, anything of our pasts because at this point there wasn't much to show of my 26 years.

With each of our moves, I took less and less of my past with me, wanting to forget about James and Jake, and in return, left some of my most prized memento's to get lost in the shuffle.

We decided to take most of Mama's things to the Good Will and donate them. She would have wanted it that way, knowing that someone else could get use out of her possessions. We packed up a few boxes of mementos we wanted to keep and shipped them back to New York where Edward was waiting for them.

We had now been here for four days and I was home sick for Edward. We had talked several times a day, but it wasn't enough. I was so dependant on him and needed him with every bone in my body in the worst possible way. He was my support system, along with Jasper.

_He was my life._

Jasper spent a lot of his free time on the phone with Alice and slowly his smile that I knew and loved started to show itself again. I was glad that he found her, just as I found Edward. We had been each other's lives for so long that love was looking like it just wasn't in the cards for the two of us. To watch Jasper and Alice together made me feel like the proud sister I was to him. They belonged together just as Edward and I did. And I had no doubt in my mind, that we would stay close.

_Kind of hard not to, being that Edward and Alice were siblings._

Today Edward, Alice, Rose and Emmett were flying in. I paced all morning thinking of seeing my Angel again and wanted nothing more than to be in his arms. I wanted to feel him, taking in his scent, and be enveloped in the love and comfort only he could provide.

The funeral didn't start until 7pm, so after they got in, we would have a few hours to get ready and kick back. I wanted nothing more than to spend a little alone time with Edward before the funeral so that he could help me prepare myself for the long night ahead.

Their flight landed at 1pm, I had been awake since 5am, waiting, anticipating the arrival of everyone. Well, mostly Edward, but I really did miss the entire gang as well.

As we waited in the airport, I grew more anxious, picking out every bronze haired guy that walked through the terminal thinking it was my Edward. I was pacing, along with Jasper, chewing my nails, and running my hands through my hair.

_I guess I kinda picked that habit up from Edward._

Alice was Jasper's Edward, as funny as that sounds it was true. The little pixie could calm him down in a heartbeat. And even though Jasper and I had a solid bond, I wasn't Alice, nor did I need to be. I had my place in his life as his best friend. Alice was his queen and he put her right where she belonged.

I watched for their flight, making sure that it was still on time. It was. At 1:05 pm, after looking at my watch for the hundredth time, my Angel came through the gait.

His hair was disheveled as usual, and I couldn't help but stare his body up and down, taking in his worn in blue jeans that hung low on his waist, and his gray t-shirt that was tight on his muscular arms. His eyes had bags under them, and he looked like he hadn't slept well if at all. I knew how he felt. _I was so used to sleeping with him night after night, that I hadn't really slept since we left home_.

While I was completing my ogling of his body, his eyes met mine. His piercing green orbs bored into my eyes and a huge grin played along his lips. I couldn't help but smile back. Tears fell from my eyes with out permission needing to feel him, like I the air I breathed.

I ran to Edward as he dropped his carryon, opening his arms for me to jump into. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he enveloped me into the warmest hug I had ever had. I vaguely remember seeing Alice and Jasper embrace the same way and Emmett and Rose walk past us giving me a pat on the shoulder and going over to claim everyone's bags.

Edward held me tight to his chest, rubbing my back as he moaned at our contact. "I missed you so much E. So fucking much." I said as I peppered his neck and chest in kisses before reaching his lips.

_Ungh....those lips. I missed those lips._

He kissed me back then held me to his chest for a moment as we took each other in. I looked up to see he had tears in his eyes, much like my own. "I missed you too, baby. You can't leave me like that again. _Ever_. I understand why you had to go, but next time I'm going with you. I know I sound like a fucking pansy right now, but I need you too damn much and I felt empty without you." He stared deeply into my eyes.

"I know how you feel." I rubbed my fingers over the bags under his eyes. "You look just like I feel. Next time you're going with me." I said as I kissed him again, letting my lips linger on his.

I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him long and hard wanting him to feel just what he did to me. "I love you, so fucking much B." He said returning the kiss, deepening it as his tongue found entrance in my waiting mouth. I pulled back after a few seconds, realizing we were still in the airport and wouldn't be able to do anything here with so many people around.

"I love you too, my Angel. So much." I tightened my hold around his neck letting my body get reacquainted with his.

He finally brought me back to my feet again and we joined the group. I hugged Alice, Rose and Emmett as we caught up with each other for a few minutes waiting for the last of the bags.

Edward's arm stayed in place the entire time we waited needing the contact between us as much as I did. His hand rubbed up and down my side and I wanted nothing more to just feel him, but this was not the place or the time. And there was the piercing to take into consideration as well, but at this point, I was fine with a little pain, if it mean feeling Edward again. _It had been far to long._

We got everyone's luggage and made our way to the Jeep we had rented and squished everyone in.

I sat on Edward's lap so there was enough room as it wasn't nearly as big as Emmett's. I felt myself clinging to him for dear life never wanting to let him go again. He didn't seem to mind, holding me to him just as tight.

Edward continued to pepper me with kisses along my cheek and neck and down my collarbone. I know that Emmett and Rose were about to vomit with the PDA, but we couldn't help ourselves, it had been too long apart. Alice and Jasper were similar to us; only Jasper was trying to control himself so he didn't drive us into the ditch.

I was just thankful it wasn't Edward driving. I don't think I would have had the restraint to not touch him.

"I'm fucking starving Bella Barbie. We need to eat." Emmett said with a grin as he rubbed his stomach.

"Always thinking of your stomach Emm." I said as I laughed at him and shook my head.

"I'm hungry too." Alice said from the front seat looking back at the four of us.

It was decided that we were all hungry and I knew the perfect place to stop. _'The Dandy'_. They used to have the best bar burgers and I had been craving one since we returned a few days ago.

We made our way in the small bar and found a table, placed our orders and got a round of drinks. The guys caught us up on what we had missed in New York, which hadn't been much. Business was steady, lots of regulars and a few tramp stamps that Edward bitched about. He still hated doing them, and I laughed every time he shared the newest story. The store was closed for the weekend while we all attended the funeral.

We were now on our second round of drinks when I spotted a familiar face from the other side of the bar. His dirty blonde hair and dimples I would recognize anywhere. I cringed at the sight I was taking in.

"Jazz. Do you see who's at the bar?" I asked, leaning in towards him not wanting to make a scene. My body tingled thinking of my past because of course we would have to run into him here, today of all days. _Just my damn luck!_

Jasper looked around, as did the rest of the guys trying to figure out whom I was talking about. I knew the moment that Jasper spotted him. His eyes bugged out of his head, and he whispered _'mother fucker'_ under his breath.

"What's Mike doing here?" I asked feeling a huge knot in my throat forming.

Jasper got up from the table. "I don't know, but I'm going to go and find out." He was pissed and this was not the time for him to be dealing with this shit.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "No Jazz. Let it be. He doesn't even know we're here. Let it go." I said staring into his eyes waiting for him to calm down.

He nodded in agreement and loosened his stance as he sat back down. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and leaned into my side.

"B. What's going on? Who's Mike?" He asked with an angered glare. Another guy he didn't need to know about, but since we weren't keeping secrets anymore on this shit, I guess it was bound to come out.

"Mike, is/was James's best friend. I haven't seen him in years." I said looking down at my drink. Everyone was now staring at me and waiting for answers. _I didn't even know that Mike was still around here._

Jasper seen how uncomfortable I was, and cut in. "Mike isn't a good guy. He's a piece of shit just like James. He knew what James was doing to Bella, and never said a damn word; just let that fucker do with her what he wanted too. He would just stand by and watch." Jasper cringed as he took a long pull from his beer.

He began to tense again thinking about the things I had told him. And even he didn't know everything.

There were things I didn't tell anyone.

_Not even in my book._

Edward tightened his grip on me and kissed my cheek, staring Mike down who still didn't seem to notice us. It was pretty hard not too in a small town like this where everyone knows each other, but then again he did smoke pot all those years and probably had no brain cells left.

_Stupid fucker!_

Our food came and we ate in silence. We worked our way through round 3 and 4 of drinks and talked about Christmas, which would be at the Cullen's. Alice was going into detail about what we were going to wear and was trying to stage a shopping trip, but I wasn't even recovered from the last one she dragged me on, and _so_ was not ready for the next one.

Emmett was trying to give me shit about my sex life once again when I felt Edward tense up and put his arm over my shoulder pulling me into his side.

"Well if it isn't Isabella Swan." I heard Mike's menacing voice before looking up. He was laughing, the fucking asshat. "Oh, and Jasper Whitlock. Well I'll be damned boy! You finally filled out a little!" He was drunk too. Great.

"Fuck off Mike." Jasper said as he took a drink of his beer not making eye contact with him.

Mike put his hands up in the air and retreated a step back. "Whoa! Calm down Whitlock. What's got your panties in a bunch? Can't I come over and visit with my friends who I haven't seen in fucking ever?" He glared at me, looking my body up and down like I was a piece of meat.

I felt Edward tense behind me and let out a low growl. God that made me wet between the legs. "My my, Isabella. You sure have grown up nicely, haven't you?"

"I believe my friend told you to fuck off, bro. So, fuck off and get lost." Edward said from beside me as he motioned with his hands for Mike to be on his way. Emmett began laughing and Rose did a little hmf.

Mike and Edward stared one another down, and I waited for the fight to start. I again felt like I did with James. Defensive of my friends and Edward, not wanting anyone to get hurt, especially right before the funeral. But I reminded myself that I wasn't the little 17 year old he remembered. And Edward could hold his own.

_That much was apparent._

"What do you want Mike? We were never friends, nor will we ever be. So go." I said shooing him with my hands.

Mike took a step closer. "Oh Isabella. Come on. I remember we were friends. Good friends." He said staring at me provocatively_. I was about to loose my supper, and damn-it, I was looking forward to my bar burger!_

Jasper stood in front of me blocking Mike. "Leave Mike. I don't have any patience for you right now, so back the fuck off."

Mike laughed again. He thought this was funny. "Oh Whitlock, you're just mad that you didn't get in on the action." He smirked at me as I vomited in my mouth. "From the looks of it, you still aren't getting in on the action. That's too bad. That one there's a fire pistol."

Edward had enough and slammed his fists down on the table. He pushed away from his seat, sliding the chair backwards. Emmett grabbed my hand and pulled me back behind him as Edward stepped forward and got in Mike's face. He pushed him in the chest causing Mike to take a step back but not fall. He was still a burley fucker.

"I believe my friends asked you to fuck off and leave, but if you don't want to listen to them, I can make you." The cocky grin that I loved so much came out to play and I wasn't scared for my boys, _I was scared for Mike_.

And I was more than a little turned on watching Edward and his shit-eating grin as he was so hot and sexy when he turned into Fightward.

_I was feeling like his personal cheerleader and was ready to yell, 'Go team go!'_

There weren't very many people in the bar, and the bartender turned his back to us and the fight that was quickly getting out of hand.

"I would assume you're with Isabella now? Is that right shithead?" Mike glared at Edward and continued on with that smile that would soon be knocked off his face. "I bet she's good in bed. No wait. From what I've seen she is good in bed. Fucking hot little thing."

I felt my stomach churn. I looked down at my beer bottle so that I didn't have to face my friends and Edward. This is not what I wanted them to hear right now. Emmett made his way towards Mike. He grabbed him by the arm and pressed firmly, taking his hand and twisting it backwards. Emmett got up real close and smiled as Mike cried out in pain.

"Watch your mouth son. You don't know whom you're talking about. And from the looks of it, you're a little outnumbered, so I would back. The. Fuck. Off. NOW!" Emmett let go of his wrist and Mike fell to the floor.

I watched as Edward threw a large bill on the table for our tab and grabbed my hand and led us towards the exit. Emmett grabbed Rose and Jasper grabbed Alice and we made our way out of the bar as Mike lay on the floor in pain.

As soon as we got in the jeep, everyone went quiet and I knew the questions were coming. Edward held me in his lap, with his arms wrapped around me and kissed my shoulder.

"I wouldn't normally ask this in front of everyone, but they're going to find out anyways seeing that these 4 are fucking gossips. What the fuck was he talking about B?" Edward whispered the next part in my ear. "I thought you said there was only three?"

I took a deep breath before looking around. Everyone's eyes were on me, except for Jasper who was driving. I guess they needed to know now before this got even more out of hand.

"Mike was there sometimes when James.... and I...ugh! This is so embarrassing." I cradled my head in my hands. My face was hot, and I knew it was beat red.

I looked to Edward who nodded for me to continue, anxious to know where I was going with this.

"If I pulled away, or didn't do what James wanted.... he would.... make me pay. He would invite Mike over to watch...us.... and..... join in." I closed my eyes not wanting to see everyone's stares. Edward rubbed my back comforting while he took in what I was saying.

The jeep came to a sudden stop and I flew forward into the seat in front of me.

"What the hell are you talking about Bell?" Jasper didn't know about this.

_Fuck_.

"He never made me have sex with Mike.... but I...he.... made me give Mike head...while he fucked me." There I said it, and it was out there and I really felt the need to get out and empty my stomach.

Jasper hit the steering wheel as Alice grabbed his arm to calm him down. "Fucking Hell Bell. Is there anything else you haven't told me? Cause I don't know how much more I can fucking handle finding out!"

"Its ok, love." Edward whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck. "I don't think any different of you. It wasn't your choice. J, you got to calm down bro." Edward was glaring at Jasper.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you Jazz. But did you really want to know? Did you really want to know what other fucked up shit was going on when I was gone every weekend? Did you want to know that any time I tried to say no or try to defend myself I was punished even more?" I was crying now as was Rose and Alice. Emmett just sat there clenching his fists.

"Christ Bell." Jasper hit his head against the seat before pulling the jeep back on the road. "I should go back there and beat the shit out of the little fucker."

"That makes two of us." I heard Edward mumble.

"Three of us." I looked up to see Emmett's hard glare. "What?"

I shook my head and looked back down, trying to get the painful memories to leave my mind.

"It's over and done with. Can we not go there? I think we have enough going on for this week already, don't you all agree?"

Everyone nodded and we made our way back to the house in silence. Everyone let what I just told them go, knowing that it was too hard for me to talk about. It was in the past, and I intended on keeping it there.

When we reached the house, the girls went to un-pack upstairs while they guys were in the kitchen drinking. Well that's what we thought what they were doing, until I heard car doors close and the Jeep pull away.

I ran outside to stop them, but they were already gone. None of them answered their phones and we sat outside on the swing and waited. They were coming home to three _very_ pissed off girlfriends.

*******

The guys returned home two hours later. Alice, Rose and I had taken the time to be productive and were dressed and ready to go. We were fuming and needed something to keep our hands busy.

As they walked up the porch, Rose went to hit Emmett hard in the chest as he held it in pain.

_Baby_.

Alice smacked Jasper upside the head and I just sat there glaring at Edward. That would affect him more than a beating of any kind. He sat down next to me with a cocky grin on his face while he tried to wrap his arm around my shoulders.

_Not getting away with this shit that easy, buddy._

I noticed right away that his knuckles were bloody again, as were Emmett and Jasper's. I glared at him, forcing him to look at me.

"What?" He said with a smirk. God why did he have to be so damn sexy, I'm trying to be mad at him here! "We decided to go back out for another drink."

He tried to wrap his arm around me again, _which I threw off._

"Right. A drink." I said rolling my eyes as I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my foot.

"Yeah, I didn't get to finish my beer, so we went back." Emmett said with a smile. Rose hit him again making me laugh at his pain.

"And was Mike still there?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. But I don't think he is anymore." Jasper said trying to not laugh.

"Probably had to go home and change his pants." Edward said from beside me. He was stifling a laugh, shaking trying to hold it in.

"And shoes." Emmett added with a beat red face.

The three guys burst out laughing as Alice, Rose and I stood there glaring at them, waiting for answers.

"Someone want to let us in on the joke?" Rose asked with a pointed stare, silently telling Emmett that he better spill or there was no sex for week.

Emmett was practically on the ground rolling. Edward was shaking beside me and Jasper was leaning against a post to hold him up.

"Anyone want to tell us why Mike would need to change his pants?" I asked getting more pissed by the minute.

"Because he shit himself after we beat the fuck out of him." Emmett was now crying he was laughing so hard.

I hit Edward hard in the stomach. "What? It was fucking hilarious B. You would have thought so to if you were there."

_I tried to be mad. I tried, but it didn't work._

I couldn't help but laugh with the guys, cause really that's too fucking funny not to laugh at. Alice and Rose followed as the boys recapped the fight. Well it really wasn't much of a fight. 3 against one. But again like it was with James, I wasn't mad, or scared.

_Mike finally got what was coming to him._

After we finished laughing, and everyone's sides were hurting, we got dressed quickly as it was close to 6pm and the funeral was going to start soon.

Alice had brought me a black sleeveless dress with a square neckline, beading under the bust line and ended at the knees. I wore a pair of black heals and nylons. Rose and Alice wore similar dresses and the guys wore suits.

_If it weren't for a funeral, it would have been a perfect photo opp. with us all dressed to the nine._

After several cigarettes, we made our way to the funeral home and started with the closure of Mama.

As much as I wanted to be angry with the guys for the little stunt they pulled, they were able take everyone's minds off the reason we were really here for a few hours.

_How could I be mad at that?_

The next few hours were hell, but Jasper and I stayed together, along with Edward and Alice at our sides. I held hands with Jasper as Edward kept his arm around my waist or back, letting me know he was there for me. We greeted and thanked her friends and co-workers for coming and listened as they said their good byes.

The hardest part of the night was when Jasper gave the eulogy.

He took a deep breath before beginning, and then looked at Alice and me for support. "My Mama, she was the best. She was a simple woman that liked simple things. When my dad left, I was only a little guy, and Mama raised me on her own and it was just the two of us. She gave me every experience that she could with the little she had. She worked extra shifts at the hospital and never once complained, as long as I was happy. Mama would sit and talk with me for hours, about anything. And she would play games, and just shoot the shit." Everyone laughed at his innuendo.

"But my Mama, she never had an easy life. She never had much luck with guys until she met Charlie." Jasper looked at me, knowing more than I obviously did. "When he was killed, she was devastated. She finally found a man that would treat her well, and he was killed. But then my sister for all intended purposes was finally able to come and live with us, and our family was complete. I had never seen my Mama smile so much as she did after Bell came. She always wanted a daughter, and she had one." Jasper's eyes were blood shot as he gave me another glance. " She loved you Bell. She got the daughter she always wanted." I gave him a smile in return silently telling him to continue. "Bell and I came home a few weeks ago, and Mama was able to meet my girlfriend Alice and Bell's Edward. She pulled me to the side and made sure that I was being a gentleman that she raised to Alice, and that Bell was being treated like the princess she is. She only wanted our happiness. My Mama put all that she had into our happiness. And now, I'm here, having to tell you all what my Mama's life meant. To me, my Mama meant the world. To Bell and I, she was our only family. We loved her with everything we had. She was our Mama. And I am going to miss her so damn much!"

Jasper broke down, and I made my way to him and gave him a hug. We held each other for a moment, and when he was ready, we stood their, hands intertwined while he finished up. "Mama, I'm gonna miss you so much. I love you. And I want you to know that you were the best. I wont ever let you down. I love you."

After a few prayers were said, everyone made there way to the cemetery. Jasper and I stayed behind and watched as they closed the casket. He kissed the top, as did I out of respect to the woman who raised us. We stood there holding each other, trying to compose ourselves before we had to see the group of people again.

We followed the hearse to the cemetery and laid flowers over her grave. Jasper and I lingered there a little longer than everyone else wanting to get in our last goodbye. Alice and Edward, Emmett and Rose stood back as we did so.

I found myself kneeling over the casket with a rose clutched in my hands.

"Thank you Mama. Thank you for loving me and making me your own. I won't ever forget what you did for me. You're the only person I could ever really call my Mama, and I can't even put into words what you meant to me. I hope that Jasper and I have families one day, so that we can tell them all about you, and your fried chicken and we're going to play 'Knights and Dragons' with them just like you did. And I promise to take care of Jasper and Edward and keep them safe, and well fed. Rose, Alice and Emmett are here too, and I promise that the six of us will stay together and keep each other safe and out of trouble, and maybe toilet paper a few more houses too. I love you. And I guess all that's left to say is…. goodbye."

I placed my rose over her coffin as I felt Jasper kneel down beside me. His arm was around my waist as I cuddled into his chest.

"This is it Mama. This is our final goodbye. I promise I will take care of Bell. Just like you always told me to do. I won't let you down. I won't let her down. I promise to make sure that she is taken care of, and I promise to take care of Alice just like the gentleman you raised. Thank you for every day you gave me Mama. You will be in our hearts forever. I love you."

Jasper and I stayed there for a long time. I kept one hand on her coffin until it was finally being lowered into the ground. We stood then, and I found myself just staring.

This was it.

_This was our final good bye._

Jasper found Alice, and Edward's arms snaked around my shoulder pulling me close to him. I cried into his chest, as he held me tighter.

Finally, we made our way back to the house, where many of her friends and co-workers were, eating and drinking, sharing favorite stories about the lady of the hour. We thanked everyone for coming, and the last of the guests left by midnight.

I kicked off my shoes and began to clean up knowing we would be leaving in the morning. Jasper was out on the front porch with Alice, Rose and Emmett and I wanted him to relax. Edward helped me clean up, and when the last bag of garbage was out, he grabbed several beers and we made our way outside to join everyone else.

Edward and I took our seats on the porch, his back up against the railing, and me in-between his legs. Emmett and Rose were in the swing, and Alice was seated on Jasper's lap who was sitting in a rocking chair. The girls were still fully dressed minus their shoes and nylons, and the guys had all shed their jackets and shirts were pulled out.

We sat there and drank, remembering Mama.

Just the way she would want us too.

We made a toast to her at the end of the night, each of us with a glass of Boones Farm in memory of her life and what she meant to each one of us.

The longest day ever finally came to an end and the final chapter of my past life closed.

The next morning we said good-bye to the white Victorian house for the last time and caught a plane home.

I was ready to get home and go on with life.

_It's what Mama would have wanted._

**A/N: Grab your tissues and wipe your eyes. No matter how many times I proofed this, I always ended up with a few tears at the end. Edward would be calling me a pansy right now. And I would tell him he could call me anything he wanted…**

**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU again for all the amazing reviews. Can we get even more this time? Tell me what you thought, everyone really seemed to love Mama's character, and I'm sorry for killing her off, but at least it wasn't Jazz, right?**

**The next few chapters aren't as heavy. There is some fun and lemons to be had for these crazy kids.**

**Reviews are like an airport greeting from Edward!! Wrap your legs around that review button and give me a proper greeting!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Can I just start off by mentioning that I'm in shock and awe with all the faithful readers I have with my little adventure? Wow! The last two chapters got the most reviews yet, THANK YOU! Sounds like I made most of you cry last chapter…. I'm happy that I could get the waterworks flowing. (Not too often in life that you say you're proud to make someone cry.) Apparently I did something right.**

**Christmas with the Cullen's is the highlight of this chapter, and some other…stuff. It's fun.**

**Oh, I've gone back and have been editing all of the previous chapters, as I didn't realize how many errors I had. Thanks for overlooking them! Edward likes all my imperfections!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. **

**On with the show… **

Chapter 18: Past. Present. Future

It was now Christmas week and we were working on getting back into some kind of routine. Mama's funeral was behind us; no one of talked much about that day, knowing how hard it had been. We had returned home and life went back to normal.

_Well as normal as life ever was for the Cullen Clan. _

Mama's house was only on the market for a few days before it sold. We thought about keeping it, but realized we wouldn't be able to keep up on it being so far away. And there was nothing left for us in Texas now to go back too.

Jasper and I found comfort in each other as we always did and relied on one another whenever we needed to let go about thoughts of Mama. He was having a hard time with her death, and I had been internally kicking myself for all the years we kept our distance because of James.

Jasper could have had so much more time with his Mama if it hadn't been for me.

I brought this up to him one day when I was having a pity party for myself, but he just shrugged it off; saying that with me was where he was meant to be. Mama wanted it that way. I let it go to pacify him, but deep down it killed me to think of what I took away from him.

No word was heard about James. In my book, no news is good news. I was becoming more relaxed, and Edward was even letting me out by myself. I almost felt a little odd not having one of the guys with me at all times, or at least Rose and Alice. I felt like when I was 16, and got to drive by myself for the first time.

Rose was in Chicago on a shoot and would be returning on the 24th, just in time for us to make our way to the Cullen's. The guys were busy at the shop, lots of new tattoos given as gifts or something. Whatever the reason, it kept the business flowing nicely.

My newest piercing was finally healing and I was itching for some lovin'. Edward hadn't touched me since the night he it, completed the new addition for good reason of course. There was a good amount of pain at first, but I was ready for this bad boy to get a test drive.

Poor Edward was back to cold showers when my knees were hurting. My man seemed to be standing at attention every time I looked at him, and after a while, your knees start to give out._ That would be a great conversation to have with your doctor. Knee surgery in your mid twenties from giving to much head? Don't think so._

Ever since finding out that Edward was talented in the musical department, I had begged him non-stop to do an open mic night. I wanted to hear him play so badly that I couldn't think of anything else other than his hands making sweet music on the piano.

Tonight he finally agreed, and had a 10pm slot at Eclipse.

So it was now 9pm, we had just gotten home from the shop and everyone separated so we could get ready. Edward was in the shower, and I stood with a towel wrapped around me, fresh from my own shower as I looked through the closet for something hot to wear. I wanted to look good for my man.

He was nervous, and I wanted to make it worth his while. _And of course I wanted to get a lil' somethin' somethin' afterwards so I wanted to play my cards right. _

I picked out a pair of black dress pants and a red halter that sparkled. I matched it with a pair of strappy heals, silver necklace, earrings and bracelet. I was just pulling up my pants when I felt two warm hands wrap around my waist to stop me.

"Please. Please don't do that. I prefer them off. Especially," I felt his tongue on my neck as I shivered into his touch. "When your little panties match your shirt. Do you know what that does to me B?" Edward ground his steel hard erection into my ass as I leaned into his touch.

I turned around so I was facing him and rubbed myself on his hardened member. I wrapped my arms around his neck while his were around my waist and nuzzled my nose into his.

"I think I have a pretty good idea." I ground my hips into him making him groan loudly. "You do realize we need to get going. And you need to shave." I laughed at the tickle of his stubble as he kissed across my collarbone making me throw my head back so he could have a better angle.

He reached his hands in my unzipped pants, under my panties and ran his fingers up my slick folds. I gasped as he plunged two fingers deep in me fast and hard.

"B. You're so fucking hot. I can't even tell you how turned on I am right now. God, you are so fucking wet and tight, my cock is begging to see you." He kissed me hard on the lips, and then moved down my chest, kissing and licking the tops of my breasts that were showing over my low cut shirt.

He massaged his thumb around my clit ring watching to see if I was in any pain. I arched my back in the pleasure it brought. Alice was right; this was like _nothing_ I had imagined.

"How does it feel B? From the looks of it, you seem pretty healed." He whispered into my neck while peppering my body with kisses.

He continued plunging his fingers in me while circling my clit ring. I moaned and bucked my hips into him wanting more friction.

"Ungh! It feels...so...fucking good E." I moaned trying to form a complete thought.

Edward took that as the go ahead and pulled out his hand, which made me whimper at the loss of contact. He pulled my pants and panties down in one shot and dropped his towel. My man was standing fully erect and ready for some action. I watched as he stared at my clit ring and practically drooled. _God I loved when he drooled. _

I know he had seen it plenty in the last few days, but the fact that he was actually going to be able to do something made him putty in my hands.

He slid his fingers in once again and started pumping fiercely watching my hooded eyes as he worked. He wrapped his other hand in my hair and pulled me in close to his chest as I propped one leg up on our bed.

"I'm going to fuck you now Ms. Swan." He wasn't asking. It wasn't a request, rather a demand.

_Oh dear Lord, Edward was being dominant and I so wanted to be dominated by him!_

"I'm yours E. Do with me as you please." His face dropped even more taking in my statement, as I became his sex toy.

Before I knew it, he had me bent over the side of the bed and slid himself into my wet center. I screamed at the initial contact of his dick running over my clit as the electricity ran through my body to where I needed it most.

"Holy fucking shit! Oh my God...Oh...my...God...E...Ungh...oh my...fuck!" I moaned as he thrust into me harder and faster with each stroke.

His hand reached around and rubbed against my clit, pulling at my ring, eliciting the loudest moan I had. My orgasm shot through me at that moment, and I felt just a little bit bad for our neighbors, which I would never be able to face again if anyone had been home to hear us. _Sorry for the screaming, I um, well, um, my man E, well, oh fuck…you've seen this God, you figure out what we were doing in that room and see if you wouldn't scream his name!_

Edward continued to thrust into me riding out my orgasm as he grunted, holding my hips in place so that he could fuck me deep and hard. I moaned and begged for more as I felt him burst inside me.

Edward leaned over me as we stood there catching our breath laying his head on my back, kissing between my shoulder blades.

"Fuck B. I've wanted to do that since that night I pierced you. It was well worth the wait." He said kissing me again then releasing himself from me.

"Not as much as I wanted it. That, I am sure of Mr. Cullen." I swatted his ass as he went over to pull on a pair of boxers.

I re-dressed and sat on our bed watching him. I watched the way his chest and stomach flexed while he threw on his t-shirt. And I watched as his arms moved while he put them through his gray button down. I drooled as I watched him pull up his faded blue jeans, making out the curves of his perfect ass. I knew I had to get out of these thoughts, knowing we just had mind-blowing sex, and had to get to the bar. _At this rate, we weren't going anywhere and I would be __**fine**__ with that._

We both finished up getting ready managing not to touch, because if we did, the clothes would no longer be on and we would be even later. I threw my hair up in a clip, re-touched my make-up and slipped into my shoes as Edward got our coats. I was buckling my shoe as I felt his arms come around my waist. I jumped at the contact and lost my balance. Luckily Edward caught my clumsy ass before I gave myself a new bruise.

"B. If you can't even stand up in those things in here, how the hell are you going to manage on the ice?" He asked poking at my heels still holding me around the waist.

"Easy." I said kissing him and grabbing my purse. "You'll just have to carry me if I fall."

He smirked at me as he grabbed both our leather coats and held mine open as I slipped my arms in. It was chilly out and I was grateful it was only a few blocks walking to the bar.

We made our way out to the hallway and were stopped by the watchful eyes of Emmett, Jasper and Alice. I shook my head and looked down knowing what was coming. _I felt like a fucking child that was caught with their hand in the damn cookie jar._

"Bella Barbie. I'm seriously going to be having nightmares after listening to that shit!" Emmett said as he turned beat red. _Blush for me big brother, make my day…_

"Well Emm, I'm sorry if E is just _that_ good." Edward nudged me in the ribs for me to stop, but I couldn't pass up a moment to torture my dear brother bear. "And my new piercing was fucking awesome Tink. You sure were right. I felt like I was on fire when I...."

I was cut off by Edward's hand over my mouth. Alice turned red and nuzzled her head into Jasper's chest. Emmett was shaking he was laughing so hard.

Jasper looked mortified.

"Ok honey, I think I cut you off before you even started drinking." Edward said as he kissed my cheek and led us to the elevator.

We made our way outside and I immediately kicked myself for the heels I chose to wear. I knew they looked hot with my outfit, but felt the blisters start to form almost immediately, not to mention the frostbite that was setting in. _Damn you stilettos for making my legs look fuckhot, you're killing me!_

Alice had the same pained expression on her face as I looked down to see even higher heels on her little feet. We had only been walking a few feet when I felt myself starting to slip on ice that was on the sidewalk. Edward of course caught me before I landed face first in a snow bank. _God Bless that man and his quick reflexes._

He bent down in front of me and grabbed my legs from behind. "Hop on B. I don't want you falling and getting hurt."

I jumped on and he lifted me higher with his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his ear letting him know how thankful I was for his help.

"I didn't really mean for you to carry me when I said it earlier." I said as he shook his head laughing.

Jasper followed suit and had Alice on his back shortly after. Alice and I rode our men like horses and had our hands in the air playing with our imaginary lasso's and whips while the guys made fun of us and laughed their asses off.

Why live a life when you aren't going to have any fun with what you are given?

Am I right?

Thought so.

Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I grabbed a table near the front while Edward checked in with the bartender. He came back with a round of drinks running his hands nervously through his hair. I grabbed his hip and brought him to rest between my legs while he stood. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his chest.

"You have nothing to be nervous about, E." I kissed him again, looking into his mesmerizing green eyes. "You're going to be just fine baby." I slapped his ass as he looked at me with his famous crooked smile. "Now go out there and show them what you got!"

He kissed my lips as his name was announced. He looked at me one last time before walking up on stage. An old piano was ready and waiting for his long fingers to play it just right.

_Those fingers, oh, what they could do... _

Edward took a seat behind it and adjusted the mic to him before taking a deep breath and staring out in the crowd until his eyes found mine. He relaxed a little and began playing.

He stopped his scale and got the microphone where he wanted it. "Hi. I'm Edward Cullen and....yeah, my girlfriend begged me to come out tonight. So that's why I'm here. So... here we go." He was so nervous.

Poor guy.

He started out with a few songs that got the crowd going then slowed it down a little as he began to play 'Be Like That'

_He spends his nights in California,  
Watching the stars on the big screen,  
Then he lies awake and he wonders,  
Why can't that be me  
Cause in his life he is filled  
With all these good intentions  
He's left a lot of things  
He'd rather not mention right now  
But just before he says goodnight,  
He looks up with a little smile at me,  
And he says,_

If I could be like that,  
I would give anything  
Just to live one day, in those shoes  
If I could be like that,  
what would I do,  
What would I do

Now and dreams we run  
She spends her days up in the north park,  
Watching the people as they pass  
And all she wants is just  
A little piece of this dream,  
Is that too much to ask  
With a safe home, and a warm bed,  
On a quiet little street  
All she wants is just that something to  
Hold onto, that's all she needs  
Yeah!

If I could be like that,  
I would give anything  
Just to live one day, in those shoes  
If I could be like that, what would I do,  
What would I do

I'm falling into this, dreams,  
We run away

If I could be like that,  
I would give anything  
Just to live one day, in those shoes  
If I could be like that, what would I do,  
What would I do

If I could be like that,  
I would give anything  
Just to live one day, in those shoes  
If I could be like that, what would I do,  
What would I do

If I could be like that,  
I would give anything  
Just to live one day, in those shoes

If I could be like that, what would I do,  
What would I do  
Falling in  
I feel I am falling in, to this again.

The crowd stood in applause as I wiped the tears from my eyes. He looked up at me and smiled my crooked smile. I melted in that second and my love for him grew tenfold.

Edward continued his set, playing song after song for the next hour, making me tear up every time. Listening to him play made me feel all warm and tingly, knowing the talent, compassion and love behind his music. He put his heart and soul into his music, and you could feel it with every note that he played.

After his last song, he sat there for a moment while his eyes met mine and silently told me he loved me. Our eyes were locked and I nodded my head in agreement.

Edward took a bow and thanked the crowd before jumping down and making his way to our table. Emmett and Jasper gave him a slap on the back as Alice grabbed him in for a hug. I was last for a reason knowing that my greeting would be the longest. _And I kinda wanted to jump his bones too, but that's beside the point._

I opened my arms as I stood and he wrapped his around my waist lifting me in the air. He kissed me hard and long on the lips as Emmett yelled out catcalls.

"You were awesome baby. Please tell me you will do this again." I said as I ran my fingers through his hair watching his eyes roll back in his head.

He stared into my eyes as he kissed me again. "For you, I would do anything B."

He held me like that for a few more minutes until we realized we weren't alone and were in a crowded bar with lots of people looking at us. He kissed me once more and sat me back down on my feet.

We stayed until closing, drinking and talking, laughing and telling stories. Alice and I did some provocative dancing together that just about made Edward and Jasper cream themselves. _I would let my friend use my body as a stripper pole any night if I got that reaction out of my man._

The tequila had obviously taken affect and we were living it up, enjoying the night. The more we danced, the thirstier we got and the more we drank.

Edward had his usual tab going, and I lost track of drinks after the 8th round.

Oh well. Who's counting anyways? _We obviously weren't_.

Edward and I danced the night away in each other's arms as he sang to me with that voice that made a pool form in my panties. I tried to sing to him, but that was a sad sound even when I was sober. I must not have sounded quite so bad to his drunken ears, because he sang with me and told me we should do a duet sometime.

_Ok, so he was a little drunk, because asking me, Bella Swan, to sing was not something you wanted to hear. _

By the end of the night we were all hammered and were once again thankful for being in walking distance of home. We were fortunate enough to have walked this course so many times, that tonight, even in our drunken stupors; we were able to find our way home without having to ask directions. _Emmett actually had to ask one night after Jag Bombs got the best of him. That was some funny shit._

Alice and I hopped on our guy's backs after grabbing our jackets and made our way outside. Poor Edward was so sloshed he had a hard time standing up right. I'm sure the weight on his back, _which was me,_ wasn't helping his balance. He swayed from side to side as we went towards a snow bank. I jumped off his as he fell ass first into the snow.

The guys broke out laughing as Emmett reached his hand down to help his little brother back on his feet. _ Emmett was the soberest out of us all? Weird how this night is turning out!_

Edward got back on his feet and reached out to grab me up again without saying anything. He was trying to save his words for when he actually needed them.

_Seriously, that's what he told me. _

I shook my head no, and started walking as he continued to stand there hunched over in his drunken fog. I didn't make it to far before slipping on some ice and landing flat on my ass. I sat there laughing looking up at everyone as Edward reached out his hand to help me up. I took his act of kindness one-step further, and pulled him down with me and laughed even harder as we both sat there staring up at everyone.

Emmett looked at us both like we were crazy, and Jasper and Alice busted a gut laughing their asses off at the sorry state we were in.

Emmett to the rescue again. He pulled Edward up and then me, and whipped me onto his back. I tried to jump off but he wasn't having it, and I think I may have even bucked my hips into his back in the process.

Oops! _Nothing like a little brotherly love, right?_

"Bella Barbie. Stay put. I'm not picking either one of you fuckers up again." He said as we continued to walk. _Or ride, depending on who you were. _

Edward followed behind us smoking his 100th cigarette for the night as he walked with his head down, watching his footing. Emmett said I couldn't have a smoke in fear of burning his ear or something.

_Whatever._

I slapped Emmett hard on his ass telling him to _'giddy up'_, which made him shake with laughter as he started to gallop towards the building. Jasper and Alice were pretty far ahead of us as Alice complained of the cold. _I didn't know what she was talking about; I was hot as hell, even though it was probably close to 20 below out. Weird girl!_

We made our way home and crashed. I woke up the next morning still fully clothed, heals and all fanned out across Edward's chest.

When we finally got up, hung over and all, we made our way to the mall to finish up the last of our Christmas shopping. Edward made me go off with Emmett and Alice while he and Jasper had some shopping of their own to do.

_Whatever. I knew exactly what they were shopping for. _

Shopping with Emmett and Alice was fun as hell. The first store we stopped at was Victoria's Secret and Alice and I picked out several _'presents'_ for our men. Emmett rolled his eyes and said he was trying to drain the memory from his head, but in the end he had us picking out something special for Rose. _I spent the next 45 minutes trying to drain that memory from my head!_

Next stop was the jewelry store where Emmett picked out a diamond necklace for Rose. If I was her, and getting that gift, I would definitely felt loved, and would probably be giving him a little something extra to show him. Even big Emmett had a soft side picking out such a beautiful necklace for his wife. I stared through the glass counters looking at all of the sparkly things they held. My eyes fell on this beautiful three-diamond necklace. It was 2 karats total and was several thousand dollars, but damn if I didn't want to see it a little closer_. Just to touch of course._ Emmett finished up his purchase and made his way over, elbowed me out of my diamond daze.

The last stop was at a music store where Alice ordered a guitar for Jazz. He loved to play and had always wanted an acoustic one. He was going to shit bricks when he seen it.

We met up with Jasper and Edward a little while later and made our way home. We put up a Christmas tree at Rose and Emmett's, deciding that one was plenty between the 6 of us, but we all had a hand in decorating it, each of us bringing some kind of tradition to the plate.

The next day while Edward was working, I had the piano I had gotten him for Christmas delivered and set up in the spare bedroom. I told him I had a few more presents to get and didn't go into the shop with him. He saw right through me as I can't lie for shit, but let it go.

_Smart man_.

Edward came home around 8pm just like I asked him to. When he came in the door, he called out for me, but I wanted him to come find me. _And his surprise._

He came into the room, hair a sexy disarray stopping dead in his tracks when he saw me leaning against his new toy dressed in a revealing black nightie. His jaw dropped and he grabbed his pants, _as I'm sure he felt more than a little something something down below if you know what I mean._

"You like what you see Cullen?" I asked as provocative as possible while I sucked on my finger. _He ate that shit up every time._

He nodded his head up and down speechless as he licked his bottom lip.

_Mission accomplished. _

Edward walked over to me and stood right in front of the piano laying his hand across my hip.

"How the fuck...B.... how did you.... when did you..." He stared at the baby grand piano as he stroked the keys with one hand and rubbed my hip with the other, all while his mouth hung open_. I hoped that he wouldn't get any drool on his new toy, it did cost an arm and two legs._

I kissed his cheek and went over to lean against the side of the piano, pushing my chest out and arching my back. _Why watch porn if you're not gonna use any of it?_

"Today when you were at work, I had it delivered." I watched him staring at the piano like it was a piece of meat. "Did I deliver baby?"

Again, all he did was nod his head up and down.

Faster than I could have imagined, he was in front of me, lifting me to sit on top of the piano. He palmed my breasts in his hands, making me moan at the contact.

"I want to fuck you on my new piano, B." He said as he kissed up my throat, and behind my ear, sucking on a sensitive spot under my lobe.

"Anything you want E. Anything." I said moaning at his touch. _Damn, this man could fucking do anything he wanted to me, as long as his mouth stayed sucking on my body._

Edward's hands moved up my bare thighs and under my lingerie and he found that I was wearing no panties. Edward's face contorted in pleasure as his fingers went right for my dripping wet pussy.

"Fuck. Me. You're so fucking wet. You want to be fucked on my piano, don't you?" I nodded in agreement. "Such a naughty girl, B. What am I going to do with you?" Edward's lips went across my collarbone and down my chest, peaking his head under the lace.

"Oh, I could think of MANY things you could do to me for being so naughty." I pushed his head down towards my waiting core and listened while he growled, yes I said _growled _at my forwardness.

Edward pulled the nightie off me, leaving me naked as the day I was born. He knelt in front of me, kissing up my legs, starting at my ankles, moving up to my knees, and finally kissing up my inner thighs and to the place I wanted, no _needed_ him most.

Edward kissed my wet lips before spreading them with his fingers and sticking his barbell over my piercing and making circles around it. I bucked my hips into his mouth, moaning at how fucking good he felt.

Edward continued licking, sucking and nibbling on my swollen clit, as he plunged two of his long fingers in my waiting pussy. I screamed at the contact, knowing that if Emmett was anywhere in or near the building, he was going to be giving me shit for this later.

Edward continued with his fingers, finding my G-spot and sucking on my clit. I felt the knowing tightening in my stomach and came hard in his mouth. Edward rode out my orgasm, continuing to suck on my clit, and dipping his tongue into my pussy, licking up all I had to offer.

"Is that what you had in mind, B?" I nodded in agreement as I couldn't talk right now. I ran my hands through his hair and watched as his hand went for his crotch. _His poor member needed some obvious lovin'._

I jumped down from my seat and knelt in front of him and went for the buttons on his jeans.

"How rude of me, I see you have a friend that wants to be introduced, and I didn't come down and say hello." I pulled his jeans and boxers down in one move and licked the precum off his engorged cock as he thrust his hips at me. "I think I'm still pretty naughty. What else did you have in mind?"

I took as much of his cock in my mouth that I could and sucked hard, making my mouth his own personal vacuum. Edward moaned and groaned at his cock being in my mouth, but pulled himself out of me only seconds later.

I looked up at him confused, but understood as he grabbed my forearms and sat me back up on the top of the piano.

"Oh, you naughty, naughty girl. I think I need to fuck that naughtiness out of you. What do you think?" I could only nod, as he thrust his cock into my now soaked again pussy, wasting no time for us to get acquainted with one another. _Hi, I'm Bella's better half, and you are?_

Edward thrust in and out of me hard and fast while he rubbed my clit with his finger. I came hard for the second time as Edward continued with his pace, following behind me only seconds later.

Edward leaned into my chest, between my tits as our breathing slowed down.

_My man was a fucking sex God._ After taking me on top of the piano, it was the bench, and then finally the floor, giving me rug burn in all the best places.

_Best purchase I ever made. _

_Although I have to admit it would have been fucking embarrassing if we would have had to call the piano company and tell them we broke the baby grand within the first 24 hours..._

We lay on the floor naked and wrapped in each other's arms after our third round, and my, what, sixth orgasm of the night? _Yeah, that sounds about right_. I concentrated on listening to his heartbeat, which was the sound of my life as he rubbed up and down my back.

"I know you're worn out, but will you play something for me, E?" I said, lifting my head from his chest to look at him and those piercing green orbs.

"Anything B. Anything for you." He used my words from earlier, and pulled us both up, slipping on his boxers and throwing me his shirt that I hungrily slipped on taking in all of his scent.

I sat beside him on the bench as he played a beautiful heartfelt melody. I hadn't heard it before and had to know what it was. As the last few notes were played I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"That was beautiful E. I hadn't heard that before. Did you compose it?" I asked as he stared into my eyes.

"It was for Esme. Esme's song." He said looking down at the keys. "I stopped playing during my dark years. Esme was always there for me, and she never gave up hope that I would clean up my act and get back on track. When I finally did, this was the first song I wrote. I worked night and day on it, trying to make it perfect." His eyes lit up. "You should see her when I play it. She falls to pieces."

"I bet she does. You're very gifted baby." I said as I clung to his arm. I kissed it then looked up to meet his eyes. "Merry early Christmas."

He kissed me in return, then got up and ran out of the room holding up a finger signaling that he would be right back.

I sat and waited, looking down at the bench, which was ah…no longer black. I would need to clean it soon.

I wondered if there was any special cleaning this…stuff off of fine wood like this. _Suppose I could call the company that I bought it from, but that would be awkward…_

When Edward came back in, he sat beside me once again with his hands behind his back. He saw me staring at whatever was in them and presented me with a small velvet box.

I opened it, staring at him quizzically as I reached in and pulled out the three-diamond necklace that I had been ogling yesterday. He grabbed it from my hands and slipped it on my neck, kissing as he clasped it shut.

"Merry early Christmas B." He said wrapping me in his arms as I stared at the necklace.

"How did you know?" I looked at him with tears in my eyes. This was the best gift I could have ever asked for.

"Emmett. He said you couldn't take your eyes off of it. You should see yourself now. I would die a happy man if the last thing I saw were those eyes and how they sparkle." Edward cupped my cheek in the palm of his hand and caught a few tears that escaped my eyes.

I wrapped my hands around his neck, kissing as I went, wanting him to know how he made me feel.

"I love you E. So fucking much!" I kissed him again as he leaned in towards me.

"As I love you B. so fucking much!" Edward wrapped his arms around me tightly, letting me feel all the love he had for me.

"Thank you. I can't tell you how much this means to me. It's beautiful." I said looking down at the necklace again, rubbing my fingers over the diamonds. _Past. Present. Future._

"Yes. She is beautiful." He wasn't staring at the necklace with me. _But at me_.

I melted in his arms and we sat there like that relishing in each other and the gifts we received. I was truly loved by this tattooed angel.

My angel.

We made love a total of 5 times that night, and even though I was sore as hell the next morning, I wouldn't have done a single thing different.

********

Christmas with the Cullen's was entertaining to say the least. Rose had arrived home Christmas Eve morning, and we headed upstate shortly after. Weather was turning bad and the roads were shit for our two-hour drive. Emmett drove slow as Rose was beating the shit out his arm any chance she got, saying he was driving like a maniac in these conditions.

Emmett just rolled his eyes and took it, being the good husband he was.

Rose calmed a little when Emmett threw a velvet box her way and she found the necklace he had gotten her. _I know, I know, very romantic_.

_Very Emmett. _

And Alice had given Jasper the guitar this morning, which I am pretty sure he creamed himself over.

_Lucky Alice to be on the receiving end of that one._

They were still feeling each other up left and right during our long ass ride, and I kind of felt what everyone else did when they had to watch or listen while Edward and I went at it.

I had one more gift I wanted to give Edward, but figured I would give it to him later when it was just the two of us.

Several hours later we arrived at casa de Cullen. Us girls ran inside to get out of the snow and the guys unloaded the luggage. Esme was busy away in the kitchen and let us pitch in this time. Carlisle had drinks in hand ready for the brooding men to come in from the cold.

We sat around the fireplace through out the afternoon and evening enjoying each other's company and telling stories of Christmas past.

Tradition in the Cullen house was to open gifts on Christmas morning, but to open stockings on Christmas Eve night. Esme had eight stockings over the fireplace with each of our names on them. They were hand made and later I found out that she had made each one.

_Wow, she must have thought Jasper and I were staying around for a while._

Smart woman.

She was so thoughtful and put lots of little trinkets in our stockings. Cards, hair clips, gift cards, perfumes, engraved pens, the list went on and on.

The next morning I woke to Edward in my arms, in his childhood bedroom. I traced the Cullen crest tattoo on his shoulder while he slept, hoping someday he would be putting that same tattoo on me.

_I had high hopes, I know._

Christmas breakfast was interesting. Esme had a tradition of making egg bake and monkey bread that all the guys devoured in a matter of minutes. Apparently she only makes it once a year, and you had to get your fill to last you until next year. _Watching Emmett and Alice compete for the last piece of monkey bread will go down in the history of funniest shit ever, as she stabbed him with her fork and stole it as he was putting it in his mouth._ We had breakfast and exchanged presents by the fireplace again. We were all in our pajamas, and I remembered to pack some decent ones knowing there was a possibility of the rest of the family seeing them. They were red and white striped thermal underwear with a bow on the ass. Edward picked them out thinking they were cute. Alice had on footsy pajamas; you know the ones that baby's wear with the feet on them? _Yeah, she found them in her size._ And Rose had on a red silk matching pants and shirt. The guys all had pajama pants and t-shirts on, which surprised me, seeing that I knew Jasper and Edward slept in only their boxers, but probably figured that they needed to dress more appropriately in front of the parentals.

Once all gifts were exchanged and hugs were given, we started to clean up so we could spend the afternoon relaxing before having to head home.

"Hold on. I have one more present for Emm." Rose said as she ran out of the room and came back with a square box.

Emmett looked at it questioning his wife. As he undid the wrapping paper and bow, Rose's eyes nearly bugged out of her head waiting for whatever was in it.

Emmett took off the cover and his jaw dropped as he looked inside. A look of shock square across his face.

"Rosie, are you serious?" You couldn't have wiped the grin off his face even if you tried.

"Yup" Is all she said. She was crying now as she stared at her husband.

"Well..." Alice broke the ice bouncing from one foot to the other, and asked the question we all wanted to know.

Emmett held up what was in the box.

A pregnancy test with two lines.

"We're pregnant!" Rose yelled as she jumped into Emmett's arms.

Everyone erupted into screams and hugs for the parents to be. I looked over at Edward and seen he was smiling too, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Esme and Carlisle cried like the proud grand parents to be would, as Esme started talking about colors for the baby room.

_She moved fast._

I was happy for them, but also felt a tug at my heart, not knowing if I would ever be able to give Edward that same gift. He looked at me with heart-felt eyes; he felt the same thing.

Everyone congratulated the parents to be and we spent the rest of the afternoon celebrating and talking about the baby.

Later, we went up to Edward's room and packed to go home. I pulled out an envelope and threw it at him as I lay on the bed.

"What's this?" He asked as he clanked his tongue ring against his teeth staring at the envelope.

"The rest of your present." I smiled back at him.

He opened the envelope and grinned from ear to ear.

He held up the two plane tickets and laughed.

"Vegas?"

"Vegas. I do recall your ogling over the skimpy bikini's that Rose brought me a few months ago. What better place to try them out?" I said as I licked my lips.

"There's two tickets here. Who says I'm taking you?" He joked.

I hit him hard in the stomach as he wrestled me onto the bed.

"I'm kidding. Who else would I want to be with, B?" He kissed down my neck and grabbed my ass.

His groping was starting to get pretty heavy; my shirt was lifted over my head as the door flew open and I seen Emmett standing in front of us, shit eating grin across his dimpled face.

"Time to go fuckers. Prego's ready to get on the road!" he clapped his hands together before exiting the room and leaving the door wide open.

Emmett and his perfect fucking timing. Cock blocked....................again.

_I swear that he knew exactly what time to come in, each and every time that he found us in a compromising position. Damn you Emmett Cullen!_

"Vegas?" I said looking at Edward as I pulled my shirt down.

"Vegas." He said kissing my wrist.

**A/N: So who wants to be 'introduced' to Edward's member? (My hand is as high in the hair as I can get it and my husband is standing behind me pushing it down!)**

**Next chapter is obviously Vegas, and you don't want miss it. LOTS happening.**

**Reviewers get a teaser of the trip. So hit the little button and I'll send you a lil' something' something' extra.**

**Oh, and thanks to all you lurkers who have been coming out of hiding. Welcome to the funhouse!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: This chapter is hella long, and filled with _lots_ of Edward and Bella goodness involving their trip to Vegas.**

**What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?**

**Thank you once again for all the reviews. There are many of you that have been around since the beginning of this little adventure and I appreciate the continued support. I think I've gotten better as time has gone on, but only you guys can be the real judge of that.**

**Just a side note: I went back and redid ALL of the previous chapters, adding a little bit here and there, but nothing that has substance, just trying to clean up my crappy wording seeing that I finally have a descent program to write in. God Bless Microsoft Word!!**

**Enough about me, and on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I on the other hand own the cat that thinks it needs to sleep on my head. **

Chapter 19: What Happens in Vegas…

BPOV

Bags were packed and we were on our flight to Vegas; we would be landing in a few hours. Edward had upgraded our seats and we were now in first class. The seats were huge and the champagne flowed freely. _Very freely._ I wanted to work on my book on the plane, but Edward said that for the next 7 days I was his.

No work.

No interruptions.

_No cock blocking by Emmett._

My kind of vacation.

Having Edward to myself for 7 days was fine with me. _More than fine actually._

Alice had packed my suitcase for me and didn't let me look inside before zipping it up. I had no clue what the little Pixie had packed for me, but I didn't really care either. She knew Edwards taste and what he liked on me. _And I was all for making Edward a happy man on this trip._

It was almost humorous to be in a winter coat while getting dropped off at the airport this morning because I knew it would be hotter than hell when we landed in the desert. I had Edwards _'Cullen'_ sweatshirt on with a white tank top underneath so I could strip if I needed. _The sweatshirt that is._ I also had on my worn in comfy blue jeans with holes in the knees, my typical travel pants that would be comfy for the flight. Edward was sex on legs _as usual_, wearing a black wife beater, zip down hoodie and a pair of worn in blue jeans. His hair was a messy disarray that if I didn't know any better, I would have thought it was sex hair, but then again Edward's hair _always_ looked like he just had sex. _But in reality, since we got together that usually was the truth._

Edward had accused me of being a nympho on more than one occasion, but said as long as I was _his_ nympho he was fine with it. _Seriously, have you seen my man and what he looks like? I would be crazy __**not**__ to be having sex with this fine specimen every chance I got._

We both had the idea of joining the mile high club _yet again_, but when I got up to use the bathroom and realized that it wasn't much bigger than a cardboard box, we both declined and figured we could christen the hotel suite when we got there. As good as the sex is with Edward Cullen, I wasn't looking forward to a water faucet stuck up my ass. _So not my cup of tea, or box of chocolates._

_Oh, and then there was the whole snakes on a plane movie where the snakes came out the ceiling while they got it on and..... oh who am I kidding.... it just wasn't a good idea!_

Even though this was my present to E, he had taken it upon himself to do a lot of the planning. It was the middle of February now, and he spent the past few weeks planning our trip, what we were going to do and see. He said that he wanted it to be just as much for me as it was for him. _What girl could deny that? This is Edward Cullen we are talking about_! And going away with the man that I loved for Valentines Day was just the icing on the cake.

The plane began its descend as I stared out the window at the palm trees and the strip, _or what I could see of it anyways_ and had the eyes of a kid going to Disney World for the first time.

I felt arms wrap around my shoulders as Edward kissed my cheek from behind. I leaned back into his chest relishing in the electricity that went through my body.

"It's hard to believe that only a few hours ago we were in winter jackets trudging through the snow isn't it?" I asked as he kissed my cheek again.

"Yeah, it's surreal alright." I could feel his eyes on me watching me intently. "You look like a little kid at Christmas B. Haven't you ever been to Vegas?"

"No, actually I haven't. Jasper and I did a lot of traveling, but it was mostly for my book. And Vegas was never one of the pit stops on the way." _Obviously I've always wanted to go, hence the trip._

"Hmm...That's to bad. Emmett and I went a few years ago." I felt him laugh against me, the vibrations going straight to my core. _Ok, so I was turning into a nympho._ "It was a good time to say the least."

I turned my body towards him and he placed my legs in his lap as he rubbed his hands up and down them.

"Why was it such a good trip? And what were you guys doing here?" Emmett had been with Rose since the beginning of time, so I knew it wasn't two single guys out on the prowl. _At least it better not have been, or Emmett would have hell to pay when I got home._

"Emmett's bachelor party. Kris and Alex met us here." He laughed again. "It was a good time." He shook his head as he thought about something. _Sneaky bastard._

"Were there any strippers E? Something's got a pretty big smile on that handsome face of yours." _Like I would care if there were strippers or not, but wanted to see the expression on his face when I said it._

"Would you be mad if I said yes?" He asked looking down at our hands that were intertwined.

"Of course not." I laughed. He blew out a deep breath and kissed my cheek. "What? You think I'm going to be one of _those_ jealous girlfriends or something?" _So not my style._

"I don't know. I didn't know if that was something that offended you. Shit, I don't fucking know and I don't want to piss you off with stupid things in my past." He ran his free hand through his hair.

"E. I've seen strippers before." His eyes nearly bugged out of his head. _Oh yes, lets get to the fun stuff!_

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me. When? With other girls? That is so _fucking_ hot B!" He pressed our hands that were sitting in his lap over his hardened cock. _Kinky much?_

"From the look in your eyes... and the feel in your pants," I pushed my hand down on him, which made him squirm in his seat. "I can tell that it would turn you on further if I said I went with my hot girlfriends, but sorry to _unfloat_ your boat. Jasper wanted to go, and I lost a bet and had to go too."

"A bet?" He laughed as he listened intently waiting for booby details.

"Yeah a bet. Jasper and I were playing cards and if he won the hand I had to go with him, and if I won he would've had to go with me. To a male strip club that is." I laughed at the thought.

"Well. For my buddies sake, I would have to say that I'm glad that he won." He said laughing at the idea. "Please for the love of all that is holy, tell me that you had a lap dance. Titties in your face."

I laughed at the words he spoke and the way his eyes were waiting for my answer while his mouth hung open like a hungry dog. _I was seriously dating a 14-year-old boy sometimes._

"E. You're in luck. The Gods were listening. I had a lap dance. _Several_ actually. Lots of titties in my face. _Lots_." I emphasized the lots, remembering all the dances Jasper _insisted_ I have.

Edward shifted in his pants making room for the big man down under that wanted to make his presence known. _Oh, how much did I want the big man to come out and play._

"B. You are fucking killing me here. You know I love you and all, and that I don't have any desire to be with another woman, but the thought of you getting danced on like a pole and titties in your face is about enough to kill me." He kissed me hard on the mouth then leaned over to whisper in my ear. "You have no idea how much I just want to fuck you right here. In front of all these people."

_That would make two of us, good looking!_

I rubbed myself on the seat to relieve to get a bit of friction; as I bit down on my bottom lip. A balding guy in the isle across from us was watching me as I shifted and his jaw dropped. I blushed and laughed it off. _Maybe I was giving his something to get __**his**__ jollies off by._

I kissed Edward below his ear taking a quick lick and whispered back. "You know how badly I want you to do that, but" I nodded to the man that was still watching me like his life depended on it. "I think we are already giving a bit of a show, and I don't think baldy over there could handle any more."

Edward got my drift and nodded at the balding 50-year-old guy that looked like he was going to rub one off _right here_. Edward just smiled and wrapped his arm tightly around my waist as he held me close.

A few minutes later the captain came on overhead and announced the weather and wished us a happy trip as we made our landing. _Oh it was already a __**happy**__ trip, sir._

As soon as the plane landed, Edward got our carry-ons from the overhead compartment and made me walk in front of him. _Probably to hide the raging hard on that didn't want to go down._ He slapped me hard on the ass making me jump as we walked. I looked back and seen him staring at baldy. He mouthed a _'what?'_ to me as if he had no idea that he just slapped my ass in front of a good 20 people. An elderly lady glared at me and I just shook my head. _Oh grandma, you know you liked it. It'll add some spring in your step to watch us youngins' go at it.._

We made our way off the plane and waited for our luggage before we stood in line for a taxi. In New York, you just stood out in the street and flagged one down. Here, there were so many people waiting on taxi's that you had to wait in a special line for your turn. _Whatever, the sooner we got one, the sooner we could work on christening the room._

When it was finally our turn, we gave the cabby the name of the hotel and we were on our way. I had stripped my sweatshirt and had it wrapped around my waist as the Nevada heat was starting to get to me. Edward did the same, and I had a hard time focusing on our new surroundings as I stared at his tattooed arms that I just wanted to lick. _And suck on, and then suck on other parts of his anatomy, but that's beside the point, right?_

Edward looked over at me and was about to say something when he looked down and his jaw dropped open. I followed his eyes that were now staring at my chest. _Oh yeah E, a little added bonus just for you!_

"See something you like E?" I asked knowing exactly what he was looking at. _Bella the vixen was out to play and shy Bella hid in the suitcase, hoping to not make herself known for the next 7 days._

Edward wrapped his arm around my hips and pulled me in close, wrapping his other arm around my stomach and making his way to cup my jean covered pussy. I moaned at his touch wanting him to go down on me here and now, cabi watching from the mirror.

"No bra today I see, B." He kissed the side of my cheek. "You can see the barbells right through your shirt." _Duh! Don't think I knew that? All for you baby._

"And is that a problem baby?" I whispered into his ear, sucking on his piercing, as he began fingering my pussy through my pants making my hips thrust at his hand.

"Not for me." He said as he kissed me chastely on the lips. "But for any other fucker that looks at you it could be." _Ooh! Bring on fightward, or Cockward! I love them both, E!_

I looked up to see the cabbies eyes on me/us as Edward continued to fondle me in the back of the grimy cab. I didn't really care that we had an audience. Not as long as Edward didn't stop touching me. _It probably made his day that he was getting to watch some free porn._

Edward's hand moved up and brushed over my nipples causing them to harden instantly. I lost track of time, and when we stopped, we were in front of the Mirage.

Edward paid the driver and grabbed our luggage and we made our way in. The air was hot and dry and I relished in the feeling, knowing that the cold was only 7 days away. _Bummer for us!_

We checked in and got our keys finding our way to the elevators. Unfortunately, there were other people in the elevator with us. I wanted some playtime. _Now._ And from the looks of it so did Edward. He stood behind my with his dick crushed against my ass, as he wrapped his arm around my waist rubbing my stomach through my shirt and running his fingers along the hem of my low rise jeans.

The tank top I was wearing was tight and I knew you could see the barbells through it, but I didn't really care. Not like we knew anyone here anyways, and I knew it would turn E on like no other. _And obviously if anyone looked at me wrong, Edward could hold his own, and would do some damage control. Naughty naughty thoughts running through my mind right now about taking care of his hands if he got in a fight, and the rest of his body…_

The elevator finally dinged and we made our way to our room. As soon as the door opened, I dropped everything in my hands as he brought our luggage in and kicked the door shut while I tackled him.

His lips were on mine, sucking and licking pushing them open to let our tongues twist together and taste one another. Edward unwrapped the sweatshirt from around my waist and pushed me backwards onto the bed, hovering over me rocking his rock hard cock into my thigh.

Edward pulled off his wife beater and I ran my hands up his chiseled chest and licked at his pierced nipples causing him to growl at my touch. _I was completely soaked by this time, and was in dire need of some kind of a release. _

"Fucking Christ B! I want to fuck you so hard you scream making the neighbors jealous as fuck! I need to be in that tight little pussy of yours. Now." He kissed me hungrily and bit down on my neck surely causing a mark. I screamed out in pleasure never feeling anything like that in my entire life.

"Fuck, E! You're gonna make me cream myself just talking!" He moaned the sexiest moan, and I did cream myself. _That's all it took. _

He watched as my eyes rolled back as my orgasm shot through me. "Did you just fucking cum baby? I know those eyes." He stared into mine as I tried to catch my breath, still seeing stars and baby kittens as I came down from my high.

"Fuck yeah I did E. I told you I would. Make me cum again. God _please_ make me scream your name!" I grabbed his hair hard pulling him onto me attacking his lips yet again, nibbling and sucking as I went. _One orgasm from this man a night was unheard of. Lets continue, shall we?_

"B, you don't even need to ask. By the time the nights over, you won't be able to stand straight, you'll be so thoroughly fucked your kitty will be purring." He grabbed the hem of my tank top and yanked it off letting the twins bounce freely.

Edward greedily took my left nipple into his mouth and bit down around the ring. I screamed out his name as he groped my other breast and twisted the ring there. I found myself humping his leg, wanting more friction. _Yes, I so just humped his leg like a fucking dog in heat. I think I __**was**__ in heat!_

"You are so naughty B. I fucking love when you're like this!" He whispered in my ear as he sucked behind it in my special spot.

"I'm yours E. I can be as naughty as you want me to be." I moaned into his hair as he continued to suck on my neck.

My pants were unbuttoned and on the floor along with my green panties within in seconds as he went for his own. I watched as he pulled them down and his erect cock was staring me in the eye. _My one eyed monster wanted to say hello. HELLO._ Edward reached down and pumped it, making my hand go straight for my pussy. I couldn't help myself. Watching him touch his cock was more of a turn on than I was ready for.

"Play with yourself B." He ordered with his deep hoarse sex voice, as he pumped his cock making he veins pop out in his forearm. _Oh dear Lord, I'm gonna cum again before we even have sex. Wow. I think this is a record breaker._

I waved my fingers in the air telling him to come hither needing to feel him. _Now_. He kneeled down on the bed next to me as I put my two fingers in his mouth for him to suck on. He did so, rubbing his tongue ring against the pads of my fingers. I moaned at the feeling of his tongue tasting me as he hummed in appreciation.

I then took my fingers out of his mouth and stuck them in my wet pussy finding my swollen clit and started to rub circles around it. He growled watching me, which only made me moan at his reaction. I watched as he pumped himself watching me rub my clit and it was the most erotic thing watching one another get off. I plunged two fingers inside myself and rocked my body as I went deeper and deeper staring at the precum that was sitting on the top of his cock, licking my lips in anticipation for him. I wanted to taste him.

He stopped his motions and lunged for me, saying _'fuck it!_' under his breath. He pulled me up on the bed, slapped my hand away and plunged his tongue into my wet pussy making me scream out his name at the feeling. He massaged my clit with his ring, eliciting moan after moan from me as he brought me closer and closer to release. He nibbled and bit down around my ring and I screamed out in pleasure again. He stuck two fingers in my waiting center and pumped me as hard as he could while I writhed on the bed. They circled up around my walls and found a spot he had never touched. _HolyfuckingshitbabyjesusGodalmighty!_

"Fucking...oh...shit.... fuck...E...Edward...oh...fuck!!!!!" I screamed as my third orgasm shot through me.

Edward licked and sucked and continued pumping me as I rode out my orgasm. Seconds later his dick was inside me, riding me fast and hard. _So much for tasting him._ The harder he went, the louder I became. I moaned and screamed his name over and over again, making my voice go hoarse. He kissed me hard on the mouth over and over letting me taste myself on him. I licked his lips making him moan louder as he loved it when I tasted my flavor off of him.

"Oh.... fuck.... Christ...B...Bella...oh...fuck...fuck..." Edward came hard as I felt his juices seep out and onto my inner thighs, as I continued my thrusts into him helping him ride it out.

He collapsed on me and pulled out unable to hold himself up any longer. I rolled him off of me and cuddled into his chest while he wrapped his arms around my naked form. His hand sat on top of my ass and traced along my crack. No guy had ever touched that area before, and it was a highly…_erotic _feeling? _Wow, this is new._

"I like what you're doing E." I said into his chest, hoping I didn't sound to kinky.

"This?" He asked as he continued to trace up and down and just above my crack.

I nodded my head. "Would you think of me as a freak if I told you how amazing it felt?" _Come on, he's covered in tattoo's and piercings, and you wonder if he's gonna think that __**you're**__ the freak in this relationship? Seriously…_

"No. Never. I love my little freak." He said as he kissed my forehead. "Would you ever want...that?" He said as he placed his finger directly over my back entrance and pushed in slightly. I jumped a little in shock. _Wow, should this feel good? Ok, I am so the freak of this relationship!_

"Ummm.... Not to sure. Never gone there before." I said honestly. "Is it something you want to try?"

"With you yes. I want to try everything with you B. But only if you want too." He said rubbing me some more. _Do I want you to stick anything in my ass? Umm… a few months ago I would have said no, but now? Yes?_

"I'll try anything with you. Once at least." I added, _just in case it was God awful or too painful_. "Is it something you enjoy?"

"Are you implying that fucking a girl in the ass is something I've done a lot of?" He looked shocked but had a smirk playing across his lips. _I wouldn't have put it past you…_

"Haven't you?" I really wondered. I mean I knew he had been with his fare share of girls, so I just thought....

"Never. Why would I do _that_...with someone I didn't really love? I mean I would think it's a pretty intimate thing to do. To try. And yours is the only one that holds any interest for me." _Oh boy, three orgasms, and I'm wet…again._

I laughed at his honesty and got up pulling him with me. "Come on, we're taking a shower. I'm all covered in jizz and want a replay later." I winked at him letting him know _exactly_ what I meant.

He followed me laughing and shaking his head. We hopped in the shower washing each other, keeping it clean. _Not that I didn't want hot shower sex, but seriously, we just fucked and I was still on cloud 9 from it and my mind blowing orgasms. _

We finished up and I wrapped a towel around my body as I got out. Edward wrapped one around his waist so low that I could see the V of his muscles and his happy trail. _It was like an arrow leading my to his special spot that I wanted to visit as often as fucking possible I should have frequent flyer miles for how often I visit.. _I brushed through my hair as he went and grabbed our toiletries and all of my makeup and shit.

Edward got dressed in a clean pair of jeans and black muscle t-shirt and sat on the counter watching me as I did my make-up and wrapped my hair up into a messy bun. As soon as I was done, he pulled the towel I had on off and stared at my naked body as he massaged my chest. I wrapped my hand around his and kissed his swollen lips.

"E. As much as I love what you're doing... we won't ever leave this room if you keep that up." Was I seriously just telling my man to stop touching me? _You're loosing it, Swan!_

"And the problem with that is?" He asked as he sucked on my left nipple. _No complaints here buddy!_

My stomach growled embarrassing me as usual, making him stop and nod his head in aggreance.

Edward had our suitcase laying open on the dresser and I searched through it looking for something to wear. Absolutely nothing looked familiar. Fucking Pixie went out and bought all new clothes.

"No. Your clothes are on the bed." I looked up to see Edward standing next to the bed. I looked at him questioningly.

"You picked out my clothes?"

He smiled his sexy smile. "Gotta make sure my girl looks good now don't I?" He asked wrapping his arms around my naked waist.

"When don't I look good?" I shot back. _Two can play at the cocky game, Cullen._

"True." Edward kissed the side of my neck as he released his hold on me and slapped my ass as he backed away.

I looked down at the bed, finding no panties or bra, just a short jean skirt and blue halter-top. He had some black sandals with a heal on the floor.

"And where are my panties baby?" I asked placing my hands on his chest all sexy like.

"No panties. No bra." Simple answer.

I raised my eyebrow and nodded at him. _This is his trip after all, whatever he wants, he gets. _I got dressed quickly and we were on our way. His arm never left my waist as we walked down the strip looking for some food. A few guys gave me glances, my piercings obviously visible, but Edward's death glares shooed the fuckers away. _Serves you right, fuckers! Booya!_

We stopped at Treasure Island for their buffet, and I was almost embarrassed how I packed in the food. _Almost._ But I was fucking starving and I needed to refuel for more sexin later. _Hot sex really took a lot out of a person._

We walked up and down the strip, looking at our surroundings and taking it all in. Edward bought us each one of those drinks that are 3 feet tall and had them add extra shots. By the end of mine I was feeling a _bit_ tipsy, but he just tightened his grip on me and we kept going. _Ok, I was a little more than just tipsy, but come on its Vegas! Everyone's tipsy here!_

We went for a Gondola ride, which was so romantic as I leaned into Edward's chest and he nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck as he hummed to me. The guy in the Gondola stared at us; tattoos and all but we didn't care. _I didn't care about too much when I was with Edward. _

When we were finished, Edward helped me out and we started walking down the strip again. He said he had a surprise for me and we made our way over to a tattoo shop. I stopped in front of it wondering what we were doing here.

"Are you feeling home sick E?" I laughed at him. We were around the shop every day. _Was that not enough?_

He kissed my neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. " No B. I have a surprise for you. A way to remember Vegas."

I nodded and we made our way in. Edward talked to the guy up front and they got into a conversation about their art. He was admiring Edward's sleeves and talking shoptalk. I did a little _'ahem' _to make my presence known and they got down to business.

We were taken to the back and Edward sat down on the table, his eyes were large and his smile was fully in tact.

"You getting another tatt, E?" I asked. _He could get this done for free at home..._

"Yup." The guy started to prep his neck, and I looked at the design as he pulled it off.

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked with a smile spreading across my lips. Edward nodded as he took my hand. _DearlordIhavediedandgonetoheavenholyfuckBella! My mind was going a mile a minute thinking about what he was permanently putting on his neck._

"Serious. More serious than I have ever been about anything." He kissed my hand as the guy got to work.

"And where is mine going?" I asked. _If he was getting one done, well then so was I_.

He looked at me questioning my intentions.

"You want to get one too? Are you sure, B? I don't want to make you feel pressured." He was so sweet. _Too sweet._

"More sure than anything E." _Silly silly man. No better way to get the fuckers to stop looking at me, then to get this tattoo._

The guy finished with Edward's as they talked about his shop back in New York. Then I hopped up on the table making sure not to flash the artist as the skirt was _really_ short, and of course we've already gone through that there were no panties underneath. I looked at Edward for guidance.

"Where's it going baby? You pick." _This was for him, so I figured he could pick the spot._

He rested his hands on my thighs as he leaned in to whisper in my ear. "Well, I know where I want it, but since I'm not the one doing it, I will settle for here." He placed his hand behind my ear. _Where he wanted it? Oh. Oh! I know where he wanted it!! My dirty dirty boy!_

When my stencil was in place, Edward verified it looked ok, and Jackson, the artist, went to work. 30 minutes later I was done, and we stared into the mirror together as we looked at our new work.

Edward rubbed his fingers along mine as I did his. The most beautiful and elegant calligraphy '_B'_ was now on the left side of his neck lined up with his jaw. And behind my left ear was an '_E'_ in the same lettering.

"You might as well have just lifted your leg and pee'd on me E." I said laughing at the significance. "Everyone knew I was yours before, but now there is no question, is there?"

"I know you're mine. I just wanted everyone to know that I'm yours. I can't tell you what it means to me that you would do this." He kissed my hand as we thanked Jackson, paid him and were on our way.

Since he knew Edward was an artist, we got away with just rubbing ointment over the area and not covering them up. With my hair pulled up, I wore my new art proudly wanting to show off exactly who I belonged to. _Oh, and I liked the idea of be branded by my man. I was a dirty girl, wasn't I?_

"For fucks sake, we might as well just get married it couldn't be more official." I said as we walked down the strip. I internally slapped myself for the stupid comment that popped out of my fucking mouth when Edward stopped dead in his tracks. _I'm gonna scare him away if I don't shut my damn mouth._

"Do you want to?" _Was he serious?_ I looked into his eyes.

He was dead serious.

I kissed him quickly as we continued to stare at each other. "Some day. But I'm thinking a shot gun wedding in Vegas wasn't my dream when I was a little girl." _Then again, my dream was for my dad to walk me down the isle, and that wasn't going to happen either._

"So you really want to marry me though?" I had never seen him like this. He was so heartfelt and beautiful and..... mine. _And nervous_.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his chest.

"Of course I do. E, I'm yours and you are mine. But not without our friends here. And Carlisle and Esme." I kissed him again thinking about where this conversation was going. "You really want to marry _me_?" _Maybe the alcohol was still heavy in his system. He couldn't have been thinking straight._

"In a heartbeat. If you agreed to go right now, we would. And I would even find us the best chapel. You know the ones with the drive through where Elvis does the ceremony?" I hit him in the stomach. _Cocky little bastard_. "No, but seriously, I want to marry you. And when the time is right we will. This is not the way I want to propose by the way. I'd like to think I'm a bit more romantic than this."

We looked around at all the people on the sidewalk that were staring at our little exchange. We both started laughing and continued on down the strip. We stopped at several stores and Edward insisted buying me a few new dresses, _of course hand picked by him_ and a pair of '_fuck me heals'_ to match my teal green dress.

We ended up back at the hotel, dead on our feet from the long day of travels. No more hanky panky as we were both spent. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I would get me some more of my man. _And the gigantic monster that lives in his pants._

********

EPOV

I woke up to the most beautiful sight in the world. My girl lying next to me wearing black see through tight little boy short things and a matching camisole. Her fucking piercings were just begging to be let out and teased. I wrapped her tighter in my arms letting my hardened cock rub up and down her ass.

When she had asked me yesterday if I wanted to fuck her in the ass I almost lost it right then and there. Did I want too? _More than life_. Would I do it? _Only if she was comfortable with it._ Being in that tight ass of hers probably was the greatest feeling ever. I wanted that feeling more than ever, but wouldn't take advantage of her. From the conversation we had, I knew she had never done it before, knowing what dick face and cum stain put her through in her past, I wasn't going to presume that it would be ok.

_But that didn't make the man downstairs stop thinking about it for one damn second!_

When she talked about getting married, I thought I was going to explode like a fucking giddy girl with my emotions. I wanted Bella to be mine in _every_ sense of the word. I _would_ make her mine. If she wanted to go through the cheesiest Chapel and get married by an Elvis trany while we were here I'd do it in a fucking heartbeat. _Anything_ to put a ring on her finger and make her mine forever.

Was I scared of getting married? _No._ Not like I should be. It was Bella, and there wasn't anything I was surer of in this world. Bella was my life, my family.

The thought of us possibly never having children was something I was going to have to come to terms with. I wanted kids. Bella wanted kids. We wanted to have a family.

When Rose told Emmett she was pregnant, I thought about Bella someday telling me the same thing. But that may not happen and I had to get over it. We would have a family some day_. Just not now_. We could always adopt. Lord knows between the two of us we had enough money in the bank. I know I could be a dick about a lot of things in my life, but when it came to Bella, ugh! She was my everything. My world. We had only been together for 6 months, but for some reason I couldn't imagine what my life was like before her. _And I didn't want to think about it._

Bella moved, causing my dick to press harder into her ass, and I couldn't help my knee jerk reaction to hump her.

_So I did. _

And I got harder. _My dick was pleading with me to come out and play with his best friend, and I was trying to remind him of his manners._

I stuck my fingers into her panties and rubbed around her clit and pulled on her piercing. God, that piercing. I was a complete man the day she let me pierce her clit. She trusted me with the most personal of all goods on her body. _And dear Lord, touching her like that was the fucking hottest thing in the world._

I moved lower and plunged two fingers into her wet pussy. _My dick twitched with how fucking wet she was already. _She wanted it too. But then again, _when didn't Bella want it?_ We would fuck day and night if I didn't have to work so much. That was my little nympho. The little nympho I knew and loved. _Oh who am I kidding? We do fuck day and night. _Bella began rocking back on my dick and I wondered if she was still asleep or awake. _She has been known to hump me in her sleep from time to time._

I kissed along her new tattoo thinking of the meaning behind it. She would be forever mine. As I would be hers. The thought of her being mine only made me harder. Today was Valentines Day and I was damn sure I was going to make it a day she would never forget. _We would never forget._

I kissed below her ear again and she moaned into my touch. I grabbed her nipple and pulled at the ring before massaging both her tits and rubbing my way down her stomach, holding her in place as I continued fingering her.

"Mmm...That is one hell of a way to wake me up!" She moaned and wrapped her arm behind her and grabbed my ass.

"Happy Valentines Day baby." I said as sexy as I could. "So you like your wake up call I take it?"

She ground herself harder into my dick and I bucked my hips at the friction. _Does that answer your question, Cullen? Hell yeah she likes her damn wake up call! _She reached in between us and grabbed a hold of my throbbing cock and started stroking it up and down before twisting my piercing. _Oh God! I fucking loved when she did that!_

I pulled off her panties and slipped off my boxers as I entered her with us both lying on our sides. I pumped into her hard and listened as she moaned my name. I slapped her ass hard making her scream and then giggle. _That was sure to leave a mark._

She rolled over until she was on all fours. _Hmm...wanted a little doggy doggy did she?_ She propped her head up against a pillow near the headboard and I plowed into her from behind. I pumped in and out groaning at the feeling of her tight wet pussy.

I watched as my dick slid in and out and moved my hand to sit right above her ass crack. _Now was as good a time as ever to see if she thought about what she had said_. I moved my finger down her crack so it was just above her entrance. I continued thrusting into her as I got the ok to continue.

"Is this ok B?" _Please God let it be ok._

"Go for it." She moaned as she hugged her pillow tighter. _God, I fucking love this woman!_

I sucked on my finger before I slowly entered her. The feeling was, _God, there were no words for that feeling. It was so tight and ungh!_ My dick started to twitch at the thought of someday feeling that and I almost blew it but I wanted Bella to cum with me. I removed my finger and reached down to rub her clit as I continued to thrust into her.

She moaned my name over and over as I felt her walls tighten around my dick as she came. I quickened my thrusts and blew it shortly after. I pulled out and stood up, pulling her into me and over my shoulder and spun us around in a circle.

"What the fuck E?" She asked as she slapped my ass from behind.

I threw her back on the bed as she stared at me. "I don't know. Just felt like it." _Maybe it's the fact that I just got to stick my finger in your ass, and my dick jumped for joy, but I got hella energy right now._

I lay down beside her and kissed her hard on the lips. Her smile told me that she was still on her orgasmic high. I lazily ran my hands over her flat stomach and kissed her belly button.

"So did it bother you, what I was doing?" I asked. _Please say no_. God did I want to try it again.

She looked at me as she ran a hand through my disheveled hair.

"Not at all. It was...kind of.... _nice_." I moaned at my little sex kitten as she chewed on her bottom lip. _Score one for team Cullen!_

I leaned in and kissed the top of her head. _She's seriously too good to be fucking true._ "Did I ever tell you how much I love you B?"

"Yes, but I never get sick of hearing it."

I grabbed her hand and stood her up with me.

"Come on. I think it's time we check out that pool down there." I looked over towards the window.

She nodded and went towards the suitcase. She grabbed in the suitcase looking for something to put on, but I pushed her hands away. I knew what I wanted her to wear. _Well let me rephrase that, my dick knew what he wanted her to wear._

She looked at me questioningly as I threw her the midnight blue barely there string bikini.

"Go figure on the color." She said as she started to put it on. I watched her as she got dressed and felt myself harden as she positioned her tits. _God I loved those tits_. _Please keep playing with them_. She caught my glance and pushed me hard in the chest.

She lifted her hair and I tied the top in place kissing her tattoo's as I went. I found a pair of swim trunks that Tink had bought me. Some blue and silver flowery shit. _What the fuck?_ I thought for a minute, then didn't care as I watched Bella eye fuck me as I pulled them up and tied them.

I heard her stomach growl and realized I wasn't feeding her enough only thinking about fucking her. My stomach groaned and told me it was hungry too. I grabbed her hand and lead us towards the door as I grabbed the key, towels and some cash.

We made our way down to the pool and I got us a cabana to put our stuff in. I asked for some menus as her stomach continued to growl.

"This is so embarrassing. I'm just _really_ hungry!" She said a little more rushed than usual.

I grabbed her hand and kissed it. "Its ok, I'm starved too. Sorry. I should be taking better care of you." _I gotta stop thinking with my dick and remember that there are other things that a human body needs to sustain daily life. Are you listening to that down there? Good. Now remember it!_

She looked through the menu and we ordered a little bit of everything. I ordered myself a whiskey sour and she looked at me funny.

"What? It's Vegas. People start drinking a hell of a lot earlier than this." _It was 10am for pete sake._

"Whatever." Bella rolled her eyes and sipped on her orange juice.

Our food arrived and we ate, and then went for a swim. The water was perfect temperature, and I made a mental note to come back down here so I could enjoy that bikini a little more before we left.

I had made plans for her to go to the hotel spa so I could go out and run a few errands. Her face lit up at the mention of a full body massage, and I secretly wanted to be the one massaging my angel. I made sure she got a female. My request. _She would never have to know._

I dropped her off and made my way back upstairs to shower and dress. I threw on a pair of khaki shorts and a button down short sleeve plaid shirt and made my way to my destination.

When I walked into the jewelry store, the guy behind the counter initially gave me a stare down, but then loosened his mood. _Way to look past the tattoo's buddy. I got money and I was thinking about spending it in your store, if you're lucky._

"Hey man," I shook the suits hand. "I'm looking for something for my girl."

He looked me over and smiled. "Lucky guess, but does her name begin with B?"

I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair while I smiled like a fucking girl. "Yeah. Bella."

"So what can I do for you Mr...."

"Cullen. But you can call me Edward." I said as I looked through the display case.

"What can I do for you Edward? A necklace? Nice bracelet? What is it that you are looking for?"

******

BPOV

My massage was _so_ good. I was relaxed and my body felt like jello. Edward had lined it up, along with a manicure and pedicure, and....waxing. _I know the last bit was worth it, but can you say ow!_

I made my way back up to the hotel room when I was all finished, refreshed and ready to see my man. There was a note on the bed next to the teal dress we had bought yesterday along with a rose.

_Hey Beautiful! Get dressed and be ready to go by 7pm. I will pick you up and promise _

_you a night of magic! _

_I love you, B!_

_-E_

I looked at the clock and realized it was 5:45pm. I took a quick shower and dressed in the clothes he had picked out. Go figure, no panties again, and with the dress, there really was no need for a bra. It was strapless and had a row of crystals underneath the breast line, and sat a few inches above my knees. I wore my new heals and threw on the necklace he had given me for Christmas.

I put my hair up after it was curled so my 'E' tattoo was visible and did my make up. At 7pm on the dot, there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find Edward standing there in a full tux and a bouquet of red roses in his hand. _Dear Lord, what have I done to be given this Angel in my life? Whatever it was, thank you, thank you, thank you!_

I about died when I seen him. No panties, so no worry of soaking them. _But my thigh was now dripping wet._

He leaned in to kiss me, resting his hand on my hip.

"You look beautiful B." He said as he stared me up and down.

"And you look hot, E." I grabbed the roses and brought them up to my nose to smell. _Could he be any more perfect? I mean really!_

"You ready to go gorgeous?" He held out his hand, which I eagerly took.

"Purse?" I asked. Not really needing one but thought I should ask in case I did.

"Nope, I got everything we need." He patted his pocket. I didn't know what he meant but nodded anyway.

We made our way to the front of the hotel, where a black stretch limo was waiting for us. I looked up at Edward who only nodded that _yes, it was for us._

The driver came out and introduced himself and we were on our way. He drove us down the strip and gave us history on some of the hotels. We stopped in front of Treasure Island and got out.

Edward wasn't answering any questions, so I just went along with it. We stopped in front of the doors that lead into the concert hall.

"Cirque D Soleil, E?" I asked. Totally _not_ his kind of thing to attend but I was so freaking excited.

"Thought you might like it Angel." He said as he kissed my bare shoulder. _Oh he is so getting some of my special treatment tonight!_

I was taken back by yet another thing he remembered me telling him about.

The show was phenomenal. I grew up with the music of the Beatles and it reminded me of my dad.

_'Love'_ was awesome. And the name totally fit our relationship.

Our next stop was at the Stratosphere where we ate at the revolving restaurant. While we ate, I pulled off his tie and unbuttoned the top button.

"Much better." I said as he relaxed a little. _The tux was hot, but this looked more like him._

We ate, and then made our way back to the limo. The driver took us around Vegas and showed us some of the sights he said we wouldn't see by not leaving the strip.

The limo pulled up in front of our hotel again and we made our way up to our room. I had wondered if our night was over, but as soon as we entered the room, I saw the curtains to the balcony flutter motioning that the door was open.

"What's going on E?" _Why did I even ask?_

He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck as he led me onto the balcony. I'm glad he was behind me, because my knees went out and I leaned on him for support when I seen what he had set up. There on the little table was a bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice, two glasses, and my roses from earlier. Candles lined the balcony and I couldn't believe he had arranged all of this for us.

After taking everything in, I turned to look at Edward who was no longer standing behind me.

He was on one knee with a ring box opened holding it out in front of me.

My hand went over my mouth as I felt the tears coming. _Was he really doing this? Oh my GOD!_

He took my other hand, kissed it once as he stared deeply into my eyes. His eyes were wet with tears as were mine. _Yes, he really was doing this._

He cleared his throat before speaking. I could barely contain myself waiting for what he was going to ask. My legs were shaking and I prayed that they held out for just a minute longer.

"B. From the first time I saw you, I knew I had to have you. I wanted you to be mine. _MY_ Bella. I want you. Always. All of you. And all that you have to bring to this relationship. I'm not going to ask you to marry me as I already know your answer and because what I'm going to ask you has so much more meaning to us. I wanted to do this right, and since I couldn't ask your dad, I did the next best thing, and called Jasper to give us his blessing." _Whoa, what? He…called Jasper? To ask for my hand? Oh my God._

The tears were free flowing by this time as I stared into his teary eyes. I grasped his hand harder as he continued.

"B. Bella. Will you be _MY_ Bella forever?" His piercing green eyes bored into mine waiting for my obvious answer.

I nodded as he slipped the ring onto my left finger where it would forever sit, then got up as he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me in the air twirling us in circles. We kissed passionately for several moments sharing our love with one another in the best way we knew how.

"I will _always_ be yours E. Forever. As long as you'll be mine." I asked as I stared into his eyes once more.

"Always. I'm yours B, just as you are mine. I wasn't kidding you when I said I would take you to a chapel here in Vegas. I mean look at us. We're already dressed and everything, but I think it would mean more if we were back home with all friends and family. _Our_ family." _Our family. Oh that, and the fact that Alice would kill us both if she found out that she couldn't plan our wedding._

I could only cry and nod my head at my handsome Edward. _My fiancé._

We held each other for a little longer before toasting with Champagne to our commitment to one another and our life together.

We made love that night three times. We took it slow and let the passion build and build. The emotions I felt when he asked me be his were like nothing I had ever felt.

My Edward.

For life.

******

The rest of our trip in Vegas was spent sight seeing and boozing it up. We made our way out to the Hoover Damn the next day, which was an all day trip, and seen another show. We checked out several bars, and Edward even did an open mic night singing to me.

_Only me. _

Each and every word that he sang hit me harder with the love that we had. Edward was my entire world, and soon we would be joined as one in the best possible way.

When Edward said that he asked Jasper for our blessing, it really hit me. I was more into the moment of him asking for my hand in marriage at the time, but now days later, I couldn't believe that he actually called and asked Jasper. Edward was such a gentleman and wanted to go about things the right way.

Although we talked to everyone daily, we kept our engagement a secret wanting to enjoy it just ourselves for the time being. Edward said that Jasper wasn't allowed to tell anyone, and I knew that he wouldn't. He would want us to share our news with everyone when we got home.

On Sunday, we made our flight home _with winter coats on and all_, and took a taxi back to our apartment, even though Emmett insisted on picking us up. We dropped our stuff off and made our way to the shop where everyone was.

As we walked in the door, hand in hand, I felt a feeling of pride to have Edward holding my hand. I couldn't wait to share our excitement with our family. _Our family_.

We had stopped and gotten a few bottles of champagne on the way to toast the news and made our way in.

Alice tackled us immediately as soon as she seen us. Emmett was working on a piece on Jaspers leg, but from the looks of it was just finishing up, putting saran wrap on it. _Perfect timing_.

After Alice got done mauling us, Rose was next. I made sure to rub her non-existent bump, which she rolled her eyes at before embracing her. _Skinny bitch. Just kidding. Kind of._

"I see you guys have some new art to show us." Alice said motioning towards our necks.

Everyone rolled their eyes at the new tattoos, but we didn't care. We knew what they meant.

Jasper pulled me into a hug, giving me a knowing look, followed by Emmett.

"Bro. I am all for drinking, but champagne? Is there something to celebrate?" Emmett asked, eying up the two bottles that Edward had put up on the counter, followed by several plastic cups.

"Actually Emm there is something to celebrate." Edward said as he popped the cork off of one bottle and gave me a wink.

I held up my hand, which held the 2 kt. Princess cut diamond solitaire. Alice and Rose grabbed each other and squealed like little girls. _God I feel bad for any dogs that were in the neighborhood right about now._ I was pulled from Edward's side by the two screamers and into a big hug as the two jewelry nazi's stared at my new bling.

"Oh my God Bella! My brother has such good taste!" Alice said as she stared at the sparkly. _Why yes Pixie, he sure does._

Jasper clapped Edward on the back and held out his hand for Edward to shake. He looked him in the eye, man to man, and I almost was nervous for my new fiancé.

"Congrats man. I know you'll take good care of her." Jasper said as he picked his words carefully. If I didn't know any better, Jasper was a little choked up and having a hard time holding it together.

Edward shook his hand back and pulled him into a man hug. "Thanks man. You know I will. She's my girl, for Christ sakes."

Emmett jumped onto Edward almost making him fall over. He wrapped his legs around his waist and gave him a kiss on the cheek before Edward pushed him off laughing hysterically.

"I'm so happy Eddie!" Emmett squealed as he pulled Rose into his side. "Babies and weddings! This can't get much better. And now you guys are making it legal and shit! So awesome!" _God bless Emmett and his vocabulary._

"A toast indeed is in order." Alice said as she started to pour glasses.

Rose declined but toasted with water.

Edward pulled me into his side, Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rose were the same way as they held their glasses out.

Edward looked into my eyes as I began to tear up yet again.

"Here's to our future. To my beautiful B, who thank God decided to be mine. Otherwise I would be out a fuck load of money." I nudged him in the ribs as Emmett and Jasper laughed.

"No but seriously B." He turned to look at me clearer. I could tell he had tears in his eyes as well. "You are my everything. My life. And I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. I love you B. I fucking love you, soon to be Mrs. Cullen." _That sounded so damn right._

He pulled me in for a kiss and wiped the tears that had fallen to my cheeks as everyone 'ooh'd' and 'awed' around us. We all clanked our glasses in a toast.

"Here here" Emmett said. "To Eddie and Bella Barbie. May you be just as happy as Rose and I. I speak for everyone when I say we love you both and want nothing but the best for two crazy kids."

Tears flowed again at my big brother bear Emmett speaking from the heart.

"To the future." I said looking into Edward's tear-filled eyes.

"To the future." Everyone else joined in.

_To the future,_ I thought to myself as I looked into the loving eyes of my Edward.

What a blissful future it would be indeed.

**A/N: Lots happened in this chapter. Most of you were right when you reviewed and thought there was a marriage in the works. How'd you like the lemons? I thought they were nice and steamy. **

**Better hear no bitching from you Miis Meyer!!! **

**I have to give a shout out to all the lurkers that have made themselves known over the past few chapters, thank you for coming out of hiding. It wasn't so bad, was it?**

**As for the rest of you, stop by and say hi. I see that you are reading; now you just need to show me some lovin'. I don't want to say it, but I will, I've turned into a review whore and need more to sustain my fix. I'll give you a little clue of the next chapter if you push the button below. **

**Reviews are better than a slap on the ass in front of Granny on a plane, bad looks and all.**

**Push the button and send me your love.**

**Oh, and Last but not least, check out my smutty one shot, "Bella's Great Ideas". It's just a little fun I had when I was bored.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hello again. Thanks as always to the amazing reviewers! There are lots of lurkers that continue to come out of hiding every chapter, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate the comments you leave. Keep up the reviews; Edward and Bella enjoy your smutty minds!**

**From what the reviewers responded with, I would assume that you liked the Vegas trip and Edward and Bella's engagement. Oh and the smut. Gotta love the smut!**

**As those of you who reviewed know, Jake's in this chapter… read to find out what happens.**

**More notes at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own a new pair of brown sketchers that blistered my poor pinky toe! I know I know Edward; yes I'm a pansy! Spank me if you feel I need the punishment for complaining!**

Chapter 20: Headaches

BPOV

The rest of February after we returned from Vegas came and went with nothing to interesting happening. March was no different. The guys were busy around the shop, I was shooting out chapter after chapter of my book, and we were _all_ preparing for the baby. _Yeah, it was Rose and Emmett's baby, but we were all in this together and were going to make sure that it was well taken care of. Especially with Emmett as its dad._ Edward and I hadn't set a date for the wedding yet, I was think more along the lines of a summer ceremony, wanting to wear a light flowing dress. I didn't need or want much and thought out in a park with just our closest friends and Edward's family would be perfect.

And speaking of family, Carlisle and Esme were beside themselves when we made the trip to their house to share our news. A new baby and engagement; Esme was in heaven. She immediately contacted Alice and started planning wedding details, even though I told her we wanted it to be a small intimate affair. _Cullen's and their money, they just don't listen. Oh well, at least she'll take the work off of my shoulders._

After having a major breakdown about my dad not being here to walk me down the isle, Jasper offered, which only made the water works flow stronger thinking of the brother figure he had played throughout my entire life now offering to give my hand away in marriage. Not only did he give Edward his blessing before he asked for my hand, Jasper would be doing my father the honor of stepping in for him and giving his little girl away.

He was the best friend a girl could ask for. _Explain again how I was so fortunate to have Jasper in my life?_

There was no one I would want more than Jasper to give me away to Edward. Charlie and Mama would be so proud of their kids, especially Jasper for taking over Charlie's role that sadly he wouldn't be able to fulfill. After my breakdown talking about Charlie, I had another one realizing that Mama wouldn't be there for the wedding either and that just caused Jasper to wallow with me. _Stupid me for opening my damn mouth and making Jasper think about Mama._

In the end, I knew they would both be watching down on us on our special day giving us their blessings.

My emotions got the best of me as I let myself fall apart time after time, having a pity party for _me_, for the ones I loved most in this world that wouldn't be there for the most important day in _my_ life. I felt selfish for even thinking of myself, knowing that I had the support of Edward's family and our friends, but I still wanted my dad and mama there with me.

Our plan was to wait until the baby was born, as she was due in July. Yes, _she_. Rose and Emmett had found out that they were having a girl, and were planning on naming her Emma Rose, _after her parents_. Rose had gone ape shit on decorating their spare bedroom in preparation and had us all going a little bonkers trying to help them out. _Pregnant Rose was bitchy Rose._

Rose had already been three months along by the time she told us at Christmas. _The skinny bitch hadn't even shown that whole time!_ She was now 6 months pregnant and her baby bump was definitely out of hiding, but she was still a skinny bitch who was one of those women who were _all_ baby.

Rose was Rose. And as much as I loved her, she was a bitch right now. She had cravings for everything, and would make each of us go get them at her beck and call saying it was _'for the baby'_. One night it was pickles and ice cream, the next it was movie theatre popcorn, and she wouldn't settle for the microwave shit, so she had Emmett go to the theatre, and made him explain to the pimple faced kid selling tickets that he was just there for the damn popcorn.

_Pregnant wife was all he had to say. _

Her eyes lit up like the fourth of July when he returned, popcorn in hand. _You'd think she got a new puppy or something with how excited she was._

Even though she could be a little overboard we still loved her, and Emm especially would do anything for his wife.

Emmett recently presented her with the new art Edward had done for him, hoping to soften her up a little. Over his rib cage was a long stem rose with her name underneath. As soon as Emma Rose was born, her name would be added to the other side of the stem. She was so taken back by it that she was actually nice to everyone. _For about a day_.

I blamed it all on the hormones praying that _someday_ we would get her back.

I thought a lot about the fact that my possibilities for having a baby weren't all that great, and found myself crying on more than one occasion about the fact that I would probably never feel a baby growing in _my_ stomach, or send Edward out for the non-stop cravings, or paint a nursery just right. _I would never get my chance to be bitchzella on everyone's Asses._ Edward said we could adopt on countless occasions, but I always told him _that_ was a conversation for another day. Not today.

I still wanted to keep some hope. We still had _some_ hope.

Edward had continued to do open mic nights here and there and I attended every one of them, sitting in the front row, screaming catcalls at him left and right. I wanted him to know how excited I was for him to open up like he had and loved when I could make him blush_. Only I could get him to do it, and it was far and few between, so I took it when I could._ Jasper and Emmett even played with him on occasion, Jasper on guitar, and Emmett on drums. We had our own Cullen family band.

Jasper wasn't a Cullen _yet_, but he would be. _Well Mr. Alice Cullen, that is._

Jasper had mentioned to me that he was looking for a ring for Alice shortly after we returned from Vegas and would be popping the question as soon as he _'manned up and_ _grew some balls'_. His words, not mine. I wasn't surprised when he told me his plans, I knew it would happen, and when he was good and ready he would ask her to be his wife. _And our little family would be whole._

Tonight the six of us going to a Theory of a Deadman concert and I was so excited to see them, as they were my favorite band. Rose, Alice and I were getting ready at our apartment, wanting to do our makeup and hair together and have some girl time. Clothes were thrown about the bedroom and I was sure that Edward was going to throw a shit fit later seeing the mess.

Rose was complaining because nothing fit her baby bump, or beach ball as we called it. _As usual. _ She had only gained 15 pounds and I was almost ready to call the skinny bitch out on all her complaining, but I'm not like that. I couldn't do that to a pregnant lady. _But if she were anybody else…that would be a different story._

"Fuck. I have nothing to wear!" Rose was complaining as she pulled on a black halter that was skintight over her baby bump and barely covered her entire belly. _Thank God for stretch cotton._

"Prego." That was our new nickname for her. "You look hot. Emmett will love it. And look how big your tits got." I knew I could get a smile from that compliment. Rose thought her tits were the best part of her body, and pregnancy _definitely_ had been nice to that area of her body so far.

Alice grabbed her boobs giving them a gentle squeeze as Rose's eyes bugged out her head and we all started laughing at the little Pixie's forwardness. "Seriously, what are you now, a D?"

"Double D actually." We all broke out laughing as Rose blushed at her massive knockers. _And seriously, those fuckers were massive. I think she was maybe a full B to start out with._

She looked great. Pregnancy along with everything else was suiting her nicely. _But then again this is Rose we are talking about who has a day job of being a model. Skinny pregnant bitch!_ She put on a pair of black boots, making Alice bend over and zip them for her, smoothed out her pregnancy jeans and was ready to go.

Alice was the hot little Pixie I knew and loved and wore a spaghetti strap sparkly green tank top showing off all her art and a black mini skirt. She also had on black nylons with black knee high boots and looked hot as hell. _Lucky Jasper._

I looked pretty good if I do say so myself. I had on a pair of silky black dress pants and a deep blue sparkly halter that wrapped around my neck and tied low on my waist leaving my back open. I put on a pair of high black heals that made the outfit complete. A little dressy I know, but we all had our reasons for getting this spruced up.

I curled my hair and decided wear it up, showing off my latest work, knowing it would put a smile on his face for it to be out on display. Jasper had put a pair of angel wings on my shoulder blades last month and I hadn't had a chance to show them off yet. While he was doing the tattoo he reminded me more than once that he had been begging me for 10 years to ink me, and he was finally getting his chance. _Poor guy, I almost felt bad for making him wait so long._ It was worth it though, because I would never have wanted him to ink me _just_ because. What we picked out had meaning behind it and would be a constant reminder of who I was and where I came from. The Angel wings symbolized Mama and Charlie looking down on me, and there was no one better to make it happen than my best friend and brother.

The guys were all in our living room, no doubt getting a buzz while they waited for us. Alice and Rose went out to meet the guys while I was finishing up putting my necklace on, having a hard time getting the clasp to shut. Edward came up behind me and replaced my hands with his as he clasped it shut on the first try. He kissed my 'E' tattoo and let his nose trail along my neck making me shiver in the best possible way. _Kissing my 'E' tattoo had become a daily ritual of his, and I melted each and every time that I felt his lips move over the area that joined me to him permanently._

His arms wrapped around my waist as he groaned touching my bare skin and I could feel his hard on that was pressed against my silk covered ass.

"B. You're so fucking hot, B!" He practically moaned as he peppered my shoulder with wet kisses. I shivered at the tickle of his stubble rubbing against my soft skin, realizing he didn't shave just like I asked him. _Little bit of stubble made for some fun time later on._

"All for you baby. Gotta look good for my _fiancé_ you know." I waved my hand in front of him showing off the sparkly ring. _I learned over the past few months that he loved when I did that shit._

He laughed, bringing my hand up to his face and kissed my ring finger. "You _always_ look good B. And your _fiancé_ appreciates the effort." He rocked himself into me, letting me know how _much_ my efforts were _appreciated._

There was really no good reason that the three of us girls were getting so dressed up, especially for a concert like this, but the reaction I just got from Edward made it all worth while. _Little did he know that he would be carrying me home later with these heals I wore for him. _ I would remember to dress up more often, just so I could hear and feel his reaction.

I turned around finally looking at my man. He was wearing a pair of worn in blue jeans, black docs, a gray t-shirt with a long sleeved button up white and blue plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows. I got on my tiptoes, wrapped my arms behind his head and kissed him as he pulled me closer deepening the kiss, letting our tongues dance together in my mouth.

And that's when I felt it.

_Ugh! Not now. Please don't let me puke in his mouth, that's so disgusting!_

My stomach began to churn midway through the kiss, and I ran to the bathroom as I gave him a '_sorry'_ glance as I moved. I hadn't felt good the last few days and blamed my nauseas stomach on being sick. Jasper was just getting over the flu and the fucker gave it to me. _Damn him and his icky germs!_

"You feeling ok, B?" Edward asked as he rubbed my neck as I flushed the remains of my supper down the toilet. His hands on my bare skin were comforting and I found myself feeling better instantly. _It was either his hands or the fact that I just purged everything from my stomach. Not sure which, but I'll go with his hands on me as the winner._

I washed my mouth out with Listerine and nodded. "Jasper gave me the fucking flu. Go kick his ass for me will you?" I gave myself a once over in the mirror, smiling at him so he knew I was joking.

"All you have to do is ask you know." He joked, giving me his famous crooked smile. _He really would if I was serious._

"No really I'm fine. I think I'll be sober cab tonight though. Don't want to chance it. I have a fucking headache too." He nodded and grabbed me some Tylenol then placed the bottle in his pants pocket. "Good thinking." I gave him a smile and kissed him on the cheek.

We made our way out to the living room where everyone else was waiting, and to say that Emmett was ecstatic that I was sober cab was an understatement. He threw me the keys to the jeep while he took a shot of Jag. _I don't think it was his first and it was probably a really good idea that he wasn't driving his pregnant wife or us around this evening._

"Put a scratch on it and I'll beat lover boys ass!" Emmett joked as Rose hit him in the stomach and Edward flicked him off.

"Emmett, you wouldn't hurt my baby." I teased, leaning in close to his ear so he could hear me clearly. "Cause you know then _I'd_ come after _you_." I patted his chest lightly, giving him a wink while I shook his keys in front of his face.

He nodded putting his head down like he was a bad little boy. "True." Defeated. _Score another for Bella_.

Everyone broke out laughing and we made our way down to the parking garage and to Emmett's jeep. Edward and I got in the front, Alice and Jasper in the middle seat, Rose and Emmett in the back. It probably worked out better this way for Prego so she could stretch out. _And if she were sitting all the way in the back, I wouldn't have to hear her constant bitching and complaining. I could just drown her out with the radio. Good planning Bella!_

We drove to the concert hall and an hour later got in line, tickets in hand to find our seats. Edward went with Jasper and Emmett to get some drinks while the three of us waited in line discussing the baby. _As usual. Our lives consisted of talking about babies and weddings. Weddings and babies. Nothing more, nothing less._

We were in the middle of discussing Alice's plan to pierce the baby's nose, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a familiar body. I did a double take to make sure my eyes weren't betraying me and yup, it was Jake. _Of course, this is just how my life goes. If it isn't James in the picture trying to stir up some type of trouble, then it's Jake that steps in to ruin the day._

I hadn't seen him in years, back in Chicago was the last time, and here he was, so close to my new home. Close to me. _Augh_!! He looked eerily the same, only his long black hair was cut short framing his chiseled face. It had been a long time, but oddly enough, nothing else had changed about his appearance. _This could make for a very interesting night to say the least._

"So what do you think Bella?" Alice had asked me a question and I had no clue what the fuck she was talking about. She was bouncing from one foot to the other, crazy caffeine fixed smile across her little face, so I knew it must have been something good.

"Oh yeah, whatever." I answered as I watched Jake laughing at someone and drinking a beer. He didn't appear to have seen me, was most likely just here for the concert. But what was he doing _here_, to watch the concert?

"Bella? What's wrong? You're totally not here. You just agreed that our baby needed its lip pierced too." Rose said with a concerned look, hands on her hips.

"Sorry guys. I guess I dazed out. I got a fucking headache. Perfect night for a concert huh?" I tried to play it off but they weren't buying it.

"Spill it Bella. You aren't a good liar. You should know that by now sweetie." Alice grabbed my hand rubbing circles over my knuckles.

"Spill what?" Edward came up behind me, holding out a bottle of water for me to take, as I obviously wasn't drinking.

"Something's got Bella's attention." Rose said glaring at me like she was going to scare the truth out of me. _Skinny bitch_.

"It's nothing. Seriously. No need to freak out." I said as I took a drink from my water looking down, not wanting to deal with everyone's stares.

"Freak out about what?" Jasper asked handing Alice a beer. _I'm not hiding anything anymore, remember? Grow some balls and let them know so it's out there just in case something happens._

_Wait, nothing is going to happen, why was I thinking this way?_

_Oh, right. This is Jake we are talking about here. Something could very well happen with him and I in the same building._

"Jake." I said, not wanting to look at Jasper or Edward. _See? I have big girl pants, and they fit me well. I wasn't going to hold in this information, not after what happened last time._

"Jake what?" Jasper asked. His tone was beginning to darken. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist clenching the skin there waiting for more answers as his piercing green eyes bored into mine.

"He's here, but no need to freak the fuck out. I seen him half way across the room and didn't want to hide it from you guys, seeing that last time I went that route, it didn't end well for anyone." I said to both of them as I grabbed Edward's hand and gave it a firm squeeze.

"B. Are you sure? I mean I trust your judgment and all, but if he really is here, I don't think I can… I mean I _know_ I won't be able to control myself around him." Edward was turning into the angry Edward, and I just wanted to have fun tonight. I didn't want him to get in _another_ fight to defend my honor.

I wrapped my arms around him pulling myself in close to his chest and kissed his lips tasting beer and the sweet tastes of Edward himself.

"Everything's fine E. Don't worry about it. Lets just go and enjoy ourselves and forget that he's even here. It's a big place, we won't even run into one another." I said as I grabbed his hand and pulling him forward as the line started to move. "Jazz, really it's fine." I gave him a nod and he relaxed. _A little._

We made our way in and took our seats waiting for the concert to start. Jet Black Stare was the opening act, and Edward and I sang along to _'Poster Princess'_ and _'Rearview Mirror'_ screaming the entire time, excited to know the opening band that was still unheard of by most people. Everyone else around us looked at us like we were crazy, not knowing the band, so we sang louder so they could hear the lyrics and to piss them off a little. _Poor ears that had to listen to my rancid voice._ Theory of a Deadman took the stage and the crowd went wild.

They started out with _'Bad Girlfriend'_, which all three of us girls yelled out too, then went into _'Meant To Be_', and next was _'Hate My Life'_. My head was killing me more and more as the night went on from the music and from all the screaming I had done, and I needed to get some air. As much as I wanted to hear the music, I had to get out of there before I really became ill.

"E. I gotta get some air. I'll be back in a few minutes." I gave him a quick kiss and started to make my way down the isle when I felt someone grab my hand and pull me back.

I instinctively jerked it away ready for a fight as I looked back and noticed it was Edward and gave him an apologetic smile. _I really did think that it was just some douche trying to get their paws on me like so many times before._

"You think I'm letting you leave alone? Be real B." He yelled in my ear so that I could hear him over the crowd. My face scrunched up as the pain grew worse from his voice. _About the only time I'll say his voice made me physically ill._

The yelling only made it worse, so I nodded and kept moving towards the exit.

We made our way out of the concert and into the hallway where the music was muffled and a lot quieter. I leaned up against the glass pain that was cool to the touch enjoying the feeling over my sweaty body. I leaned my head back and slid myself to the floor bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. Edward bent down next to me and ran his hands over my face, concern clear across his face.

"B? You ok?" He asked as he rubbed my shoulders. "You don't look so good, baby."

"Headache. Fucking kills." I blindly reached for his pocket to pull out the bottle of pills but my hand was so shaky that I wasn't able to pick them up. He grabbed my hand and pulled it away as he got them out for me.

"I'll go get you some water. Be right back." He kissed my forehead and jogged off towards the concessions.

I closed my eyes and listened to the music, humming along with _'Me and My Girl'_, smiling to myself at the lyrics as I sang them in my head. I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard giggles and opened my eyes to find some girl in the corner of the hallway getting mauled by a large guy. _Well not really mauled but major make-out session_.

I cleared my throat, making my presence known so they would realize they weren't alone. I knew it was a bitch thing to do, but my head was killing me and I didn't need to listen to that shit on top of everything else.

The dark black haired Native American girl glared, shooting daggers at me for breaking up their little spit swapping session. _Whatever._

The guy looked over next, and met my eyes. _Jake._

I pulled myself up from the floor looking for Edward while I heard my name being called from the opposite direction.

"Bells? Is that you?" _Fuck me_.

I looked over to see Jake standing next to me now, bimbo on his hip.

"You know her?" Skank girl sneered at me as she felt Jake up. Bitch. _No need to be such a cunt_.

"Leah, why don't you go back in. Bells is an old friend. I haven't seen her in years." Jake said as he kissed the girl passionately on the neck, making her moan. _Ew_!

"Whatever." She said as she walked away and left us alone.

Where was Edward with that water?

"Jake." I greeted him with a disgusted face.

He tried to pull me into a hug, but I pushed away. "What the fuck Bells? Can't an old friend hug another? It's good to see you by the way." He said as took in my body. I self-consciously crossed my arms over my braless chest. "You look good."

"You're such a pervert Jake." I said taking a step back allowing more space between us. "What do you want? I believe _Leah_ is waiting for you."

"I just wanted to say hi, and see what you've been up to. I haven't seen you in years." He took a step forward and I took another back. "Quit backing away from me. What are you so afraid of?"

"You. What the fuck do you think?" I said throwing my hands in the air, ignoring the throbbing in my head as my adrenaline kicked in with Jake so close to me.

"Why would you be afraid of me?" He glared at me as he spoke. I stared into his eyes. He really didn't know why I would be so damn afraid of him.

"You _really_ don't know do you?" I asked. He just stared at me with a blank expression. "Wow." I blew out a deep breath and held my head in my hands. If my head could hurt worse, it was. Jake wasn't helping. _Did he ever really help the pain? No. He __**made**__ the pain._

"No I really don't." He said. I looked at his eyes. He was glaring at me now, waiting for an answer.

"You don't remember breaking my arm, or throwing me into a coffee table? The hundreds of stitches I had to have?" I screamed at him in fury. I could tell that he was getting upset with me for bringing this shit up, but he wouldn't hurt me here. There were to many people as witnesses. "And I bet you forgot that Jasper just happened to beat your ass for all that shit too, right?"

His eyes turned angry as he crossed his arms over his chest puffing it out as if to prove that he was a _big man_ or something.

"I _never_ hurt you Bells. You have a wild imagination." He said through tight lips. A determined look in his eyes, which said _'don't fuck with me'._

"Oh do I Jake?" I turned around so that my bare back was now in front of him to look at all the scars that were present. "_Those_ just magically appeared huh?"

"Whatever Bells. You're blowing things way out of proportion. I just wanted to say hi. That's it. Not go into all this shit with you." Fucker was trying to change the subject and act like what; we would be having this conversation later? _I don't think so_. "I see you finally let Jasper ink you. I know that's his work on your shoulders." Jake held out his hand as if wanting to touch my shoulders and I backed away yet again.

"What's it to you Jake?" I asked my voice laced with venom as I stood my ground, body tense and wanting him to just move the fuck along and leave me alone.

"Fucking calm down Bells. I was just admiring his work. That's not all you had done though I see." He was staring at my chest while he licked his bottom lip hungrily. _The nauseas feeling was getting worse with every word he spoke._

I slapped him hard across the face for looking at me like I was a piece of meet only minutes after making out with some skank. I felt disgusted that he would even _look_ at me like that in the first place. I wasn't his to look at like that. I raised my hand to slap him again, but he caught it mid-air stopping me, holding me to him.

"Don't. Fucking. Touch. ME!" He yelled. His voice laced with anger.

"Get your hands off her fucker!" Edward came up from behind me and pushed Jake hard in the chest making him take a step back from us. Jake released my hand and I put myself behind Edward, internally smiling, knowing that I didn't initially want Fightward to make an appearance, but after Jake looked at my tits, my feelings had changed.

"What the fuck! Cool it man. She hit me, not the other way around." Jake said as he rubbed his cheek. _In the words of Edward, Pansy!_

I smiled at the pain I caused. I may be little, but I know how to hurt someone if I really had to.

"B? Who's the fool?" Edward asked as he kissed my cheek. He already knew the answer to that question but wanted to play a little. Or maybe he wanted a formal introduction to the piece of shit in front of us.

"Jake, this is Edward. Edward," I said looking into his eyes. "_this_ is Jake." I kept my eyes on Jake, as did Edward and watched as a little fear set into him as he took in Edward's body that towered over his own.

Edward grew tense and his hands clenched into tight fists. I put my hand on his arm to try and relax him knowing that it usually helped. He took a deep breath and looked at me, his lips turning into a small smile.

I'm pretty sure that he was thinking he was going to get to punch him or something, and he was probably right. I wouldn't stop that shit from happening. _I would probably go get a tub of popcorn and take a seat to watch the show if we were being completely honest._

Edward handed me the bottle of water and several pills and I swallowed them down rubbing at my temples, while he rubbed my back, showing Jake that I was with him. _A little territorial, but I was quite all right with that. Hell, he could piss on my leg to show that I was his, and I would be completely fine with it at this point._

"Why'd you hit him B? Not that I'm complaining…" Edward kissed my forehead as I took another drink then put the cap on the bottle.

"Because the fucking perv was commenting on my tits!" Edward's stare was menacing as he turned from me to meet Jake's eyes_. Shit. I should've lied._

Edward pushed Jake in the chest again and he landed over a trashcan making it tip over with a loud thud. He picked himself up ready to go at Edward when I stepped in the middle of them before things got out of hand. _I really wasn't in the mood to be bailing Edward out of jail tonight even if I did want to see him kick the shit out of my ex._

"Stop E." I said, looking him square in the eyes so that he knew I wasn't joking around. After I got his attention and calmed down, he nodded and kissed my forehead, as Jake growled under his breathe.

Edward unbuttoned his top shirt and slid it off his arms as he held it open for me, never taking his eyes off of Jake. I slipped it on buttoning the buttons, drowning in its size. _The plus side was that I now smelled like Edward and was completely covered from the fucking pervert._

"Problem fixed." He smiled and gave me a quick glance before glaring at Jake again.

"Thank you, baby." I kissed his chest as I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned into him while I stared at Jake, who looked pissed at my interactions with Edward.

"You're a lucky fucker you know that?" Edward said pointing a finger at Jake who looked a little scared. _You should be scared, fucker!_ "If B wasn't here right now, you'd pay for what you did to her!"

Edward grew tense again, and I could tell that he was doing everything possible not to loose his cool and pummel him. I kissed his chest again trying to relax him a little. He wrapped his arm around mine protectively, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

"Whatever man. Go fuck off. I wasn't going to hurt her." Jake said as he rolled his eyes, arms crossed over his chest, trying to act all macho.

"Yeah, not like you did before, right?" Edward asked while Jake stared back with confused eyes. "Oh yeah, I know all about what happened fucker. You're damn lucky you're still walking right now."

Jake looked ready to fight, as did Edward. I had no doubt in my mind that I was going to be thrown to the side at any second if this continued.

"What are you even doing here Jake?" I tried to change the subject so security wasn't called.

"I just got transferred to Jersey a few weeks ago. My girlfriend Leah and I just bought a place. I didn't mean to cause any trouble, seriously Bells. Just wanted to say hi." His tone was light and I could tell that Edward intimidated him, and that he wasn't going to push anything further.

"Well, you said what you had to say, and now it's time for you to leave." I said glaring him down.

He nodded, giving me one last look and walked away. Edward's eyes never left his form until he was far enough away where he wasn't going to turn around.

Jasper and Emmett, Rose and Alice came out to see why we hadn't returned. Jasper seen Jake walking away and gave me a questioning glance as his body stiffened. My head was throbbing and I leaned heavier into Edward's chest unable to form a coherent thought.

I listened as Edward told the rest about Jake grabbing me after I had slapped him. Emmett high fived me, and Jasper relaxed a little at my bravery and because he knew that I wasn't hurt. The show was almost over. Sadly we had missed most of the second part because of fucking Jake. Edward wrapped my arms around his neck from behind and lifted me so I was on his back.

"You guys mind if we head home? B's got a massive headache and I don't think she needs to hear the pounding music right now." Edward explained as I leaned my head on his shoulder with my eyes shut trying to focus on not throwing up again.

Everyone agreed and we made our way out to the jeep. Edward drove, as he was the most sober out of everyone, while I rode shotgun falling asleep against the cool glass.

Edward carried me up to the apartment bridal style and undressed me, leaving me in his plaid shirt.

The last thing I felt before drifting off was Edward kissing my forehead and holding me tight to his chest, humming my favorite songs.

****

The next morning I woke to find Edward's side of the bed empty. My head felt ten times better than last night and I made my way into the living room in only Edward's shirt, which was hanging off my shoulder. I found Edward in a pair of boxers watching cartoons lying on the couch.

I joined him on the couch and rested my head in his lap, reveling in the feel of his body touching mine.

He ran his fingers through my hair as I moaned at his touch. _The things he could do with those magic fingers of his…_

"How you feeling B?" He asked as he continued to massage my scalp.

"So much better. Thanks for taking care of me last night. I think the worst is over. I feel nothing like I did a few hours ago." I kissed his knee and wrapped my arm around his thigh.

"Have you had headaches like that before?" His voice was full of concern, but I'd dealt with migraines all my life. This was nothing new for me. And having the flu on top of things wasn't helping.

"Yeah from time to time. I'm sure its just part of the flu though. No need to worry. I'm feeling fine starving though. What are you making me for breakfast?" I sat up and kissed his lips and ran my hand through his silky locks.

"Well seeing that it's almost lunch, why don't we shower and head out for something?"

I nodded and grabbed his hand to pull him up with me. We showered together, dressed and made our way out to lunch.

The rest of the day went by as usual. We went into the shop, Edward had several appointments and I kept busy with Alice and Rose deciding on a date for the baby shower. Nothing further was brought up about Jake or last night.

He wasn't even in the city, and he walked away. I wasn't worried. From the way he scurried away from Edward, I didn't think there was anything to worry about.

Ben hadn't given us any word on James in months. I stuck to my motto that no news was good news.

Life was finally starting to take shape for us, and I couldn't wait to see what the future held.

**A/N: Ahem… so the prologue is the next chapter… It's written, just needs to be tweaked a little. **

**I know that I usually give out a fare share of lemons, but they really didn't belong in this chapter. Sorry. Yell at me if you wish. I got more coming, I promise!**

**Reviewers get a sneak peak at Chapter 21, so push the button because I can assure you that you're gonna want a taste of what's to come. It's pretty much the highlight of the story.**

*****VERY IMPORTANT*** Now that I got your attention, just wanted to let you know about the one shot that I wrote called 'Bella's Great Ideas'. It's full of smutty goodness, so please take a look at it AFTER you're done reviewing 'Never Again'. I would really like to see what my readers think of other things I've written. I thought it was pretty funny…so now it's up to you guys to tell me if I'm crazy or if it's any good.**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Ok, here it is. *Tingles running up my arms* **

**I wish you all good luck while reading… might want to grab your tissues. Edward said that he'd borrow you some of his, but they are all used up.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the Halloween candy that should be passed out to the trick-or-treaters here in a few days, but instead my husband ate.**

Chapter 21: Never Again

BPOV

"Oh and get me some chocolate covered peanuts to, Emmy!" Rose had her pregnant ass plopped on the couch out front in the shop and was insisting that Emmett go out and get her the most recent belly craving.

_Right now it's chocolate covered peanuts, later it's gonna be a Caribou coffee. And knowing Emm, he'll run at the drop of a hat to get it for her._

Emmett gave her a kiss on the cheek and was on his way to meet Prego's needs. Emmett was going to be such a great daddy. He took care of Rose in every way possible wanting to make sure that she was happy and comfortable and that little Emma Rose was getting whatever she wanted. _That little girl is going to have him wrapped around her little finger in no time. _ Emmett surprised Rose by painting the nursery while she visited a friend last week and did some monkey artwork on the walls that she melted over. _Rose let is slip a time or two that she refers to Emmett as her 'monkey man' in the bedroom, and he thought it would be funny to incorporate that into their little girls bedroom. This is Emmett, need I remind you?_

Rose was now a little over 7 months pregnant and the beach ball _also known as her stomach_ was filling out nicely. It was the beginning of May, and winter was finally behind us. The ground was starting to turn green again, and I welcomed the fresh air that spring had to offer.

Alice, Esme and I had thrown a small shower for Rose yesterday, and we were all shot. Between the organizing and the actual party, I had no energy left for anything else in my own life. I was physically burned out from Rosalie and her needy belly.

There were several times in the last month or so that I felt dizzy and short of breath, but I knew I was running on empty with everything that was going on. Between Rose, the baby, the shop, wedding plans, and working on my book; I was spent.

As much as we all loved Rose, she was the worst pregnant lady in the world, and we wanted our old friend back. She could be a bitch at times, but usually she was great.

She hadn't done any modeling shoots in months, and was left to nag us daily, as I continued to work on my book, and the rest of the guys tried to run their shop. _She wasn't the typical shop girl that some guys like to have around for good looks and smiles._

Jasper had finally _'manned up and grew some balls'_ and popped the question a few nights ago. He and Alice were riding high on cloud nine, sappy smiles across their faces and all. We were all so excited for the happy couple, knowing that there were now two weddings in the works. Carlisle and Esme were overwhelmed with excitement, mostly Esme as now she had two weddings she could plan. We knew they were happy for us all, and the adventures that were to come. Alice and Jasper getting engaged was the icing on the cake we were all waiting for.

Jasper and Alice had decided on a New Years Eve wedding. This year it fell on a Friday night, and they wanted to do an evening ceremony, and a party after to bring in the New Year with everyone. Even though Alice had only been engaged for a matter of _maybe_ 72 hours, she already planned out the whole affair.

Every. Single. Detail.

Our wedding was set for late August. We were having a small ceremony in Central Park, inviting only our close friends, Esme and Carlisle. That's just how we wanted it. Small and intimate. And of course we would have a party afterwards so that Carlisle and Esme could invite their friends and co-workers, which Edward was really excited for.

Edward didn't care much about the details of the wedding, but said that he wanted me to ride up in a horse drawn carriage, and I melted in the thought, remembering our first date.

I was starting to count down the days to the wedding and when I would officially be Mrs. Edward Cullen.

_Seriously, that has such a nice ring to it, doesn't it?_

I couldn't wait for my Cullen tattoo. Edward had asked me about it a few weeks ago; to see if it was something I was interested in getting. _Are you kidding me? Of course I was interested_. The smile he wore didn't leave his face for days when I told him that I had been thinking about it pretty much since we met. _I wasn't lying. The first time I seen his, I fantasized about where mine would go._

Edward had even gotten me a smaller size of his _'Cullen'_ sweatshirt with the crest on it, saying that he thought I would like one in my own size. But to be honest, I still wore his most of the time, loving the way it smelled like him, and loving wearing anything that was his. He noticed the way I always smelled his clothes, and started spraying my sweatshirt with his cologne so I would start wearing it more. _God bless the man._

Alice was in full planning mode, and even though we wanted to keep it small, she had other ideas. Alice helped me pick out my dress, and gave me _suggestions_ of what Rose and her should wear. _And by suggestions, I mean she picked the exact dress and color._ They were my bridesmaids, and Emmett and Alex would be Edward's groomsmen. Jasper would of course be walking me down the isle. Little Emma Rose was going to be our honorary flower girl, even though she would only be about a month old. We picked her out a fluffy white dress with lots of lace and layers of tool.

I couldn't wait to become a Cullen. Not much was going to change in reality, we already lived with each other and shared a bed, but just the thought of permanently being locked with Edward for the rest of our lives was what I was looking for. We were in the process of getting my name put on the shop, and his on a few things of mine for liability purposes and we were good to go.

We were ready for this and now the wait was on.

Life was really starting to take shape over the last few months as the drama settled down. Lately I found myself reflecting over the last year a lot. With the baby and the weddings to come, I felt my head spinning with everything that had happened.

Only a year ago, Jasper and I were still in Chicago, working on my book tour and not sure what we wanted to do when it was all over. And then we moved, and I met Edward. And then the James thing happened, and Mama died. There was just so many up and downs, I couldn't wait for some normalcy in my life.

I was ready to take the next step with Edward and move forward in life.

Edward had been playing around with the open mic nights more and more and Jasper and Emmett would play along with him. They were starting to make a name for themselves with a lot of the locals in town and the three of us girls went on a nightly basis to support our men and make sure the cougars and teenagers that snuck into the bars kept their paws off of them.

Literally the Cullen family band. _I gave them shit left and right for being like the Partridge family._

They were getting pretty good and were even starting to write some of their own music. Edward had talked about getting some studio time and trying to put together a CD, but said that he was only thinking about it. I think he was still too nervous to have to many people here this personal side of him.

******

It was late Friday night and I was psyched up on caffeine, drinking my 3rd pot of coffee of the night. Edward was over at Emmett's working on some new music; Rose and Alice were having a movie night at Alice's, while Jasper was sleeping. He had a cold and hadn't been feeling well for days. _The guys gave him shit for being a pansy, but it didn't last long seeing as how they all know what it's like to be sick and what shit you feel like._

I didn't go to the movie night as I was really inspired and was pumping out chapter after chapter of my book. It was almost finished and I was proud of myself for all the energy I had put into it. No one was allowed to read it yet as I wasn't ready for any negative comments with my unfinished work. I figured when it was finished they could critique it and tell me how bad it sucked. _Well hopefully not, but you never know. I have been known to write piles of shit before. Those are the one that have been burned so no one could use them against me._

I had a craving and it was bad. I couldn't think of anything else and found myself writing about the damn shit, almost tasting it I was salivating so horribly. I knew I shouldn't have gone out by myself but I didn't want to bother anyone, especially at one in the morning on a Friday night. Jasper was sleeping, and Edward was with Emmett and I didn't want to bother Prego or Tink. _At this stage in the game, you didn't bother prego for anything, not knowing when she was going to snap or not._

I needed some ice cream, and the store down the block was open all night. _Yay me for living in a city that never sleeps! _ They had the best chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and I _had_ to have it. I don't know what possessed me, but after watching Rose get whatever she wanted for the past couple of months, I felt that the ice cream was calling my name and I _needed_ it.

I grabbed my cell and left a note on the counter letting Edward know where I was going in case he came back in the 10 minutes I planned to be gone, and walked down to the corner. It was really dark out tonight, but no one was out but me. It was almost peaceful as it was so quiet. And the May weather had just the perfect breeze.

I grabbed my ice cream _secretly wanting to start eating it right there in the store_ and made my way up to the check out. I thanked the cashier and grabbed my quart and started towards home. _The faster I get home, the faster I get into that tub of creamy deliciousness that's been calling my name all night!_

As I walked, I could feel someone behind me. At first I didn't think anything of it, probably psyching myself out for no good reason. It was just my imagination playing games with me.

But as I kept walking I realized it wasn't my imagination.

My heart rate picked up, my palms started to sweat as I tried to make my feet move faster with anxiety creeping in with who was behind me.

I heard the clicking of their shoes and the loudness of their breathing. There were no streetlights and it was dark, but I could see shadows.

I was being followed.

I started to walk faster realizing that I wasn't just paranoid, there really was someone following me. The faster I walked, the faster the footsteps got. I began to panic, knowing that I had put myself in a very dangerous situation. _I should never have gone out by myself! What was I thinking_? _How hard would it have been to go up and get Edward or Emmett to take a walk?_ God I was so stupid!

I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Edward's number praying to God he would pick up as I kept moving as fast as my legs allowed. At least he would know where I was if something happened, which by the feeling in the pit of my stomach, there was _definitely_ something about to happen. My fingers were clammy; shaking with every button I pushed, knowing that someone was indeed behind me and that we were all alone.

As my shaky thumb pushed send, I felt arms wrap around my waist, fingers digging deep into my hips, pulling me with force into the dark alley. I cried out, dropping my bag and cell phone on the sidewalk as a large hand clamped over my mouth to silence my voice as my attacker pulled me further into the darkness. I tried to kick my legs and shift myself out of his grasp but he was too strong, and I wasn't going anywhere.

My back was too my attacker and I couldn't see who it was, making my entire body trembled not knowing who it was or what they were going to do to me. I hit my head back against him, hoping that if I hurt him, he would release me, but I only made contact with something hard, his chest. He was tall and I did no damage.

Fuck.

This was bad.

This was really bad.

I was thrown hard against the brick wall of my apartment building, knocking the wind out of me. As I tried to catch my breath, I looked up to meet _his_ eyes. I felt myself backing up into the building wall, obviously unable to go any further, but so terrified I was willing to try. His eyes glared back at me, full of revulsion and disgust.

My breathing picked up as my entire body started to shudder in fear of what was happening and who was standing in front of me.

I started crying and yelling, hoping someone could hear me. I was almost home, and everyone that I knew was so close, yet so far away.

I was hit hard in the face as he attempted to silence me, but the blow only made me shriek louder from the pain that was inflicted. My face stung from the hit and tears formed in my eyes from the pulsating ache in my cheek.

He kneeled down in front of me and slapped me across the face before clamping his hand over my mouth, which silenced my cries. I bit down on his hand with everything that I had and was hit again, this time in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me making it hard to breathe.

"Shut the fuck up!" He yelled as he grabbed my arms and shook me to get me to look at him. When I didn't look up, I was hit again, instinctively causing me to cry again in pain.

"No!" I tried to scream from under his hand, begging my eyes to be wrong. _He couldn't be here. This wasn't possible. Ben said that it was over._ His hand muffled my voice barely making it audible.

"You _asked_ for this Isabella!" He screamed as he shook me, my head making contact with the brick wall several times, causing his face to go fuzzy. My breath was becoming shorter and I was having a hard time sucking in enough air. I think I was having a panic attack.

My nightmare was coming true. _Why was he doing this? Why couldn't he just leave me alone? He was supposed to be in prison. What the fuck was going on?_ A thousand questions made there way in to my head and I had a hard time concentrating on them as my body throbbed in pain.

"James! Please! Please stop!" His hand muffled my words again. I was confused, disoriented and couldn't contemplate how he was standing in front of me at this very moment. "You're supposed to be in prison!" I yelled as his hand moved to my neck allowing me to take a deep breath and swallow back the small amount of blood in my mouth.

I looked at his face in the dim light. He was wearing street clothes and his hair was back in its usual ponytail. If he had escaped, he wouldn't have normal clothes on, right?

"Not everything is as it seems Isabella. Nice try though, I give you an E for effort." He pushed my head roughly to the side and ran his dirty finger down my neck. "Although I see you already got an '_E'_. Stupid little slut!"

I felt his grimy hands run themselves up my thighs inching closer to my zipper as his nose skimmed my hair and his breathing picked up. I heard him moaning at the contact he had with my body and felt physically ill.

"Please, please don't do this! Don't you think you've put me through enough James?" I begged, as tears streamed down my cheeks and his hands continued to touch me in ways only Edward was allowed.

My heart was beating a mile a minute and I was becoming short of breath as I continued to panic with every move he made. I was becoming dizzier by the minute and prayed that I didn't faint.

Pain shot through my neck as I was struck again. My body was pulsating with insurmountable pain. "Shut your mouth, you stupid bitch! No one's hear to protect you this time are they Isabella?" His voice was laced with venom as he continued to stare at my body like he used to. _Nothing_ good came from that stare.

He wrapped his hands around my arms tighter than he ever had before forcing me not to move. I closed my eyes not wanting to see him, praying this was all just a dream. _This is just a nightmare that I will soon wake from, and Edward will kiss me and make it all better._

"Look at me you filthy whore! Look at me!" James was screaming in my face, the pain worsening in my head as his face and the alley became a complete blur.

I looked up at him blinking my eyes, trying to focus and seen the fire in his eyes telling me that he was not in the best mental state of mind.

"I'm begging you, please just let me go! Please don't do this James. It doesn't have to be this way." Reason and James weren't two things that went well together but I couldn't just give up. Not this time. I didn't want to go through this again. I _couldn't_ go through this again.

"It doesn't have to be this way? Are you fucking kidding me? You're _my_ property Isabella. I've been _trying_ to make you see that for years. But you're just to damn stubborn to see what's right in front of you. You always were stubborn. Maybe you'll start wising up. I can _make_ you wise up if that's what you need." His eyes were crazed looking as he smiled at the pain he was inflicting on me.

"What do you want James?" I barely squeaked it out through the tears, my body trembling in fear knowing exactly what he hunted. _Me._

"I want _you,_ Isabella. That's all I've ever wanted. I'll _show_ you we're meant to be together. You'll see. I'll _make_ you see." His hold never loosened and my arms were growing numb with the lack of blood flow.

He let go of my right arm, his hold on my left arm tightening so I couldn't move. His free hand went for my zipper again, and as he pulled it down, I kneed him in the sack. I hit with all my strength as he fell to his knees and his grasp on my arm loosened enough for me to get away. I got to my feet and tried to run.

I only made it a few feet before I felt him pull at my ankle tripping me, as I fell flat on my face to the hard cement. He dragged me to him and slammed my body against his own.

"You are going to pay for that Isabella!" He turned me so I was facing him and grabbed my throat chocking me. I could barely breath, and could only whisper begging for him to let me go. "You're going to pay for _everything_ you have ever put me through."

I pushed against him with all my strength, but little by little my energy was running out, his hand against my throat to tight. I couldn't breath and the lack of oxygen was starting to take affect.

"Where's your boys now Bella?" He laughed at me, tightening his fingers over my throat. "I'm going to make you pay for every time you sicked your dogs on me. It was _you_! _You're_ the reason I was in jail. _You're_ the reason for all of this!" He yelled shaking me with force. "_You_ brought this all on yourself, and now _you_ are going to pay."

I tried to pull away from him again with no luck. I tried to kick him in the crotch, but he caught my knee mid air and pushed it back down. I felt a searing pain in my ribs and the hold he had on my neck loosened. I gasped for breath while I could, sucking it in greedily. I couldn't help but cry. Cry in pain, every inch of my body was throbbing. But most of all cry because I was petrified of this man.

His voice became muffled and I was becoming incoherent. I could feel something warm seeping into my eyes, and closed them so I wouldn't have to see his face any longer.

I felt my shirt ripping under his hands and him feeling my chest. The sound of the fabric ripping was deafening. My entire body was trembling as his hands touched me. It hurt, I was sobbing with pain, but new the sooner he did it, the sooner he would leave. All I wanted him to do was leave. I thought that he was never coming back. I was sure of it.

And here I was, feet from my home, my safety, and felt like I was being killed slowly.

He kissed my lips, and down along my now exposed collarbone before making his way to my chest as I shivered at his contact.

I started to lose consciousness, feeling every bit of pain he was inflicting but unable to do anything about it.

James was too big and strong compared to me, and I had nothing left in me. My mind was hazy; it took every ounce of strength to not faint. I didn't want to even think about what he would do to me if I passed out and couldn't fight, even if it was a weak fight.

I prayed to myself that he would just take what he wanted and leave.

I prayed for Edward to come find me.

I prayed for this all to be just a bad dream and that I would wake up in Edwards loving arms.

I love you Edward. I pray you find me soon. I'm so sorry Angel.

I began to feel numb as James continued to assault my body. I heard his belt buckle coming undone and I knew that the end was near. With my eyes closed, I leaned my throbbing head against the building and waited for it to be over.

Edward would find me when it was all over. If I made it, he would make everything ok.

I swore to myself this would never again happen. And here I was, back where it all started.

I felt him going for my pants again and new it was almost over.

I kept my eyes shut and waited.

EPOV

It was late Friday night and Emmett and I were just finishing up on a new piece of music that we'd been working on. I was trying to get some of the last notes down and was having trouble.

Bella had said that she wanted to work on her book tonight. The last couple of days she had been really pumping out the chapters, and I didn't want to bother her. I figured if I was up at Emmett's, then she could have the place to herself and really get some work done.

Fucking Jasper was sick with a cold and had gone to bed a few hours ago, complaining of a stuffy nose. _Pansy._

My phone rang, and I looked down to see Bella's picture pop up. I immediately began to smile thinking of my Angel.

"Hey Baby...." I was cut off by the sound of the phone being dropped and heavy breathing.

I heard screaming, and then everything went quiet.

My stomach dropped knowing that it was Bella's screams on the other side of the phone. My heart was racing in anticipation, not knowing what the fuck was going on.

"Bella? Bella?" I screamed into the phone, praying like hell that she would respond, but heard nothing.

I continued to listen as I threw down the sheet music in my hands, bolting from the apartment to take the stairs down to our apartment. Emmett was yelling at me, wondering what the fuck was going on, but followed right behind me, knowing that something seriously was wrong with Bella from the way I was reacting.

I heard more screams on the other end of the phone as my hand began to shake. Then she spoke.

"Please. Please stop. Don't do this!" She was screaming, I could tell she was crying and my hands went to my hair pulling at the roots begging for some Goddamn answers. _Oh my God, please let her be ok. She has to be ok. What the fuck is going on? _My mind was going a mile a minute, and my legs couldn't move fast enough.

"Fuck!" I screamed as I hit the last stair and pulled the fire door open, bolting for my door.

I reached for the handle and it was locked. _Of course it would be locked. We always locked the door. _ I grabbed my keys and let myself in as my hands shook like I was having a fucking seizure. I ran around the apartment looking for her, screaming out her name, but the apartment was to quiet, and the screaming continued on the other side of the phone that was coming from… outside? She wasn't here.

"There's a note E!" Emmett yelled from behind me, pointing to the kitchen, looking just as lost as I felt.

I ran to the island in the kitchen and seen a note in her chicken scratch.

_E. I will probably be back by the time you get this, but if for_

_some reason I'm not, I just ran to get ice cream quick_

_at the corner store. Lets have a naked ice cream date in bed!_

_Love you,_

_-B_

I heard more screaming coming from the other side of the phone. I felt powerless. My mind was racing with scenarios, not a single one pleasant. I looked up to find Emmett just as panic-stricken not knowing what the fuck was going on.

"Call the police!" I yelled to him, as I continued to listen, hoping that she would speak again.

I ran across the hallway and barged into Alice and Jaspers. Alice and Rose were cuddled up on the couch watching a movie and jumped up as I entered.

Still holding the phone to my ear, hearing the screaming, I looked towards the girls.

"Where's Jasper?" I frantically yelled as helped Rose to stand.

"In the bedroom? What's going on Eddie?" Alice looked freaked out wondering why I was acting like a fucking mad man.

"Get him! Now!" Alice jumped and ran into their bedroom.

Jasper came out a few seconds later, pulling on a pair of jeans. Alice threw him a shirt as he made his way towards me unsure of what was happening. He gave me a _'what the fuck'_ look as I was clearly not in the right state of mind barging into their apartment in the wee hours of the morning.

"Bella." was all I was able to choke out, on the verge of tears and trying to swallow the knot in my throat. Jasper went pale at the realization that something was very wrong with our girl.

Emmett explained to him what I heard on the phone and the three of us made our way out of the apartment.

Alice and Rose followed, and Emmett told them to wait downstairs in the lobby for the cops.

Bella had to be close. She was just going to the corner store. We ran down the flights of stairs knowing that it would be faster than the elevator

"She's gotta be close. We gotta fucking find her!" I yelled to Emmett and Jasper, phone clutched so tightly to my ear that my lobe went numb.

Jasper looked as if he was going to be sick. It was the same way I felt.

We made our way to the front doors and bolted out running in the direction of the corner store was in. My heart was beating to fast, and I was sweating to beat sixty_. I had to find her. I had to find her._

It was so dark out that you could barely see a few feet in front of you. The streetlight wasn't working and I didn't know where to go. We had made it only a few feet from the building when I seen Bella's phone on the side walk and a bag with ice cream. _Thank fucking God. I'm so close. I have to be!_

My stomach fell, as I _knew_ we were close. _Please Lord, I don't ask for much, but I am begging you to let me know where Bella is and that she is safe._

I listened closely and heard crying. _Light_ crying.

I threw my phone to the ground and ran into the dark alley following her screams. _Thank God she was still alive. She had to be ok. Oh God please let her be ok!_

We made our way a bit further, and in the dark I seen her. She was on the ground, pushed up against the building with her bare legs hanging out from underneath a large shadow.

There was a guy standing over her pulling his pants down.

_Fuck no. This was not happening to her again!_

I picked up my speed and launched myself onto the fucker. He tumbled to the ground face first with me on top of him.

I rolled him over and seen that it was James. _Are you fucking kidding me? Is this some kind of a fucking sick ass joke?_

I punched him hard in the face, my body full of rage at the mere thought of the fucker putting my girl through this fucked up shit yet again.

"What the fuck? You're supposed to be in fucking prison!" I yelled as I punched him square in the mouth with every ounce of strength I had. I felt my fist colliding with his teeth, pushing several back, blood spurting everywhere. _I felt no pain even though my hand was sure to be fucked up._

He pushed me in the chest and I fell backwards from the force but caught myself. My adrenaline was running and I wouldn't be stopped this time.

Jasper had yelled for Emmett to help me, as he was still further down the alley. I looked over towards his voice and seen that he was taking care of Bella. I wanted with every bone in my body to go to her, to make sure that she was ok, but Jasper was with her, and I was going to take care of James once and for all.

I got to my feet faster than James and pummeled him to the ground and we were rolling.

Emmett pulled him off of me and slammed him up against the building. He punched him in the nose breaking it on contact, and then several times in the stomach until he fell to his knees gasping for breath.

My rage continued to boil over, when I seen Bella propped up by Jasper. _Oh God, this is bad. This is really bad. She can't even sit up on her own. Motherfucker!_ Her shirt and bra were in tatters, breasts exposed, blood running down her body, pooling on the ground. Jasper was taking his shirt off to cover her the best he could.

Her entire body was bruised and bloody, and I was done for.

The rage could not be held back.

Not another fucking second.

The sick sadistic fuck touched my girl. He fucking hit her and made her bleed. She was naked because of what he had planned for her.

He was going to fucking pay for ever laying a single finger on her.

James was still on the ground doubled over when I ran up next to him and kicked him repeatedly in the ribs. My foot made contact with bone, crunching with every kick. The feel of his bones breaking under me only egged me on to continue.

I _wanted_ to hurt him.

I _wanted_ to make him pay for what he did to my girl.

I _wanted_ _to kill him._

My shoe made contact with the side of his head and he fell head first to the ground.

I stomped on his hand listening as his fingers broke under my weight, a smile forming across my face as he screamed out in pain.

The sadistic fuck liked to hear my girl scream out in pain, well now it was his turn.

Emmett pulled my chest back, and held my hand behind me as I went for another hit.

"Enough E! Enough!" He screamed at me. I was still raging and couldn't calm. I didn't _want_ to be calmed down. Not now, not ever. "You're going to fucking kill him E! Enough!"

I fought against his grip; he was having a hard time holding me even though he had a good 50 pounds on me.

"I don't fucking care. Let me go! He deserves to die!" I screamed. "Did you see her Emm? Did you fucking see what he did to my girl? Let me do this for her!"

Emmett took one look at Bella and his face twisted in pain.

Emmett released me knowing better than anyone that I had to finish him as I kicked James in the ribs again. The little punk was so fucked up that he couldn't even fight back. _Fucking pansy!_

I knew Emmett was right and that I really was going to kill him, but I couldn't stop.

Jasper ran over and grabbed my shoulder trying to stop me as I kicked James in the stomach. He stared me in the eyes, to get my attention and after another kick I looked up at him. His eyes were blood shot, and desperate looking.

"Enough Edward! You can't hear her because she can barely breathe, but she's begging you to stop!" I looked down at his blood-covered chest and fell to my knees knowing that it was Bella's blood he was covered in. "You gotta fucking stop for Bell! She hates that motherfucker, but she doesn't want him dead. Please E! Look at her!"

Emmett hovered in front of James making sure he didn't move as I made my way over to Bella. _My Bella._

She was leaning up against the building with her eyes closed. Her hair was wet and blood was running down her face, into her eyes. I took my own shirt off and tried to absorb some of the blood. She winced in pain as I fell to my knees in front of her.

"Oh my God baby! I am so fucking sorry! I broke my promise. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I love you B, I… Oh my God!" I started to cry, looking at her swollen face unsure if I should kiss or touch her anywhere afraid of causing more damage. She put her fragile little hand on my chest and I felt a small amount of calmness come over me as I always did when our bodies connected.

"E… Stop. I'm… here. I'm...ok." She couldn't even open her eyes or put together a full sentence. "E. I.........I lo...love...you..."

"I love you too, baby. So much!" I grabbed her hand squeezing it tightly wanting her to feel my love. I couldn't kiss her, but I would show her how much I loved her.

I tried to wipe more of the blood as I stared over her body. Jasper had gotten his shirt on her. But her pants were off too. I lifted the hem of the shirt praying to God that her panties were still on. I was having a panic attack as I lifted the shirt and seen that they were still in tact. I blew out a deep breath of air. I don't think he raped her. This was bad, but it could have been so much fucking worse. Even her panties were covered in blood, every part of her body was.

Her hand fell from my chest as her breaths became shallower. I picked it up, but it was dead weight.

"B? B talk to me!" She said nothing. " Baby come on! You gotta talk to me Angel!"

I looked over at Emmett who was pale as a fucking ghost. James tried to get up but Emmett stomped his foot down on his chest as he wiped away a tear in his eye.

"Jasper?" I yelled. He had been at the end of the alley waiting for the cops. "Jasper!"

He came running down the alley and kneeled beside Bella like me. "She's not breathing well. We need to get her to the hospital."

"Alice called 911. They're sending an ambulance. Do you think we should move her?" Tears spewed from his eyes as we stared down at Bella's lifeless body.

"We have to. We have to do something. I can't just sit here and wait. She could be dying Jasper! Look at her!"

He nodded his head and watched as I lifted Bella's lifeless body in my arms and began walking towards the street. I cradled her to my chest wanting her to feel my body and my warmth. She was so cold and I had to help her. Skin on skin, make her feel better.

"I'm here B. I'm taking you to get help. And then you'll be fine." I kissed her life less cheek. "I love you my angel. I love you so fucking much. Don't leave me! Please don't fucking leave me Bella!"

Her head slumped back at an odd angel, and Jasper held it as we walked, afraid of further injuries. I kept my cheek up against hers and could feel the slight noise of breathing coming from her nose.

When we got to the sidewalk I laid her down flat. Rose and Alice ran over and fell to their knees around her.

"Oh my God! Bella! Edward is she ok?" Alice screamed through her tears.

"I don't know Allie. I don't know! She was talking and then she passed out!" I sat down and put her head in my lap and caressed her blood soaked hair.

Rose was on the phone with the dispatcher and yelled that they would be here any minute. Bella had not regained consciousness, and I was getting more scared as the minutes passed.

"Damn it! Damn it B! You gotta wake up baby. You gotta fight!" I screamed at her as I rocked back and forth.

Two cop cars showed up and Jasper lead them back to where James and Emmett were. He was giving them a run down of what had happened as they walked.

I held Bella and told her how much I loved her over and over again. I had to have faith that she could hear me, and that she was going to be ok.

She had to be.

I wouldn't survive without her.

She was my life.

My love.

The ambulance came; Alice and Rose were pushed out of the way. The EMT tried to push me back, but I didn't budge. I held her head in my lap as they put a tube down her throat and worked on her. Jasper and Emmett finally pulled me away when the EMT's were putting Bella on a gurney and loading her into the Ambulance.

"She has to be alright!" I screamed as Emmett put his arm around my shoulder. "Tell me she's gonna be alright! I.... I.... cant lose her!"

Rose and Alice were holding each other crying just as hard as I was. I fell to my knees, my adrenaline wearing off and I had nothing left to give.

Jasper kneeled down in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders.

I was crying as I looked up at him, and seen that he was crying too.

"She's going to be ok E. She's a fighter. You have to have faith. I'm just as scared as you. We all are." He said as he tightened his grip. "But we gotta have faith. We got there in time. I know we did."

James was in handcuffs as was escorted to the police car, being literally pulled by several officers, as he couldn't walk. They could have put him on a stretcher and probably should have, but let him walk letting him know that what he did wasn't being taken lightly with these guys. He glared at me as two officers shoved him in the back of the car and drove off. If I had even an ounce of energy left, I would have tackled him to the ground once more, but Bella was my priority now. _Bella_.

"What the fuck was he even doing out? I thought Ben said this was it? What the fuck happened?" I glared at Jasper waiting for some Goddamn answers feeling my second round of anger flaring up.

"I don't know man, but we'll find out." Jasper said getting to his feet again. Emmett pulled me to mine and we stood there holding each other in the most un-guy hug ever.

I watched as they loaded Bella into the ambulance. My heart broke and I felt like they were taking my life away from me. _Bella, my life. My soon to be wife. I was absolutely nothing without her._

I couldn't breath thinking of a life that Bella wasn't a part of and began to have a panic attack. I tried to slow my breathing, but had no luck. I cried harder knowing I was doing nothing to control my breathing and gave myself over to my emotions.

Jasper wrapped his arms around my shoulders from behind trying to comfort me. He held me there like that as I continued to watch through the open doors of the ambulance.

One of the EMT's came over to us with a concerned look on his face.

"We can have one person ride along, but we have to go now." He said looking at Jasper and I.

Jasper gave me a knowing glance and a nod.

"I'm going. She's my fiancé." I said with a shaky voice taking a step forward.

The EMT nodded and we made our way to the ambulance.

"We'll follow behind E, and meet you there." Emmett said as he pulled me into another hug. He kissed the side of my head as I wiped my tears away. "She's going to be fine. Keep telling her you love her. Now more than ever she needs to hear you. We'll be there in a minute."

I nodded to him and made my way into the ambulance as they shut the door and we were off. The lights and sirens flashed, and I knew it was serious. If it weren't, then they wouldn't be on.

I sat there naked from the chest up covered in Bella's blood. I had to explain that there was nothing wrong with me, and that it was Bella's blood I was covered in.

I looked at Bella who was now strapped down with a neck brace, and an IV in her arm and the tears came again as my body shook not knowing if she was going to make it out of this.

"She's going to be alright, right?" I asked with a shaky voice. My eyes never leaving her.

"She's really banged up. We'll do everything we can for her." The EMT said.

That wasn't a yes.

He couldn't tell me if she would be ok.

My Angel.

My life.

And now I had to wait.

Only time would tell if she was going to be ok or not.

My life stood still.

And all I could think of was my Bella.

She had to be ok.

_We_ had to be ok.

**A/N: Well, if you didn't have your tissues out, I bet you do now. What the fuck is going on, and how did James get out?? **

**I know that there were a lot of brutal scenes in this chapter, but if I just skimmed over it all, you wouldn't have had the same knowledge as you do now or feel the emotions. I'm just guessing that you didn't want me to just write "I looked up and seen that it was James" and cut to Edward's POV. That would have left way too much to the imagination. And for this chapter, I wanted to lay everything out.**

**Wow. Ok. Don't hate me for leaving such an awful cliffy! If I kept going, we would have had a 30-page chapter, and I had to break it off somewhere. Please don't kill me!**

**You all know how much each and every review means to me and that I respond to EVERY one. Give me some love, Edward's a little occupied at the moment and I need a hug.**

**Review for a teaser of the next chapter. I'm just guessing you'd like some kind of a sneak peak right now.**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Wow. I…ugh…. what to say…hmm..um, ok. THANK YOU for every single person that reviewed the last chapter! You guys are absolutely amazing and make me all tingly inside.**

**There were a few reviewers however that had their PM's turned off and I wasn't able to respond. Sorry if that was you, but I did try and give you the teaser you deserved!**

**Enough here, most of you will not have even read this….**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. **

Chapter 22: The Waiting Game

EPOV

After we got to the hospital, I was told to go to the waiting room and fill out Bella's paperwork by some snarky bitch with a bun and goggle glasses. Like _that_ was something I was interested in doing right now. _My girl has just been brutally beaten and they expected me to fill out fucking paperwork? Seriously, get a damn clue._ The male nurses had to literally pry my hands away from Bella when they took her into the Emergency Room.

My heart sunk and I was left with nothing.

I felt that if I left my Bella, I was leaving my life behind and wouldn't be able to say good-bye if needed. The possibility of her dying was real, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't have just one more moment with her to tell her how much I loved her and what she meant to me. What she did for me.

Bella was my life, and I was _nothing_ without her.

I watched in agony as they wheeled her off into the Emergency Room as I stood at the doors, studying them as they swung closed like a lost man, waiting for her to come back to me. I felt a tug on my arm after what could have been only minutes, but felt like hours of standing staring at the ER doors. A nurse escorted me to the waiting room where my body fell back in one of the chairs, banging my head against the wall with thoughts of everything that had happened tonight. How it went so wrong.

I thought of the last year; how much my life changed because of my girl. I was such a different man after last summer. Happier, friendlier, more loving and knowing that there was more to this life and I was going to have it.

All because of _Bella_. My _life_.

She _had_ to survive.

And as selfish as it sounded, she had to survive for not only herself, but for _me_, for _us_.

Another nurse came over with a clipboard saying again that to properly admit Bella that I needed to get her registered. Nothing _registered_ with me other than the fact that I needed Bella in my arms and that she needed to pull through. I threw the clipboard to the side knowing that I couldn't write worth a damn right now. My hands were shaking so bad that even if I cared enough to fill out the hospital paperwork, it wouldn't be readable. They were going to treat her whether she was registered or not, so a few more minutes for me to gather my thoughts wasn't going to hurt any.

I wasn't alone with my thought for long as Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper arrived a few minutes later. Jasper had a clean shirt on, traces of Bella's blood gone. Rose and Alice were still in their pajamas as it was still early morning. Emmett's arms and face were covered in sweat and dirt from our throw down with fucking James.

I stood to greet my family as Alice enveloped me in a tight comforting hug, rubbing my back as she clung to me tighter. I knew that I was getting her dirty with my blood covered chest and arms, but I didn't much care at this point. I needed her. I couldn't let her go. I held her to me for a long time before finally pulling away, realizing that I needed to get control of myself.

Alice had several articles of clothing in her hands that she held out to me with a half smile that didn't meet her eyes.

"I brought you a shirt." She said in a tiny voice as she began rubbing Bella's dried blood off of my chest with the washcloth. I made no move to stop her, watching, as the white washcloth was turning red with every swipe over my body. She was washing Bella's presence from me. I choked back tears that wanted to make themselves known and pulled the shirt on that she held out and slumped back in the same chair afraid my legs were going to soon give out on me. "I called dad, he and mom are on their way in. He'll be able to tell us more of what's going on."

"Thanks Tink." I ruffled her hair and she gave me a slight smile as she took the chair next to me and rubbed my arm. Alice grabbed the clipboard and took the liberty of filling out Bella's paperwork for me; seeing that I was still in no shape to do anything that required my mind.

"What are they saying E?" Jasper was pacing nervous as hell for Bella. He was still pale as a ghost, just as worried as I was. I had been so wrapped up in Alice, that up until Jasper spoke, I didn't realize they were all still standing there, waiting for me to speak.

"I don't know." I ran my dirty hands through my hair as I let out a deep breath. "She has a pulse but from what I seen on the ride over here, she's still out. The EMT's couldn't tell me her status and then when we got here, they took her back through those doors and I haven't heard anything since. I'm going fucking insane over here!" I yelled as I threw my hands up in the air, frustrated as all hell not knowing what was happening with my girl.

The tears were free flowing and I didn't even try to hide them at this point. What's the use? I could've care less if every person in that fucking hospital thought of me as a pansy. That was _my_ girl in there fighting for her life!

I felt Emmett's big hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, trying to comfort me like he always did.

"She's going to be fine E. I know she will. She's a lot stronger than any of us give her credit for." He said as he left his hand on my shoulder. It was hard to be angry with Emmett about anything, but he had no clue what Bella's fate would be.

None of us did.

"And what if she isn't?" I looked up at Emmett whose eyes were wet, signifying his tears that were coming. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, standing as I shrugged his hand off of me. "You should have let me kill him Emm!"

"No." Emmett grabbed both my shoulders shaking me until I looked at him. His face was hard with finality but softer than I'd ever seen. "Because you would be in jail right now. And Bella needs you to be here for her, helping her fight. And besides, do you think that is really what she would have wanted? You're better than this E!" Emmett pulled me into a tight hug, holding me to his chest as I let my head fall, shaking as I cried.

I knew Emmett was right. Bella wouldn't have wanted me to kill fucking James. Knowing Bella, she would probably think it be best if he ended up in jail with a selly that wanted to make him his girlfriend.

I laughed at my own thought, and looked up at the 5 faces that stared back at me like I had gone to crazy town. I shrugged them off not caring what they thought.

Emmett released me and sat back down as I leaned forward and put my head in my hands as Alice sat beside me rubbing my arms and shoulders. Rose was still standing, leaning against a pillar as she rubbed her protruding belly. Emmett grabbed his wife's hand and led her to a chair where they both sat down.

Jasper was a few feet from us on the phone yelling, as we all looked up along with several nurses. From listening in to the conversation, I knew he was talking to Ben and trying to find some Goddamn answers. He was pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair looking furious, scared, angry, upset, hurt. He came back several minutes later sitting down next to Alice, heated and trying to calm himself down.

"Ben's looking into it how fuck face was even out and will get back to us as soon as he can." Jasper said as soon as he calmed enough to talk.

I nodded and sat there wanting to be as angry as Jasper about everything, but I had no energy left in my entire body to do anything but think of Bella.

We sat there waiting, no one talking, listening to the nurses go about their shift.

And waited.

Rose and Alice had fallen asleep on their guys, and I suggested that Emmett take them home knowing that Rose shouldn't be surrounded by so much stress. Rose and Alice awoke as we spoke and immediately declined, wanting to be here for Bella and I. I gave my family a weak smile before leaning my head back against the concrete wall behind me, trying to shut out all my inner demons that wanted to make themselves known.

Another hour went by.

No word from any of the medical staff.

Two hours.

Nothing.

We waited and waited.

And waited.

Mom and dad got there around 4am, looking distraught for their soon to be daughter in law's health. Dad went back to see if there was anything he could help with, or find out for us, and mom got us all coffee. Jasper and I had given her the run down, retelling the events over the past few hours, and watched as she broke down into a blubbering mess, listening to what Bella had been through.

As I spoke, I broke down, word-by-word still not knowing my soon to be wife's fate. Jasper was a shaky crying mess talking about the brutality that was used against his best friend. His sister.

For the next hour, my mom held my hand and let me lean into her side while I allowed the last few hours run through my head over and over. My mom took care of me like I was a little boy again, running her fingers through my hair, kissing my head, rubbing my back, comforting me the best way she knew how.

Only one other person in this entire world could have made me feel better than my mother.

And she was on the other side of those doors fighting for her life.

Bella's life was hanging in the balance, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

I was fucking helpless.

Another hour went by.

Every time the doors to the ER opened, I stood, only to be disappointed when a nurse would give me a sad look and shake her head that no, she didn't have any word on Bella's condition.

6am came and went.

Nurses changed shift, and the new day was starting.

7am hit.

It had been 5 hours with no word on my Bella.

I didn't know if I should take this as a good sign or not. Maybe the doctors hadn't come out because she was in surgery or they were working on her injuries and were too busy to update her family. What if she had… died… ugh! Just thinking that thought made me physically ill, falling to my knees in pain with the thought of never seeing Bella's smiling face again. If things had gone the _other way_, someone would have come out by this point to inform us, right?

The waiting room felt like my own personal prison. I couldn't leave, but I couldn't just sit there either. I didn't know what to do. I had no idea how Bella was. The doctors hadn't given us anything to go off of. Carlisle had gone back hours ago, and hadn't returned yet.

I was loosing my mind in agony. Jasper looked just as bad off as I felt. His hair was in every different direction from him pulling on it so much.

And the time that I had waiting for word made me also think about what I let happen to her.

I made Bella a promise that she would never be hurt again, and here she was, fighting for her life only a few doors down from me because I wasn't there to protect her.

It was my only job to keep my girl safe and I failed.

I would never forgive myself for letting this happen to her.

What kind of person was I? I couldn't even protect her from a piece of shit that was ten times weaker than me and had previously beaten the shit out of. But as my thoughts continued, I wondered if my previous run in with fuck face had only made things worse for my Bella.

I hated myself more than I ever had for letting her go through this again.

I failed Bella.

I failed myself.

I failed _us_.

I wasn't much of a church going man, but found myself praying for her to make it out alive on more than one occasion.

_Please God, I don't ask for much in this world, and promise to never ask for another thing so long as I live. I am begging, pleading for my girl Bella to make it through. I pray that you watch over her and bring her back to me where she belongs. I can't live this life without her and will not even try if that's what it comes down to. Please, look past all my flaws and see the goodness that is Bella. Help her. Save her. Save us. _

Carlisle made his way through the doors in a pair of scrubs, pulling me from my thoughts. As he walked towards us I stood, bracing myself against a poll for support knowing that my legs were not strong enough to support me right now.

My father's eyes were tired and blood shot. He had obviously been crying, which made my heart sink even further if that was possible. My father never _cried_. His face was expressionless.

My father placed his hand on my shoulder gripping it hard as he stared into my eyes. Tears blurred my vision as I felt my mom take my available hand, holding it tightly in both of hers, silently telling that she was here to support me through whatever I was about to be told. Everyone else stood anxiously waiting for what my father was going to say.

"Dad?" I was barely able to speak the words as I swallowed back the knot in my throat. "My Bella?"

He gave a long pause before speaking, picking his words carefully. The tears were now falling down my cheeks uncontrollably, anticipating what he was going to state. She had to be ok, I kept telling myself.

"Edward. Bella just got out of surgery. We did everything we could for her. She had a lot of head trauma and swelling in her brain. We had to go in and drain some of the fluids to relieve the pressure on her brain." Carlisle swallowed hard, and in all my life, I hadn't seen him this nervous, sad, lost before.

"And..." I needed for him to tell me she was going to be ok. Mom tightened her grip on my hand as I began to shake.

He took a deep breath. I could tell he was really thinking hard, choosing his words cautiously. Tears filled his eyes and I felt my knees going weak. Mom grasped my forearm for support.

"She's now in the recovery room. Her pulse is good and she needs to rest." Another long pause. "She took many hits to her head, and as I said went through surgery for the swelling in her brain. The bone under left eye is fractured, and the rest of her face is badly bruised. Her body is covered in bruises. She has a few broken ribs as well. But, she's going to be ok. She's going to make it, son."

I fell to my knees when I heard those 5 words I had been praying for the last several hours.

_She's going to make it._

"She's going to be ok?" I whispered as I looked at the ground, praying like hell that I heard him correctly.

"Yes son, she'll make a full recovery. Bella's going to have a rough few weeks ahead of her recovering from her injuries, but she _will_ recover. Why don't you all go home and get some rest. She won't be able to have visitors for quite some time and you all look exhausted." Carlisle looked around at everyone giving them a small smile and head nod.

"I can't leave her dad. I just can't." My tear filled eyes looked up at him pleading to just let me stay as he nodded in understanding.

"I can't leave either Carlisle. That's my sister in there." Jasper was leaning heavily on little Alice for support. His eyes blood shot and broken listening to my father talk about our girl.

Again my father just nodded in understanding. He knew the connection that Jasper and Bella had, there was no question about her brother staying and waiting for her to wake up.

"Emm, you need to take the girls home. It's not good for Rose to be here, she needs rest." The words were barely audible from my mouth as I continued to look at the ground, not really seeing it as my eyes were blurred, dazed and disoriented.

Emmett grabbed me from under the arms and pulled me up and into a tight hug, holding my weight to him until my arms wrapped tightly around his form, hugging him to me. I didn't hold back. I needed him, I needed my family. He kissed the side of my head before he spoke.

"She's going to be fine E. She's going to come home to you. I promise. The two of you are going to make it through this shit together." He held me a minute longer before releasing me to my chair, grabbing Alice and Rose's hands letting them know it was time to go.

Both Rose and Alice gave Jasper and I a kiss on the cheek before making their way home. They said they were going to be staying at my apartment so they were all together when we called to tell them about Bella.

Jasper and I sat in chairs next to each other watching as my mom gave dad a hug. Carlisle then knelt down in front of my chair; again his eyes were tear filled and blood shot. He placed one hand on my knee as I looked into his eyes.

"It's bad dad, isn't it?" I asked trying to push back the knot in my throat for the hundredth time tonight, or this morning, whatever it was.

"I've never been one to lie to you, son. Her injuries are severe, but she _will_ heal. Emmett's right, she's coming home to you. I'll make sure to keep a close watch on her status. But...there's something that I'm going to need to discuss with you and Bella… when she's ready." His eyes fell to his hands not wanting to give more information away until absolutely necessary.

My heart fell to my gut, and as if things couldn't get worse, I felt the room spinning around me, terrified of what he was going to say. I placed my hand over his gripping it tight.

"What is it? I need to know what we're facing." I asked, again barely able to get the words out.

Dad looked over to Jasper as if he didn't want to speak about Bella's personal information in front of him.

"Carlisle, Bella is my life too. I have to know what's wrong with her. Please." Jasper squeaked out.

I gave my father a nod knowing that Jasper was here for Bella as much as I was and that she wouldn't mind him knowing.

"The attack took a tole on her body, in more ways than one. From the looks of the bruises on her stomach and ribs, she was struck there with force, as well as her chest. And...." His voice gave out, as mom's hand came to rest on his back. "And this is something that I should really be discussing with you and Bella when she is ready."

What he was about to say was really awful. Worse than I could have imagined. Part of me was screaming inside to know, and the other part of me knew that it was something that I needed to hear with Bella.

I nodded my head in understanding and peeled my eyes away from my fathers.

"I'm going to go check on her now son, I'll let you know when you can go in and sit with her." He gave my knee another squeeze, kissed Esme, and made his way to Bella, leaving me with so many unanswered questions that were floating around in my mind.

"I'll go and get you two some clothes to change into. I got a feeling neither of you are going anywhere anytime soon." I nodded at my mother as she kissed my cheek then Jasper's and left us alone.

We both sat there stunned for what seemed like hours, but when I looked at my phone, _which was cracked and being held together by tape due to throwing it in my fight to find Bella,_ I realized it had only been minutes.

Only minutes since dad told us that Bella was going to make it.

Minutes since he told me that there was something more going on with Bella that he couldn't tell me about right now.

I peered over at Jasper who looked like he was a lost soul. I slapped his knee to get him out of the trance he was in and his eyes darted towards mine.

"I need a smoke. You?" He nodded and we made our way outside near the ER doors.

I told the nurses where to find us just in case Bella awoke, and headed out. Dad had said that he would let me know when we could see Bella, so I figured now was as good of a time as any to try and get some relief in the only way I would be able to.

Jasper and I both lit up and leaned up against opposite walls not talking for a long while, just enjoying the way the nicotine kicked in and relaxed some nerves.

Not talking also allowed me to be alone yet again with my thoughts, and what fuck face James did to my girl. I _tried_ not to let my anger get the best of me. I _tried_ not to allow him to control me like this. I _tried_ to be the better person here, but my control was slipping little by little, as pictures of her bloody and bruised body kept flooding my mind.

Finally the pent up rage I had been holding in could not be caged any longer. I kicked the heavy trash barrel over, letting it fall to the ground, garbage flying about in the wind. I slammed my fists into the concrete wall welcoming the pain I felt as my head hit the wall and I cried like a fucking baby.

Jasper picked up the trash barrel and made his way over to me, standing beside me with his arm over my shoulders trying to comfort me. I pushed him off, shoving him back, not wanting to be comforted right now. I wanted to be mad. I wanted _someone_ to be mad at.

"Stop E!" Jasper yelled as he pulled me into a hug. I tried to push him back again, but he just held me tighter. "I'm hurting too man, I love her just as much as you do!" I knew he was hurting just as bad as I was, maybe even worse, and I didn't stop to think about his feelings until just now, but I still wanted to be mad, hurt something or someone.

"What the _fuck_ happened Jasper?" I growled as I pushed him back with all my force making him release me from his grip. My adrenaline kicked in and the monster was unleashed. "How. The. Fuck. Did. This. Happen? Your buddy Ben said that this was the last fucking straw. I don't fucking understand, and someone better do some fucking explaining before I really lose my fucking cool!" I paced back and forth, hitting the wall here and there trying to get some kind of comfort from the pain.

"I don't know man! I don't know! My mind has been racing a mile a minute ever since I was pulled out of bed and we went looking for Bella! And then when I heard her screaming and we seen her...I lost it. And you started on James and I went for Bella, and she.........she...was so defenseless. I immediately pulled off my shirt to cover her, her chest exposed and bloody..........and she was trying to push me away thinking I was James." He shook his head thinking of the sight, tears streaming down his cheeks, breaking down again, bit by bit.

I pulled out another cigarette and smoked as he continued, cringing with each word he spoke.

"I didn't know what to do. As soon as I was able to get her attention and she believed that I wasn't James she sunk into my arms. She kept screaming for her Angel. 'My Angel,' were her exact words."

I felt my stomach drop and I lost it in the trashcan. She was _screaming_ for me to help her, and I was to late.

I was too fucking late.

I slid my way down the wall and sat with my knees to my chest with my arms wrapped around them listening to Jasper go on with what he remembered as my mind _reminded_ me that I was to late and she was calling for me to save her.

"Did you see her body E? Did you fucking see what he did to her? I held her in my arms and cradled her, telling her everything was going to be ok, but not really knowing for sure myself. I told her how you were there and that you were taking care of James. She could barely talk, whispering to me, to make you stop. And then her head fell back and she stopped talking." He was now next to me on the ground looking defeated.

"She's the only reason I did stop." I barely squeaked out the words as I cleared my throat. "If it weren't for you telling me what she said I would have killed him J. I would have fucking killed him and felt no remorse. But I knew deep down it wasn't what she wanted. He deserves to die man; I can't get the images of her naked and beaten out of my head. I am so fucking traumatized with the visuals!" I leaned my head into my hands letting the tears flow as they pleased.

"I know man, I feel the same way. The last thing I promised my Mama before the coffin was lowered, was that I would take care of Bell, and I broke that promise. She's sitting in that fucking room right now because I didn't fucking protect and take care of her. I failed her once again!" I put my hand on his back as he shook with tears.

"I feel the same way. My only job in this whole fucking world is to take care of my Bella and I failed. I can't help feel like this is my fault because I didn't protect her. You can't lay this on your shoulders J. It was _my_ job now and I fucking failed her." I failed my girl and wouldn't let someone else take the blame for this massacre.

"No! It was both of our jobs to make sure she was safe!" He glared into my eyes. "Do you know what its like to watch her go through this time after fucking time? Watching her cry herself to sleep night after night because she had been beaten down so badly that's all she could do? And every time, I would tell her that this was it. That it was never going to happen to her again, and here we sit. Yet again. I fucking hate myself for letting this happen!"

"What was she even doing out that late anyways? Alone?" I asked staring at the ground. I had been wondering about this since the moment that I seen the note in the kitchen.

"She said she had a craving for ice cream in her note. But what the fuck was she thinking going out by herself that late? I mean James or no James; none of the girls go out that late on their own. She is so fucking stupid to have gone!" He was on his feet again pacing.

"I feel the same way. I have no idea what was going through that mind of hers. The only thing I can think of is that she felt she _could_ go. She felt that with James being locked up she was _safe_. How fucking wrong was she? How fucking wrong were we all?" I got to my feet and was pacing with Jasper. "I need some answers man."

"I know, I talked to Ben about an hour ago, and he's catching a flight. He should be here tonight to start figuring this shit out. He can watch things closer if he's here. Then we should have some answers." Jasper leaned against the wall with his head back and eyes closed.

"Mr. Cullen?" The doors opened and a nurse named Kate came out. "Dr. Cullen said you can see Ms. Swan now."

I ran to the doors in excitement, knowing that I was seconds away from seeing my girl. Jasper was behind me shaking with nervous energy and I knew couldn't leave him in the waiting room.

"Kate? My buddy Jasper has to be in there too. Please tell my father Dr. Cullen. He will ok the request." I gave her my pleading eyes and she nodded.

Jasper's hand clapped my back in appreciation and we made our way to Bella's room. My father caught us outside her door and reminded us that she would be unconscious and that we shouldn't try to wake her.

We both nodded and made our way in. I stopped dead in my tracks in the doorframe and stared at the bed in front of me.

My Bella.

Jasper was beside me, and it was hell taking a step forward seeing the sight in front of me lying on that bed.

My stomach dropped once again; the sight of Bella blurred my vision. She lay lifeless in the bed before us. She had tubes down her throat and her head was wrapped in gauze from where the incision was. Her left eye was swollen shut; black and purple lined her face.

I forced my feet forward as Jasper and I made our way over to her bed, each of us taking a side of the bed. Her neck was covered in purple and blue, but her 'E' was visible behind her ear. A small smile twitched on my lips at the sight and I ran my fingers over it, letting her know I was here, wanting to feel our connection still there.

She had a thin hospital gown on that hung off her fragile body. I could see there was bruising along her collar bone and down her arms. Her arms looked as they did when she returned from California, long bruises all the way around from his hands.

I grabbed her small hand and rubbed over her ring. _My ring._ I leaned down and kissed it grateful that she still had it on. A piece of me had been with her and had stayed with her through the most difficult day of our lives. One of the nurses must have put it back on her after surgery and I was guessing that it was that nice nurse Kate. She seemed to be a very compassionate person.

Jasper had pulled up a chair and sat down, holding her right hand in his own, whispering his love to her. I moved the blanket down and pulled at her gown, inching it up. I wasn't trying to be a pervert, but I had to see _everything_, so I could get a grasp on things before she could see me fall apart. _Cause I knew I wasn't far from it._

I started at her feet and worked my way up, noticing that her lower legs were not bruised at all. Letting my eyes roam further, I notice the bruises on her inner and outer thighs and had to swallow the vomit in my mouth knowing how they got there. I continued my journey up and saw the bruising across her hipbones and her swollen stomach and rib cage.

When the gown made its way over her breasts, I seen her right breast had gauze and tape over the nipple, but that the other just had a few scratches and bruising. _Did her ring pull out?_ I pulled the gown down, and tucked the blanket back around her not knowing if my stomach was staying or going.

"Edward?" Carlisle had come in the room during my inspection and I was a bit embarrassed that I was caught looking at her like that.

I turned to look at my father, my eyes burning from the tears.

"Why is her breast taped up?" I didn't want to know, but I did, and I guess deep down I already knew. Part of me wanted to feel uncomfortable talking to my father about my girl's body, but knew that he was a professional and had seen thousands of naked women.

Carlisle took a deep breath before starting. Jasper was sitting bent over with his head in his hands listening.

"He was very rough with her Edward. He pulled...causing the wound to bleed. I would assume that area will be sensitive for a while." He stopped, looking for words again. "I didn't realize she shared a love for piercings as you did son." A small smile played across his lips at the work on Bella's body knowing that I was the one that had put most of it there.

I blushed at the comment for only a second before shaking the thought of all the intimate details of her beautiful body that were there for just the two of us to see.

Another thought crossed my mind disrupting my happy thoughts.

"Her thighs are badly bruised, but when I found her, she was mostly naked but still had...her...ugh...panties on. Did he...I mean...was she.... ugh...did he assault her _that_ way?" I barely could get the words out, partially because I was embarrassed for talking about my girl this way, and secondly because it was my father.

"No son, we did a vaginal exam on her and she wasn't raped if that's what you were wanting to know." I nodded my head and let out a deep breath. "But...there is still something I need to talk to you both about when she's ready."

"If she wasn't raped then what is it? It can't get much worse than _that_." I tried to keep my voice down, but was tired of not knowing and wanted some answers for once.

His eyes flooded with tears as he looked to the floor not wanting to meet my gaze.

"When Bella wakes I will come and talk with you both, leave it at that for now, ok son?" I nodded knowing that it was something we needed to hear together.

Just the thought of knowing that it was something we would be able to hear _together_ was calming. I would get my Bella back and things would be ok. Well eventually they would be ok, but she _was_ coming back to me.

Carlisle left after explaining Bella's injuries a little more in depth. He needed to fill out some paperwork to get himself transferred as Bella's primary doctor so he could keep us up to date on her progress and monitor her. Bella had put me down previously with her doctor as her responsible person if anything were to happen to her, and I had to sign the paperwork for the transfer and would also be held responsible for any decisions that needed to be made.

I was just glad that as of right now, there were no decisions that would need to be made.

I wouldn't be able to make them on my own if need be.

Jasper and I set up camp on either side of Bella's bed. The only time I let her hand go was when a nurse glared at me to move so she could check vitals, give meds, and change dressings.

Nurse Kate would just move past me, telling me that I was fine where I was at, and I thanked her every chance I got for being so understanding of our situation. Some of the nurses were down right pushy and could have cared less that I was Carlisle's son first of all, and that my girl had been in a very tragic accident. _Bitches!_

Jasper and I took turns taking naps throughout the day, and I was internally grateful that he had stayed so that I had some company. And I knew that Bella would be glad to see him when she woke up.

The morning turned into afternoon, and afternoon turned into evening. Esme returned with a duffle bag full of clothes for us and toiletries. Jasper and I took turns with showers as we had now been here for almost 24 hours and were still covered in the remnants of Bella's attack. I scrubbed my chest and arms until they were raw, trying to get rid of the memories of Bella's blood that had been there. My skin was red and raw, but I knew it was nothing compared to what Bella had gone through. I broke down in the shower and stood there for a long time trying to regain my control before I dressed and returned to her side, knowing that when she woke, she wouldn't want to see me like this. It wouldn't be good for her recovery.

And the only thing that mattered to me know was Bella's recovery.

Emmett had called late in the evening, wondering her progress and between Jasper and I, we explained all that we knew. I heard Rose and Alice cry in relief when they heard that she would be waking soon. Emmett had us on speakerphone.

Carlisle had explained that she was in a medically induced coma to help her heal from the surgery. He said that her meds had been stopped in the evening and that it was up to her body when it was ready to wake and start recovery on its own. He also said that typically it only took a day or two, but each case was different.

Sunday continued the same way as the previous day. Nurses came and went, Carlisle came and went, Jasper and I stood our positions and didn't move, both of us hoping and praying to see the whites of Bella's eyes.

Emmett, Rose and Alice were instructed to stay away until she was awake, so it was just Jasper and I. We passed the time watching crappy cable tv, playing cards and discussing shoptalk.

We mostly just sat staring at Bella, willing her eyes to open.

And waited some more.

And continued to wait.

By Monday I was starting to get anxious wondering why she hadn't woken yet, but was assured by Carlisle that she would wake when her body was ready. It needed to heal itself enough first.

I found myself pacing that little room for several hours a day not knowing what else to do.

Jasper decided to go home for a while and be with Alice. There wasn't anything that he could do for Bella at the hospital and needed to comfort Alice and let her know that things were going to be ok. After a long talk, I finally got Jasper to realize that he would always be in Bella's life, but that he needed to take care of my sister first and foremost and let me do the worrying for Bella.

Tuesday, we had Nurse Kate again, and she even brought me in a Caribou coffee and some bagels on her way in. She let me stay, and I watched as she gave Bella a sponge bath, not able to leave her side or look away from her naked form. I watched as she made her way over Bella's bruised body, and cringed each time she went over her ribs or any other injured area.

Wednesday, Esme brought me some more clothes and my sketchpad and sat with dad and I for a few hours. I worked on many new designs during the time alone and began to write. I wrote everything I was feeling and everything that had happened in my life since I met Bella last August.

I spent most of the days with Bella's hand in mine singing to her, letting her feel my love the only way I could right now. I sang anything I could think of, hoping that she could hear me, and had just a little bit of peace knowing that I was near.

Thursday was not a good day for me. I was starting to loose my mind thinking that she wasn't going to wake up. I watched as they fed her through a feeding tube, but I knew her body wasn't getting the nourishment it needed. She was slowly withering away, and badly needed to wake up so that she could really start recovering.

Carlisle, who checked on her several times a day, assured me that this was normal, but even _I_ could see the strain on his face, as she wasn't waking up.

Saturday morning came around. I had been at the hospital with Bella for a whole week. My body was weak. My mind was even weaker.

I was starting to give up hope that she was actually going to wake up.

I talked to her even more than usual and prayed for a response, knowing that I would hear nothing.

I laid my head on her bed, with one of her hands in mine, the other around her thigh.

"Please B. Please you gotta come back to me." I cried. "You're my whole world, and I can't live with out you. Please my Angel you have to wake up. I need you."

"I love you B. So fucking much. Please." I cried into the mattress rubbing her hand and thigh.

She had to wake up.

She had too.

**A/N: Tear. Another cliffy. Sorry. But the next one will give you some answers that I'm sure you're dying for!**

**Please note that I am an office manager in real life and have no clue about how long it takes to come back from a medically induced coma or any of the technical terms, so don't shoot me for not being smart in the head.**

**Send me your thoughts and kind words. These chapters are the hardest to write. No fun at all.**

**I would love to hear your ideas about how you think James was out and walking the streets. Shoot me a review and share.**

**Now… hit the review button and show me some love. Can we get to 500 or close at least? I would LOVE every one of you just a little more than usual if you could help me out. Maybe it would get the next chapter up even faster…hmm.**

**Reviews are better than James's selly bending him over the metal toilet seat and taking advantage of his back door. I know you are all as sick and twisted as me so you get what I mean.**

**Oh, and if you are looking for a pick me up from all the sadness, check out my new fic. 'Give and Take'. It's got lots of snarky Bella and sexy Edward. Lots of laughs to come!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Notes on the bottom, cause I know you guys aren't going to want to read this stuff up here.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight**

Chapter 23:Coming To Terms

BPOV

Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…

The annoying sound continued and I was about two seconds from throwing my damn pillow at it to make it stop.

Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…

So help me God, if Edward didn't shut his damn alarm off soon, he was getting no sex for a week.

The beeping continued and I wondered _why_ he wasn't shutting it off.

The more I listened, it didn't _sound_ like Edward's alarm clock, _and_ if it were his alarm he would have gotten it already. He was OCD about sounds and had to shut it off by the second time it beeped saying it bothered the piss out of him.

Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…

No. That definitely wasn't an alarm clock.

I thought for a minute, and recognized that I wasn't in my bed. _This_ bed was much too hard and I never sleep up right. I always slept on my stomach or sides.

I wasn't at home. _Where the hell was I? _

I tried to swallow and was unable to; my throat was constricted with something. I started to panic unable to move, my body feeling heavy like a brick, but realized that I was still breathing and was indeed awake. Whatever was in my mouth was still allowing me to breath.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. My vision was blurry, and I couldn't see out of my left eye at all. It wouldn't even open.

My vision focused on the white walls, beeping machines, the smell of alcohol.

I was in the hospital.

Little bits and pieces came flooding back to mind of what had happened and why I was here.

_James_.

I was definitely in the hospital, but how did I get here?

The last thing I remembered was Edward carrying me in his arms as I told him that I loved him.

Then everything went black.

I tried to move my head but it wouldn't budge. It felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and it was pulsing with pain.

Something heavy was on my hand. It was holding me down. I couldn't move it, but realized that whatever was holding me down had a calming affect on me, and I didn't care that it was immobilizing my hand.

It was warm, soft and very familiar.

I tried to move my head once more, this time it budged an inch or two and I saw my Angel asleep with his head on my thigh, arm wrapped around it with his other hand over mine. I immediately felt relief knowing that he was here with me and that I wasn't alone.

Edward would have the answers that I needed.

I squeezed his hand that was over mine, but he didn't move, my grip was so light that he probably didn't even feel it.

I tried again, grasping his fingers as tight as possible. I know my fingers barely held his; I had no strength in my body.

I squeezed his fingers once more praying that he could feel my touch. I needed to see his piercing green eyes that held all the comfort I would ever need.

I felt his hand tighten over mine and his head moved slightly and I was home. Home with Edward.

His head raised and his beautiful eyes met mine. I wanted to smile at him, talk, tell him how much I loved him, but I couldn't do anything.

"B?" His eyes were blood shot, bags under them. His voice was thick as if he had been crying. I had many dreams of my Angel while I was sleeping, but they were usually not this shitty looking.

I tried to answer but couldn't due to thing down my throat. Edward seen the panic in my eyes and tightened his grip on my hand as he talked trying to soothe me.

"B? You're at the hospital. There's a tube down your throat to help you breath. You've been in a coma. I'll get Carlisle and we'll get it out. Oh B! I thought I lost you, baby!" Edward kissed my hand, gripping my fingers, letting me feel his love as tears ran down his cheeks.

I tried to speak again with no luck.

I wanted to tell him that I was right here, and that he didn't loose me.

I wanted to tell him that I loved him too.

I wanted to tell him not to cry.

He let go of my hand for only a second, running from the room most likely to alert the hospital staff that I was awake.

Soon, my room was flooded with nurses checking my monitors and then Carlisle came in.

"Bella?" His eyes twinkled, unshed tears pooling in the corners. "You have a tube down your throat that I'm going to remove. It's going to hurt for a while. As we're pulling it out, try to cough it will help. There's oxygen in your nose, take deep breaths if you can ok?" He stared at me for confirmation that I understood and I tried to nod. Seeing that I was unable to, he continued. "Blink two times if you understand."

I blinked twice and they got to work. After the tubes were out of my mouth, I coughed trying to breath. The oxygen in my nosepieces was turned up and I started to breath on my own appreciating the fact that there was no longer anything constricting my ability to talk. As soon as the nurses seen that I was breathing easily, they took a step back and allowed Edward to come closer.

He took my hand once again and gripped it tightly as another hand rested on my shoulder.

"E?" I croaked. My throat burned with every breath I took but I needed to talk to him, show him that I was here and that I was all right.

"Shh.. Bella, its ok beautiful, you don't have to talk." Edward said as he kissed my hand as tears continued to fall down his cheeks. He looked so damn tired, but the crooked smile I loved was there and I focused on that. "I'll get you some ice chips, Love."

He was only gone for a few seconds but as soon as his touch left mine, I felt cold and empty. He returned with a cup full of ice chips, which he hand fed me. The cool ice on the back of my throat was heavenly.

"Bella? Do you know where you are?" Carlisle asked as he read through my charts and checked machines.

"Yes. Hospital. James. Ungh..." The severe pain in my head cut me off. It was agonizing. I tried to bring my hand to my head, but my arm weighed a ton and it wasn't budging.

"Yes, you're right. Edward, Jasper and Emmett found you. The ambulance brought you here and you had to have surgery. There was too much pressure on your brain, and we had to go in and drain some fluids."

I closed my eyes and took in what he was saying. I remember James hitting me in the head and the face countless times. My left eye was mostly swollen shut, but I could make out a sliver of the room, and Edward's face now that I had been alert for a while.

My Angels face.

"Are you in pain Bella?" Carlisle asked while looking over my charts.

Yes I was in pain, but did I want to go back to sleep? _No_.

I needed to see Edward and feel his love and let him feel mine. I had to get that distraught look off his face.

"Not much." My face gave me away and Edward's disapproving eyes peered into mine.

"B, I can tell you're in pain. Take the meds and rest. I'm not going anywhere, Love. I won't _ever_ leave you again, Angel." Edward said as he grabbed a strand of hair that had fallen in my face. His words hit me harder than he probably intended and a tear escaped my eye. I didn't _want_ him to ever leave me again. Not after what happened.

"How long was I out?" I screeched. I didn't know what day it was, or time. I couldn't tell you if it was morning or afternoon, or what month it was either.

"A little over 7 days. It's Sunday morning. You were brought in early Saturday morning of last week." Edward said with a scratchy voice. He was on the verge of tears again and I didn't want to be the reason behind them, knowing that I was.

I thought about what he said, and couldn't believe that I had been out that long. I didn't remember being asleep for the past 7 days. Then again I didn't remember much of anything right now.

"You never left, did you?" I asked looking into his blood shot eyes that were so full of love and compassion.

He sat in his chair again and rubbed my leg with his hand while the other held mine tight. "Never. Not for one minute B. And I'm not leaving. Not until _we_ leave _together_. Understand?" His tone was so serious, I think I fell in love with him just a little more with the way he spoke of us.

I gave him the best smile I could in understanding. I wouldn't want him to leave me until we left together, but understood if he wanted or needed to.

"Bella, I'm going to give you a sedative that will help you sleep. You should feel better when you awake, ok sweetie? We'll talk more when you wake up." Carlisle injected something in my IV and the last thing I remember is Edward saying that he loved me.

******

I awoke and the room was dark. I heard the annoying beeping of the machines that I was hooked up to and saw Edward asleep in the chair beside my bed. He was bent over with his head on my thigh, with my hand in his. I fell asleep again with my Angel by my side.

I wanted nothing more than to have him crawl in bed with me, so that I could feel him next to me.

I tried to tell him, but didn't get the words out before I fell asleep again.

******

A nurse was poking my arm and I twitched. I opened my eyes to see that it was daylight again. My eyes felt so heavy. I was trying to keep them open, but the sleepiness won out. I vaguely remember seeing Edward who was pacing around the room on his cell phone.

I woke like this several more times, switching from day to night and back again. I lost track of the days and the times.

Jasper was pacing the room the next time I woke up. His eyes caught mine for only a second before mine closed again.

I heard talking but couldn't make out the words, I was just so tired.

*****

My eyes fluttered open, and I felt a light kiss on my lips. I knew it was Edward, and as my eyes came into focus, I seen his smiling face looking back at me.

"Are you really awake this time, B?" Edward sounded relieved and anxious.

I took stock of his face, noticing that the dark circles were still under his eyes, but they weren't blood shot any longer. He looked as if he may have gotten some sleep while I was out again.

"Yes. I think I am. What day is it?" I was scared for the answer, wondering how long it had been this time.

"It's Thursday, love. I've been waiting a _long_ time to hear your voice again." He leaned down and placed another soft kiss on my lips. I reveled in his touch that I had longed for in my dreams.

I tried to sit up, but was to weak and my arms were no help. Edward caught on to what I was trying to do and propped me up with pillows and moved my bed to an upright position. I felt a deep pain in my stomach and side but ignored it, not wanting to alarm Edward.

I looked around the room at all the flowers and balloons and gave Edward a confused look.

"Alice and Rose raided the hospital gift shop. You can give them shit the next time they're here." He looked down at his phone. "Which should be in a few hours."

"They've come to see me?" I didn't remember anyone but Edward being here when I woke up. Well, except for that one time that Jasper was pacing around, but that was only for a split second.

"Yes Love, Rose, Alice, Emmett and Jasper have all been here. And my mom and dad too. I practically have to kick Jasper out each night." He laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

"When can we go home?" I know I just woke up and all, but I needed to go home. Now. I hated hospitals and wanted to go home, to a place where I felt safe and comfortable so that I could start putting the pieces together of what happened.

"Umm.... Soon I hope. You need to be able to keep food down first. You haven't eaten anything in almost two weeks sweetie. The feeding tube didn't do much for you." He rubbed his hand over my hipbone which kind of hurt. I looked under the covers and pulled up my gown seeing my hipbones more prominent than usual. "Carlisle said that once you woke and stayed awake for a few hours that you should be able to go. They've already done all the tests and X-Rays that needed to be done so…"

I cut Edward off. It was rude, I know, but he would forgive me. I just wanted to get the hell out of here.

"Oh. Ok. Well, bring me some food. I _want_ to go home." The urgency to get the hell out of this place was hitting me, and I wanted to go now.

Edward cupped my cheek lightly in his hand and kissed my lips. "Soon B. Soon. But you just woke up, and we can't rush things. Carlisle should be here any minute to check on you. I had the nurses page him."

I nodded, trying to find the courage to ask my next question.

"James?" His name barely left my mouth as the tears began to flow. Edward wiped them away as fast as they came, trying not to touch my swollen cheek. "Where's James? What happened?"

Edward took his seat and grabbed both of my hands in his. He stared at my eyes for several moments before starting.

"We took care of him. After we... found you.... _I_ took...care of him. He's in jail awaiting trial. According to Ben and Detective Ruder, this is his last offense and he _will_ be serving life with no chance of parole." He was trying hard to control his voice the anger seeping through.

My own anger was starting to stir at the fact that James was even out in the first place. According to _Ben_, he shouldn't have ever seen the light of day again.

I would be having a talk with Ben when this was all over. _If I knew Edward at all, I'm sure that Ben has already had more than his fare share of talks already._

"How the _hell_ was he even out in the first place? He was _supposed_ to be in jail!" I was yelling at this point, but didn't care much if anyone heard me. I needed some damn answers of what happened and why the hell this fucker had turned my life upside down yet again.

Edward kissed my forehead before continuing, picking his words carefully, probably so that he wouldn't get himself worked up again. "I know B. I know. That's what we all thought. Ben's here and he's been doing some research for us. In November, he got sentenced and went to the state penitentiary, but _Ben_ was wrong, and he wasn't in for life, _yet_. He was only going to be serving a two-year sentence, and because of that, he was put into the work release program where he worked a day job at a factory. Apparently it was _supposed_ to be heavily monitored, but he escaped. Ben thinks that James had someone that worked at the factory helping him, because the surveillance videos don't show his escape at all. He had been out just two days before he got to you. I have had a _lot_ of time to think about this B; _a lot_ of time, and my minds been racing as to why they would even think to put him into the work release program with his background. What were they fucking thinking? It's supposed to be set up for criminals that are on good behavior and that they feel they can trust. Fucking James can't be trusted, I just don't understand!" Edward's grip on my hand tightened as he became more worked up. I couldn't blame him. He's had to sit for the last almost two weeks wondering about my fate, pondering idea after idea, and it all comes back to the fact that the system failed us by allowing James some freedom.

"Edward, calm down. You gotta calm down. It's over now. It's over." I tried to get his hand back, but he pushed away from the bed and began to pace. I would deal with what happened to me later, but for now I had to make Edward understand that I was safe and alive. "I'm here E. I'm ok now. Calm down and talk to me."

He glared at me with teary eyes. "You're _ok_ now? B, have you looked in the mirror? Do you even _remember_ what he did to you?" His voice grew angrier, and I knew that I hurt, that he had done a number on me and I assumed that the person in the mirror didn't look _ok_ in Edward's eyes.

I fought back the tears that were coming. I _did_ know what he did to me. I tried so damn hard to _forget_ what he did to me. I didn't know what I looked like at this moment, or when they found me, but I did _know_ what he did to me, and would _never_ forget.

"I remember what he did to me." I said with nothing more than a whisper, looking down at my hand, which was folded in my lap. I tried to hold back the tears, but the floodgate were open and they came rushing out reliving the nightmare that I went through.

Edward was at my side once again and grabbed my hand between his own. Tears streamed down his face.

"I'm sorry B. I'm sorry that I was so insensitive. Of course you know what he did to you. I'm sorry I'm such an ass. It's just that I'm so fucking horrified at what he did to my Angel." His eyes were red, and I tried to catch the tears that were streaming down his cheeks but he wouldn't let my hands go. "I thought I lost you B. I thought you died. I almost killed him. I did. But you told me to stop. And I did. For you."

I stared into his eyes, eyes so full of regret and sorrow. "I'm here E. You didn't lose me. And I'm glad you didn't kill him. He deserves to rot in jail for the rest of his life."

"I knew you would say that. Do you want to talk about what happened?" He was so sincere and had the best intentions, but I couldn't talk about it right now. Later, when I was done physically healing I would start the process of mending my mind.

"Not yet. Tell me though, what condition am I in? My body feels like it's been ran over with a semi or something." I tried to laugh but was cut off by the sharp pain in my side.

Edward's eyes went wide, but I shrugged it off.

"Umm.... well, you have a 3 inch incision on the side of your head from the surgery, and a fractured bone under your left eye, and of course I'm sure you _feel_ your black eye. Umm...the rest of your face and neck are bruised along with your collarbone, and your arms. You have two broken ribs, and bruises covering your thighs and hips. And your nipple where the ring sits was...tore pretty bad...B.... what happened? What did he do to it?" His voice was pained. It was such a private area James had touched and I knew it was killing Edward to know that another man had put his hands on me in _that_ way.

The memories were clear in my head, and I remembered the pain in that moment making me cringe. "He...umm...saw the piercings...and umm...he twisted it...and the more he twisted it...the more I screamed...and he.... loved to hear me scream." I swallowed back a little bit of bile at the thought and shut my eyes not wanting to see Edward's reaction.

His grip on my hand tightened and I opened my eyes to meet Edwards. They were full of tears again that were falling over his beautiful face. His eyes looked broken and empty.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there B. I promised to take care of you, and I didn't. Please forgive me, please. I love you so fucking much! I'm so sorry, baby." Edward dropped his head in defeat as his body shook as he cried.

I cradled his head in my chest as he cried. "I'm the one that was so fucking stupid baby. What was I thinking going out so late by myself? _I'm_ the one that should apologize. I promise I will _never_, ever go out alone like that ever again. I love you too E. So fucking much! Please don't blame this on yourself. We aren't going to get anywhere if you continue to blame yourself for what happened to me." I kissed his forehead before he looked up and nodded once at me.

"And I promise to never _let_ you go out like that alone again." A small smile played along his lips, but didn't reach his eyes.

A knock on the door brought us out of our conversation, and I saw Carlisle in the doorway.

"Bella, its so nice to see you awake!" He smiled as he walked closer, reading my chart and checking the machines. "How are you feeling?" He rubbed his hand up my leg comfortingly just like a father.

"Sore, but better. A lot better. When can I go home?" I wasn't going to beat around the bush. Carlisle or no Carlisle, I was going to make it perfectly clear what my wishes were.

"As soon as I give you the clear, _and_ if you can keep some food down, I don't see why you can't go home. I'm sure Edward won't leave you out of his sight at all. Probably take better care of you than you get here." He laughed dryly as he rubbed Edward's shoulder.

A nurse brought in a tray of toast and applesauce a while later, which I slowly ate, not wanting to vomit if I ate to fast. Carlisle sat and talked with Edward while I ate, and an hour later, the food was still sitting well in my stomach and I was hopeful that I would get the clear to get out of this place once and for all.

I had been awake for several hours and was ready to get the hell away from the white walls. Carlisle's a doctor; he should have _some_ pull around here.

"So...what do you think Carlisle? Can I go home now?" I wanted to leave and was making it as apparent as possible.

"Well, I guess I'm going to have a hard time finding reasons to make you stay, so I will send in a nurse to get your IV out. Why don't you get dressed and wait for me." He stopped and looked at Edward. "There's something I need to talk to the two of you about and I think now is about the best time as any."

"OK." Is all I could get out. From the looks of Edward, he didn't know what it was about either. I figured that he needed to go over my after care and injuries and all that jazz, but deep down knew there was more to it than just that.

The nurse named Kate, whom Edward seemed to know well came in and took my IV out. The beeping of the machines stopped and I thanked the heavens for killing the annoying sound.

Kate helped me dress in some clothes that Alice had brought me. A pair of loose fitting yoga pants, a t-shirt and Edwards 'Cullen' sweatshirt. She was really sweet and caring, and helped me with the uttermost caution over my bruises and ribs.

I declined the bra knowing how much more pain it would add to my already sore nipple. I made my way to the bathroom and groaned in pain as I tried to pee. Edward was immediately in there trying to be off any assistance, but I couldn't bear to ask him to help me. It didn't bother me to let him see me in the bathroom, but to ask him to help me…uh…wipe was a different story.

After I was all done in the bathroom, Edward propped himself on my bed while I laid into his side, careful of my ribs as we cuddled like I had imagined for so long.

Carlisle came in a few minutes later with Esme at his side. She enveloped me in a loose hug careful not to touch my injuries and kissed my head before pulling away.

"Bella, Edward, I know that there is doctor/ patient confidentiality, but I thought I would have Esme sit in with us if that's alright." He looked at us as we both nodded.

Edward sat us up and wrapped his arm around my waist as he took hold of my other hand that was sitting between my legs. He was very cautious of my injuries and knew my body better than I could have imagined.

Carlisle scratched his head nervously not wanting to make eye contact as he shut the door and took a seat in front of us, Esme at his side.

"Bella, I wanted to wait until you were coherent to talk to the two of you together. I didn't think it would be fair if I told Edward first." Carlisle looked at Esme to gage her reaction, she clearly didn't have a clue of what was going on either.

"Told Edward what?" I said as tears streamed down my eyes preparing myself for the worst but hoping for the best. Edward's grasp tightened on my side, and even though it hurt like hell over my bruises, I wasn't going to tell him to let go. He was bracing us for what Carlisle was going to say next and I needed him to hold me together in any way he could.

"I'd like to ask you a few questions, if that's alright." I nodded for Carlisle to continue, wanting to know what he was getting at. "Bella, how have you been feeling lately? Any shortness of breath, feeling overly tired, dizziness or feel like your heart is going a mile a minute?" Carlisle was looking through my file and jotting notes down.

"All the time. Actually, it's been like that for the past few months. We've been so busy with Rose and the baby, the shop and our trip to Vegas. I've been wearing myself out. I know I gotta take better care of myself. I need to get caught up on my sleep." I wondered how he knew all of this seeing as I hadn't said anything, and I didn't realize that Edward noticed my tiredness. I figured I just needed to get back in shape, hadn't hit the gym for a few months or something.

Carlisle just stared at me for a few minutes with eyes that were so full of sadness that I had to look away. My heart sunk and I fell further into Edward's side as I started to put two and two together with _some_ of my symptoms that I had given.

I knew what Carlisle was about to tell us.

I felt it, just by looking in his eyes.

"Did you guys know that...you were… pregnant?"

I looked over at Edward who was looking back at me. His eyes were full of tears and a small smile formed on his face. He looked back over to his father for clarification. "What?"

Carlisle continued. "Well, from the looks on your faces, you didn't know. From my calculations and tests I took, I would say you were about 3 months along or so."

A thrill of joy went over my body at the thought of being pregnant, and my hands immediately went for my stomach.

Then dread set in at the words he had used and the look on his face.

"W-what do you mean _'were'_ 3 months along Carlisle?" I stared at his face that was now streamed with tears.

Edward didn't say anything, but his grip tightened on my side and I cried out in pain. He loosened his hold only slightly and began to shake. I couldn't even look at him, knowing the look on his face would be enough to make me completely lose any amount of sanity I had left.

"I'm sorry Bella. The baby... didn't... make... it. The...attack.... it was too much… it took a toll on your body...and you...you had a miscarriage. On top of that, your blood type is RH-negative and the fetus' was RH-positive. From the looks of your injuries, you were struck in the stomach, causing your blood to mix with the fetuses. Your antibodies attacked the fetus's red blood cells. You lost a lot of blood, and by the time we realized that you were pregnant, it was to late. I also think you have what is called Supraventricular tachycardia (SVT). It's when your heart beats to fast for reasons other than normal circumstances. I would assume that due to your situation you were pretty overwhelmed and it probably brought on an attack, which made your body start to shut down. The injuries to your head were the doctor's first priority and if they would have known you were pregnant, they could have tried to stop the bleeding and given you meds to slow your heart rate. I'm so sorry Bella, Edward." Carlisle looked defeated with the information he had given us. Much like I felt.

My body gave out on me as I looked to Esme who had her hand over her mouth and clenched Carlisle's leg at the fact that she _was_ going to be a grandma to our child, and now she wasn't. My head became heavy as I leaned all my weight into Edward. His body wasn't the only one shaking now.

I heard a high-pitched screaming, and wondered where it was coming from. Tight arms wrapped around my own, and I realized that the screaming was coming from me.

My hand, which was still around my stomach, grasped tighter, thinking about Edward and my baby that was alive in there only 2 weeks ago.

I didn't even _know_ I was pregnant.

I tried to think back on anything that would have told me I was pregnant. I didn't have regular periods, so not having one for 3 months was not unusual. But the headaches, the…what I thought was the flu and being starving hungry all the time, and....the late night craving for ice cream. Oh!

I cried into Edward's chest as he held me tight. He didn't say anything, just held me as close as possible trying to comfort me, and also trying to find comfort for himself. I didn't care what pain his arms caused me. I _welcomed_ the pain, hoping that it would dull my other senses.

EPOV

Bella _was_ pregnant with our child.

Our chances of even conceiving a child were slim to none, and the small window that we were given, she had gotten pregnant.

And James took our dream away.

I held Bella as she cried into my chest, screaming in pain. I held her tightly, but she didn't try to get away from my grasp needing the comfort just as much as I did.

She was screaming over the loss of our child.

_Our child._

I cried right along with her as she clung to me for dear life.

I was her life preserver as she was mine.

I didn't think things could get any worse than my fiancé getting beaten almost to death and attempted to be raped, but then he had to take our child away from us too.

Carlisle went on to explain that what Bella had was known as RH Sensitization. If she had known she was pregnant, she would have gone in and gotten an Rh Immune Globulin shot because of her blood type. But we didn't _know_ she was pregnant. And even if she _had_ gotten the shot, the attack would have been too much on her. And then he explained SVT a little more in depth and told me what to watch for and that she would need to go on medication to control it. I tried to listen the best I could knowing that Bella wasn't able to comprehend anything right now. My mind was in over load with the news that we were pregnant, and then we lost the baby, and now that Bella has a rare disease, which can make her body shut down if not treated.

I didn't know how much more I could take in one day.

Carlisle gave me a few prescriptions for Bella and told me he was going to keep this between us, that we could tell everyone else in our own time. He explained that Bella would need to take it easy for a while to let her body heel, which I already knew. They typically didn't let people out of the hospital right away after a miscarriage, but Bella had already been here for almost two weeks and that part of her body was healing. Carlisle and Esme gave us each a kiss and made their way out of the room so we could have some privacy.

Bella and I were left to cry by ourselves. Cry for the trauma she had just been through and the loss of our child.

After a few more minutes I realized we needed to get home. She would be more comfortable in our own home so we could grieve together.

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her forehead.

"B? Are you ready to go home sweetie?" She nodded in agreement and I stood us up, her body leaning heavily into my side. I tried to be careful of her injured body. I grabbed the few things I had sitting around and threw them into a duffle bag that I slung over my shoulder, and figured that Alice could come in and grab the rest of the flowers and shit to bring home for us. Nothing else mattered right now. I just wanted to get my fiancé home so we could deal with this in our own way.

Bella refused to let go of me to get in a wheel chair and was too weak to walk, so I picked her up and carried her in my arms. Her arms were wrapped tightly around my neck never loosening their hold. I tried to be as careful with her fragile body as I could, knowing that my hold on her were causing her pain.

Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett were in the waiting room and stood when we passed them all anxious to see Bella now that she had been awake for most of the day. Distraught looks crossed their faces as I tried not to make eye contact and kept moving towards the door. I'm sure the scene in front of them caused those looks, but in that moment the only thing I was worried about was getting my Bella home.

I gave my dad a nod, and carried Bella slowly to my car, which Emmett had drove over for me sometime in the last week. I helped her ease in and buckled her seat belt for her. I made it over to my own side took a deep breath and got in. We sat there for several minutes in silence. Bella's hands were in her lap as she stared at the floor. Her entire body shaking, face blank with no emotion.

I dried my eyes and drove us home. I held her hand in my own as we drove in silence.

We pulled into the parking garage and sat there. She didn't want to let go of my hand, and I had to pry her little bruised hands off my own. Finally, I was able to get her to let go. I left everything in the car and went around to her side to get her out. She wasn't moving, frozen in shock.

I carefully pulled her out and carried her up to our apartment as she laid in my arms dead weight.

We made it into our apartment, and as soon as I shut the door, she began crying again, but insisted that I let her down. I did as she requested, as she fell to the floor on her knees. I went down with her as she reached her arms around my neck and pulled me tightly to her again.

She was shaking so hard that I didn't know what to do to help her.

All I could do was cry with her.

We stayed there, in the entryway of our apartment for hours, just holding one another grieving for our baby.

No words were spoken.

There were no words _to_ speak.

Our baby was gone because of James.

He tried to take my Bella away from me, and almost succeeded, but in the process took the precious life that we didn't even know existed yet.

How were we supposed to recover from this?

_Were_ we going to recover?

**A/N: PLEASE don't hate on me! If you think about this situation realistically, Bella and Edward's baby wouldn't have made it through that horrid attack.**

**SVT and RH Sensitization are real. Google them if you want more information. THANK YOU Miiss Myers for your help with this hard subject! I don't know what I would do without you!**

**Please know that this chapter was really difficult to write and I know that some of you are going to be upset with the miscarriage, but just think about it a little before you go sending me hate mail. **

**I do promise that there will be NO further bad things that happen to our dear Bella. How much more could she take? From here, Bella and Edward are going to work on healing together, which is going to be a process, but know that they will stick together and get through things as a couple. **

**There is good to come for our favorite duo.**

**I can't tell you how thrilled I am that we made it over 500 reviews with that last chapter. Writing is really personal to me and I am just excited and overwhelmed that a good majority have taken the time to read and review the chapters. I just…ugh! Thank you! *tears running down my cheeks***

**There are almost 300 people that have this story on their favorites. If you could each shoot over some love by pushing that green button down there, you'd make my day!**

**Next chapter is all EPOV and I'll even sneak a little teaser your way if you show me some love.**

**Thank you all my lovelies!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hi all. I know the last few chapters have been hard, bear with me; things will get better for our two favorites.**

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. _Almost_ everyone took that better than I could have ever hoped for. Big thanks also to those who just started reading and stayed up till the wee hours of the morning to catch up. You know who you are _and_ what big smiles you gave me!**

**Just so everyone knows, Edward and Bella will NOT be breaking up because of what happened, they will only move forward from here, TOGETHER. I actually had an anonymous review telling me that they should just break up and move on. Not gonna happen. Sorry. Well I'm not really sorry; I want them to stay together so I won't let them break up.**

**There are tears in this chapter, a Kleenex box would be good to have handy, but it's only because our Edward is trying to come to terms with what happened.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own a good wet pile of tissues.**

Chapter 24: The Longest Day

EPOV

_(Continued on from Bella's first night home from the hospital.)_

We had been on the entryway floor of our apartment for what seemed like hours. No words had been spoken since we returned home. There was nothing I could say to make Bella feel better right now, so instead I held her as she fell apart in my arms over and over again. I knew I needed to get Bella in bed so she could be more comfortable but she wouldn't let me go. I could tell she was in physical pain, however she wouldn't allow herself to care.

"B? Sweetie, we gotta get up. This isn't good for you right now. We need to take care of your body. I know you're hurting and you need to let me care for you." I kissed the side of her head and brushed the hair away from her incision gently, noticing that it was healing well.

Bella clung to my neck not wanting to release me to stand. I grabbed her wrists and as gently as I could, loosened the death grip she held on me. Slowly she released me and her hands fell to her lap defeated. She looked up at me; her eyes making my heart shatter into a thousand pieces. They were bloodshot, swollen and broken. The injuries to her left eye had increased due to the amount of crying she had done, her eye so swollen I would be surprised if she could even see out of it.

"E? I hurt. I hurt so fucking bad!" She whispered, her body so physically exhausted she was unable to do or say anything else. "Take the pain away. Please! You gotta take the pain away. Make it go away!"

I got to my feet as her arms wrapped around my legs; scared I was going to leave her. Leaving Bella right now was the farthest thing from my thoughts, knowing that I wasn't _ever_ going to leave her again.

"I'm not going anywhere Angel, please know that. We need to get up now so that I can take care of you. I know you hurt and I'll try to take the pain away as much as I can, you're my only concern now, Bella. My only concern." Just two weeks ago, I would have had another life I was responsible for, but now it was only Bella. I swallowed the thick lump in my throat praying that I would be able to keep it together long enough so that Bella didn't see me falter.

"I hurt. My body I mean. Every part of my body aches, but my heart. It… it's too much. I feel...I feel like its been ripped out and I'm empty." Her hand went for her chest, holding it there tightly as her body convulsed with the torture she was going through thinking of the child we had lost.

She started to hyperventilate and it took me several minutes to calm her down so she didn't injure herself worse. Each deep breath she took, she winced in pain from her broken ribs, but she couldn't stop, and I didn't know how to make it stop.

It killed me to stare into her eyes to get her attention. Her face was so badly bruised, not my Bella's Angel face. I loved her so damn much, but to see her like this right now was more than I could physically or mentally handle.

I bent down wrapping my arms under her knees and waist and picked her up and started walking towards the bathroom while she wrapped her arms around my neck once again, holding her body tightly to mine. Her grip around my neck was sure to leave marks, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Bella was here, in my arms, safe, and well I don't know how much I believed this, but ok. She was living, and that was so much more than I could have asked for.

"I know Angel, so does mine." The tears blurred my vision thinking about why her heart hurt so badly. My own chest was burning with the pain that we were both feeling. I had to make Bella feel better; I had to take some of the pain away for her. "How about a nice hot bath? I bet that would feel nice. You haven't had a real chance to get cleaned up since this all happened and I bet it would relax your muscles a little." A warm bath and getting her to bed were about the only two things I could offer to comfort my girl at this time, but I would do anything to physically heal her. Emotional healing was another story and I was at a loss of where to go with that.

"You won't leave right?" Bella's sad eyes looked up at me waiting for my answer. They were so distraught; I wondered if she really thought I was going to leave her alone, even for a moment. A few weeks ago, I would have joked with Bella for sounding clingy, but not now. I would never make Bella feel bad for wanting me to be there for her again. She needed me just as much as I needed her.

"I won't ever leave you, baby." She winced at the name I had said to her so many times, and I made a mental note to not use it again for a long while. I should have known that it would cause her more pain to hear. I set Bella down on the toilet carefully so I could start the water for her bath. She groaned in pain as she finally was realizing what sitting on the floor hunched over had done to her battered body. "I think we need to get your meds though. A little percocet would feel pretty good right now I bet." I gave her the best smile I could and kissed her hand.

_A little percocet for myself wouldn't feel half bad right now either._

She nodded in agreement.

"I'm just going to go call Alice to get your meds ok?" I stared into her eyes making sure she knew I wasn't leaving for good.

"Ok, I need a personal minute anyways." She looked down at the toilet and I understood that she wanted some privacy.

I kissed her head again as I made my way towards the door. "I'll just be outside the door if you need me ok?"

She nodded again, and I shut the door so she could have her personal moment. In the hospital I heard her cry in pain when she was trying to go to the bathroom, but refused to let me help saying she was fine. More like embarrassed, but at this point I would do anything for her. Even if that meant helping with her 'personal moments'. I loved this girl more than my own life, a few embarrassing moments weren't going to change that one bit.

I called Alice and she was over before I could put the phone down. Knowing her, she was probably pacing around since she returned home waiting for some news. She knocked lightly on the door and let herself in. Her tear filled eyes met mine as she ran into my arms and buried her head in my chest as I wrapped my arms tightly around my little sister. Alice always had this calming affect on me and right now I needed her more than ever.

"What's wrong Eddie? Mom and dad said you guys would tell us when you're ready. But…I know that it has to be pretty serious the way you and Bella left." Her tears poured over and down her cheeks as she took a hold of my hand and stepped back.

I wiped my eyes, because of course I was crying _again_. I don't think I had ever cried this much in my entire life. Not when I was left on the doorstep by my birth parents, or when I hit rock bottom with drugs. Not even when I was fighting and got the shit beat out of me time and time again.

"I'll tell you all later. But for now, I need you to go get Bella's meds filled. Please? She's in a lot of pain, and I was a dumb fuck and didn't think to stop on the way home." Just another thing we can add to the fuck up file that I'd created for myself.

"Of course E. Anything you need. Just let me know." I handed her the scripts and my credit card, which she adamantly denied.

"Did you grab all of her stuff from the hospital?" I knew she did but felt I needed just a few more minutes to talk to her even if it was about trivial things.

"Yup, it's all at my place. I'll bring it by when you're ready. Everyone's just sitting there waiting for some answers. I know you'll tell us when you're ready. Please tell Bella how much we all love her. And you too Eddie. How can we help you guys? I think I speak for everyone when I say that we are going crazy not knowing what's going on." She grabbed my hand rubbing my palm.

"Just give us a little time. I gotta take care of Bella. She..." My voice gave out on me, and I swallowed hard. "_We_...are going to need some time to get through this...." I heard Bella cry out in pain cutting me off mid sentence and ran for the bathroom door. "I gotta go Tink. Thanks!"

Alice made her way out as I opened the door to the bathroom and found Bella sitting on the toilet holding her side, her face twisted in agony. Her pants were half way down her legs and I think she was trying to get undressed on her own. Typical Bella, not wanting to ask for help.

I knelt in front of her and removed the rest of her pants for her as I shut the water off in the full tub. She went for her sweatshirt, and my hands stopped her.

"Let me take care of you sweetheart." I gave her a kiss on the forehead before looking her in the eyes waiting for the ok to continue.

Her hands dropped and allowed me to take over knowing that she would only cause herself more pain if she did it on her own. I reached under her sweatshirt and pulled her arms out as gently as I could one at a time. I then did the same for her t-shirt until she was sitting completely naked in front of me.

I'm not gonna lie and say that her body didn't make me ill to look at, cause it did. She wasn't _my_ Bella. Her body wasn't _hers_.

Bella's body was covered in yellow and brown healing bruises, and the area over her broken ribs was still swollen. She had gauze over her breast and I removed it as gently as I could, knowing the dressing would need to be changed anyways. Her nipple was scabbed over and purple, and her thighs and upper arms and neck were darker brown and yellow from more bruises.

I swallowed the vomit that was in my mouth, trying not to let her see my staring. I didn't mean to stare, but it was hard not too. The fucker had made her perfect flawless body look like _this_. I wished in that moment that Emmett _had_ let me kill him. Actually, I had wished that exact thought over and over since my eyes first landed on Bella laying in that alley.

Bella's bones were protruding through her skin and I wanted to weigh her to see how much she had lost. She needed to eat that was for sure. Her body was a skeleton, a shell of what it had been. She was quickly loosing the curves I knew and loved. I know it wasn't intentional and that she had no choice, but the feeding tube that she had in the hospital basically kept her alive and that's all. She needed something of substance and a lot of it.

My eyes landed on her flat stomach that up until two weeks ago was holding our child. For just a moment I imagined what it would look like with a little bump. What it would look like when she was as big as Rose.

I swallowed the knot that was forming in my chest as I tried to will the thought from my mind.

She caught me staring at her and began crying again. Shit. I was an ass. I wrapped my arms around her the best I could and kissed her head.

"Shit...please don't cry Angel." I tried to comfort her, rubbing her arms gently but I don't think it would matter what I said to her right now. I royally fucked myself for the way I took in her body.

"I'm hideous! Your eyes say it all E." She cried harder as her body began to shake.

"No B. You're not hideous. Yes, it is a lot to take in, but you will heal. You're bruises are already getting better. I'm sorry for staring, but sweetie, we gotta get some food in you. Your bones are popping through your skin. A good juicy burger and fries is definitely calling your name." I tried to crack a small joke, but she wasn't with me, to wrapped up in my staring.

She continued her silent sobs, and I was out of ideas to make her feel better. "I'm sorry E. I'm sorry you have to look at me like this. If I could take a bath on my own I would, but I cant, and…"

I put my finger under her chin and kissed her lips. "You're beautiful. Always have been and always will be. I don't think of you any different, gorgeous. All of this," I ran my hands down her body. "will heal. It's just going to take some time. How about your bath now? I promise it will feel good."

"You come too? Right?" Her brown doe eyes looked like a scared little girl, and I knew I would have to work on reassuring her that I wasn't going anywhere.

"With those eyes, how could I resist?" She cracked a small smile. It didn't reach her eyes, but I took it. It was the first glimmer of hope I had yet to see.

I helped her ease into the hot tub of water and listened as she moaned as the heat surrounded her. I stripped my clothes off as she settled her body in. I texted Alice and asked her to pick us up some food while she was out. I hadn't been home in almost two weeks, and wasn't sure what was in the fridge and didn't want to spend my time cooking while my attention would be better put to use on Bella.

When we got home, I didn't really look around but when I went to call Alice I was able to see that the apartment was spotless, all laundry washed and fresh sheets on the bed. Alice. That's all that needed to be said.

I had a lot of time to think the last few weeks and realized how much my family meant and what they did for us. I would never be able to repay them for all that they did and the support they had shown. But I also knew that they would never want anything in return. They did all of this solely out of love for the two of us.

I stood before the tub bare naked in front of Bella as she stared at me. There was no lust in her eyes, and there didn't need to be. This was not the time and we both knew it. I hadn't thought about anything romantic since this whole thing happened. I just wanted Bella to feel better. I didn't need her in that way right now, as I'm sure she didn't need me.

I got in and sat behind Bella with her back leaning into my chest. She moaned again as I rubbed my hands up her back. I smiled at the sound of her moan. It wasn't a sexual moan, more a content moan, her body slowly relaxing. Again, it wasn't much, but it was something. She wasn't crying or shaking and I considered it progress in the right direction. I grabbed her loufa and freesia body wash and began to wash her back as she continued to moan in appreciation.

"Does that feel good B?" I continued to soap up her back, running my hands over her neck and her tattoo. _That_ tattoo. I had to swallow again, knowing the meaning behind it and how I failed her.

I would never let her be hurt again. I would take care of my Bella; protect her.

"Mmmmm..... it feels so good E. I was almost embarrassed that you were with me so long at the hospital. I mean sponge baths don't exactly make you feel _clean_." Another little laugh. Thank you God.

"B. I didn't give a fuck what you smelled like in the hospital as long as you woke up." I kissed her neck as her head rocked back. "That's all I wanted, all I prayed for."

"Thank you. Thank you for everything you've done for me." She grabbed my hands and wrapped them around her shoulders to bring us closer. I leaned in and placed my head in the crook of her neck hoping I wasn't hurting her worse with the pressure on her body.

"I would do anything for you B." I kissed her neck again. "_Anything_."

"I know. And… I'm so sorry… for leaving that night. I won't ever do something that stupid again." I felt her body start to shake again and I held her tighter, as tight as I could without causing her further pain.

"I'm never letting you go again B. I know you think I'm going to be to over protective, but I'm never letting you leave my side again. I don't care if James is behind bars or not. Never again."

She kissed my hand and leaned into my touch. "That's good, because I don't ever _want_ you to leave me alone. I was stupid to think I could go out like that by myself. I'm prone to dirt bags and know now that I shouldn't be left alone."

"You aren't stupid Bella. You're the smartest woman I've ever met. I hate to say this, but I think James would have tried to find you one way or another and he…God, this sounds awful to say but I hope you know what I mean, but I think he just got lucky that night." My eyes burned as the tears were back.

"I think you're right. What's…what's happening to him now?" Her voice was a whisper once more.

"James is in jail awaiting sentencing. His trial's in two weeks. You don't have to go, but I want too. I'll make sure Emmett or Jasper stay with you while I'm gone. You can just give your statement ahead of time or something." So much for the not leaving her plan, but there was no way that I would be missing that fucker getting sentenced and smiling away as the judge read the verdict.

"No! No, I'm going. I have to go. I have to see for myself that he's going away. For good." Her voice became frantic as she pushed away from my body and tried to look at me, but her injuries didn't allow for such fast movements, and she ended up hurting herself worse.

"Do you think that's such a good idea B?" I wasn't sure myself if she could handle it. I wasn't sure _I_ could handle her in the same room with that sick fuck.

"Yes. Yes I do." Her answer was simple and I didn't push it.

"We'll talk about it later Angel, ok?" I kissed her head and rocked us a little trying to relax her tense body.

She nodded and we were both quiet for several minutes. "E? I'm sorry that you missed so much work. Are things going to be ok? I have savings, I mean, I don't want you to have to dip into anything you know."

She was worried about money? She was worried about money after everything that happened? That was the least of my worries. Of course she would be worried about me instead of herself. But money and the shop were the last two things on my mind. I guess I really hadn't been very up front about just how big my trust fund was from my Grandpa Mason. But now was not the time to go into details. And even if I didn't have my bank accounts I wouldn't have cared if I lost everything I owned just as long as she came back to me.

"B. I don't give a fuck about money. We are going to be fine. I've got it covered. No worries ok?" I didn't want to make her angry, but knowing that she was worrying about money and work when she just returned from spending nearly two weeks in the hospital was just ridiculous to me.

She nodded again. I let it go. There was no reason to fight about something as petty as money when it was her health I was more concerned about.

We sat there like that a few more minutes before continuing on with her bath. I washed her hair and was ever so careful around her incision, then washed the rest of her body for her. She was adamant that her legs be shaved; even though I told her countless times I could give two shits less. After trying herself she gave up and let me.

I could tell how much pain she was in, and pulled myself out first, wrapping a towel around my waist, before lifting Bella out. I sat her on the toilet again and dried her body off. I wrapped her in a towel and combed through her hair while she watched me as I took care of her. There was a look of adoration in her eyes as she watched me. She looked calm and relaxed for the time being.

I ran to the bedroom quick and pulled on a clean pair of boxers and flannel pants and found her some panties, silky pajama pants and one of my long sleeved shirts than hung loosely on her small frame. Her eyes twinkled at my choices. Another glimmer of hope.

I helped her get dressed and walked with her out to the kitchen. She insisted on walking although I could tell how much she was hurting.

There was a bag from the little deli down the street with sandwiches in it, and all of her prescriptions sitting on the counter. Once Bella was seated, I got her a glass of juice and some well needed meds. She looked at the food and grunted.

"You need to eat or you're going to be sick sweetie." I handed her the pills and she gladly took them.

I watched as she ate, finishing her sandwich and bowl of soup but I could tell that she was only eating because I was with her. I finished mine quickly as she started to nod off.

"Do you want to go to bed Angel? You need rest so we can get you better." I cleaned up our garbage and wrapped my arms underneath her knees and around her waist and carried her into the bedroom.

"I just hurt so bad E. I just want the pain to go away." Her eyes were full of tears again, mine burning at the sight of her starting to break down again.

I kissed her forehead as I laid her down, bringing the comforter up around her neck and wrapping it around her. I wrapped her in my arms, mindlessly running circles across her stomach.

"I wish I could take all your pain away B. But I can't. I'm sorry." My eyes blurred once more as the tears fell freely.

"I know. But I...I'm just so...so..." Her words became softer as she started to fall asleep.

She didn't say anything further as she drifted off in my arms. My Angel was back home in my arms, just like everyone promised.

This was all I wanted, all I prayed for in the last two weeks. My mind ran wild once more, but this time it wasn't because I didn't know if she was going to make it, it was because I was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that two weeks ago Bella was carrying my child and James took him from us and now we were hear, trying to pick up the pieces of our lives.

I was angry, furious, hurt, tortured, pained. I could feel the last two weeks, the stress, the sleepless nights, and the nightmares all starting to take their toll. I couldn't sleep now. I couldn't shut my mind off from thinking. All I wanted to do was shut it off.

I needed to be here for Bella. She needed me, and I wasn't going to let her down again.

I laid there for an hour with Bella in my arms, listening to her breathe, wiping the stray strands of hair away from her face and kissing every place I could without moving her.

My body grew restless and I slid out of bed as quietly as I could and made my way to the living room. I found beer in the fridge, God Bless Alice, and grabbed myself 2 and made my way over to the living room. I lit up a cigarette and took a long pull, letting the nicotine relax me the best it could.

I wanted something stronger, but knew that it wouldn't help Bella to see me like this. I drank my beer and stared at the wall. Stared at it and thought about James. The fire was burning in me once again, and I felt like I was going to loose control. I had to get out of here for a few minutes so that Bella wouldn't here me when I finally let myself go.

My mind was torn. I didn't want to be away from Bella, but I knew she didn't need to see me like this. My angry side won out and I knew it was for the best.

I grabbed my smokes, set the alarm, triple checked the locks and headed over to Alice and Jaspers. Not even knocking I let myself in, and found them and Rose and Emmett in the living room just sitting there. Not doing anything.

It was late, and I was fucking tired. My body was ready to give out on me and my mind was about to take me over.

Jasper and Emmett stood when they saw me and I stopped, taking a deep breath and letting it go. I made my way over to the couch and sat down next to Alice. She wrapped me in a tight hug once more, as I sat there with my hands at my sides. I didn't have the energy to even hug her back.

"How is she E?" Jaspers voice was shaky.

I looked over to find his blood shot eyes looking back at me. "I got Bella to eat something and she's sleeping. She's...in a lot of pain, and needs to rest. I just...I needed to get out of there for a minute...for just a minute." I ran my hands through my hair as I leaned over my knees rest my arms on them cradling my head in my hands.

I felt like shit for leaving her, but knew that she was just across the hall and would be out for a few hours at least. That thought alone didn't stop me from glancing back over at the door, listening close for anything.

I felt Alice rubbing my back and I started to cry...again.

"I'll go sit with her for a while Edward. You just relax for a bit ok?" Rose placed her hand on my arm as I looked up at her and gave her a half smile.

I threw her my keys and told her to call me if Bella woke. Rose knew the security code to let herself in.

Emmett grabbed a cigarette and lit it for me as I took pull after pull.

"You gotta give us some answers E. Mom and dad didn't say shit and we seen they way you guys left. Something more is going on." Emmett cracked his fingers one by one, a nervous habit of his.

"I...we...fuck." I ran my hand through my hair as I tried to find the right words. Alice was still at my side, Emmett and Jasper pacing. "James.... I thought it couldn't get any worse...but it did. So much worse."

"Edward. You gotta tell us." Jasper's voice was shaky and he was 10 seconds from losing it. He hadn't been able to talk to Bella since she became coherent. He had been there so much while she was out, praying for her to wake up along side me and was broken not knowing what was going on with his best friend.

I looked up at the faces of my family and cried harder. There was no easy way to say what I needed to say, so I just put it out there, my shaky voice and all. "She was pregnant." It came out in only a whisper. My voice cracked and my stomach churned.

Alice sniffled from beside me as Jasper took a seat. Emmett continued to pace.

"The doctors told her that it was almost impossible for her to get pregnant." I barely heard Jasper as he talked to the floor.

"Yeah." What more was there to say?

"Is the baby..." Alice was cut off by Emmett.

"Bella was pregnant? Did you know man? I mean, before all of… this… happened." Emmett stopped pacing long enough to talk and wait for my answer.

I shook my head no. "Dad ran some tests on her at the hospital and told us before we left today. I'm sorry for not acknowledging you guys especially after everything you've done for us, but I had to just…get her home." I chewed on my thumb, tearing at the skin until it bled.

"You said _'was'_ as in past tense." Alice sniffled. I couldn't look up to meet her eyes. I had seen Bella's destroyed eyes enough for one day and couldn't take Alice's.

"She.... we....fuck…we…we lost the baby. The attack was to much on her body and the baby didn't make it." I leaned over resting my head on my legs again as I allowed myself to finally break down, knowing that Bella couldn't see me right now, and that I didn't have to worry about her or how she was going to react. I needed to just let it out, scream, cry, plead for some answers of why this happened to her, to us. I cried as my entire body shook as I let the pain take me under.

No one spoke while my little break down continued. It was eerily silent. Emmett kneeled in front of me and pulled me into his chest hugging me tightly to him. We sat there like that, with Alice on my other side as I cried. I don't know how long I cried before shoving away from Emmett and standing up to pace. I didn't want to hurt my family and I knew that if I stayed there in their arms like that, someone was bound to get hurt.

Jasper was silently hunched over himself on the floor mourning for our loss and for his best friend's pain. He stood when I passed him and placed his hand on my chest, staring into my eyes before pulling me into a tight hug. I wanted to push him back, beat the shit out of something or someone, but I couldn't. I felt my arms going around his arms and holding him tightly to me. The comfort my family held was like nothing else. Bella was the only person that could have made me feel better in this moment, and honestly I wouldn't have asked her to, knowing that I had to help her get through all this.

"I'm so fucking sorry man. I...can't even imagine...what you and Bell are going through right now. She always wanted to be a mom.... and to know she had the chance. Oh God!" He cried into my shoulder as I did the same.

I pulled back and wiped my eyes and grabbed another smoke. I looked over at Emmett with a death glare thinking of _that_ night yet again.

"You should have let me fucking kill him Emm! You don't have to see Bella the way I do! See her torn and broken from what he did to her, her body, our baby. An eye for an eye, right? He took my baby, you should have let me kill the piece of shit that took our baby from us!" I slammed my hand down on the coffee table shattering the glass below me. Somewhere in the back of my mind it registered to me that I was losing it, and that my hand should have hurt, but the only pain I felt was in my heart.

I fell to my knees and held my head in my hands. Alice knelt beside me and wrapped me in her small arms. "It's ok E. It's ok." She repeated that to me over and over as she rocked me back and forth trying to comfort me.

"It's not ok! _Nothings_ going to be OK! Did you not hear what I just fucking said?" I screamed as I got to my feet and kicked the coffee table, making it fly up against the recliner, shoving it back against the wall.

Emmett put his body in front of me so that I wouldn't take out my aggression on anything else. Or maybe he didn't want to see me get hurt. I didn't care if I got hurt, I just wanted to get rid of the pain I felt in my chest and the only way I knew to do that was to get fucked up or fuck something up. He placed his hands on my shoulders calming me the best way _he_ knew how.

I knew I needed to calm down, but I was just so fucking angry.

I looked down at the glass all over the carpet and got to my knees starting to pick shards up. Alice and Jasper were down there as well, and Alice's hand stopped mine.

"I'm sorry. I'll buy you a new one." I said trying to lighten the mood, knowing that I probably looked like a fucking psycho right now.

"No worries." Jasper clapped me on the back and went to get the garbage basket.

I sat back bringing my knees to my chest and rocked as my vision went blurry once more. Alice brought me into a tight hug yet again and I held her with everything I had left in my body.

"I don't know if I can do this! I gotta stay strong for B. But I feel like I'm gonna fall apart any second! I can't let her see me like this, it would just kill her if she seen me break down like this. I can't do that to her." I cried into Alice's shoulder wondering how I could be strong enough for both Bella and myself.

"You're gonna be fine honey. You just gotta take care of each other. You gotta be there for Bella, E. She needs you, but don't feel like you don't have an outlet. You can come to us anytime you need to. We're all here for you and you know we don't judge. I have a few other pieces you can destroy if you really feel like it." She kissed my forehead as I stood and tried to pick up the glass again.

Jasper and Emmett stopped me and I sat back in a recliner. I sat there in a daze watching them move about. I sat there like that for a long time before looking at my phone and realized it was almost 2am and Bella would need more meds. I internally kicked myself for being away from her for so long. I just had to clear my head, think before I seen her again.

I said my good-byes and made my way home. Rose hugged me and I kissed her cheek thanking her. I locked the door and shut the lights off crawling into bed next to Bella. I woke her to give her more meds and she fell back asleep quickly.

I let sleep take me over as my mind seemed ready to power down. My body needed rest, and I needed to be alert in the morning for Bella. I needed to sleep and tomorrow we would work on coming to terms with everything.

I kissed Bella's head once more silently thanking her for coming home to me. I had promised her that I wasn't leaving that hospital without her and I meant it.

We were home.

Together.

My Angel was back in my arms where she belonged.

**A/N: Edward is having a hard time coming to terms with everything that happened. He might need some anger management in the future, but right now, I think his actions are justified for what he is going through.**

**Yes, Edward blames himself for what happened to Bella, and yes, he will get over it eventually, but just give him some time. I can't say this enough, cause I don't want anyone to worry more than they already do, Edward and Bella are only going to get stronger from this. They need to work on their feelings, but that takes time and we need to give them that.**

**One more bummer chapter, and things start to pick up a little again. I PROMISE there is still good to come for these two yet. AND we aren't done so hang in there with me. There is fun to be had later on.**

**Have I mentioned that reviews are like gold in the FF universe? I can't say enough thanks for everyone who has reviewed, and all the lurkers who have come out of the woodwork. Told ya I didn't bite!**

**Push the green button and send me some love, and a Kleenex!**

**Last but not least, anyone excited for New Moon???? Lets just say that my husband has told me on more than ten occasions to shut the hell up about it or he wouldn't be going with me this weekend to see it. Like a good girl, I have kinda shut my mouth…**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hello again. I can't say enough thanks for all the awesome reviews that I continue to get. This story hits home to so many of you and it makes my heart flutter knowing that my little story affects you so much. **

**Things are going to slowly get better for our favorite couple from here on out. Yeah, there probably will be a few more tears, but they need time to process things so, stick with me, I have a happy ending planned, which is still several chapters away by the way. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I just own the rights to my eyes, that ogle Rob every chance I get. **

Chapter 25: Hope

BPOV

I moaned in pain, unsure if I was still asleep or awake yet. I opened my eyes to find light filtering through the bedroom curtains letting me know that it was time to get up and start my day. My body ached in pain and I wanted nothing more than to lay in this bed forever but that wasn't going to help me with facing reality. It took a minute to realize where I was as I nuzzled into the covers a little more and took in the heavenly scent of Edward. I was home. A kiss on the back of my head reminded me that Edward was here. I felt his arm wrap around my waist and rub light circles over my stomach, my imagination wasn't playing games on me for once.

He was with me still. I don't know why, but I thought that maybe I would wake up alone, but I knew I should have more faith in Edward, he wouldn't do that to me, not after everything we had gone through in the last 24 hours.

I tried to roll over to face him but groaned in pain at my broken ribs. They had a way of making themselves known when I tried to do something dumb like roll over. Go figure.

"Baby? You ok?" Edward shifted beside me rubbing my hip ever so lightly, his voice sounding frantic, unsure of what to do.

"It fucking hurts!" I yelled out. I didn't mean to yell, but the pain that shot through me was fierce and I had just a little bit of frustration that needed to be let out apparently. And then he had to go and use _that_ word again. I thought he would have figured out by now that I couldn't handle _that_ word right now. "I don't remember this when I was in the hospital." I said in a snipped tone as I laid my head back down on the pillow trying to catch my breath.

I heard Edward beside me laughing. He laughed at me. He had the audacity to laugh at me when I was in some of the worst pain in my life. _Ass_!

"B. Do you even know the shit they had you on when you were in the hospital?" I didn't answer, my lips pursed and my eyes narrowed at him. _Not the time to push me fucker_. "I take that as a no." Edward ran his hand through his hair, taking interest in the sheets so he didn't have to make eye contact with me.

"Enlighten me E." I groaned as the bed shifted as he stood and walked around to my side to face me as I tried to sit up which ended up being a very weak attempt.

"Well, you were on a morphine drip that I controlled for you. And by the sounds of it, I did a damn good job if you don't remember the pain." I was ready to wipe the smug smile right off his perfect fucking face even though I knew that he wasn't trying to be an ass, it was the way I chose to take it. I felt I earned the right to be a bitch, at least for a while.

I moved to swing my legs onto the floor and screamed as pain shot through my body. Edward's arms were around me at once and I pushed away from him as hard as I could getting more frustrated with the state I was left in.

"Damn it! I'm not incapable!" I said it more to myself than anything, aggravated that I wasn't even able to do something as simple as getting out of the fucking bed by myself. I looked up at Edward's pained eyes and immediately realized how he took it. He thought I was yelling at him for trying to help. Maybe I needed to reign in my inner bitch just a little. "No, that's not what I meant. I'm just so damn frustrated that I can't move on my own without causing more fucking pain!"

He nodded in understanding but released his hold on me.

He looked tired, sad and frustrated. Only a minute ago, he was joking and smiling with me, but I put the nail in that coffin with my shitty attitude.

Maybe I should rethink this bitchy behavior and _not_ use it towards the man that never left my side for my almost two week hospital stay and has taken care of me in every possible way.

Here I have this God that is willing to stay by my side no matter what and I was pushing him away unintentionally.

With a newfound energy, I got my legs to the floor and tried to stand, but as soon as my feet hit the floor I was in agony yet again. I tried to stand to fast and my body wasn't having any of it. I sat back down on the bed and took deep breaths while Edward just watched, his hands twitched and his lips pursed. His eyes showed that he wanted to help, but didn't want to upset me again.

I felt traitor tears making themselves known as they poured down my cheeks. I was so mad at myself for the way I was acting. Edward was just trying to help and he didn't need me acting like this towards him.

Edward knelt down in front of me and took my hands in his as he kissed my tear stained cheeks with a feather light touch.

"B? You gotta let me help you. I know it's frustrating that you can't do this on your own. I know how independent you are, but you gotta let me help. Please don't push me away right now. I-I don't think I can take it. I _need_ you just as much as you need me." His eyes bored into mine as I took in how bloodshot they were. Deep bags under his eyes showed me that he hadn't slept well last night if not at all.

My hand reached out from under his and I cupped his cheek. He leaned into my touch and shut his eyes enjoying the feeling of our connection.

He was still here.

He never left.

He promised me he wouldn't leave and I should have never doubted him.

I took a deep breath and thought about what I wanted to say to him. What I needed to say to make things right.

"I'm sorry E. I don't mean to push you away, but I'm not used to being treated like this. I don't do well relying on others and just want things to go back to normal." I let out a small snicker, laughing at my own joke, knowing that _normal_ wouldn't hold the same meaning as it once did.

Edward kissed my hand that was still in between us and a small smile reached his lips. "I know you don't want to push me away, but you gotta let me take care of you. Now, more than ever. We gotta get you better. You are my only concern now and I have to take care of you." His _only_ concern. Huh. A few weeks ago I wouldn't have even questioned if he had any _other_ concerns, but now, knowing that he could have been concerned about our…uh…I cant even think the word! He could have had another concern.

"Please don't take any of this personal E. I'm just still trying to wrap my mind around everything that has happened. I was assaulted by a guy I thought I would never see again, was basically in a coma for 7 days, then in and out of consciousness for another week, and then the icing on the cake...well...you.... know.... wha" Edward cut me off kissing my cheek knowing that it was going to be waterworks if the word actually left my mouth, which I didn't know if it even could, seeing that I couldn't even _think_ the word.

"I know Angel. You don't have to say it. And I'm still trying to take it all in too. It's hard to believe that all this happened in only two weeks." He dropped his head and looked down at our hands, which were lying in my lap laced together. He then brought his eyes back up to meet mine and I found that they were full of tears. "I thought.... I...lost you...B. I...my...life.... it...it meant nothing to me if I thought you weren't apart of it anymore. God B. I thought I fucking lost you."

His head dropped into my lap as he let himself cry, shaking the entire time. My hands moved to rest on the back of his head, running through his hair letting him have his moment.

I had to remember that I wasn't the only one that had been affected by these events. This was between both of us. We both went through the attack in one way or another. And we both experienced a loss.

Our loss.

Tears flowed freely with those thoughts and we cried together, there on the side of the bed not caring about anything else but the fact that these feelings needed to be released so we could begin to heal together.

I tried to ignore it, but the pain was getting unbearable and I groaned at the position I we were in.

"Med time?" Edward looked up at me and I gave him a small smile and a nod.

He left me there at the side of the bed and was back seconds later with my new best friends that came in the shape of long white pills, and a glass of water.

I stood and leaned into Edward's side as we made our way to the bathroom. He left me alone while I took a minute for myself, which I greatly appreciated. While I was finishing up, I heard voices coming from the kitchen and silently grunted at the fact that I would need to talk with people. I felt like shit and even though I knew it was probably only Jasper, I just didn't feel up to talking with anyone and putting on a fake smile. Jasper would see right through it anyways.

I opened the door and was met by Edward who helped me to the kitchen, keeping me close to his side. Alice and Jasper sat at the island but stood immediately upon seeing me. I felt a little better when I seen that it was just Jasper and Alice, and was actually a little happy to see them. I knew that my family for the majority of the past two weeks had occupied the hospital waiting room, and I owed it to them both for all they did for me during that time.

Jasper held out a chair for me and I eased myself in. I hadn't talked to him since everything had happened and wasn't sure what to say.

Well I hadn't talked to him coherently at least and I knew this was going to be hard for both of us.

He just stared at me, along with Alice. Their eyes were blood shot and I was finding this to be a trend of the people around me. Didn't anyone sleep anymore? Oh right, I was in a coma because I was brutally attacked and lost my…. yeah, I knew why the eyes were what they were.

"Bell. It's so good to see you up, and awake." Jasper looked as if he wanted to hug me, but pulled back with a sad look on his face. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you honey."

I grabbed his hand and took it in mine as I gave him a small smile. "It's ok. I'm not hurt here." I gave his hand a gentle squeeze letting him know that I needed to feel his touch just as much as he needed mine.

Alice kissed my cheek and took my other hand making her presence known. "You look like hell Bella." Edward gave her a death glare thinking that she was going to upset me. At this point, I think Edward would do anything in his power _not_ to upset me just in case I started to cry. I couldn't blame him. My ever-changing moods were in full swing. "What? I'm being serious! Do you think I'm going to lie to her?"

"Can it Tink!" Edward glared at his little sister, then softened a little seeing that I was smiling at the two of them. "I can throw you out as fast as you came in."

Alice rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever Eddie." She turned her attention back to me. "Honey, we need to get you cleaned up you really do look like hell. Do you want me to help you take a shower?"

A shower sounded great. But the standing sounded like hell. I had taken a bath with Edward last night, and I was all for soaking in a warm tub again. It seemed to ease some of the pain last night. Edward sensed my discomfort about the shower and cut in before I could speak.

"I'll take care of her. But thanks Allie." Edward leaned in and gave his sister a kiss on the cheek.

"No, it's fine. But a bath sounds better. The standing bit doesn't necessarily work for me." I looked over at Edward who gave me questioning eyes.

"Are you sure B?" His face was confused and....jealous? Serious?

Was he jealous that someone else was helping me, or because Alice would see me naked? Kid was high if he was getting jealous off the latter.

"E. Don't worry. Alice has seen the twins before. And you get to see them all the time." I gave him a slight wink as he rolled his eyes. I wanted to loosen the mood. It had been so tense between us and it just so happens that the Percocet was taking affect and making me a little loopy. "And you need a break. Go relax for a bit. Alice will take care of me, won't you Tink?"

"Sure I will Bella. I'll go run your bath water and pick out some clothes for you." She ran towards the bedroom as Edward seemed to relax a little.

"Nothing tight!" I yelled the best I could. Knowing the little diva I would have skinny jeans and a halter picked out now that I was out of the hospital. I trusted her clothing choices yesterday, but today...not so much.

"I better go make sure she doesn't try to sneak anything in." Edward gave me a kiss on the head and walked into the bedroom, knowing she would probably try to sneak in a g-string or something. Just what I would need.

It was just Jasper and I left together and the tension in the air was thick.

I looked at our hands that were still together and gripped his tighter.

"Jazz, I'm fine sweetie." I tried to ease his mind, but his eyes grew angry.

"You're not _fine_ Bell. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Your face isn't exactly what I would call _fine_." He practically screamed at me.

"Actually, I try hard _not_ to look, but thanks for reminding me. That's not what I meant." He glared at me to continue. "What I meant was, I'm here. I'm living. And eventually, I will be fine."

Jasper started to shake and I thought he was pissed at me and I was in for a real ass chewing, but when I looked in his eyes, my heart tore just a little more. He was crying. Ugh! As if this couldn't get any worse! I can't remember the last time that I saw Jasper cry. _Oh right, Mama's funeral._

"Bell. I don't know what to say. I don't want to make you feel worse, but.... God Damn It! I'm sorry. I'll stop. I'm just so fucking happy you're sitting here with me right now." Jasper looked down at our hands.

I reached around and wrapped my arms around him as he nuzzled his head into my chest. It wasn't romantic for either one of us. It was out of need. Need to make my brother feel better.

"I know Jazz. And it's ok. I can't imagine what you went through these past two weeks. I already had to go through this with Edward, but you have to know that I am so sorry for going out like that. I was so stupid, and I will _never_ be that dumb again." I kissed his head as he looked at me and gave me a small smile telling me that he was coming back a little.

His hands were on my legs unsure of where to touch. I almost laughed at how he was treating me as if I was a soap bubble. _I guess I kinda was like a soap bubble right now._

I let a small laugh out and groaned at the pain it caused.

Fucking ribs.

"Are you ok?" I nodded. This I was finding to be a normal pain. Well normal since yesterday anyways. "I will agree with you, you were stupid to go out on your own. And I swear Bell; if anyone has a fucking death wish it's you darlin. God, I can't believe that you're the one who's been through hell and back and _I'm_ the one being comforted right now." He laughed at himself. "I'm such a fucking pansy."

"No you're not. You know that this" I hugged him slightly. "is just as much for me as it is for you."

"I know Bell. And Bell? I...Edward told us...about the ba" I stopped him not wanting him to continue. I was appreciative that Jasper was here right now for me, but I just couldn't go into _that_ subject with him right now. "Well I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am."

I nodded letting the tears fall down my cheeks. I couldn't look at him. It would only make things worse.

"Whitlock? Tell me why my girl's crying after I trust her in your hands?" Edward walked back in with Alice following. His eyes were angry and directed at my best friend shooting daggers at him.

I waved Edward off and got on my feet slowly. I was off balance, realizing that the meds were taking effect as Jasper's arm came around me and caught me pushing into my ribs making me groan in pain yet again.

"Honey are you ok?" He asked with distraught eyes.

Edward was on the other side of me waiting for what I needed.

"Yes. I'm fine. My new friends" I shook the bottles. "are treating me very well. _Very_ well. Maybe a little _too_ well." I laughed to myself, but was joined by Edward and Alice, making me realize it _wasn't_ to myself.

"Come on Bella, your bath is ready, and Edward approved your clothes." Alice was standing in the hallway waiting as she flicked off her big brother and stuck her tongue out at him.

Edward's arm wrapped around my waist loosely as he led me to the bathroom.

"Do you need me to help you in, Love?" He kissed my cheek as we entered the bathroom.

"No, I should be fine. Alice will help me. She might be small, but I think she can handle my ass." Edward's eyes shifted in surprise.

"That's not what I meant B." I laughed at him. He thought I was cracking a joke at my weight. No, really I was serious. Alice was a small force to be reckon with.

"I know. It's just the meds. They got me on a good high, that's all. Are you …...are you...leaving?" He had dressed into jeans and a t-shirt while I was talking with Jasper and I immediately worried. I didn't know if I could handle him leaving me right now. Was I ready to be parted from him? _No_. Knowing that he would be just in the other room while Alice helped me in the bath was one thing, but leaving the apartment all together was something totally different.

"I don't have to if you don't want me to. I just thought I would run down to the shop for a few minutes. I haven't been there in two weeks and should go through a few things to bring home to work on. But I don't have to, you just say the words, I can get Jasper to bring a few things home for me later."

I stopped him. I knew that I had put Edward's life on hold for too long and he needed to get back to it at some time. I knew he wouldn't leave me long and I put on my big girl panties and manned up. _A little._ "No, it's fine. Just come home as soon as you can." He kissed my lips softly as Alice grunted being the impatient freak I loved. I must have been pretty convincing as he nodded with his head against mine before pulling back.

"I'll be home before you get out. I promise. And I'll stop and get some food. How about the Chinese you like?"

"Ugh..food." My stomach churned at the thought. Yes, I'm sure it would be a good idea to eat, but did I want to eat? _No_. Food didn't hold any comfort to me. Nothing really did right now.

"Love, you gotta eat. I'm seriously ready to put you on the scale so you can see how much weight you've lost." His eyes were serious and I knew if I didn't agree I would be there in the next 10 seconds.

"Fine. Honey chicken please." He smiled and that seemed to pacify him for the time being.

"Ooh...I want the sesame chicken and fried rice since you're going Eddie." Alice chirped from behind us as she tapped her little foot letting me know that she was bored.

Edward nodded and kissed me again making eye contact with me. "I _will_ be back within an hour ok B?" He was giving me one last chance to let him back out of leaving.

"I'll be here. Naked and all with your sister." I laughed at his face. "Probably not the thought you were thinking huh?" Oh dear Lord, the Percocet was great and all, but it made me lose my filter more than usual.

Edward shook his head no as a small smile crept up his lips, and Jasper made his presence known.

"Maybe not E, but I am _all_ for it, ladies!" Leave it to Jasper to ruin the mood.

Alice glared at him; Edward smacked him in the chest and I gave him an eye roll. "Come on perv. Lets go." Edward said as the boys left us alone.

Alice shut the door and stared at me as I tried to pull my shirt off. No luck. It hurt too much to move.

Alice went for the hem of my shirt and I stopped her.

"Alice, you are going to be disgusted. I already know this. I watched Edward as he stared at me naked last night. But please, don't stare. I really appreciate the help, but I don't think I can take it if you look at me the way he did last night."

She grabbed the hem of my shirt again and started to pull it up. "Of course not honey. And you're not disgusting. Edward would never think so. That's just that wild imagination of yours playing with you."

She glanced at my stomach and chest as the shirt was pulled off and took in my body quickly before making eye contact again. She didn't look like she was going to be sick and I took that as a good sign.

"Bella, the bruises look horrible, I'm not going to lie, but they _will_ heal. Just like _you_ will heal. In time." God Bless the Pixie. I liked that she was honest with me. Not that I wanted _everyone_ to be honest about what shit I looked like, but her opinion wasn't meant to hurt me, and I knew it.

"I know. Its just that, I seen the way Edward looked at me last night and it wasn't the usual look. I mean, I'd like to think that he likes my body, and last night, I know he didn't like what he saw."

"Honey, he's not looking at you like _that_ right now, but does he still think about you like that? Of course he does! He wants to give you some space and let you heal, not just your body, but your mind too. The last thing you need is his horny ass trying to get all up on you and your bruised body. I know you don't need _that_ right now." Alice went for my pants, and I was soon standing there butt naked in front of my little friend.

"I know. And believe me when I say, I'm not thinking about sex right now. At all. But I just want him to still _want_ me." I know he still wanted me, but my mind was going in a hundred different directions right now, most likely due to my little friends that were currently taking all the pain away for me.

"He does. All in time Bella." She looked at my chest and took the bandage off my soar nipple. "We need to clean that with peroxide. Or do you want me to take it out? It might close up and we'd have to do it again, but it's up to you. I guess the hospital left it in so it should be ok."

"Yeah, just leave it in. And I don't think the hospital left it in. I vaguely remember Edward putting all of my jewelry back on me. Something about wanting me the way I should be." Little bits and pieces of the last two weeks were making themselves known.

"The little perv just wanted to put his hands on you, and if he put all of your jewelry back on you" She looked down "and I see that he did, then he really just wanted to get a little feelsky. Perv." She rolled her eyes trying to make me smile.

I didn't think anything of him touching me like that. I'm sure there were many different scenarios playing out in his head while I lay there unconscious, and wanted me the way he remembered... just in case.

"Well I for one am glad he put them all back in. I would never want to go through all that torture again. I vaguely remember a little Pixie coming at me with a nipple clamp and needle wanting to touch my tit."

Alice broke out laughing and nudged me lightly in the direction of the tub.

"I think your little white pill friends are enjoying that free space in your head. Get in. The water will feel good on you."

She helped me in and I sat ever so careful. She wasn't Edward, but she was cautious enough with me that I only groaned here and there.

Alice had rolled up a towel for me to lay my head back on so I did. The water was steaming hot and felt so good along my bruised body. My naked chest stuck out of the water, and for some reason I didn't even feel embarrassed to have Alice see me in all my glory.

She didn't stare at me, just sat there and was my friend. She washed my hair and back and when the water was getting cold, she added more hot water letting me relax a little longer.

Alice brought me up to speed on real life. Emmett had been working a lot at the shop to make up for Edward and Jasper, and Alex had even come back to help. He had enough staff running his shop in California that he was able to help out on an extended stay. Alice told me about Rose and her pregnant self, trying to keep things light. The thought of Rose being pregnant and me not was a bit hard to take, but never the less, I was still happy for my friend. Rose was due soon and according to Alice was ready to pop.

We talked about upcoming details for Alice's wedding and then she grew quiet.

"Bella? Are you guys still having the wedding in August? Or are you going to post pone it for a while with…everything that happened?" I looked down at my left ring finger and twisted my ring.

"I'm not sure. I haven't talked to Edward yet. I don't know if he's going to want to anymore. I mean with everything that happened." I trailed off thinking about the possibilities of him not wanting to get married any longer. Stupid I know, but I just didn't want to assume.

"Bella, you have got to be the dumbest broad alive if you think that man doesn't want to be your husband! I don't ever want to hear you talking like that again. I thought that night you went off by yourself was the dumbest fucking idea that ever went through your mind, but now hearing this, you could get dumber!"

I laughed at the little Pixie in front of me as her cheeks turned red. Steam was about to pore out of them at any second. I held my side as the pain was becoming intolerable.

"You gotta stop Alice! It fucking hurts to much to laugh at you!" Although it hurt to laugh, it felt good to have something to laugh about. Alice could get mad anytime she wanted to just so I had something to take my mind off of what really was going on in my life.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Bella! I wasn't thinking." Her hands began moving trying to comfort me. Silly Pixie.

I relaxed a little longer letting my mind go blank. I would be forever grateful for Alice and what she did for me today. I was still taking it all in and wasn't sure how much more I could handle right now. Her talking about real life was just what I imagined. I was to busy listening to Alice to think about my troubles. I was grateful for the pain the laughing brought; I needed that. When my mind was distracted, I wasn't able to feel the pain of the last few weeks.

That water began to get cold again, and as I tried to sit up, I realized I wasn't moving. Alice tried to grab me around the waist, but pushed into one of the broken ribs and made me scream in pain. I tried to tell her it was nothing, but she refused to touch me after that. Luckily, Edward held true to his word and returned shortly as I screamed out in pain again while trying to pull myself out.

He came running into the bathroom past Alice and knelt down beside me.

"B? What's wrong Angel?"

"I can't get up! That's the fucking problem! Tink got me in, but the slogan 'slippery when wet' totally applies to this situation."

I held out my hand for a little help, and Edward took it and then wrapped his arms under my knees and back, careful of the pressure points he had found over the last few days and lifted me out of the tub. His shirt was completely soaked along with the front of his jeans but he didn't seam to mind.

Once I was on my feet, he wrapped me in a towel. Alice gave him a pat on the back and made her way to the kitchen to give us a moment.

Just like yesterday, Edward dried me off and brought me to the bedroom to change.

He was so good to me. Too good.

But he wouldn't look at my naked body. Deep down I knew that I was dimensional, and that he still wanted me, but I needed to feel his eyes on me like I used to.

I stopped his hands as he pulled my shirt up my arms.

"E? Look at me?" I asked. I needed his eyes on me.

He looked into my eyes, and then kissed me lightly on the lips.

"No, E _look_ at me. _All_ of me."

"Bella..." I grabbed his face and stared into his eyes so that he knew what I really meant.

Edward's eyes went from my mine and made there way down my chest. I knew what he was looking at. The bruises, my swollen rib cage, everything. And as much as it hurt for him to see me like this, I needed it.

"I know how disgusted you must be. I'm sorry. Sorry you have to see me like this. I just wanted you to look at me, but maybe you shouldn't have." My head was down staring at my naked legs. I kicked myself for even wanting him to look at me, his expression so pained.

His finger came under my chin and pushed my face up to look into his eyes.

"B, I would _never_ be disgusted to look at your beautiful body. Yes, I have to admit, it's really hard to take in right now because all I can see is what that monster did to you. But I know that it will all go away. Never think that I don't look at you the same way I always have, and always will."

Tears fell to my cheeks, which he wiped away with his thumb. I leaned into his touch, and when I met his eyes, I noticed that he too, was crying. This became a normal routine for us, and I was ready to put a stop to it. I hated seeing my Edward crying so much, especially because of me.

"I love you E. So fucking much. I'm sorry my head is so all over the place. I can't put into words what I am feeling. I feel good for a few minutes, and then I feel insecure, and sad and depressed. I just gotta get over these feelings and I will be fine."

"_WE_ will be fine." He emphasized my last sentence. "And you have no idea how much I love you B. So fucking much it hurts. We _are_ going to get through this. _Together_. I know it's not going to be easy. But I'm not going anywhere. Not now. Not ever. You're stuck with me for life." He kissed me on the lips once again and I couldn't help but feel the love that radiated between the two of us.

"Thank you. Thank you for loving me. All of me." I cupped his cheek, as he looked deep into my eyes. "When I said that I was broken, I didn't realize how true those words really were. I'm just so lucky to have you. And as much as I want to just push away and be by myself, I know it's not what's good for _US._ And _US_ is what counts, now more than anything."

"Thank you B. And just so you know, I won't _let_ you push me away. I'm not willing to sacrifice _US_. You are my life Bella Swan. I am nothing without you. Without _US_."

I nodded and rested my head into his chest knowing how right he was.

He cupped my left breast in his hand, and lightly touched over my swollen nipple. He placed a soft kiss there, not something that would turn me on, but affection that I was in dire need of. That's all I asked for.

"Your poor nipple. Do you...do you remember me putting all of these back in?" He pointed to my various piercings. I nodded. "They had to take everything out for surgery, but...I.... I.... didn't know what the outcome would be at that time, and I had to have you just the way I remembered you...just in case." I wiped a tear away from his eye as he continued. "And besides...after I knew you would be ok, I knew that you would have wanted me to put them back in so that they didn't all close up. Because then we would have to wait for you to heal, and B, I want you to know right now, that I will wait for you as long as you need, I won't rush you because the last thing on your mind right now probably is sex. But please know that when the time is right, I don't want anything else holding us back. Especially waiting for another piercing to heal." He gave me a faint crooked smile that I had been waiting to see and a glimmer of hope was in his eyes.

He released my breast and placed his hand on my thigh, then kissed me a loving kiss. He pulled away quickly knowing that neither of us needed anything further.

Edward helped me into one of his t-shirts, silky panties that wouldn't ride anywhere I didn't need them too, and black yoga pants that were loose.

We made our way out to the kitchen to find that Alice was dishing up lunch. We ate and talked a little more before she left to go to the shop for a while. Edward set me up on the couch with a pillow and blanket while he sat in the chair next to me working on paperwork for the shop.

Carlisle and Esme stopped by around 4pm. Carlisle wanted to check my ribs to make sure they were healing properly. He had me stand straight up and started poking with one hand while his other was placed on the small of my back holding me up. It wasn't the most comfortable thing I had felt, but I knew I'd had worse before.

"I think if we tape your side it might be a bit more comfortable for you Bella. That way you won't move as much." I nodded and he proceeded to tape my side, which felt like a bitch, but soon after I was flying high again with my next dose of happy pills.

Esme ordered some Italian for supper and we sat around the dinner table to eat, pillows under my ass and all around me.

"Honey, we gotta get you eating again. You've lost so much weight." God love Esme. She was mom and noticed that I barely picked at my pasta only eating a little here and there when Edward was looking. I had no appetite. I knew it would come back eventually but right now, I wish everyone would just let it go.

Edward grunted but didn't look up from his food. Carlisle shot him a knowing glance and Edward just shook his head. I knew what he was thinking. Yes, Cullen I went on the scale after you left this afternoon, and I dropped 15 pounds ok? Happy?

Didn't think so.

We were back in the living room with me spread across the couch, my feet in Edwards lap as he massaged my legs. Esme and Carlisle were on the loveseat.

He had to bring up the one subject I wasn't willing to talk about. Carlisle had asked if we could talk, and wanted to make sure I was fine with speaking in front of Esme and Edward. I couldn't say no, seeing that Edward was going to be my husband in a few months, and Esme was as close to a mother figure that I had.

"Bella? I know this is a really uncomfortable subject to talk about, but Edward had informed us that this was not the first time something like this happened to you." Carlisle tried not to pry but the doctor in him was coming out. I knew he had read my file that was transferred here from Chicago so he knew that I had a not so pleasant past.

I nodded unable to say anything further.

"And this James...he...you.... you were sexually assaulted, am I correct?"

I nodded again.

"You never went to the doctor after…. being assaulted, did you?" His questions were frustrating.

"No." I spoke sternly. This was not the conversation I wanted to be having with my future father in law or at all for that matter.

"I took a look at your charts and they said that you've had sporadic menstrual cycles and that you have an excessive amount of scar tissue. Your doctor in Chicago had indicated that it would be difficult to conceive?"

I nodded again, as Edward's massaging went up my legs a little harder than before. I had heard all of this before, it was nothing knew to me, but I wasn't the only one my body affected anymore. Edward's head was down as he listened to his father speak. This was just as hard on him and I started to wonder why we were even talking about this right now and when one of us would cut Carlisle off knowing that it was enough for one night.

"Did you ever attempt to get pregnant...before?" Carlisle asked as I seen Esme grab his hand telling him to back off. I needed this conversation to be over with. Now.

"No Carlisle, excuse me for being rude, but where are you going with this?" I was about to loose my temper and didn't really want to leave a bad taste with my soon to be in-laws.

"I'm sorry Bella. I'm just trying to help dear." Esme rubbed his arm knowing that Carlisle didn't mean any harm. "I just think that maybe, your future chances aren't as low as you think. If you guys are thinking of trying again. I just wanted to you to know."

I didn't speak. I didn't know what to say.

"_Were_ you guys trying?" Esme spoke for the first time since this conversation started. She seemed curious and a little concerned.

"We weren't preventing it, if that's what you're asking mom." Poor Edward having to explain this to his mom especially right now after…. everything that happened. "But not how you're thinking. We love each other, and are getting married, so no, we weren't preventing it, and if it happened, we were ready to accept a baby with open arms."

The tears came again and I couldn't hide them. Edward's finger wiped them away as he wiped his own and cleared his throat. We had yet to discuss in depth _that_ word.

"I'm sorry Edward, Bella, we don't mean to pry. It really is none of our business what your plans are. But if you are thinking that future children are out of the question, I wanted to let you know that when I said I did some tests on you at the hospital, I really did do some tests. And I am hoping that you won't be to upset for over stepping my boundaries."

"What are you talking about Carlisle? I was told in Chicago that my chances were slim to none...and then after.... what happened..."

Carlisle cut me off to explain further seeing that I was close to losing it for the millionth time today.

"Well with some of the blood work that I had drawn, I found that yes, it will be difficult for you to get pregnant again, but not impossible. And if you did, we would need to monitor you closely with your new found medical issues, but it _could_ happen. What I am trying to get at is that I know this is all really fresh in your minds, but that a family for you two is _not_ out of the question. I want you to know that there is hope. And I think _hope_ is what you both need to hear right now. I'm sorry if I have upset you."

I cried harder taking in his words. Although they were happy tears, this was not a conversation I wanted to have right now. It was too soon, and I needed time to process everything he had said.

"You didn't over step your boundaries Carlisle. I appreciate your concern. But...I.... just cant talk about this right now. Please understand."

Edward held my hand in his, brought it to his lips and kissed it before returning it to rest with his on my legs. He looked torn as he stared down at our intertwined hands.

"We understand. We just want you guys to know that we are here for you. For whatever you need. We love you both. Please don't be afraid to call or ask for any help." Esme was so motherly that I couldn't help but slip her a slight smile.

"I think Bella needs to rest." Edward sensed my mood and knew that we needed some alone time. I think he was just as ready for this conversation to be over as I was.

Edward walked his parents to the door after they both gave me a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye.

I turned around in my mind what Carlisle was telling me. There were future possibilities of getting pregnant. It was a possibility of still having Edward's children.

There was still hope for us after all.

**A/N: So… not as deep as the past few chapters. I know there were still a few moments that were a little sad, but slowly, they are starting to heal, to move forward. The next chapter shoots ahead a little bit and is a lot lighter. And then after that is James' trial which is a really BIG chapter for me. I think it will please a lot of you. Again, we aren't done yet; so don't be thinking about saying goodbyes just yet. I originally had 31 chapters and an Epi. planned out, but I am thinking that it will be more now because I have ideas that I want to incorporate still.**

**Oh, and I am no medical guru. If something doesn't sound right about future pregnancies and all, remember that this is fiction and not everything will be 100% factually right. **

**You all know what to do. Push the green button and say hello. We were down reviews last chapter, which was a MAJOR bummer. For anyone that reviews, you all know what each of you means to me. It takes a lot to write and post your work, and reviews are REALLY appreciated.**

**Reviews are better than Percocet. Enough said.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hello again…Sorry this update wasn't out as quick as usual. The past two chapters have been down on reviews and it is kind of a bummer, but oh well, it is what it is. I know that these are kind of in between chapters, but things start to pick up in this one, and then next chapter is a biggy, well for me anyways and things start moving along once again from there.**

**Thank you to all the amazing reviewers. I love them all, the long ones, short ones, and the ones that are only one or two words. I hope you all know what you mean to me, and how much I REALLY appreciate each and every review. **

**Enough about me and my ranting, and onto the main attraction….**

**Disclaimer: SM owns. Enough said.**

Chapter 26: Light at the end of the tunnel

EPOV

Bella had been home from the hospital for about four weeks now. She was healing more and more every day. Physically that is. Mentally and emotionally, I wasn't so sure.

She didn't talk much about the attack.

And we sure as hell didn't talk about the baby.

At all.

Bella winced every time anyone mentioned any remorse about the baby. I followed that by the death glare and the comments stopped. No one _ever_ talked about _that_ subject anymore.

We knew how sorry everyone was about the baby. We knew it and appreciated their concern, but we needed time to heal on our own, just the two of.

Because the baby was never mentioned, and the attack was mostly off limits as well, I don't know how much we were really _healing_, but I never said anything, fearing it would set Bella off and I couldn't bear to watch the woman I loved more than anything in this world cry or be in any more pain than she already was.

I made the mistake of calling Bella 'baby' twice. Two times since we returned from the hospital, and each time, I wasn't able to catch myself in time. Each time I was faced with the look in Bella's eyes that told me I was an ass and had no mind to think with. Stupid fucker was I for even mentioning that word around my girl, but I learned quickly and was very careful with my vocabulary.

Emmett and Rose had come over to see Bella the night after mom and dad had talked to us and checked on her. Even though Bella was an emotional wreck, she wanted to see her friends. Emmett did everything he could not to wrap her in a bear hug like usual and you could tell that it was hurting him to not have that contact with her. But she really was like a soap bubble. So fragile and so easily broken. I was the only one she let touch her when she felt weak. I knew where and where not to put my hands. I had learned the hard way unfortunately.

Rose was just a few weeks from her due date, and as much as Bella said it didn't bother her about Rose's pregnancy, I could tell that she was suffering in silence. Typical Bella. It's not that she wasn't happy for my brother and his wife, but it was difficult to see Rose's protruding belly and have to know that could have been her. I never told Bella this, but it was just as hard on me. Ever since finding out that Bella had been pregnant with my child, all I pictured was Bella's bulging stomach, rubbing my hands across it every chance I got, and laughing with her when the baby would kick. So, as I said, I would never tell Bella this, but I was hurting just as much as she was over the death of our unborn child.

Emmett tried to keep things normal for Bella, but Rose had a hard time not talking about the attack. And Bella didn't want to talk about any of it period. Rose loved her. We both knew it. She was just dealing with things the best she could with all the pregnancy hormones that were running through her.

Emmett on the other hand was cracking jokes with her left and right, and as much as I knew it hurt Bella to laugh, it was the light at the end of the tunnel to see and hear her laugh. I would be forever grateful to my brother for what he could do for my Bella.

But Bella's laughs and smiles were far and few between. She was sad a lot. Her moods were up and down. She would be talkative one minute and crying the next, never wanting to tell me what was wrong. I learned to _not_ ask what was wrong after a few days, I _knew_ what was wrong and there was nothing I could do to help her, other than hold her close and remind her of the love we shared.

Jasper and Alice would like to have been over at the apartment every chance they got, but Bella didn't want to burden anyone with her troubles as she put it, and she had me kindly ask everyone to keep there distance for a while. _One of the hardest things I ever had to do. My family meant the world to both of us, but Bella came first._

It killed Jasper. He had been there through thick and thin for so many years and she was forcing him away. He looked like a dog that had been kicked when I told him, but I had to honor her wishes. Bella was my first concern, and I would do anything for her. Even if it meant pushing our friends and family to the side for her to heal the way she wanted too.

Bella talked with our family every few days, but visits were totally off limits.

Bella needed normalcy in her life, and wanted everyone else to go back to there's. I knew that she didn't push everyone away intentionally, and in time she would realize that she needed to let them back in. Not only for herself but also for everyone else. Bella was hard not to love and I knew from the brief conversations that I had with everyone that they were hurting just as much with us being so close, yet so far away for the last month.

Alice, Rose and Emmett understood that she needed time, and distanced themselves like Bella had asked. I knew they were hurt being kept away, but it was what Bella wanted. And no one was going to go against her right now. Not after everything she had been through.

For the past four weeks, I didn't leave Bella's side.

At all.

The only time I had, was the day after she came home and I went to the shop for an hour. _One hour_. I hadn't been there in two weeks and Alex had come back to help me with things. Him and Emmett had taken up the brunt of the work. I couldn't even put into words what I felt for those two and what they had done for us. Bella seemed fine that I was leaving knowing that I would return, but that night, she had terrible nightmares, screaming for me in her sleep. Her arms were clenched around my neck for an hour as I was trying to help her come down from the terrifying place she had gone too. She finally did calm and fell back asleep, only to be awaken a few hours later screaming for me again.

That's when I decided not to leave her again anytime soon, until I knew she could really handle it. And even at that, I still wouldn't leave her alone. I needed her just as much as she needed me. We both knew this.

I was still beside myself for not being there for her that night. If I had just been a few minutes sooner, I could have saved her. I could have saved the baby. And we would be blissed out right now like we used to be.

Not that I didn't love Bella like I used to, but things were different between us. I think I loved her more than I ever felt capable of, but happiness was something we needed to get back into our lives. It wasn't there right now and I was racking my brain for ideas of how to get it back.

I needed Bella to talk to me. We needed to get through this together to move on with our lives. I knew we eventually would, but how long was it going to take before she opened up and let me in?

Bella even went as far as to ask if I still wanted to marry her. That in its self caused me to break down in front of her like a fucking pussy. I begged and pleaded with her for hours to never talk like that again. She was my life, my everything. And there was nothing I wanted more than to marry her. I had to remind her of our plans and what a beautiful bride she would be. My bride.

And so that brings us to the present. Its Friday morning. Bella's bruises are all but gone. Only slight discoloring here and there. Her nipple has healed well, her ribs are only causing her slight discomfort. We have taken to daily showers together. Nothing sexual at all, but at least I could be there for her in case she didn't feel well and let her feel my body against her own, letting her know how much I still loved and cherished her.

Bella hadn't been eating well since her return home and I finally put her on the scale, with her crying and all and seen that she had lost 20 pounds. She was only 125 pounds to begin with the last time I checked. I was worried and decided to take things into my own hands. I know she wasn't not eating intentionally, she had no appetite, but I wasn't going to allow her to self destruct like this.

We hadn't left the apartment at all since her return home and it was time to get some air. Alice and Rose had been so kind to keep us stocked on groceries as Bella didn't want to leave and I sure as hell wasn't going to leave her. It would be good for her and for me. It was early July and the sun was out. Perfect day to get back into reality. And I thought we could stop by the shop. I hadn't been there to work in almost six weeks, and not that I was concerned about finances, I owned the shop and all but I needed to get back to work sooner or later.

Bella lay beside me in bed. She was wearing a pair of my boxers and my t-shirt and looked sexy as hell. I lay on my side in only boxers as I watched her beautiful face while she slept. Her top lip pouted out begging for me to kiss it.

I lightly ran my hand along her side and her eyes fluttered awake. Her brown eyes stared into mine and a small smile played along her lips. Those smiles hadn't made themselves present very often. And I was willing to take what I could get.

"Hey beautiful." I kissed her pouty lips and continued to rub up her side.

"Hey." There was a sparkle in her eyes today. Something I hadn't seen in a long time. This was a good sign.

"What do you say about going out B?" She looked at me confused. "I think it would be good for us to get some air today. Start working our way back in to the world. Maybe take a walk, get some lunch, and go out for groceries. You know, normal stuff that we used to do."

She stared at me for a moment and I worried that I had upset her.

"I think that's a good idea. I mean, we gotta start acting human again at some point." She smiled at me once more and I felt the weight being lifted slightly. Was this really my girl talking right now?

I kissed her once more before standing and stretching. I looked down to see her eyes going up and down my body. She was checking me out.

"Do you see something you like the soon to be Mrs. Cullen?" I tried to joke with her as much as possible to keep the mood light.

She smirked and sat up. I made my way to stand in between her legs in front of her as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Cullen, I always see things I like when it comes to you." She kissed my Mason tattoo. The feeling of her lips on my skin was heaven.

"Its all yours Angel." I kissed her head as I ran my hands through her hair. She felt amazing with our arms wrapped around each other. Bella _was_ amazing.

My fucking body had a mind of its own and I felt myself grow hard in seconds from the little contact she gave me. I had no control over it as I hadn't had sex in six weeks.

Lefty had definitely not been doing his job, but when you compare it to Bella, well, there was no comparison.

Bella shied away from my touch and I felt like a complete ass.

_Way to go, make her uncomfortable, especially when she is willing to get out for a little bit and she's in a good mood!_

"B. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable you know I can't control my body. Especially around you." I kissed her head as she stood and wrapped her arms around my waist again, snuggling into my chest.

My hard on rubbed against her stomach and I was craving more friction as much as I tried to deny it and act somewhat like a gentleman. Damn my fucking body.

"No E. It's ok. Really. It's nice to know that you still think of me like… that. But...I'm just not ready for _that_." Her eyes never made contact with me and I knew how uncomfortable she was feeling.

"Sweet Bella. I always want you. But please don't think I will push you. Because I won't. But when you _are_ ready, let me know. All I want to do is make you feel good again. I'd do anything to make you feel better."

"You do E. You always do." She kissed my chest as I brought her face to mine and placed a chaste kiss on her sweet lips.

"You seem happier B. What's got your mood up? Not that I'm complaining...."

"You. Always you E. I don't know. I guess I just...I don't know what it is. I just like the way getting back to normal sounds. Lets go."

With that we were up. I made the bed as Bella found some clothes to wear. Watching her naked form as she dressed was not helping my problem below, but I knew that it might ruin our chances of having a good day together if I decided to dry hump her ass right now.

Bella chose a sports bra, which was the first bra I saw her put on since she returned home, and my dick twitched at the twins being closed off. _In time buddy, in time_.

She put on a pair of loose fitting jeans with holes in the knees and a white t-shirt that clung to her body. Of course the jeans were bigger on her than I had remembered, and the t-shirt was Alice's 'cause she felt that Bella needed a few things that would fit her newly acquired body a little better until she gained some weight back. Of course she had to put on my Cullen sweatshirt even though it was July. My dick twitched even more in excitement and I was silently chastising my body. I think I seen her wear her sweatshirt that I got her once or twice saying she would rather swim in mine. Whatever. Shit looked good on her.

She pulled her hair up and I saw the 'E' behind her ear, which made me smile. I snuck in a kiss over her tattoo and listened as she let out a small moan.

Blue balls award was totally being handed back to my beloved fiancé.

I knew how wrong it was for my body to react to her like this. She didn't need the added pressure, but just seeing her smile like she was made me feel like things were going to be ok, back to the way things were. And the way things were consisted of a fuck load of sex. _A lot_ of sex, and I couldn't help but think of the little man below wanting to come out and play.

Yes, ok, I got it. Total Ass was I. Might as well have it stamped on my forehead.

I dressed quickly in a pair of faded jeans and black t-shirt, my usual. I noticed how Bella's eyes watched my body as I dressed and I felt more and more ok.

We stood side by side in the bathroom brushing our teeth and I felt a bit of normalcy coming back. Man it was a good feeling.

We made our way down to the little coffee shop around the corner, making sure to avoid going _that_ direction and walked hand in hand while we sipped our coffee. We took it slow, making sure we weren't doing too much to fast. We walked the several blocks to Central Park where I wanted to take her on a carriage ride. We hadn't been on one since our first date, and I knew it would be a good start to our day.

Bella stopped dead in her tracks as she seen where I was leading her. Her lips curling into a huge grin. I took advantage of it, and kissed her beautiful smile.

"E? Seriously? You are so fucking awesome." She kissed me back and wrapped her arm around my waist as I lead us to the horse drawn carriage.

She took the first step up but was having difficulty balancing her weight. She still wasn't a hundred percent, but close. I place my hands on her back and gave her a little push and she was in. I made my way next to her and she cuddled into my side.

I paid the guy $100 to take us on a long ride. Bella cuddled into my side, I was a happy man. We still had shit to work out, this I knew all to well, but here in this moment, things were perfect.

We were perfect.

Bella and I had yet to discuss the baby. I knew when she was ready she would bring it up. _And_ James's trial was next week. It had been pushed back a few weeks, which had been another reason I think Bella kept us locked up in the apartment. She was frustrated that they were prolonging his sentencing. Bella insisted she was going, which means I was going.

I knew it was going to be a hard day for her, but I also knew that it would help her to move on and let _us_ move forward with our lives.

It was a beautiful day, the temperature was just right. Not to hot and not to cool. Bella shed the sweatshirt, wrapping it around her waist. I couldn't help but stare at her beautiful body. It was a little bony for my taste, but I knew I could fatten her up a bit and get some of those glorious curves back.

Bella was an angel in disguise, no question about it. We cuddled not talking for our entire ride through the park. All to soon we were back where we started and the carriage came to a stop. I jumped down, then grabbed Bella and carried her down bridal style so the jump down didn't hurt her.

She gave me a kiss before placing her down on her feet. If I had it my way, I wouldn't have put her down. I would have kept her safe in my arms forever.

God I was turning into a girl. I may need to check Bella's purse when we got home to see if my balls were in there, because apparently they were missing.

We walked around for a while people watching and talking about random shit, stopping for breaks when she needed them. Bella had been slowly weaning herself off the pain meds and only took them here and there when the pain was too much to bear, but in the last few days, she only needed them to sleep.

I noticed her moods were less fragile with the decrease in her happy pills. I think those are what made her so up and down all the time. _Well that and the fact that she was brutally beaten and her baby was taken from her, but that's beside the point, right?_

We were walking towards the apartment once again when I brought up the shop.

"B? You can say know if you don't want too, but do you think we could stop by the shop for a while? I know everyone would like to see you outside of the apartment, and it would be really nice to check things out and make sure Emmett didn't burn the place down." She could either choose to shut down right now, or we could go to the shop and see our family and continue on with the best day we've had in a long time.

Bella kissed my cheek and gave me a small smile. "Of course. But I am a little hungry, could we stop for something to eat? Oh, and I am _so_ craving some ice cream!" She seemed excited over eating, which I was internally thanking God for, but then became quiet. I would gladly give into any requests that she had so I don't know why she would think...craving ice cream. Got it.

I brought her hands into mine and kissed them each. Kissing over her ring again trying to comfort her the only way I knew how. She was thinking of the last time she had a craving for that food and I wasn't going to let her regress right now, not after all the progress we made.

Her face looked frantic, on the verge of a panic attack.

"Honey, it's ok. I know what you're thinking. You're fine." I stared into her eyes, which were tearing up more and more. "You're fine, B." Bella looked into my eyes, and I could tell that she was starting to calm a little.

"I know. It just brought me back...to you know...." She stopped and shut her eyes shaking her head.

I kissed away the tears that had fallen to her cheek as she opened her eyes and gave me a slight smile.

"You never have to explain anything to me B. Come on, let's go get some pizza for everyone, _and_ some ice cream."

She nodded and we placed an order for a few pizzas at a place just across the street from the shop. I carried them while Bella ate her ice cream then made our way over to the shop.

Watching her eat was a sight to see. Not only did my dick want to be covered in ice cream at this very moment, but also her frail body needed any calories it could get. We were picking up several cartons of ice cream later, and chips, and fried foods too.

Opening the doors and walking in felt amazing. The shop was my second home and I missed the hell out of working on my art. Emmett and Jasper were fooling around like the 10 year olds they were, and Alex was working on a customer. They all dropped there jaws when they seen us come in, realizing that I had Bella with me. Rose and Alice were lying on the couch, and Alice screamed in excitement as soon as her eyes landed on Bella. I immediately felt bad for any dogs that were in the surrounding six-block radius.

I set the pizzas on the counter and threw away Bella's dish as Alice and Rose came over to hug her _lightly_ as I kissed them both on the cheek.

"It's so good to see you Bella!" Rose kissed her cheek and then stepped back so that her husband could make his way over.

Emmett came towards her at full speed as I seen the panic in Bella's eyes. I stopped him by placing my hand on his chest seconds before my Bella was trampled into a bear hug.

"Emm, go easy on her! She is breakable, remember that, please?" I warned.

"I know I know." He wrapped her in a loose hug and kissed her cheek smiling from ear to ear. "Welcome home Bella Barbie. It is so good to see you in here. It's so good to see you out of the house. We missed you sweetie."

She hugged him back keeping her arms wrapped around his big form. "It feels really good to be here Emm. Back to a little bit of reality."

Jasper was next and scooped Bella into a hug. He held her for several minutes while I looked away. It was a personal moment between the two of them that I felt like I was invading. No words were spoken between the two. No words were needed.

Jasper rubbed her back as he whispered something in her ear, and she smiled. He wiped a tear away from her eye and my heart ached for why she was crying. She looked over at me and gave me a slight smile telling me that she was ok. They were just having a moment, and I understood.

"Ooh pizza! Pizza and Bella Barbie all in one day! Is it my birthday or something?" Emmett and food were a force to be wrecken with. That is also why I got _several_ pizzas.

I hit him in the stomach and started laughing as he started to salivate. "Easy hound dog. You're looking at the pizza likes it's going out of style."

Emmett rolled his eyes as Rosalie rolled herself off the couch and made her way towards the boxes of greasy goodness. She was rubbing her stomach as she closed her eyes inhaling the smells.

"God that smells so fucking good, doesn't it Emma Rose?" She rubbed her tummy as she looked down talking to it. Everyone, including Bella laughed at the soon to be mommy feeding her tummy. She said the pizza was for Emma and that she had no control over her little girl. Whatever.

Rose and Alice started eating trying to push Emmett away as I made my way back to the office. Alice had taken care of everything back here for me, the bills, contracts, inventory, it was all done. I don't know what I would do without my family.

I sat back in my chair and shut my eyes as I rubbed my hands over my face. It was good to be back. I just hoped that Bella was doing ok. I knew she was out there with Jasper and didn't worry too much about her safety, but mentally it was hard to be away from her, hoping that she didn't break down.

Sad as it sounds though, it was nice to just get away for a minute. I fucking loved the girl to death, but I was drained, mentally, physically, emotionally.

We had had such a great day so far, but the last few weeks had really kicked my ass. The saying 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' had never held so much meaning to me in my entire life.

"You look like shit E!" I opened my eyes to find Alex leaning against the doorframe with a smirk on his face.

"Thanks bro. That's just what I needed." I rolled my eyes and punched him in the stomach.

"You wanna get a smoke quick?" His eyes directed me towards the door and a smoke sounded wonderful.

I nodded and got up. "Just let me go tell B."

I made my way out to find Bella eating a big piece of pizza talking with Rose and Alice. She was sitting in between them, and seemed content. Well as content as you can be with the gossip queens filling you in on what we supposedly missed lately.

I knelt down in front of her with my hands rubbing up and down her legs. "B. I'm just gonna get a quick smoke with Alex quick alright?"

Her eyes darted out for a mere second before she reined in her feelings.

"OK." She barely whispered but gave me a small smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Don't worry. I'll just be outside. I'll stay by the window so you can see me the entire time, ok?"

She seemed to relax a little and nodded for me to go, and I kissed her softly before following Alex out.

He lit his cigarette and handed me the lighter. I took a long pull and leaned up against the building.

"How's she doing man?"

"Today, she's doing great. I haven't seen her smile like this since we got home from the hospital. But the last few weeks...have been...difficult." I ran my free hand through my hair.

"It's been more than that. How many years have I known you?" His eyes narrowed in on me; of course he knew it was worse.

"You're right. The last few weeks have been hell. Utter hell. Not that I don't love B. I love her more than I ever thought I could, but I'm just drained man. She doesn't want to talk about things, and she obviously shut everyone out, not wanting to be a bother. But she won't talk to me about anything. And I know she's hurting, I understand and can empathize, but..."

"You're hurting too." Thank you Alex.

"I know it sounds selfish, but yeah, I mean all I can think about is how I should have been there for her. And I know what's done is done and we can't go back and change anything, but fuck man! This shit has been eating me up and I gotta have her talk to me, so that we can try to move forward."

"Dumb question since you said she doesn't want to talk, but does she mention the baby at all?" Alex looked down at his feet, kicking piece of trash around.

"No. Not at all. And it really hurts. It hurts to know that we lost our child. And we aren't dealing with it. I know we will, but I feel like a part of me is just...missing, I don't know." I looked through the window and gave Bella a small wave. She smiled and waved back before joining the conversation again.

"Do you know what the future means for you guys and trying again?" Alex took a pull from his cigarette and leaned his head back waiting for me to answer.

"Carlisle said that it might be difficult, but not impossible. When he told us, her eyes lit up like you wouldn't believe, but she hasn't said anything since. And I am all for the practicing part of it, but not until she's ready."

"It's good that you still have something to look forward to though." He put out his cigarette and stood in front of me. "Hang in there man, things are going to get better. I know its going to take some time, but you guys are going to be better than ever if you can stick together through all this shit."

I nodded as I put my cigarette out. We walked back in listening to Rose's most recent craving, dill pickle chips, sour cream and salsa.

Ok then.

I grabbed Bella's hand and dragged her off of the couch and led us over to my station and plopped her in my lap as I sat down. We were connected in so many ways, that I didn't think I could be in a room with her without touching her. And I had been away from her for like 30 minutes and that was way to long.

Yeah I was emotionally drained by not talking about what had happened, but by no means would I push her away. I needed her more now than I ever had. And I knew she needed me the same. That much was obvious by the way she looked at me when I would go out for a smoke and be not even 10 feet from her.

We talked with Rose and Emmett and how excited they were for little Emma Rose to make her appearance into this world. I was truly happy for the two of them, and secretly couldn't wait to be an uncle, even though I put up the tough face so I didn't get any pussy comments.

Bella sat in my lap as we listened to the conversations. I had my arms around her waist as usual running soothing circles. She leaned her back into my chest and she looked content.

It was a good day. She accomplished so much by just going out of the house, and then to be with everyone at once was just the icing on the cake. My Bella was slowly making herself known again.

We had the most amazing people in our lives and no one brought anything up about the attack or the baby.

"So...the big day is fast approaching guys!" Alice squealed from the couch. That was another thing. Along with the whole 'do you still want to marry me?' conversation, we decided on pushing the wedding back a month so that she could be fully healed and also so we could enjoy the day without any worries. Worries as in, James would be sentenced by then, probably being auctioned off to the highest bidder in a dirty prison cell.

"Yes indeed it is." I whispered into Bella's ear and kissed her tattoo making her squirm over my already erect cock. _This girl was seriously going to be the death of me._

"Two months. You think you can get me in that dress in time Tink?" Bella was all jokes; we both knew the dress would need to be taken in several sizes at the rate she was at.

Alice walked over with the pizza box and held it in front of Bella with a smirk on her face.

"Well honey, _this_ is how we are going to get you into you dress without to much work being done on it. Eat. And eat lots. That isn't something that most brides get told, so you should consider yourself lucky." Alice was only trying to crack a joke, but the words cut like a knife. I know what she was getting at, but the reasoning behind Bella's newly acquired body was nowhere near what a usual bride was trying to achieve.

I rubbed Bella's sides a little more and brushed her hair to the side of her neck trying to comfort her. I placed a kiss there and listened to the small moan that came out of her mouth. I tried to distract her as much as possible, not wanting her to get upset by the comment.

As usual, Bella surprised me with her comeback.

"Well Tink, I know you two are from the same family, cause he's been telling me to eat for weeks." Bella took a bite of her pizza and over exaggerated her swallow making me roll my eyes and Alice gave her a little 'hmf'. "But seriously, thank you for thinking of me, and I _will_ get into my dress. But will Rose?"

Rose shot up _kind of_ and tried to act offended. "Fuck you Swan! I _will_ get into my dress. Post baby and all! You just watch and see!" She rubbed her belly as Emmett pulled her to his lap trying not to let her see how amused he was.

"Yeah tubbo, that's why you ordered a size 8 instead of the usual 6 right?" Thank you Pixie! I think I loved my little sister more now than I ever have. I need to buy her something. Something _really_ nice.

Bella laughed and our bodies shook together. She held her side as she laughed to hold down the pain.

"You are fucking awesome Tink! Thank you for the laughs! It hurts like hell sometimes, but totally worth it." Bella was still laughing as she tossed the remainder of the pizza back in the box and held her side.

"Yeah, well I don't know about the rest of you, but _I_ will be the best looking fucker there, so don't worry your pretty little heads to much ladies." Emmett winked at the three girls as each one raised a middle finger in his direction with a smile.

"Don't count on it, I think that title will be held by my soon to be husband over here." Bella turned to look at me as she placed her hands on my chest and gave me a chaste kiss making us both smile. _And I think I blushed a little too_.

I unwrapped the sweatshirt from around her waist and threw it over my station so I could have better access of her waist. I rubbed my hands there, and at first she flinched away at the contact, but then relaxed into my chest again. I figured there was no way to get her comfortable again without trying. And she was trying. Thank you whom ever is answering this prayer!

We sat like that a little longer enjoying one another before Bella was falling asleep in my arms. We said our good byes and told everyone we would meet up with them for supper later and made our way home.

Bella had done so well, and I knew that she needed a nap.

It was a good day. A good start to healing. We still had a lot of shit to deal with, but we were getting there.

Bit by bit.

Now, if we could get through the trial we would be good to go.

**A/N: This was the last transitional chapter, promise! Next up is the trial. It is a big one for me, and that's about all I can say about that. Hopefully I don't disappoint, but I don't think I will.**

**I went and seen New Moon for the second time this weekend. I don't know if my hubby will go for a third time, so I am trying to convince my friends 14 year old daughter to go with me, but she laughs and tells me that I am a little obsessed. Well duh!! This is Rob Pattinson we are talking about! I don't know who is the adult and who is the child in that conversation. I feel like I am a teenager again when Leonardo Dicaprio was the IT boy and I had posters of him all over my walls. Wonder if my husband would let me put up Rob posters….probably not. Nice thought though.**

**Ok really, enough of my rambling now.**

**Reviewers get a teaser of the trial. Show me some love, after the last two chapters, I could REALLY use it. Even if you want to just say hi. I don't bite, hard that is.**

**Reviews are better than sitting on Edward's lap and feeling the man below. Just saying. Push the damn green button!**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Not gonna say much about this one, we all know what it is. The Trial. Hope you enjoy and get as much out of it as I did.**

**Thanks again for all your kind words!! I love the reviews!**

**Oh and some of you have your PM's turned off so I can' t sending anything back to you. Just remember if you want a teaser sent back you need to turn your PM's on.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the ticket stubs from both times that I have seen New Moon. **

Chapter 27: Sentenced to Life

BPOV

Today is James' trial. The day we've been waiting for to finally put this all behind us and move on.

It was a little over seven weeks ago that he took my heart from me. From us. He left me alive but took the one thing I didn't think I could ever have.

My baby. _Our_ baby.

Edward wanted to be a father. I seen the way he looked at Rose's protruding belly and remembered the gleam in his eyes when she announced that she was pregnant at Christmas.

I just hoped I would be able to get the chance to give him a child someday. The child he always wanted.

I knew Edward was pretty frustrated with me the first few weeks after we got home from the hospital, but this is what I do. I suppress my feelings and push them down. After years at a therapist, I knew it wasn't healthy to do, but I couldn't help it, I didn't want too. I needed to have some control over what was happening to me. My life felt like it was a never ending roller coaster, and I never new which way was up or down.

I haven't pushed Edward away, and that was what we both worried about happening, but in some sense, not talking to him about what happened was almost worse. I knew that, but was being selfish. I knew Edward was hurting just as much as me, but I needed to deal with my own feelings and emotions before trying to figure _us_ out.

I made a promise to myself to be a more supportive partner in this relationship. I couldn't ask for a better partner than Edward. He has done anything and everything to help me heal since my return from the hospital both physically and emotionally. I knew it killed him to tell our family to keep their distance, but he did it, for me, without letting on how much he was hurting not having them in his life on a daily basis. I was starting to think that Edward would do anything for me, and it was a constant reminder of the amazing person I was able to call _mine_.

The last week has been amazing, we went to the park and the shop and bought groceries, and went to the mall, the usual things we would do if none of this happened. Edward was trying so hard to give me what I needed, what I wanted. And what I wanted was for us to go back to the way things were.

I'm not sure if we'll ever get back to _that_ place again, but I was hoping that we would be better in the long run. Losing our baby was on my mind every second of every day, but I knew that we had grown stronger as a team over these past two months and our relationship would only flourish if I actually manned up and laid my feelings out on the table for us to work through together.

We were slowly getting there. At a snails pace, but it was happening. Ever since that day at the park, I felt alive again. _Alive or land of the living as some liked to call it, _was not something I felt when I first returned home. I felt dead, lifeless, and as much as I didn't want Edward to know that, I knew I needed to tell him everything so that he could fully understand what I was going through and why I was acting the way I was.

Edward has taken me to the shop with him several times in the last few days, only for a few hours here and there as I tolerated so that he could work on a few regulars. I didn't mind going after that first time. He set me up on the couch in the office if I got to tired otherwise I would just sit and watch as he worked. When we first started dating, it was one of my favorite things to do, to watch him work. Watching him now made me feel closer to him, knowing that he was doing something he truly loved and held compassion for. I also know that tattooing also took his mind off of his own thoughts making him smile more.

I missed those smiles.

Edward never left me alone. Since my return home from the hospital, he's been very protective. Even more than usual. All for good reason of course. I knew _why_ he felt so protective and it didn't bother me. I didn't want him to leave me and panicked when he was more than a few feet from me. I knew this was something I needed to work through, but for now my overprotective man was greatly appreciated. He was my rock, and without him I felt empty and alone.

I knew eventually we would need to separate, but it was to soon to even fathom the idea. Give me a few months and I might be a bit more comfortable with the prospects of that happening. But not now. I needed him, and he needed me.

I realized that we couldn't be in the same room without touching somehow. It was either me sitting in his lap or leaning against him in some fashion. We were like magnets that were drawn together. If he went out for a smoke or finished with a client, he would pull me to him as soon as he was done and I calmed instantly as did he. It wasn't until Jazz brought this revelation to my attention did I notice, because all those weeks of just the two of us at the apartment, spending every second of the day together just felt normal, right in all senses of the word.

Although I was feeling better emotionally, physically I yearned for his touches; sex wasn't something we had yet to attempt. He was so patient, and I knew I wanted him, but just wasn't ready. I felt like it was when we first started dating, sexual frustration was so strong in the air you could taste it. Edward tried to make me feel as comfortable as possible with his touches and never gave up on me when I would shy away from his advances.

I knew it would be soon. My body was healing and yearned to be intimate with him. And at least two or three times a day Edward would rub into me with his painfully hard erection. He never did it on purpose, I don't think. Well, maybe he did, but I liked it. It was just a big plunge for us to get there. But it would be soon as my inner nymph was trying to break through the hard shell I had created.

I knew that the trial today was going to be emotionally trying. My body had physically healed. My ribs were the only thing that hurt, and it was only if I did too much. The bruises were all but gone, my nipple was healed just a little soar if to much pressure was added. And the bone under my left eye was days away from being permanently healed. So now it was just the inside stuff that needed to get back to the usual.

I didn't talk about the attack after those first few days. I didn't talk about the baby at all. From the look in Edward's eyes, I knew it was killing him to not talk about it. I knew when I was ready to stop being so selfish we would talk about everything. It was miserable keeping these emotions to myself. Edward was my fiancé and I wanted him to know where I was at with my emotions. And I wanted to know where he was at and be there for him, like he was for me.

I looked over at the bedside clock and found that it was 9:00 am. We needed to be there in two hours for the trial.

I was snuggled against Edward's back, enjoying his semi naked body. I ran my hand down his side and back as he grabbed my hand bringing it to his mouth to kiss.

Edward rolled so he was facing me, placing a long kiss on my lips. I opened my eyes to find his piercing green ones staring back at me. A smile played along his crooked lips.

"Hey gorgeous. How did you sleep?" Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me in close to his chest letting his nose nuzzle into my hair.

"I've been up for a while, but good before that." I was being honest. No good comes from lying if you are as shitty of a liar as I am. And I was up just staring at Edward so it's not like was a bad thing.

"B? Are you ready for today? I mean you really don't have to go. Jasper can stay with you but I have to go." I knew his reasoning behind not wanting me to go, but this was something I needed to do for us to move on.

"Yes I do need to go. And you know why I need to be there. I need to put some closure on all of this. I'm not willing to allow him to ruin everything good that's in our lives. I'm ready to move on."

I thought saying those last few words would bring a smile to Edward's face, but instead he looked angry. Hurt.

"How can we _move on_ when we haven't talked about any of this yet?" He looked mad as his hands tightened on my waist. I pulled back slightly so that he would know that his hold was too tight on me. "Sorry. I'm sorry."

I cupped his cheek in my hand and kissed his lips. "It's ok, you're not hurting me, I just got scared for a minute. And I know we haven't talked about anything. I know. It's...just that...I needed time. I didn't push you away; on the contrary, I think we are closer now than we ever have been. After the trial is over we will talk ok? Lets just get through today in one piece before we try to fix the rest of the wrongs in our lives."

He nodded in agreement before cuddling me into his chest. So patient was my man. His erection was rubbing up against my stomach as it does so often, and I felt him buck his hips into our embrace. Poor guy.

I reached down and gave him a good pull, then stroked his hardness up and down. I needed to give him something, and I had honestly missed our interactions.

Edward froze. This was the first contact I had tried to make and probably shocked him that he was getting any kind of movement in that vicinity of his body.

I'm sure he was just getting used to letting his _problem_ go or dealing with it himself.

"B. You don't have to do that. I'm fine." He tried to tell me, but the continued bucking of his hips into my hand told me he wanted it.

I kissed his lips once more and continued with my hand. "I know you. And I know he needs some help. I haven't been fair to him lately, I know this all to well. _And_ if there is any way of you getting through this day without punching someone, most likely James and getting thrown in jail, I'd say you need a little release of your own."

He laughed and kissed my head knowing that I had already thought this all out. "I suppose you're right. I want nothing more to fuck that asshat up once more, but I suppose that would mean you and I being apart, and neither of us would want that. But...only if you're sure. I don't want you moving to fast. I can wait. He has a mind of his own, but I control what happens for the two of us." Edward looked down at his tent like crotch and was giving himself a little pep talk smiling the entire time.

I laughed at his little rant and kissed his chest. "I wouldn't be doing it if I wasn't sure. You know me by now. And even though I might not be ready for sex, I do have needs and I know you have needs too."

Edward's eyes looked as if they were going to pop right out of his head. Yes we had been very cuddly and lots of kisses and caresses since my return home, but I didn't talk about my needs and neither did he. I figured there was no time like the present to get it all out on the table.

"You have _needs_? Mind sharing?" His eyes were alive and black with lust and the tingly sensation that I hadn't felt in two months made itself known in the bottom of my stomach.

"I think you are pretty aware of my _needs_ Cullen. Just.... be gentle." He kissed my head and nodded, the smile never leaving his angelic face.

I continued on with my hand job as he thrust himself into my hand. I knew it felt nothing like what I could be doing, but it was something more than he was getting. _Which was lefty and the bottle of Jergens._ I stroked him for several minutes before he came hard in my hand, his dick continuing to twitch for several seconds after he was done. The moans that were elicited from his mouth only made my own arousal more apparent and I only prayed that this wasn't the time that he was going to tell me to wait as I was to fragile or something. With everything that we were about to face in just a few hours, I needed to feel that our connection was as strong as ever. I needed to feel him.

I cleaned off my hand with a tissue and threw it in the garbage as he laid me on my back ever so gently. As time moved forward, I could only hope that he would do something to my body, the need for some friction between my thighs growing unbearable.

"You're turn. What do you think you can handle my Love?" His eyes showed every sign of just having an amazing release, but were so thoughtful and concerned, wanting to make sure that the favor was returned and that I would get my needed release as well. Did I say that this man was amazing?

"What do you want to do?" I said in my best sexy voice that I hadn't used in a long time and probably needed some practice.

Edward lifted the shirt I wearing and gingerly kissed my nipples. He was extra gentle over the left one, before taking the right in his mouth, twirling his tongue around it making me feel like I haven't in so long. He was gentle, but it made my body feel like it was on fire. I arched my back into the bed and was amazed at what that little bit of contact could do to my body.

"Is this ok B?" He looked up from my chest with hooded eyes as he darted his tongue at to swirl around my left nipple.

"More than ok." I ran my hands through his hair as he trailed down my body, placing wet kisses as he went.

He kissed over my ribs, belly button and hips before stopping above my clit. He looked up at me for the silent ok as I nodded and he proceeded to kiss my pierced clit. I couldn't help but buck my hips into his face. Again, the smallest touches made my body feel like a livewire and I was loving every minute of it. Edward growled at the contact, and I realized in that moment how much I had missed those noises.

His tongue darted out and licked around my clit in circles as he brought a finger up to brush along my slit. I jumped at the initial contact and he pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I went to far." He bowed his head as he sat back on his heels looking sad and upset with himself. I needed to put an end to those looks.

"No. It's not that. I just have to adjust. I haven't felt you like this in so long; I just need to reacquaint my body with yours. Please, keep going. It feels amazing." I pulled him to me once again as he watched me for a moment before nodding and placing his fingers across my entrance once again.

I didn't jump this time and he took that as a sign to continue. He slowly inserted one finger and I moaned out his name as the rush of heat ran over my body. His touches became more familiar and I wanted more. I didn't want him to stop. I wanted to stay like this forever.

He picked up the pace and slid his finger in deeper each time as my hips continued to move on their own accord and thrust into his hand.

"That feels so good E. I missed you so much, I missed you making me feel like this." I moaned as he brought himself back up my body, kissing as he went until he landed on my lips.

I tasted myself on his kiss and moaned again at how much it turned me on.

"That's all I wanted B. I want to make you feel so fucking good. Tell me what you want. What you need." He kissed along my neck and behind my ear as he continued pumping in and out of me.

"More. Harder. Please." My voice was barely more than a whisper as I felt my stomach tightening.

He kissed me hard on the lips as he added a second finger and pumped me harder, deeper moving to all the places he knew and loved. Edward knew my body like a map, and I never needed to worry about telling him how to make me feel good. He would always know.

"Oh God! Ungh! E! God I missed this!" I screamed out as my orgasm hit hard. He continued to pump his fingers in and out of me as I rode out the wave of pleasure.

"I've missed you B. I've missed that face, and I've missed this." He said as he emptied me and wrapped me in a tight hug rocking us both back and forth and we reveled in the post coital feeling.

"I know. Thank you E. I can't say it enough. I don't know what I would have done without you these past couple of weeks. And I know you're frustrated with me, but please know that we will get back to where we were. We will." My cheeks were wet with tears that I knew were trying to make themselves present, but what I wasn't expecting was to look up and see those same tears falling from my Love, Edward's sullen face.

"I'm not frustrated with you Angel. It's the situation. That's all. And yes, I wish you would talk to me, but I understand. And I know that we're making progress. I can see it every day. Lets just keep taking it day by day and we will be ok. We have to stick together now more so than ever." He whispered the last part as I nuzzled my way into the crook of his neck.

I nodded in agreement against his chest as he wiped the tears from my cheeks.

We held each other a little longer before reluctantly getting up and taking a shower together. Edward washed my body in the most sensual way, caressing every inch of my flesh, letting our bodies get more acquainted with one another little by little. We eventually had to get out knowing we needed to get ready and get this day over with.

Emmett and Jasper were coming with for the trial, but Alice and Rose were going to stay at home. With Rose's due date fast approaching, she didn't need the added stress and all three guys strongly put there foot down letting her know that she wasn't going to be in that court room, but that we would give her a play by play of everything later. And that's when Alice decided that she would stay home as well, so that Rose didn't feel left out.

I dressed in a pair of gray pin striped dress pants, a long sleeved white collared shirt that Alice felt the need to get me last week, as if I didn't have enough clothes in my closet. I paired it with a pair of black boots with a short heal and wore my hair up in a clip. I went easy on the makeup knowing that at some point or another I would probably be crying it off.

Edward looked handsome as ever in a pair of black dress pants and a blue and white checked dress shirt. If we weren't going to the trial, I would think we were going on a date or getting pictures done or something.

We met up with Jasper and Emmett who were dressed similar to Edward and made our way down to the parking garage. Emmett was driving and Edward lifted me up in the back seat so I wouldn't feel the pull in my ribs.

We all smoked like chimneys the entire way to the courthouse, knowing that James would be in the same room with us in a matter of minutes. The tension was high and no words were spoken during the drive there.

I was surprised to find reporters lining the steps when we pulled up. I was bombarded from every angel with questions about the attack, but was fortunate to not have just one bodyguard but three. Edward wrapped me tightly into his chest trying to shield me from all of the attention as Jasper and Emmett cleared a path.

We made our way in and found the courtroom taking our seats. My fingers were all scabbed over from chewing at them for the last few days, and Edward had my hands wrapped in his so I wouldn't continue. We sat in the front of the room and waited for the trial to begin. Jasper sat on the other side of me with his arm around my shoulders while Edward continued to hold my hands in his, and rub my thigh with his free hand trying to sooth me, when I could tell he needed some soothing of his own.

At 11:15 am, the judge entered, followed by James who was handcuffed and in an orange jump suit and the courtroom was called to order. James glared at me as he entered almost as if he wanted me to feel bad about the current position he was in, and I felt my face turn into a scowl. I would not allow him to make me feel like he was the victim in all of this. I kept my face emotionless as I stared him back in his dead eyes, letting him know that the old Bella was gone, and I would not take the fault for his actions ever again. When James finally took his stance and was turned away from me, I allowed my emotions to take over a bit. I would stay strong for what I needed too, but I couldn't help the way I was feeling either. I felt Jasper and Edward tense on either side of me as I tried to hold in the tears. Even though there was no way in hell he could hurt me here, I was scared shitless. This last attack was so much worse than anything he had previously done, and my mind started playing that night over and over in my head as if it was on replay.

After the judge read the opening statements, James took his seat followed by his lawyer. My body began to shake as tears fell over my cheeks. Edwards grip tightened on my hands and Jaspers on my shoulders. I silently chastised myself for not staying strong like I wanted too.

The hearing was called to order moments later, and then began.

I was sworn in, and gave my testimony, all the while never making direct eye contact with James. I kept my eyes on Edward, as I had to re-call the night's events. I was asked questions about previous encounters and explained the past 9 years as I swallowed the knot in my throat.

Drudging up all the past encounters was enough to do me in, but I stayed strong, focused on my rock and got through it.

As soon as I was done, Edward cuddled me to his chest as I took in his scent and tried to calm myself. I tried to keep the tears at bay, knowing when we got home I could let the floodgates go.

Jasper also testified to previous incidents and what he saw that night when they found me. Unlike me, he stared James down the entire time. Jasper held it together and when he came back to sit down I grabbed his hands and held them in my lap.

Emmett and Edward testified as well, but theirs were much shorter than Jasper's or mine, but like Jasper, both guys glared at James the entire time letting him know exactly how they felt about the piece of shit. Edward's voice was laced with anger and unspoken threats towards James that gave me goose bumps at his intensity.

We braked for an hour lunch around 1pm, and were told that we would have his sentencing when we returned.

We walked a block down to a cafe to eat slipping out a back exit so that we would get bombarded with reporters again. We ordered our food and tried to relax for the time being, as everyone was on edge, knowing that we were so close to hearing the decision that would allow us to move on finally. I was seated next to Edward and leaning into his chest as his hand was draped over my shoulder rubbing my neck.

"That feels so good baby." He looked over at me, a small smile played on his lips as his eyes lit up like a little kid. "What?"

"It's nothing B. But you called me _baby_. You haven't done that in a _long_ time." He kissed my head and continued. "It's just nice to hear. Thank you." Edward seriously looked like he was going to cry and had to clear his throat several times to get his voice back.

I had called him _baby_. I hadn't used the word at all since the hospital. I hadn't even allowed myself to _think_ that word until today. I took this as a good sign that things were starting to get better, moving in the right direction, slowly.

Our food came a few minutes later and I dug into my pasta as Emmett barked out a signature laugh.

"What's so funny fucker?" I said with my mouth full of chicken parmesano. I had taken to eating more on a regular basis in the past week or two and hadn't eaten breakfast, my stomach in knots, so I was starving.

"It's just nice to see you eating again Bella Barbie." He eyed my body up and down which made me blush. "Looks like your getting back to your old self. A few more pounds and you'll be good as new." He leaned across the table and patted my stomach.

Was he for real? Patting my belly?

"Thanks. I think? I don't know if telling a girl that she's gaining weight should be taken as a compliment, but ok..." I knew where my brother bear was going with his comment as soon as I seen his eyes about to pop out of his head, but wanted to play with him a bit.

His jaw dropped and he was fishing for something to say mumbling like an idiot.

"It was a compliment. It's just that you obviously lost a _little_ weight," Edward grunted in agreement with his big brother's remarks. "ok a _lot_ of weight, and it's just nice to see you eating normally."

I looked over at Edward who was trying to stare at his sandwich to avoid eye contact knowing that he was busted for talking about my weight with his brother.

"And I don't suppose _you_ have anything to do with why Emmett knows about my eating habits do you?" I raised my eyebrow at him, giving a half serious stink eye.

Edward didn't say anything, just continued to eat his lunch, so I did something that would get his attention. I slapped him on the back and he choked slightly on his full mouth of food. I didn't really mean for the last part to happen.

"What? I was just being honest." He looked like a kid who just got caught looking at porn. Then he kissed my cheek and gave me the crooked smile that he knew melted me every time. "And it is good to see you eating again, my Love." His eyes lowered to my chest. "Its nice to see some of your curves coming back too." He had the audacity to wink at me, which I knew he was only doing to lighten the mood, but really, was this time to be talking about _that_?

"Pig." I rolled my eyes and gave him a half smile then continued eating.

Jasper had been texting Alice with updates and had missed most of the conversation.

.

"How you doing Bell?" He asked as he dug into his lunch, clueless to the playful banter that had taken place while he was in lala land with his fiancé.

"I'm doing ok. I mean, it makes me physically sick to be in the same room as the fucker, but...I know that the outcome is what's important and we are so close to getting it. But, I'm thinking a drink is in order after all is said and done."

Emmett held up his water glass. "I second that."

With that, the rest of us joined in, clinking our water glasses. We finished up with lunch and made our way back to the courthouse. There were several reporters outside again, but there was nothing to tell them. No decision had been made.

The Judge called the room to order moments later and I found myself sandwiched in between Edward and Jasper once more, while Emmett hovered. Edward had his arm around my shoulders and me nuzzled in to his chest, while Jazz had his hand on my thigh rubbing a soothing pattern. Edward glared at his hand for only a minute before nodding in understanding.

James was brought back in and was seated with his lawyer. The judge went over the case and the evidence, and then the decision was read. James was asked to stand and the knot in my throat took over, making it hard to breathe.

Edward's and Jasper's hold tightened on me as the Judges words were spoken.

James was sentenced to life in a maximum-security prison without a chance for parole.

This was his last offense and with my own ears, I heard those three words, _sentenced to life_. James was charged with three counts; assault on me, escaping his work release program, and manslaughter for our unborn baby. The judge went into detail about each one and the prison arrangements, but that was all just a jumble of words in my head. All I heard was _sentenced to life. _That's all I needed to hear, the guys would fill me in on the rest later.

I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks as I was pulled almost into Edward's lap as he held me, kissing my cheeks and the top of my head whispering over and over in my ear _'It's over baby, it's over."_ Emmett and Jasper's hands were on my back comforting me as I took a moment to compose myself. I tried to reign in the tears knowing that we were still in the courtroom and that James was probably watching this, getting off my vulnerability.

I would have a chance to cry later. Right now I wanted to get the hell out of this courtroom and never see James again.

James stood with an officer and was about to be taken away when I got up the courage to stand and make my way towards him. I'm not sure where this courage came from, but this was my one and only chance to let James know exactly what I was feeling. Deep down I must have known that I would never get this chance again, and it was now or never. I faintly heard Edward trying to stop me, pulling me towards the exit, but I wasn't giving in. Edward realized that I had my mind set, wrapped his arm around my waist and walked with me towards James. The guys followed behind us, with menacing looks on their faces.

There I stood in front of my attacker_, my past_ as a smirk played across his lips. He eyed me up and down like he always did, and the nauseous feeling that I had earlier came over me once more remembering the way he looked at me. This would be the last time he would get the pleasure of doing that.

My tears were dried, no longer would he see me cry.

I was not _his_ victim any longer.

I was going to have my final words with him weather he acted like he was listening or not.

I was livid.

I was angry.

I stood with my body only inches from his as an officer held his handcuffed arms behind him.

I slapped him with all my strength across the face as he winced in pain. I felt a smile play across my lips as Edward's arms slid tighter around my waist comforting me at the same time, holding me so that I didn't do anything I would regret.

My hand stung with the force I had used.

It was the best kind of pain that I had ever felt.

"Hope you enjoy the rest of your life in Hell James. I know I will, knowing where you will be spending that time and whose company you will keep."

James' face was clear of any emotion but I knew that I was having an affect on him, even if it was a small effect. I felt Edward laugh into my hair, and heard Emmett and Jasper. They were enjoying my sarcasm and the little show I was putting on.

"I'm not gonna let you see me cry James. You are a sick fuck that deserves what's coming to you. I am done with you, and you will no longer affect my life. Never again will you hurt me. Never again will you think that I am yours, or was ever yours to begin with. You never had me James. You _never_ did. You will never get the satisfaction of having another woman in your life because of the sadistic shit you pulled although I am sure there are a few men that would enjoy your bed. Unfortunately for you, I have heard that assault on a woman is frowned upon in the prison life, so good luck with that one. You are dead to me James. You took from me what I never thought I could have and I won't ever forgive you for what you've done, but in return you will never see one ounce of emotion from me either. Rot in hell you sick piece of shit." I glared at him in the eyes to find that his were blank. That's fine. I knew James well, and he would deal with his emotions later, probably while his selly named Bubba was selling him off for a pack of cigarettes.

I continued to smile at my bravery, knowing that I must have looked delusional. Edward was pulling me back by the waist as I backed away giving the fucker one last look. Edward was mumbling under his breath, but from what I could make out, he was saying something along the lines of 'that's my girl'.

I kept it together as we made our way out of the courtroom. But as soon as the doors closed and I felt the weight of what I had just accomplished, my stomach betrayed me and I knew I was going to be sick.

I let go of Edward and ran looking for a bathroom. I heard him and the guys follow me as I ran into the ladies restroom and let the door slam behind me.

I found the nearest stall, fell to my knees and emptied my stomach, purging myself of James and everything I had gone through over the last 9 years.

The tears began to fall as I continued to vomit, releasing everything that had been in my stomach until I was dry heaving. I could hear the guys outside pacing, knowing that they were worried and all I really wanted to tell them was that I was fine. I was finally fine.

This is what I needed. I was getting James out of me the only way I knew how. And it felt amazing. It felt good to know that I had the courage to stand up to him like that, and to know that he would never come for me again. I was proud of myself, having the strength and courage to stand up to him like I did. Looking back on the little 17 year old girl that took beating after beating from that monster, I would never in a million years thought that I would be able to do something like that. But once and for all, I realized that I wasn't that little girl anymore and I had grown over the years into a woman who wouldn't allow a guy to treat her like that.

I flushed the toilet and went to the sink to rinse my mouth and splash some water on my face. I looked in the mirror to find my tear-streaked face and see how bad the damage was. But it wasn't the face that I was used to seeing over the last two months. _That_ face had no life to it, no color. It was lost and dead. No hope was seen in those brown eyes, just dread.

This face, _my_ face that was looking back at me in the mirror was alive and full of life. The blotches and tearstains were over looked when I seen the rest of the facial features that were so phenomenal. My brown eyes almost sparkled. I had hope for happiness and knew it wasn't far away. My lips were curved upward into a smile. A smile that I thought was lost and forgotten. It was there, looking back at me, telling me that things were going to be all right.

I rubbed at my make up and watched as my left hand made its way across my face. I watched my ring; _Edwards_ ring as it clung to my finger. This ring signified my future, _our_ future, and I realized in that moment that I was ready to move on.

I was ready to talk to Edward about the attack and the baby. We were going to get through this together and it was going to start _now_.

I found myself smiling at the woman in the mirror. She looked confident and happy.

It was me.

I found myself.

I was back.

I touched up my makeup and fixed my hair as I continued to sort through my revelations then stepped out of the bathroom to find Edward pacing, and Emmett and Jasper on their phones, most likely talking to the girls, and giving them updates.

As I opened the door Edward's eyes met mine. His hair was disheveled as usual sticking up in several places from being pulled, as I am sure he had been running his hands through it more while I had been gone. I stopped to take him in for just a minute. His hair looked like he had just had sex, his top few buttons were undone on his dress shirt showing just a little of his chest hair and his perfectly tattooed body was slumped forward slightly waiting for my reaction. He was beautiful, handsome, the most attractive man I had ever met, and he was _mine_.

His face was worried not knowing what state he would find me in and his lips moved as if he wanted to say something.

I smiled at him. The most genuine smile I had since this all started.

I found myself running towards him and as soon as I was close enough he picked me up while I wrapped my legs around his waist holding him to me. I kissed his lips long and hard with as much passion as I had, while he rubbed his hands up and down my back. I didn't care that my ribs were complaining from the tightness. I didn't care that we were in a public place. Nothing mattered in that moment. I needed this. _We_ needed this.

We held each other like that for a few minutes not saying a word to each other. I looked into his beautiful green eyes staring back at me and wiped a tear that had fallen to his cheek.

"Don't cry baby. The last thing I want is to make you cry." I said as I kissed another tear that fell down his cheek.

Edward gave me one of his crooked smiles that melted my heart. "Good tears I promise baby. Good tears. I wish you could see what I was seeing right now B. Your face. You're back. I haven't seen anything more Angelic in all my life." He kissed me hard again as I tangled my hands in his hair reveling in the feeling of our reunion. In every sense of the word, this was our reunion that we had waited two months for.

"I'm sorry I left. Until just a few minutes ago, I hadn't realized how much I had checked out. But you're right. I'm back. And I promise to never leave you again. I love you so fucking much E. Thank you for sticking it out with me and waiting for me."

We held each other in a tight hug until I heard Jasper clear his throat and Emmett make a cat call.

I realized that I was still lifted around his waist and I slowly released my death grip my legs had given him as he lowered me to the floor. Nothing had mattered when I seen my Edward, but coming back into reality, I notice we were still in the middle of the courthouse. There were many people in the hallway. We were definitely not alone.

Edward released the death grip he had on me, but kept my hand. The smile he wore couldn't be wiped of his face if he tried as he kissed my neck. I reveled in his touch and couldn't get enough of it. We were like two love struck teenagers instead of two adults in their mid twenties who had been in a committed relationship and engaged to be married.

"Can I _please_ hug you Bella Barbie?" Poor Emmett had to be so careful with me lately that he hadn't been able to give his famous bear hugs that I enjoyed just as much as he did. The guy was huge, but really he was just a big teddy bear deep down.

"I've been waiting for it brother bear!" I opened my arms for him as he barreled towards me. Edward pulled me back slightly fearing for my health, but I needed this just as much as Emmett.

Emmett wrapped me into a condensed version of his bear hug lifting me off the ground and twirling me in circles. He kissed my cheek before setting me down.

"Edward was right, you are back. It's so good to have you back sis." He hugged me once more before kissing my cheek and backing away.

Jasper was next and hugged me tightly for several minutes. "Congratulations Bell. It's over. It's over for good." He whispered in my ear. "I finally made good on my promise. This time I can say for certain that for certain, unless Edward fucks up." Jasper gave Edward a look to which he just rolled his eyes at and we all had a good laugh. My tears flowed down my cheeks as I listened to my brother poor his heart out to me. "I promised Mama I would take care of you"

"And you have. Mama would be so proud of you Jazz. _I'm_ so proud of you. We made it." I kissed his cheek as he rubbed my back. "We made it and it's time to finally move forward with our lives." I looked at Jasper and then at Edward to make sure that he got the meaning of those few words.

Jasper nodded as he slowly pulled away.

"How about that drink?" Edward said as he pulled me into his side again. I listened as he cleared his throat as it sounded very thick and I'm sure I made him cry more today that he was comfortable with.

"Lets go get Alice and Rose to so we can celebrate as a family." Jasper said as he pulled out his phone again to alert the girls.

"I think that's a great idea. How about Eclipse? I could really go for a stiff one." I looked at Edward hoping he caught on to my double meaning. Enough with the emotional stuff, we needed to lighten the mood and truly celebrate our victory.

He kissed my cheek as he wiped a stray hair away from my face.

"All you have to do is ask B. You're _stiff one_ is awaiting." He whispered in my ear as we made our way to the door.

"Not this shit again!" Emmett mumbled to himself while shaking his head.

I laughed at my soon to be brother in law as Edward pulled the door open for me. Emmett ran ahead to start the jeep seeing all of the reporters.

Edward wrapped me into his chest as Jasper took my other side and we made it to the jeep. I answered a few questions here and there, but figured they could get their story from the lawyers.

Edward lifted me into the back seat with him and we made our way back to the apartment to pick up Rose and Alice.

An hour later we were sitting at Eclipse working on our second round of drinks. Emmett had gotten a round of tequila shots for us and was toasting.

"This is to Bella Barbie and Edwardo. Finally, things are going to work out in your favor. And I just wanted to say how much I love you both and am so fucking happy to see you back the way you were. I'll take all of the kinky sex talk and all and will try not to complain. And congratulations on your major victory today. It was a long time coming."

We all raised our shot glasses and clinked them as we pulled them back.

Rose opted for water obviously. She was due very soon and rubbed her bulging belly caressing it, and telling Emma Rose how much she was loved.

Sometime during the night, conversation fell on why Ben wasn't here, and the boys rehashed how Ben had gotten his information wrong the first time and that if it wasn't for him, none of this would have happened. I knew Ben, he was a great guy. No he didn't have his information right and I knew he felt guilty as all fuck and that was the reason why he didn't make it to the trial. I made sure that the guys knew damn well that this wasn't his fault and not to even think of him in a bad light, even though I knew I held no power on their thoughts. The subject was dropped and we moved onto happier subjects.

Edward kissed my cheek telling me he would be right back as I slipped into conversation with Rose and Alice about the baby.

A few minutes later I heard the familiar sound of the piano and looked up towards the stage to see Edward sitting behind the piano adjusting the microphone.

His eyes bored into mine as a small smile fell on his crooked lips. Alice and Rose grabbed each of my hands and squeezed gently as I prepared myself for my Edward.

"Hi. I'm Edward and I wanted to play a song for my girl B. She has had a rough couple of weeks and came back to me today." He ran his hand through his hair as he continued to stare at me. "This ones for you love, thank you for coming home."

My eyes filled with tears as I relaxed back in my chair.

He began to play as I was memorized by his voice that I had heard so many times before. But it was as if I was really able to hear him now.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry You don't know how lovely you are. I had to find you, tell you I need you, Tell you I set you apart. Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions, Oh lets go back to the start. Running in circles, Comin' in tails Heads on a science apart. Nobody said it was easy, It's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard. Oh take me back to the start. I was just guessin' at numbers and figures, Pulling the puzzles apart. Questions of science, science and progress Do not speak as loud as my heart. And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me Oh and I rush to the start. Runnin' in circles, Chasin' tails Comin' back as we are Nobody said it was easy, Oh it's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be so hard. I'm goin' back to the start.

His song came to a close and I wiped the tears away from my eyes. I looked to find his glossy eyes staring back at me.

"I love you B. Thank you." He finished and jumped down from the stage as he made his way over to me. I saw Emmett and Jasper give him pats on the back, but his attention was solely on me.

He pulled me out of my seat gently and into a tight hug lifting my feet off the ground. He held me like that for a long time, kissing my cheeks and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

Emmett cleared his throat and I felt a bit of deja vu taking place. Edward set me back down on my feet as he sat pulling me onto his lap.

"Seriously E, you just made every other guy in this room look like total douche compared to that little performance you gave to our girl." Jasper laughed as he took a drink.

"Yeah totally fucker. Thanks a lot. Now that means I gotta find something bigger and better to do to get me laid tonight." Emmett put his arm around Rose as she smacked him the chest.

"Damn right fucker. You should take some pointers from your brother over there. You could learn a thing or two from him. Oh, and 9 months pregnant, sorry to say you aren't getting laid tonight buddy." Rose playfully spat at her husband.

We made our way through another round of drinks as I leaned into Edward's chest listening to the humming as he spoke and laughed with everyone.

We had accomplished so much today and I knew the one last thing we needed to do. One more thing that would complete this day and let us move forward together.

I leaned over to kiss Edward as he wrapped his arm around my stomach pulling me closer.

"Can we go home?" I asked. He nodded and started to stand us up. "I'm ready to talk."

**A/N: Wow. The trial is over. I know that many of you said that James should be hung from his balls and all and as much as that interested me, I couldn't do it. This was the most realistic thing to do.**

**But, I did have a suggestion from a few people that they would be interested in a James POV about the trial and seeing Bella. If I have enough of a response, I might consider doing an outtake for that. Might be kind of interesting.**

**I did make a little diddy about Ben, hoping that would bring some closure to his character in this story. MANY people thought that Ben was in on things with James, and I just wanted to make that clear that he wasn't. He just had some bad information the first time around and didn't really keep a close eye on things like Bella and the gang thought. He's a good guy. No hating on Ben.**

**So, there was a small taste of lemonade in this chapter, and there is more to come. They had to start slowly, seeing that she was brutally attacked only two months prior. And if some of you think it was to soon for Edward to touch her like that, just remember that in previous chapters, Edward has been working with her little by little to get her comfortable again, and this is fiction and I had a time line that I wanted to stay with.**

**I hope that answers some of the questions in advance.**

**Now, we aren't done yet. We still have more chapters to go. I am not going to tell you how many exactly. It has all been written out, but I think I have a few more to add in. Maybe 5-7? We'll see.**

**Hope you all enjoyed and realized that I got this out a few days earlier than usual. Yay Pattsylove! Ok, yeah I just patted myself on the back.**

**I don't want to be a review whore or anything, but really unless you write yourself, you don't know how much the reviews mean to the writer. Even if you want to say hi. That means you took the time to do something in appreciation for the chapter. More and more lurkers have come out of the woodworks, and you can vow that I don't bite. Hard at least.**

**Reviews get teasers. Up next is 'The Talk'.**

**Until next time! Wow that was the longest A/N ever! Anyone still reading?**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Hello hello. Here it is. The talk. Our two favorite lovers open up about how they've been feeling since the night of the attack. It's a bit emotional at times, but it needed to be done, and in the long run they will be better off and so will we.**

**THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing! I love hearing from you guys. And, I wanted to extend a warm welcome to our newcomers. Welcome, welcome, welcome! Happy you've decided to join in the fun!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own nothing. Bummer.**

Chapter 28: The Talk

EPOV

"Can we go home?" Her face had turned serious. After my little public display of affection towards her, she had been emotional and sweet, but now she looked serious, and I wasn't going to be the one to question her, not after all that we had accomplished today. I nodded in agreement thinking that this day had been too much on her, and was ready to get her home and put her to bed.

Then Bella said the four words I've been waiting for.

"_I'm ready to talk."_

My eyes met hers as I pulled us up, not wanting to waste a second if she chose to change her mind. I placed my hands on her cheeks with our foreheads touching looking into her eyes.

"Are you sure Angel?" _Please say yes. _ I had been waiting for this for so long.

Those four words had been playing over and over in my head since the moment we left the hospital hoping for the day she would speak them out loud to me. I knew being patient would pay off, but I'm not gonna lie and say that it had been an easy road that we had been on.

She nodded into my hands. "I'm sure. I'm ready. Can we go?" She asked as she took one of my hands away from her face and intertwined her fingers with mine.

"Anything B. Anything for you." I kissed her head as we said our good byes to our family and walked back to the apartment. I didn't want to waste any time, afraid that she would change her mind and would be in zombie mode once more.

Jasper, knowing as usual, gave me a nod and winked at Bella. Ever since our bonding time in the hospital, Jasper and I were close. Closer than we had ever been, and I appreciated his presence in Bella's life more than I ever had. He didn't need to hear those four words that Bella had spoke to me just minutes ago, to know that this was the conversation I had been praying for, so we could finally move forward. Jasper was truly my other brother in all sense of the word and I loved him like I did Allie or Emmett.

The walk home unfortunately, took us past the alley from _that_ dark night. But instead of walking faster away from it like I had tried, Bella stopped in front of the entrance of the alley staring down into the darkness. I wasn't sure if she was trying to prove something to herself or if she just felt that she had to face her fears, but I didn't like being here, tonight like _this_. I didn't want anything to interfere with our conversation and from the looks of her body and facial expressions she was about to break any minute.

I tightened my grip on her hand and took a step towards the apartment building, but she didn't move. For weighing a little over a hundred pounds, she was a force to be reckoned with and wasn't moving from her spot on that sidewalk.

"B. We don't have to do this. Not tonight." I spoke to late, she was already taking her first step in to the alley.

"Yes we do. _I_ need this." I met her eyes, which were now filled with tears and I could only nod in agreement knowing that she needed to put some closure on what happened and there was no way in hell that I would leave her to do this on her own. I felt ill just standing here like this with her, reliving the last time we were down there together.

We walked down the dark alley hand in hand. The walk felt like I was on death row walking to my execution. Dramatic I know, but with Bella at my side it was definitely eery. If _I_ was feeling like that, I couldn't even imagine what it meant or felt like for my _Bella_. My stomach churned with thoughts of what she was going through at this very moment.

She stopped midway through the alley and leaned against the apartment building. She shut hear eyes leaning her head back, her lips a tight line. I place my hands on her hips and held her there waiting until she was ready to talk.

To let me in.

She placed her hands on my chest and held me to her as I held her. We were supporting each other in more ways than one as usual. Without Bella, I was nothing, she was my rock and I was hers.

My mind went back to that night and the state I found her in. Bile rose in my throat at the thought of seeing my Bella beaten and battered, half naked and near death.

Tears filled my eyes at the thought and I braced myself for what I was going to hear next as her mouth opened and she began to speak.

"I don't know why I went by myself that night." Her voice came out as only a whisper. "I just figured that I was an adult and I could handle walking down the block alone. I mean, it was only _one_ block. I only left you the note just in case you got home before I did, but didn't think anything more of it because it was a five-minute walk there and back. It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't supposed to be anyways. I didn't want to bother anyone because in all honesty, I felt like I had been a bother since all this bull with James started and I wanted to feel independent again. I thought I would be fine, but I was so wrong." Tears flowed down her cheeks as I tried to brush them away.

Her eyes met mine and I nodded for her to continue knowing that any words that I tried to speak would only come out in a squeak as the knot in my throat grew tenfold with every word she spoke. She took a deep breath and started again, her entire body shaking.

"I just wanted some ice cream." Bella stopped and a small laugh escaped her lips but it was a dry laugh. "I'd been on a roll writing that night, and as the night wore on and my craving got worse, I started writing about the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that was just minutes away. I'm still not sure how my female instincts didn't kick in and alert me that cravings and being pregnant walked hand in hand together. I don't know." I brushed a few pieces of hair behind her ears trying to make her as comfortable as possible, hoping she would continue. "And I thought that James was no longer an issue. I was almost home when I heard footsteps behind me. And then I heard his breathing and even though there were no streetlights, I could see his shadow. I could feel him closing in on me. A million thoughts ran through my head at that moment, and it came down to knowing it was the worst situation I could have put myself in, and I shouldn't have gone by myself or that late for the matter. That's when I called you, but as I was just about to speak, he grabbed me and dragged me into the alley."

I kissed her cheeks as she tried to control her breathing. She was working her self into a frenzy as her heart rate accelerated. I needed to calm her down so that she didn't have a panic attack, because she didn't need to be going back to the hospital right now. It killed me to watch her hurting so much, but I knew this all needed to be said if we were going to move on with our lives.

"I didn't know it was him at first…I mean when I was being followed, I didn't know it was James… and then he spoke, and he turned me around and..... I saw...his face. I tried to hit him, to get away at first, but he was to strong and I did nothing to him. I knew he punched and kicked me many times but that is all pretty foggy to me. He slammed my head into the brick wall so many times that I couldn't see clear. I begged for him to stop, but the more I pleaded, the harder his grip was on me. I almost got away when he was...taking.... my.... pants off, I kneed him in the crotch, but he pulled me back, dragging me by the ankle. That's when he ripped my shirt off of me and..... tried to...and then things were starting to go black...and then.... Jasper was there...and he was telling me you were taking care of James...and all I wanted was for you to be there...and..."

I wiped more tears from her eyes, then wiped my own. She was starting to hyperventilate and I needed to calm her, or at least get her off of the present thought that was going through her mind.

"Jasper said you were calling for me, and God B. I am so fucking sorry I wasn't there sooner. I tried to get there as fast as I could; I listened to your screams through the phone as I ran through the building trying to figure out where you were. And then I seen your phone and the ice cream and I heard your loud scream." I laughed ever so slightly hoping that she didn't think I was insane. " And your scream was the best thing I could have heard in that moment, because I knew you were still alive." I kissed her lightly needing to feel her connection.

She grasped at my shirt and held it tightly as she continued releasing all that she had been holding in.

"And....and then I heard you.... and James and I couldn't bear for you to be hurt. I begged Jasper to stop you. I knew you were stronger than him, but I couldn't let him hurt you E. Not because of me." She cried into my shoulder as I cradled her to my chest and flipped us so I was against the building, needing something more to hold us up than just my legs that were starting to feel like jello.

It was so like Bella to be worried about me instead of her. She was half naked, bleeding excessively, barely coherent, but she was worried about if James was going to hit _me_. I loved that she cared, but it was just so unneeded.

"It's ok baby. He didn't hurt me. And even if I would have gotten hurt, I would have done the same thing over and over again." She glared at me and I could tell that I was upsetting her, but I had to get my feelings out just as much as she needed too. Bella needed to know where I was coming from and how I felt about everything. "Just seeing what he did to you made the mad man come out, and if Jasper wouldn't have stopped me, I would have fucking killed him. I would have, and I wouldn't have even felt sorry about it! Not one bit! Emmett had to hold me back as I pleaded with him to let me go. He finally did and I continued pummeling James until Jasper gave me your words." I took Bella's face in my hands and leaned my forehead up against hers. "You Bella, you are the reason I stopped. You made me come back to reality because I knew that it wouldn't have mattered if I killed James or not, the damage had been done and I needed to take care of you."

I held her tightly to me as her little hands wrapped around my neck holding me to her. We stood there for several minutes just crying with each other enveloped in the memories of that night.

"I remember you carrying me, it hurt to breathe, and I had a hard time keeping my eyes open and that's when things went black completely. The next thing I remembered I was waking up holding your hand in the hospital. I missed a lot there in between I think." Her nose scrunched up as she sniffled looking deep in thought.

I nodded. "You did. I carried you out to the side walk to wait for the ambulance that Alice had called and held you in my arms begging you to come back to me." I tried to swallow the knot in my throat but it was unwilling to go away. "When the paramedics came, they had to pry me away from you so they could work on you. I rode with to the hospital, begging, pleading for one of the EMT's to give me some encouraging news about you. But they couldn't. I spent the next 6 hours pacing the waiting room not knowing what the hell was going on. Everyone was there. Everyone. No one left until Carlisle came out of surgery and told us you were going to be in recovery for a while, but that you made it through surgery and that you _would_ come home to me."

The knot in my throat forced me to take a break, letting the tears come harder than I had before. Bella's body shook against mine as she took in my memories.

"I can't even tell you what I felt in that moment when he said you were going to be ok. I cried like a fucking pansy into my mom's arms as she held me. Jasper was beside himself, and the two of us went fucking crazy waiting to finally see you and the proof that you were in deed fine."

I ran my hand through Bella's hair before continuing, knowing how difficult it was for her to relive things from my point of view.

"When I first saw you B. I...I didn't know what to do. You were out cold, tubes down your throat, your body badly bruised, but I had to look. Please don't think of me as a pervert, but I looked at your body and what that monster did to you. I was sick with thinking that if I had just made it there a few minutes earlier; you would have never had to go through all of that. But after having weeks to come to terms with things, I know now that what's done is done. I can't live the rest of my life thinking of what may have been. I stayed with you night and day; Jasper did too, until I finally kicked him out to go home to Alice. Jasper and I had made a pack long ago that he would take care of my sister, as long as I took care of his, and I knew that you would want him with Alice. Carlisle told me that you would be out for a while, but I never thought that would equal to 7 days. Each day my hope began to dwindle as I watched your body wither away. You didn't wake, and you didn't eat, and in my mind you were dying. I couldn't leave you, I thought I wouldn't get to say good bye if I did."

I started to slide down the wall behind me tightening my hold on us, taking Bella with me. I cradled her in my lap as we held each other close, sitting in silence. You could hear the mosquitoes buzzing, the wind blowing stray papers around, and the cars driving down the road. Hell, you could probably of heard a pin drop, it was that quiet, before I spoke again.

"I waited and waited, and waited. And then _finally_ you woke up. You squeezed my hand and you were there. Everything I had been praying for was coming true. You were alive. You were in so much pain and were in and out of consciousness for the next few days..."

"I remember." She cut me off. "I remember you talking to me. I remember hearing you and Jasper talking, although I could never make out the words. You never left, and your voice...your voice is what pulled me through. When I finally woke up and saw you there, my heart was on fire, and all I wanted was for you to hold me, and then I was out again. I remember waking up here and there, and you were always there. Always."

We stared into each other's eyes, feeling one another's pain, taking it as our own.

"Where else would I have been B? I told you I wasn't leaving until I took you home with me, and I meant it." I stared into her eyes before kissing her softly. "My life is nothing without you in it, Bella. I _couldn't_ leave until you were by my side going with me."

She clung to my body as we held one another and took in what was being said. I would remind Bella as often as possible that she was my everything and that I was a lost soul without her presence in my life.

Bella shivered and I realized that it was getting late and dark, and this was _not_ the place for us to continue this conversation.

"Come on B. Lets go upstairs, you're cold and I think we've had enough of this place for one night." I pulled us up and led us to our apartment.

As soon as we were in the door I pulled her to the couch and into my lap again. We were finally getting somewhere and I wasn't going to allow things to end here. We weren't leaving things open ended. This was all getting figured out tonight.

"I think I should start seeing a therapist again for a while." She was playing with the hem of my shirt not wanting to make eye contact as I rubbed her thighs through those silky dress pants she had on. I nodded in agreement. "Just for a few sessions. I mean, I'm feeling better about the situation, but it's just a lot to take in, ya know?"

"I agree. I think seeing a therapist would be a great idea with all that has happened over the past couple of months. But, would you let me come with you? I think this is something we could both benefit from." I so desperately wanted to be there for her in any way that I could. And, maybe I needed to talk to someone about my feelings as well. Being the guy, I didn't want anyone to know how badly this all affected me, but I needed Bella to know that we were in this together.

"If you like." She whispered.

"I would like nothing more. We are a team B. And I plan to do everything together with you. And I think it would be good for both of us to talk to a therapist. Not only about the attack, but about the _baby_ as well." I muttered the last part, knowing this would open a whole new can of worms.

I felt her shoulders slump as more tears flowed from her beautiful brown eyes.

The baby was off limits until now.

She was hurting.

I was hurting.

And it needed to be brought out in the open.

I said the one word that up until today had not been mentioned. And even when she did say it earlier, it was a pet name for me, not the fetus she carried in her stomach for 3 months. That baby and _that_ conversation were about to happen because I couldn't take one more day, one more hour, one more minute of the silence _that_ subject brought to our relationship. We were a couple, about to get married. We needed to discuss this, and in all honesty, what better day to lay everything out on the table?

"I know." She let out a deep breath, surprising me with how easy it was to get her talking. "I didn't even think I could get pregnant. Although, you're the first guy I've ever had sex with unprotected. You are the only man that I'd want to have children with. And if it was a possibility then, I only wanted it to be with you. But the doctors said it wasn't in my cards, and I believed them. I guess I should have had a second opinion or more testing done back in Chicago."

"Thank you for wanting to have my children." It's all I could say without completely losing my shit and crying more than my girl.

There was so much more I wanted to say, but not at this moment.

"James had mutilated my body so badly all those years ago that even though all I've ever wanted was to be a mom, I just thought it wasn't supposed to be. But...when Carlisle came in and told us.... about the.... _baby_, my hopes were lifted and for a mere second I thought that some good came out of this. I would still have _our_ baby… until Carlisle admitted that I _'was'_ pregnant."

Her body slumped forward as she let out another round of tears. I cried right along with her, knowing her pain, feeling her pain.

Her pain was my own.

I held her tighter trying to comfort her. "I know B. The thoughts that went through my mind when he said you were 3 months along, God; I was the happiest fucker, until he said you miscarried. I'm so sorry B. So fucking sorry. I wanted you to have my baby." I rubbed my hand over non-existent stomach thinking of how it would be to feel our baby kick or move. "I loved the idea of our baby growing in there."

She cried harder into my chest as I rocked us back and forth trying to calm us both down. It wasn't even worth trying to push the tears aside at this point. I cried along with her mourning again our loss.

I kissed her temple and nuzzled my nose into her hair letting her scent wash over me, calm me.

"I know it's not my fault that the baby didn't survive, but I still can't help but feel that I was weak. That if I could only have been stronger, I would still be pregnant. I would have gone to the doctor and done my pre-natal stuff, gotten the shot for my blood disease and all. Because, now, what are our chances? Are we going to have that option still? I just don't know."

"Yes, we will. We'll talk to Carlisle when you are ready and see what he can tell us, and if we can't get pregnant again, then we'll adopt. One way or another, we _will_ have our family B. I promise you that." I placed my finger under her chin and connected our eyes, making sure she knew how serious I was about our future.

"I want to have your baby E. Only yours." She rubbed her hands over her stomach cradling it. "The thought of carrying your child...words cannot express how badly I want that. And I can't tell you how many dreams I have had _about_ our children."

I hugged her tighter and kissed her once more as I let out a small giggle. "I've dreamt those same dreams sweet girl." I swallowed the knot in my throat and blinked my tear filled eyes clean. "_Our_ children, our little girl that has big brown eyes and long flowing hair, a spitting image of her mommy, blushing in embarrassment at every compliment thrown her way, falling over her own feet, and someday falling in love with a guy that I'll shoo away with my shot gun."

We both laughed and cried at the thought.

"And our little boy, bronze haired and green eyed, a womanizer just out of diapers." We laughed together again at the images of our future children. "I dreamt that he would be just like his daddy."

I met her eyes once more and kissed her sweet lips passionately.

"It will all still happen Angel. And when you're ready, we can start trying that route again." She gave me a questioning look. "I'm ready to be a father B. I want to be a father just as much as you want to be a mother. I want nothing more." I rubbed her flat stomach. "And I can't wait to see your belly grow with my child, and I can't wait to go to a movie theatre, buy a ticket to get in just to get you an extra large tub of popcorn with their special butter. And I can't wait for the mood swings and the swollen feet. I want it all. I want it with you."

She laughed at my pregnant image of her before kissing me on the cheek.

"It's funny that you would say the movie theatre butter popcorn, because that totally sounds like something that I would want." She ran her hand through my hair and I moaned at her touch. "I can't believe you're ready right _now_ to have children with me. I just thought that if it happened, it happened and we would let nature take its course. But now that I've been pregnant, and...._not_ pregnant, there is nothing more than I want."

"When you're ready, love. I want you fully healed before I get you knocked up..._again_." I tried to make a joke of it, but realized that it may not have come off that way. But Bella just shrugged me off and I was so grateful that she wasn't so up and down anymore.

"I know what you're saying _baby_, and don't worry, I think it is a good idea to wait until I am fully healed until we go that route, again. And I think it would be even better for us to see that therapist first to, so that we can work on healing ourselves emotionally before we throw a child into the mix." This girl was amazing. I put my foot in my mouth and she helps me pull it out time and time again.

Sadly, even though I hoped and prayed that Bella would be able to get pregnant again, there was no definite that she would. But I would do anything; spend any amount of money if that's what it took. And even if we did adopt, they would still be our children, whether they had big brown eyes, or my green ones.

"If you were about three months pregnant, would that have been about the time we were in Vegas?" I had been wondering this for quite a while.

"I suppose you're right. A Vegas baby. Maybe even the night that we got engaged! Who knows. I guess we will never know. Even if it wasn't a Vegas baby, we can still think it was." She looked down at my chest. I really had no clue if we had gotten pregnant in Vegas, but it was a nice thought and one we decided to go with.

"Maybe we could go for a Jamaica baby. What do you think?" I tried to bait her, knowing damn well that she had no idea what I was talking about.

"Jamaica, huh?" I kissed her pouty lips as she took in what I was saying.

"I wanted to surprise you, but I booked our honeymoon. Jamaica, in our own private villa for 10 days. Full house, private pool, boat, all the goods. We leave the day after the wedding. What do you say to that?" I stared into her eyes waiting for her reaction.

"I say that your idea sounds awesome! But seriously, that is some major money, and I haven't finished my next book and I suppose we could dip into savings..."

I cut her off by placing my finger over her lips.

"You have nothing to worry about. Money is not an issue nor will it ever be. I don't think you realize the extent to what my grandfather Mason left me, on top of what my grandfather Vic Cullen left." She nodded for me to continue. "The shop is my toy. It is a toy for all of us. That's why we open and close it when we want too. I love to work on my art, it's my passion. And if I can help others in the process, then it's all good."

"This really isn't any of my business E. That's _your_ money and I don't want to pry." She tried to shy away but I wasn't having it.

"No, in less than two months, it will be _our_ money. So it is _your_ business. Trust me when I say that you will be well taken care of the rest of your life. Write when you want to write, and I will work, as I want too. I have millions in the bank and CD's and investments, and also a few pieces of property that were left to me. My birth parents may not have given a shit about me, but my birth fathers family did apparently. But, not all of it is from my family; I used to sell paintings and saved all of the money. Believe it or not, I even composed several pieces of music back in the day that I sold off." Her eyes bugged out of her head. Yeah, I guess I kind of kept a lot to myself. Most people see the tattoos and put me in a category, and don't look past them. But they were just my way of expressing the things I had gone through in life, not how intelligent or business savvy I was. "So please don't think of me as the rich kid that has a trust fund. I have worked for some of it, and am very responsible with investments."

"Wow. I have a pretty good amount in savings, but I figured it was just for a rainy day. Doesn't sound like I need to worry so much. Ok...this is weird. I haven't ever lived off of someone else, and am not sue if I like the idea of it. I _can_ take care of myself you know E." Always so stubborn, but I wouldn't have her any other way.

"Of course you can B. That's not what I'm implying. I just want you to know that if I want to take my wife on a nice trip or buy her expensive jewelry, I can, and I _will_." I kissed her nose as her lips turned into a smile.

"Just as long as you know I am capable." I nodded giving her the crooked smile she loved. "Jamaica it is for our honey moon then." She said, trying to get me off the money subject, then hugged me tightly around the neck. "But about the trying part..."

"Lets talk to Carlisle and see what our options are. But if you and I are ready for a baby, I don't see why we would need to use any precaution..._when_ you're ready that is. We never have, so I don't see _why_ we would start now." I cut her off quickly and then shut up so I didn't put my foot back in my mouth.

"_When_ I'm ready, you will be the first one to know Cullen." She kissed below my ear. "And believe me when I tell you, it will be soon. I miss you as much as you miss me."

I gripped her in a tight hug holding her there without speaking for several minutes. It was nice to hold her like this again. Having to be careful with every touch because of her injuries was tough. I never got the full connection I was looking for. But it was back, and I held her in my arms, never wanting to let her go.

"Thank you B, for letting me in. I can't tell you how much it means to me to be having this discussion with you. Thank you." I placed a light kiss on her lips, then leaned my head into the crook of her neck.

"It was time. And after today, I felt it was appropriate for us to start moving on. Lets go to counseling together and work on more shit. But I'm ready to start moving forward. And although I won't ever forget our baby, I know that we need to be happy again."

I couldn't agree more.

Bella was still shivering pretty fiercely from our time outside, so I decided that a shower was in order. Even though it was summer, it was close to midnight and it was cold out. Slowly I stripped her of her clothes as we waited for the water to heat up. I kissed every inch of skin I could, dropping to my knees and showing the same love to her lower half. She pulled me up and did the same to me before we stepped into the shower and sensually washed one another. It was intimate and romantic, and as much as I needed a release, all I wanted was to hold Bella in my arms, let her know how much I truly loved her. We kissed passionately, making out like two teenagers, but minus the need for more. Right now, Bella in my arms, her lips on mine, was all that I needed.

A half hour later, the water started to run cold and we got out. I dried her body off and took the pajamas from her hands and throwing them on the dresser, wanting to feel her skin on skin for the rest of the night.

I brought Bella to bed shortly after, where we held each other for hours.

No words were spoken.

None were needed.

We held each other, stealing kisses left and right, enjoying our new openness with one another.

My Bella was back.

We were going to be ok.

Life was going to move forward starting today.

_Our_ life would start.

**A/N: Good tears, right? We kinda already knew how they both were feeling, but they needed to tell each other. And for all of you that have asked, yes, there will be children in their future, so cheer up!**

**Oh, and if you haven't read it yet, and are looking for something to brighten your mood, check out my new fic 'Give and Take'. It's got some laughs, smut, and obnoxiously overbearing best friends. Go on over and take a peak if you haven't already.**

**Reviews are like a taste of the sexin' that's going down in the next chapter. Yup, it's back and you're not gonna want to miss it! Push the button and give me some love.**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Hello hello. I know it has been forever since I last posted, but here it is, and like I promised last chapter, there is some smut, so…not gonna write anything else up here, as you probably won't read it anyways.**

**THANK YOU for all the reviews!! Much appreciated as always!**

**  
Disclaimer: SM's stuff. Not mine.**

Chapter 29: Nice and Slow

BPOV

It has been three months since the attack. Three _long_ months.

My body was all but healed. My ribs were no longer sore, bruising long gone.

Edward and I started to see a therapist together after our talk. We had gone 6 times total, two times a week. It was the best decision for our relationship and us.

We talked about the attack and what affect it had on my life, on his life, and the life that we were creating together. We were each given the chance to talk about _that_ night, and the affect it had on us. Tears were shed, and real feelings were out in the open. I told Edward how empty I had felt, and he explained how useless he thought he was, which led to more tears, hugs and kisses, reassuring one another of the place we held in one another's lives.

We talked about my past with James and Jake and the experiences I had been through.

We talked about Edwards past with girls, drugs and fighting. Edward was opening up more about his anger and how to control it so that he wouldn't actually _kill_ the next guy that tried to talk to me.

He was making progress slowly.

We talked about James's incarceration and about how empowered I felt that day in the courtroom. Edwards eyes lit up during this session and he told me how proud he was of me for standing up for myself. He also told me how hard it was for him to just stand back and watch, wanting to join in and 'fuck him up'. But Edward let me have my say because he knew how badly I needed to put my own closure on that part of my life. _That_ part being the hold James held over me for so long.

We talked about the lack of our sex life. I was now fully healed physically, and the intimacy we were both craving was high on the list of things we went over, seeing that before all of this happened, we had a _very_ active sexual history. Edward expressed his excitement about opening _that_ book again, which didn't surprise me too much. I responded with letting him know it would be soon. We had done a bit of fooling around here and there, but I didn't want to be in any pain, and I didn't want him to blame himself for putting me in pain, because knowing Edward, if I was in the slightest amount of discomfort, he would beat himself up for thinking he was the cause of it.

And lastly, we talked about the baby. This was the hardest of all. We both shared how we felt about the situation and how much losing our first child affected us both more than either of us thought possible. This also led us to talking about our future and where we saw our family and ourselves. By the time all was said and done, this was the subject that we both felt was most productive.

Counseling helped us open up to each other like never before. I hadn't ever felt so close to someone in all my life. Including Jasper. Jasper was still my best friend, my brother, but Edward was my sole mate, my soon to be husband. My lover.

Edward had gone back to working at the shop on a regular basis. Alex went back home to LA with hopes to come back here and there to help out and stay in touch. His store was doing well with business; he had three artists that basically ran the place for him. He and his wife were lonely out in LA and were hoping to spend more time in the city. You could see how happy it made Edward to have his buddy around a little more, and with the prospects of him coming back more often.

We had gone back to our old routine of being at the shop together daily. Edward still didn't let me out of his sight for long, and I wouldn't have it any other way. The only time I left him in the last three months was to do dress fittings and wedding shit, but I was with Rose and Alice and we checked in _very_ often per Edwards request.

I hadn't worked on my book since returning home from the hospital. Sadly I put it on the back burner for the time being and have yet to finish it. The last time I had really worked on it was the night of the attack, and every time that I've even looked at the file it sits in on my laptop, I cringe. Will the book ever be finished? At this point I wasn't too sure. Besides, with my name being put on the shop, Alice let me take over most of the paperwork, which kept me fairly busy.

I liked having my place at the shop. I wasn't just sitting there day after day like I had been, working on my own shit. I worked on the books, inventory, appointments, whatever Edward needs. I also just watched him work. As Edward had told me previously, neither of us were hurting for money, and deep down I knew it. I knew the nest egg I had stashed and after finding out just how much he had in savings and investments, I felt myself relax.

Edward had wanted us to start looking for a place outside of the city, somewhere near his parents, a gated community, so that if we wanted to get out of the city for weekends or whatever, we had a place to go. I loved this idea and had been looking properties up left and right. We had yet to find a place to agree upon or a realtor that looked past all the ink and seen us for who we were. Edwards anger seemed to come out tenfold when we were trying to work with realtors. They seen him as some punk with tattoo's, and one time he went off on a guy and blatantly told him how much money he had sitting in his bank account, which shut the guy right up real fast.

Needless to say, he wasn't our current realtor.

Rose was due in the next week or so, well actually she was close to being _overdue_, and she was ready and willing to pop. She was so uncomfortable that bitchy Rose was in full force. We did the best with her as we could, accommodating her cravings and orders. Emmett rubbed her feet, back, arms, you name it. Alice and I were there emotionally for her. And we all silently prayed for little Emma Rose to make her entrance into this world.

Soon.

The wedding was a month away. Alice and Esme had worked together on all of the plans, as I didn't want to be overwhelmed with everything. I sure as hell wasn't ready for any of that business. We had a gazebo in Central Park reserved for our small wedding party, and were going to celebrate afterwards with a party at the ballroom at The Plaza. Carlisle insisted on renting the entire hotel so that he could invite family friends and colleagues and treat us to a memorable night.

We had spoken to Carlisle after emotions died down a little, and he ran further tests on me to check our possibilities for future pregnancies. I had a lot of scar tissue around my uterus but it didn't mean that my possibilities of future pregnancies weren't achievable. The doctor back in Chicago obviously didn't have his research straight or hadn't taken the time to actually asses my situation. So, with a doctors blessing we were just going to let nature take its course from here. Carlisle also explained that I would need to monitor my body closely and take random pregnancy tests so that when and if I became pregnant, I would know to get in to see him as soon as possible so that I could get the recommended treatments for my condition and be monitored closely.

And that brings us to the present.

Jasper and Edward had just closed up shop; Alice and I were joining them for a few drinks at Eclipse. Emmett and Rose were at home trying a few techniques to help little Emma Rose make her presence known so they would not be coming out with us, obviously.

Edward had told Emmett to give her a good 'romp' as sex is said to progress labor, but Rose snarled at the idea and started sharing information about her mucus plug and nasty shit that shut Edward up pretty fast.

That put the damper on things for poor Emmett as well, who hadn't gotten any in weeks.

Poor fool.

Alice and I got ready in the back room where I threw on a deep blue spaghetti strap tank top with my white capris. Although I despised them, I threw on a white silk thong so the panty lines didn't play a role in my outfit.

Alice had a pink tube top and black capris that she changed into and looked like the hot little pixie I knew and loved. We both did our hair quickly, mine going up in a ponytail, Alice's getting a bit more spikey, then touched up our make up before going out front to meet up with the guys.

Edwards eyes bugged out of his head when he took in how much skin I was revealing. This was nothing compared to the many outfits that I had previously displayed in my past, but it was the most skin I had shown since the attack.

It was time to start feeling like myself again. Scars and everything, I showed it all.

"You look beautiful baby." Edward basically moaned as he kissed along my neck, wrapping me in his arms. His hands glided over my bare shoulders as I watched his smile get bigger and bigger. "I _love_ the outfit."

My stomach did flips at the sound of his husky voice, and I found myself excited to know that _I_ was the reason for this reaction.

I couldn't help but blush with the fact that his voice was going straight to my silk clad center. It had been a while since he had been able to make me blush like that, but it was a feeling I would gladly accept any day.

I was thinking that the lack of sex in our relationship needed to end soon.

Maybe even tonight.

"Thank you. You don't look half bad your self." I gave Edward a wink as I ran my hand across his rock hard chest, wanting to run my hands under his shirt and get a better feel of him, but remembered that we weren't alone when Jasper cleared his throat. Edward had thrown on a button down plaid shirt over his black t-shirt and jeans and as usual looked like the sex God he was. He smiled back melting my heart just a bit more as I continued to ogle his body.

"You ready to go?" His voice was like velvet, melting me inch by inch. I nodded in agreement. He looked to Jasper and Alice and they nodded as well. Edward locked up the shop, setting the alarm and we were on our way.

We made our way down to Eclipse and found an empty table close to the stage and ordered our drinks. It was about 11pm on a Friday night, and the place was only semi busy which was kind of odd. Usually it was pretty busy this time of night, but the light crowd was a nice change of scenery. Perfect for us.

I had found that I liked crowds even less than before the attack. A packed bar meant that there was always someone bumping into you, or 'accidentally' feeling you up, and I didn't necessarily appreciate crowds. For good reason of course.

I wasn't very comfortable with unwanted touches anymore. Not that I ever was, but now was a different story. Jasper and Emmett were the only two guys I felt comfortable being around other than Edward. Carlisle was ok as well, and I guess so was Alex, but I still held my boundaries even around them.

Edward ordered a round of drinks for us and we sat talking about Rose and the baby that was due to make her arrival at any time. I saw Edward swallow back the bile that rose in his throat while Alice and I decided to rehash the mucus plug incident.

He didn't find it to funny to say the least.

"So last night she made Emmett get her some cookie crisp cereal and syrup. That's seriously fucked up." Edward cringed as he spoke the words. "She said that Emma was craving it." I loved how he used his fingers to quote 'Emma', rolling his eyes as he spoke.

"That's just as bad as the pickles and ice cream she had this morning." Jasper shook his head from side to side as he took a drink from his whiskey. "When you're pregnant, I hope you don't have any of those kind of cravings, I don't think my stomach could take it Allie."

Jasper wrapped his arms around Alice and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek making her smile from ear to ear.

"Well, that will all be up to your future son or daughter when the time comes won't it?" Alice shot back, raising her eyebrow testing him to see if he was going to take this farther.

Jasper winked at her, then kissed the side of her head smiling all the while. I could see the gleam in his eyes at the thought of their future children.

Edwards arm wrapped around the back of my chair, his fingers glided over my shoulder and under my neck, massaging my tattoo. Not sure what's gotten into me, but his hands on me were like fire. The fire that I used to feel every time he touched me. I hadn't felt it for so long, and reveled in the sensation, appreciating its come back.

"Bella? Did _you_ have any cravings?" Alice had gotten brave over the last week or so, and felt the need to talk about the baby, a lot. I was getting better at opening up, thanks to the counseling and didn't shy away from the questions like I used too, but that didn't stop everyone from cringing whenever anything was brought up. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that."

Alice looked down as Jasper rubbed her side. She seemed upset with herself that she asked, and I didn't want her to feel that way, not because of me. Edward kissed my cheek reassuringly and wrapped me into his side a little tighter.

"No, don't be sorry. Its ok." I thought about my cravings, and the obvious one that everyone knew about, which I wasn't going to mention. "Well other than the one that you all know about, I just remember being so fucking hungry all the time. So, I don't know, I guess that's the best I got." I remembered back to our trip to Vegas. I wanted to eat everything on the damn menu. I thought it was from all the lovin' we had, but apparently that wasn't the case.

"The way your stomach growled, I felt like I wasn't feeding you properly." Edward said as he laughed at the thought, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his long locks.

Jasper and Alice laughed, I joined in, realizing what I must have sounded like.

"Yeah, I remember you saying something like that a time or two." I joked back, rolling my eyes at my fiancé.

Edward placed his hand over my stomach and massaged it lightly. This was something he did on a daily basis, and as much as I loved his touch, it also brought my thoughts back to _why_ he was doing it. A tear pooled in my eye and I tried hard to not let it drop to my cheek. Edward was watching me closely and saw as it fell over my cheek and kissed it away.

"Soon Angel. Soon." He whispered in my ear, keeping his face close to mine, trailing kisses down my neck. He was good at distractions, I had to give him that much.

I gave him a weak smile and kissed his cheek.

"I think I'm going to excuse my self for a minute and freshen up." I stood from the table as Edward took my hand, a worried look on his face. "Its ok baby, just need a minute, ok?"

He nodded and kissed my hand, reluctantly letting go.

"Tink? You coming?" I asked, knowing that Edward would feel better if someone went with me. And to be honest, I felt more comfortable having someone with me.

Alice stood and grabbed my hand as we made our way back to the bathroom. Alice tried to apologize for bringing the baby up, but I just smiled at her and shrugged it off.

It really was no big deal. I was just sensitive.

Alice and I chatted for a while in the bathroom while we fixed our makeup then made our way back out. I grabbed her hand as she led me through a crowd of people, which were bumping into us left and right.

There were bodies touching me on either side, and I was really fucking uncomfortable. People were to close for my liking.

Alice's hand got detached from mine at some point, and I lost site of her. The crowd had gotten bigger in here over the last hour or so like it usually was for a weekend evening. We had been so wrapped up in our own conversation that I hadn't even noticed.

A tall guy nicely dressed in a green polo and jeans blocked me from moving forward in my quest to find Alice.

I tried to move around him, but he only stepped closer until his chest was up against me.

I pushed my hands up against him ready to put those self-defense classes to good use, feeling my anxiety and heart rate increase by the second.

"You better back the fuck off right now asshole!" I yelled at him over the music, while making eye contact with the guy that did not want to move out of my way.

My eyes bored into his and I made it apparent that I wasn't going to be fucked with.

His hands came to rest on my sides as I flinched at the contact, attempting to push them off of me.

"Come on baby. Just wanted to introduce myself and say hi." He smiled at me as he rubbed my sides up and down as my nails started to dig into his flesh.

I reached down and tugged at his hands firmly until he lost his grip. I then took his hand and twisted it backwards until he screamed out in pain.

"What gives you the fucking right to put your hands on me? You think its ok to touch anyone you want?" I screamed at him. "And I'm not your baby, might want to get that through your thick head!"

The guy didn't answer only cringed his face in pain as I tightened my grip.

I felt him get pulled from my grasp as Edward came up behind him and pulled him back against a table. He pushed the guy again making him fall backwards on his ass.

He leaned down over the asshole and grabbed him by the hair until the guy was looking Edward in the eye.

"I think my girl asked you a question fucktard! Are you going to answer her?" He yelled as he bent down so they were face to face.

I stood beside Edward with my hand on his back. I didn't want him to fight. Not that he couldn't hold his own, that much was completely obvious, but I didn't want him to lose his temper or control after doing so well in counseling.

The guy didn't say anything, and Edward hit his head to the floor while grabbing his shirt and pulling him back up.

"Answer her fucker. What gives you the right to touch my girl or _any_ girl for that matter?"

I pulled Edwards shirt back as he loosened his grip on the guy.

"Sorry man, I didn't realize she was taken. We're cool, ok?" The guy held his hands out in front of him, asking for Edward to leave him alone.

"Doesn't matter if she was taken or not. What gives you the right to put your hands on a girl you perv? Did you ever take into consideration that maybe she didn't _want_ to be touched, or any girl for that matter? Maybe that's why you come here by yourself tonight. Because you don't know how to treat a woman!"

Edward slammed the guy's head down one more time, not paying attention to my grip on his shirt.

Jasper grabbed his arm and pulled him up as I grasped on to his side. When my hands made contact with his body, I felt him start to relax almost immediately.

"E. Lets go man. Its not worth it." Jasper got right in Edwards face. He had experience with him when he got heated, and knew that if he could get his attention, he'd walk away.

Edward just nodded and reached around to grab my hand taking it in his and wrapping his arm around my waist with his other.

I leaned into his side knowing that my touch was calming to him and that he was indeed walking away from a potentially gruesome fight.

"You did good baby. You didn't even take him out back or anything." I said with a smile playing on my lips.

Edward looked down at me and kissed my temple.

"You ok B? Did he hurt you? Because I can go back and finish this shit!" He stopped dead in his tracks waiting for my answer.

"No baby. I was handling it just fine before you showed up." I kissed his chest.

"I saw. I was fucking proud of my girl, but I had to step in. Nobody puts their hands on you. Hope you didn't mind me stepping in." He ran his hand through his hair as he tried to fight the smile that was playing along his lips.

"Of course not. But I fucking hate crowds. I lost Alice and was trying to find her. Next time I'm handcuffing us together."

Edward stopped again just as we made our way outside and groaned as he pushed his hips into mine from behind me.

"Are you fucking serious B? You really want to talk about handcuffing yourself to another woman after I haven't had sex in over three months? That's just cruel Angel." I think he was blocking out the part about being handcuffed to his sister, but yeah, I could see where he was coming from.

He continued to rock his hips into mine as I felt his prominent hard on pressed against my ass.

"Sorry. Didn't realize what I was saying. But it is kind of a turn on isn't it?" I joked. _He_ was turning me on, and not that I wanted him to fight or anything, but the way the veins popped out in his flexed arms, and his chiseled face went hard, I had a difficult time thinking of anything but what he could be doing with all that energy he seemed to have.

His jaw dropped as his eyes bored into my own. His pants tightened from the major wood he was now carrying and I pitied him. But more than pitty, I was turned on and was having a hard time not taking his hand and rubbing against my heated core that direly needed some attention.

"No baby, say that shit all you like." I was standing completely in front of Edward as he wrapped his arms around my waist and humped me from behind. "As long as I get to do _this_, I'm good."

I placed my hands over his that were resting over my stomach smirking to myself about the affect that I had on my man.

"You want to go home?" I turned my head back to speak looking into his dark lust filled green eyes, trying to give him my best doe eyes that he always seemed to like.

I tried to give him a sexy grin, and by the way that his semi was hitting my ass, it worked as planned.

"Fuck yes!" He breathed into my ear as his hands began traveling lower, both moving in for the kill at the same time, rubbing my pussy through my pants. "Dear Lord baby, are you wet for me?"

Before I could say anything more or answer his questions which he obviously knew the answer to, Edward lifted me up and over his shoulder so my ass was in his face, and his ass had a nice place in front of mine.

I felt him smack my ass hard, jumping and screaming at the contact, and prayed he would do it again.

He was walking really fast and I once again was grateful for living so close to the bar. I faintly remember saying good night to Alice and Jasper as we made our way to our apartment. Edward was not his usually composed self, fumbling with his keys in the lock, hitting it twice before he found the right key and was able to unlock and push the door open. Edward set me down as soon as we were inside and pushed me up against the door kissing me fiercely on the lips, our tongues mingling, fighting for dominance, tasting one another, welcoming each other home. The sexual tension was so strong, the room felt suffocating as if we didn't make love right this second, we would both combust.

My hands tangled themselves into Edward's hair and pulled his head to my own. It had been months since we had full fledge sex, that was all ending tonight.

Edwards hands were up my sides, under my tank top and brushing ghostly over the sides of my breasts causing electric currents to run through my body with every touch, making me tingle with desire for more.

I moaned with every touch of his hand as it found a new place to welcome with his strong hands. His lips were no longer on mine, but kissing every exposed area of skin that he could. Edward kissed down my neck, across my shoulders and currently had his head in between my breast sucking and licking at the swells that were peaking out of my shirt.

Edward pushed back, his lips leaving my skin, and I groaned at the lack of contact wanting his touch back immediately.

Edwards eyes stared into mine, I knew he was contemplating with himself if he should continue, or if we had gone to far.

"What do you want B? I don't think I can stop if we take this any further..." I cut him off pushing my lips into his once more, opening his mouth with mine and taking control of his tongue as they danced together for dominance.

I place my arms around his neck molding our bodies together as one, showing him that I didn't want to stop what was happening. I felt his hands on my hips, lifting me from the floor as I wrapped my legs around his waist, grinding his rock hard cock into where I needed it most.

"I want." kiss "you" kiss "to" kiss "make" kiss "love to me E." He groaned at those few little words and walked us to the bedroom where he threw me gently on the bed, bringing himself on top of me, his eyes never leaving my own, assessing my mood, the situation and what was about to happen.

"Are you sure baby?" He questioned in between kissing down my neck and over my clothed stomach, stopping at my pant line. I nodded my head for him to continue, praying that he would listen to what I was telling him, and not mentally berate himself on if we were doing this to soon, even though he had to know that we both needed this connection. "Tell me if I hurt you or if you need to stop."

"I definitely won't be telling you to stop baby." I said as I brought his face back to mine and kissed him fervishly on the mouth. "Make me feel good E. Please. It's been so long..."

Edwards hands became hungrier moving across my chest, grasping my breasts in his palms, before making there way down my stomach and to the button on my capris, where his head was still at, eyeing my clothed pussy very carefully, licking his lips in anticipation.

He stopped there, hesitating for only a second until I bucked my hips into his chin. That seemed to be the trick, he gave me a crooked smile before kissing just below my belly button.

Edward undid my pants slowly sliding them over my hips and off my legs, throwing them to the floor. I watched his eyes as they trailed from my legs to my core, staring at the tiny piece of white silk that was the only barrier between the two of us.

He fingered over my slick entrance moaning in pleasure yet again. His hands cupped my ass from behind, squeezing and massaging as he stared at me.

"You're wearing a thong for me?" I nodded and bit my finger playfully, because I knew he ate that shit up. "Fuck B. You _never_ wear thongs! I fucking love you! You were planning this, weren't you?" He barely got the words out before attacking my lips once again. I could only giggle in response knowing that nothing more needed to be said.

He pulled my tank top off of me and stared at my white lace bra as I heard the shirt clunk to the floor, joining the pants in a cluttered mess. I almost had to laugh and blush for the way he was looking at me, kinda like I was a steak, and he was a hungry dog.

EPOV

First she wears clothing that actually shows of her fucking fine figure again, _then_ she makes a man cry for getting in her face, _which that, in and of itself gave me a permanent hard on_ and the silky thong, and now...fuck...the bra.

_Oh my God. Wipe the drool and keep going so she doesn't think you just jizzed yourself._

Well, I practically did, but I'm young, I can reload fast. Especially at the sight of her...no problem.

I pulled Bella to me so she was sitting in my lap, and placed wet kisses down her neck, across her collarbone, and under her beautiful breasts. I sucked on her hardened nipples through her poor excuse for a bra as I continued to rub my hands up and down her smooth sides.

Bastard am I, I started to fucking hump her leg. The motherland was so fucking close and it was calling for me and I had to have some kind of friction for the time being.

It was practically _screaming_ for me to take action.

_No wait, that was my dick, which twitched begging to come out and play. And I was finally going to be able to tell it yes for once. _

Lefty was going to be left out tonight, no need for the Jergens either.

Bella sucked on her finger, which only turned me on further, and she fucking knew it, making my cock twitch against my leg begging for some attention.

Little tease.

_My_ tease.

I removed her bra letting the twins free, and I swear to the high heavens that my dick cheered out when they were released from the prison also known as her bra.

I smiled at the sight of them, and couldn't help my hands as they each found one of her perfect tits to cup and pinch, listening to her moans and watching her eyes shut in pure pleasure.

When she opened her eyes again, I looked in them once more to make sure this is what she wanted. I was a bastard and all, but I wasn't going to push her just for my own fucking pleasure.

Her eyes were lust filled and wanting more. Her hips bucked into my leg that was nestled into the motherland.

The heat that radiated from her pussy screamed for my dick to be released so he could come play. The twins were already released, and he was feeling left out.

Bella had the same thing on her mind as she went for the hem of my shirt and pulled it up and over my head. Her hands rested on my chest then went to my nipple rings, twisting them in her tiny fingers. I fucking moaned at the pleasure not giving a damn if every neighbor in the entire fucking building came knocking on our door with noise complaints. She knew how much I loved when she did that shit.

I held her close to me laying her back down on the bed, kneeling between her legs with my hands on the small of her back. I sucked on her collarbone as her little hands went for my belt and then my zipper.

My cock was pressed so tight against the fabric of my jeans that I was actually surprised that they didn't rip on contact as the zipper was pulled down.

Bella pulled down my pants with her hands the best she could, then removed them with her feet making us both laugh at her eagerness, leaving me in boxers and her in that tiny ass thong that made my mouth water just thinking about it.

"I love you so fucking much B. You are absolutely breath taking Angel." I whispered in her ear, then kissed my way down her flat stomach reveling each time she shivered at my touch.

Her hands twisted in my hair and I moaned at the feel of her nails on my scalp digging deeper and deeper.

"I love you too baby, so fucking much." She moaned loudly as I pulled her thong down and kissed her clit. "More."

What my baby wants, my baby gets. I pulled the tiny piece of offensive fabric down and tossed it on the pile as I bent down lower kissing her inner thighs as I made my way towards her wet pussy.

"Tell me what you want B. This is all for you tonight baby." I said as I kissed closer to where she most wanted it knowing that she must be in complete torture by this point.

"Kiss me, lick me, fuck me." She moaned, writhing on the bed, with her hands running through her hair.

"I will do all of the above but fuck you. Tonight I'm making love to you. Any other night I will fuck you however you need to be." It was true, as much as I needed to be inside Bella, I didn't want it to be anything quick or with the thought of just going for a fast release. I wanted her to feel the love that was between us, especially after everything that had happened and all the progress we've made.

"Can you get any more perfect?" She asked as she ran her hands across my chest and down my stomach.

I kissed her clit again and laughed meeting her eyes.

"Can you?"

She laughed back. I ran two fingers down her wet slit toying with her before dipping them inside. She was so wet and ready for me, I nearly came apart...again.

I sucked on her clit as my fingers thrust in and out of her, picking up speed as they went. She was so tight and slick and I was so happy to be going home.

"You taste so fucking good B. Just like I remembered." I moaned into her clit more to myself than anything, but apparently she heard me.

"Thank you baby. This feels...so...fucking...oh...fuck...good...I'm...oh" Her eyes rolled back in her head, lips parted, breathing labored.

I loved seeing her like this. She couldn't even form a whole sentence, and as her walls tightened around my fingers, her first orgasm of the night shot through her.

I removed my fingers from her as I dropped my boxers and pumped my man a few times giving him a pep talk.

_Ok buddy, this is what we've been waiting months for. Now don't get all excited and be a two-pump chump. She's not going to invite you back if that happens._

"Are you ready for me love?" I said with a breathy voice.

"More than ready." She said as she played with her nipple ring. _Oh my God, keep playing with yourself!_

_Please don't be a two-pump chump! Please!_

Kneeling between her legs, I spread her lips with my fingers, spreading the wetness she created. I entered her slowly making us both gasp in unison as I made my way completely inside of her wet kitty. I groaned at the feeling of being so deep in her after the worst dry spell of my life.

I was home.

I started off slow, wanting to show her that I just wanted to love her, but her hips bucked up into mine meeting me thrust for thrust and I picked up the pace.

"Harder E. Harder." She breathed pulling at the sheets, her knuckles turning white with how tight her grip was. At first I thought I was hurting her and wanted to pull out and stop, but the smile on her face told me that she was totally blissed out and I knew I would give her whatever she wanted from this point on, just to see that look on her face.

What my baby wants, she gets.

I thrust in her harder and harder, faster and faster until her walls tightened around me again as she screamed out my name over and over. I came shortly after, riding out my orgasm then collapsed on top of her, kissing her neck, her beautiful tits and lastly her mouth.

"I love you baby. Thank you." I kissed her again rolling to the side so I didn't crush her small body with mine. I was thanking her for the sex, but more importantly, thanking her for letting us have that connection once again.

"Thank you. That was just what I needed." She kissed my cheek again, a permanent goofy smile plastered across her face.

We lay there naked in each other's arms, eventually falling asleep.

Being in her felt too damn good and only a few hours later, I was awoken by my steel hard dick wanting another round. I must have groping Bella's ass in my sleep, but she didn't seem to mind as she rubbed her self on me as she continued to sleep.

We made love 3 more times that night. It was gentle and caring, and full of all the feelings that we had for each other over the last few months. Being with my Bella again was better than I had imagined it being. Our sex life had always been extremely amazing, but there was something different about it now, and I can't put my finger on exactly what it was that made it different, better, but whatever it was, I would be eternally grateful for its presence in our lives.

It was a little after 4 in the morning, we had just made love for the 4th time and I was fucking spent. If I was this tired, I had no clue how Bella was even still talking to me.

"E? I want something to remember the baby by." Bella was laying across my chest as I lazily rubbed her back with my dull nails.

"Like what? A statue or a picture or something?" I hadn't thought of having something to remember the baby by, but of course, that's why I had Bella, because she would think of this type of thing.

"No....a tattoo. I want him with me always." She kissed my chest, and I could feel her smiling against my skin.

"_Him_ huh? And what if it was a little girl?" I played back while kissing her forehead. I had always thought our baby was a little boy as well, but didn't think I needed to mention that to her.

"No. It was a little boy. I know it was. My little _Anthony_."

The name took me back, and I was silent for a minute. _Was she, who was she naming the baby after..._

"Anthony?"

"Edward Anthony, your first son is named after you of course. Who else do you think I'm talking about? His real father that I met at the bar 5 months ago, oh that's right, I haven't been anywhere by myself for longer than that...so maybe we should name him little Emmett or Jasper..."

I cut her off by placing my hand over her mouth, which she sucked on. I obviously knew it was my child and that she was trying to be funny, but I was still trying to soak up the meaning of the name and that she would even think to name our son after me.

"B.... no kidding about that shit. Anthony." I paused again, thinking about my son grinning from ear to ear like a little girl. "I like it. I want to get it too. What are we getting and where?"

She held out her right wrist and pointed to the inside.

"Here. That's where I want mine. That way I can have a reminder of him everyday." She kissed my cheek and I took her wrist and kissed the spot.

I thought about my own arm and that exact space, and thought there would be just enough room under my sleeve to fit his name.

"I think its perfect. When?"

She sat straight up placing her hand over my stomach.

"Now?" She asked with a gleam in her eyes.

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her back down. Yes, I was excited for this too, but we were starting to take this a little too far, especially seeing that we hadn't had the quietest of nights.

"B. It's 4 in the fucking morning. I'm spent from all the fucking, I mean loving." She rolled her eyes as my little mix up. "Give me a few hours to sleep and we'll bug Jasper to go in early with us so he can do mine. Ok?"

She nodded in contentment and we fell asleep.

I'd love to say that it was a blissful sleep, but sadly I was awoken by 8am to get moving by my wonderful fiancé laying next to me.

My bargain to get up that fucking early was a little shower sex.

Little E was a happy man, and ready to go for the day.

We bribed Jasper with donuts and we were at the shop by 9:30am.

I did the tattoo on Bella's inner right wrist and Jasper did mine. They were identical and I was ecstatic that we both had the same reminder with us forever of our first child together.

No matter what happened, it would not be our last child together, that much I was certain.

**A/N: So….what did ya think? I was having trouble getting this chapter just right but I think it came out ok. We are getting closer to the end here kiddies, so stick with me. I think we have 3 more chapters left or so, and then an epilogue. Have no fear, my other story 'Give and Take' is in full swing and I have 3 other stories in the works, so if you like 'Never Again' and are willing to put up with my grammatical errors, then by all means, put me on author alert and read my other stuff.**

**Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! We got LOTS of snow here in Minnesota, in my area, about a foot and a half. No fun to shovel, enough said.**

**As you know, reviews are like gold here in the FF world, so do me a favor and push the green button and say hello. If you're a writer, you know how much it means to you to get reviews; it is pretty much what makes you continue on. **

**Reviews are better than being abstinent for 3 months, then having the hottest sex on the planet with Edward motherfucking Cullen. You know what I mean if you are as obsessed with him/Rob as I am.**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Welcome back to Never Again. Hope you all had a wonderful New Years! The bachelor/bachelorette party takes place in this chapter if I didn't already tell you.**

**Warning: Graphic lemons, don't say I didn't warn you. (Not like you aren't reading this story for the lemons in the first place, right?) There's boobs too, just to let you know. **

**I have to give a shout out to a few new readers that went through and Reviewed EVERY chapter! You really have no idea what that meant to me! Even if it is just a little smiley face (wink wink), it shows that you took the time to at least show me that you read the chapter.**

**Reviews were WAY down last chapter, which is funny, because I gave you a pretty good lemon and all. BUT I had over 1500 hits, which makes no sense that the reviews would have been down. Whatever I guess. Just venting. My constant supports, you know that you each hold a special place in my FF heart!**

Chapter 30: Fuck for a buck?

BPOV

Tonight was the combined hag/stag party. Our wedding wasn't for a couple more weeks, but we wanted to include Emmett and Rosalie before Emma Rose made her entrance into this world, so tonight was the night.

Rose was 1 day over due, and _really_ getting bitchy. Lets face it, she's been bitchy for most of the pregnancy, but none of us were going to say anything. _Come on, do we look stupid?_

Alice had gotten Rose and herself black wife beaters that said _'Bella's Bitches'_ in rhinestones on the front, with _'Property of Emmett'_ and _'Property of Jasper'_ on the backs. They were actually really cute and I couldn't wait to see the looks on the boy's faces when they seen their girls.

Alice had one made for me as well in white that said _'Taken'_ and on the back was _'Soon to be Mrs. Cullen'_. I was glad that she decided _not_ to put _'Edward's Bitch'_ on the front as originally planned.

Alice had gotten the guys t-shirts as well of course. The fronts of Emmett's and Jaspers said _'Edwards Fuckers' _and the backs were _'Property of Prego' _and _'Property of Tink'_.

Rose loved the '_Prego'_ title, and poor Alice got an eye roll from her, and then had to fetch her some Salt and Vinegar chips for punishment.

Whatever. One of us would have had to get them for her no matter what, so it really wasn't any more of a punishment than we were already going through.

Alex had flown in with his wife whom I was meeting for the first time. Her name was Jane, short petite little blonde. Alice had made them shirts as well, and they finished out our well-decorated party.

The guys were in the living room of our apartment getting hammered as us girls were in our bedroom getting dressed and making an utter mess out of the place in the process, which I knew Edward would have a shit fit about later on.

Rose looked hot as fuck in her tight tank top; DD boobs, jean skirt and knee high black boots with a low heal. Her hair was cascading around her shoulders in lose waves making me want to be a blonde. She looked like she had just stepped out of a magazine. We really should have made her wear the shirt '_taken'_ seeing that she was the one with the protruding belly and all.

Alice, Jane and I were dressed similar, only my tank was white. And Alice insisted I wear my red lacy push up bra to allow the twins to make an appearance as much as possible. The red stuck out on top and you could clearly see it through the tank top. I wasn't terribly comfortable with all the flesh that I was forced to show, but Alice insisted that it was my 'last night as a single woman' which it really wasn't, but anyways, she said that I needed to make Edward's night a little more entertaining. In addition to the red bra/white tank idea, Alice had taken a scissors to the shirt last minute and cut a 3-inch slit down the front and put body glitter all over my chest.

And then everyone else rubbed glitter on themselves because it was a night to be princesses, making me feel like a little girl playing dress up. Only this was _adult_ dress up. My dad would be rolling in his grave if he seen me right now.

Alice insisted that I wear my knee high black _fuck me_ boots with a high heal, saying that Edward would cream himself on contact. I agreed to wear them after reminding Alice that this was her brother she was talking about, even though I knew he would be carrying me home by the end of the night because of the boots.

Rose curled my hair then piled it on top of my head with bobby pins so my work on my neck and upper back was showing. My eyes were smokey, and even though Rose insisted I wear red lipstick, I went with a nude lip-gloss that had sparkles in it and made them all shiny. I looked kind of like a whore with the dark eyes if you asked me, but I guess it was for a good cause.

Alice did her short black hair spiky and I took the scissors to hers, Rose's and Jane's shirts, so they were showing just as much cleavage as I was. If I was going out looking like this, then so were they. Besides, the guys would all thank me for it later, that I was sure of.

We were all sleeping in separate places tonight, so why not have a good time with it? Oh wait, Alex and Jane were stuck with us.

I would try to keep it quiet for them.

_Or not...who knows._

We were all ready to make our appearance in the living room, after spraying down in my favorite perfume when Alice pulled out a Spencer's bag.

"What's in the bag Tink?" I asked as I finished off my glass of champagne, playfully pointing to the bag.

"Well Bella, it is your bachelorette party, so there are a few things we wanted you to have." She gave me a wink, and then pulled out a plastic tiara, which Rose attached to my hair with a few bobby pins. "This is for you to be the princess that you are. And no princess would be complete without" She pulled a glittery wand out of the bag. "her wand. Now you can grant wishes to everyone all night. Oh and" She pulled out a small bag of glitter with a strap that would go over my wrist. "here is your fairy dust for when you grant wishes."

I began laughing hysterically, feeling the several glasses of champagne I had consumed over the last hour kick in. She really did think of everything, and I loved glitter, so it was perfect that I got to 'grant wishes' all night and make everyone sparkly.

I took one last look in the mirror, with my tiara in place, my wand in my hand and the bag of glitter on my wrist I was ready to go.

Then Jane started pinning condoms on my shirt. I looked at her with a curious glance wondering why in the world she would think I needed condoms, and this many. _And_, on my shirt where people could see them nonetheless.

"It's _fuck for a buck_ Bella. Guys buy the condoms off of you for a buck. Make some money tonight, Sugar!" I laughed again as I shook my head at the thought and how jealous Edward was going to be with just the thought of a guy asking me for a condom.

"Ok Bella, you're ready. Lets go meet the guys." Rose said as she pulled my hand and we made our way out into the living room. For once in the past few months, she wasn't bitchy, didn't seem too uncomfortable and I was excited to get this night started.

EPOV

Tonight was the combined hag/stag party. Bella and I decided that we wanted to do the party together as the 6 of us always ended up that way in the end. The guys and girls agreed without much of a fuss. Emmett, Jasper and Alex were in charge of all of the festivities, which made me excited and nervous at the same time. As excited as I was knowing that these were three of the biggest perverts I had ever met, I was nervous, hoping it wouldn't be too much for Bella. She had been doing so well in the past few weeks, our sex life was amazing once again and I didn't want anything too 'interesting' to make her fall back at all.

The girls were in our bedroom probably making a huge mess getting dolled up, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I was too excited to see what they came out in, well Bella that is. All I knew is I had a black wife beater on that said _'Bella's Mine'_ and the back said, _'Better not touch her.' _So, I could only imagine what hers said.

I had to laugh at the shirts my buddies were wearing. _'Edwards fuckers'_. My little sister obviously put a lot of thought into the clothing we each were assigned to wear.

I put on the cologne that B loves so much and a pair of my new $200 jeans that she _insisted_ we buy because they 'made my ass look fuckable' as she put it. Whatever. As long as it got me a bit of pussy later, I was all for it. I matched the outfit with a pair of black docs ran my hand through my hair a few times and was set to go.

The guys were all dressed similar and we were definitely a sight to fucking see. I was just picturing the kind of attention that we were going to get tonight. All the guys had full sleeves up their arms that were accentuated by the wife beaters they were wearing and I thought we were looking pretty good.

We were sitting around getting drunk on Grey Goose and Jack making conversation waiting for the girls to finish. They were taking for fucking ever, and I could feel my buzz kicking in more and more as the time went on.

"So...anyone gonna tell me where the fuck we're headed tonight?" I asked as I took another shot.

"Fuck no, you're gonna just have to go with the flow tonight Eddie." I smacked Emmett in the chest knowing damn well I hated that fucking nickname as the shit-eating grin made its way to his lips.

"Just as long as its something B wants to do, I'm cool." I nodded my head nonchalantly hoping that what they had planned would be something Bella was ok with.

The three guys started snickering, and I got nervous.

"Oh, I don't think B will have a problem with _anything_ E." Alex said. "You'll probably even get a good _romp_ out of it, which speaking of, you do remember that I'm sleeping here tonight right?" Damn it! He was right, and if I had thought ahead a little, I would have booked them a hotel or something. Or just had them stay with someone else, because Bella wasn't quiet, everyone knew that and I was the last one that would be telling her to put a cork in it while I was fucking the hell out of her.

"Yes fucker, I remember, and you just remember that I went for over 3 months without sex, so if my girl is loud then you're just going to have to deal with it. Got it?" I messed up Alex's hair as he grinned at me punching me in the arm.

We fucked around a bit longer until I heard the door open and the girls finally walked out. Alice had Bella's hand and I really wish I wouldn't have stood when she came out. _Damn Esme for raising me like a God Damn gentleman!_

My shot glass fell to the ground splattering Jack on Emmett's pants as my drunken stooper took over making me harder than I had been, _ever_. The sight in front of me was too much to take.

Bella was wearing her fuck me boots that went up to her knees. God I loved when she wore those.

_Oh what's that?_ My dick twitched letting me know he liked them too.

I adjusted myself just a bit and Jasper cleared his throat reminding me that there were other people in the room while I was openly eye fucking my girl.

I waved him off not taking my eyes off my girl as the guys broke out laughing. There voices were muffled in the background sounding more like static than anything, as all of my senses were zoned in on one thing. My Bella.

Bella's little, and I mean _little_ jean skirt came up mid thigh, and she was wearing a white wife beater, with '_taken'_ on the front, and ungh...the red bra.

Fuck.

I loved that bra, and if my memory was right, there was a matching red thong that went with it, and I heard myself moan at the thought, which didn't help my case one bit with the other guys in the room making their laughs louder.

Bella had some kind of tiara on her head too, and it was kind of cute. Not sexy or anything, but it was cute and made her really stand out which was probably the point.

I ran my hands through my hair as I tried to get myself in check but all I could see was Bella, and the way she moved in those boots. The way I wanted to fuck her with those boots on. The way I wanted the heels of those boots to dig into my shoulders as I was going down on her.

I faintly remember Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett, Jane and Alex meeting up with each other and cat calls being made at their women, but all I could really see was Bella.

I started to make my way towards her licking my lips and playing with my tongue ring in anticipation of tasting her puffy lips that so badly needed to be kissed.

I stood in front of her placing my hands on her hips, mesmerized by the way they were swaying from side to side as I leaned in and kissed the 'E' under her ear.

My nose skimmed along her collarbone and I was done for.

"Fuck B. Can we just go back in there for a few minutes." I adjusted my cock again; because he was yelling at me for some attention as I pointed to the bedroom she just came out of. "A few minutes is all I need I swear." I must have sounded pretty desperate, but I was desperate so I didn't much care.

She laughed at the current state I was in as she wrapped her hands into my hair and pulled me up against her, taking my bottom lip between hers, sucking on it, before we were in a full fledge make out session. I tasted champagne as our tongues intertwined, and then she pulled away, giving me those seductive doe eyes.

"You don't look so bad yourself Cullen. And as much as I _want_ to take you back there, we have a house full of our friends, and to be honest" she whispered in my ear as she ran her hands through my hair "I don't _want_ just a few minutes of your time."

I groaned at her words, a bit louder than I intended and Emmett came up behind me, clapping his big hand on my shoulder.

"Don't mind him Bella Barbie. He's about three sheets to the wind right now. And from the looks of it, he's a bit excited to see you." Emmett was laughing to himself as Bella blushed a bright red knowing exactly what he was talking about.

I knocked Emmett up side the head the best I could in my drunken stage, and he locked my head under his huge fucking arm making me give first. Bella pulled me to her, shaking her head at the two of us, before wrapping her arms around my waist from behind and moving her hands up and down my stomach, which was not helping the man below to calm the fuck down at all.

The girls all looked fucking hot as hell, and I knew we had our work cut out for us tonight making sure the wrong kind of attention wasn't given. _Maybe we shouldn't have drunk so much. But I guess it's to late for that little thought now, isn't it?_ I walked hand in hand with Bella over to a chair and plopped her hard into my lap trying to let my cock get some of the friction he was craving.

She wiggled around there for several minutes as I pressed into her, trying not to hump her in front of everyone. The more I thought about it, all her wiggling around was on purpose, I could see the sly smile forming on her lips.

I took another shot because it was my party and all, then passed one to Bella and watched as she licked the rim of the glass before downing the shot. Never in my life had I wanted to be a shot glass so much.

I held her tightly to me as I let my hands wander up and down her sides, taking in her body and what she was wearing more now that we had calmed down a little.

"What the fuck is with the crown and shit?" I tried to get her wand, but she wasn't having any of that. Apparently she was a little protective of the wand. It was cute.

"I'm the princess, and this is my wand that I get to grant wishes with." She shook the little bag that was attached to her wrist over my head as sparkly shit went fucking everywhere. "And this is my magic fairy dust that makes the wishes come true."

I wrapped my arm around her stomach letting my hand nudge the front of her skimpy skirt down just a little as I whispered in her ear. "Baby, your magic wand is in my fucking pants, and I got some fairy dust down there too, that is sure to make ALL your dreams come true."

She moved up and down on my lap again as I moaned at what her movements were doing to my ever ready and hard cock. "You aren't fighting fair baby. Not fair at all." Her voice was hoarse and deep, and I could tell that she was getting more and more turned on with the little game we were playing.

"And you're one to talk? With this get up? Your tits are practically _screaming_ at me to be sucked on, and the glitter, and the skirt and your fuck me boots, oh and '_taken'_ written on your shirt...come on B. You're killing me over here." She was wrapped so tightly in my arms that I was having a hard time not banging her right here in front of our friends and family.

"Ok, maybe just a quickie, but I want the real show later." She grabbed my hand and we started towards the bedroom and I was cheery inside like a fucking kid getting what I wanted until Alice stepped in front of us.

Cock blocked by my own sister!

_Oh, right, house full of people._ Fuck!

"I don't think so guys. We have presents to open, and then the limo will be here and we can't be late!" Alice clapped her hands together with an evil grin, knowing that she just cock blocked me as she walked us back into the living room.

I plopped on to the couch and pulled Bella into my lap again, trying to cover my very noticeable hard on that wanted to make him self-known, not caring that we would have a large audience if he did.

"So.... presents?" I asked Bella. She just shook her shoulders as if she had no clue.

Alice handed her a pink fruity bag as she continued to hold her wand in her hand. She wasn't giving that thing up for anything.

If I didn't already feel how hard my cock was, I wouldn't have thought it could have gotten much worse. There in the bag, Bella pulled out a deep blue skimpy as all fuck piece of lace. I don't even know what you call something like that. It was see through and had spaghetti straps that would be ripped within seconds, by my teeth no doubt, and a matching thong.

I shifted uncomfortably once again as Bella threw it on my chest. I just left it there knowing that if I touched it, I was going to have to go change my jeans because these would be full of jizz.

The guys hooted and hollered as the girls made catcalls at the scantily clad shit B was pulling out of the bags. I was no prude of course, so I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited as fucking hell to see what else she was going to be modeling for me at a later time.

As the bags kept getting passed over, I seen that there were several more pieces like the first in pinks, purples, greens and finally white, and I was starting to hump her in front of everyone, not even caring anymore. It probably didn't help that with each bag she opened, one of the guys would hand me a shot adding to the buzz I was already working with.

There were also thigh high stockings, various other pieces of lingerie, dildos, lubes, (like my girl would need any of that), porn videos, beads (yup, anal beads, courtesy of my sister Alice), and clit massagers.

Bella just threw everything on my chest taunting me worse and worse each time making my resolve slowly diminish until it was almost completely gone.

When all was said and done, I was covered in the dirty paraphernalia and Bella had to take it all off of me knowing that I was about to lose my load any second if I did actually touch any of it. She was having a good time tormenting me, even dropping a few thongs on my face then _accidentally_ rubbing them over my lips before taking them away.

My buddies thought this was the funniest shit in the world, watching me squirm and shit. I guess if it was one of them, I would have thought the same way, but I wasn't just watching this all play out, I was living it. Payback was a bitch fuckers!

Eventually, we made our way down to the limo, my hard on and all watched as a white Hummer Limo pulled up in front of the building.

My eyes lit up with excitement at what the guys had thought to get us for tonight as we helped the girls in, not wanting to give anyone a show with those short skirts. Rose used a step stool of course not wanting to hurt the baby at all. Once we were all in and settled, we popped several bottles of champagne to get things really started, as if they hadn't been hours ago.

We drove down town and made several passes before stopping at _'Forbidden'_ a new club that was known for their cage dancers. Now, if I were just a few years younger, not about to get married in just a few weeks, this would have been my favorite hang out.

I love me some cage dancers.

We made our way in and ordered drinks because apparently we hadn't already drank enough, before Bella pulled my drunken ass onto the dance floor.

BPOV

Edward was so hammered.

He kept looking at me, licking his lips like he wanted to eat me or something, which I wouldn't fight him on or anything, but he was usually a little better about reigning in his feelings around the guys. Well, not really, but I'd like to think he was.

I wondered what the guys had given him before we came out of the bedroom back at the apartment. He was sexy as hell, eyes glazed over and hornier than I knew what to do with, especially because the other 6 people in our apartment weren't letting us do anything.

I _loved_ when he was like this though, all handsy, not caring who or what was around. It made me feel like our old selves again and I couldn't have been happier when he suggested that we have a little quickie. I knew it was going to be quick, it had to be, but then Alice the cock blocker extraordinaire made her appearance, stopping us from the release I knew we both desperately needed.

I seriously thought he was going to cream himself with all the naughty things I was throwing on his chest when we were opening up all our gifts. Our friends were a bunch of perverts, but I have to say that they had pretty good taste. But the _anal beads_? Come on Alice. Be real.

Edward held me on his lap while we were in the limo even though there was plenty of room to fan out. I knew that space wasn't an issue in this case. We could have been on an airplane, all alone and I would have still been sitting in his lap, trying not to imagine his hard cock underneath me, rubbing against my ass.

He tried fingering me twice because it was nice and dark, but the possibilities of getting caught were just to high, and I was not drunk enough for that.

_Yet_.

We were at _'Forbidden'_ and Edward was watching the cage dancers with his mouth hanging open as Emmett was shoving shots down his throat, when I pulled him by the hand to the dance floor, hoping that Emmett and Alex would lay off the drinks for a few minutes and I could get Edward's focus back on me.

Sean Kingston's 'Beautiful Girl' came on and he wrapped his arms low on my waist grinding me on to his leg which was strategically placed between my thighs.

I went with it, knowing how good the feeling was on my swollen clit. The more we grinded, the worse my need for a release had become. I was so wet that it was practically dripping down my thighs and onto Edward's pants. At one point he noticed, and pushed me against him harder making me scream out in pleasure wanting more.

I twisted my hands in his hair and pulled him in close for a kiss, wrapping my tongue around his tasting the mixture of drinks on his tongue. I was so hot and horny I started full fledge humping his leg, begging for some kind of release.

We were heavily into our make out session when Alice tapped my shoulder. I pushed her away with my hand, but the tapping continued and reluctantly I pulled myself off of Edward long enough to see what she wanted. I looked back to see that she had several guys behind her that were eying up my chest. Great. Just what drunkward needs right now.

"What the fuck Tink?" I yelled looking at all the guys praying that my ever jealous and rage filled fiancé could keep his cool long enough to deal with Alice.

She ripped a condom off my shirt and held it up to my blurry eyes for me to see.

"Fuck for a buck baby. These guys are looking for a fuck." She smiled laughing at her own joke.

Edward looked at her questioning her statement and wrapped me tighter to him and I could feel him tensing up, preparing for what I thought would be a fight. What he did next surprised the hell out of me.

"Fuck that shit. No fucking, unless _I'm_ the one getting fucked, and no one is watching that shit." He pulled out a $100 bill and shoved it down my cleavage, letting his hand roam my left tit a little longer than he probably should have and gave me a cocky grin as he started ripping off every last condom on my shirt and throwing them to the ground. "There. No more fucks. They're all boughten." He kissed me again not giving Alice any eye contact keeping them on my lips the entire time. "Now move along!" He shoed her away with his hands, pulling me in close again.

I started laughing hysterically at his mannerisms and sucked his bottom lip between mine as he humped my leg _again_.

"Lets get out of here for a minute." I kissed him again as he nodded and we made our way back to the handicap bathroom and locked the door before anyone could make their way in.

We needed to be quick, knowing our crowd; they would be bombarding us any minute if they found out that we were both missing.

Edwards hands were on my ass pulling my short skirt up around my waist as I hitched a leg around his waist. He ran his hand up and down the back of my thigh as he sucked hungrily on my shoulder eliciting moan after moan from my mouth. There was no need in worrying how loud I was, seeing that we were in a club and you could feel the music from outside bounce off the walls.

The bulge in his pants grew more defined, making me dip my hand in his boxers and stroke it, running my hand up and down his shaft.

"Fuck B! I've been waiting for that for hours." He moaned into my neck as he continued to suck, I knew I would have a hickey there in the morning, but just didn't have it in me to care.

He brought his eyes down to my lace-covered pussy, keeping them there for what felt like hours.

Edward growled when he seen that I was wearing the lacey red thong that matched my very prominent showing bra. He sucked on the swells of my breasts that were showing and nuzzled his face into my bra so that he was sucking on my left nipple, pulling lightly on my ring. I moaned over and over again at the feeling, loving what he was doing, but wanting more at the same time.

He must have been reading my mind and plunged two fingers in me as I screamed out in pleasure. There was no going slow waiting for me to be ready; there was urgency, as we didn't know how much time we had together.

I propped my leg up on the toilet to give him a better angle as his thumb found my clit and began rubbing circles around my piercing while his fingers worked themselves in and out finding my g-spot.

I couldn't take any more and my orgasm over took my entire body as it shook through me. Edward only held me closer to him as my body rocked into him.

He pulled out his fingers out slowly, then brought them up to my lips, rubbing against my bottom lip, before I opened my mouth, letting him push them in as his mouth dropped open. I sucked on them greedily knowing that if it was possible; I was turning him on more.

"B. I need more." He moaned into my ear as he sucked on my 'E' tattoo just below my ear. Doesn't matter that I just had a mind-blowing orgasm, his lips on me were like fire and I was having a hard time concentrating.

"Sure you do. Tell me what you want. And you got it." I whispered back.

I loved when he talked dirty and told me what he wanted from me.

"I want you to get on your knees and suck my cock before I explode in my pants." On command I knelt down in front of him as he unzipped his pants and pulled his silk boxers down to his thighs.

I stroked him once before taking as much as I could in my mouth, letting him hit the back of my throat as I went. He pushed my head into his crotch and held me there as he fucked my mouth.

He was dominant and forceful, and I loved it. He didn't usually hold my mouth there, but we also hadn't done anything like this when he had been so drunk either.

Never the less, I loved the way he took control, which was saying a lot especially after the past few months.

He continued to fuck my mouth as I massaged his balls. His cock twitched, I felt warm shots fill my mouth. I swallowed down everything he gave me, keeping it open for him to see before I swallowed. I had seen it in porn once, and the guy really seemed to like it.

From the look on his face, I didn't disappoint.

I pulled his pants back up as I stood and buttoned them for him as he seemed just a little too relaxed to do it for himself.

Edward seemed to still be on his post orgasm high as he grabbed my ass, lifting me until my legs were around his waist. He pushed me back against the door, holding me there as he stared into my eyes.

He kissed me hard holding me against the wall as he caught his breath.

"That was so fucking hot B! I feel like I am marrying my own little porn star. God I am the luckiest son of a bitch alive!"

"That makes two of us then. I couldn't be luckier E." I kissed him once more before he put me back down and we made our exit from the bathroom.

Rose and Alex were standing there with their arms folded over their chests, huge ass grins across their faces, obviously knowing what we had been up to.

I leaned into Edwards side as he ran his hand through his messy hair that was now sticking up in every direction.

"Are you better now? Or are we gonna see a return of godzilla later?" Rose was pointing to Edwards pants as we both broke out laughing.

"Better." I answered for him as I kissed his bicep and he laughed into my hair before kissing my crown.

"You got fucking glitter all over your fucking hair man. What? Did she promise to grant you a thousand wishes or something?" Alex punched Edward in the arm laughing hysterically as I looked to find his hair completely sparkly along with his black shirt and arms.

I looked down to see my little bag still attached to my wrist and let out a little giggle.

Oops. I guess that's what happens when you slam me up against the wall like that.

I would be the last one to complain though…

"Were all your wishes granted E?" I said seductively into his ear as I felt his arm that was around my waist pull me closer to him.

"Almost. I'm still getting fucked at least once tonight." He whispered back, but by the way that Rose and Alex were looking at us, the totally heard it. I've learned over the years that when you are drunk and you say something that you _think_ is quiet, it never really is.

Rose pulled down my skirt, which was still pretty high on my waist, and if I wasn't standing against Edward, my thonged ass would have been on proud display. I appreciated her just a little more in that moment, seeing that Edward wasn't really paying attention to the little details I guess.

"Thanks." I nodded my head at her as she took my hand and whisked me away from Edward.

I looked back not wanting to leave him, but he looked pretty engrossed in a conversation with Alex. I hoped to all hell that he kept his hand in his pocket. He didn't need to assault Alex with his pussy fingers seeing that I didn't remember him washing them after our little bathroom romp.

I was brought over to a table where Jasper and Emmett were, and Alex joined us a minute later. I noticed Edward at a table on the other side of the dance floor.

There were shots lined up across the table and I groaned thinking of what we were going to do. Watching Edward take all the shots the guys had given him throughout the night was bad enough, but now they were going to do it to me, and I _really_ wasn't looking forward to tomorrow morning.

"Bell. As your kind of last night as a single woman, we wanted to give you a last chance to back out. Take it or leave it." Jasper joked as he wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.

"I don't think so. I got what I want." I bumped him on the head with my wand, sprinkling glitter on him in the process, making him roll his eyes at me. But, he had nothing to complain about, seeing that his shirt and face was already covered in glitter, making me think about _how_ he got all that glitter on him in the first place. _Then_ I realized that I didn't want to know. "So what's up with all the shots?" There were 20 to be exact and my eyes bugged out at all the different colors.

"There's 5 for each of us, so don't get your panties in a bunch." Emmett stared down at my skirt then back up at me giving me a wink. "That's if you're even wearing any. Anyways, wee are each going to go around the table and say something about you and Edward, and after we'll toast."

I nodded as Alex started and let out a breath of air knowing that they weren't all for me.

"Edward has been my bro since high school, and I've seen him with several woman" Emmett hit him in the side. "Ok not _that_ many, but my point is, I've never seen him happier than he is now. Cheers to you Bella for making him that happy and pulling him out of the funk he's been in for so long."

We raised our glasses and took our first shot. Slippery Nipple it was called. Not bad, I could do another one of those.

"Well Bell, what can I say." Jasper started, and I tried to amp myself up for what I knew was going to be a tearjerker. "I've known you my entire life. And I can honestly say that I've never seen you this happy. Ever. And I know it's Edward that's putting that smile on your face. And although it sucks major ass to have to hear you guys every other day in the back room 'romping' it up, I am truly happy for you and cant wait to see what the future holds for you both. I love you Bell and am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished over this past year." I gave Jasper a hug and a kiss before we did the next shot, wiping the tear in my eye before anyone seen it.

Leprechaun piss. Tasted like Mt. Dew. Not bad either.

Emmett put his arm around me leaning his heavy frame on me. He was obviously 3 sheets to the wind.

"Bella Barbie. What can I say; you brought my brother back out of the stupor he was in. And I will forever be in your debt for that alone. Thank you for coming into his life and making him relax a little so he isn't such a spaz. Oh and I am so gonna get you a gag so I don't have to hear anything more coming from the back room. Cheers to you and you're moaning." He did a fake gagging sound that made me blush red with embarrassment. All the guys laughed as they picked up their shots.

I hit Emmett on the head with my wand sprinkling him with my glitter dust for the moaning comment.

This one was strawberry shortcake and I actually wanted more.

"So, I guess it's my turn to toast?" They all nodded. "Well, ok then. I want to toast to the three of you for being such great friends to both Edward and I. Alex even though I don't know you like Emmett and Jasper, you have been there for me several times in the last year, and I can't ever thank you enough for that. Emmett, thank you for being the older brother that I have always wanted. Although you are a total perv, you're totally going to make a kick ass father, and I can't wait to turn your kid on you. And Jasper...I'm not gonna get all weepy and shit, because that's not what this night is about, but you know where you stand in my life, and will always be my brother for life. I love you and can't wait to watch the next chapters of our lives play out together." I kissed him on the cheek as he held me in for a long hug.

We cheered again with a Sour Apple, that one was a bit to sour for me.

I felt an arm go around my waist and felt Edwards kisses on my neck. I looked back to find him holding a shot glass followed by all the girls. Except Rose, who had a water bottle of course.

"And I suppose the last shot is mine." Everyone nodded as Edward spoke. He set it down and wrapped his arms around my waist while I placed my hands on his chest. He stared intensely into my eyes, and although they were glossed over, I could see the most sincere look. "This shot is to you, my Bella, my beautiful fiancé. A toast to you. Thank you for coming into my life and letting me love you. I can't wait to be your husband and raise a family with you." He stopped to wipe a tear from my eye. Everyone around us was quiet at the mention of a family, but we knew one way or another, we were going to make it happen. He kissed my cheek making me smile at his loving words. "I love you so fucking much that it almost hurts my heart. I will never love anyone else like I love you. In the words of Jerry McGuire, 'you complete me'. We are two broken halves that together make us whole. I can't wait to be your husband Angel. Thank you for coming back to me."

He kissed me again as I watched a tear fall from his eye. I knew exactly what he meant about me coming back to him. He thought he lost me after the accident, and it took me a long time to get my head in gear and work on our problems. He wiped more tears away from my cheeks as I kissed him with all the passion that I had.

I didn't care that our friends and family, and an entire bar full of people surrounded us. All I cared about was him in this moment. With all the alcohol that I had consumed through out the night, I should have been more than unable to concentrate on his words, but I was sober for those few minutes.

We continued kissing until Emmett cleared his throat, after yelling '_Show me the money_!' I looked up to find everyone staring at us although Alice, Rose, and Jane all had blood shot eyes signifying that they had all found Edward's words just as sweet as I had. I nuzzled my face into Edwards chest as he rubbed my back.

"Are we ready for that shot?" Emmett asked as he handed Edward and I glasses, trying to be the macho man and get us all out of the emotional daze Edward had put us in.

We looked down at the two glasses and I was confused. I hadn't taken anything like this before.

"What the fuck is this?" I smelled it as I spoke.

"It's called a blow job Bella. But I think Edward already had his." Rose smirked as everyone started snickering around us.

"And your point?" Edward said with slurred speech. The alcohol was really starting to catch up with him and he no longer sounded or looked sober like he had only moments ago.

"Her point is its time for another one Eddie!" Emmett did a little girlie scream at the end as Alice smacked him and rolled her eyes.

"To Edward and Bella." Alex said as he held up his glass. We all joined in and took the shot together and it actually was really good, a little hard to get my mouth around the glass, but I've had bigger things in my mouth thanks to Edward.

We danced to a few more songs before we made our way back to the limo. Although we were both piss as drunk, Edward was still able to lift me into the limo without dropping me _thank God_ and we made our way to the next stop.

When we got out, I stared up at the name and about pissed myself.

"Are you serious?" I yelled as Edward picked me up bridal style and kissed me as I tried to shield my almost naked ass.

"Totally. It was one of Edwards fantasies." Alex came up from behind me as Alice smacked my ass and I started to feel used. Just a little though.

Edward carried me in to _'Billy's'_ and set me down as we paid the bouncer and walked in, our hands intertwined together.

I was taken back slightly by all the topless women walking around and realized that we were in a gentleman's club. And not just any gentleman's club. _Billy's_ was known for the most exotic female dancers and they were also known for their back rooms and what was _allowed_ in the back room.

Edwards eyes popped at all the tits that were walking around. And of course we stood out with our dress and my tiara. He had girls walking past him, rubbing his arms left and right that made me jealous as all hell, but the firm grasp he held on me told me that I had nothing to worry about. They were just tits, and he was drunk, so I knew it wasn't like he was ogling them in front of me just because.

"Fuck." He whispered into my ear as he pulled me in front of him and humped my ass with his rock hard erection. "B. You ok with being here? I really didn't know what they had planned." He kissed the side of my neck and wrapped his hands around letting his hands tuck under my shirt and rub up my rib cage.

I leaned back in to his touch loving every thing he was doing. I don't know why, but I was so fucking turned and maybe it was because of all the flesh walking around, or maybe it was Edwards reaction, but I didn't give a flying fuck that we were in a strip club.

"No E. This is fine. Is it wrong that I am so fucking turned on right now?" I rubbed his thighs as he continued to massage up and down my stomach.

"Oh my God B. I couldn't be more fucking aroused than I am right now. Do you have the slightest knowledge of what you do to me?" He rubbed his erection against my ass again reminding me exactly what it was that I did to him.

Emmett grabbed my hand as he smacked Edwards back and yet again we were getting cock blocked by one of his family members.

"Come on Bella Barbie, we got something special planned for you two." Emmett led us back to a table near the front and we all grabbed a seat.

Edward pulled me on his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around my rib cage. He peppered kisses all along my neck while he whispered 'I love you' in my ear over and over.

We watched as 2 strippers took the stage and began dancing. Alice, Rosalie and Jane were up front waving around dollar bills and screaming the entire time. Edward asked me if I wanted to go too, but I didn't. All I wanted was him. I was more than content sitting on his lap watching.

We watched as the guys all got lap dances, except Edward. He said he didn't need one, that's what he had me for. Their ladies didn't seem to be bothered with the fact that their men were being dance on seeing that they were getting dances of their own.

Rose I had to say was the best, when the stripper was rubbing herself all over her huge belly. Emmett was hooting and hollering the entire time watching as his wife got fake boobs in her face.

"So what's your fantasy E? You got me here, now what are you gonna do with me?" I kissed him on the lips, sucking and nibbling on his bottom lip as we made out like two teenagers that were hormonally charged.

"I want you B. Only you. That's all I've ever wanted." He kissed me again as his hand dipped into my skirt and thong, and he tried to finger me there in front of everyone. "I know I may have stared at all the tits that've walked by, but it's you that I want and I need to see that look on your face. Give it to me, please." His hands kept trying to work me, but I held my legs together tighter trying to keep some of my dignity in play.

His words were slurring more and more as time went on and I could tell that he was going to be completely gone in a matter of minutes if he didn't stop drinking.

A beautiful tall red head leaned towards me and whispered in my ear, all the while her tits were resting on my arm. I heard Edward moan behind me, obviously seeing what was _on_ my arm.

She reached out and grabbed Edwards hand from out of my skirt, I was thankful that it was so dark in there so that she couldn't see the blush that was creeping up my cheeks from being caught like that.

"You guys are coming with me." I looked over at Edward who just shrugged his shoulders. I looked at Alex who had a shit-eating grin across his face. "Ready to live your fantasy Edward?"

I looked at Alex again, and he just nodded his head with a huge grin spread across his lips. We both stood and followed the red head to a private room. I started to get nervous thinking that Edwards fantasy was for the two of us to have sex with this stripper, and I was drunk as all hell, but I sure as hell was not interested in a threesome. Edward was mine and I wasn't willing nor interesting in sharing him.

Rose and Alice slapped my ass as we walked passed them, and Emmett yelled catcalls which really started to make me wonder what the hell was going on.

We got to a private room, where the velvet curtains opened, revealing a room, black walls, dim lights, a stripper pole and stage, one wall covered in all mirrors, and finally a huge cushiony chair.

"Sit." The red head grabbed Edwards hips and pushed him back in the chair. I stood next to him wondering what the fuck was happening. "Sweetie, you sit here." She lead me by the hand in front of Edward, pushed his legs open and had him slouch down in the chair and pushed me down by the hips into his lap.

"What the fuck E?" I whispered back in his ear. "I love you, but I am so not having a threesome if that's your fantasy."

Edward rubbed him hands on my side as I lay against his chest.

"That's not my fantasy B." He kissed my neck as he continued to move his hands down my sides and down my thighs. It may not have been his fantasy, but he didn't seem to mind the fact that we were in a room with a barely covered woman that looked like she was interested in taking things further.

"So I hear you two are getting married soon." I nodded as Trixie walked over and shut the curtain and turned on some music. "I also hear that Edward has a fantasy." He nodded and held me tighter. His bulging hard on was pressed against my back and as uncomfortable I was with the ideas that were floating in my mind, I was still really horny and wanted nothing more to finally take care of his problem once and for all. "And that fantasy is for me to dance on the two of you. Together. Is that correct Edward." Edward nodded his head and I felt relief spread through me. "You can do whatever you want in this room. I won't tell anyone. _Whatever_ you want." She eyed me before placing a kiss on my cheek.

"We're not into sharing if that's what you're talking about." Edward slurred as his hands rested on my thighs.

"Oh no baby. No sharing. But the two of you, feel free to take advantage of the privacy. I don't mind. I won't tell if you guys feel the need to do anything while watching me while I dance for you. It's kind of a turn on actually." Thank God that she wasn't trying to proposition us, and that Edward wasn't so drunk that he was willing to make me do something I really didn't want to do. But, knowing that she was going to dance for us, and the fact that I was on top of him and she wouldn't have access to him made me feel a lot better. Highly aroused, actually.

Edwards hand went up my thigh and under my skirt pushing it up my waist so that my red thong was completely exposed to Trixie who didn't even seem to mind. _I guess she wouldn't, seeing that she was in only a thong herself._

Trixie went next to the wall where there was a small stage and a pole and began grinding on it as we watched.

"Are you ok with this baby?" Edward leaned in kissing below my ear making me shiver in pleasure.

"If this is your fantasy, I am totally fine with it. Does this turn you on? Me in your lap like this watching her?" I ran my hands over his kneecaps as I spoke.

"Fuck yes. I don't want her. I only want you baby." Edward pointed to the mirrored wall in front of us, I looked up to see our reflection staring back at us. "I want to watch us in this chair while I finger you. I want you to watch her, because I know she's turning you on." He ran his fingers up and down my wet lips and I know that I should've cared about the modesty that I didn't have, but I didn't. All I cared about in that moment was that he didn't stop. " I fucking _know_ how much this is turning you on."

"Shit!" I moaned as he plunged two fingers in as we both watched as Trixie moved up and down the poll. "That feels so fucking good E. Don't stop." He continued pumping in and out of me while his hips thrusted into my back.

Trixie looked over at us and saw what we were doing and continued to grind into the poll. I know she said that she got turned on by watching people, and I believe that rang true when she started to grind on the pole harder, riding it like she would a cock.

Edwards fingers continued to thrust in and out of me while his other hand made its way under my tank top, bra and to my bare tit. He cupped it and twisted my nipple, making it harden under his touch.

Trixie moved in front of us and stood there in only a tiny g-string. She moved to the music swaying her body as she went. Edwards fingers picked up the pace until I was crying out from my second orgasm of the night. But he didn't stop. He kept his fingers there as Trixie came and sat on my lap straddling me and Edward at the same time.

She ground her body on top of mine and I was instantly turned on again. A small part of me was thankful that it was me she was grinding on and not Edward. I don't know if I could have handled watching that, but the fact that she was doing it to both of us at the same time was so hot an erotic.

Edwards hand had pushed up my shirt so my stomach and the top of my bra was completely exposed. Trixie continued grinding on top of me as Edwards fingers worked me finding the spot he knew would drive me over the edge.

Another orgasm more powerful than the last shot through me and I was glad that the chair was leather, as it would definitely need to be cleaned.

Trixie finished with her dance a few minutes later and left Edward and I alone saying we could take our time and no one would interrupt us. She almost seemed sad to be leaving us, but Edward made sure that she knew that we wanted to be alone.

Edward stood me up and placed me between his thighs wrapping his arms around my hips and kissing up my stomach.

"Was that to much B? It was so fucking hot to watch you get a dance like that." He continued kissing as he unzipped my skirt and pulled it down until it fell to the floor.

I weaved my hands through his hair and pulled on it bringing his eyes to meet my own.

"There are no words for how turned on I am at this moment E." I looked around at the mirrors and the stripper poll. "We got this room all to ourselves, what do you want to do E?"

He growled into my stomach as his teeth pulled down my thong exposing me to him.

"I want you on the stripper poll dancing for me. Would you do that B?" I nodded and kissed his swollen lips before making my way to the poll pulling my tank top off in the process so I was left with only my matching bra and thong and my fuck me boots on.

From the look in his eyes, the lap dance may have been the fantasy that he told the guys about, but me dancing like this for him was the real deal.

I grabbed the poll and spun around on it, grinding my body to it as I went. I didn't really know what the hell I was doing, but when I looked over at Edward, and the massive wood he was sporting, I figured I was doing something right.

I danced a little longer until he signaled me to come back over.

I stood in front of him again as he ravished my body. He pulled my thong down my legs kissing a path as he went then brought his lips back up to my heated core where he placed his hands on my ass bringing me closer to him as his tongue hit my clit, his piercing connecting with mine.

"Jesus Fuck! E!" He continued to massage circles around my clit, and then bit down on it allowing my next orgasm to shoot through me.

My bra soon fell to the floor, Edward's lips moved, covering ever inch of my bare flesh; pulling, teasing me like never before.

I reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head as he hungrily undid his pants.

We were standing their buck-naked when he sat back down in the chair and placed me on top of him facing the mirror. I watched as he pumped his cock then slid it into my pussy. His eyes were on mine in the mirror watching as my face twisted in pleasure.

"Watch us B. We'll never get another chance like this again. I want us both to watch while we make love and cum together. Do you want to do that Angel?" All I could do was nod, so over come with the feelings in my body as he grabbed ahold of my hips and began lifting me up and down on his cock. I watched as his wet cock moved in and out of me, moaning the entire time as it was all becoming too much.

Edward reached around and found my clit, watching himself as he massaged me with his finger as he continued to pump in and out of me.

In a matter of minutes, we were both screaming out one another's names as we came together. We sat there connected for several minutes catching our breath and staring at each other in the mirror.

As we sat there, I noticed that I had on only my boots, and Edward's boxers and pants were around his ankles as he hadn't bothered with pulling them completely off. I giggled at how rushed we both were, then turned my head to take Edward's mouth in my own.

"So was it everything you thought it would be?" I stood up and found my thong and skirt. Edward swiped my thong and shoved it in his pocket giving me an evil grin.

"No panties. You know the rule. And yes, it was more than I thought it could ever be." He stood and pulled his pants back up and found his shirt.

I put my skirt, bra and shirt back on and when we were ready, we made our way back out to find our friends waiting for us, shit grins on every one of their faces.

Alex was the first one I seen and I said a silent thank you to him, while all the guys clasped Edward on the back, and the girls were all giggles. With the dancer walking out a good 20 minutes before we did, I knew that they knew there was more that had gone on in there.

I looked over at Edward and noticed that he was even more covered in glitter and remembered again that the bag was still around my wrist. I bet his cock was even covered by glitter at this point.

We sat around with the rest of the group and took several more shots. By the time we left, neither Edward nor I could stand. Alex helped Edward to the limo and Emmett carried me. I had to remind him I wasn't wearing any panties so he had to be extra careful which just made him shake with laughter.

The next thing I remembered was being placed in my bed next to Edward. Fully clothed. We didn't even bother getting under the covers, then passed out.

I started saying something about my wand, but stopped mid sentence as I let sleep take me over.

XXXXXX

"Bell." I swear I heard Jaspers voice. But it was still dark and I was drunk. "Bell, you gotta wake up. Rose's water broke and we gotta go to the hospital."

Jasper was in our room. I opened my eyes to find him standing over me along with Alice. My ass was totally hanging out as my skirt had ridden up and I was lying on Edwards chest. I couldn't find it in me to care that they were both staring at my naked ass. My head hurt and I was really hung over.

"What time is it?" My slurred words came out.

"Its 6:30am. You've only been sleeping for about 4 hours. But we gotta go. You guys aren't going to want to miss this." Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me out of bed then pulled my skirt down once I was standing. I swayed from side to side, Alice came up next to me and put an arm around my waist holding me upright as Jasper worked on getting Edward to wake up.

Edward groaned as he took Jasper's hand and rolled out of bed, following Alice and I out of the room. We didn't bother changing as we were so fucking tired and I don't know about Edward, but I was two seconds away from vomiting, so moving around trying to put clothes on was not gonna happen. Alice was in a cute pair of pajamas and Jasper was still in his clothes from last night. Edward grabbed two sweatshirts before we left and we put them on as we waited downstairs for a taxi. There was no way we were driving like this.

We were now in the back seat of the taxi, Alice on Jaspers lap, as no one wanted to sit up front with the cabi. Edward looked like utter and total shit. Pretty much like I felt. Half his hair was flat to his head; the other half was sticking straight up. He had glitter all over his face and neck, and in his hair. His eyes were blood shot, and I only knew that as he kept them open long enough to get into the cab.

"Baby. You ok?" I whispered, knowing that it would hurt too much to talk out loud.

Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he placed my head on his chest. The whole time he never opened his eyes and only grunted as a reply.

We were lead into the hospital waiting room by Jasper and Alice, then plopped down together in a big chair.

Not sure if she wanted us to come back and see her or not, but neither of us were in any shape to do any form of walking or standing so we stayed in the chair and passed out. I was woken to Emmett shaking my arm.

"What time is it?" I asked, rubbing my eyes trying to get them to focus.

"Almost 9am. She's almost full dilated. It should be really soon." I opened my eyes to find Emmett standing in front of us wearing a pair of scrubs, the biggest grin playing across his lips.

I wasn't sure if he was smiling because of the way we looked or because in a matter of minutes he was going to be a papa, but it was annoying nevertheless.

"What the fuck is so funny Emm?" Edward barked from beside me. He sounded like shit if I was being honest.

"You two. Do you even know what you look like right now?" He continued to laugh, and then I heard others joining in and looked around to find Alice, Jasper and two nurses laughing hysterically.

There was a small mirror in the hallway, and I made my way over to see how bad the damage was. When I opened my eyes, I saw that my make up was still in tact, but my hair looked like a huge haystack on top of my head, but my crown was still neatly in place. I laughed to myself, proud that it was still on. My bag of fairy dust was still on my wrist, and I noticed, I left a trail of glitter behind me as I walked. I took it off and threw it in the garbage finally.

I probably granted thousands of wishes with out evening knowing it.

I walked back over to Edward and noticed that his hair was sticking up in every possible direction, and he had glitter from head to toe. His jeans had stains all over them, most likely from all the alcohol and probably from me too, but we'll let people think it was from the drinking, and he had the biggest bags under his eyes. We were still both wearing our shirts, and I heard the nurses laughing as they noticed what they said. Sometime in the past few hours, we must have taken the sweatshirts off to use as pillows. Smart idea seeing that we were dressed _very_ appropriately for the setting we were in.

"E? We are seriously a sight for soar eyes aren't we?" I said as I plopped down next to him again.

"Oh I guess that's one way of putting it." He kissed the top of my head as I heard him groan in pain. "My fucking head kills. What the fuck did you shit heads do to us last night?" He leaned back cupping his head in his hands. I rubbed his back trying to give him a little bit of comfort, but my head was hurting just as bad and I was desperate for something to take the ache away.

"God I _hope_ you remember what we did." I started thinking that he was so drunk last night that he didn't remember doing what we did in the back room.

"Don't worry B. I remember _that_." I blushed. He smiled. "I'm talking about all the fucking alcohol. Pills please fuckers?" Edward was just a wee bit crabby, but he had every right to be. If they were going to get him that drunk, then they were also going to take care of him too.

"Only since you said please." Alice threw him a bottle of pills and water. We both fought for them as I chugged the entire bottle of water, not realizing how parched I was.

Edward handed me my _Cullen_ sweatshirt as he put his on. I looked over at him, glittered up and all and giggled to myself. We really were too cute for words.

I kept my tiara on, because I was sure for shit to be a princess as long as possible.

We sat talking to Jasper and Alice about last night for the next few hours as we waited patiently for Rose to have the baby. Our hangovers started to dissipate slowly, but I would be lying if I felt anything close to good.

Carlisle and Esme showed up a little later and we filled them in on last night. _Well some of it at least._ And I found myself becoming _really_ subconscious with my short skirt, no panties and fuck me boots still on. Neither one said anything about our appearance. I found Esme giggling to herself a few times, and she was obviously amused, which was better than being upset or annoyed.

Around 11am Emmett came out, his eyes blood shot and the biggest grin on his face. We all stood waiting for the news that we knew was to come.

"Emma Rose is here. All 6 pounds 7 ounces of her." Edward jumped up quickly and gave him a hug as we all followed. "Rosie did phenomenal and is giving her first feeding a try."

Emmett was a proud papa, we couldn't have been happier for both him and Rose and couldn't wait to meet the little girl that we'd been anticipating for the past 9 months.

We all went back and met Emma Rose and passed her around. Birth is truly a miracle, I don't care who you are or what you believe in, and looking at Rose and Emmett as they held their new baby reminded me of that a little more. I rubbed my tattoo and looked over at Edward and seen him doing the same thing. We were thinking of our son who we knew was with us, welcoming his little cousin into this world.

We stayed for another hour or so, then were on our way back to the apartment as Rose needed to get some sleep and we didn't want to intrude on their time as a new family.

The cabbie had to wake us when we were back at the apartment, Edward chucked some money in the front seat and we made our way in.

Edward and I fell into blissful sleep, the tiara still firmly on my head.

**A/N: Whew! That was one long ass chapter! I was going to split it in two, but decided that it needed to all go into one so we can move forward yet again. Hoped you enjoyed, and that the lemons were sweet enough. Lots of fun to write. Bella is more back to herself which we all love, especially Edward.**

**Anyone ever been to a female strip club? I have. Just a few days after my husband and I got married, my two girlfriends decided that we needed to go as they felt I had to have a lap dance. I got like 10 that night and then we got a couples lap dance, which was… really nice surprisingly. Anyone have any good stories they want to share? I also learned that the strippers really like having females in there as they have someone to talk to. Heard a lot of interesting stories that night.**

**A few more chapters to go so stick with me.**

**I gave you LOTS of lemons this chapter, so do me a favor and push the review button. If you don't know by now, they are GREATLY appreciated. I do this for fun, but its nice to be appreciated too. **

**Reviews are like being in the back room, sitting on Edward's lap as his cock is pressed up against your back. Yup, that's some food for thought!**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: I am two reviews away from 1,000. I was going to wait until I reached 1,000 but figured this was close enough. And there are some smut whores out there that needed there fix. Don't worry, this chapter is sappy, but it's got a little something for everyone.**

**THANK YOU as always to all of you who reviewed. I REALLY appreciate each and everyone. **

**Now, on with the show. Many of you asked for more on one time between Jasper and Bella so here it is. **

**Oh, and you might want to get a Kleenex or two handy, just in case.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. My husband went with me to see New Moon for the THIRD time, so I no longer own the rights of getting him to go. Bummer for me.**

Chapter 31: Tying Up Loose Ends.

BPOV

Emma Rose was born two weeks ago to the proudest parents I had ever seen. She was the sweetest child, and seeing her only brought happy thoughts to mind.

I found myself rubbing my wrist over Anthony's name when I felt lonely for him, but never once did I have a pity party for myself because Emma was here and he wasn't.

Our time will come. Now more than ever I was most certain of that.

Rose was turning out to be a great mom. She had so much patience for that little girl. She was caring and loving and out right adorable to watch with her.

And Emmett...what can I say about Emmett? He was a daddy that any little girl would be lucky to have. He did every thing for her. Even change the smelliest diapers.

I'd never seen one child go through so many outfit changes in one day, but then again with a mom as a super model, I could understand. One minute she was in a sleeper, then a pink dress, and I'd blink and she was in some sparkly get up. I swear between Rose, Alice and myself, we had taken a thousand pictures of her already.

The day that Emma was born was a long one for Edward and I. We were so trashed from the night before, I felt guilty as all hell that we weren't there for the happy couple more. But then again, there wasn't much that we could have done anyways. They needed their time to be alone, just their own little family.

And we needed to sleep. For a long time.

We ended up re-cooping for the next couple of days. My poor husband to be was so ill. I scolded every one of the guys for how much they made him drink, but went back and hugged and kissed them each for the most kick ass night of our lives.

Jasper and I decided to go visit Mama and Charlie's graves before the wedding and have some one on one time before I was officially _Mrs. Cullen_, which was only a few short days away.

7 to be exact.

Alice had wanted me to stay and work on wedding details, but I wanted nothing to do with the wedding details. I may have been the one getting married, but this was her show, her day to put all of her creativeness on display.

Since we started going to counseling, I had been feeling pretty good about life and where ours was headed, and didn't want any wedding bullshit to interfere with my new Zen for life. So, I gave Esme and Alice free reign on the wedding, well almost free reign. I had to veto Alice's idea for having swans in the pond near the ceremony sight. I think she was trying to make a joke by saying she was inviting some of my _family_. I didn't think it was all that funny.

Ok, so maybe it was, but no. The swans were off limits.

Jasper and I were on a plane to Texas as I speak. He was sleeping in his huge first class seat that Edward insisted on buying for us. He said that he wanted me pampered, knowing that going home, or what _was_ home would be a little overwhelming.

Oddly enough, Edward seemed to be ok with the fact that he wasn't coming out with Jasper and I. I think he knew that my brother and I needed a little bonding time just the two of us.

It probably also didn't hurt that he would be meeting us out there tomorrow. Yeah, I wasn't doing this alone. I wouldn't ever do anything major without him again. I knew how much I needed him when I would be going into a difficult situation and wouldn't even try to hide it, knowing that I would just be taking a step back for both of us.

Visiting Mama and Charlie's graves weren't the only things we would be doing while we were in Texas. Edward and I decided to get a headstone made for our Anthony Edward to be placed beside my fathers. We had nothing to put in the ground, but knew that this would be a physical reminder of his presence in our lives. And this way he would be close to family. The Cullen's didn't have a family plot anywhere, so it was an easy decision for us to make.

Jasper and I would check into our hotel tonight and just hang out, the two of us, and Edward would be here tomorrow around noon. I had only been away from him for a few hours, but my heart was already hurting. I never knew I could need one person so much, but I did, and I wasn't ashamed to admit it.

"How are ya doin' Bell?" Jasper asked. I hadn't even realized that he'd woken. I shut my laptop as I had found a little interest in writing and put it in my bag.

His hand rested over mine and I gave him a smile.

"I'm good. I think this was a great idea for just the two of us to go out together alone for the first night." I said as I squeezed his hand. "I really wanted some time with my brother before I'm a married woman and all."

"Me too Bell. Me too." He said as he gave me a smile in return. There was a shine to his eyes, and if I wasn't mistaken he had a tear in there that he was trying hard for me not to see.

"Are you crying Jazz?" I asked with tear filled eyes. I didn't often see Jazz cry so when it did happen, it obviously made me cry as well.

He shook his head no, but I knew him better than he thought. "No, just thinking. You're getting married Bell, in 7 days." In some sense, I was his little girl that he would be giving away in a matter of days. Luckily for us, this man happened to be his friend, and our friendship and family would only grow.

"And so are you Jazzy. In less than four months. I think we got old." Jasper and I laughed together realizing how much or lives had changed in such a short amount of time. Was it just a year ago that we moved to the city, excited for a new chapter in our lives to begin?

"We did, didn't we?' Jasper asked as we tangled our hands together and sat in a peaceful silence for the remainder of the flight.

After we checked into the hotel, we went down stairs to the restaurant and the southern delicacies that you definitely couldn't get in the city. Sure, there were imitations out there, but nothing compared to cooks who learned their recipes from their mama's and they learned them from theirs.

"You know what we should do tonight?" I asked Jasper, as we were finishing up with supper.

"What's that Bell?" Jasper replied, thanking the waiter and signing the receipt.

I was excited, we were home, well the home we once knew, and this was probably the last time we would be here for quite some time, so I figured we should have some fun.

Unfortunately, we didn't have a rental car like last time, but luckily, most things were within walking distance that it didn't even matter.

"Lets go see the house first, then I'll tell ya." With that, we were on our way to the old white Victorian that sat on the corner of Glande and Frost.

Standing in front of it, seeing a newly acquired tire swing hanging from our tree was a bit hard to take in, but it was a good reminder that it wasn't _our_ house anymore. And even though the new owners had given her a fresh coat of paint and cut down Mama's shrubs, it still felt comfortable to be standing _here_.

I was brought back to when I was a kid. Jasper and I playing in the front yard, chasing me with his little cut out card board sword while I wore my princess dress and Mama sat on the porch laughing and shaking her head at the two of us. Charlie was usually standing beside her up on the porch and the more I thought about it, I knew there had been something going on between the two of them. I don't know how I didn't see it earlier, but I guess being a kid, not having interest in anything but my toys does that to ya.

I kissed the palm of my hand and brought it to the trunk of the old oak tree that still sat in the front yard and nodded my head in respect to our child hood home. I heard Jasper sniffle from beside me and felt bad for thinking of myself when he was clearly thinking of Mama.

I grabbed Jasper's hand and brought it to my lips, placing a soft kiss there, then wrapped my arms around his waist and let him know that I was here for him. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me for several minutes before we decided to leave. As we walked away, and the tears started to dry up, I felt it was time to start my real plan of action for the night. There would be plenty of tears shed tomorrow, tonight was supposed to be fun.

"There's one quick stop we need to make." I said as I gave Jasper a quick smile before taking his hand and leading him down Main Street.

**

"Bell, as much fun as this is, I think it's illegal!" Jasper whispered to me as I handed him my bottle of Boones and slipped through the hole that was in the fence. I remembered it being bigger, but maybe that was because I was a lot smaller than I was now.

"Oh come on, live a little Jazzy!" I said as I snaked my way through, only snagging my shirt a little as I fell on my ass on the other side, safely making my sneaky way in.

Jasper rolled his eyes and followed behind me, but had a little harder time getting through the same spot.

I think the whole in the fence shrunk.

That was the only reasonable excuse I could think of.

"We're too old for this shit, and I don't think Edward's gonna be too happy when he has to bail your ass out of jail tomorrow morning!" _Pussy_.

Jasper had gotten old. The old Jazz wouldn't have questioned me at all about something like this. Breaking and entering were things he laughed at.

Jasper and I had gotten ourselves a few bottles of Boones Farm, and were now currently sneaking onto the property of 'Pleasantview High' the school we graduated from 8 years ago. Realizing that it was only 8 years ago, didn't feel like that long of a time had passed, but looking up at the old building verified what I felt, it was another lifetime ago.

He was right, we _were_ too old for this shit, and I silently prayed that we didn't get arrested. I didn't think my doe eyes would get me out of as much as they used too. But, seeing a hot and bothered Edward could change my mind on not wanting to live dangerous. The thought of him yelling at me, _shirtless of course_, for breaking into my childhood school was making me wet in all the right places.

_Mind out of the gutter, Swan! _Great, now I was talking to myself too.

Not waiting for my partner in crime, I made my way across the front lawn and up to the side doors. As teenagers, the custodian always left the side door unlocked for some reason. Whatever his motivation, I didn't care. It gave Jasper and I the opportunity to sneak in on more than one occasion.

I pulled on the door handle and snickered to myself when it opened with ease.

"Some things never change, I see." Jasper pulled the door shut behind me, looking around like he thought someone was watching.

Walking down the familiar halls was eerie, but comforting too. This was such a diferent time for us and it really was something else to be here, a week before my wedding, with my lifetime best friend reminiscing our youth.

Jasper gave me a wink, took my free hand and led me towards the science wing. We stood in front of room 203, Mr. Banners Biology room. Of course we both knew that Mr. Banner no longer taught as he had retired a few years back, but to us it was still his room.

I tugged on the handle, and the door opened. I looked over at Jasper who nodded at me to go first, so I did.

The black tables were lined with chairs on top of them. With the lights still off, I went to the farthest table in the back of the room, left corner. It was _our_ table.

Jasper set down his bottle of Boones and pulled down two stools and we each sat down. I took a swig and then laid my head in my hands on top of the table.

"There were some good memories in this room, huh Jazzy?" I asked as I leaned my head to the side and looked out the window at the track that was behind the school.

"Very. Like kicking you to stay awake every other day or writing _'I will not fall asleep in class'_ 500 times in detention. I don't know how good _those_ memories were, but I did have a good time toilet papering his house, the first time, _and_ the second." _Yes, those were good times, weren't they?_

"They were good for me. I was safe here. I didn't have to worry about James ever finding me when I was here, with you, surrounded by hundreds of people." I wiped a tear away from my eye, and Jasper wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me to him. I leaned my head on his chest as he grabbed his bottle and took another swig, not saying anything, just letting me reflect on that time in my life. Although my bottle was almost empty, I took another swig, letting my buzz set in.

"They were good times then. And just think, that's all behind you now, the soon to be _Mrs. Cullen_. Only happy thoughts now, darlin'. That's all you're allowed to think of tonight, ok?" I looked up to see Jasper's eyes shining in the bit of light that was coming through the window. It seemed like the sappier I got, the more he did, and this wasn't like him. Not one bit. I didn't know if I liked it or not.

We sat there for about an hour reminiscing about all the shit we pulled and then put the stools back on top of the table and made our way out to the '_Senior Hallway'_. I looked around and found my old locker, popping the combination that hadn't been changed. Of course, it had been painted over, but I remembered all the names I had written in there at one time or another. Leonardo's was the most prominent of course, but I had my other favorites as well that made an appearance from time to time.

Jasper and I went back and forth retelling story after story of our time together in this Podunk town, eventually making our way down to the track and field area behind the school. We lay on the tar laughing and crying over the stupid shit we pulled and how dumb we had been.

The alcohol started to kick in as the night went on, and Jasper dared me to run across the field naked. He wanted me to streak!

"Why, Mr. Whitlock, I'm going to be a married woman in just a few short days, and you want me to _streak_?" The bottle of boos was now dry and I was bumming for another drink.

Jasper nodded his head up and down, big smile on his face. "I know you Bell, you won't actually do it."

_I wouldn't? Didn't he know me?_

I kicked off my sandals as Jasper's eyebrow raised. Next I started to unzip my pants. His eyes got bigger and bigger as the zipper went down. Knowing that I wanted to play with him a little, I started running down the field where he couldn't see me in the dark, and pulled off my shirt, followed by my bra, pants and panties. I ran across the entire field in nothing, naked as the day I was born as I heard Jasper clapping from the sideline.

And then the sprinklers went on.

I screamed like a fucking girl. It might have been a hot Texas night, but the water was freaking cold!

I heard Jasper rolling in laughter from across the field as I gathered my clothes, putting on the soaked items one by one, struggling to get my wet jeans up.

"Shut it!" I yelled at Jasper as I walked past him buttoning my jeans. He was still laughing just as hard, still dry and not knowing how cold the water actually was.

So I pushed him in the chest from where he stood; he landed right on top of one of the spickets, soaking him on contact.

"What the fuck Bell?" He stood quickly then tried to run out of the aim of the spray, but I tackled him from behind and pushed him to the ground again. "That's fucking cold!" He screamed and if I thought I sounded like a girl before, he really did, which only made me laugh harder as I made fun of him about not yet hitting puberty.

We lay on the wet grass on our backs looking at one another as the water continued to rain over us.

"I love you Jazzy. No matter if we're both married off, we'll always be family. Our own little family, with a _hint_ of Cullen." Our hands clasped together between us as we lay there.

"I love you too, Bell. You've always been my little sister, you know that. Maybe if things had been different, and Charlie hadn't…you know, maybe him and Mama would have made it official."

"They really were a couple, huh? How did I not know about this?"

"You were an energetic child, Bell. You could never keep your mind on one thing for more than two minutes at a time. You didn't pay attention to the fact that you came over for dinner almost every night, or that Charlie would hold Mama's hand under the table, and wrap his arm around her while you and I were playing in the front lawn, you were more interested in the fact that we got to play together all the time. And with your mom not being around, I didn't know how you would take things, so I kept it a secret. Mama always told me it was our secret and they would tell you when you were ready." Jasper stopped to catch a tear that had fallen down my cheek. "I guess it just wasn't in the cards for them, ya know? You and Charlie were _always_ our family though."

"Mama was always _my_ Mama. Renee may have given birth to me, but Mama raised me to be who I am today. I know her and Charlie are up there looking down at their two kids who are currently laying on a wet field getting all sappy and shit." We both laughed again as Jasper stood and held out his hand for me.

"_You_ were getting sappy, I was just trying to comfort you like the good big brother that I am." Jasper tried to plead his case, but I seen the tear run down his cheek earlier. I didn't wipe it away not wanting him to feel immasculine or something obscure.

"Whatever." I pushed him in the shoulder as we went to go pick up our bottles and throw them in the nearby trash. There was a bin for recycling and we made sure to put them in there. We may have been drinking on school property, but at least we cleaned up after ourselves _and_ recycled.

Mother nature would love us right now.

Eventually we made our way back to the hotel, and after a quick good night, went to our separate rooms. I insisted on us staying together, but Edward got me my own room seeing that he would be here tomorrow night and probably wanted to have some sexy time or something.

What I didn't expect when I opened the door was to find a trail of Rose pedals. I followed them leading to the bed, smiling at the fact that I was not alone.

"Hello?" I called out. No one answered.

I continued to walk forward and seen that the balcony door was opened and poked my head out to see Edward leaning against the railing in a pair of light wash jeans that hung dangerously low on his hips. His chest was exposed for me, and I desperately wanted to trail my tongue from his peck to his navel.

"Hi." I said as I took his hand that he held out for me. "Wh-what are you doing here? I thought your flight got in early afternoon tomorrow?" I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face if I wanted to. Edward kissed my hand before wrapping me in a tight hug.

"I can leave if you want me too." I started to tell him no, but a finger on my lips stopped me. "That's what I thought. I wanted to surprise you. Actually I had this planned all along. I missed you." He took the finger that had been on my lips and put it under my chin, lifting it, then placed a soft kiss on my lips. "You're wet." _Mind in the gutter completely, Swan!_

I stifled back a giggle as I pulled my drowned cat hair out of my face and behind my ears.

"Yeah. Long story. Well basically Boones Farm and streaking and sprinklers."

"Streaking? Without me?" His crooked smile mesmerized me, and I had to remember that he was talking so that he didn't think I had spaced out or something.

"Yeah, but you didn't miss much. The water was cold." Edward looked down at my erect nipples that were basically trying to cut themselves out of my shirt.

"I can see that. I still don't get the heat though. Even if the water was cold, you'd think you would've warmed up. I'm on fire and could go for a little cold water of my own." He wrapped his arms around my waist as I placed my hands flat on his chest.

"I think that can be arranged, but how about a _hot_ shower, and then we cool down with ice cubes?" I asked, winking my eye before running back into the room and to the bathroom.

Edward wasn't far behind, never wanting to miss an opportunity to see me naked. You'd think he saw it once, he saw everything, but he couldn't get enough, and in all honesty, neither could I.

I stripped quickly, throwing my clothes in a pile in the corner of the massive bathroom and stepped into the warm water. The curtain opened a few seconds later, and my tattooed God stepped in, fully erect and waiting for me.

"Fuck the shower." I moaned as I fell to my knees in front of my man. Without notice, I took him in my mouth, sucking greedily on him like it was my last meal. "You taste amazing, baby." I was able to squeak out around his cock, which was not an easy feat.

Edward's hand was in my hair holding me to him as his other balanced him on the wall. He pulled me back, and I looked up at him confused.

"I need to fuck you, or I'm gonna cum in your mouth.' Ungh! The dirty talk. Gotta _love_ the dirty talk.

So I bent over a little and stuck my ass out as he wrapped his arms around my waist and thrust into my already wet core.

"Oh God." I moaned as he pulled out of me, then slammed in hard, pushing me against the cold wall.

"Hold on baby, I don't want you to fall." He said as he grabbed my hips steadying him self as he continued on. "I missed you, B." I felt his hot wet kisses on my shoulder as his thrusts got harder and deeper each time.

"I missed you too, E." With my hands on the wall, I leaned my head back on Edward's chest with my eyes closed taking in the entire experience. Each time with Edward only seemed to be better than the last. I yearned to be close to him, feel every inch of his body cover my own. He amazed me by how good he could make me feel.

I felt one of his hands leave my hip and moved to my swollen clit that was aching for attention. His thrusts slowed down as he began rubbing circles around my bundle of nerves, and minutes later I was shaking in ecstasy, followed shortly by Edward.

"Is that what you had in mind?" I turned around to see a cocky Edward staring back at me as he grabbed the body wash, minus the loofa or wash cloth and began soaping up my chest, paying special attention to my nipples. His hands went down my sternum, across my stomach, then rested on my hips.

"Yes, and so much more." I moaned, looking down at his hands as they made their descend to my sensitive center that yearned for his touch again.

"I think I need to pay special attention to this." He said as he cupped my slick pussy with his soapy hand, rubbing up and down, playing with me. "What? Doesn't it need to be cleaned?" The cocky smile was still in place. He knew _exactly_ what he was doing to me.

"Lets just finish up in here so we can get to the ice cubes." His eyes grew big as his hands moved down my legs, soaping me up from head to toe.

The shower only lasted a few minutes more, then he put on a pair of jeans, minus the boxers and left to get ice cubes from the vending machine as I finished up in the bathroom.

When Edward came back to the room, I was laying in the middle of the bed in a silk night gown I had originally packed for tomorrow night, but figured we could put it to good use right now. His hair was sticking up in the sexiest way possible, the jeans looking like they were trying to slide themselves off.

I knelt on the side of the bed and pointed with my finger for him to stand in front of me, which he did instantly.

"As much as I love these on you, they need to come off." I popped the button and slowly slid the zipper down, remembering that he'd gone commando and I didn't want to ruin this night before it started. Once his jeans were in a pool around his ankles, I pulled him to me wanting to make out like teenagers, but he had other thoughts.

Edward stopped my hands, and brought them to his chest as he rubbed his own up and down my silk clad sides and chest.

"Mmm…B, as much as I _love_ what you're wearing, it has to go. I can't fully enjoy it right now, thinking of all the things I want to do to you." He moaned, as my nightgown came over my head and was thrown to the floor.

He gently pushed me backwards until my back hit the bed and he hovered over me while taking my lips prisoner with his own. They tasted amazing as usual and I was so glad he was here, not wanting to sleep alone.

Edward and I hadn't been apart for a night since the attack and part of me knew it was too soon for him to even try the idea and that was why he was here. I had no problem with this arrangement and was thrilled that he was with me at this exact moment.

"You want to play with ice?" Edward asked in his silky seductive voice.

I nodded my head in agreement as I ran my hands through his wet hair, whimpering as his weight left my body to retrieve what he wanted.

He came back only a minute later with a cup full of the object of our playtime and internally I was grinning from ear to ear, knowing what he was going to do to me with them.

Edward picked up one cube and brought it to my lips, running it along the bottom one and then the top, moving it down my neck and across each one of my nipples, causing them to harden instantly. He circled around them both before letting the melting ice settle in my navel.

"That's really cold, baby." I shivered, wanting it removed, wanting it to stay, the shiver felt so divine.

"I know. Keep it there for only a minute longer." So that's what I did. He knelt before me, watching as it melted into the dip in my skin, before leaning over me and lapping up the water with his tongue, sinking into my navel making me squirm at his touch.

"Oh God that feels good." I moaned as he picked up another ice cube and continued his trail down my body. Fire and ice really were the best combination. Once it hit my kitty I about jumped off the bed, it felt amazing.

"You like that?" I nodded my head in agreement as he slowly inserted the ice cube in my heated center, holding it there as I writhed below him. We had played with ice cubes before, I knew how this felt, but somehow it was better than I remembered. I could feel it melting in me, the chill from the cold making my entire body shiver in the best possible way.

The ice cube was removed and I watched as he slid it in his mouth, sucking on it, then leaned down and dropped it in my own. It was so hot, erotic watching him like this. He completely owned my body, and knew exactly what to do to make it react like it was.

We had known from experience that ice cubes on the peen or balls didn't feel the same for him, so it wasn't even attempted and before I knew what was happening, his cock was fully inside me, moving in and out, faster, harder, pushing me to my brink.

I felt it as Edward spilled inside of me, collapsing on me trying to catch his breath. Two rounds in less than an hour must have wore him out, and I felt bad for maybe a minute before I thought about the fact that we had sex _twice_ in the last hour and smiled at how tired I'd made him.

After he pulled out, he laid flat on his back and I cuddled onto his chest. Edward ran his hand through my hair as I drew patterns over his inked chest.

"That was a good distraction, by the way." I murmured as I continued with my exploration of the plains of his chiseled abs.

"Distraction?" He was playing dumb, but I wasn't fooled.

I looked up at him giving him my not so angry face. "Yeah, like I didn't know that you were trying to distract me just now."

Edward leaned forward and kissed my forehead as I settle back in.

"You're right. I know how hard it is for you to be back here, and with tomorrow, I just figured that a distraction was in order. Did it work?"

"Of course it did. I'm kinda spent though." I nestled into his chest and shut my eyes as he reached for the light and soon it was dark.

"Sleep my love. We got a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

**

The Texas sun was hot. I put on a jean skirt and a pink halter-top that showed off my art. Edward was dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a _City Limits_ t-shirt that I had designed for him. We met up with Jasper for a late breakfast, then started the walk to the cemetery which was only about a mile away.

A small head stone had been delivered and was in place and I was excited to see it, a physical reminder of our little man. I was also nervous and emotional, knowing that it was a representation for our son. But he deserved this. He deserved to be with his family, well the only family we could have him with right now.

"You ready for this, baby?" Edward asked as he squeezed the hand that was in his own.

I looked up at him and nodded, knowing that any words that came out of my mouth wouldn't sound like more than just a squeak.

Jasper had gone ahead of us to speak with Mama alone. I gave him his space knowing that even months later, he was still aching for her. His tall frame stood over her marble headstone, hands in the pockets of his jean shorts, a line of sweat on his back from the warm sun. I stood back and let him have his moment until he held out his hand for me to join him. Edward and I moved forward until I was side by side with my brother, holding his hand as Edward stood behind me, arms around my stomach.

"Bell here is getting married in one week, Mama. You'd be so proud of her. And Edward, well he's gonna be my brother, legally, in just a few months. We're probably not gonna be around for a while, so I wanted to say good bye for now. I love you Mama. Take care of Charlie and little Anthony up there. Feed them your fried chicken and biscuits, and make a cardboard sword for Anthony to use. This time you can be the princess, and Charlie can be the dragon Anthony needs to slay." I squeezed Jasper's hand; tears running freely down my cheeks at his thoughts.

I gave him a few moments before finding my words.

"Hi Mama. Your Jasper here is getting married in just a few months. You'd be so proud of the man that he's become too. He's gonna make a great husband and father, Alice is one lucky woman. I'm so glad you got to meet her, and Edward before you died. And Edward, well he's handsome as ever." I felt Edward giggle from behind me, stopping me from my train of thought. "I got my special little man over here that's gonna need some guidance." I turned a little and looked at the headstone for my father. "Daddy, you're gonna need to watch over him too, make sure he stays in line and out of trouble with the Angels in heaven. Take it easy on him while he's trying to fight the dragon, and let him turn the sirens on in your cruiser just once, it will make his day. I promise. He's a lucky little boy to be watched over by you and Mama, I know he's in the best hands he could possibly be in since Edward and I aren't able to be with him just yet. I love you daddy." I knelt down and placed my hand on his headstone as Jasper and Edward both put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry I don't come and see you more often, but your future son in law keeps me pretty busy in the city. Just know that I'm being taken care of, and for once in my life, I feel complete and happy. _Edward_ does that to me. You would have loved him. After you tried to scare him off with your gun, that is. Treat my little boy good up there, make him smile and make sure he knows how much Edward and I love him."

I stayed kneeling there for several minutes as Edward backed off and went to stand in front of the place we had come here to see. The head stone had his name, _Anthony Edward Cullen_ and a picture engraved of an angel holding a baby on it. Engraved on the bottom, was a line from my favorite book.

_I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be._

Edward was standing over the piece of marble, one hand in his pocket, the other over the angel. I went to stand next to him, letting him have a moment of his own.

"Hey little man. You're mama and I thought this would be the perfect place for you to play. Be good to your grandma and grandpa. Make sure you save a place up there for us so that one day we can be reunited. We love you so much Anthony, more than you'll ever know." He paused, wiping tears from his eyes as I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head into his back. I didn't need to say anything, Edward said it all. "Get in good with the big guy upstairs and ask him for a little sister or brother, it would make your papa happy and your mama smile. We miss you, but know that you are safe in the best hands there could be. Although we'll be far away, you'll always be in our hearts, in our minds every second of every day. I'm gonna marry your mama here really soon, and I hope that you can watch over us on that day and make it a special for her. We gotta go now buddy, but know that we are always with you."

We stood there for several minutes, tears falling from us both. I seen Edward rubbing over his tattoo at the same time I was and knew that it was soon becoming a tradition for when we were thinking of our little boy.

The day turned into night and we were anxious to get home. We had a flight scheduled for tomorrow morning, but after an hour on the phone with the airport, Jasper was able to get us a flight out by 10pm. We did what we came to do, and now it was time to go _home_.

We had a wedding to finish planning.

**A/N: I don't know if any of you have read the book, 'I'll Love You Forever', by Robert Munsch. If you haven't, you need to go get yourself a copy. My mom read it to me as a child and it was the one thing that sticks out in my mind from my childhood 25 years later. I can't wait to read it to my own children one day. So, if you haven't figured it out, it's a great book.**

**Ok, sorry about the sappy stuff, just figured if we are tying up loose ends, this needed to happen. A lot of you wanted to see more Jasper and Bella time, so I hope this eased your craving. And, I know that there are many couples that experience miscarriages and don't take things to this extreme with getting a headstone for their unborn child, but remember that this is fiction, they have lots of money, and their miscarriage didn't occur like most.**

**Up next is the wedding and then only the Epi is left. Tears, I know, but it's time kiddos. I hope you can stick it out for two more updates. I think I will make you all happy. Hopefully.**

**You know how much I appreciate reviews, so all I am gonna say this time is push the button and give me some love. It'd make my day.**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: So…here it is. The moment we have all been waiting for.**

**  
The Wedding.**

**Hope you enjoy, more notes on the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the ideas in this story. They're mine! And so is the tattooed Edward, Emmett and Jasper! Just kidding, I wished that Edward, Jasper and Emmett were mine, but they're not, so I have to live with that fact. But this is my idea and I ask that no one steals it. I went the whole story without saying that. Yay for me!**

Chapter 32: Forever and Always

BPOV

Our wedding was in 3 days.

To say that I was blissed out beyond words was an understatement.

In 3 days I will be _Mrs. Edward Cullen_. It has the nicest ring to it if I do say so myself.

Our day was fastly approaching and I found that a permanent smile lay across my face with thoughts of finally getting our happy ever after.

Alice had gone ape shit with the preparations saying she wanted to take care of _everything_ so that I didn't have to worry or stress myself out. Esme was also on board and the two of them went a little crazy. Me, well I didn't care one way or another what happened, as long as I had my dress and my Edward at the end of the night.

I had been thinking about Mama and Charlie a lot lately, and I was having a hard time knowing that neither of them would be there at the wedding to support me in the biggest day of my life. Of course I had Jasper who was doing me the honor of walking me down the isle, but he wasn't _Charlie_. I tried to be strong but let myself cry here and there, trying not to let my weakness show. It was hard knowing that Charlie never got the chance to meet Edward, the one man that meant more than life itself to me, or Rose and Emmett, Carlisle and Esme, and Alice. These were the people that in the last 12 months had become my life, my world. And I would forever be changed by just their mere presence in my existence.

But Charlie was with me. I had a pair of his cufflinks that I took to the jeweler and had made into hairpins, which I was going to wear proudly between my curls.

As I lay here in bed with Edward, I think back on the last year of our life, and everything that we've gone through, how much things have changed.

Although it was the toughest year of my life, it was also the best.

Everything that happened led me to who I am today. Who I am with Edward and who I _want_ to be.

I couldn't be happier knowing that in just a few short days Edward was going to be mine for all eternity, and I wouldn't ever have to worry about not waking up beside him again.

I've been awake for almost an hour now just watching him sleep. Running my fingers over his eyes, eyebrows, cheeks and lips, just watching the content smile on his face while he dreams.

Everything I could ever want is in that man. Everything I _need_.

I find myself running my hand down his chiseled chest, rubbing patterns over his tattoos and down his stomach. Within a few minutes, he starts to stir and as I make my way further, I find the reason for the smile on his face.

My man would never be one to need Viagra, that's for sure. He had a hard on almost every morning and night, and the nympho in me was quite pleased with what I was marrying and would have for the rest of my life.

I slid my hand into his boxers and wrapped my hand around his hardened cock; no movements were made on my part, as I just wanted to _feel_ him. A hand is wrapped over the top of mine and I look up to see his beautiful green eye staring back at me.

"This is my kind of a wake up call." Edward kissed my head before cupping my cheek with his hand; bring my head in alignment with his own to place a soft kiss on my lips.

"Mmm... this" I grabbed his erection firmly in my hand as he moaned in pleasure. "is _my_ kind of wake up call."

Edward rolled over on his side facing me taking my lips again, kissing them passionately as I let out moans and whimpers showing him how much I craved his touch, his lips, his love.

"I love you so much B. I can't wait for Friday. Then we we'll be permanently linked forever and ever." His lips were on mine again, kissing deeper and deeper making my stomach flutter in anticipation of what I knew was to come.

"We already are baby. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. I'm yours, and you are _mine_." His eyes were dark with lust as his hands went to the waist ban of my panties and started to tug them down as he stared at my naked sex hungrily as it came into view.

I lifted my ass off the bed to help him as he threw the offensive garment on the floor and brought his hand back up my legs, letting them linger on my inner thighs, staring into my eyes with all the want and need that I myself felt. He moved to peel off the shirt of his that I was wearing, then his boxers and placed himself at my entrance, bent down to kiss my clit once before pushing himself forward and entering me in one stride.

The feeling of Edward filling me so full was one I would never tire of. It was pure unadulterated pleasure that washed over me when he was completely inside me, taking me as his own, joining us as one.

His thrusts were gentle and slow, taking his time to show how much he loved me, craved me, and cherished my body. This had become our morning routine lately. There was no urgency behind it, just pure devotion to one another, wanting each other to feel everything we had for one another.

Edward picked up the pace with each thrust as he peppered my neck and chest with kisses making my body become a live wire, heat spreading across my stomach, muscles tightening in response to his touch.

"B? I want to do something for you today." He kissed the side of my neck as he continued his thrusts, never losing his rhythm or pattern. I had a hard time forming a coherent thought when we were like this and was surprised he was able to.

"What's that baby? You know I'm up for anything." I lifted my hips to meet his as he brought me closer and closer to orgasm. I closed my eyes, moaning his name over and over, pleasure taking over my entire body as I waited for him to continue on with his thought.

"I want to do your tattoo today. I want it on you before the wedding, and this will give it a few days to heal so you can have it on proud display." My eyes met his, staring back at me, green and intense, mouth slightly open as his tongue ring clinked against his teeth watching me as I writhed below him.

My orgasm shot through me before I could form a reply followed by Edward's warmth filling me entirely. It took several moments for me to calm my breathing enough to talk, but slowly I found my voice, and was able to answer him with a smile spread across my face, excited that he was going to tattoo me again, especially this time.

"I think that's a great idea. I'm all for it." I started laughing to myself at what I looked like now compared to a year ago. I had been a clean slate before I met my ever-loving fiancé who was still lying on top of me, connecting us together in the best possible way. "E? Do you realize that since I met you, I have accrued a bit of color?"

He rubbed his hand over my swan tattoo and I felt his body shake with laughter. Next his hand went to trace the 'E' under my ear, the symbols on my neck and finally the wings on my shoulder blades.

"Yeah, 4 tattoos is a lot in one year, but I'm about to add another today so apparently it wasn't _enough_. What would Mama have thought about _that_?" He kissed my cheek as he pulled out of me and stood up holding out his hand for me, which I gladly took.

"She would probably be ogling you right now like she did when we were there before Thanksgiving." The thought of Mama made me smile. She loved Edward and I knew I had her blessing in the short amount of time that she got to know him.

Edward and I took a quick shower together trying to conserve water and all, well, _quick_ after another round, got dressed and made our way into the shop.

Jasper was already there prepping for his next appointment, and Emmett came in a few minutes after us looking like hell.

"Em? Did Emma keep you up all night?" I ran my fingers through his hair, and kid you not he was purring like a cat as his eyes rolled back at the sensation.

"All fucking night. She's colicky I guess. But it's ok. I don't mind." He yawned loudly as he took a drink from his large black coffee. It smelled _strong_. Although he was tired, he was happy. I always knew that Emmett would make a great daddy, but I think he was exceeding all of our expectations for him. He wasn't concerned that he didn't get sleep again for the 5th night in a row, he was just happy and excited to be a daddy to that beautiful little girl.

Edwards arms wrapped around my waist as he kissed my neck, pulling me from my thoughts. I leaned into him as he swayed us from side to side.

"So, where are we putting this bad boy?" Edward kissed my shoulder again as he hummed into my skin. The vibrations going straight to my pussy that had been fucked not even an hour ago. _The things that man could do to my body…_

"How about...in between my shoulder blades? That way it will be noticeable with my dress and center things out a little more." My dress dipped low in the back and I was proud and honored that I would be able to show off all my beautiful work.

Edwards's fingers trailed down my back, a few inches below my angel wings. His fingers brought with them electricity with every touch causing me to shiver in appreciation.

"I think that's about right. Let me just get you prepped and we can start." Edward kissed my collarbone and smacked my ass before walking to his station.

"Don't you have to draw it out still?"

Edwards smile was heavenly as he stared into my eyes.

"Nope. I've had this stencil ready to go for months. I was just waiting for the right time to officially ask if you even wanted it."

I was taken back by the fact that he had wanted to _'brand'_ me for so long. I wanted it just as bad, and now I was getting my wish fulfilled. This truly was my time to shine, and not only was I marrying the man of my dreams in a few short days, I was getting treated like a princess too.

I had worn a halter-top that tied behind my neck and low on my waist just for this reason. That way we could be out front with everyone and my tits wouldn't be on display like some of the other, not so concerned ladies that sat in the guys' chairs.

"Good idea with the shirt. You've also been planning ahead I see." Edward patted his chair and I straddled it as he started sanitizing the area that would soon hold my new tattoo.

Edwards hands rubbed my back and sides and skimmed the sides of my breasts. I had to laugh at the gesture, seeing that he didn't need to be anywhere near most of those areas, but wanted to cop a feel all the same.

"Now, your 100% sure about this right baby? Cuz this is permanent." He stared into my eyes to let me know how serious he was. I knew this tattoo was more meaningful than the wedding where we were committing ourselves to one another in just a few days. It was a permanent mark on my body joining us together.

I cupped his cheek and kissed him passionately showing him just how serious _I_ was.

"I don't think I've been more committed about _anything_ in my life E. I can't think of a better way for us to bind ourselves together as one than this." I kissed him again as his hand dropped to my thigh. "Well, there's one other act that can bind us together I guess." I laughed as his hand went further up my thigh and I automatically spread my legs wanting to feel his hands on me, as they were this morning.

Soon enough, my brain kicked in and reminded me that we were not alone, and I pulled back, Edward nodded in understanding. _However, the back room would be ours later._

Edward got to work on my tattoo as Alice filtered in and finished up with her wedding ideas while he worked. Edward laughed here and there at his crazy sister, but deep down I knew how much he appreciated that she was taking on so much. He knew that I didn't do well with big occasions and that it would just make me anxious if it weren't for Alice and Esme's help.

Two hours later, Edward took me over to the mirror; I turned around and looked at the new tattoo that sat on my back. Edward watched me closely as I looked at what was now _me_. The smile on his face brought me out of my thoughts and as much as I wanted to cry over the fact that I had finally gotten what I sought, I couldn't. There was only one way to properly thank him for what he'd given me.

**

That night we took dinner over to Rose and Emmett and a crying Emma. I offered to go get her so that they could eat before Rose could stand. She looked dead on her feet and I was more than excited to hold the little girl.

"Hey baby girl. What's got you crying?" I picked Emma up and coddled her against my chest. She immediately went for my boob and I realized she was hungry. The gesture made me smile, my maternal instinct kicking in, wondering what it would feel like to be able to feed a child, my child. And I knew someday that I'd get a chance to experience myself. My day was coming.

Rose had gotten a bottle ready for her that I remembered to bring in with me. I went over to the glider and sat down, adjusting her on my chest and gave her the bottle. Her beautiful blues eyes stared back at me as she ate, her little hands attempting to hold onto the bottle as she sucked and gulped down her dinner.

I played with her fingers, reveling in the feeling of baby skin. So soft. _Kind of like the tip of a penis? Is it right to be using that analogy?_ Maybe not the best way to describe baby skin, and the more I thought about it, I was going to keep that idea to myself. I can only imagine what Rose or Emmett would think of me, comparing their daughter to a penis.

I put Emma on my shoulder after she was finished with her bottle to burp her, and after getting three good ones; I knew there would never be a question who her daddy was. She sounded just like him. Soon, she fell asleep, and her little hands dropped to rest on my chest, her little mouth hanging open in the shape of an O. I rocked us back and forth while singing 'You Are My Sunshine' to her over and over. Charlie used to sing it to me when I was a little girl; it was one of my fondest memories of my father.

I looked up to find Edward leaning against the door jam watching us, hands in his pockets, just staring. He was smiling from ear to ear. I motioned for him to come closer, which he did until he was sitting in front of me on the footrest and placed his hands on my thighs.

"You're a sight for soar eyes B." He ran his hand across Emma's hair never losing eye contact with me. His hand went across her head and down her back, caressing her softly as her breathing deepened and she fell into slumber. "I can't wait until it's _our_ baby in your arms."

His eyes filled with tears, and in return I felt myself tearing up. I knew now that we would some day have a family of our own. How we were going to get that family was still up in the air, but we would.

Holding Emma Rose, made me think of my little Anthony, but I knew he was in a good place, and the angels were watching over him. He most likely was watching over us right now, and his little cousin.

Edward grabbed her from my arms, kissing her head before putting her back in the crib. She slept through the transition and continued to sleep as he turned on her monitor and we walked out of her room, hand in hand.

**

Time started to fly and before I knew it, it was Thursday night and we were at the rehearsal dinner for our wedding, which was less than a day away. We had made our way out to the park earlier and did a dry run with the wedding party. Alex and Jane had flown in earlier in the day and we were now at the hotel, in the banquet hall finishing up last minute details and decorations. Once that was done, we headed over to the hotels restaurant where Carlisle and Esme were treating us all to a very expensive and lavish dinner.

Edward and I gave out our presents to our wedding party. The girls all got robes with their names on them and slippers for our morning of pampering tomorrow, and the guys got flasks and a bottle of whiskey. I wasn't so sure that alcohol and a holder was such a good gift for our group of guys, but Edward reminded me that if we didn't get the flasks, Emmett would just walk around with the bottle of Whiskey in hand all night, and that would just look tacky. This way he could at least sneak a sip and then put it back in his jacket. _Like that didn't look tacky._

I made Edward and Jasper promise me that they would not come to the ceremony drunk. They agreed but insisted that as soon as the service was over, we were all getting drinks and starting the _real_ party, as Jasper liked to call it. And then I talked to Emmett and Alex and reminded them that they needed to be on their best behavior and not provoke my groom. Alex was pretty easy to reign in, Emmett on the other hand I wasn't really sure on what he was planning on doing. Esme and Carlisle were on official baby duty starting tonight and Emmett was already tanked, enjoying his freedom a little too much. As long as he made it there, I guess that's all I really cared about.

Esme insisted that we sleep apart tonight saying that we would have the rest of our lives to share a bed. I mean, she knew that we lived together and had sex, _obviously_, so we didn't really get the point. When I say we, I mean Edward. I completely understood where his mother was coming from, it was tradition, but Edward insisted that he needed to have some single sex one last time before he was a married man. He was drinking with Emmett for most of the night and I think he forgot that the single sex he was talking about, would be with his soon to be _wife_, so it came down to the fact that it was the same kind of sex with the _same_ person. Reluctantly we agreed to spend the night apart to appease his mother. Alice and I were sharing a room, and Jasper and Edward were in another, minus the stocked bar. By the time we were done with everything, it was close to midnight and I was dead on my feet. Edward brought me to my room like the gentleman he is and held me by the hips in front of him as he kissed my neck causing me to forget all about the sleeping apart thing and wanting him to meet me in the room after I found a way to distract Alice.

"I don't wanna let you go B." He kissed my neck again before bringing me into a tight hug. "I won't sleep well without you angel." Although he had been drinking for most of the night, he was now stone cold sober as he spoke.

I kissed him back and hung my head against his chest.

"I know, neither will I. But its just one night. And then tomorrow night we can celebrate as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen." I gave him a wink at my innuendo, but this was a serious moment and it was hard to do.

A tear escaped my eye and he was quick to pick it up, along with my face, bringing me in for another kiss.

"I can't wait for you to be my wife. I've been waiting a life time for you B." He was the one crying now and _I_ was the one to wipe the tears away.

Before another word could be spoken, the door opened, and Alice stood their with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot anxiously.

"As romantic as you are Eddie, you need to say good night. Bella will be yours in a mere 18 hours. I think you can hold out that long." Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me back, but not before I grabbed one more kiss from my handsome fiancé.

We whispered 'I love you' before Alice shut the door.

I didn't sleep well, and when Alice began jumping on the bed at 8 in the morning, I felt the need to beat the shit out of my best friend. She meant well, I know she did, but I was tired, annoyed, in dire need of coffee and my Edward.

Esme and Jane met Alice, Rose and I for our morning of pampering. We relaxed with facials, manicures, pedicures and a full body wax. The last one was Alice's idea, not mine. But I figured in the end Edward would enjoy it. _I however, did not._

The day had gone by faster than I imagined it would, and it was time for makeup and hair. Rose curled my hair and styled it into a loose bun that hung low on my neck. I opted for no veil, instead placed Charlie's cufflinks into a few of the curls along with a few bobby pins that had diamonds, yes I said _diamonds_ on them. Alice's idea, not mine. _This one I liked though._

Alice did my make up, putting shimmering eye shadow on my upper lids, and making my cheeks rosy with my creamy white skin. I didn't wear any lipstick, knowing Edward would just kiss it off.

The girls were all in the room with me, while I stood in my robe, which hid my white thong and thigh high nylons. No bra needed for my dress, knowing Edward would appreciate it tonight. The less he had to take off of me, the better it would be.

"Something blue." Esme handed me a hand stitched blue hankie that she explained was hers from her wedding, Carlisle's mother had given it to her, Esme had given it to Rosalie, and now she was giving it to me to have for the day. She also made sure to let me know that she wanted it back because Alice would be needing it soon as well.

"Something old is the hair pins made out of Charlie's cufflinks." Alice explained, but I already knew that one. I had given them to her to take in and get done for me.

"Something borrowed." Rose flung a garter at me whispering that it was from her wedding and she wanted that shit back. She bent down in front of me and pulled it up my leg as I shivered at her cold fingers running up my leg and upper thigh. I folded the hankie that Esme had given me and stuck it in my garter unsure of where else to put it.

"And your something new is from Edward." Jane held out a large square box. I opened it to find three-tiered diamond earrings, necklace, and a tennis bracelet. Of course he couldn't just get me a dozen roses like most grooms, he had to go all out. But, I couldn't find it in me to care at the present moment, because I was currently covered in diamonds and you _can't_ be mad about that.

I couldn't help the tears that flowed from my eyes at his thoughtfulness. I knew the meaning behind the diamonds, one for Edward, Anthony and myself. Alice and Rose both took an eye and dabbed me until I stopped crying and got myself together.

Esme helped put it all on me telling me how much her son loved me and what a good influence I had been on his life which only made me cry harder, knowing that she had been put through a lot over the years and she was finally seeing who her son really was meant to be. A kind, caring man that I loved with every bit of my heart.

Jazz knocked on the door and Alice let him in. He was carrying a beautiful bouquet of red roses and another box, wearing a handsome black tux, his hair styled and pulled back. I had never seen Jasper so put together in all my life.

"The roses are from Edward of course," He rolled his eyes as he smiled. "and this is from Mama." He held out the little box. "I remembered it as something you always liked and wanted you to have it."

I opened the box to find a bracelet made from a string of pearls. It was one of Mama's that she rarely let me touch as a child telling me that it was her fancy jewelry that she only wore for special occasions. I had looked for it after she passed away, but couldn't find it anywhere. Now I guess I know why.

Jasper's arms found placement around my waist and held me in a tight hug as we talked about Mama and Charlie being with Edward and I today. He told me to be strong because that's what they both would have wanted. And for them I would try to be.

Jasper clasped the bracelet on my other wrist and kissed me before leaving so I could get dressed.

Last to put on was my dress, which Alice got for me and held out. I slipped it on quickly not wanting to flash my soon to be mother in law, especially with all the piercings she didn't need to see.

Rose zipped me up in the dress that fit me like a glove. It had thin straps that were covered in rhinestones that went down my bare back and to my waistline that sat just above my crack. The front plunged low with rhinestones across my bust line. The fabric was flowy and soft. I didn't need the train, or big dress, it wasn't what I wanted. And we were getting married in a park, not a church.

As I looked in the mirror, I turned slightly to stare at the _Cullen Crest_ that sat in the middle of my shoulder blades in between my angel wings and thought of how utterly perfect it was as an addition to the work Jasper had done. I was a Cullen now for life. There was no turning back.

Esme cried and kissed me before making her way back to her own hotel room, I would assume to get dressed herself, but probably she needed to cry a little more as her baby boy was getting married off in a matter of only an hour or so. Jane left to go check on Alex and I was left with Alice and Rose while they slipped their dresses on. They both wore light green, each a different design, but long to the ground and flowing.

Rose the blonde bitch was looking smoking hot for only having her baby 3 weeks ago, and fit into hers with no problems. I think I loved her, and hated her a little more in that moment, seeing that her tummy was almost completely flat already and she looked like the model she was.

Jasper came and got me a few minutes later as Alice, Rose and I were enjoying a glass of champagne. He had put on his green vest under his tux jacket and Alice was having a hard time keeping her hands to herself. I would usually make some kind of joke about the two of them being all pervy, but just watching them together, seeing the love and affection they held for one another made my heart swell with happiness. Jasper had found his soul mate just as I had. The smile he wore when he was around Alice told me he had never been so happy in all his life. Jasper went from the tattooed bachelor who slept with random girls on a regular basis, only using them as flings, to settling down and getting married in only a matter of months to the love of his life. Mama would definitely be proud her boy.

We made our way down to the front entrance as Jasper held my arm so I didn't trip down the stairs in my 4-inch heels, where a horse drawn carriage was waiting for us. I stood there in shock, looking at the carriage that would be taking me to my husband. I was living a fairytale dream and had never felt more like Cinderella in all my life.

As much as I tried, Jasper wouldn't give me any information on Edward, just said that he was excited and wouldn't shut the hell up about me all morning. Apparently they played golf or something, which totally shocked me, seeing that they weren't the golfing type. However, I would have died to be a fly on the golf cart, watching the reactions of others as my tattooed boys walked onto the green.

Jasper placed his hand over mine and gave it a gentle squeeze giving me a knowing glance as he held out his hand for me to get into the carriage. I was graceful, well as graceful as I ever could be as I stepped up and sat down next to Jasper who grabbed my hand again.

"Mama and Charlie would be so proud of you today Bell. You look absolutely stunning. Edward is the luckiest fucker for being able to call you his wife after today." Jaspers eyes were filled with tears, and as much as I didn't want to cry again, I realized that it was inevitable, and I shouldn't have even worn makeup to begin with. This was my last moment with my brother before I was a married woman and I wasn't going to let a little bit of makeup mess this up for us.

"Thank you Jazz. Thank you for doing this today, and thank you for always being there for me. I love you so much and can't wait to see where the future takes us all. Where ever it takes us, I know it will be together." I squeezed his hand again, as the carriage started to move. I wanted to hug him, but knew _that_ hug was still coming.

"I love you to Bell. Always have, always will. Now lets go get you married shall we?" I nodded and gave him a smile as we strolled through the park to our destination.

As we came closer I seen Rose and Alice walk down the isle with Emmett and Alex. Carlisle, Esme, Jane and a few others of Edwards friends sat in the white chairs set up near the little pond. I had to laugh when I seen the swans in the pond that were swimming around. I shook my head at the Pixie who got her way and made sure my _family_ was able to attend.

My breath caught in my throat when my eyes met Edward. He was standing up front with the judge who was officiating for us, with a smile that spread from ear to ear.

He was wearing a black tux with a silver vest. His top two buttons were undone just the way I would have wanted him, no bow tie or anything that would have made him uncomfortable. We were ourselves, and even on our wedding day we were going to be who we always were. His eyes met mine and I gave him a smile as I tried to keep the tears at bay. He was breathtaking and I had a hard time looking at anyone but him.

Everyone's heads turned as we got near, the clopping of the horses hooves on the cobblestone letting them know of our arrival. I could hear the violinist playing, and the carriage came to a stop in front of the trail of white rose pedals that had been laid for the center isle.

Jasper got out first and held his hand for me while giving me a wink. I took it and stepped down thanking the high heavens that I didn't fall. I adjusted my dress and grabbed my bouquet of white roses and clasped my arm in his, excited to meet my groom.

"Are you ready to become Mrs. Cullen?" He whispered in my ear. I nodded unable to say anything more. I was ready. With everything I had, I was ready to stand beside Edward's side for the rest of our lives.

As we walked down the isle, I thought of Charlie and Mama and how much I felt them with me today. They were all around me. Just like I knew they would be.

Charlie would have said something like _'you look good kiddo'_, and Mama would have been ogling Edward saying that I '_sure know how to pick'em_.'

I thought about our baby Anthony and rubbed his name on my inner wrist telling him his mama and daddy were thinking of him today and that he would be brought with us into our new lives as we joined ourselves as husband and wife. I shed a single tear for him, then wiped it away quickly not wanting to make a scene.

Carlisle was holding Esme who was sobbing silently as I walked past them and held my hand out for her to grab giving it a small squeeze before letting go and stopping in front of Edward.

_My_ Edward.

This was when Jasper hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek, telling me how proud he was of me. He gave my hand to Edward with a head nod. Edward nodded back as he took my hand, and in an unheard thought, Jasper was telling Edward to take care of me, which Edward responded by saying '_with all that I have'._

Poor Edward couldn't help himself and kissed me on the cheek as soon as he had my hand making me grin from ear to ear. Everyone giggled and the judge called the ceremony to order.

"You look utterly astonishing, my beautiful Bella." Edward raised my hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss over my knuckles as he stared into my eyes. I could only smile in response as my words had completely left me.

When the judge said "_Who gives this woman to this man?"_ Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper all stood up and said _'we do'_. Not only was Jasper giving me to Edward in place of my father, so was the rest of our little family. I had never felt so much love for a group of people in all my life.

We lit the unity candle bringing us together as one flame.

We also lit 3 more candles, one for Charlie, Mama and Anthony and brought their flames together with our own. Edward and I took a moment to gather our thoughts and I seen him rubbing his tattoo just like I had been doing.

It was time for our vows, and as we faced each other and held hands Edward said the most beautiful words that melted me, and barely left me standing.

"I take you B, to be my wife, from this day forward, through good and bad, for richer or for poorer, but hopefully just through the richer part. I promise to be faithful to you and our family. I promise to be your lover, your best friend, your husband, and the father of our children. I love you B with all that I am. I promise to make you breakfast in bed, clean up my cereal bowls in the sink, and to take out the garbage on a regular basis. I also promise to play the piano for you at least three times a week just to see you smile. I promise to love and cherish you like the Angel you are. You're mine for life B as I am yours."

It was my time to speak, and after I composed myself enough to speak, my words flowed freely.

"I take you E, to be my husband, from this day forward through good and bad. And I'm not gonna say through richer or poorer, because I'm hoping that the later doesn't occur, but if it does, then we'll make it through that too. I promise to love you with everything that I have until I take my last breath. I promise to be your wife, your lover, your best friend and to be the best mother I can be to our future family. You are my life E, my green eyed angel. And I vow myself to you for eternity. You're mine for life as I am yours."

We exchanged rings and had Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper come up and put their hands on us to bless the rings that bound us together. We figured since they were all giving me away to Edward, they were going to bless the rings as well.

After the exchange of rings, Edward led me to sit in a chair in front of everyone. He kissed my hand and whispered in my ear as I stared at him with a confused look upon my face.

"My gift to you my beautiful Angel." Then he kissed my cheek and took a seat on a stool in front of me. Jasper sat beside him with his guitar in hand.

Jasper started playing and my eyes met Edwards who were staring intently at my own. He began to sing, all the while still holding my hand, rubbing across my knuckles.

_Time, is going by, so much faster than I,  
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.  
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,_  
_So I'm starting to regret not telling all of it to you.  
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know..._

My eyes were tearing up so badly I was having a hard time watching as his beautiful lips moved and sang the sweetest words to my soul.

_  
You're Never gonna be alone!  
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,  
I won't let you fall...  
You're never gonna be alone!  
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone._

_And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,  
'Coz forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you,  
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know..._

_Never gonna be alone!  
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,  
I won't let you fall.  
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.  
We're gonna_ _see the world out,  
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone._

Edward's grip on my hand loosened as he leaned forward and knelt down in front of my chair, placing his hands on my hips and holding me to him as he closed his eyes and continued on. No one else existed in that moment, not his parents or our family or even the swans that were swimming to the side of us. All I could see was Edward; all I could feel was Edward.

_  
Ooooh!  
You've gotta live every single day,  
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?  
Don't let it slip away,  
Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.  
Every single day,  
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?  
Tomorrow never comes..._

_Time, is going by, so much faster than I,  
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.  
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know..._

_Never gonna be alone!  
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,  
I won't let you fall.  
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.  
We're gonna see the world out,  
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone._

As he sang the last part to me, we leaned our heads together and his voice became softer. I heard a few 'awes' from people around us and Edward sang his heart and soul to me. His voice was my world.

_I'm gonna be there always,  
I won't be missing one more day,  
I'm gonna be there always,  
I won't be missing one more day._

By the time the song came to a close, I was a blubbering baby and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as he held me to him. I didn't care that everyone was watching us, or that the judge was clearing his throat wanting us to move on. We held each other like that for several moments, as I thanked him for giving me the best gift of all. _Himself_.

I was able to compose myself yet again and looked up to see the tearful eyes of Alice, Rose and Esme staring back at me knowing exactly how I felt, and knowing what an amazing man that stood beside me.

I gave Jasper a hug and quick kiss before we made our way back in front of the judge, hand in hand.

The ceremony proceeded after a few jokes from the judge, trying to break the emotional atmosphere.

Then, he finally said the magic words Edward had been waiting to hear and pulled me in for a long and passionate kiss. His lips were on mine as we kissed softly, slowly, feeling one another for the first time as husband and wife. Edward's hands were on my bare lower back holding me to him as Emmett and Alex whistled for us. Everyone stood and clapped, but Edward wasn't ready to release my lips just yet, and I couldn't blame him. I never wanted his touch to leave my body again.

Eventually, we broke apart, and I heard Rose yell out '_thank God'_, rolling her eyes at us, all the while smiling away with her tear-filled eyes, clapping loudly.

We made our way down to the carriage, Edward lifted me up, holding me mid air as he kissed me again, flashes going off left and right, then set me down and took his place beside me. We left and took a ride through the park, as I pulled Edward in for another kiss, not worrying about everyone watching. It was just Edward and I in that moment.

"Mr. Cullen, you need to _love_ your wife and lavish her with kisses." I moaned in between sucking on his neck and nibbling on his ear as his hand started to find the hem of my dress, and I slapped it away.

"Mrs. Cullen, you need to _respect_ you husband and let him _touch_ you." Edward's hands rested on my shoulders and started moving down my bare arms, causing goose bumps to form from his touch. I wanted nothing more than to consummate the marriage then and there, but we were in the middle of a park with several tourists clapping and cheering at us. We were definitely not alone.

We did the usual pictures with the two of us, and of the entire group and us before making our way to the ballroom at the hotel, where we were introduced for the first time as '_Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen.'_ The room was full of Carlisle and Esme's colleagues, our friends and family. I had never felt so much love ever in my life, even though I didn't know half of the people. Edward smiled and nodded at many of them, making me feel more comfortable as we went.

Our first dance was '_Wonderful Tonight'_ by Eric Clapton, which Edward sang the entire song in my ear as I danced in his arms, head on his chest feeling the vibrations from his voice. Jasper danced with me for the father daughter dance, and I wish I could say his singing was as good as Edward's, but apparently after we left the ceremony, the flasks were pulled out and Jasper, Emmett and Alex had finished off several bottles of whiskey already.

My bouquet landed in Alice's hands, which I didn't plan at all, but I think she pushed some poor 10 year old out of the way, and the garter was flung at Jasper's head. We had discussed the garter toss ahead of time and it was decided that Edward would just pull it out quickly not making a show, but that's not what happened. The guys made Edward put his hands behind his back and fish it out with his teeth. I had to remind myself that many people surrounded us as his head went under my dress and my legs spread apart on their own accord. Edward decided to make a pit stop first and I felt his tongue on my thong-covered pussy as he licked up and down my slit. I jumped a bit off my chair, catching Esme's eye watching me carefully with a smirk on her face.

_For being on baby duty, she looked like she was enjoying the champagne._

Edward finally got to the garter and started to slowly pull it down my leg as his teeth grazed my inner thigh, making my stomach swirl in pleasure.

Dinner was amazing and I was glad that I hadn't drunk so much that I couldn't taste it. I would definitely need food in my stomach for later on.

Alice gave the first speech of the night that brought us all to tears and laughs. You never knew what was going to come out of her little mouth and we had to brace ourselves for the worst.

"Hello to everyone. If you don't know me, I _truly_ feel sorry for you. But seriously, I'm Alice Cullen, Edwards little sister. And the lady sitting next to my big brother is my new sister Bella. But I've always thought of her as a sister, its just permanent now." Alice gave me a wink, causing Edward to run his hand through his hair, anticipating what else she was going to come up with. This wasn't all of the Alice we knew and loved. "Edward and Bella have been together for about a year now, and I can't say that it has been the easiest year for either of them, but when it comes to love, when is life _ever_ easy? Bella brings out the best in my brother. She is loving and caring and a dare devil that is willing to do _anything_ just to try it. Hint hint...And then there's Edward, who at times can be a little over bearing but underneath all those piercings and ink, is the warmest loving brother I could have asked for." Emmett yelled out _'what about me?_' " And you too Emm." A loud '_thank you'_ was yelled back. "Both of you are everything a little sister could ever ask for. I love you with all my heart, and I can speak for everyone when I say, welcome to the family _officially_ Bella."

Emmett felt the need to go next, and I almost wished he wouldn't have.

"Bella Barbie and my little bro Eddie, what can I say about the two of you? Oh yeah, congrats and all that jazz yada yada yada, but thank the _Lord_ and all the high heavens you finally did it. We all knew that the two of you were meant to be from the first night you laid eyes on each other at the bar. Yup, we knew back then. And now we sit here today, celebrating your marriage. I don't know if this is gonna stop all your late night runs to the back room, I can only hope, but either way I'm happy for you both. I love you Bella Barbie. You've been the second sister I always wanted and you've managed to tame this wild fuc.... I mean _sucker_ here, and you have all of our sincerest gratitude for that. Enjoy tonight, cuz you'll never get it back. Congrats!" Emmett held his glass up and we all toasted.

Rose only rolled her eyes at her husband as she took care of Emma and opted not to say anything. We both knew how she felt about us.

Alex told a few stories of Edwards wild days, which had Emmett rolling, and Edward blushing profusely, all the while Carlisle and Esme were cracking up shaking their heads.

Carlisle and Esme shared a few words welcoming me to the family and we thanked them for their kindness of the reception.

Jasper was last to speak and I leaned into Edwards chest knowing that his words were going to be the hardest.

He stood in front of us with the microphone in his hand as he twirled the cord nervously.

"Bell, Edward. Thank you for letting us all be a part of your special day. I did the honor of walking Bell down the isle today in place of Charlie. Bell, Charlie was with us today, weather we could see him or not. I felt him and I know you did too. He would have been so proud of you sweetheart. He probably would have tried to cover you with his jacket or something like he used to before he passed away, trying to hide your beautiful body. But he would have been so proud of the woman you have become and the man you have chosen to share your life with. I feel privileged to have walked side by side with you for most of your life, and I have to admit, I kinda feel like a proud papa giving his little girl away today. I love you Bell, and I love you to Edward. Brothers for life right? My Mama always told me to watch over Bell and take care of her, and today I pass this responsibility off to my _brother_ Edward. She's yours man. Take care of her for me, and Charlie and my Mama. Cuz if you don't, you still have to answer to me. You might be my boss, but I could _so_ take you." That made Edward smile, and I swear I heard him mutter _'In your dreams, Whitlock'_. "To the bride and groom, may you never go to sleep fighting, and if that were to occur, may your walls _thump_ until the neighbors yell. Cheers!"

Everyone was laughing again, as the closing statement mortified Edward and me. Of course someone had to say _something_ about how loud I was. I should have known even on my wedding day I wouldn't be able to get away from that.

I chose not to speak knowing that I would've never made it through. So Edward stood and spoke for us as I stood by his side, with his hand wrapped around my waist.

"Bella and I would like to thank everyone for sharing this day with us. My _wife_," He looked down at me and gave me a quick kiss. "wanted me to speak knowing that she would have a hard time after all those speeches from our _beloved_ friends and family. Thank you mom and dad for this beautiful party, it's more than we could have ever asked for. And thank you to Rose, Emmett, Alice and Alex for standing with us today as we pledged ourselves to one another. And Jasper, thank you for giving me my lovely wife. Your role was most important today. And I make this promise to you now, that I will _always_ take care of our girl from now until eternity." Edward brought his eyes back to me and we were alone in the room, just the two of us. "I love you B, and I can't tell you how excited I am that you are finally my wife. _My life_. You always have been everything to me, and now its official. Legal as Emmett would like to call it." Emmett yelled something, and I heard Rose hit him. "I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us." Edward looked back out at everyone as he took a deep breath. "I want to make a special toast to those who couldn't be with us tonight. To Mama and Charlie, thank you for raising the most beautiful girl that I am now fortunate enough to call my wife. I will forever be in your debt. And to our son Anthony." He stopped for a second clearing his throat, he was just as choked up as I was. "Your mama and I love you so much little man. Hope that you are having fun up there with the Angels and keeping a place open for us for when we someday can join you. We think about you often and keep you with us always." I wiped tears away and rubbed my tattoo, as did Edward. He looked at me for a second as he composed himself once more, then gave me a quick kiss. "Cheers to our new life together!"

Every one clinked their glasses and Edward dipped me in for a sweet kiss. Emmett of course was making catcalls along with the rest of our friends. Lets just say that the champagne was flowing _freely_.

The dinner concluded, and the dance began. The guys had been drinking out of their flasks for quite some time and were getting tanked pretty fast. I made my rounds and danced with as many people as I could before I made my way back to Edward. He had lost the jacket and vest, and his shirt was pulled out from his pants.

All I wanted to do was ravish him here not caring who was watching, but I remembered what Mama always told me. _Good things come to those who wait._

So I waited, hoping her words would pay off.

At the end of the night, most of our guests had gone home except for a few stragglers here and there. Carlisle and Esme left with Emma Rose taking her back to their hotel room so that Emmett and Rose could enjoy the rest of their night with us.

Edward grabbed a bottle of champagne and glasses and filled on for each of us. As we stood in a circle listening to Oasis sing _Wonderwall_ in the background, I looked around at my family. My husband to my side, along with Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett.

This chapter was coming to a close now, but a new one was starting. Just like it always does.

A year ago, I was touring the country with my best friend before we moved to the city. It was the best move I could have ever imagined. There I met my husband and my family.

I will never forget anything that happened this year. And hope to share our story with our future kids. All the good and the bad brought us to where we were today. A baby, an engagement and a wedding later, this chapter in our lives has come to a close.

I would never want to relive some of the events that I went through, but realized that we may not be here today if some of those didn't happen.

I reached back and touched my tattoo on my neck, remembering who I was today, and who I wasn't ever going to be again.

I was strong and powerful, and never again would I let those in my past haunt another one of my dreams or memories. That was a closed chapter in my life that I wouldn't revisit again.

With Edward's arm around my waist, me leaning into his side, we all raised our glasses as I said the only thing that could be said in that moment. "To the next chapter in our lives. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" Was heard from around the circle as our glasses clinked together, Edward and I kissed as he pulled me in to his chest. I faintly remember Emmett yelling '_Get a room!_'

So, that's exactly what we did.

**A/N: Tears. There you have it. The last official chapter to 'Never Again.' I heard '_Never Gonna Be Alone'_ by Nickelback, back in August and it became the inspiration to this story. I have had that song in my head all these months as I typed page upon page of Edward and Bella's journey. Every time I heard it on the radio, in the car, washing dishes, or playing with the cat, I thought about how I could get this story out in the best possible way.**

'_**Wonderful Tonight'**_** was my husband and mines first dance at our wedding so I had to include it. Just imagine Edward singing that in your ear, pressed up against his chest. It's a nice thought if I do say so myself.**

**The lines where Bella says Edward needs to '**_**love'**_** her, Edward says she needs to '**_**respect'**_** him come from the most horrible book in the entire world that was given to us as a wedding present, basically indicating that in an ideal marriage, the man is supposed to **_**love**_** the wife, and the woman is supposed to **_**respect**_** the man by having sex whenever he wants it in order to have a happy and Christian marriage. I am a Catholic and have strong beliefs, but have a hard time thinking that sex should be on a mans terms whenever he wants it, and that's that. So that said, it has been a long running joke between my husband and I that we need to love/respect one another. Anyways, that is me rambling.**

**NOW, I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION! Good, that got you attention. Does anyone want to see what happens on their wedding night? Maybe a little smutty lemony goodness? If I get enough of a response for it, then you'll get an extra little delight in the next few days. So, really, just push the review button and tell me how much you want to see Edward and Bella go at it one more time. If not, then you're just gonna have to use your imagination and live with the Epilogue. Your choice.**

**If you are reading 'Give and Take', please note that I have been putting all my spare time into finishing up this lovely story and have taken a small break, but a new chapter should be up very soon. In the words of Mama, good things come to those who wait.**

**This is the longest note I have ever written, and I think I'm done now.**

**The biggest thank you goes out to everyone who's gone with me on this journey. It's been fun kiddies. **

**Let me know if you want the smutty wedding night, otherwise, we'll see you at the Epilogue which will be posted in about a week or so.**

**Reviewers get a teaser of what the wedding night smut **_**could**_** be like!**


	33. Chapter 33 Get a Room!

**A/N: First off, I want to apologize to everyone for not responding to reviews. This was the first time since I started this story that I didn't do that. BUT, I figured with the response I got, you wanted your wedding night smut, _and _you wanted it NOW. So, instead of writing my thank you's to all you lovelies, I decided to write. _AND _almost got my FF taken away from me by an evil woman, who I love! Ok, so she's half way across the country from me, but hey, it could happen. Anyways, here's the wedding night smut. Hope you enjoy!**

**Oh, and welcome to all the lurkers that came out of hiding so late in the game. But like I always say, better late than never. I REALLY appreciate you coming out to say hi, and tell me how much you wanted to see these two love birds do the dirty!**

**On with the show…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, unfortunately. SM is a total Goddess for creating Edward. Enough said.**

"Get a room!" Emmett yelled breaking the intense kiss that Edward was currently gracing me with. His lips were like soft pillows, wet and hot; a distinct taste of whiskey and smoke on his breath.

Before I knew what was happening, I was lifted in his arms as I wrapped my own around his neck, throwing my head back as he placed kisses across my collarbone, sucking hard enough to leave a mark, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

I briefly heard Edward mumbling something to someone, his mouth leaving my skin as I whimpered _quite loudly_ at the separation. I didn't care what was being said, nor would I feel bad for not paying attention later, my mind was on Edward and getting him to keep moving his feet in the direction towards the exit. I was secure in my husband's arms and wanted to be alone with him _now_.

My libido had been in over drive ever since I saw him standing at the alter in that black tux looking like the model he was. And it didn't help when he decided he needed a _taste _when he went for the garter. The look on Esme's face was priceless; as she had to know _something_ was going on down there.

Emmett's boisterous voice could be heard across the entire room as he whistled out catcalls and hoots as Edward went for my neck again, not caring who was watching. As much as I wanted to flick my new brother in law off, I didn't, and took the more mature road and did a high fist pump in the air for him to see. That was followed by a round of whistles from Alice and Rose. Jasper even yelled a _'go gett'em, tiger!_' in there too.

"Where're we going baby?" We were now out in the hallway, which was mostly vacant of bystanders and I wanted so badly to drop to my knees and start out our night, but Edward kept his hold on me and wasn't letting me down.

"Emmett told us to get a room, so that's exactly what we're doing." His lips were on mine again as I heard the elevator ding and the doors open. His voice was like liquid sex going straight to my aching core, which was begging for his attention. My inner thighs rubbed together as he held me in his arms, and a small growl was released from his chest.

There was a cute couple in their 80's that got in along side us and as much as I wanted to put a smile on my face and be all nicey nice, I seriously just wanted to be alone, so Edward could hike up my dress and fuck me senseless with that tongue of his.

God I loved that tongue.

My filter was now completely gone and I wanted to be with my husband, _alone_ with my husband, so that we could _consummate_ the marriage over and over and over…

"Oh look Harold." The _young_ lady with white hair up in a bun poked at her husband with a huge grin her face. "They're newlyweds. How sweet. Do you remember when we were like that?" The smile got bigger and bigger as she winked at Edward and _Harold_ blew me a kiss. I looked over at Edward to see he was blushing, then slowly he put me down.

_Harold_ managed to eye fuck me the entire ride up to the 6th floor when they got off. _Thank God._ He obviously knew what was going down in _t minus 5 minutes_ and the blush on his cheeks told me that he wasn't getting any of his own.

_Poor guy._

The elevator doors closed and I was pinned against the back wall as Edward held my hands above my head in his, kissing down my neck, softly nibbling and sucking as he went. Then his hands moved ever so slowly down my arms, his fingertips ghosting over my highly aroused skin.

"God I want you so fucking bad _wifey_." I could literally feel my panties seeping with my arousal as he called me _wifey_.

"That sounds so fucking good coming from your lips, _hubby._ Say it again." I looked him in the eyes, biting my lower lip as he stared back at me hungrily, his eyes dark with lust.

"_Wifey_."

I felt myself go weak in the knees as that word left his mouth again. I attacked his lips with my own, biting on his bottom one as they parted and my tongue tasted the sweet taste of whiskey on his tongue as I moaned in his mouth, the vibrations coursing through us both.

I would never tire of tasting my Edward, my _husband_.

"You taste delicious baby." I moaned as he sucked on my neck, my hips thrusting into his, feeling his hardened cock grinding against my hip, ready and waiting for me like I knew he would be.

"Do I now?" His cocky smile was in place as he lifted me by the hips and I wrapped my legs around his waist in the most lady like fashion with my wedding dress on.

My very _expensive_ wedding dress I might add.

I nodded my head yes as I wrapped my hands in his hair, gently scratching at his scalp as his hands roamed my ass, grabbing and pinching as he went, causing me to push myself further into his body looking for any kind of friction I could get.

"Looking for something?" I asked all shy like. I knew _exactly_ what he was looking for.

His hands stopped over the top of my ass and his piercing green eyes bored into my own.

"I knew it!" He looked like the kid in a '_Christmas Story'_ who finally got his gun. "I knew you were wearing a thong. You have no idea how many thoughts are running through my head right now of what you look like in nothing but that tiny piece of silk. You're such a naughty fucking tease, you know that?"

"Your tease. All yours." My lips were on his again as he leaned me up against the wall, his hand going for the strap of my dress. I prayed he wouldn't rip it. Someday I wanted to be able to show our children what it looked like, _in one piece._

"All mine." He moaned as the strap slowly started to fall from my shoulder, exposing the top of my breast. "_All mine_." He mumbled to himself again as he stared at my nipple that was coming into view. His mouth dropped open as he seen the first little surprise I had planned for him. "When did you get _that_?" The drool was literally falling from his mouth as he stared at my naked breast.

"Oh, this old thing?" I flicked the heart charm that swung from my nipple causing him to moan in reaction, his face twisting in pain most likely from his aching cock that was currently positioned up against my soaking wet pussy. "Alice ordered it for me."

"Fuck my life! You have no idea how much I love it baby." He bent his head and took my nipple in his mouth, pulling lightly on the charm making me moan in pleasure. "_So fucking hot." _ He moaned. His fingers started to slip under the fabric covering my other side. "Is there a match under here?"

I slapped his hand away as the door dinged signaling we were on our floor. Edward pulled me in for one more kiss as I pushed my strap up my arm covering myself just in case we had an audience on the other side of the door.

"I need you Bella. I need you so fucking bad." Edward moaned as I tightened my hold around his waist with my legs, sealing our hold on one another. My shoe fell off in the process, Edward began moving us toward the door as it opened, anxious in anticipation of what he knew was going to happen.

"My shoe!" I yelled as we walked towards our door. Why I cared about a shoe, I didn't know, but Alice would probably kill me if I lost half of the $500 pair.

"Fuck the shoe, I'll buy you another pair!" Edward mumbled against my chest as his hand went in his back pocket for his key card.

How he walked us to our room was beyond me. I was still wrapped around his waist blocking his view of the hallway completely.

When we got in front of room 1126 he set me down, I whimpered at the loss of his body on my own, trying to figure out why he would set me down _now_, of all times.

"I'm doing this right. You're my wife and I'll carry you across the threshold like a good husband." I smiled at the gesture as he became very serious, picking me up bridal style once more. I wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you baby, but when have we ever done anything right, or by the book? I would have been just as fine with getting carried in the other way, you know that right?"

"Of course I do. But, seeing that we didn't keep too many traditions in play for this day or anything leading up to it, I wanted to do this right." The door opened and I was met with a dark room illuminated in candlelight. "Happy wedding night, Love. I'm going to make it a night you _never_ forget." He kissed my lips, brushing his tongue against my bottom one, his ring clinking against my teeth.

"A night _we_ will never forget. It's you and me now baby. We're a package deal, so this is gonna be a night that _we_ will never forget."

Edward nodded and set me down, standing behind me with his hands wrapped around my waist, head leaning in the crook of my neck as I kicked off my lonely shoe and took a look around the room.

This was no average hotel room; it was the penthouse suite. The living room was decorated in hundreds of candles that were lit and glowing, a trail of rose pedals leading to the private balcony, another trail leading to what I figured was the bedroom.

"This is amazing Edward. How did you…" I stopped mid sentence knowing exactly how he pulled this off. Money wasn't an issue for Edward and he would insist that only the best for us tonight would be appropriate. _I couldn't agree more_.

"I love you, my Bella." He turned me by the hips so I was facing him. His hands were on my lower back, rubbing up and down, as I placed my own on his chest. "Let me love you, for the first time as my wife."

"Please." I moaned as he bent down to kiss me softly, just once on the lips.

I felt his hands going for the zipper on my dress, listening as it moved down my ass ever so slow, the teeth separating one by one. When it was all the way down, he reached his hands inside and firmly cupped my cheeks in his hands, lifting me as I wrapped my legs around his waist yet again. _I must have been on cloud nine, because my feet were barely touching the ground tonight._

My hands worked the buttons on his shirt, popping a few as I went, rushed and hurried to see his naked chest before me.

We moved into the bedroom, kissing like the love struck teenagers we were acting like. I stopped for a second to look around and noticed the rose pedals that decorated the floor, the candles along the walls and the bottle of champagne sitting next to the bed chilling in a bucket of ice. As Edward started to lower me to the bed, I noticed the red rose pedals that were across the comforter.

"Wait!" I almost screamed. His movements halted and he looked scared. "Red roses, white dress. I _like_ this dress."

I was on my feet once more, standing in front of Edward as his lust filled eyes moved to the thin straps holding my dress in place.

"Then I guess we'll have to get rid of the dress then, huh?" His tongue darted out, the barbell running against his teeth as both hands went to my shoulders sliding the straps down my arms, the dress falling to the floor in the process. The feeling of the silk sliding down my body was the like ice on my over heated skin.

In my mind I knew I should pick it up so Alice doesn't have a field day, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. That's what dry cleaners were for. They'd know what to do with it.

At least I was conscious enough to not let it get stained by the roses.

EPOV

Bella's beautiful breasts came into view as her dress fell to the floor. Tiny hearts with diamonds in the middle hung from each of her nipples and as sad as I was to see that they replaced the green barbells _I_ had put in, she did this for _me_ to see, knowing how much _I_ would love them.

I did.

My hands moved on their own accord to cup each one of her breasts, her nipples hardening with my motions, as she stood in front of me, wearing nothing but a white satin thong with two silver hearts on the front.

"Do we have a theme tonight, my love?" I asked as I wrapped my hands around her waist, letting them rest just above her ass crack, running my fingers along the silkiness of the fabric sitting there.

"Two hearts. Yours and mine. I thought it was very fitting seeing what took place today."

Half the buttons on my shirt had been ripped off in the other room so when Bella's little hands, _one which now held my ring on it,_ went for my shirt again, there was only one more to go.

"Just rip it. You know you want too." I told her with a husky voice. I watched her eyes as she pulled on the shirt, the little silver button popping off and hitting the floor.

Ripping a button off a shirt should _not_ be this much of a turn on, but basically anything Bella did put me in a highly aroused state I came to find out lately.

After my shirt was off, Bella went for my belt buckle, watching with intense eyes as she pulled my belt from my pants and then went to unbutton them. As she pulled them down, her eyes went big when she seen I was wearing silk boxers for her.

Her hands were on my chest again as I kicked off my pants, boxers and socks.

"You're absolutely beautiful, E. How did I ever get so damn lucky?" Her eyes were filled with tears and I never took into thought that our first time as husband and wife was going to be emotional.

But it was. For both of us. The thought of having her as my wife, my partner for life was more than a little exciting.

There was so much love and devotion that we felt for one another, I felt the tears form in my own eyes as I wiped hers away with a kiss to each cheek, licking the salty taste from my lips. I ran my hands slowly up and down her arms, over her soft skin smelling like vanilla and strawberries, as we stared into one anothers eyes.

"How did _I_ get so lucky? That should be _my_ question. You're everything I've ever wanted in a wife Bella. You're smart, kind, sweet, funny and absolutely breath taking. You're the love of my life and you made me the happiest man ever when you agreed to be my wife today. I love you my angel, with all that I am, with all that I have." The tears fell down her cheeks and I sniffled, trying to hold back my own.

"Thank you. For everything. I don't even know what to say to that." She was so beautiful, even when she was crying, because I knew that these tears, were tears of happiness, happiness of everything to come in our lives.

"You don't have to say anything."

I gently pushed Bella back on the bed as I climbed on top of her, kissing her lips quickly before moving down her neck, across her collar bone and to her perfect chest, sucking on each nipple as my hands held her near her ribs as she writhed below me, small moans coming from her mouth urging me to continue with my exploration.

My kisses moved in between her breasts and down her sternum to her belly button where I licked a few circles before dipping in. Her moans got louder as her hips bucked into me, wanting more, craving the attention I would soon give her.

I made my way to the top of her thong, smelling her arousal, bringing my nose to run against her wet panties, wanting to taste my _wife_. With my teeth in the waist ban, I slowly started to pull her thong down as she lifted her hips up helping me along. I'd been wanting to do this to her since I pulled her garter off, knowing exactly what was waiting for me when we were finally alone.

I got them all the way to her ankles before she kicked them off, too anxious to just enjoy what I was doing for her. I looked up to see her lust filled eyes staring back at me, anticipating what was coming next. I stared down at her glistening folds, wanting to take things nice and slow tonight, wanting her to feel every ounce of love I held for her.

"Edward, I _need_ you." She moaned as her hands went to her hair and started pulling out pins, shaking it as soft waves fell to her shoulders, my own personal porno playing in front of me.

My hands immediately went to my aching cock, rubbing him through my boxers, enjoying how good it felt for the silk to slide up and down my hardness.

I must not have been moving fast enough, as soon as she was done shaking out her hair, I watched as one hand twisted her pert nipple, pulling at the charm, the other moving down her body to her swollen clit, rubbing circles around it as she moved her hips in the same pattern.

"Touch yourself angel. Let me watch as you make yourself cum." I pulled off my boxers, never taking my eyes from her wet pussy as her hips ground harshly into the bed, little whimpers leaving her mouth, going straight to my cock.

"Fuck!" She screamed, her hips collapsing against the bed as her orgasm shot through her entire body. She looked up at me, a deep red blush spreading across her face, the most erotic sight I've ever seen. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't wait."

"Don't ever apologize for doing _that_, my love. That was absolutely astounding. Feel free to touch yourself like _that_ in front of me whenever you want too." The precum on my cock was dripping off me, I wiped it with my finger, bringing it to Bella's mouth as she opened wide and sucked it off, her tongue making circles around it as my mouth hung open watching her, knowing how good her tongue felt on _another_ part of my body.

My wet finger trailed down her body, causing goose bumps to form where I touched as I spread her legs with my knees and bent my head down to place a kiss on her clit, sticking my tongue out to run up her wet folds, tasting her sweetness.

"Absolutely delicious!" Bella's small whimpers were back as I took her clit ring between my teeth and pulled on it, sucking it into my mouth as my tongue circled her bundle of nerves. My fingers found her entrance and I plunged two in, groaning at how fucking wet she was for me. I pulled them out, watching as they came out of her, slick from her orgasm and brought them to my mouth to taste.

I nearly lost my fucking load as her scent hit my mouth.

"Your cock needs to be in me in the next 5 seconds or I swear to _God_ that I'm going to spontaneously combust or something!" I opened my eyes to find Bella leaning forward on one arm as the other hand reached out to grasp my cock.

"Mother fucker!" I moaned as the heat of her hand wrapped around me, pumping me as I pushed my hips into her. It felt good, too good and my orgasm was fast approaching. This was _not_ how our first night as husband and wife was going to go.

I pushed her hand away and spread her legs a little more as I lined myself up between her lips. My eyes were on hers as I entered her completely, her head dropping to the pillow as she pulled at her hair, her moans getting louder and louder.

My movements were slow, as I wanted her to know that we were making _love_, not fucking or just having sex. This was my way of giving myself to her completely.

"Do you feel that beautiful? Do you feel how much we belong together?" I continued to move in her, deeper and deeper with every thrust, the tightening in my stomach becoming unbearable with every movement.

"Yes! God yes, _Edward_!" My name coming from her lips was the best sound I had yet to hear in my short life.

My movements picked up as Bella's hips met me thrust for thrust. Her whimpers got louder signaling me that her orgasm was near. I pulled her into my lap while I was still on my knees, never disconnecting us but wanting to get as close to her as possible. With her on top of me, I was able to get deeper in her than ever before, our eyes met as Bella's rolled back in her head in pure pleasure.

"Open your eyes." I commanded as I wrapped on hand around her waist steadying her body, the other moving to the base of her neck under her hair. "I want your eyes on _me_ when I make you cum."

Bella's bottom lip jutted out as I moved my hips into hers, bouncing her body on top of my own, her breasts bouncing against my chest. Being with her like this was too much, I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. With my hand on her back, I pushed her down harder onto my cock, our moans drowning each other out as I felt her body start to shake.

"I can't!" She purred. "I can't hold it!"

"Then don't. Cum for me baby." I pushed into her once more as I felt her walls clamping down on my cock, contracting, as a growl sounded, deep from her chest. I was done for with that sound and I came harder than ever before as I held my wife in my arms. "Fuck!"

We were both breathing heavily, our bodies still joined as one as we sat together trying to calm down from the best high _ever_.

"I love you." I kissed her neck, right over her _E_ tattoo. "I love you so much baby." I kissed her lips as her hands came to rest on my cheeks.

"I love you too, baby. Forever and always, my baby you'll be."

The reference to her favorite book made us both smile as our breathing slowed down, a relaxed gaze across Bella's face.

"_Mrs. Cullen_, can I interest you in a glass of champagne?" Bella nodded her head in agreement and slowly, _and I mean slowly_, I lifted Bella off of me as I rolled off the bed to grab the champagne.

Just as I was about to pop the cork there was a loud bang on the door, causing me to jump and the cork twisted off, knocking Bella in the shoulder.

"Ow!" She screamed and I dropped the bottle back in the ice to see what damage I had done.

"Are you ok?" I was trying not to laugh, but I knew the worst that could've happened was that she had a new bruise, but with Bella, that was nothing new. Bella looked up at me laughing as I kissed around the red mark on her arm.

"Yeah. What the fuck was that though?" Bella started to get up but I put my hand on her chest stopping her.

"Oh no, you aren't getting out of this bed tonight, unless it's to have shower or balcony sex. I'll go see what it is." Bella's eyes widened with thoughts of more sex, and although I knew I needed to get up and see what the noise was, my cock was hard once again and I would've rather taken care of my girl then see who or what was at the damn door.

Reluctantly, I stood and pulled on my boxers telling Bella I'd be right back and went into the other room towards the door.

When I opened it, I saw Emmett, Rose and Alice running down the hallway snickering loudly as they ran into each other. Alice fell over as she seemed to be pretty tanked and Emmett picked her up and threw her over his shoulder as they ran out of sight. He winked at me as they turned the corner, which kinda weirded me out. I ran my hand through my hair shaking my head at the thought of what they had been doing up here.

I looked down to find Bella's missing shoe on the carpeted floor and a bottle of lube tucked neatly inside of it.

_Psh… like my girl would ever need lube._

I noticed there was a note taped to the door with a piece of gum that I tried not to touch while I pulled it off, and brought everything back inside before shutting and _locking_ the door.

_No more interruptions, I hope._

"Who was that?" Bella came out of the bedroom with a silk robe being tied shut, looking thoroughly happy, very post coital. My bottom lip dropped at the sight of her in that robe, her taught nipples poking through the thin fabric teasing me.

"I thought I told you not to get out of bed!" I yelled playfully as my hand went to my crotch trying to talk down my man.

Bella came to stand in front of me as she wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed my chest.

"Maybe I want balcony sex next." She moaned as I felt her nibbling on my ear. "_Mr. Cullen_, are you going to tell me who was at the door so we can drink that champagne and move to the balcony?"

Right. Bella nibbling on my ear totally had me lost and I held up her shoe and the bottle of lube for her to see.

Bella took the bottle of lube and chucked it on the couch.

"Like _I_ would need that!" _That's my girl!_

"There's a note too." I pulled open the piece of paper trying to go around the wad of gum.

Double Mint if I wasn't mistaken and opened it up.

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Fucktard,_

_We regret to inform you that we found your shoe in the elevator, and Alice wanted to hold it hostage but that plan back fired. Some old guy with big glasses named Harold told us it was Bella Barbie's. How he knew it was hers is beyond us, but either way, he asked what room you were staying in as his wife hit him in the stomach with her purse. Anyways, I think it's a good idea that you bought the entire floor Edward because we can already hear Bella's moans from outside the door. Damn boy! We'd feel bad for your neighbors if there were any. Hope the two of you have a fucktastic night filled with lots and lots of raging sex. Oh and the lube is from Alice, she thought you guys might want to play, but I don't want to think about that kind of shit._

_Peace out fuckers!_

"Emmett." We said together then laughed at the thought of poor Harold and his apparent shoe fetish. It was kinda creepy.

"God, I swear he writes like he talks." Bella said as she went to grab the bottle of champagne as I threw the note on the counter and made my way out to the balcony.

It was a beautiful night, not to hot, not to cold and we were completely _alone_. Bella was finally my wife _forever_.

I wasn't alone for very long. I turned at the sound of glasses clinking together to find Bella leaning against the doorway, just staring at me.

"See anything you like?" I teased as I grabbed the champagne and poured us both a glass, then held mine up.

"With you, I always see something I like." Bella licked the rim of her glass causing my cock to harden instantly.

"A toast." I held up my glass as Bella did the same. "To us."

Bella looked at me confused then burst out laughing as I took my champagne and chugged the entire glass in one swallow.

"What?"

"A toast to _us_? That's it?" I put my glass down on the table and took hers and did the same as I went for the tie holding her robe shut and started loosening it.

"Yup. That's it, that's all you get. I have more important things on my mind than thinking up another toast." Her robe opened, displaying her perky breasts, nipples hardened from the slight chill in the air as I wrapped her in my arms and hitched her leg over my hip. "So many more important things to think about right now." I ran my hand up the back of her thigh until my hand was at her entrance once more, feeling how wet and ready she was for me. And _nothing_ was more important in that moment than making love to my wife for the second time tonight on our own private balcony, just the two of us, no concerns of trust or worry, just feeling one another completely.

**A/N: Yup, I ended it there, for real. I had to leave it hanging somewhere and you got one round of sex out of it at least.**

**So, next up is the Epi and then we are officially done. I know, wipe the tears. It's sad but had to happen at some point.**

**Anyone have any good wedding night stories? After our reception and dance, we went through the drive through at McDonalds as it was the only thing open, and we sat on the bed in our hotel room, I was still wearing my tiara (with a pretty nightie) and we ate chicken nuggets (which are awesome when you are buzzed), and then you know… but we won't go into those details. I wore that tiara to bed **_**and**_** the next day at the gift opening. I still put it on from time to time. It **_**sparkles**_**.**

**Anyways… enough about me, send me your stories, create a little smut entry of your own. **

**Reviews were absolutely AMAZING for the last chapter. Can we do just as well for this one? It will get me to write the epi faster, promise!**

**Reviews are better than…watching Edward pleasure himself in front of you. Who am I kidding? No they're not, but it got your attention at least.**


	34. Chapter 34 Epilogue

**A/N: Well kiddo's, this is it; the last time I welcome you to a chapter of '_Never Again'. _**

**Is it sad that I have tears because of this? Yeah, probably, but this was my baby, my first time attempting to put myself out there for others to see. And no, it wasn't perfect, there were errors, _many actually,_ and I probably still won't get things right in the next story, but it was fun. And that's what FF is supposed to be about. And, now I know that I can _indeed_ put my work out there and feel _proud_** **of it. So, a huge thank you for those who have been there with me through the past 5 crazy months. You know who you are, and how much I appreciate you.**

**More notes on the bottom, because I'm sure you have more important things to read, like what ended up happening to our favorite couple.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own the ideas that are floating in my head about what happens to Tatward and Bella Barbie.**

Epilogue

EPOV

_September 12__th__, 6:45pm_

"Bella? Bella baby, talk to me!" Her face scrunched up as she doubled over in pain, crying out for me to help her. My hands went to her back, trying to think of _anything_ that could make this a bit easier for her to endure, but I came up blank.

I hated seeing my wife in pain, and if I could, I would take it for her, but this time it wasn't possible and I was just a bystander to what was happening.

"Edward, it hurts! It hurts so bad!" I had absolutely no clue how to make my Bella feel better. I was an idiot. I should have paid attention more so that when d-day actually arrived, I would have been prepared, but I wasn't, and here we stand with me feeling like a jackass and Bella _thinking_ I was a jackass for not doing anything but stand there and watch her as she was screaming in excrutiating pain.

After a few more minutes of thinking to myself, my mind started to function a bit more, _now that the panic of Bella screaming in pain wore off a little._

"Come on Love, it's gonna be ok. I promise." I wrapped my arm around her waist as we walked towards the garage and out to the car.

Her cries, as much as she tried to hide them from me, got louder and louder as I buckled her in. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought she was being torn limb from limb. We waited too long. We should have gone sooner, but Bella's stubborn and doesn't listen very well.

But her _stubbornness_ is probably one of her best qualities and one of the things I loved most about my wife.

***

_5 years ago_

"Baby, talk to me. I don't know how to make you feel better if you don't talk to me about what's going on." We were lying on our bed, Bella's back to me as I listened to her quietly cry to herself.

We had just gotten back from a month long trip to Brazil earlier today. I'd taken Bella to a private island where we spent the entire time alone, just the two of us and I _thought_ that we had an amazing time, that is until we returned home and I found Bella laying in bed, crying, not uttering a single word to me.

It had been a rough first year of our marriage to say the least. Our wedding was amazing, one of the best nights of my life, and our time in Jamaica was something neither of us would ever forget, but coming home and trying for a family weighed heavily on both of us.

Alice and Jasper's wedding was off the hook, and now our family was complete. Well, complete in the sense that we had each found someone that we couldn't live without and all the weddings were over. _Not_ complete in all other senses of the word.

In the months leading up to their wedding, Alice hadn't been herself. We all figured that with having free reign on her own wedding, she would be excited and overly chipper about everything, but that was _not_ the case. She was bitchier than I figured she could be, but we all chalked it up to the fact that she was bridezilla to the extreme, that is until she didn't toast with champagne at their wedding, and my loving brother Emmett shouted out _'You're pregnant?_' in front of about 300 people.

Little Jackson was born about two months ago, and that's when I decided that it was a perfect time for Bella and I to have some alone time together. _Alone_. I thought that if we were in a relaxed atmosphere, it would help things along, but like usual, I was wrong.

Rose and Emmett found out they were expecting again when Emma Rose turned one, and that put a damper on Bella's already ever changing mood. It's not that she wasn't happy for them, but they were now working on their second child, when we had yet to be blessed with our first.

Alice and Jasper moved out of the apartment building to their own house just outside the city so they would have more space for their expanding family about a month before Jackson was born. Rose and Emmett followed suit a few months later, moving in about 5 miles down the road from them. We'd been looking for our own house, but with the wedding, Alice and Jasper's wedding, the births of Jackson and Kellan, and trying to start our own family, it just didn't work for us to continue looking at the time.

Although we still saw everyone on a daily basis, our nights were spent just the two of us and that left Bella with lots of time to think about the fact that it was _just_ the two of us. I loved Bella with everything that I had, but we'd been trying to conceive for the past year with no success and it was literally killing her.

The day we got the call to come to the hospital to meet Jackson, I could tell that I needed to do _something_. Bella cried a lot that morning, and when she actually was able to hold him, feeling the tiny infant in her arms, the tears only got worse and my entire family looked at me for answers, feeling her pain, but unsure how to help her.

Bella wanted to be pregnant, _I_ wanted to get her pregnant, but her body just wasn't cooperating.

So, in an effort to get Bella's mind off of what was happening in the real world, we spent the last month in Brazil being tourists. And for the most part, we had an amazing time. We spent endless hours on the beach, making love on the sand, in the water and on the boat. Bella was happy. She was actually genuinely _happy_ for the first time since our wedding.

But the moment we came home, she took a pregnancy test, which wasn't much different than any other month, seeing that she had been taking them regularly since the attack just to make sure she wasn't pregnant. But now that we _wanted_ her to be, it just wasn't happening.

"Baby, _please_, just let me in. I…I don't know what else to do for you." I wrapped my arms around her waist pulling her to my chest, nuzzling my nose into her hair, trying to hold back the tears I felt for my own pain.

"I'm sorry, I just really though that this time was different. I mean, I was getting these really weird cravings while we were there, never had I wanted eggs so bad in my life. And the cravings made me think of the last time I was pregnant and I _really_ wanted to be pregnant. I'm sorry that you married a nut job Edward. You deserve so much more!" She rolled over to face me as I cradled her to my chest, letting her cry, knowing there wasn't a damn thing I could say right now that was going to make it better.

"Baby. We've tried it on our own for a year. What do you think about asking for some help now?" I didn't know if she would get more upset with what I was suggesting, or if she would actually like the idea. I had been pondering it for months now and had to get it out in the open before my _own_ head exploded.

Bella's head lifted and her red, tear filled eyes met mine as the biggest grin spread across her face.

"You mean it? You don't think it'd be weird getting a little _help_?" The smile on her face was so genuine and real, I cried. I cried for the fact that I was able to make her smile, when she had been so depressed.

I placed a kiss on her forehead, holding her to me tighter than before.

"I'm positive. I want a family with you B, I know how hard this last year has been on you, and I want us to have this together. I want you to be happy. I want _us_ to be happy again, just like we used to be."

"Where do we begin?"

***

_September 12, 6:59pm_

Her skin was pale and I was really starting to wonder if we'd waited too long. I called Carlisle as soon as we were in the car and told him her symptoms and he was meeting us at the hospital.

"Edward, drive like you did when I first met you!" She screamed from beside me as her hands held onto the seat belt so hard that I thought she was going to rip it from the side of the car.

I chuckled, thinking her comment was _funny_, but when I looked over to see the angriest expression _ever_ across my wife's face, I realized apparently it wasn't so funny after all.

"I'm sorry for laughing, Love. I just…never thought I would hear you say _that,_ B. You've told me to slow down so many times in the past few years, that I didn't realize that you still had a wild bone in your body."

She didn't think that was funny either.

This was going to be a _long_ night.

***

_4 years ago._

3 failed attempts at invitro.

Bella's happy mood didn't last long when time after time we came up empty handed. Each time she took the _6_ pregnancy tests that she insisted on taking, and finding that they all came up negative, I learned to let her have her moment, before going through the familiar routine of buying a gallon of ice cream, a bottle of Jack and a pack of cigarettes.

Shortly after the wedding, we both quit smoking knowing that it wasn't healthy, and we wanted to have a clean environment for our future family, but after the first invitro was negative and Bella asked me to stop at the gas station to grab her a pack, I wasn't going to turn her down.

No one in their right mind would have said _anything_ at that moment that she didn't agree with.

So, this was our routine, and I was more than happy to try and make her feel good, knowing that what she wasn't letting me see was that I was slowly losing the Bella I knew and loved little by little.

_***_

_September 12__th__, 7:48pm_

"Is everything alright Carlisle? Please tell me everything's fine, I don't think I could take it, if you were to tell me anything else." Bella looked like she was about to cry, and I couldn't let her get even more stressed out. Her heart couldn't take it, and I wasn't just going to stand here and let it happen.

"Dad?" I grabbed Bella's hand as I waited for my father to finish checking her over.

His smiling face reassured me that everything indeed was fine, and that my Bella was just getting herself worked up over nothing. I couldn't blame her for thinking that something bad was going to happen, but I didn't want to think like that right now. We were so close that I _wouldn't_ think any bad thoughts until this was all over.

With his hand on her knee my father calmed her down with his soothing voice. "Everything's just fine dear, I promise."

***

_3 years ago._

The plane ride had been long, but one we were more than happy to endure. Hell, it had been a long damn year, the process and paperwork taking for fucking ever to clear.

But in a matter of hours we would be in China and it was going to be worth all the tears, breakdowns and stress that our marriage has had to undergo over the past few years.

"How ya doing Bell? We're almost there, are ya ready for this?" Jasper's hand on Bella's was soothing. He had always been a relaxer for her, and had decided to accompany us for the next week while we were in China. Jasper still played a huge role in Bella's life as her brother and best friend, and was here for emotional support for _our_ girl, knowing that she was going to need all that she could get.

Bella gave him a small smile in return as she squeezed his hand back.

"I'm good. Just feeling a little like this isn't _really_ happening, ya know? Like my life isn't going to change in 2 hours when we get off this plane, but I know it will."

Bella held the picture in her hand as tears ran down her face. The same picture she hadn't let out of her sight for the past month.

I kissed her head as she leaned against my shoulder.

"Just you wait beautiful, our lives are about to change in the best possible way."

Bella looked at me before placing a soft kiss on my lips. The pull I felt towards my wife hadn't changed one bit from the day I first met her all those years ago.

"I love you baby. I'm so excited, I just…wow. I can't wait. Can't this plane move any faster?"

I chuckled into her hair at her impatience as I kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry my love, but I don't think I can bribe the pilot to fly any faster than he already is."

"Remember what Mama always said Bell, _'good things come to those who wait'_, and well, you two have waited long enough. It's your time, and Mama was never wrong. Only good things from here on out." If Jasper wasn't making my wife feel better right now, I would have totally kicked his ass for acting like such a pansy, but truer words never rang so loud than the ones he spoke.

Bella and I had been patient, we waited for our chance at a happy life, and now we were going to get it.

After unloading our things at the hotel, Bella got really quiet. She grabbed the plush duck that she'd bought the day we found out that we would be going to China, and the three of us were out the door and in a cab. With our translator giving directions to the cab driver, we were off. Even though Bella and I had both been studying up on our Chinese for the past year, hoping and praying that this trip would actually happen, we still wanted someone with us that could speak the language fluently.

"This is it." I whispered to Bella as I pulled her against me tight, trying to calm her nerves a little so she would stop shaking so badly.

"This is it." She whispered back, more to herself than anything, but I heard her.

I knew exactly what she meant.

BPOV

As we pulled up in front of _'Caring Hands'_, my heart rate was going a mile a minute. I couldn't wait one more second; we had waited so long already.

We were led in to a small room, and Jasper stood off to the side with a video camera in hand to capture every moment for us.

Edward had his arm around my waist as I clenched that duck tight in my hands, tears running down my face in anticipation.

An elderly Chinese woman came in the room with a tiny little black haired baby in her hands, and I all but leaped at her, wanting to feel her in my own arms.

Our translator said something to the woman, and the next thing I knew, I was holding _my _baby.

_Our baby._

"She's so beautiful." I moaned as I held her head to my chest, shaking us both with my emotional overload. I had a hard time seeing her clearly due to the fact that I couldn't control my crying, but I knew that she was absolutely perfect.

After the invitro treatments failed us, we started paperwork for the adoption process. I knew that we wouldn't have much of a problem trying to adopt within the US, but I'd always wanted to, if I had the chance, adopt from China. There were so many little girls that were abandoned, unwanted because of the fact that boys were the dominant sex, and I knew we could and would give a little girl a happy home where she would be loved and cared for.

And now, this little girl, all 12 pounds 3 ounces of her was in my arms. _Mine._

I was so thankful that Edward was standing behind me as my knees buckled and my legs felt like jello.

For the past few years, going through heartache after heartache, I was starting to think that the idea of being a mother wasn't ever going to be mine. Esme had asked if we looked into adoption after seeing what we were going through, and helped us in finding a great agency to work with. With Edward being adopted, she knew the process well and understood where I was coming from better than anyone else.

"Hi _Carlie_, I'm your mama. You're absolutely amazing little girl, and you have _no_ idea how much your papa and I have wanted you, waited just for you." With one arm still around my waist, Edward's other hand came up to brush away my tears, then took her little hand in his.

Her brown eyes looked up at him, and even though she was only three months, she had lots of smiles to give her papa, which made us both smile back in return.

He sniffled back some tears as his hand rested on her little head.

"Hey baby girl. We're so glad to finally meet you. Your picture didn't do you any justice, you're more precious than I could have ever imagined. Your mama didn't let go of it for one second since the moment we found out that we were lucky enough to have you. We love you so much." When he placed a lingering kiss on her forehead, I about lost it, watching the love he had for his _daughter_.

I looked up at Edward as he wiped away tears from his reddened eyes and gave him a kiss on the lips.

"She's really ours, huh?" I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face at the realization that she was actually coming home with us.

"She is. Congratulations on becoming a _mama_." Edward kissed the side of my head as I held Carlie tighter to my chest, wanting her to feel every ounce of love I felt for her.

After the initial crying died down a little, Jasper met his niece and the 4 of us sat together getting to know one another the best we could. I did what any new mother would do and counted all 10 toes and fingers, took in the fresh baby smell of her little head, and rocked her in a chair while I fed her a bottle. Edward and I took turns holding her, both having a hard time giving our little girl up when our turn was over.

Because of the legal paperwork that still needed to be filed, we weren't allowed to take Carlie with us that night. We would have to wait until our court date in the morning before she was legally our daughter.

Leaving her that evening, only 4 hours after we had met her, was the single worst thing I had ever had to do. I would take that night in the alley with James 10 times over, than to have to give up my daughter, my heart and soul, for the night. I trusted the women that worked at the agency, but I'd waited so long for her, that I felt that I couldn't wait any longer and she _needed_ to be with me.

After one final last kiss, Edward wrapped me in his arms and walked us back to the cab. Jasper whispered in my ear one more time that good things come to those who wait, and I could only nod in agreement, knowing that what he said was true, but was feeling impatient.

The following morning, Edward dressed in a nice black pantsuit and myself in a black dress, armed with a diaper bag, we were on our way to officially become _parents_ to our _daughter_.

As the translator spoke the words from the judge that _Carlie Isabella Cullen_ was legally our daughter, and she was handed to us, I bawled like a baby. Jasper was next to us, catching the entire thing on camera to show our family when we got back.

We walked out of that courtroom hand in hand with our _daughter_ in Edward's arm, sleeping soundly like the angel she was.

We stayed the rest of the week in China trying to take in as much of the culture as possible so that we could understand a little more of where Carlie came from. And on our return, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose and Alice, along with Emma Rose, Kellan and Jackson were at our house to greet us and meet Carlie for the first time. A few months after filing the paperwork with the adoption agency, Edward and I moved out of the city in the same neighborhood as Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rose and we found a cute 5 bedroom house that was officially ours, ready and waiting for children to fill those rooms.

The first room was being filled tonight.

If I thought my tears were dried and gone from already getting my alone time with my little girl, I was dead wrong. Seeing our family with our daughter tore at my heartstrings, realizing how much love was in the room for that little girl. We had the most supportive family anyone could ever ask for, and were both blessed and fortunate to have people like that in our lives.

Edward and I finally had our little family, and I would be forever grateful for the chance to become a _mama_.

***

_1 year ago._

"Mama, I hungy." Carlie was in her car seat in the back of the Navigator as we drove through town.

She was wearing little pink sunglasses with her pigtails and designer jeans that Alice insisted on buying for my two year old. Why a two year old _who was just going to spill on them _needed designer jeans was beyond me, but she had an aunt that had a knack for fashion, so I usually rolled my eyes and let Alice do what Alice wanted to do.

"I know baby, we're almost there." We were on our way to pick up Edward from the shop to go out for lunch before his next client came in. Business had been great and the guys were working lots of hours to fulfill all the requests by their regulars. I was starving too, and knew _just_ the place to go.

After picking up Edward and pulling into the parking lot, Edward got Carlie out of her seat and held her in his arm as we walked in, hand in hand like the love struck couple we still were.

"KFC _again,_ B? We were just here last night." Edward and Carlie were making faces at one another as he spoke. He stuck his tongue out at her, and she wanted to know when she could get a 'petty ting' like daddies.

_Edward told her when she was 35._

"I know, but I had a craving." Actually, what Edward didn't know was that we had it last night, _and_ I had gone with Rose and Alice yesterday for lunch as well. I just couldn't get enough chicken lately.

"You and your cravings. Mama's funny, isn't she?" Edward was tickling Carlie as she let out a high-pitched giggle.

It wasn't only chicken I had been craving; _ice cream _was on the list as well.

After eating quickly and dropping Edward back off at work, I stopped at the drug store and picked up a few tests.

_Maybe…no, I wouldn't let my mind go there. I wasn't going to do this to myself. There was going to be no disappointment if I wasn't. I was content with Carlie if it wasn't in our plan to have any other children._

Shutting the door to the bathroom on our return home, locking Carlie and I in there so she didn't get into any mischief, I tore open the box of three and peed on all of them.

"Mama, what you playin wit?" Carlie was sitting on the floor with her doll and a brush looking at me curiously. I guess this really wasn't the way to teach her potty training, by watching me pee on a stick, but it was better than pulling gum out of her hair again like the last time I took the luxury of going to the bathroom in private.

"Mama has special…_markers_ that she got from the store today, because she was a good girl." We had been using the reward system lately to try and get her to go on the potty herself, so that was the best I could come up with in the short time I had.

Carlie's face looked interested as she stood and made her way to stand in front of me.

"Papa say I can't pay wit markers. They bad." I tried not to laugh at her, but if only she knew how special _these_ markers were.

Just as I was trying to come up with some witty excuse for my two year old and why I had special markers in the bathroom, I took a look at the first test, then the second and finally the third.

"I don't think papa will have _any_ problems with mama's markers. I think he will be _very_ excited to _see_ mama's markers." Tears flowed from my eyes as I wrapped my arms around Carlie and pulled her into my lap, hugging her tightly to me.

"Mama, don't cy. I sorry if I bad." Carlie's bottom lip jutted out and her eyes filled with tears.

I wrapped my hand in her long locks and pulled her head to rest against my chest.

"You did nothing wrong sweetie, mama's _happy_. Sometimes big people cry when they are happy too."

That night, I asked Esme and Carlisle to watch Carlie for us as I made a romantic candlelit dinner for Edward and I.

I was dressed in a tight black dress with high heals, and as I took the _chicken_ out of the oven, I felt hands wrap around my waist and I knew it was game time.

"This is nice." Edward kissed my neck over his tattoo as he pushed himself against me, making all sorts of wonderful feelings appear in my stomach _and_ down below. "Not that I mind, but where's my girl?"

I turned around and placed my hands on his chest as I kissed his lips, slowly before dipping my tongue into his mouth.

"She's with your mom."

He looked at me curiously as he ran a hand across my cheek.

"What's the occasion B? You obviously have something planned. And I see we're having chicken again, are you against cows or something?" He gave me the crooked smile I loved and adored as I could only laugh back at him.

"Nope. I like cows, just have been craving chicken…and _ice cream_." I hoped he would understand where I was getting at, but wasn't so sure from the look on his face.

We stood there for a few moments as the light bulb slowly went off and his face looked excited, and _nervous_.

"You're…please tell me that this isn't just a craving of yours…B, are you?" My poor husband looked like he was going to have an aneurysm waiting for the answer.

"Say it. I want to _hear_ you say it. Out loud." I knew this was just as much a shocker to him as it was me, but I wanted to hear him say the word.

"Are you _pregnant_ Bella?" His eyes filled with tears as I nodded my head yes, then went and got all three of my _special_ markers from the bathroom and proudly showed them to him one by one.

Needless to say, the chicken got served cold several hours later and I never thought I would say this, but Carlie stayed at grandma and grandpa's and I had my husband to myself, not thinking about anything but him and I for the rest of the night.

***

_September 13__th__, 12:01am_

"Breathe baby, just a little more and the it'll be all over." Edward held my hand in his as I blew through _another_ contraction.

He's telling _me_ to breathe, while _I'm_ the one who's going to try passing a watermelon through a hole the size of a lemon? _Is he out of his fucking mind?_

"No baby, I'm not. If I could take the pain away I would." I guess I was talking out loud as Edward answered my thoughts for me.

The next hour was long and painful, the minutes ticking by ever so slow. The anticipation to meet our baby was making us both anxious, and if I hadn't had the epidural put in, I would have been pacing the room alongside Edward.

At 1:24 in the morning, I gave my final push and heard the sweetest sound there is in life.

The cry of _our_ child.

I thought that the happiest day in our life was the day we were married, but then when I held Carlie in my arms for the first time, that trumped the wedding, and today, hearing the sound of _our_ baby, the life that Edward and I created together, well, that I think tied for first place with Carlie.

"It's a boy!" Carlisle announced with a shaky voice as he handed Edward the scissors to cut the cord. He was a grandpa again!

I looked over at Edward who proudly wore his tears, falling from both eyes as he cut the cord and handed the scissors to one of the nurses. He took my hands in his and bent down to place a deep kiss on my lips as we cried together.

"He's here." Edward wrapped me in the best hug he could from where he stood at the side of my bed as I took in the fact that our _son_ was actually here, with us. "Our little _EJ_."

"EJ?" Edward looked at me curiously as I smiled back.

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind, I named him after his papa. _Edward Jr_." The smile on my husbands face couldn't be wiped off if you tried at the thought of his son being named after him.

"Edward Jr." Edward whispered to himself as our baby was placed in my arms, the familiar green eyes staring back up at us.

Edward and I were elated with joy as we basked in the glow of our little man. As I reached down to rub across Anthony's name on my wrist, I saw Edward doing the same. Anthony now had a sister and brother, and as much as we wanted him here with us to share in the joy, we knew he was up there, with Charlie and Mama watching over us.

Esme brought Carlie a few hours later, still in her jammies and looking like she needed a few more hours of sleep. She crawled up on the bed with the help of Edward and nuzzled into my side as EJ lay across my other side, latched on to my breast, watching me with a serious expression across his little face as he ate.

"Mama, is dat my baby broder?" Carlie asked as she gently ran her little hand over his face. We had prepared her the best we could over the past few months, and she'd been practicing her _gentle_ touches on her dolls.

"It is, baby girl. What do you think of him?" Edward asked, as he leaned over the bed and wrapped his arm around her.

She looked up at him before looking at me with a smile on her face.

"I tink I wov him. Tan I keep him?" Only a three year old would ask if she could keep a baby, her innocence playing so strong.

It took a few years, a lot of heartache and sadness, but we finally had the family we were meant to have. As I held my son _and_ daughter in my arms, Edward at my side, I couldn't think of a single thing more that I needed in that moment.

Mama was right as usual; good things _did_ come to those who wait. And we waited, our time came, and our family was finally _complete_. Edward whispered _'I love you'_ to me as he picked Carlie up and sat with her in the rocking chair next to the bed, holding my hand in his as I finished feeding our son and he rocked our daughter to sleep.

I never did finish the book I started all those years ago. It wasn't important any longer. My priorities had changed over the years, and it only brought back bad memories of what was happening in my life at the time thinking about that book. I did however, start a line of children's books that Carlie draws pictures for. My creativity for _that_ line of work has been in full swing and with the inspiration from our new little addition; I think I'll have _plenty_ to write about for years to come.

**A/N: So that's it, that's all I wrote.**

**I don't really know what to say, most of the time authors write a really long closing note, but I think you all know how much I appreciate the fact that you took the time to even read and review this little ditty to begin with.**

**I started writing on FF because I was trying to get myself out of a rut I'd been in for months due to my husband getting laid off because of the 'economic recession'. (I have come to _hate_ those words by the way.) Never did I think it would give me an outlet like this, letting my imagination run free and brighten my spirits as much as it did. I've met some **_**amazing**_** people on the journey through writing '**_**Never Again**_**' and I am forever grateful for each one of you.**

**So, I'm done, if you're still reading this, then a big kiss to you for that. I tend to ramble which if you ever PM'd me, or reviewed, you already know.**

**There is no sequel planned for this story as of yet. I think I need to be done with it to move on to new projects. Many of you already are reading it, but if you didn't know, I have '**_**Give and Take'**_** out right now which we're just getting started on. I also have several other stories in the works that will be making their way to FF in the near future. Put me on author alert if your interested in reading any more of my rambles.**

**It's been fun kids. For old time's sake, push the review one last time and let me know what you think. We made it over a 1,000 which I never thought in my wildest dreams would happen.**

**I hope to see each of you down the road through my other stories.**

**Monika, it's time for a big glass of wine, see you on the ship. I'll be the one in blue!**

**Thanks!**

**~pattsylove~**


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